A God Who Hates Women

by Majid Rafizadeh

For a woman in a male-dominated society, ‘choice' is an alien word. And inequality, violence, injustice, abuse, and discrimination a daily living reality. A God Who Hates Women is an emotional journey through a labyrinth of violence and civil war. It’s a journey through a battlefield riddled with archaic cultural demands and explosive emotions . . . where a mother and her son struggle to navigate through a cruel patriarchal society in an attempt to survive. To live. Will endurance and courage overcome daily abuse? Will a crumbling homeland deprive a young boy of his right to identity? Will it wipe away all dreams of a future? A myriad of memories and experiences are woven together in this riveting true tale of one family’s heartbreaking struggle through the mire of religion, politics, war and their unwavering hope for peace.

Genres: Middle East

264 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2015

Reviews

[Krutika · Rating 4 out of 5]

| R E V I E W |
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Over the course of time, I have read many books that infuriated me to no end. And when I chose this piece of biography, I mentally prepared myself to expect the worst but it somehow still managed to shock me. Set in Syria and Iran during the Islamic revolution(1979) this story is one's idea of a nightmare. Based on the life of the author's mother, this story is truly very disturbing. Dr Rafizadeh had a difficult childhood, often witnessing his mother being battered at the hands of his father. But what I couldn't understand was the detached manner in which he wrote this book.
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Amira was born into a poverty ridden family to a hateful mother and a neglectful father. At a time when girls were considered as a burden, Amira took over household chores and looked after her siblings from a very young age. In spite of her good grades, she was forced to quit school and was married to a man who was almost twenty years older than her. Her marriage was a disaster from the very beginning, as she often ended up being beaten. Soon, she moves back to her maternal home only to be treated as a servant where everyone considered her unlucky. Her second marriage, which starts off on a good note what with her husband appearing charming and kind turns out very similar to the first one. She finds herself at a loss of words when she realises that her husband is already married.
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Amira's character is one that oozes warmth and kindness yet all that she receives from the people around her is hostility. Her life in Syria grows difficult with every passing year as she bears the brunt of hatred from her husband and his first wife. With no support from her maternal family, she was often left all alone. While half of the book talks about his mother's hardships, it suddenly takes an abrupt turn and focuses more on his education. In addition to the personal incidents of his life, he has also shed light on the cultural and political situations of both Iran and Syria. As much as I would have loved to know more about the author's journey as a student and then as a working man, I couldn't help but feel disappointed by how the book deviated from staying true to its title.
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There's no doubt that this book is highly disconcerting in nature and I often felt enraged by the manner in which women were treated in the name of religion and scriptures. Rafizadeh often quotes verses from Quran and Hadith that men used to vent out their anger at women or to curb their sense of individuality. It's heartbreaking to see how men had (still have) a strong hold on their wives and daughters, leaving them deprived of a decent education and life in general. He even describes the disgusting and unbelievable manner in which young boys were raped in his father's village and how it was considered masculine for men to do so.
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Albeit the story was intense and well described, I couldn't help but feel dejected at how the book turned out to be. The title seemed mismatched and fell short of my expectations of being a female oriented book. If you're looking for an eye opener, the sort that puts in display the dirty laundry of many families and how thousands of women were and are still supressed even in mordern times, then pick this one up.
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Rating - 3.8/5.

[Roshini · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a gut wrenching book. Based on the author's mother's experience growing up and living in Syria and Iran, the book gives us a glimpse of what life is like in West Asia and North Africa. Rafizadeh's writing is simple, but he is able to hold your attention through the narrative. Parts of the book almost seem too cruel to be real, but in the current context of the Syrian refugee crisis, it becomes more believable. I'm not particularly fond of the title of the book, because while religion does play a significant role in the enforcement of patriarchal norms, I think the cultural and political milieu are greater contributors. Though, it could be argued that, in societies like Syria and Iran, separating religion from culture/ tradition is itself impossible, considering the increasing Islamaphobia in the world, I'd have used discretion for the title. It is provocative, and at the end of the day, the book first caught my eye because of the name.

