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Unashamed: Healing Our Brokenness and Finding Freedom from Shame
Shame is everywhere.
Whether related to relationships, body image, work, or a secret sin, we all experience shame. While shame manifests itself in fear, broken relationships, and regret, it ultimately points us to our fundamental need as fallen human beings: redemption.
Shame never disappears in solitude, and Heather Davis Nelson invites us to not only be healed of our own shame but also be a part of healing for others. She shines the life-giving light of the gospel on the things that leave us feeling worthless and rejected, giving us courage us to walk out of shame's shadows and offering hope for our bondage to brokenness. Through the gospel, we discover the only real and lasting antidote to shame: exchanging our shame for the righteousness of Christ alongside others on this same journey.
Whether related to relationships, body image, work, or a secret sin, we all experience shame. While shame manifests itself in fear, broken relationships, and regret, it ultimately points us to our fundamental need as fallen human beings: redemption.
Shame never disappears in solitude, and Heather Davis Nelson invites us to not only be healed of our own shame but also be a part of healing for others. She shines the life-giving light of the gospel on the things that leave us feeling worthless and rejected, giving us courage us to walk out of shame's shadows and offering hope for our bondage to brokenness. Through the gospel, we discover the only real and lasting antidote to shame: exchanging our shame for the righteousness of Christ alongside others on this same journey.
192 pages, Paperback
First published June 30, 2016
39 people are currently reading
423 people want to read
About the author
Heather Davis Nelson
2 books9 followersHeather Davis Nelson (MA, Westminster Theological Seminary) is a writer, counselor, and speaker. Heather writes regularly at HeatherDavisNelson.com and has been a featured writer at the Gospel Coalition, as well as a contributing author to the Journal of Biblical Counseling. She and her husband are parents to twin daughters and live in southeastern Virginia. She is the author of Unashamed: Healing Our Brokenness and Finding Freedom from Shame.
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April 8, 2017
Will you dare to look at the places in your life that are tainted with shame and bring them into the light of Jesus’s life, death, and resurrection for you? Avoiding shame will not make it go away, but often when we feel alone the freedom from shame can seem unachievable.
Unashamed: Healing Our Brokenness and Finding Freedom from Shame is a helpful book that teaches one the differences between shame and guilt and where one can find freedom.
This is a very personable book. The author covers various topics where shame would appear: body, social, performance, marriage, parenting & the church. Each chapter contains real stories that we can relate to and then encourages us with biblical truths to help. There are discussion question after each chapter to help with reflection.
I recommend this book to all women, because at one point or another we all struggle with shame.
I received this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
QUOTES:
“The best way to fight evil is to proclaim the kingdom of light through our words and actions.”
"Shame tends to resist accepting forgiveness. It wants to think it needs to be earned, or that it has never done quite enough, or that the mistakes or sin or imperfection are too pervasive for forgiveness; therefore, I’m not worthy."
“Fighting against shame moves you out of your lonely bunker of one into vibrant community.”
“Shame always steals joy and limits freedom. Shame binds us in chains that feel unbreakable to realities that seem unchangeable. Jesus frees you in the Spirit of the Lord.”
Unashamed: Healing Our Brokenness and Finding Freedom from Shame is a helpful book that teaches one the differences between shame and guilt and where one can find freedom.
This is a very personable book. The author covers various topics where shame would appear: body, social, performance, marriage, parenting & the church. Each chapter contains real stories that we can relate to and then encourages us with biblical truths to help. There are discussion question after each chapter to help with reflection.
I recommend this book to all women, because at one point or another we all struggle with shame.
I received this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
QUOTES:
“The best way to fight evil is to proclaim the kingdom of light through our words and actions.”
"Shame tends to resist accepting forgiveness. It wants to think it needs to be earned, or that it has never done quite enough, or that the mistakes or sin or imperfection are too pervasive for forgiveness; therefore, I’m not worthy."
“Fighting against shame moves you out of your lonely bunker of one into vibrant community.”
“Shame always steals joy and limits freedom. Shame binds us in chains that feel unbreakable to realities that seem unchangeable. Jesus frees you in the Spirit of the Lord.”
October 5, 2016
After reading the introduction to this book I was quickly excited about the opportunity to read and meditate upon it. I would like to share one excerpt from the introduction that I found encouraging. Heather writes, “through union with Christ you are clothed with honor rather than shame, made part of a community to which you will always belong, and given a kingdom that cannot be taken away.” (p.24) I believe that the author is trying to encourage readers to live in the reality of who we are in Christ. Living in shame falls very short of embracing who we really are, in Christ, loved and forgiven. Another quote that I believe others can relate to, “shame tends to resist accepting forgiveness. It wants to think it needs to be earned or that it has never done quite enough, or that the mistakes or sin or imperfection are too pervasive for forgiveness; therefore I am not worthy.” (p. 45)
Heather begins the book by reminding readers about Adam and Eve, specifically how they were naked and ashamed. God provided a covering for them, covering their shame. She uses this biblical account and others to propel into the heart of the book. Shame is real, but, there is a covering, a cure, Christ. She titles this concept, “the great shame exchange.” (p. 32) She elaborates, “Jesus willingly clothed himself with your dishonor, giving his shame-free identity to you you will be united to him in faith.” (p. 32)
We face the challenge of being real with others. The shame that we carry, that we won’t let go, builds walls and barriers between us and others. She writes about Christ-formed community and the importance of becoming transparent. We fear exclusion and punishment, and that we will not be loved and accepted. (p. 52) I would like to add respect, I believe we also fear that others will not respect us. (Just a note, respect is something that Heather could have included) She reminds readers that perfect love casts out fear. Since we experience this love, we can also practice this same love. (P. 53)
Many people experience shame as a result of how they look, appear to others. Heather explain the many forms that this shame can take. We can become embarrassed of our bodies, we can worship our bodies, and we can even make ourselves sick. I could not relate to this concept. As an adult I have never really been concerned about the way that I look. I suppose as a teenager I may have experienced some low self-esteem. Now, my wife always tells me how handsome that I am, so this is no longer a problem. However, I would like to share what I do struggle with. I am sharing this because I want others to know that I tried to relate to the book in every chapter and concept. Since I started college later in life and I started a new career at age thirty-six, I often feel like I am inferior to other professionals my age. I worry about whether I am smart enough, academic, or experienced enough. Since the mind is part of the body, I have found a way to relate to what Heather is writing.
I read, and listened to the great advice that Heather wrote concerning shame in marriage, and shame-free parenting. These chapters are very insightful. Ironically, I have been married almost twice as long as Heather, and I was a parent much earlier than her, but I learned a great deal. And I was challenged. I would also like to point out that she has gleaned from excellent resources, and within the book I discovered other titles and authors I would like to read. The two chapters on marriage and parenting are worth buying the book; I believe the information is that valuable.
In the last two chapters of the book Heather writes about community/church. I appreciate what she wrote, “Rather than confronting the sins of the outside culture, a shame resisting church focuses more on repenting of its own sins.” (p. 158) I suppose that whoever reads this book will appreciate the book in their own way. I believe Heathers purpose in writing the book is to encourage Christians to live a life free of shame, for Christians to embrace who they are in Jesus Christ. Holding on to shame, whatever type it may be, can only lead to more shame. We can experience shame because of sin, some may live in shame because of abuse. After reading this book, I have learned that it is possible to pass shame on to others. Which is not something that I want to be guilty of.
Each chapter included extensive reflection and discussion questions. The book contains two appendices, Clinical Definition of Body Dysmorphic Disorder and Eating Disorders, and Further resources on Abuse. I have already mentioned Heathers use of helpful resources. I would recommend the book to anyone who is struggling with past sin, whether it is their own, or whether they have been a victim of sin. I would recommend the book to anyone who desires transparency with others (freedom), or anyone who struggles with “fitting in.” I believe the book can be a help, a push in the right direction. Heather gives right encouragement, shares her experience, and presents biblical advice (wisdom). The book also offers some healthy preventive advice with the hope that we will avoid causing shame in the life of others.
In exchange for an honest review Propeller/FlyBy promotions has provided me a copy of this book. I have given an honest review.
Heather begins the book by reminding readers about Adam and Eve, specifically how they were naked and ashamed. God provided a covering for them, covering their shame. She uses this biblical account and others to propel into the heart of the book. Shame is real, but, there is a covering, a cure, Christ. She titles this concept, “the great shame exchange.” (p. 32) She elaborates, “Jesus willingly clothed himself with your dishonor, giving his shame-free identity to you you will be united to him in faith.” (p. 32)
We face the challenge of being real with others. The shame that we carry, that we won’t let go, builds walls and barriers between us and others. She writes about Christ-formed community and the importance of becoming transparent. We fear exclusion and punishment, and that we will not be loved and accepted. (p. 52) I would like to add respect, I believe we also fear that others will not respect us. (Just a note, respect is something that Heather could have included) She reminds readers that perfect love casts out fear. Since we experience this love, we can also practice this same love. (P. 53)
Many people experience shame as a result of how they look, appear to others. Heather explain the many forms that this shame can take. We can become embarrassed of our bodies, we can worship our bodies, and we can even make ourselves sick. I could not relate to this concept. As an adult I have never really been concerned about the way that I look. I suppose as a teenager I may have experienced some low self-esteem. Now, my wife always tells me how handsome that I am, so this is no longer a problem. However, I would like to share what I do struggle with. I am sharing this because I want others to know that I tried to relate to the book in every chapter and concept. Since I started college later in life and I started a new career at age thirty-six, I often feel like I am inferior to other professionals my age. I worry about whether I am smart enough, academic, or experienced enough. Since the mind is part of the body, I have found a way to relate to what Heather is writing.
I read, and listened to the great advice that Heather wrote concerning shame in marriage, and shame-free parenting. These chapters are very insightful. Ironically, I have been married almost twice as long as Heather, and I was a parent much earlier than her, but I learned a great deal. And I was challenged. I would also like to point out that she has gleaned from excellent resources, and within the book I discovered other titles and authors I would like to read. The two chapters on marriage and parenting are worth buying the book; I believe the information is that valuable.
In the last two chapters of the book Heather writes about community/church. I appreciate what she wrote, “Rather than confronting the sins of the outside culture, a shame resisting church focuses more on repenting of its own sins.” (p. 158) I suppose that whoever reads this book will appreciate the book in their own way. I believe Heathers purpose in writing the book is to encourage Christians to live a life free of shame, for Christians to embrace who they are in Jesus Christ. Holding on to shame, whatever type it may be, can only lead to more shame. We can experience shame because of sin, some may live in shame because of abuse. After reading this book, I have learned that it is possible to pass shame on to others. Which is not something that I want to be guilty of.
Each chapter included extensive reflection and discussion questions. The book contains two appendices, Clinical Definition of Body Dysmorphic Disorder and Eating Disorders, and Further resources on Abuse. I have already mentioned Heathers use of helpful resources. I would recommend the book to anyone who is struggling with past sin, whether it is their own, or whether they have been a victim of sin. I would recommend the book to anyone who desires transparency with others (freedom), or anyone who struggles with “fitting in.” I believe the book can be a help, a push in the right direction. Heather gives right encouragement, shares her experience, and presents biblical advice (wisdom). The book also offers some healthy preventive advice with the hope that we will avoid causing shame in the life of others.
In exchange for an honest review Propeller/FlyBy promotions has provided me a copy of this book. I have given an honest review.
August 11, 2016
To be stuck in shame is to be unable to receive and experience God's grace.
Everyone deals with shame in one regard or another. We can shame others to manipulate and to discipline depending on what relationship we have. The purpose of this study is to identify shame and how it keeps those in bondage. I have to interject one thought that was not dealt with in this study and that is there is a purpose to shame. Shame is not meant to keep us in isolation which the author is adamant about but to drive us to Christ so that in our shame we are covered. Shame allows us to know that something is wrong. However, being sinners, shame can be a powerful tool to oppress and keep you from the grace of God.
One of the many strengths of this study is for us to be intentional about not shaming others. Like our spouse, our children, and our church community. The affects and the determents of shame, can hinder relationships of joy and love. Another strength is our battle to escape the shame that puts in us isolation instead of the arms of community. Each chapter of this read points to Community and to Christ to overcome shame that many times paralyzes from knowing God and His will for you. The issue of shame is a must read for all Christians to understand and to extend grace.
A Special Thank You to Crossway Books and Netgalley for the ARC and the opportunity to post an honest review.
Everyone deals with shame in one regard or another. We can shame others to manipulate and to discipline depending on what relationship we have. The purpose of this study is to identify shame and how it keeps those in bondage. I have to interject one thought that was not dealt with in this study and that is there is a purpose to shame. Shame is not meant to keep us in isolation which the author is adamant about but to drive us to Christ so that in our shame we are covered. Shame allows us to know that something is wrong. However, being sinners, shame can be a powerful tool to oppress and keep you from the grace of God.
One of the many strengths of this study is for us to be intentional about not shaming others. Like our spouse, our children, and our church community. The affects and the determents of shame, can hinder relationships of joy and love. Another strength is our battle to escape the shame that puts in us isolation instead of the arms of community. Each chapter of this read points to Community and to Christ to overcome shame that many times paralyzes from knowing God and His will for you. The issue of shame is a must read for all Christians to understand and to extend grace.
A Special Thank You to Crossway Books and Netgalley for the ARC and the opportunity to post an honest review.
May 24, 2017
This was an incredible book about a topic many people seem to want to face: shame. Yet it's so ominously there in everything we do and say. It leads to depression, anxiety, and much internal pain, it's the fear of being judged, and judging others; ignoring it doesn't make it go away. Nelson addresses this issue, explaining what shame it and the only possible way for us to overcome it.
I would strongly suggest that everyone, especially teenagers, read this book (though it does, respectfully, mention things like human trafficking and things that are for more mature minds).
The best part of the book is that it brings so much hope and helps you to focus more clearly on the gospel, humbling yourself and understanding you cannot heal your own hurt.
With a strong Biblical basis, Nelson helps to clarify the lies of shame to be just that: shame.
I would strongly suggest that everyone, especially teenagers, read this book (though it does, respectfully, mention things like human trafficking and things that are for more mature minds).
The best part of the book is that it brings so much hope and helps you to focus more clearly on the gospel, humbling yourself and understanding you cannot heal your own hurt.
With a strong Biblical basis, Nelson helps to clarify the lies of shame to be just that: shame.
August 27, 2016
Is Unashamed by Heather Davis Nelson a must-read? I'm tempted to say yes. I think the author is right in saying that everyone experiences shame in one way or another. In the book, she defines shame, differentiating between shame and guilt. She explores and discusses various types of shame. She openly talks about how past shame can be burdening down our lives and contributing to our ongoing sense of shame now. In other words, you can't bury your shame deep enough that it will stop affecting you. Ignoring it won't cure it. And she does this all through a biblical perspective. That's what I appreciate most. That's what I need--some big doses of the gospel. Jesus is front and center in this one, right where he belongs. And this book will likely touch many lives because of how truthful and forthcoming it is. It goes uncomfortable places, to be sure, it asks you to acknowledge things that you perhaps would like to keep hidden and buried forever. But there is the reminder that you are not alone, that you never have to be alone again. That shame--past, present, or future--is not your identity.
This is a book I think deserves to be read at least two or three times. Perhaps not every single chapter. But selectively. I think it would be a great book to read with a friend or in a group setting.
Table of Contents:
Introduction: Shame: Everyone Has It
Exchanging Shame for Beauty
Living Shamelessly Through Christ-Formed Community
Clothed in Christ: Body Shame
United to Christ: Social Shame
Free in Christ: Performance Shame
Response to Shame
Shame in Marriage
Shame-Free Parenting
Shame and the Church
Conclusion: A Shame-Free Destiny
Quotes:
This is a book I think deserves to be read at least two or three times. Perhaps not every single chapter. But selectively. I think it would be a great book to read with a friend or in a group setting.
Table of Contents:
Introduction: Shame: Everyone Has It
Exchanging Shame for Beauty
Living Shamelessly Through Christ-Formed Community
Clothed in Christ: Body Shame
United to Christ: Social Shame
Free in Christ: Performance Shame
Response to Shame
Shame in Marriage
Shame-Free Parenting
Shame and the Church
Conclusion: A Shame-Free Destiny
Quotes:
Poor theology always leads to sinful practice, and sinful living is always rooted in poor theology--misunderstanding and misbelieving who God is, what the Bible teaches, and who Christians are.
I live my life according to a never-ending shame narrative. It must be interrupted by a better, truer narrative: a story that we've been telling alongside the stories of shame--the story of God's goodness, of his pursuit of wayward and shafe-filled and shaming people.
When we grow weary of fighting against shame, we often let it take up full residence in our lives, putting down roots into our identity so that we see ourselves as nothing but shameful.
We don't see shame as foreign, but as inherent to us... Shame is a foreign body. We are not to grow comfortable with our shame, or adapt to it through hiding and blaming. Shame's ultimate origin is no less dark than the Accuser of our souls himself, Satan.
We are to rewrite our shame stories moment by moment.
As someone created in the image of God and for the purpose of reflecting who God is, I am created to live before God alone. By his judgment, I stand or fall. And because my life is hidden with Christ, I stand!
Shame thrives in secrecy. It gains momentum in our heads as it spins around and around like a pinball, seizing our thoughts and then our emotions. It tells us to go far away from others, especially God.
We fight shame best when we talk to someone trusted about a shameful feeling, experience, or thought.
Freedom comes as I fix my eyes on Jesus, realizing that the cross is the focal point where my sin is forgiven and my shame is covered.
There was joy set before him, and so I can run freely after him in hope that his joy will also be mine one day.
June 30, 2016
Unashamed was a very good read. I liked how it went over all different types of areas in life you might feel shame (i.e. marriage, parenting, church, body image, etc.). While the topic was deep, it wasn't hard to read and was a quicker non-fiction read at just 192 pages including all the extras at the back of the book.
Unashamed was definitely thought-provoking and there were a couple quotes I felt like highlighting, they were just so good! I felt like the author made a lot of good points. Also, the way the book was written was so personable/friendly and I really liked that!
All in all, Unashamed was a really good read. I recommend it if the subject sounds of interest to you, as I thought it was great.
*Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention/review it on my blog. I was not required to give a positive review, only my honest opinion - which I've done. All thoughts and opinions expressed are my own and I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.*
Unashamed was definitely thought-provoking and there were a couple quotes I felt like highlighting, they were just so good! I felt like the author made a lot of good points. Also, the way the book was written was so personable/friendly and I really liked that!
All in all, Unashamed was a really good read. I recommend it if the subject sounds of interest to you, as I thought it was great.
*Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention/review it on my blog. I was not required to give a positive review, only my honest opinion - which I've done. All thoughts and opinions expressed are my own and I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.*
December 8, 2016
"Unashamed" is an examination of shame and finding healing in Christ. By shame, she means feeling like you aren't good enough or aren't worthy. The author looked primarily at social, body, and performance shame--in finding your value in being accepted by others, in how you look, or in how successful you are.
She also looked at dealing with shame in your marriage relationship, how to parent without shaming your kids, and how the church can do a better job of being a place where people can share their shame struggles and heal. She helps you to identify your shame and it's origins, suggests talking about your struggle with safe friends, and applies the truths from Scripture to help you feel secure in the love God has for you in Christ.
I'm not married, have no children, and I don't struggle with the examples she uses so I didn't feel like this book directly touched upon my struggles. (I'm not bothered by people seeing my house in a lived-in state rather than perfect, I'm content with how I look, and so on.) However, she talks about very common areas of struggle for most people and the advice can apply to all "shame struggle" situations.
I received this ARC as a review copy from the publisher through Amazon Vine.
She also looked at dealing with shame in your marriage relationship, how to parent without shaming your kids, and how the church can do a better job of being a place where people can share their shame struggles and heal. She helps you to identify your shame and it's origins, suggests talking about your struggle with safe friends, and applies the truths from Scripture to help you feel secure in the love God has for you in Christ.
I'm not married, have no children, and I don't struggle with the examples she uses so I didn't feel like this book directly touched upon my struggles. (I'm not bothered by people seeing my house in a lived-in state rather than perfect, I'm content with how I look, and so on.) However, she talks about very common areas of struggle for most people and the advice can apply to all "shame struggle" situations.
I received this ARC as a review copy from the publisher through Amazon Vine.
December 15, 2017
I picked this up at a conference where the author was speaking, and it added a lot of depth to her helpful and freeing comments there. While she's not as stylish a writer as Brene Brown, Nelson filters Brown's insights through a more explicitly Christian (and Calvinist-tinged) lens. What that brings to the table is pretty major--a Christ in you who suffered ultimate shame and rejection and was raised from shame and death to the highest place. That Jesus knows shame intimately, and that He takes it on to transform it ought to make authenticity that much easier in church communities. Shame is not the end of the story, but the beginning of God's work if we come to Him in humility and truth. His power is made perfect in weakness. This is a message the Church in the US especially needs to hear to escape the false gospel of power-mad hyper-nationalism.
June 17, 2016
This was an excellent book, and such a blessing to read. We so easily get lost in feeling inadequate with our looks, our social status, or our performance. Nelson encourages us to look to Christ, who covers us with honor and glory, and not the shame that we so often take instead. We aren't perfect, and we need to embrace that!
March 1, 2022
A very well-written book on a topic that has plagued me for years. It pointed me to biblical truth and the fact that Jesus has taken my shame by his work on the cross. Very good basis of what shame is and how we can deal with it in different areas.
May 15, 2018
I think every women should read this book and they will realize why they act in certain ways and how our past reflects our actions. We should not live in shame any longer but live for Christ.
June 30, 2016
Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy of this book from Propeller Consulting, LLC through FlyBy Promotions in exchange for a honest review.
Unashamed: Healing Our Brokenness and Finding Freedom from Shame is a book that offers both hope and encouragement. It discusses the differences between shame and guilt. The author, Heather Davis Nelson introduces the reader to three different types of shame, and discusses what they may look like and how it may effect our relationships. A closer look is taken into how shame can effect marriage, parenting, and even our relationships at church. There is beautiful scripture referenced, and she also discusses how through the love of Jesus and the Gospel, how we can start the healing process.
Unashamed is a wonderful read, and a book you are not going to want to put down. Each chapter contains knowledge and personal stories or examples, that many of us can relate to. At the end of each chapter, there are a few discussion questions so you can answer these yourself, or it would be fantastic as a small group or book study. At the end of the book are Scripture and General Indexes, as well as Notes for references, and also two Appendixes. One is for references for Body and Eating Disorders, and the other is for references on Abuse.
This book really hit home for me. My husband gave his testimony at church a few weeks ago, and his sister came to show her support. At the end of his testimony, she asked him why he was so hard on himself about his past. I think this is something many of us do, and we are terrified of being exposed or letting our guard down in case someone hurts us. Unashamed poses the thought of what if we are vulnerable enough to let people know the truth about ourselves, and have us all show genuine, Godly love towards each other. Our church embraced my husband's testimony, and many came up to him afterward to let him know about their past and how his testimony gave them peace about their past.
Many of us are dealing with our own battles. Unashamed tells us shame should not be one of them. Through the examples given, we may recognize ourselves, a neighbor, a friend, a spouse, a parent, a child or a co-worker. This is an outstanding book on how to show that person or even yourself, that you or they are worthy of the love of Jesus. If you are looking for an excellent and insightful read this summer, you don't want to miss this book! I give it a 5 out of 5 stars!
This review originally appeared on my blog, Raising Samuels Homeschool on June 30, 2016: http://raisingsamuels.blogspot.com/20...
Unashamed: Healing Our Brokenness and Finding Freedom from Shame is a book that offers both hope and encouragement. It discusses the differences between shame and guilt. The author, Heather Davis Nelson introduces the reader to three different types of shame, and discusses what they may look like and how it may effect our relationships. A closer look is taken into how shame can effect marriage, parenting, and even our relationships at church. There is beautiful scripture referenced, and she also discusses how through the love of Jesus and the Gospel, how we can start the healing process.
Unashamed is a wonderful read, and a book you are not going to want to put down. Each chapter contains knowledge and personal stories or examples, that many of us can relate to. At the end of each chapter, there are a few discussion questions so you can answer these yourself, or it would be fantastic as a small group or book study. At the end of the book are Scripture and General Indexes, as well as Notes for references, and also two Appendixes. One is for references for Body and Eating Disorders, and the other is for references on Abuse.
This book really hit home for me. My husband gave his testimony at church a few weeks ago, and his sister came to show her support. At the end of his testimony, she asked him why he was so hard on himself about his past. I think this is something many of us do, and we are terrified of being exposed or letting our guard down in case someone hurts us. Unashamed poses the thought of what if we are vulnerable enough to let people know the truth about ourselves, and have us all show genuine, Godly love towards each other. Our church embraced my husband's testimony, and many came up to him afterward to let him know about their past and how his testimony gave them peace about their past.
Many of us are dealing with our own battles. Unashamed tells us shame should not be one of them. Through the examples given, we may recognize ourselves, a neighbor, a friend, a spouse, a parent, a child or a co-worker. This is an outstanding book on how to show that person or even yourself, that you or they are worthy of the love of Jesus. If you are looking for an excellent and insightful read this summer, you don't want to miss this book! I give it a 5 out of 5 stars!
This review originally appeared on my blog, Raising Samuels Homeschool on June 30, 2016: http://raisingsamuels.blogspot.com/20...
June 26, 2016
I think we all have broken places inside and that we all have areas of our life that cause us shame. I tend to hold guilt inside and let it built up until I blame myself for all the problems of the world. (Surely I’m not the only one who does this?) So, when I had the opportunity to review Unashamed: Healing Our Brokenness and Finding Freedom From Shame, I thought it was an excellent opportunity for me to consider some issues of shame in my own life and perhaps find a practical plan for healing.
The author, Heather Davis Nelson begins by telling us that everyone has shame. She reminds us that in Christ, we have exchanged our shame for beauty and that we can live shamelessly in our church communities if we consider each other in the correct way. Then, Nelson goes through three common types of shame: body shame, social shame, and performance shame. After this Nelson spends a chapter examining our responses to shame and then, she considers shame in marriage, parenting and in the church.
I found this book to be excellent, I gained much from it. I perhaps most loved her illustration of Tamar saying “Who will cover my shame?” when she is attacked by her brother, and then her reminder that Christ covers our shame. I felt this was such an amazing analogy.
Then, I also was struck by Nelson’s consideration of Adam and Eve. She reminds us that we often hide from our shame and blame others instead of owning up to our own guilt and being exposed before God. She also noted that God didn’t add to their shame but sacrificed for them and covered their shame. I really felt like that was so rich in meaning, especially as I considered how often, as a parent, I have been guilty of shaming my children for their wrongdoing.
Seeing as how shame is a common problem and it’s something that we all suffer from, I think this is a great read for anyone wanting to get rid of shame or to even just understand what shame is and how it affects each of us.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more products or services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention it on my blog. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
The author, Heather Davis Nelson begins by telling us that everyone has shame. She reminds us that in Christ, we have exchanged our shame for beauty and that we can live shamelessly in our church communities if we consider each other in the correct way. Then, Nelson goes through three common types of shame: body shame, social shame, and performance shame. After this Nelson spends a chapter examining our responses to shame and then, she considers shame in marriage, parenting and in the church.
I found this book to be excellent, I gained much from it. I perhaps most loved her illustration of Tamar saying “Who will cover my shame?” when she is attacked by her brother, and then her reminder that Christ covers our shame. I felt this was such an amazing analogy.
Then, I also was struck by Nelson’s consideration of Adam and Eve. She reminds us that we often hide from our shame and blame others instead of owning up to our own guilt and being exposed before God. She also noted that God didn’t add to their shame but sacrificed for them and covered their shame. I really felt like that was so rich in meaning, especially as I considered how often, as a parent, I have been guilty of shaming my children for their wrongdoing.
Seeing as how shame is a common problem and it’s something that we all suffer from, I think this is a great read for anyone wanting to get rid of shame or to even just understand what shame is and how it affects each of us.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more products or services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention it on my blog. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
June 28, 2016
Shame has been around since the garden of Eden. A result of sin, shame isn’t something we can avoid altogether.
With that truth in mind, Nelson pointedly walks readers through several aspects of life in this world to expose how shame is at the heart of so many of human struggles.
Meanwhile, she offers a practical guide for recognizing, facing, and living Biblically with shame. As a Biblical counselor, it’s no surprise that Nelson’s thorough workup of shame is absolutely loaded with Scriptural references and examples.
Nelson explains the different types of shame people experience. Next, she offers guidance for responding to shame in a healthy way. Several chapters then focus on specific areas of shame, such as shame in marriage or in the church.
Though helpful as a whole, each chapter could stand on its own for counseling or study purposes. Other conveniences of Nelson’s Unashamed are the very practical, down to earth tips for addressing shame and reducing the influence shame has on one’s life. The book can at times feel bulky and heavy. However, this topic is relevant.
Through Unashamed, I think many will find themselves freer and more able to walk in confidence just as God made them.
"Disclosure (in accordance with the FTC’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising”): Many thanks to Propeller Consulting, LLC for providing this prize for the giveaway. Choice of winners and opinions are 100% my own and NOT influenced by monetary compensation. I did receive a sample of the product in exchange for this review and post. Only one entrant per mailing address, per giveaway. If you have won a prize from our sponsor Propeller / FlyBy Promotions in the last 30 days, you are not eligible to win. Or if you have won the same prize on another blog, you are not eligible to win it again. Winner is subject to eligibility verification.”
With that truth in mind, Nelson pointedly walks readers through several aspects of life in this world to expose how shame is at the heart of so many of human struggles.
Meanwhile, she offers a practical guide for recognizing, facing, and living Biblically with shame. As a Biblical counselor, it’s no surprise that Nelson’s thorough workup of shame is absolutely loaded with Scriptural references and examples.
Nelson explains the different types of shame people experience. Next, she offers guidance for responding to shame in a healthy way. Several chapters then focus on specific areas of shame, such as shame in marriage or in the church.
Though helpful as a whole, each chapter could stand on its own for counseling or study purposes. Other conveniences of Nelson’s Unashamed are the very practical, down to earth tips for addressing shame and reducing the influence shame has on one’s life. The book can at times feel bulky and heavy. However, this topic is relevant.
Through Unashamed, I think many will find themselves freer and more able to walk in confidence just as God made them.
"Disclosure (in accordance with the FTC’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising”): Many thanks to Propeller Consulting, LLC for providing this prize for the giveaway. Choice of winners and opinions are 100% my own and NOT influenced by monetary compensation. I did receive a sample of the product in exchange for this review and post. Only one entrant per mailing address, per giveaway. If you have won a prize from our sponsor Propeller / FlyBy Promotions in the last 30 days, you are not eligible to win. Or if you have won the same prize on another blog, you are not eligible to win it again. Winner is subject to eligibility verification.”
July 1, 2016
I’m often hesitant to pick up books like Unashamed. Not sure why. Perhaps I’m just not always drawn to them or I just don’t think I’ll find them helpful. But from the beginning of this book, I couldn’t help but examine my own life and see where shame actually does have a grip on me and may be holding me back.
Unashamed is a book that I think I would recommend to any woman to pick up. Shame is one of those things that can be hard to identify but we all deal with. This book helps with that. The topics of the book cover everything from body image to relationships. And the author approaches each topic with sensitivity and caring–in such a way that she comes across as encouraging. There are plenty of scripture and biblical references that support much of what she is saying making this a book that might pair well with devotions or other Bible study. Each chapter is followed with a few questions that are designed for the reader to really consider what the chapter was about, examinging her own life, and to be encouraged.
This is a book that I think would work well in a Women’s Bible Study group or would be just as helpful to be read on one’s own.
**I received a copy of this book from FlyBy Promotions in exchange for my honest review. All opinions expressed are my own.**
Unashamed is a book that I think I would recommend to any woman to pick up. Shame is one of those things that can be hard to identify but we all deal with. This book helps with that. The topics of the book cover everything from body image to relationships. And the author approaches each topic with sensitivity and caring–in such a way that she comes across as encouraging. There are plenty of scripture and biblical references that support much of what she is saying making this a book that might pair well with devotions or other Bible study. Each chapter is followed with a few questions that are designed for the reader to really consider what the chapter was about, examinging her own life, and to be encouraged.
This is a book that I think would work well in a Women’s Bible Study group or would be just as helpful to be read on one’s own.
**I received a copy of this book from FlyBy Promotions in exchange for my honest review. All opinions expressed are my own.**
July 1, 2016
This book had my attention from the moment I read the title of the introduction, which is SHAME: WE ALL HAVE IT. I don't know that I'd ever seen it admitted so openly before, and it definitely made me want to read more.
The author makes it very clear that there is a difference between shame and guilt, and she explains the two fully. Then she goes on to discuss three different types of shame, how they can look, and how they can have an impact on all of our relationships. She concentrates on how shame can impact our marriages, our parenting, and our relationships at church.
The book is filled with Scripture references as well as references to how God's love can heal us if we are willing to let Him work in our lives. Each chapter ends with several questions which are wonderful for personal reflection, or even for a group study. I am going to suggest to my Bible study group that we look into reading this book together in the very near future. :)
I highly recommend this book to anyone who has ever felt shame in their life, and particularly to those who feel alone in their shame.
**I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions are entirely my own.**
The author makes it very clear that there is a difference between shame and guilt, and she explains the two fully. Then she goes on to discuss three different types of shame, how they can look, and how they can have an impact on all of our relationships. She concentrates on how shame can impact our marriages, our parenting, and our relationships at church.
The book is filled with Scripture references as well as references to how God's love can heal us if we are willing to let Him work in our lives. Each chapter ends with several questions which are wonderful for personal reflection, or even for a group study. I am going to suggest to my Bible study group that we look into reading this book together in the very near future. :)
I highly recommend this book to anyone who has ever felt shame in their life, and particularly to those who feel alone in their shame.
**I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions are entirely my own.**
July 3, 2016
Heather Davis Nelson writes of a topic that haunts many women: shame. Mrs. Nelson speaks about the many forms in which shame appears; such as in our relationships, body image, and sin to name a few. She speaks of how shame traps us in condemnation, unforgiveness, and punishing ourselves. She speaks from her own experiences of feeling shame, which maker her very relatable. Mrs. Nelson imparts the tools to letting go of shame and clarifies the difference between shame and guilt.
I would strongly recommend this book to every woman. Shame is such a widespread feeling that impacts so strongly and I feel that Mrs. Nelson’s words of advice, tools to overcoming shame, and message that Jesus Christ is our healer are very important and helpful for women today.
“Disclosure (in accordance with the FTC’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising”): Many thanks to Propeller Consulting, LLC for providing this prize for the giveaway. Choice of winners and opinions are 100% my own and NOT influenced by monetary compensation. I did receive a sample of the product in exchange for this review and post.
I would strongly recommend this book to every woman. Shame is such a widespread feeling that impacts so strongly and I feel that Mrs. Nelson’s words of advice, tools to overcoming shame, and message that Jesus Christ is our healer are very important and helpful for women today.
“Disclosure (in accordance with the FTC’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising”): Many thanks to Propeller Consulting, LLC for providing this prize for the giveaway. Choice of winners and opinions are 100% my own and NOT influenced by monetary compensation. I did receive a sample of the product in exchange for this review and post.
June 18, 2016
This book starts by defining shame and how it is different from guilt, which seems like basic information but is transformative. The author then dives into how shame can impact us in very practical aspects of our life, such as performance, parenting and body image. As a woman in my 30's with two small children, this book has provided strong Biblical based encouragement for me in my struggles with perfectionism in body, parenting and my job. Nelson uses vulnerable personal anecdotes to define her own shame and how God has met her and is transforming her thoughts and actions and ultimately freeing us from our shame. This book is excellent to read by yourself, with your spouse or with a group of women so that you all can embrace your imperfections and shame in community (as she encourages in the book) and all run to Jesus for healing from brokenness.
June 28, 2016
Easy to read book that is helpful with a subject that I have not read about before and not many authors have approached it. Everyone deals with insecurities about not being good enough, pretty enough, thin enough or falling short in what people think of us. The author show us from scripture that Jesus has come to give us freedom from not being good enough to being loved completely by Him. It opened my eyes to some areas that I had experienced and gave me practical biblical help on dealing with the rejection and the pain. I appreciated Heathers vulnerable personal illustrations to help clearly define the subject. I highly recommend this book to everyone because everyone deals with shame at one time or another in their life.
July 2, 2016
If you're dealing with any kind of shame-this is the book you need to invest in. Heather does an amazing job at reminding us about our value in Christ. This book is filled with all the scripture one needs to speak over their life to be free from shame; that may be body image shame, past or current sin shame, or just the flat out lie kind of shame that the enemy uses.
Not only does this book address our own shame-but brings to light the our ability to pass on shame to others. Heather even tackles "shame-free parenting" which is a chapter that I'm planning on reviewing again...and probably again.
Over all-I feel blessed to have this. Unashamed is the guide to "...heal our brokenness and find freedom from shame."
*I received this book in exchange for my honest review*
Not only does this book address our own shame-but brings to light the our ability to pass on shame to others. Heather even tackles "shame-free parenting" which is a chapter that I'm planning on reviewing again...and probably again.
Over all-I feel blessed to have this. Unashamed is the guide to "...heal our brokenness and find freedom from shame."
*I received this book in exchange for my honest review*
September 23, 2016
I got this book through Amazon Vine and while I knew it was a book about shame, I had no idea it was exploring shame from a Christian perspective. I'm not a Christian and I had trouble reading this book because how this author approaches the topic really doesn't work for me. I don't share her beliefs and her solutions wouldn't work with me.
However, I'm giving this book 4 stars, because in fairness to the author, I can see how this book would help a Christian grappling with shame. I also think the author had some valid points to make about shame. So if you're a Christian reading this review I recommend this book. If you're not a Christian, I don't recommend it because it is very context specific to that religion.
However, I'm giving this book 4 stars, because in fairness to the author, I can see how this book would help a Christian grappling with shame. I also think the author had some valid points to make about shame. So if you're a Christian reading this review I recommend this book. If you're not a Christian, I don't recommend it because it is very context specific to that religion.
June 10, 2016
“Unashamed” does a fantastic job helping us better define and understand shame, while offering a hope filled solution to its power over our lives.
I loved Heather’s vivid and beautiful descriptions of the way that Jesus has clothed us and covered our shame. I also particularly appreciated the practical help in the parenting chapter. Heather offers appropriate ways to talk to our children and to practice shame free parenting. As a fellow performance oriented, people pleaser, this book has been a refreshing and life changing read. I can’t wait to share it with friends and family who I know will also benefit from Heather’s practical and Gospel-centered message.
I loved Heather’s vivid and beautiful descriptions of the way that Jesus has clothed us and covered our shame. I also particularly appreciated the practical help in the parenting chapter. Heather offers appropriate ways to talk to our children and to practice shame free parenting. As a fellow performance oriented, people pleaser, this book has been a refreshing and life changing read. I can’t wait to share it with friends and family who I know will also benefit from Heather’s practical and Gospel-centered message.
June 27, 2016
I found this book to be incredibly hopeful in light of difficult parenting issues and the shame that comes with that. Whether it's my own performance-driven shame to appear as the "perfect parent" before others, or the underlying belief that shame will motivate my children to change their behavior, Heather's book does a great job of outlining the freedom in the gospel when it comes to parenting shame. "We use shame in our parenting because we have forgotten that it's not shame of our sin that leads us to repentance, but it's God's kindness that leads us to repentance." I highly recommend this book.
September 18, 2016
This is a beautifully written survey of the ways that the gospel applies specifically to areas of shame. Designed for personal study or group study, I found the reflection questions to be clear and practical. I really appreciated the insights in this book. She gives very practical direction in looking at ones on stories of shame, and then looks at the way being clothed in the righteousness of Christ, union with Christ, and the community of other believers can address these stories.
May 11, 2017
If you are familiar with Brene Brown's writings, Nelson builds from that research to help us understand shame in light of the Gospel. Not as insightful as Brown, but helpful nonetheless as she delves into body shame, performance shame, shame in marriage and parenting...all areas I never thought about, where shame can thrive (I was especially convicted about how I shame my kids). Lots of practical questions and thoughts throughout.
July 7, 2016
I really thought the author did very well with this study. All of us have dealt with shame in our life time. How we deal with it is another issue. Heather Nelson goes through 3 different types of shame, body shame, social shame, and performance shame. There is in depth study of each and I love the scriptures used. This book really makes you think. Great book for a study group.
September 28, 2017
Good primer on the difference between guilt and shame, what the Bible says about it and real stories to illustrate. The author's vulnerability helps draw you in. This is not a clinical book but does have some practical help. I recommend it as a starting point for those wanting to understand the complexity that is personal shame and how to start dealing with it.
August 23, 2016
Fantastic book. Well-written. If you like Brene Brown, Nelson writes similar, but from the perspective of a gospel-focused Christian. The chapter on parenting wrecked me and caused much repentance! A great read for men and women.
January 7, 2017
Gospel-saturated work building on the research of brene brown. Nelson goes one step further and fills in the gaps, rooting our worthiness in imago dei and the redemptive work of Jesus to lift our shame.
May 22, 2016
Heather Nelson does a wonderful job explaining how shame leaks in to every part of our heart and how Jesus is the answer to our shame.
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