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The Forgiveness Project: Stories for a Vengeful Age
What is forgiveness?
Are some acts unforgivable?
Can forgiveness take the place of revenge? Powerful real-life stories from survivors and perpetrators of crime and violence reveal the true impact of forgiveness on ordinary people worldwide. Exploring forgiveness as an alternative to resentment or retaliation, the storytellers give an honest, moving account of their experiences and what part forgiveness has played in their lives. Despite extreme circumstances, their stories open the door to a society without revenge. All royalties from the sale of this book go to The Forgiveness Project charity.
Are some acts unforgivable?
Can forgiveness take the place of revenge? Powerful real-life stories from survivors and perpetrators of crime and violence reveal the true impact of forgiveness on ordinary people worldwide. Exploring forgiveness as an alternative to resentment or retaliation, the storytellers give an honest, moving account of their experiences and what part forgiveness has played in their lives. Despite extreme circumstances, their stories open the door to a society without revenge. All royalties from the sale of this book go to The Forgiveness Project charity.
240 pages, Paperback
First published March 26, 2015
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1115 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 42 reviews
June 10, 2015
FIVE STARS*****
( ARC kindly provided by Netgalley)
"When I talk of forgiveness I mean the ability to let go of the right to revenge and to slip the chains of rage that bind you to the person who harmed you. When you forgive you are free of the hatred and anger that locks you in a state of victimhood."
This is probably the most powerful book I'll ever read in my life. Forgiveness may seem like just a word, one with only one meaning if you look it up in the dictionary but is far more complicated and powerful than anyone could ever think.
The Forgiveness Project is a compilation of stories of hope and forgiveness of people who have suffered tremendous pain and gone through life shattering situations. These people, who have been hurt in the worst ways possible and have felt real hate against those who hurt them. After years of being victims of the horrible pain, they found healing and power in forgiving their perpetrators.
How can you truly forgive the man who kills a child, or the men who brutally rape a young woman? I could never even begin to think about something like that, but is real, it happens. There are people in this world who suffered from years and had tried everything in order to help them move on with their lives but the only thing that really set them free was to trade hate for compassion towards those who abuse them.
Forgiveness is different for everybody but this book showcases how powerful it is and how it can turn something truly ugly into magnificent beauty. We all have commited offences against other people at some point in our lives, some definitely worst than others but reading this book made me feel hopeful to raise my children in a world where even though, everyday we see bad stuff happening around us, there is also healing and change for the better through love, because ultimately to forgive is to love, ourselves and others.
This book coveys a beautiful message but not in a religious way, it is very respectful and approachable for all people. Some of the stories made me cringe and some made me cry but in the end they gave me hope and a new perspective about life. To forgive is to live...
The Forgiveness Project is a UK-based charity that creates opportunities for people to consider the limits and possibilities of forgiveness.
You can follow the stories and updates on Facebook at:
https://www.facebook.com/ForgivenessProj
http://theforgivenessproject.com/
( ARC kindly provided by Netgalley)
"When I talk of forgiveness I mean the ability to let go of the right to revenge and to slip the chains of rage that bind you to the person who harmed you. When you forgive you are free of the hatred and anger that locks you in a state of victimhood."
This is probably the most powerful book I'll ever read in my life. Forgiveness may seem like just a word, one with only one meaning if you look it up in the dictionary but is far more complicated and powerful than anyone could ever think.
The Forgiveness Project is a compilation of stories of hope and forgiveness of people who have suffered tremendous pain and gone through life shattering situations. These people, who have been hurt in the worst ways possible and have felt real hate against those who hurt them. After years of being victims of the horrible pain, they found healing and power in forgiving their perpetrators.
How can you truly forgive the man who kills a child, or the men who brutally rape a young woman? I could never even begin to think about something like that, but is real, it happens. There are people in this world who suffered from years and had tried everything in order to help them move on with their lives but the only thing that really set them free was to trade hate for compassion towards those who abuse them.
Forgiveness is different for everybody but this book showcases how powerful it is and how it can turn something truly ugly into magnificent beauty. We all have commited offences against other people at some point in our lives, some definitely worst than others but reading this book made me feel hopeful to raise my children in a world where even though, everyday we see bad stuff happening around us, there is also healing and change for the better through love, because ultimately to forgive is to love, ourselves and others.
