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Blue Apple Switchback: A Memoir
Carrie Highley was always a tomboy and by the time she turned 16, she was wishing she were dancing with the girls instead of the boys at cotillion dances. In her early 30s, while living in West Virginia, she discovered a passion for road biking, finally stopped sequestering her deep feelings for women, and began an ill-fated love affair with a female cycling friend.
Then, at 36, she found herself skidding into Asheville, North Carolina, holding on tight to the coattails of her doctor husband and spending her time as a stay-at-home mother of 2 boys. Moving to North Carolina was Highley's attempt to reembrace heterosexual married life after her tumultuous time in West Virginia. But in Asheville, she met Charlie, a fellow cyclist 23 years her senior, who became her mentor, friend, and father all rolled into one and as they grew closer, she started unloading her fears into Charlie's inbox.
With Charlie's support, Highley finally got the courage to do what she d been waiting her whole life to do: go down the mountain with her hands off the brakes.
Then, at 36, she found herself skidding into Asheville, North Carolina, holding on tight to the coattails of her doctor husband and spending her time as a stay-at-home mother of 2 boys. Moving to North Carolina was Highley's attempt to reembrace heterosexual married life after her tumultuous time in West Virginia. But in Asheville, she met Charlie, a fellow cyclist 23 years her senior, who became her mentor, friend, and father all rolled into one and as they grew closer, she started unloading her fears into Charlie's inbox.
With Charlie's support, Highley finally got the courage to do what she d been waiting her whole life to do: go down the mountain with her hands off the brakes.
- GenresNonfictionLGBT
210 pages, Paperback
First published June 7, 2016
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329 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
January 11, 2021
Not really sure what to do with this one. Highley grew up in the deep American South, in a time and place where same-sex attraction was taboo and there really weren't options other than 'get married and have kids'. So she married a man, and had kids, and...still liked women.
The book spans many years: early on, her children are little kids, needing school pickup and hand-holding; later, we get glimpses into their teenage years and beyond. Part of me is impressed that Highley managed to cover that much time in a relatively spare length (definitely no bloat to this book), but part of me was thrown every time an age was mentioned and I realised how much time was still passing.
This also ended up skewing much towards coming-out story than I'd expected. It took Highley a long, long time to be comfortable coming out to friends and then to family. This makes some sense, given the (unstated) impact and time and place, but in places it felt more like...personal catharsis than story I was interested in, I guess. Coming out itself is described as having very little negative impact on Highley's life, so I'm left to wonder about Highley's background/upbringing left her so convinced that everyone would reject her.
The book spans many years: early on, her children are little kids, needing school pickup and hand-holding; later, we get glimpses into their teenage years and beyond. Part of me is impressed that Highley managed to cover that much time in a relatively spare length (definitely no bloat to this book), but part of me was thrown every time an age was mentioned and I realised how much time was still passing.
This also ended up skewing much towards coming-out story than I'd expected. It took Highley a long, long time to be comfortable coming out to friends and then to family. This makes some sense, given the (unstated) impact and time and place, but in places it felt more like...personal catharsis than story I was interested in, I guess. Coming out itself is described as having very little negative impact on Highley's life, so I'm left to wonder about Highley's background/upbringing left her so convinced that everyone would reject her.
September 10, 2016
Disclaimer: I received this book as part of the Goodreads Giveaways program.
I'm a little torn on this one. There were parts that made it "meh" (2 stars) and parts that made it good (3 stars). I ended up giving it the 3 stars because Carrie's story resonates to many.
Blue Apple Switchback is the author's memoir on the realization that she is gay, and that her marriage is falling apart. What sustains Carrie through the various changes in her life is her passion for cycling. The story starts with Carrie and her husband Sam in West Virginia. Carrie and her family, which includes her two sons Quinn and Nelson, have long bounced around places because Sam is in his final years of medical training (residency). As they move, Carrie notices a neighborhood woman who is a cyclist; Ryann, who is married with a son the same age as Carrie's, invites her along to ride with her.
And so begins an intense relationship; Carrie and Ryann grow closer, and Carrie realizes that the feelings she's had for women since high school are her reality, and her marriage with Sam starts to fall apart.
Throughout the book, Carrie inserts emails from her friend Charlie, though Carrie doesn't meet him until after she meets Ryann and things progress. Charlie is the most comforting figure in the book; in fact, most of Carrie's friend are gently pushing her to open up and embrace her reality.
The things that I'm critical of are a) her romance with Ryann itself, and b) the language of the book itself. I'm not LGBT, so I don't know what attraction is in those cases, but Ryann's personality is a little abrasive (and sometimes Carrie seems a little wimpy). To me, it's not a good match, and all Highley explains is a vague chemistry. Maybe I'm being critical, but you shouldn't have to say your chemistry is electric; it should be implied by the actions and the descriptions in the writing. To me, Ryann just seemed...off. My second criticism is the language. The prose gets a little florid at times. Sometimes I was just thinking, "Get to the point already!"
Overall, however, I do think this was an interesting book.
I'm a little torn on this one. There were parts that made it "meh" (2 stars) and parts that made it good (3 stars). I ended up giving it the 3 stars because Carrie's story resonates to many.
Blue Apple Switchback is the author's memoir on the realization that she is gay, and that her marriage is falling apart. What sustains Carrie through the various changes in her life is her passion for cycling. The story starts with Carrie and her husband Sam in West Virginia. Carrie and her family, which includes her two sons Quinn and Nelson, have long bounced around places because Sam is in his final years of medical training (residency). As they move, Carrie notices a neighborhood woman who is a cyclist; Ryann, who is married with a son the same age as Carrie's, invites her along to ride with her.
And so begins an intense relationship; Carrie and Ryann grow closer, and Carrie realizes that the feelings she's had for women since high school are her reality, and her marriage with Sam starts to fall apart.
Throughout the book, Carrie inserts emails from her friend Charlie, though Carrie doesn't meet him until after she meets Ryann and things progress. Charlie is the most comforting figure in the book; in fact, most of Carrie's friend are gently pushing her to open up and embrace her reality.
The things that I'm critical of are a) her romance with Ryann itself, and b) the language of the book itself. I'm not LGBT, so I don't know what attraction is in those cases, but Ryann's personality is a little abrasive (and sometimes Carrie seems a little wimpy). To me, it's not a good match, and all Highley explains is a vague chemistry. Maybe I'm being critical, but you shouldn't have to say your chemistry is electric; it should be implied by the actions and the descriptions in the writing. To me, Ryann just seemed...off. My second criticism is the language. The prose gets a little florid at times. Sometimes I was just thinking, "Get to the point already!"
Overall, however, I do think this was an interesting book.
May 9, 2020
Goodreads win.
This was alright. Nothing groundbreaking. Read thru it in a day.
This was alright. Nothing groundbreaking. Read thru it in a day.
February 10, 2021
The tone felt like a self-interested diary rather than a mature woman's evolution. The mood felt like a pleasure loving adventure full of flowery language where everyone else in her life were the planets that circled around her. I was really hoping this would get better and the main character would truly learn to care and love through some form of true conflict; however, she never really suffered or had any real trials. It seemed at times her actions were driven only by fear, and there was not much to fear; she had it a little too good. The main character remained pretty static as well; I didn't really see her grow or change.
July 3, 2017
An excellent, quick read! I couldn't put it down. There is an adventure in this for anyone, and a sensitive story to tell. I hope she continues to write books! I appreciated the midlife discovery, and how it resonates with all of us in one way or another. I also appreciated that Carrie was honest and followed her heart.
June 29, 2017
A lovely book about a woman finding the courage to be who she is. It's a sweet story that many of us can relate to. Whether it's divorce or coming out, this book shares a personal and thoughtful perspective on a woman's changing life in midlife.
December 2, 2018
Well written and authentic expression of her journey. An inspiring story of relationships, strength and acceptance.
June 10, 2016
Blue Apple Switchback is a memoir following the author's journey from marriage because it was expected, divorce because that marriage had never been her reality, to revealing that true reality to the most important people in her life.
It's true that we can all hide from ourselves extremely effectively when we want to. But at the same time we all have tells, cracks which our true selves seep through that we don't truly want to seal up. Carrie Highley's outlet is cycling, and while she lived the life she chose because it fit expectations it became one of the only things that was real to her.
It isn't surprising then that it is cycling which brings into her life a relationship that changes everything. Because you can only really fall in love when you're truly yourself. And so an affair eventually leads to divorce, which sets Carrie on the path to admitting that she is gay.
It's interesting, to me at least, that the word lesbian is completely absent from Blue Apple Switchback. Word choice, perception, and pronouns are such a personal thing, and also a newly fluctuating part of our world as we work to be more and more inclusive. It's a balancing act, trying to be sensitive to others while not to take offense and gently correcting when someone we love and respect might not quite measure up on the other side of the equation.
Anyone who has experienced the breakdown of a long term relationship can relate to the push and pull of Carrie's marriage. So much fear goes into staying when you shouldn't.
Because of course you can do it, you tell yourself. Of course you can bear the pain and push your real self down, down, away. You don't need anything for yourself, you can make do. Because you made a choice, this is what you chose, and you have responsibilities because of the choice you made. The happiness of the many outweighs the happiness of yourself alone.
Except that it doesn't. And some reach a point where we simply can't do it anymore. It kills you to hurt the ones you love the most, the people you have promised to love and protect. Because you can't even protect them from yourself. It feels like betrayal because it is. You don't believe you are a good person because in those moments you're not.
We make mistakes. With the help of our friends and family some of us get to correct them. Some of us can balance out past misery with new happiness. One of the positive things to come from a mistake like this is that most of us aren't likely to make the same one twice.
§!@#$%^&*()_+
So obviously the narrative resonated with me. A couple of things did pull me out of it at times. The prose reads to me as a bit stilted in places and the individual voices tend to blend into each other. Being written in the first person perspective, this is probably a weakness of the memoir genre in general.
Carrie's friend-slash-mentorship with Charlie is presented almost solely through email exchanges and I would have really enjoyed a single scene of them interacting in person, one on one, to introduce us to it. If I hadn't read the publisher's blurb before I began the book I would have been mightily confused about their relationship and how it fit into the timeline of the narrative.
http://www.typeroftales.com/book-revi...
It's true that we can all hide from ourselves extremely effectively when we want to. But at the same time we all have tells, cracks which our true selves seep through that we don't truly want to seal up. Carrie Highley's outlet is cycling, and while she lived the life she chose because it fit expectations it became one of the only things that was real to her.
It isn't surprising then that it is cycling which brings into her life a relationship that changes everything. Because you can only really fall in love when you're truly yourself. And so an affair eventually leads to divorce, which sets Carrie on the path to admitting that she is gay.
It's interesting, to me at least, that the word lesbian is completely absent from Blue Apple Switchback. Word choice, perception, and pronouns are such a personal thing, and also a newly fluctuating part of our world as we work to be more and more inclusive. It's a balancing act, trying to be sensitive to others while not to take offense and gently correcting when someone we love and respect might not quite measure up on the other side of the equation.
Anyone who has experienced the breakdown of a long term relationship can relate to the push and pull of Carrie's marriage. So much fear goes into staying when you shouldn't.
Because of course you can do it, you tell yourself. Of course you can bear the pain and push your real self down, down, away. You don't need anything for yourself, you can make do. Because you made a choice, this is what you chose, and you have responsibilities because of the choice you made. The happiness of the many outweighs the happiness of yourself alone.
Except that it doesn't. And some reach a point where we simply can't do it anymore. It kills you to hurt the ones you love the most, the people you have promised to love and protect. Because you can't even protect them from yourself. It feels like betrayal because it is. You don't believe you are a good person because in those moments you're not.
We make mistakes. With the help of our friends and family some of us get to correct them. Some of us can balance out past misery with new happiness. One of the positive things to come from a mistake like this is that most of us aren't likely to make the same one twice.
§!@#$%^&*()_+
So obviously the narrative resonated with me. A couple of things did pull me out of it at times. The prose reads to me as a bit stilted in places and the individual voices tend to blend into each other. Being written in the first person perspective, this is probably a weakness of the memoir genre in general.
Carrie's friend-slash-mentorship with Charlie is presented almost solely through email exchanges and I would have really enjoyed a single scene of them interacting in person, one on one, to introduce us to it. If I hadn't read the publisher's blurb before I began the book I would have been mightily confused about their relationship and how it fit into the timeline of the narrative.
http://www.typeroftales.com/book-revi...
June 22, 2016
Carrie's memoir is as much about coming out as it is coming into her life. She writes with a refreshing poignancy and I'm happy to have read her memoir; I look forward to reading her next book.
I like how Carrie starts out each chapter with a quote. It's a great way to preface each chapter. The writing in her memoir is smooth, then at times gritty. Just like her life.
Carrie rides her bikes and makes friends and it's not lost on the reader the mountains she's biking up or cresting down - both in life and on two wheels.
Brava, Carrie. Keep writing, but even more keep living.
I received a copy of this book via NetGalley from BookSparks for my honest opinion.
I like how Carrie starts out each chapter with a quote. It's a great way to preface each chapter. The writing in her memoir is smooth, then at times gritty. Just like her life.
Carrie rides her bikes and makes friends and it's not lost on the reader the mountains she's biking up or cresting down - both in life and on two wheels.
Brava, Carrie. Keep writing, but even more keep living.
I received a copy of this book via NetGalley from BookSparks for my honest opinion.
June 18, 2016
Deeply personal and moving . A real life spiritual and biking adventure by a woman who is certain to be one of the newest and hottest writers on the coming out genre . I recommend this book for anyone who is preparing to come out, has come out or loves someone on the exciting and frightening journey of sexual exploration. Well done Carrie Highley.
August 1, 2017
Million dollar question; do I stay in this marriage or do I live the truth? Here's an emotional look into Carrie's decision to stay married to Sam or not. A small look into her kids' reaction when she came out; and Sam's reaction to the possibility of no reconciliation.
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews