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The Loving Push: How Parents and Professionals Can Help Spectrum Kids Become Successful Adults
Parents, teachers, therapists, and anyone who cares about a child or teen on the autism spectrum need this essential roadmap to prepare our youth for being successful adults in today’s world. Best-selling author, autism advocate, and animal science professor Dr. Temple Grandin joins psychologist and autism specialist Dr. Debra Moore in spelling out which steps you can take to restore your child’s hope and motivation―and what you must avoid. Eight life stories told by people on the autism spectrum, including chapters on subjects like how to get kids off their computers, how to build on their strengths and get back to caring about their lives, and how to find a path to a successful, meaningful life make this a ”must read book!”
280 pages, Paperback
First published February 8, 2016
244 people are currently reading
1412 people want to read
About the author
Temple Grandin
162 books1,803 followersMary Temple Grandin is an American academic and animal behaviorist. She is a prominent proponent of the humane treatment of livestock for slaughter and the author of more than 60 scientific papers on animal behavior. Grandin is a consultant to the livestock industry, where she offers advice on animal behavior, and is also an autism spokesperson.
Grandin is one of the first autistic people to document the insights she gained from her personal experiences with autism. She is a faculty member with Animal Sciences in the College of Agricultural Sciences at Colorado State University.
In 2010, Time 100, an annual list of the 100 most influential people in the world, named her in the "Heroes" category. She was the subject of the Emmy- and Golden Globe-winning biographical film Temple Grandin. Grandin has been an outspoken proponent of autism rights and neurodiversity movements.
Grandin is one of the first autistic people to document the insights she gained from her personal experiences with autism. She is a faculty member with Animal Sciences in the College of Agricultural Sciences at Colorado State University.
In 2010, Time 100, an annual list of the 100 most influential people in the world, named her in the "Heroes" category. She was the subject of the Emmy- and Golden Globe-winning biographical film Temple Grandin. Grandin has been an outspoken proponent of autism rights and neurodiversity movements.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 69 reviews
July 31, 2016
Excellent, excellent, excellent! Wonderful, easy to understand, practical, totally doable ideas of, as the title suggest, how to get your Spectrum child on the path to successful adulthood. Heartening to know that we have already used many of the techniques discussed, and will use others that are new to us as presented. Our 19 yrs. old son with Aspergers will benefit greatly that his two loving parents read this book. This should be read by parents/caregivers of all teenage and older kids. Debra Moore, and of course, coauthor Temple Grandin, totally get it. Thank you, thank you to them!
February 5, 2017
Excellent resource.
February 16, 2016
Most parents grapple with how to guide their children into a valuable and viable adulthood. Through all of my years of parenting and my time of consoling and counseling many parents in churches where I have pastored, this is a steady stream of stress. But add to this the particular struggles of autism, and the frustrations and feelings of futility can be greatly exacerbated. To restore hope and rebuild courage in parents with children on the spectrum comes a new 288 page paperback. “The Loving Push: How parents and professionals can help spectrum kids become successful adults” has co-written by Dr. Temple Grandin, author, professor and lecturer who is on the spectrum; and Dr. Debra Moore, author and psychologist who has worked with many clients dealing with HFA and Asperger’s. As the authors state, they “want to increase the odds that your child grows into an adult with a rewarding, meaningful life” (xiii).
“The Loving Push” weaves together the stories of several young people who are on the autism spectrum and their parents. The accounts describe real live people overcoming and working through their specific peculiarities to become increasingly capable of independent living. Setbacks, disappointments and dark moments are described, as well as successes and advancements. Their parents and mentors also chime in voicing their strategies, relating the consequences and end results. The one shared trait in every story is that each person “was encouraged and “stretched” just outside of their comfort zone by at least one adult in their life,” which helped keep them from falling into “chronic learned helplessness” (26).
Beyond the stories, the authors tackle several “how-to” approaches. For example, Chapter 2 walks the reader/mentor through ways to enable their unique child to avoid learned helplessness, to learn optimism and resist habitual negative thinking, while encouraging the mentor in the importance of their role. The significance of supportive adults is drummed through the book from cover-to-cover, especially adults who blend “being a positive role model, a source of advice or information, and someone who” expects “effort and accountability” (33). Grandin and Moore also address ways to help end a child’s bad habits, stretch them out of their comfort zones, and assist them to break out of chronic anxiety and a “don’t care” attitude.
One of the critical chapters in “The Loving Push” addresses the danger of compulsive electronic gaming and how it can turn kids on the spectrum into “media recluses”. The authors make a careful distinction between recreational and compulsive gaming. They work the reader through the ways gaming affects children’s’ brains, how game developers deliberately fashion games to get compulsive or addictive responses, why ASD kids are more vulnerable to these ploys, and what to do to help the children from being consumed. One of the key components to remediating compulsive gaming is developing authentic associations. As the authors note, relationships “with real people in real time can be the best replacement for compulsive gaming” (145).
“The Loving Push” is a simple read for parents and adults who are engaged with children, teens and young adults that are somewhere on the spectrum. But even parents with neurotypical children will find this volume fruitful. As a result of reading the chapter on compulsive gaming, my wife and I have initiated some important changes with our remaining children in our home. This is a book I highly recommend!
My thanks to Future Horizons and Dr. Debra Moore for the free copy of “The Loving Push” used for this review sent at my request. The assessments are mine given without restrictions or requirements (as per Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255).
“The Loving Push” weaves together the stories of several young people who are on the autism spectrum and their parents. The accounts describe real live people overcoming and working through their specific peculiarities to become increasingly capable of independent living. Setbacks, disappointments and dark moments are described, as well as successes and advancements. Their parents and mentors also chime in voicing their strategies, relating the consequences and end results. The one shared trait in every story is that each person “was encouraged and “stretched” just outside of their comfort zone by at least one adult in their life,” which helped keep them from falling into “chronic learned helplessness” (26).
Beyond the stories, the authors tackle several “how-to” approaches. For example, Chapter 2 walks the reader/mentor through ways to enable their unique child to avoid learned helplessness, to learn optimism and resist habitual negative thinking, while encouraging the mentor in the importance of their role. The significance of supportive adults is drummed through the book from cover-to-cover, especially adults who blend “being a positive role model, a source of advice or information, and someone who” expects “effort and accountability” (33). Grandin and Moore also address ways to help end a child’s bad habits, stretch them out of their comfort zones, and assist them to break out of chronic anxiety and a “don’t care” attitude.
One of the critical chapters in “The Loving Push” addresses the danger of compulsive electronic gaming and how it can turn kids on the spectrum into “media recluses”. The authors make a careful distinction between recreational and compulsive gaming. They work the reader through the ways gaming affects children’s’ brains, how game developers deliberately fashion games to get compulsive or addictive responses, why ASD kids are more vulnerable to these ploys, and what to do to help the children from being consumed. One of the key components to remediating compulsive gaming is developing authentic associations. As the authors note, relationships “with real people in real time can be the best replacement for compulsive gaming” (145).
“The Loving Push” is a simple read for parents and adults who are engaged with children, teens and young adults that are somewhere on the spectrum. But even parents with neurotypical children will find this volume fruitful. As a result of reading the chapter on compulsive gaming, my wife and I have initiated some important changes with our remaining children in our home. This is a book I highly recommend!
My thanks to Future Horizons and Dr. Debra Moore for the free copy of “The Loving Push” used for this review sent at my request. The assessments are mine given without restrictions or requirements (as per Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255).
June 7, 2021
Filled with practical strategies for helping the autistic young adult move closer to independence. I pumped my fist every time I read that I was doing something that the research suggests and recommends, and I was took notes for every new strategy I want to adopt.
Here are a few representative ideas:
If the kid's not going to drive a car, teach him how to use public transportation.
There are very few jobs for video testers. Get a real dream.
Make the high school identify specific strategies for transition planning into the IEP or GIEP.
Doing tasks for the child that they can do increases their feelings of ineptness and impotence.
And how about this insight from a mother of an adult with autism:
"I want to stress to people that you can't just say, 'put forth the effort." You have to push them out of complacency. Because how sad for them and what a burden on society if they don't do anything."
This is one of those books that is so rich with useful suggestions that I will go back through and type all of the passages I underlined as well as my marginalia into a Google Doc so that I can refer to it whenever I have a mind to.
One of the top ten books on autism I've ever read.
Here are a few representative ideas:
If the kid's not going to drive a car, teach him how to use public transportation.
There are very few jobs for video testers. Get a real dream.
Make the high school identify specific strategies for transition planning into the IEP or GIEP.
Doing tasks for the child that they can do increases their feelings of ineptness and impotence.
And how about this insight from a mother of an adult with autism:
"I want to stress to people that you can't just say, 'put forth the effort." You have to push them out of complacency. Because how sad for them and what a burden on society if they don't do anything."
This is one of those books that is so rich with useful suggestions that I will go back through and type all of the passages I underlined as well as my marginalia into a Google Doc so that I can refer to it whenever I have a mind to.
One of the top ten books on autism I've ever read.
May 15, 2019
Great resource.
Notes:
* If one were to sit down and design a form of environmental stimulation that would be toxic or damaging to the ASD brain by virtue of exacerbating the core neurological deficits, that stimulation is 21st century technology.
* To get autistic kids to progress, they must DO things, not just talk about them -- even small successes may be taxing. He needs more than the average success before he will own it, and even then his negative voice is so loud. You have to keep at it, and keep trying things, because you never know when you'll hit on something that will keep him motivated. Even then you have to keep him actively involved or his brain will knock it down.
* Old-fashioned "rules" may make it easier for autistic children to function, because it's calming for them to have explicit and predictable expectations.
* Chapter 5 (What to do when your kid doesn't seem to care or is chronically anxious) has good ideas.
Notes:
* If one were to sit down and design a form of environmental stimulation that would be toxic or damaging to the ASD brain by virtue of exacerbating the core neurological deficits, that stimulation is 21st century technology.
* To get autistic kids to progress, they must DO things, not just talk about them -- even small successes may be taxing. He needs more than the average success before he will own it, and even then his negative voice is so loud. You have to keep at it, and keep trying things, because you never know when you'll hit on something that will keep him motivated. Even then you have to keep him actively involved or his brain will knock it down.
* Old-fashioned "rules" may make it easier for autistic children to function, because it's calming for them to have explicit and predictable expectations.
* Chapter 5 (What to do when your kid doesn't seem to care or is chronically anxious) has good ideas.
May 23, 2016
This book may have been written for families with children that are autistic, but it should be read by parents, grandparents, teachers and leaders who work with children and teens, if for no other reason than to read the chapter on video gaming and electronics. Authors Temple Grandin, perhaps the most famous autistic person around, and Debra Moore, a psychologist, share facts and information regarding the addiction that has trapped many children and teens today. I HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone preparing a child for the responsibilities of growing up!
November 28, 2022
I read this to get a perspective on it's approach to working with children with ASD and to provide a recommendation to parents. Whilst there were a lot of generalisations and not a heap of acknowledgement of the variety of sensory preferences/executive functioning/funtional abilities- it was still very insightful and provided lots of practical examples for parents!
January 27, 2019
This book is so great l. Very helpful for parents with children on the spectrum in helping find a starting point on getting your child to adulthood
October 10, 2016
Young adults on the spectrum face significant challenges as they transition to adulthood, with many socially isolated, unemployed, and lacking services. Unfortunately, research suggests that the vast majority of these young adults will be residing in the parental or guardian home during the period of emerging adulthood. It is clear that more needs to be done to help them thrive to the best of their abilities and attain a high quality of life. The “Loving Push” by Drs. Grandin and Moore addresses these issues with a direct, yet empathetic and positive discussion of ways in which parents and professionals can enhance the potential of “spectrum kids” of any age and help them achieve productive and meaningful adult lives.
The authors deliver a critical message that, more than other children and youth, those on the autism spectrum must overcome “learned helplessness” and move beyond their “comfort zone” in order to reach their full, unique potential. Pushing is necessary,” the authors write, “because those on the spectrum are unlikely to automatically pick up the mundane but necessary tasks of daily life without us intentionally nudging them and providing them with information, encouragement, and persistence.”
The central theme of “The Loving Push” is that the focus of intervention/treatment must shift to promoting adaptive behaviors and basic life skills that can facilitate and enhance ultimate functional independence and quality of life in adulthood. This includes helping spectrum kids learn the skills needed to meet new developmental challenges such as independent living, vocational engagement, post-secondary education, and self-supporting employment. Drs. Grandin and Moore provide a much needed “push” in this direction. As the authors’ note, “With more and more young adults on the spectrum entering adulthood everyday, we don’t have time to lose.”
“The Loving Push” is an excellent resource and highly recommended not only for parents of children and youth on the spectrum, but for all parents looking to provide their children with the knowledge and skills needed to become self-reliant and successful adults. The book is also recommended for professionals in private practice, schools, colleges and universities, and community settings who work with teens and young adults on the spectrum to help them achieve a successful transition to this stage of life.
- Lee A. Wilkinson, PhD, Author of "Overcoming Anxiety and Depression on the Autism Spectrum: A Self-Help Guide Using CBT" and "A Best Practice Guide to Assessment and Intervention for Autism Spectrum Disorder in Schools."
The authors deliver a critical message that, more than other children and youth, those on the autism spectrum must overcome “learned helplessness” and move beyond their “comfort zone” in order to reach their full, unique potential. Pushing is necessary,” the authors write, “because those on the spectrum are unlikely to automatically pick up the mundane but necessary tasks of daily life without us intentionally nudging them and providing them with information, encouragement, and persistence.”
The central theme of “The Loving Push” is that the focus of intervention/treatment must shift to promoting adaptive behaviors and basic life skills that can facilitate and enhance ultimate functional independence and quality of life in adulthood. This includes helping spectrum kids learn the skills needed to meet new developmental challenges such as independent living, vocational engagement, post-secondary education, and self-supporting employment. Drs. Grandin and Moore provide a much needed “push” in this direction. As the authors’ note, “With more and more young adults on the spectrum entering adulthood everyday, we don’t have time to lose.”
“The Loving Push” is an excellent resource and highly recommended not only for parents of children and youth on the spectrum, but for all parents looking to provide their children with the knowledge and skills needed to become self-reliant and successful adults. The book is also recommended for professionals in private practice, schools, colleges and universities, and community settings who work with teens and young adults on the spectrum to help them achieve a successful transition to this stage of life.
- Lee A. Wilkinson, PhD, Author of "Overcoming Anxiety and Depression on the Autism Spectrum: A Self-Help Guide Using CBT" and "A Best Practice Guide to Assessment and Intervention for Autism Spectrum Disorder in Schools."
February 27, 2017
As a mom of a 15 year old ASD teen, I found this very helpful. I second guess myself constantly and it was nice to know I am on the right track already. This book is full of practical information and hopeful true stories.
April 17, 2019
An excellent book which I have been given at a time when I have been wondering how to progress with helping my autistic daughter. The chapter on computer-gaming is quite daunting, there's no getting around that one, and if you're willing to allow your autistic loved-one to spend many hours gaming or web surfing in exchange for a quiet life then probably don't bother to read this book. Parenting, teaching and mentoring can all be hard work and sometimes the person we are working for doesn't like what we do: The Loving Push does bring it home with examples that all we invest comes back tenfold, and usually will be appreciated -eventually!
Unfortunately there are some references to schemes and websites that just aren't present in the UK. Also, some of the suggestions may not be workable unless you happen to live near an incredibly good or cooperative school. In the main though, there are many ways listed with which you can help your child to grow and mature and become more independent.
A big thank you to a good friend of myself and my daughter for giving this book to me!
Unfortunately there are some references to schemes and websites that just aren't present in the UK. Also, some of the suggestions may not be workable unless you happen to live near an incredibly good or cooperative school. In the main though, there are many ways listed with which you can help your child to grow and mature and become more independent.
A big thank you to a good friend of myself and my daughter for giving this book to me!
June 9, 2016
The loving push is hands down, the best autism book aimed at late teens (through to mid-twenties and sometimes beyond). If you have one of these kids already, this is the book to get.... particularly if they spend "too much time" on the computer and/or in their bedroom. If you don't have a teen yet but have a younger child, this book is still a great one to get. It will become increasingly valuable as your kids get older and the earlier the techniques in the book are applied, the better.
I really can't praise this book enough.
Full Review: http://life-with-aspergers.blogspot.c...
I really can't praise this book enough.
Full Review: http://life-with-aspergers.blogspot.c...
July 29, 2016
Have you ever found a book that was exactly what you needed? The Loving Push was that book for me!
I wish I could give this book to everyone who has a child on the autism spectrum (or any other non-NT flavors). If you worry about what's going to happen when these kids grow up; how they will ever be able to get a job and support themselves, become independent and move out; how you can get them off the computer and out of their bedrooms; how you can empower them to interact with people in socially appropriate and meaningful ways, PLEASE get a copy of this book. My only regret is that I did not have it several years ago when my kid on on the spectrum was a teen.
I wish I could give this book to everyone who has a child on the autism spectrum (or any other non-NT flavors). If you worry about what's going to happen when these kids grow up; how they will ever be able to get a job and support themselves, become independent and move out; how you can get them off the computer and out of their bedrooms; how you can empower them to interact with people in socially appropriate and meaningful ways, PLEASE get a copy of this book. My only regret is that I did not have it several years ago when my kid on on the spectrum was a teen.
October 15, 2017
I enjoyed the information. The one thing that frustrated me was them constantly discussing the push for early diagnosis. This isn't really something that can always be done due to the care providers you have in your area and the fact that it is a female.
May 1, 2016
I loved the writing style. It made it an smooth read. While it mainly focussed on Asperger teens, I was able to take some tips for my kiddo who is not at that part of the spectrum.
August 9, 2017
This is a must have book if you are a parent, caregiver or professional dealing with an autism spectrum individual.
"We believe that the lessons and the suggestions in this book apply to all ages. We encourage you to use them with "kids" of any chronological age. Our goal is that parents, teachers, professionals, and anyone else who cares about an individual on the spectrum begins to lovingly guide, push, and mentor them as early as possible, and for as long as feasible."
I believe it's also a must have book for the adult on the spectrum.
I am a 49 year old autistic woman. I found this book to be profound in helping me understand myself, my weaknesses, my thinking, and what may help me overcome difficulties in life. Again and again I read things that reminded me of myself, my thinking, reactions, feelings, incidences from my childhood, my life.
The book contains a lot of real life examples including those from the life of Temple Grandin and I found that helpful.
Quotes used in the book that so well define the book are:
"Whether you think you can, or think you can't, you're probably right." Henry Ford
"Limits, like fear, are often an illusion." Michael Jordan
"Hope is a function of struggle." Brene Brown, Ph.D.
"You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality." Any Rand
"Don't let your mind bully your body into believing it must carry the burden of its's worries." Astrid Alauda
"Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn." Benjamin Franklin
We may not be able to prepare the future for our children, but we can at least prepare our children for the future." Franklin D. Roosevelt
I will read this book again in another week or so to reinforce what I've read and it's a book I should read every year at least as a reminder. Highly recommended.
"We believe that the lessons and the suggestions in this book apply to all ages. We encourage you to use them with "kids" of any chronological age. Our goal is that parents, teachers, professionals, and anyone else who cares about an individual on the spectrum begins to lovingly guide, push, and mentor them as early as possible, and for as long as feasible."
I believe it's also a must have book for the adult on the spectrum.
I am a 49 year old autistic woman. I found this book to be profound in helping me understand myself, my weaknesses, my thinking, and what may help me overcome difficulties in life. Again and again I read things that reminded me of myself, my thinking, reactions, feelings, incidences from my childhood, my life.
The book contains a lot of real life examples including those from the life of Temple Grandin and I found that helpful.
Quotes used in the book that so well define the book are:
"Whether you think you can, or think you can't, you're probably right." Henry Ford
"Limits, like fear, are often an illusion." Michael Jordan
"Hope is a function of struggle." Brene Brown, Ph.D.
"You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality." Any Rand
"Don't let your mind bully your body into believing it must carry the burden of its's worries." Astrid Alauda
"Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn." Benjamin Franklin
We may not be able to prepare the future for our children, but we can at least prepare our children for the future." Franklin D. Roosevelt
I will read this book again in another week or so to reinforce what I've read and it's a book I should read every year at least as a reminder. Highly recommended.
March 5, 2017
Very helpful. Although it was directed for parents of teens on the autism spectrum, I saw a lot that was relevant for me as a parent of a younger child on the spectrum and of neurotypical (NT) kids. The basic premise of the book was that spectrum kids are often more capable of living with greater autonomy than many of their parents or others give them credit for. This autonomy is difficult for most of them to achieve because they are so resistant to change and to learning new skills outside their areas of interest. Parents, teachers, and others need to provide them with a "loving push" in order for them to learn to live as independently as they can and for them to have satisfying adult lives.
On page 67, Temple Grandin notes that in her work with slaughterhouses, there are a handful of points that if done well, make the whole operation run smoothly. Conversely, if these points are lacking or poorly done, no other changes will make things work. She and co-author Debra Moore discuss six critical control points kids need to grow up to be successful, independent adults: 1) Take turns; 2) Cope with not always getting their way; 3) Be willing to do some things they really don't want to do; 4) Control impulsive behavior; 5) Maintain basic hygiene; and 6) Follow through on tasks (chores, volunteering, work, school assignments). These things have to be explicitly taught to most kids on the spectrum because they don't pick up on the social cues NT kids do. They also struggle to learn things outside their specific interests.
This has been absolutely true for me as we've raised our son. I remember teaching him how to put on his pants and shirt, how to use a spoon and fork, and how to use the potty; he had no interest in learning these things himself, and other life skills have been slow in coming because I had to figure out that they all had to be explicitly taught, that he wouldn't just pick them up as my younger kids have done. It's a hard thing to have a kid who isn't interested in trying those new skills because the parent is met with so much resistance every time we try to teach something new. And that resistance goes on much longer than it does with NT kids, so we think, "You know what? Is this fight really worth it? If I just do this chore myself, it will save us all a lot of anxiety in the long run." But in the even longer run, I'm doing my kid a disservice because he doesn't know how to take care of a home or do things for himself. I've then made him dependent on me in a way that simply can't continue forever.
There was a lot about video gaming and how spectrum kids' brains are wired for that kind of stimulation and even addiction. It made me think about the kinds of games my kid plays, how long, and how to help him develop interests outside the computer so his social skills will continue to develop.
My big takeaway was that I need to start teaching certain skills one at a time. If I try to teach much more than that, everyone is going to be miserable. I also need to make sure he has other things in his life besides computer games, which he enjoys playing with his dad and uncles. We have started swimming lessons again, and I've thought a lot about some of the things we can do this summer to get out and about and with other people. I'm grateful to have read this book to help me figure out what super long-term goals I should be working toward. We've even shared the list on page 67 with his therapy team so everyone is on the same page. It's good to have a direction and to hear from someone like Temple Grandin who has lived with autism her entire life and from Dr. Moore, who has worked with people on the spectrum her whole career. There is hope and autonomy ahead if we can work together to help him make the most of his brain, life, skills, and capabilities.
On page 67, Temple Grandin notes that in her work with slaughterhouses, there are a handful of points that if done well, make the whole operation run smoothly. Conversely, if these points are lacking or poorly done, no other changes will make things work. She and co-author Debra Moore discuss six critical control points kids need to grow up to be successful, independent adults: 1) Take turns; 2) Cope with not always getting their way; 3) Be willing to do some things they really don't want to do; 4) Control impulsive behavior; 5) Maintain basic hygiene; and 6) Follow through on tasks (chores, volunteering, work, school assignments). These things have to be explicitly taught to most kids on the spectrum because they don't pick up on the social cues NT kids do. They also struggle to learn things outside their specific interests.
This has been absolutely true for me as we've raised our son. I remember teaching him how to put on his pants and shirt, how to use a spoon and fork, and how to use the potty; he had no interest in learning these things himself, and other life skills have been slow in coming because I had to figure out that they all had to be explicitly taught, that he wouldn't just pick them up as my younger kids have done. It's a hard thing to have a kid who isn't interested in trying those new skills because the parent is met with so much resistance every time we try to teach something new. And that resistance goes on much longer than it does with NT kids, so we think, "You know what? Is this fight really worth it? If I just do this chore myself, it will save us all a lot of anxiety in the long run." But in the even longer run, I'm doing my kid a disservice because he doesn't know how to take care of a home or do things for himself. I've then made him dependent on me in a way that simply can't continue forever.
There was a lot about video gaming and how spectrum kids' brains are wired for that kind of stimulation and even addiction. It made me think about the kinds of games my kid plays, how long, and how to help him develop interests outside the computer so his social skills will continue to develop.
My big takeaway was that I need to start teaching certain skills one at a time. If I try to teach much more than that, everyone is going to be miserable. I also need to make sure he has other things in his life besides computer games, which he enjoys playing with his dad and uncles. We have started swimming lessons again, and I've thought a lot about some of the things we can do this summer to get out and about and with other people. I'm grateful to have read this book to help me figure out what super long-term goals I should be working toward. We've even shared the list on page 67 with his therapy team so everyone is on the same page. It's good to have a direction and to hear from someone like Temple Grandin who has lived with autism her entire life and from Dr. Moore, who has worked with people on the spectrum her whole career. There is hope and autonomy ahead if we can work together to help him make the most of his brain, life, skills, and capabilities.
January 27, 2023
Having an adult grand-daughter with Autism, I read this for useful information. Attracted by the author, Temple Grandin, and also the idea expressed in the title: The Loving Push. Throughout her life, my grand-daughter has been a nay-sayer when presented with a new idea. She needs to think it over and get used to it--and then to hear the idea again. Sometimes she will bring it up herself. But sometimes she does need a little push. The inertia when confronting the unknown can get her stuck.
Temple Grandin's personal experiences has led her to her ideas about confronting the new, so I value her insight. The stories she collected are about a certain group of people with Autism, with most achieving an education or a career and a degree of self-sufficiency. They are blessed with mentors and loving pushes when needed from others. These stories don't apply to everyone with Autism.
It is helpful to have the co-author offering conceptual explanations, and it balances out the first-person perspectives, which are of great benefit to the understanding of Autism. Integrating the first-person with the neurological understanding of brain function would be a first step in re-designing education from a mandatory-curriculum-based learning environment to a person-based 12-year program to help people tap into their own innate, often unique abilities and find a nexus with the wider world of work and socialization. Seems so far away. The search for a cause and a cure seem the overriding concern. Meanwhile, people with Autism, their families and helpers are busy creating worlds, work, art, social networks and lives of their own making.
Temple Grandin's personal experiences has led her to her ideas about confronting the new, so I value her insight. The stories she collected are about a certain group of people with Autism, with most achieving an education or a career and a degree of self-sufficiency. They are blessed with mentors and loving pushes when needed from others. These stories don't apply to everyone with Autism.
It is helpful to have the co-author offering conceptual explanations, and it balances out the first-person perspectives, which are of great benefit to the understanding of Autism. Integrating the first-person with the neurological understanding of brain function would be a first step in re-designing education from a mandatory-curriculum-based learning environment to a person-based 12-year program to help people tap into their own innate, often unique abilities and find a nexus with the wider world of work and socialization. Seems so far away. The search for a cause and a cure seem the overriding concern. Meanwhile, people with Autism, their families and helpers are busy creating worlds, work, art, social networks and lives of their own making.
August 17, 2023
In her charming, blunt, and direct tones, Dr. Temple Grandin and her co-author, Debra Moore connect with families whose autistic children struggle socially with their path forward into adulthood. "The Loving Push" is filled with information and tips to encourage and “push” our children toward independence.
The duo shares that preparing our children for success starts by giving them responsibilities in the home at an early age. “Learned helplessness” is not an option, according to Grandin. The two share that not only do early mastered tasks instill confidence in our kids, but they become building blocks for success in the future.
Reminding parents to teach their children optimism, they also recommend providing mentors to help guide the way. The lessons in the chapters cover real stories about driving, preparing for college, life skills, and using special interests to find a career. There are even thoughts shared about obsessive gaming and pitfalls with anxiety.
The team boldly preaches the disciplines of structure, detailed and specific planning, and plenty of communication while nudging our kids out into the world. Although my son has deeper challenges than those covered in this book, there are PLENTY of overlapping similarities in his journey that can still benefit from the insights between these pages.
I recommend this book. I would suggest adding it to the list of required reading for all parents of our autistic kids.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
The duo shares that preparing our children for success starts by giving them responsibilities in the home at an early age. “Learned helplessness” is not an option, according to Grandin. The two share that not only do early mastered tasks instill confidence in our kids, but they become building blocks for success in the future.
Reminding parents to teach their children optimism, they also recommend providing mentors to help guide the way. The lessons in the chapters cover real stories about driving, preparing for college, life skills, and using special interests to find a career. There are even thoughts shared about obsessive gaming and pitfalls with anxiety.
The team boldly preaches the disciplines of structure, detailed and specific planning, and plenty of communication while nudging our kids out into the world. Although my son has deeper challenges than those covered in this book, there are PLENTY of overlapping similarities in his journey that can still benefit from the insights between these pages.
I recommend this book. I would suggest adding it to the list of required reading for all parents of our autistic kids.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
October 15, 2018
I finished this one a while ago and felt there were some good things in it about kids on the spectrum who survived their school days and had been prepared to face adulthood by loving parents and adults. Good sound advice for parents raising kids who are on the spectrum and neuro-typical alike. I had to chuckle at Temple Grandin’s insights because they were so typical of what a person on the spectrum would say, but my admiration for her and what she has accomplished gives me hope for my own daughter!
June 14, 2024
This was a timely read for me as we are making plans for the next steps for my ASD teen. There was some good insight on teaching them to drive (one of our big stressors) screen time and making social connections. The statistics for underemployeed and unemployed ASD people are staggering and Grandin does a good job of showing ways of scaffolding support while pushing them to live their best life. It remains a rollercoaster ride for parents and the timeline doesn't match those of their peers but we'll get there.
August 29, 2018
This book is not a 5 star book "for me." But that is because I currently don't have any children on the autism spectrum. For those that do have kids that are ASD, then I think this would be a really good book.
Even though it didn't apply directly to my situation, there were many things I learned from it. Especially in teaching kids how to do tasks, and the importance of preparing children to be independent and live on their own.
Even though it didn't apply directly to my situation, there were many things I learned from it. Especially in teaching kids how to do tasks, and the importance of preparing children to be independent and live on their own.
January 17, 2019
As the father of a teen daughter who has recently been diagnosed with mild autism, this book was affirming, in that many of the things my wife and I have done as parents has probably been helpful, and helpful in offering insights and suggestions on how to better prepare our daughter for adulthood. While I am in no way an expert, I would consider this a must read for any parent, mentor, or significant adult of a child or youth on the Autism spectrum.
August 4, 2020
This book was filled with wonderful insights into the way people on the spectrum think. Because I occasionally work with youth who are on said spectrum, I found the creative ideas in this book to be invaluable. I'm looking forward to giving the kids I work with "loving pushes" so that they'll go on to lead rich, fulfilling lives.
I'm grateful this was written and I recommend it to anyone that wants to learn more and make a difference.
I'm grateful this was written and I recommend it to anyone that wants to learn more and make a difference.
January 12, 2021
I have enjoyed all of Temple Grandin's books. She is a good writer and it is fun to see how her writing has evolved over time. This is probably the most current book I have read from her writings and it is excellent. I am finding it so helpful as I think about parenting my children with ASD and those who are not on the spectrum. It is concise, but full of specific information about how to put the concepts into practice.
May 15, 2024
This book made me think, and it has good ideas, but it's also not saying a lot.
It's about autism and how today's technology leads autistic kids astray, leading them to spend more time isolated and unable to function without screens.
It's the same message you might give any child's parent these days, which is why this isn't ground-breaking, however Grandin's treatment is compassionate and her suggestions are wise.
It's about autism and how today's technology leads autistic kids astray, leading them to spend more time isolated and unable to function without screens.
It's the same message you might give any child's parent these days, which is why this isn't ground-breaking, however Grandin's treatment is compassionate and her suggestions are wise.
April 20, 2021
Packed full of stories and helpful thoughts/tips. A great look at what independence looks like for kids who learn and function a bit differently from the rest of us. And where the pitfalls might be/behaviors and thought patterns to watch out for. A good read for everyone these days, whether you have a kid on the spectrum or not.
March 24, 2017
Probably one of the clearest, most direct books on how to work with your child of autism I have ever read. It is a must read for nay parent with an autistic child before they have hit the teen years and what to do if you are reading after they have. I was very impressed with its message and unflinching design to say - No, you have to do this.
Highly recommend this book. It can be a game changer for you.
Highly recommend this book. It can be a game changer for you.
July 19, 2018
An excellent, valuable, encouraging resource packed with practical information to help high functioning ASD teens and young adults. I’m certain we’ll be referring back to it often over the next several years.
February 27, 2019
As a mother with an ASD teen, I found this book to be helpful. It’s easy to understand, practical, and has doable suggestions in helping high-functioning ASD teens become more self-sufficient. Overall a good resource to have.
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