This book coveys a beautiful message but not in a religious way, it is very respectful and approachable for all people. Some of the stories made me cringe and some made me cry but in the end they gave me hope and a new perspective about life. To forgive is to live...
The Forgiveness Project is a UK-based charity that creates opportunities for people to consider the limits and possibilities of forgiveness.
You can follow the stories and updates on Facebook at:
https://www.facebook.com/ForgivenessProj
http://theforgivenessproject.com/
February 5, 2015
Awe Inspiring and Moving book
Marina Cantacuzino has produced a difficult book to review. It would be easy to make trite statements about the many stories captured here and that would not honour the contents of this remarkable book. “The Forgiveness Project” is a collection of short pieces written about forgiveness by scores of people. People of every age and creed, from every continent; perpetrators, “victims” and families of “victims” of atrocious violence and acts of war. And yet somehow Cantacuzino has produced the most uplifting book. Part of it’s success, I think, is because it is not “preaching” or “advising”, it merely lays out the stories and allows the reader to consider them. What would you do, how would you feel and would you be able to do what these people have done and “forgive”? Forgive the man who raped you, forgive the young man who murdered your husband, forgive the perpetrators of hideous acts of “war”…. Another successful path is not attempting to “define” forgiveness but acknowledge that it is different for each individual and indeed possibly for each individual in different circumstances.
In the foreword by Archbishop Desmond Tutu, he says: -
“The process of forgiving does not exclude hatred and anger. These emotions are all part of being human. When I talk of forgiveness I mean the ability to let go of the right to revenge and to slip the chains of rage that bind you to the person who harmed you.”
Cantacuzino says in her introduction that forgiveness: -
“…may have a strong degree of pardoning attached to it, or it may just be a sense that you have released something poisonous or let go of something heavy that no longer weighs you down. In this sense, forgiveness means not allowing the pain of the past to dictate the path of the future.”
It is difficult to say anything about this book beyond a couple of quotes from the stories within it: -
“I also realised that they wouldn’t know if I felt hate towards them and the only person it was hurting was me. I can honestly say that I have no hate, fear or revenge in my heart towards them anymore. I know that whatever they did to me, they can never touch the real essence of me and who I am.”
“…honouring Life is to live without hatred, to not seek revenge or want violent retribution; to ensure that the cycle of conflict ends with me.”
I am not sure who will read this book and how people will choose to pick it up but it deserves to be widely read and should be in every school library and the library of every place of incarceration. The remarkable people telling their stories (including Cantacuzino herself) could change lives.
I was given a free copy of this book via netgalley in return for an honest review.
Marina Cantacuzino has produced a difficult book to review. It would be easy to make trite statements about the many stories captured here and that would not honour the contents of this remarkable book. “The Forgiveness Project” is a collection of short pieces written about forgiveness by scores of people. People of every age and creed, from every continent; perpetrators, “victims” and families of “victims” of atrocious violence and acts of war. And yet somehow Cantacuzino has produced the most uplifting book. Part of it’s success, I think, is because it is not “preaching” or “advising”, it merely lays out the stories and allows the reader to consider them. What would you do, how would you feel and would you be able to do what these people have done and “forgive”? Forgive the man who raped you, forgive the young man who murdered your husband, forgive the perpetrators of hideous acts of “war”…. Another successful path is not attempting to “define” forgiveness but acknowledge that it is different for each individual and indeed possibly for each individual in different circumstances.
In the foreword by Archbishop Desmond Tutu, he says: -
“The process of forgiving does not exclude hatred and anger. These emotions are all part of being human. When I talk of forgiveness I mean the ability to let go of the right to revenge and to slip the chains of rage that bind you to the person who harmed you.”
Cantacuzino says in her introduction that forgiveness: -
“…may have a strong degree of pardoning attached to it, or it may just be a sense that you have released something poisonous or let go of something heavy that no longer weighs you down. In this sense, forgiveness means not allowing the pain of the past to dictate the path of the future.”
It is difficult to say anything about this book beyond a couple of quotes from the stories within it: -
“I also realised that they wouldn’t know if I felt hate towards them and the only person it was hurting was me. I can honestly say that I have no hate, fear or revenge in my heart towards them anymore. I know that whatever they did to me, they can never touch the real essence of me and who I am.”
“…honouring Life is to live without hatred, to not seek revenge or want violent retribution; to ensure that the cycle of conflict ends with me.”
I am not sure who will read this book and how people will choose to pick it up but it deserves to be widely read and should be in every school library and the library of every place of incarceration. The remarkable people telling their stories (including Cantacuzino herself) could change lives.
I was given a free copy of this book via netgalley in return for an honest review.
April 1, 2015
Thanks to Netgalley and publisher for this read!
What a tremendous collection of stories! What I love about this collection is that each person's story is unique and thus his or her definition of forgiveness varies. This book provided me with an education into many different tales of suffering from around the world, then it added balm to the pain of their suffering by sharing their stories of the peace they found by finding their own forms of forgiveness. Many of these real-life stories touched me deeply and I feel blessed to be exposed to this Forgiveness Project. The ideas and ideals I have learned will impact me in my life and I look forward to sharing that with my family, friends and students.
A powerful collection!
What a tremendous collection of stories! What I love about this collection is that each person's story is unique and thus his or her definition of forgiveness varies. This book provided me with an education into many different tales of suffering from around the world, then it added balm to the pain of their suffering by sharing their stories of the peace they found by finding their own forms of forgiveness. Many of these real-life stories touched me deeply and I feel blessed to be exposed to this Forgiveness Project. The ideas and ideals I have learned will impact me in my life and I look forward to sharing that with my family, friends and students.
A powerful collection!
September 21, 2020
This was a book that’s really made me think. The things these people managed to forgive were heartbreaking. It was also a really interesting discussion into what forgiveness actually is, how different people interpret it and who it really benefits.
May 28, 2015
An excellent read. Review to follow shortly!
August 12, 2025
Really interesting book full of stories of people’s relationships with forgiveness. At times the understanding of forgiveness was quite vague and ambiguous and so I didn’t always share the same views. That aside there are a lot of inspirational stories of people coming to understand more of their own and others’ humanity and need for forgiveness. Easy to read format although included dark themes understandably.
April 2, 2015
The book opens with an introduction from the author Mariana Cantacuzino. In 2003, she collected stories in words and pictures from people who sought forgiveness and reconciliation instead of revenge. In 2004, she created ‘The F Word’ exhibition. In her introduction she talks about how no one should be forced to forgive or feel like they must; the point of the project is not to persuade people to forgive. Restorative justice focuses on the needs of the victims and offenders, as well as the involved community. This goes along with the idea behind sharing stories and talking to consider and reflect and decide whether you are ready to forgive. The introduction sets the tone for the rest of the book, the exploration of forgiveness and how different individuals interpret it and have dealt with it in their own lives.
This powerful collection of stories is from survivors and perpetrators from all over the world on how they have considered the concept of forgiveness. I appreciated the unique perspectives and how different people engage the concept of forgiveness. These individuals are coming from different backgrounds and different beliefs. Some decided to forgive right away, others took many years, and some are still working on becoming ready to forgive. Some are forgiving others and some are working on forgiving themselves. I thought the diverseness of opinions and ideas made this collection stronger.
There were a couple ideas that really stuck with me and helped me realize some new thoughts about forgiveness. Magdeline Makola said, “You don’t have to trust someone just because they are forgiven.” Anne Marie Hagan said, “Forgiveness is not permission. It doesn’t mean that you agree with what the offender has done.” I think it is often assumed that once someone is forgiven we have to forget what they did and act like it didn’t happen. It’s reassuring the think that just because you forgive someone doesn’t mean you are saying what they did was okay and you don’t automatically trust them again.
I would most definitely recommend this book to anyone who has an interest in restorative justice, a peaceful response to violence, or anyone who wants to read inspirational stories and learn more about forgiveness. A collection of stories about violence and crime could have been horrific to read, however reading about the healing and forgiveness made it an uplifting read; the stories didn’t focus on the tragic events. This is a book that educated me, made me cry, and touched me deeply.
I received a copy of this book from the publisher through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
This powerful collection of stories is from survivors and perpetrators from all over the world on how they have considered the concept of forgiveness. I appreciated the unique perspectives and how different people engage the concept of forgiveness. These individuals are coming from different backgrounds and different beliefs. Some decided to forgive right away, others took many years, and some are still working on becoming ready to forgive. Some are forgiving others and some are working on forgiving themselves. I thought the diverseness of opinions and ideas made this collection stronger.
There were a couple ideas that really stuck with me and helped me realize some new thoughts about forgiveness. Magdeline Makola said, “You don’t have to trust someone just because they are forgiven.” Anne Marie Hagan said, “Forgiveness is not permission. It doesn’t mean that you agree with what the offender has done.” I think it is often assumed that once someone is forgiven we have to forget what they did and act like it didn’t happen. It’s reassuring the think that just because you forgive someone doesn’t mean you are saying what they did was okay and you don’t automatically trust them again.
I would most definitely recommend this book to anyone who has an interest in restorative justice, a peaceful response to violence, or anyone who wants to read inspirational stories and learn more about forgiveness. A collection of stories about violence and crime could have been horrific to read, however reading about the healing and forgiveness made it an uplifting read; the stories didn’t focus on the tragic events. This is a book that educated me, made me cry, and touched me deeply.
I received a copy of this book from the publisher through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
May 9, 2015
A fascinating and thought provoking exploration of a very many-faceted topic which affects every single one of us in some way.
In her Introduction, Marina Cantacuzino gives an intelligent, informed and unbiased account of her personal exploration of forgiveness, its manifestations and great changeability. Following this she enables the stories of others who for some reason or another have given or received forgiveness and who give details of the profound effect it has had on their lives.
Marina has selected stories from some very recent and high profile events including the sister of a victim of Fred and Rosemary West, a survivor from the 2005 train bombings in Londown and many more. Their stories are often painful to read; this is after all reality, not fiction, and these events really did happen!
This book made me think deeply and consider my own thoughts and attitude towards forgiveness, and indeed to contemplate on whether I could actually give forgiveness on the level that these people have. The book did go on on a little and I found myself becoming a little bored towards the end, and the way in which some of the narratives were written or expressed could be a little difficult to follow at times.
On the whole though, a very worthwhile book which will make you view aspects of your own life and forgivensss in a whole new light.
In her Introduction, Marina Cantacuzino gives an intelligent, informed and unbiased account of her personal exploration of forgiveness, its manifestations and great changeability. Following this she enables the stories of others who for some reason or another have given or received forgiveness and who give details of the profound effect it has had on their lives.
Marina has selected stories from some very recent and high profile events including the sister of a victim of Fred and Rosemary West, a survivor from the 2005 train bombings in Londown and many more. Their stories are often painful to read; this is after all reality, not fiction, and these events really did happen!
This book made me think deeply and consider my own thoughts and attitude towards forgiveness, and indeed to contemplate on whether I could actually give forgiveness on the level that these people have. The book did go on on a little and I found myself becoming a little bored towards the end, and the way in which some of the narratives were written or expressed could be a little difficult to follow at times.
On the whole though, a very worthwhile book which will make you view aspects of your own life and forgivensss in a whole new light.
March 15, 2016
The very first time I heard a story about forgiveness for a brutal crime was when a man killed several young Amish girls at Nickel Mines school. After it happened, members of the Amish community immediately forgave the killer and showed concern for his family members. The possibility of forgiveness was not one that most of us could comprehend. And yet, as startled as we were, I think most people, including me, were deeply impressed by such a selfless action.
The author of this book has put together many stories of forgiveness. Some of these stories are from the viewpoint of the perpetrator and others are from the victim or the families of the victim. The motivations are varied. Some felt justified in killing or hurting someone else. Others were abused as children and became abusers as adults. In the end, victims and abusers alike have come together to overcome their angry feelings and forgive those who caused them pain. Many of these people have dedicated their lives to helping others.
In the end, what I came to see was that forgiveness wasn't always easy and there could be times when the person would waiver in their feelings. The author also makes it clear that Forgiveness doesn't have to mean that a perpetrator gets off with a slap on their hand and then they are free to go.
This book is well worth your time to read.
The author of this book has put together many stories of forgiveness. Some of these stories are from the viewpoint of the perpetrator and others are from the victim or the families of the victim. The motivations are varied. Some felt justified in killing or hurting someone else. Others were abused as children and became abusers as adults. In the end, victims and abusers alike have come together to overcome their angry feelings and forgive those who caused them pain. Many of these people have dedicated their lives to helping others.
In the end, what I came to see was that forgiveness wasn't always easy and there could be times when the person would waiver in their feelings. The author also makes it clear that Forgiveness doesn't have to mean that a perpetrator gets off with a slap on their hand and then they are free to go.
This book is well worth your time to read.
June 24, 2015
What a thought provoking book! Great job on the author's part of obtaining all the various personal stories from around the globe. Each personal story provided details that allowed you to relate to that individual and gain an understanding to the the tribulations that they faced, not only from the tragedy that occurred, but also through the forgiveness process. Not one of the individual's excused the crime and no one forgave the crime itself; instead they found it within themselves to truly forgive the perpetrator on some level so they may let go of the anger that was holding them back. Many people could learn from these stories; especially when we sit back and consider the trivial life occurrences that we choose to be angry about and refuse to forgive.
March 15, 2016
Marina Cantacuzino's "The Forgiveness Project: Stories for a Vengeful Age" is actually a lot better than I was expecting it to be. It's well organized and layed-out. The included stories provide good examples of the concept of forgiveness. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone.
I also like how royalties from the sale of this book go to The Forgiveness Project charity. My copy of this book was won from the Goodreads.com website and I appreciate the opportunity to read and review it.
I also like how royalties from the sale of this book go to The Forgiveness Project charity. My copy of this book was won from the Goodreads.com website and I appreciate the opportunity to read and review it.
May 16, 2015
One of the most powerful works of non-fiction that I have ever read. Life affirming stories of extraordinary forgiveness.
Full review:
http://theinsomniacbibliophile.blogsp...
Full review:
http://theinsomniacbibliophile.blogsp...
August 4, 2018
Five stars is not enough - this book might have changed my life profoundly. I had already started to think more seriously about forgiveness and how I live it in an every day kind of way, but this book made me stop and take stock of my whole life, and ask myself an important question about what my identity would be like if I completely forgave both myself and a person who altered the course of my live with his violence. What if I forgave us both for everything? Would I see myself differently, as well as seeing him differently? This book has touched something in me that I can't un-feel - a sense of deep hope. Reading this book came shortly after viewing this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEK2p... and this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhmRk... which are also worth watching. I highly recommend this book to anybody who has been through violence or has committed violence, and to anybody who finds it difficult to forgive hurt done to them or their friends/family or to understand those who have forgiven. It is a series of stories from people all over the world who have either been through or committed violence and they have either forgiven or been forgiven and the effect this has had on their lives. Incredible stories and very strong and admirable people, all of them. Shalom.
June 8, 2015
A very moving, thought provoking and difficult read. Difficult in that the stories were very open and showed the pain that many must have felt on their road of dealing with/potentially recovering from some event. Thought provoking in it really delved into the word "forgiveness" and what it means today. It really left me thinking about the strength of words, the power of people's heart, mind and emotions and the difference that each of us feel in a variety of situations. This book does not show everyone responding with forgiveness and in some stories it seemed like the person wanted to forgive but just was not there. What I enjoyed about the introduction was that MC really discussed how the stories are to be shared, not used to make people feel they must forgive or not must not forgive.
The introduction provides background of the author and how MC came to delve into this project. Frankly that was one of the more fascinating parts of the book for me because it shows the depth and breadth of her interest in the subject and respect for the feelings and people. The idea of this charity and the work behind it is fascinating and could create an interesting dialogue for many different communities and potential outreach training.
The introduction provides background of the author and how MC came to delve into this project. Frankly that was one of the more fascinating parts of the book for me because it shows the depth and breadth of her interest in the subject and respect for the feelings and people. The idea of this charity and the work behind it is fascinating and could create an interesting dialogue for many different communities and potential outreach training.
February 14, 2017
This book was a seriously challenging read. The intense emotional aftershock of each story meant that I could only read for about an hour at a time and space weeks between each session.
But wow, was it worth the effort. To experience a book that makes no judgement about what is and how to perform forgiveness - instead, privileging the perspective of each individual for each case situated at a fixed point in time - was hugely powerful and will needle me for quite a while to come. It's the kind of ache that feels good to poke at occasionally to remember our shared humanity.
But wow, was it worth the effort. To experience a book that makes no judgement about what is and how to perform forgiveness - instead, privileging the perspective of each individual for each case situated at a fixed point in time - was hugely powerful and will needle me for quite a while to come. It's the kind of ache that feels good to poke at occasionally to remember our shared humanity.
June 21, 2015
For the last 15 years, I have been writing about community improvement, citizenship and forgiveness. After reading this book, I realize that I still have a lot to learn about the latter. The introductory essay by the author and the vignettes by people that have suffered or perpetrated immeasurable harm have taught me that I still have a lot learn. Two quick things--forgiveness is gray (not black or white) and forgiveness is a direction (not a destination). A MUST READ!
July 10, 2015
An important book, full of moving, sometimes surprising, and always affecting accounts of forgiveness in the most extreme of circumstances.
The highlight for me is the brilliant extended introduction 'As Mysterious as Love' by Marina Cantacuzino. It delves into the complexities and contradictions that underlie the concept of forgiveness. Whatever it is, it's not simple or static; yet it can have enormous restorative power.
Highly recommended.
The highlight for me is the brilliant extended introduction 'As Mysterious as Love' by Marina Cantacuzino. It delves into the complexities and contradictions that underlie the concept of forgiveness. Whatever it is, it's not simple or static; yet it can have enormous restorative power.
Highly recommended.
February 12, 2017
This book not only introduced me to an initiative for healing, but also demonstrated the strength and courage required to forgive, how fluid and ever-evolving the concept of forgiveness truly is and the empowerment, peace and emotional freedom that can occur when an individual decides to not be held hostage by their anger or hatred. I couldn't recommend this book highly enough!
April 26, 2015
An assortment of individual stories of pain and the effects of forgiveness on those individuals. I was concerned that the stories would feel preachy but they most did not. How individuals arrive at the point of forgiveness was valued and emphasized. It was inspiring.
October 16, 2015
the stories are interesting, but much too short! People from around the world tell their stories of forgiveness, makes it sound too easy sometimes. That's why I think it'd benefit from more info.
November 27, 2015
Collection of stories of people and their experience with forgiveness. Would make for helpful discussions in any class related to restorative justice, reconciliation, forgiveness.
November 12, 2016
This is an amazing book that reminds you how important forgiveness is.
October 19, 2017
Powerful book...
October 12, 2017
The Forgiveness Project: Stories for a Vengeful Age by Marina Cantacuzino, and published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers, is a collection of thought-provoking real life stories that will convey the powerful message of forgiveness. While the book in itself is not a self-help book, it is one of the best that will enable readers to confront their own sense of bitterness lying deep beneath their souls, like a cancer eating their vital parts away.
Story after story, you read about people who have been grievously hurt but have found the strength and courage to forgive those who have wronged them. The stories are inspiring, and many of them won't simply go away even long after the book is gone. As the author put it, "True greatness is found in humility and compassion"and not resentment and bitterness which many of us carry inside.
One of the most powerful stories is that of Robi Damelin of Israel. In March 2002 her son David was shot by a sniper. David was 28 years old. Her reaction was surprising. She said, Ï saw then that I had a choice about what to do with my pain - to invest it in revenge or try to think creatively." I strongly recommend this book.
Story after story, you read about people who have been grievously hurt but have found the strength and courage to forgive those who have wronged them. The stories are inspiring, and many of them won't simply go away even long after the book is gone. As the author put it, "True greatness is found in humility and compassion"and not resentment and bitterness which many of us carry inside.
One of the most powerful stories is that of Robi Damelin of Israel. In March 2002 her son David was shot by a sniper. David was 28 years old. Her reaction was surprising. She said, Ï saw then that I had a choice about what to do with my pain - to invest it in revenge or try to think creatively." I strongly recommend this book.
February 23, 2022
The forgiveness project is the silver lining for humanity, in a vengeful world where we often hear cries of 'Us versus Them', people killing each other at the drop of the hat. From my personal experience, coming from the city of Delhi, where there are increasing cases of road-rage everyday, reading this book felt really different. It felt like the stories are from another world and another time. Especially, when you hear stories of ex-IDF soldiers working together with Palestinians to bring about a change in people's thought process. Stories of white supremacists transforming themselves after taking look at the other side of truth(sometimes after seeing rage in their own kids).
I recalled reading somewhere that a primary teacher did this experiment in an American school, differentiate against blue-eyed and towards non-blue eyed students. Continuing this for a day, she reversed the roles very next day i.e. differentiate against no-blue eyed and blue-eyed.
Students had been jolted out of this us vs them mentality in their school!
Forgiveness seems to be a panacea, this could be a mandated reading at all schools across the world.
I recalled reading somewhere that a primary teacher did this experiment in an American school, differentiate against blue-eyed and towards non-blue eyed students. Continuing this for a day, she reversed the roles very next day i.e. differentiate against no-blue eyed and blue-eyed.
Students had been jolted out of this us vs them mentality in their school!
Forgiveness seems to be a panacea, this could be a mandated reading at all schools across the world.
April 1, 2023
Flew through this! Fastest I’ve read a book in ages! I was given this when I worked for the national probation service in the U.K. where hey we’re given to offenders to read. None of them ever read it and having read it I think it’s ridiculous expecting them to. Many offenders are illiterate and many who aren’t are not likely to read the way this is written it’s far to educational and putting it simplistically ‘posh’ in the way it’s written!
That said once it got to the actual stories of those who have forgiven it was awesome! Struggled upto that point if I’m honest and very nearly gave up but once o reached the stories I was glued!
Very thought provoking and I would agree that people dehumanise others that then allows them to hate!
I worked in a prison with murderers and I was the opposite always struggled to put the crime to the person because the crimes were like something from a horror movie but I usually just saw a man in front of me. Maybe a funny man or a gym bunny or a helpful man but rarely a monster.
It really is worth reading for anyone but certainly if you struggle with holding grudges!
That said once it got to the actual stories of those who have forgiven it was awesome! Struggled upto that point if I’m honest and very nearly gave up but once o reached the stories I was glued!
Very thought provoking and I would agree that people dehumanise others that then allows them to hate!
I worked in a prison with murderers and I was the opposite always struggled to put the crime to the person because the crimes were like something from a horror movie but I usually just saw a man in front of me. Maybe a funny man or a gym bunny or a helpful man but rarely a monster.
It really is worth reading for anyone but certainly if you struggle with holding grudges!
April 28, 2018
A series of interview essays with people who have endured unspeakable acts committed against themselves or people close to them, and the belief that forgiveness is a necessary step in healing and moving forward to a fuller life. They are not espousing total forgiveness, but rather they use the word "forgiveness" to cover the cognitive sense that we as human all carry the potential to commit evil acts. Once again, Martin Amis' cousin Lucy appears, her sad story still resonating forty years later.
There was an interesting quote from Shakespeare's "King Lear" that caught my attention. The author is talking about how people in their twisted minds can be hell-bent on cruelty "...what Shakespeare describes as "ruined pieces of nature." (King Lear, Act 4, Scene 6.) Once again. How perfect. "Ruined pieces of nature."
There was an interesting quote from Shakespeare's "King Lear" that caught my attention. The author is talking about how people in their twisted minds can be hell-bent on cruelty "...what Shakespeare describes as "ruined pieces of nature." (King Lear, Act 4, Scene 6.) Once again. How perfect. "Ruined pieces of nature."
July 24, 2022
There are many reasons, especially in the early 2020s, to give up and despair of the nature and destiny of humankind.
This book is documentation of what happens when people refuse to give up, refuse to be overwhelmed and crushed by the evil we as humans do to each other.
We are better than our worst selves. We are better than our daily headines.
Forgiveness, like love, or even like fear and hatred, is immensely complicated.
And like love, and fear, forgiveness is often begun and never finished.
If you want to meet harrowing - and beautiful - and non-dogmatic - portrayals of the best, most beautiful, and most tragic, human beings can be, this book is for you....
This book is documentation of what happens when people refuse to give up, refuse to be overwhelmed and crushed by the evil we as humans do to each other.
We are better than our worst selves. We are better than our daily headines.
Forgiveness, like love, or even like fear and hatred, is immensely complicated.
And like love, and fear, forgiveness is often begun and never finished.
If you want to meet harrowing - and beautiful - and non-dogmatic - portrayals of the best, most beautiful, and most tragic, human beings can be, this book is for you....
February 6, 2020
Three stars for the introduction and five stars for the rest of the book. The introduction was okay, but far too long. Could have been said in less words. The stories about forgiveness and not hating people were inspirational. Fortunately I have never experienced such painful experiences as described in this book, never had to forgive such big things, but it is really inspiring to hear about them. I would recommend this book.
January 28, 2019
This book was critical for pushing me to reflect and heal through learning about the stories of others. It’s not a book that you’re going to walk away from saying, “wow - the writing itself was amazing.” Instead, I leave this book digesting the stories themselves, reflecting on my own pain and it’s impact on me.
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