Seasons of Waiting: Walking by Faith When Dreams Are Delayed

by Betsy Childs Howard

We’re all waiting for something. It might be a spouse or a baby. It might be healing or a home. Regardless of what we're waiting for, it’s easy to feel discontent when things aren’t going as planned and our dreams are delayed―especially when questions of “Why?” and “How long?” remain unanswered. God uses seasons of waiting to teach us patience and make us more like himself. But sanctification is not the only purpose God has in mind. When we wait faithfully with unmet longings, we become a powerful picture of the bride of Christ waiting for the day when he returns and God’s kingdom reigns. Published in partnership with the Gospel Coalition.

Genres: Christian, Nonfiction, Christian Living, Christianity, Faith, Theology, Christian Non Fiction

128 pages, Paperback

First published May 31, 2016

About the author

Betsy Childs Howard is an editor for the Gospel Coalition. She is married to Bernard (Nick) Howard and lives with her family in Birmingham, Alabama.

Reviews

[Jeanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

He, the Giver, longs to give Himself and to satisfy the soul with His goodness. It is just for this reason that He often withholds the gifts, and that the time of waiting is made so long. He is constantly seeking to win the heart of His child for Himself.

It is in the waiting I can reflect my heart and tune it to God's. A time to be in the word and prayer. A time to gather friends, family, church to pray with me. It is a time to see what my heart is really made of. The Lord knows our heart can lose hope when we wait. "Hope deferred makes the heart sick." Proverbs 13:12. It can be easier to stop hoping than to have your heart hurt. This is the passive the way (the way many times I go) but there is a better way. Waiting can expose what we worship. We can make waiting about worshipping the Living God.

Howard takes several stories that we may know or have experienced. The waiting for a child, a husband, or a health issue. Each of these issues are issues that have been already lived in the word of God to direct us to worship God.

Some of the quotes I found inspiring.

God gives us material for sacrifice. Sometimes the sacrifice makes little sense to others.

Grieving at the brokenness of this world points beyond to the life to come. If all our desires were satisfied here, why would we want Christ to return and establish his Kingdom?

It is not beyond God's power to tell his story through you. It is only by digging deeply into God's story that we can hope to understand our own.

The lessons learned in waiting is eternal.
You will cherish the discipline of waiting and find it an opportunity to worship and know that God is God.

A Special Thank you to Crossway and Netgalley for the ARC and the opportunity to post an honest review.

[Meggie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This little book about waiting probably has something for every woman. Most women (and men) are in a season of waiting, will have to wait for something, or are walking with someone who is waiting. Howard writes from the other side of a 10 year wait for a husband. She writes with honesty, encouragement and truth. I liked how she mixed stories of close friends who have waited with scripture with writings of wise faith forefathers. There are many little insights that I found helpful for my own waiting as well as how to encourage someone in the midst of waiting. This is a short, easily digestible book. While not incredibly deep theologically, I found it more real and better written than other bloggers-turned-authors.

[Hannah Reeves · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good, helpful short book that will be easy to review throughout life. Some favorite quotes:

pg. 34 Whenever I was able to see beyond my own loneliness to someone else's, God would begin to work. When I focused on a need that wasn't my own, the pain of being alone would start to subside. Someone who lives with unmet desires is uniquely able to identify with and comfort others who live with unmet desires, even if their longings are of a different sort. If we wait to reach out to others from a position of fullness, we will never do it. If, on the other hand, we love others out of our own emptiness, we will--paradoxically--find we have an abundance of love to give.

pg. 42 The people of Israel were not meant to give up on God's covenant--to grieve and move on--but to keep hoping in faith, even though keeping hope alive could be painful.

pg. 47 But just because a spiritual child seems less real to us than a biological or adopted child does not make it true. When we exalt the earthly over the eternal, we favor the shadow over the thing it represents. While the object itself may be out of your view and thus intangible, it is in fact every bit as real as its shadow.
Our minds are conditioned to believe that what is most real is that which can be seen and touched. The Bible presents a very different framework for reality. Paul writes, " For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal" (1 Cor. 4:18b). As Christians, we are those who hope for what we do not see (Rom 8:24). While it may be hard to imagine gleaning the same satisfaction by having spiritual offspring, I've no doubt that on the other side of eternity, your joy will be so complete that you won't feel even a hint of wistfulness for experiences you missed in this life.

pg. 48 Your children need to see the family of God as their true family, and you can encourage this by investing in the lives of others.

pg. 62-63 We naturally assume that if God is going to use us, it will be through an active life characterized by fulfilling work and ministry and a busy life. But God may choose a different path that is equally necessary for his kingdom and shows his power through our powerlessness.
As you wait, keep praying for healing, but pray also for God's strength to be perfected in your weakness as long as he withholds health. There is no body so broken that it cannot be offered to God as a living sacrifice, and there is no arm too feeble to wield the sword of the Spirit.

