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Why They Stay: Helping Parents and Church Leaders Make Investments That Keep Children and Teens Connected to the Church for a Lifetime
Do you want your children to be actively serving in the local church when they turn thirty and beyond? Why The Stay can help! Much has been written about younger adults and their departure from church involvement. Concerned parents and church leaders want to know what has caused them to depart. Instead of asking why young adults are leaving the church, Parr and Crites conducted a national research project of those who grew up in church and are still serving faithfully. They studied why they have stayed and the results are compelling. You will learn as a parent, pastor, or church leader specific actions that you can take to make a definitive difference in whether or not the fifteenyearolds attending your church now are still attending and serving when they turn thirty. You will fifteen factors that make a great difference in the likelihood that children and teens will remain in church as adults ten issues that make somewhat of a difference in lifetime involvement five surprises that do not make as much difference as you might think the greatest gap discovered in the ministry focus of a church actions you can take as a parent that greatly increase the likelihood your children will remain faithful to church when they are adults strategies church leaders can implement that increase the probability that children and youthgroup members will serve in the church as adults Why They Stay is much more than numbers and data. Parr and Crites share from their personal experiences, and the information can help you be more effective in your parenting and church leadership.
240 pages, Paperback
First published September 2, 2015
15 people are currently reading
51 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
December 28, 2017
Dr. Parr's "Why They Stray" is incredibly insightful. A must-read for every Christian parent. Instead of harping on reasons why teenagers leave the church after graduation, Parr focuses on research-driven reasons why some stay committed to the church after graduation. Some of these research-based catalysts for lifelong faith in Christ may surprise you. Invaluable insight here.
July 18, 2019
Excellent. Every pastor and parent should read it. Bonus, it is available as an audio book.
July 10, 2020
Very helpful information for both parents and ministry leaders, providing research as to why children who are raised in the church either stay or stray from attending church as adults.
February 25, 2017
I should start by saying that the research in this book is phenomenal. It is very helpful to learn why young adults stay or stray from the church. That reason alone makes this book worth reading. According to their research, here are the 15 most significant factors that contribute to whether a child stays or strays from church once they become a young adult:
1. If they trusted in Christ before age 6, they were 32% more likely to stray.
2. If they were baptized as an infant, they were 184% more likely to stray.
3. If they didn’t have a close relationship with mom or dad, they were 50% and 65% more likely to stray, respectfully.
4. If they were a strong-willed child, they were 42.5% more likely to stray.
5. If they grew up in a “somewhat strict” environment, they were 21% more likely to stray.
6. If they had divorced parents, they were 11.6% more likely to stray.
7. If they didn’t worship with their parents during service, they were 38% more likely to stray.
8. If they didn’t like their pastor, they were 90% more likely to stray.
9. If they had a consistent youth leader they liked, they were 16% more likely to stay.
10. If they had a dad who served in a defined role at church, they were 16% more likely to stay.
11. If their church didn’t have a ministry for college age young adults, they were 33% more likely to stray.
12. If they didn’t go to college, they were 109% more likely to stray. But if they went to a Christian college, they were 90% more likely to stay.
13. If they connected with a church quickly after high school, they were 138% more likely to stay.
14. If they had a high view of Scripture, they were 84% more likely to stay.
15. If they made a personal commitment to grow in their faith, they were 71% more likely to stay.
Good info.
However, I found many aspects of this book to be completely unnecessary. The authors told many stories and gave many opinions which really didn't contribute to the overall thrust of the book. While such things were probably included to liven up the material, or provide practical next steps for the reader, I found myself skimming such sections in order to learn more about the actual data they collected. When I read a book that's based on research, I guess I just prefer to understand the data and then draw my own conclusions.
Nevertheless, I will likely be coming back to the research presented in this book time and time again in the coming years. Raising up the next generation to trust in Christ and grow in their faith in the context of a local church is of utmost importance.
1. If they trusted in Christ before age 6, they were 32% more likely to stray.
2. If they were baptized as an infant, they were 184% more likely to stray.
3. If they didn’t have a close relationship with mom or dad, they were 50% and 65% more likely to stray, respectfully.
4. If they were a strong-willed child, they were 42.5% more likely to stray.
5. If they grew up in a “somewhat strict” environment, they were 21% more likely to stray.
6. If they had divorced parents, they were 11.6% more likely to stray.
7. If they didn’t worship with their parents during service, they were 38% more likely to stray.
8. If they didn’t like their pastor, they were 90% more likely to stray.
9. If they had a consistent youth leader they liked, they were 16% more likely to stay.
10. If they had a dad who served in a defined role at church, they were 16% more likely to stay.
11. If their church didn’t have a ministry for college age young adults, they were 33% more likely to stray.
12. If they didn’t go to college, they were 109% more likely to stray. But if they went to a Christian college, they were 90% more likely to stay.
13. If they connected with a church quickly after high school, they were 138% more likely to stay.
14. If they had a high view of Scripture, they were 84% more likely to stay.
15. If they made a personal commitment to grow in their faith, they were 71% more likely to stay.
Good info.
However, I found many aspects of this book to be completely unnecessary. The authors told many stories and gave many opinions which really didn't contribute to the overall thrust of the book. While such things were probably included to liven up the material, or provide practical next steps for the reader, I found myself skimming such sections in order to learn more about the actual data they collected. When I read a book that's based on research, I guess I just prefer to understand the data and then draw my own conclusions.
Nevertheless, I will likely be coming back to the research presented in this book time and time again in the coming years. Raising up the next generation to trust in Christ and grow in their faith in the context of a local church is of utmost importance.
June 5, 2022
A great take on why people STAY in the church instead of simply just focusing on those who leave the church
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews