The Self-Acceptance Project: How to Be Kind and Compassionate Toward Yourself in Any Situation

by Tami Simon (Editor)

Even after years of spiritual practice, self-improvement, or therapy, many of us still have trouble with one essential self-acceptance. How do we stop from constantly judging ourselves as inadequate, finding fault with our bodies, or being plagued by our inner critics? The Self-Acceptance Project was created to help us find a solution. In this collection of essays, contemporary luminaries in spirituality, psychology, and creativity offer insights and teachings for truly embracing who we are no matter what our circumstances,

• "Waking Up from the Trance of Unworthiness"―Tara Brach illuminates the source of self-rejection and offers a powerful process to reverse unconscious patterns
• "Compassion for the Self-Critic"―Dr. Kristin Neff shows how self-judgment is often a misplaced but well-meaning survival instinct
• "Held, Not Healed"―Jeff Foster on making the space to accept anything that arises with open-hearted curiosity
• "No Strangers in the Heart"―poet Mark Nepo helps us reconnect to the sense of deep aliveness that we were born with
• "Taking in the Good"―Dr. Rick Hanson offers effective neuroscience-based insights and practices for overcoming our "negativity bias"
• "Transforming Self-Criticism into Self-Compassion"―Dr. Kelly McGonigal reveals practical strategies for changing the habitual way we treat ourselves

Why is it often so much easier to feel compassion and forgiveness toward others than toward ourselves? Where do our self-critical voices come from? Can we be motivated to grow and excel while still accepting ourselves as we are? In these 19 offerings, some of today’s most trusted teachers share their most valuable practices and techniques for building confidence, transforming our relationship with our inner critics, and using any circumstance as an opportunity to treat ourselves with kindness, compassion, and love.

Genres: Self Help, Psychology, Nonfiction, Mental Health, Health, Essays, Meditation

200 pages, Paperback

First published April 1, 2016

Reviews

[Cathy Beck · Rating 5 out of 5]

Almost every essay had me searching for my highlighter pen. Almost every page seemed to have a 'light bulb' moment for me. Sometimes I found it difficult to understand, but re-reading the more challenging passages rewarded me. As a beginner in the way of mindfulness, I'll take from this wonderful book the image of the scared little child inside me with all those good intentions that derail me, and the internal question 'Can I be with [allow] this, in this moment?'

Not the easiest of books to read, but I can't praise it highly enough, in terms of my own response to it.

[Liz De Coster · Rating 2 out of 5]

So many authors are involved I think a reader could be easily overwhelmed, and "project" in the title seems to imply a more cohesive treatment of the topic. This book would, I think, be best for people looking to discover new authors and philosophies rather than hoping for a plan.

[Ashley Nicole Russell · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is comprised of short essays on being kind to the self, the importance of doing so, and how to create those small but incredibly impactful changes. I found myself feeling the whole gamut of emotions while reading, but was overwhelmed with a sense of hope. We can be better. We can accept and love ourselves. We can show others how to do so as well. You will not regret this eye opening manual on turning toward and being warm to yourself. You deserve it.

[Bryn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really digestible chapters and helpful exercises for a variety of different scenarios

[The Blue Cave · Rating 5 out of 5]

While not all chapters in this edited volume were written with the same kind of attention and care, there is a wealth of information and advice from a wide range of perspectives and approaches on a topic which I believe lies at the heart of many of our (or at least my) sufferings and which thus has the potential and power to liberate. The introduction by the editor speaks to this eloquently, but the quotes I’ve shared so far are from individual chapters.

[Christian · Rating 4 out of 5]

Es un excelente libro, fundamentado, compilado de grandes autores que saben de lo que hablan y que son muy buenos profesionales, me pareció un libro un poco denso, con varios conceptos super valiosos y sobretodo aplicables a la vida diaria.

Siendo objetivo, preferiría leerlo cuando esté pasando por situaciones que ameriten el uso de las herramientas que ofrecen, ya que así me generaría más ganas de usarlas y necesidad de leerlo pues toca temas un poco repetidos como la autocompasión, el perdón y la bondad; temas bastante valiosos que merecen sin lugar a dudas el recogimiento y aprecio adecuado por parte del lector; por este motivo siento que un lector hambriento, con deseo de buscar ayuda lo aprovecharía muchísimo más.

[Petra De Graaf · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ik denk dat ik nog nooit zo lang over een boek gedaan heb, zoveel moeite gehad om te lezen en dan nog zoveel sterren geven 🤷‍♀️

Het boek was een cadeau van mijn coach, ik ben ermee door longCOVID gekomen en heb nu definiet (misschien met hulp van medicatie) afscheid van de beklemmende invloed van mijn inner critic genomen

Tja beetje andere recensie dan anders. Ondanks de worsteling heb ik nu de neiging opnieuw te beginnen.

Uitgelezen in de boekenwurm challenge 2025 juni: lees een boek waar je tegenop ziet

[Africanrul · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mejor leer poco a poco que del tirón, demasiado repetitivo.