[Anna McLain · Rating 5 out of 5]

I went into this book seeking some sort of remedy for my own season of waiting but found myself encouraged in greater abundance than expected. So often, Christians try to explain away unmet desires or deep suffering by implying that “God is just teaching you a lesson” or “you must reorient you heart in order to get what you want” or “God will just take away your desires if what you want is not in his will.” This book debunked each of those lies and I am grateful.

Howard focuses on the biblical and godly tension that “waiting well” creates. No, we should not idolize whatever we desire… however, this does not mean that we should not cry out to God in earnest desperation that he meet our desire. We must cry out to him, while also waiting on him and acknowledging that what we’re really waiting on is Jesus himself.

She gives 5 real-life examples of waiting and I found each to minister to my spirit, even if that wasn’t the specific season I was in. If you’re a believer who is waiting for something in this life, we can relate because we are both ultimately waiting for our bridegroom to return and claim us. Whether or not our desires are met on earth, God promises that they will be in heaven. Therefore, as Christians, we are all always waiting in hope.

“It is in the absence of God’s gifts that I learn the Giver himself is the greatest gift of all…. If Jesus is your hope, all your dreams will be fulfilled on that day.”

[Rebecca Grace ✨ · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! It is jam packed with so much wisdom! It spoke to me in so many ways in the season of waiting that I am going through, and it encouraged me over and over. I highly recommend it for any Christian women! I'm literally bringing my copy to my friend TONIGHT lol 😂

[Shannon McGarvey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short, encouraging book. Some of her theology is iffy (she writes for TGC) but it only is a passing thought and not part of the meat of the book. She talks about waiting for marriage, children, health, a home, and a prodigal loved one.

[Mcmoonen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a must-read! God may not change your situation, or change it in the timing or the way that you would choose, but He does provide grace, one day at a time. And the purpose in our wait is for His glory and for our good :-)

[Emily Waits (emilylovesreading_) · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book! Convicting and encouraging. :)

[Julia · Rating 5 out of 5]

My CS and I read this book in our 1-1s this semester, incredibly good. Written by a woman who got married in her 30s, and the way she talks abt waiting for a husband is so good and helpful as a single girl. And it was great to hear abt other kinds of waiting, and how nothing is going to satisfy on Earth. We’re always going to be waiting on something, and how it’s so easy to wish for God’s gifts more than God Himself, and I was so struck by that. It’s so true!

What is it that you’re waiting on? Is it God’s gifts to you? Or is it the day that Jesus comes back and makes all things new? We know deep down what the correct answer is.

[Chris Duncan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Didn’t realize this was mainly written for women but was so good to read. Had so many good lines that I will be going back to, specifically about singleness. Something beautiful she kept pointing out about the seasons of waiting that we find ourselves in is that they’re not just about our own sanctification. The way we wait can actually minister to those around us and point them to Jesus. God is always at work in our waiting for ourselves and for others.

Lastly shoutout Betsy for going to Beeson Divinity School, got me excited for class starting next week.

[Sharon Hall · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finally, a book which allows for godly grief with hope, rather than flatly and narrowly preaching contentment. Such a refreshing, God-honouring read.

[Chelsea Crotser · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you haven’t read this book-go and get it! It is a worthwhile read! Betsy is so good at writing in a way that gets to the heart of the issue with real stories that are relatable and true! I loved how it was an easy read with so much theological truth about how we are supposed to act in times of waiting! You may think that there is nothing you are currently waiting for, but as Christians we are all awaiting the day when we will be reunited with our Saviour for eternity!

[Susannah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wonderful - a book that's been forged in pain and is all the more full of pastoral wisdom for it. Reflections on Israel's time in the wilderness and its implications for the way we wait today were especially helpful.