[Lane · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every chapter is written by a different author, each providing what their take on "self-acceptance" is. Self-acceptance is just that, to be able to wholly accept every aspect of who you are. In Western society, we are taught to be very judgmental, especially of ourselves and overly so. Self-acceptance is to notice those parts of ourselves that we may not like, and accept them as part of us, of who we are, and in the process learn that these inadequacies may be completely false. If they are real, so? That's just they way we are and we need to embrace the person who is "us", and not as a piece of unlovable filth.

I've seen other reviews of this book complain that it's really repetitive, which yes, it is a bit. A lot of the same ideas get said, many, many times. But each author, all of which are experts in their fields, has their own take on acceptance and compassion. I thought the multiple viewpoints were beneficial to the book. One author may not strike you as profound, but the next one could and change your perspective. Each chapter has at least one piece of information that will make you really think, sometimes for me it was just one short sentence, and that can be all it takes.

I would also recommend the book "Self-Compassion" by Dr. Kristen Neff, to be read around the same time you read this one.

[Kait · Rating 4 out of 5]

"When we're in the deepest, darkest, and worst emotional state, when it seems like self-acceptance is the furthest away, we are in fact one instant away from the awareness that can transform us completely." Chapter 12, page 101.

This book definitely came at a perfect time in my life and left me with a lot to think about on my own self-love journey. Each chapter is written by a different author, which offered a nice variety in beliefs, insights, practices and so forth; however it also left some chapters stronger than others - this aspect likely varies person to person, depending on what resonates. Some chapters had high focus on the author themselves, with others more focused on healing techniques and reflection. Overall, I loved this book. It opened me, and made me aware of how badly I need to start being gentler with myself. This book came at a time when I really needed to hear that, and I honestly recommend it to anyone out there. It's worth a shot reading.

[Terri · Rating 4 out of 5]

This collection of essays by psychologists and Buddhist scholars taught me a few things about self-acceptance, even though I thought I already knew everything on the subject!

I love that it's not one long self-help book. Instead, having each chapter be written by a different person allows for a variety of approaches and worldviews, so something is bound to resonate with you deeply.

I think it's a book I would definitely return to when I need to exercise my self-acceptance muscle, just to reread my notes and highlights.

[Chih-Chieh · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is a collection of ideas on how to achieve self acceptance. It is not well structured. You can find good ideas in this book, but you have to endure the redundancy and contradictions in the book too. Some authors don't make a lot of sense. Although I find some interesting and took notes to read other books, I didn't finish it and figured my time would be better spent reading better books

[Dogsandbooks · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful collection individual essays by sounds true. Have notes on most helpful one, and one essay lead to revelation of fear standing behind my biggest issues. Rx: honor the fearful child. DPL e book.

[Gaye · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didn't actually finish the book, it just felt too much like homework! The exercises were great & if I suffered from a lack of self acceptance I'm sure I'd be more motivated to finish it. I'm keeping it on my bookshelf for reference, though. There's great stuff in it.

[Yam Herrera · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tener en un mismo libro a Tara Brach, Rick Hanson, Kristin Neff y Sharon Salzberg llamó mucho mi atención. Para quienes no lo sepan son 4 de los más reconocidos especialistas en temas como la autocompasión, la auto aceptación y el desarrollo humano. Desde la rigurosidad científica hasta las prácticas budistas y espirituales.

Luego el formato que pareció muy interesante, es una recopilación de Tami Simon que reunió la diversidad de perspectivas (unos 12 especialistas) reunidos en torno al tema del crítico interno y las distintas estrategias para la auto aceptación y la autocompasión. Fue un ejercicio interesante aprender técnicas nuevas y reforzar los conocimientos transmitidos de algunos autores que me encantan.

Finalicé el libro con una visión ampliada sobre la importancia de acoger en nuestra vida a esa voz que duda, que juzga, que nos limita, acogerla con amor y compasión como una parte más de nuestro ser, como parte de un camino de maduración emocional que nos facilita el camino para experimentar todo lo bueno que la vida tiene para ofrecer.

Especialmente valoro que se haya abordado ampliamente el tema de manera relacional.

Somos seres altamente sociales, que nos construimos y afianzamos a través de los demás. Y en la medida que somos seres más buenos y compasivos con nosotros mismos, también lo somos con los demás. Y cuando podemos conectar con personas, amigos, terapeutas que nos den espacio para experimentar todo el abanico de emociones, y de ser humanos, también podemos sanar.

Si bien no me gustaron todos los capítulos, los que sí, me gustaron muchísimo. Disfruté conocer una versión más amable y humana de los autores, conocer algunas de sus experiencias de vida. Lo único que lamenté fue no tenerlo en físico ya que solo está disponible de manera digital. Sugiero leerlo en la app de @amazonkindle

Preparé algunos fragmentos para que puedan tener mayor contexto y se los recomiendo ampliamente si están interesados en el tema.

[T · Rating 3 out of 5]

Have you thought that why you may not have felt safe or good enough to express and be yourself was that you hadn’t received enough love and compassion from others?

Negativity bias and identifying with what is deficient keeps us from self-acceptance.

Reframe the Inner Critic and call her the "Inner Mentor".

Self-worth is more formidable if it stems from self-compassion and self-respect, rather than be contingent on fulfilling ideals.

Interventions that focus on cultivating self-compassion are more effective than boosting self-esteem for reducing depression and anxiety in the long term.

Try speaking to oneself as a good friend for seven days straight to decrease depression for three months and raises happiness for six months.

"When I feel a moment of love thoroughly, I am feeling everyone who has ever loved. If I am in a moment of pain and I meet it well, I feel the river of everyone who ever suffered."


Be mindful; calm the body to calm the mind. Be curious. Ask what the feelings are, without judgment.

[Lizzy · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you have NEVER been to therapy or NEVER read a self-help book, and you're struggling with self-esteem, this may be worth a read. Otherwise, this is worth skipping.

There were a couple chapters that I found truly insightful and incredible, which is what's preventing me from giving this book two stars. However, because there are SO MANY different voices, authors, and contributors, I not only found it hard to "get in" to the book with the conflicting writing styles, but the book tended to be both incredibly repetitive and strangely conflicting at the same time.

There are much better self-help books out there. This was was just okay.

[Erika Powers · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ugh, I say, with a great roll of the tongue and the eyes.

I can’t even explain how worthless this book is to me. Idk how it got 4 stars. Are things really that simple for most folks? Here, read this book of essays and you’ll feel better. Not. (Yes, I said not).

I give this untitillating book a puke face rating, 🤢 for being unfunny, vague, and having an overall low, cloudy tone. Too somber. Lighten up! I should have guessed that from the cover art. Feels like it belongs in a funeral parlor. Snore.

[Beth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book! As a psychologist and a yoga teacher, I've been weaving self-compassion into my work, and this book was a perfect means to strengthen that. It features chapters from many authors/researchers with whom I was already familiar, including Tara Brach, Steven Hayes, Kristin Neff, Rick Hanson, Kelly McGonigal, and Sharon Salzberg. There is definitely a Buddhist foundation to much of these writings, although the featured authors often come from a psychotherapy background as well. Highly recommended!

[Lana · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some essays were quite eye opening, others not as much.

I will keep it to refer to from time to time when I need a reminder to be more caring and compassionate with myself.

I should have made a note on the chapters I found more useful to remind myself which ones to revisit. Or perhaps at another stage different chapters will resonate with me, so it's good I didn't make notes about the applicability of each chapter to me.

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every author’s contribution to this book was filled with wisdom, encouragement, knowledge, compassion, and insight. I was so deeply moved by every bit of content in this book. I wrote down so many quotes to save and reflect back on. I loved all of the different perspectives on how to develop self-acceptance, but also appreciated the commonalities throughout each perspective. It was pieced together well, and I am thankful that such a compilation of essays exists.

[Lisa Gray · Rating 3 out of 5]

Who doesn’t need more self-acceptance? What I liked about this book is that each short chapter is written by a different author with their perspective. What I didn’t like is the lack of cohesiveness - where you have 10 authors, you’ll have contradictory advice about how to quell self-criticism. Not necessarily a bad thing but if you read it straight through, you may struggle with which path to take.

[Zack · Rating 4 out of 5]

Essential reading. A bit repetitive between contributors but it can be helpful in reinforcing concepts and practices that multiple leaders in the field observe and endorse. Some essays can be a little unclear and unfocused, but overall this is a book I will come back to on a regular basis in an attempt to integrate the lessons into my personal spiritual practice.

[Daniel Chen · Rating 4 out of 5]

A worthwhile collection of multiple ponderances on finding the motivation and trying out methodologies for combatting the destructive nature of the scathing self-critic. Not all the essays are at the same level of substance as some, but it’s healthy to have varying perspectives and some things definitely work for particular personalities more than others.

[Jozsef · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought it will be an easy read because of the shortness of the different perspectives included in this book of essays. I was wrong, very dense and demanding read. It made me discover many different points of views on self acceptance and the quest for a balanced life. Highly recommended read when you are searching for understanding of your inner voice.

[Doreen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend. First - it’s a collection of essays, so it’s very easy to read, absorb the wisdom, put what works for you into practice, and read another essay.

The bottom line is to learn how to cultivate kindness to that inner critic. Love that voice that’s ultimately just trying to protect you and it won’t be as loud.

[Tiffany · Rating 3 out of 5]

If I were rating by chapter, there would certainly be a few 4 and maybe even a couple of 5 star chapters. There are, also, some 2 and even 1 star chapters. Some chapters genuinely made me reconsider how I see myself while others offered little to no new insight. Overall, I appreciated the book as a whole and the internal reflections it brought on.

[Zoë · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was given this by a friend who was looking out for me. There were parts of this book that really resonated with me and gave me something to think about. However, it did get rather repetitive as it cycled through lots of people saying nearly the same thing.

[Amber · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a compilation of different authors. Some folks may appreciate the fresh voices on every chapter but for me it sometimes made it redundant as some of the information was repeated. Overall, a very comforting book that I did find helpful.

[Kimberly Simpson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Powerful, beautifully written essays on self acceptance... “True healing is not a destination, not about ridding yourself of pain, fear, sorrow, and all that, not about becoming perfect, or immune or untouchable, but has something to do with saying YES to the present moment”