[Heather King · Rating 3 out of 5]

Waiting is one thing most Christians have experienced before, and something most of us complain about. Waiting stretches us. It tests faith and reveals character. It shows whether we deep-down trust God or not. And, it’s usually uncomfortable. I’ve been through my own long waits for provision and fulfilled promises before, so I was excited to read Seasons of Waiting by Betsy Childs Howard.

Overall, I felt her outlook on waiting offered a new, big-picture perspective. She argues that what we wait for in the here-and-now illustrates how all of creation longed for a Savior and how we are all still longing for the return of Christ. This made me realize how my own waiting means far more than just character-building or faith-growing in my own life. I wait with creation. I wait with all humanity. It helps me to pray in a new way and tap into a greater longing for God Himself rather than just whatever I’ve been seeking.

After an initial introduction to the greater context of waiting, Howard then offers a series of chapters on specific things many people wait a long time for: Marriage, Children, Healing, a Home. This section of the book was, to me, okay. I felt disappointed in the content because those aren’t really how I’m finding myself waiting. It appears that this book was launched after an article the author wrote for The Gospel Coalition on being, at that time, a single Christian woman. But when she transferred that to book form, it felt too audience-specific. Howard does make attempts to broaden the audience in each chapter, reminding us that those waiting for a human husband represent the bride waiting for the return of Christ. This was mildly helpful, but still left me wanting more.

At only 98 pages, this book ended up far shorter than I expected and didn’t really delve into the greater spiritual lessons on waiting that I wanted. I didn’t need to read about specific waiting scenarios. I wanted to follow the journey of those who waited in Scripture. I wanted to know what to do in the waiting, how to pray in the waiting, how to serve others in the waiting, how to be content in the waiting, and the like. To me, the book could have replaced the middle content with much deeper lessons on a subject we all need to learn more about since we’ve all been in a season of waiting before (or are in a season like that now). Of course, for others who are waiting for marriage, or children, etc., this book may feel particularly relevant and helpful.

I received this book free from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review and the opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Howard discusses several different scenarios in which women, in particular, commonly find themselves waiting for an indefinite period of time: waiting for a husband, for a child, for healing, for a home, and for a “prodigal” loved one. In each chapter, besides sharing stories from her own and others’ lives, Howard dwells on a scriptural example of a type of waiting and then suggests ways in which a given type serves as an emblem of our common longing for Christ. She shows how all our waiting ultimately causes us to feel less at home in this world as we yearn toward our eternal home.

A book like this could easily come off as trite. Howard never glosses over the pain of waiting, however, or the fact that we might never receive earthly fulfillment of our longings. I also appreciated her point that, “…[A] persistent longing does not mean that you are indulging in sinful discontentment.” Certainly, someone facing years of undesired singleness, infertility, or chronic illness may face temptations to bitterness and doubt. But grief and contentment are not incompatible—Hannah poured out her sorrow before the Lord, and we are invited to do the same in faith.

One of the things I appreciated so much was the community/churchly orientation of this book. Howard consistently emphasizes that women need the encouragement of other women at different stages of life, who are facing or who have undergone different seasons of waiting. The nature of that waiting doesn’t have to be identical in order for women to point one another to Christ. As she writes in a convicting passage, “Someone who lives with unmet desires is uniquely able to identify with and comfort others who live with unmet desires, even if their longings are of a different sort. If we wait to reach out to others from a position of fullness, we will never do it. If, on the other hand, we love others out of our own emptiness, we will—paradoxically—find we have an abundance of love to give.”

One of the purposes of waiting is, of course, our personal sanctification. But Howard also discusses how seasons of waiting are opportunities to embody the gospel story and to portray a kingdom parable before the world and the church. That is, waiting is not just for our own spiritual benefit. Stories of waiting deepen our affection for Christ and refine our appetite for the joys of eternity. This invites believers to share their stories with one another, and to give a reason for their hope to their unbelieving neighbors. Seasons of waiting, then—as painful as they are, and as little as we desire them in themselves—should free us to love our Savior and one another more deeply than we could do otherwise.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Though he slay me, I will hope in him” (Job 13:15a).

This short yet richly-filled book brings so much encouragement and wisdom to any who are waiting for something in this life. Her overall exhortation is to wait well in trials so that you can tell God’s story in your life and bring him great glory.

In each section, she picks a topic most people have great longing to be satisfied in (a husband, a child, healing, etc) and relates it to our root need of being satisfied by Christ in that particular way-our bridegroom, our heavenly home, our glorified bodies. I leave this book feeling encouraged to “wait well” by keeping my eyes fixed on Christ’s promises and recognizing that anything that does get satisfied on this earth is just a foretaste of the glory to come.

[Katie Heroux · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book had some good insights, but was inconsistent. The ideas about waiting even when you don't receive what you are waiting for needed to be further developed. Her examples skewed too much towards waiting for a little bit, but ultimately having your prayers answered. I think Childs Howard would have benefitted from a few more years of life experience before writing this book.

[Gabriel · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the free weekly ebook giveaways by TGC this summer - it succintly explains the theological significance of waiting and how can we do it. The author delves into very different life scenarios (with appropriate references to biblical characters and their corresponding experiences), and does well to make obvious the running theme of waiting well for a lifetime.

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

An incredibly hope-filled book. I was challenged by every word. So grateful for this book! Our lives are a parable. God is working in our waiting. All of our waiting points to our waiting for Jesus Christ to return.

[Hamida Massaquoi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short and encouraging book that gives spiritual guidance for navigating the challenges and uncertainties of waiting.
I highlighted so many great quotes.

‘Both the waiting and the end of the waiting tell God’s story. If you hope in God though your dream is unfulfilled, you walk by faith and not by sight. If you praise God when your dream comes true and you look beyond that dream to an even better fulfillment, you show yourself to be a citizen of heaven.’ (p.103)

[Allie Fullerton (thelightfilledreader) · Rating 5 out of 5]

A simple but profound and honest book about many different waiting situations we may be in. Howard tackles individual situations with love, truth, and empathy, and in the process gives us a theology of waiting. Our waiting points us to our ultimate waiting for to be reunited with Jesus in Heaven.

[RWaggoner · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short but thoughtful book about “waiting well” in the disappointments of life. Appreciated her focus on Heaven and fulfillment in Christ without sounding “preachy”. Wish there had been other sides of the issues presented. Also think a study guide would be helpful as she can’t possibly cover all that needs to be said in such a brief volume.

[Kathryn · Rating 4 out of 5]

“In retrospect, we can hear the loveliness of the song, even though it was played in a minor key.” - a favorite quote

A short book, could be read in an afternoon so I would recommend it to anyone- although it is more geared to women. Each chapter was focused towards a different type of waiting- for a spouse, a child, a home, etc so although not each chapter may be relatable to each reader, overall it was a well written book full of encouragements and challenges.

[Elizabeth Aucoin · Rating 4 out of 5]

*read 1/2-3/4's (pertinent sections only)
Wonderful book for everyone, good to think about what we are waiting for whether that is an easy answer or not. Picked this book up when waiting for a new job, but it was extremely beneficial to also read about waiting for marriage (would recommend for the single ladies). But even more of a beautiful reminder that we are all waiting for eternity.

[Hollie Tucker · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such a good book to comfort women in nearly every season of waiting. This is also a great means of encouraging outreach and community amongst women as we all realize that we are waiting for and will keep waiting for something until we are in glory forever.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful!

Loved it! I wasn't sure how much benefit I would receive from this book because I am at peace with waiting in my situation right now. But there are so many things this applies to. I HIGHLY recommend this book if you are waiting for any thing in your life.

[Gareth Davies · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really helpful book about waiting well- even for things that may never come. It urges us to keep our eyes on Christ whatever our circumstances.

[Audrey Moss · Rating 5 out of 5]

The best book I’ve read so far for truths on singleness (and that’s just the first topic she covers!). Howard provides readers with tangible and practical ways to think through their waiting that urge us to cling to the hope of Jesus’ return. I plan to reread this every year. Highly recommend.

[Sarah Redmond · Rating 3 out of 5]

Made for a good discussion group book with housemates. Simple and convicting, yet not complicated about it.

[Abby · Rating 4 out of 5]

The waiting seasons of life often feel reminiscent of cold and long winters that you feel there is no end to. Many writers have tried to capture this painful process, but I feel Howard has written very realistically and honestly about how hard waiting is, and also how Jesus sustains us while we wait. I loved how the author took us through a tour of different schools of waiting, and how waiting for these earthly longings are reminiscent of us all waiting for our ultimate bridegroom, Christ. The earlier, there is no guarantee that they will be fulfilled, but the latter, we can definitely look forward to - with much certainty, hope and rest.