[Vishakha Tiwari · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very poignant tale, very contemporary, very relevant. Got the book as a giveaway. Finished the book in one go. The book raises many questions in the mind and compels you to contemplate. It's raw, bold and most importantly, honest.

[Nandini Jayakumar · Rating 4 out of 5]

A riveting, heart-rending account of the lives of people in the middle east. There is nothing to like about the contents of the book, and every time u turn a page, u dread about what u will read next. It's not just the condition of women that surprises me, because that phenomenon is not unique to any particular religion, but how even the most progressive men subscribed to orthodox notions when it came to women's rights and sought religion to justify their actions. Why have our religions always treated women like second class citizens! The best part about the book is how it deals with discrimination at multiple levels; gender, familial and nationality based. It was an educational read, and as an Indian, what this book has reinforced in me is the belief that religion and state should never be allowed to mix! Maybe a rethink of the Indian brand of secularism is in order!

[Kalyan Panja · Rating 4 out of 5]

The pages follow each other with incredible surprise, where nothing is taken for granted. The ingredients are mixed thoroughly to gratify the reader's consciousness. Some scenes are really very strong but the story is fascinating and moving. The characters are realistic and the setting is perhaps all too well described in some places become raw and edgy. A novel to be read in one breath that is able to kidnap the reader from the first page with excellent descriptions and characters. Excellent plot, always engaging the content is always exciting. This is a book that can dig into the soul of the reader and leave them stunned for a few days. Hard, sad, threatening, happy, dirty, dark, harmonious, are just some of the adjectives that express the emotions that the story gives the reader.

[Uma]

When I thought of buying this book, I was not sure how it will be. Once I started reading, couldn't stop reading it. The author who is the main protagonist gives a detailed and very chilling narration of his life in Syria and Iran. He has mentioned how the religion was used to suppressed the brightest and rational mind (of which his father was a victim) and how it enforces a patriarchal society.

[Jane Rogers · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sadly enlighting

Millions of females have no idea they live a life that does not have to be. When will we as fellow humans save them?

[Usman Riaz · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's as if Rafizadeh has tried to say too much in just one book.
For writing the book Rafizadeh has interviewed a lot of people in his family and the difference in narrative shows that; appears to contradict every 20 pages. The book isn't well written and the sometimes fails to make a point, which usually happens when the driving force behind the narration is emotion.

A God Who Hates Women documents the problems in both Iran and Syria: politics, patriarchy, society, prejudice.

Rafizadeh must have a lot of interesting stories and that is evident from the book, however instead of going into depth into any one of them, he simply skims over a lot of them, and ultimately fails to make much of a connection with the reader.

[Sankalpita (bookGeeks India) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Taking place in both Syria and Iran, A God Who Hates Women paints a harrowing picture of the world that Dr Majid grew up in. Drawing inspiration from his mother’s experiences, this true story delves into deeply unsettling territory.

It’s a profound exploration of a battleground marked by ancient cultural pressures and intense emotions—a place where a mother and her son grapple with the harsh realities of a patriarchal society in their fight for survival and the simple desire to thrive.

In addition to recounting his mother’s story, Dr. Rafizadeh delves into his own upbringing, growing up with dual identities as both an Iranian (from his father’s side) and a Syrian (from his mother’s side). This unique background equipped him with valuable skills and opened doors to diverse experiences and opportunities in his life.

Read the detailed review - https://www.bookgeeks.in/a-god-who-ha...

[Aparna Singh · Rating 2 out of 5]

A book that perhaps began with lofty goals but is very poorly written, with none of its major themes really fully explored.

The most interesting and deeply felt bits are about the author’s mother as a young woman and her difficult marriages and life; yet as she grows older, she completely fades out of the picture and we never really learn what she felt about her own life or how the men in her life treated her. We don’t even learn if she is religious or not and how she reconciles (or not) with how religion is used to keep her down.

Similarly the authors father is a hazy figure - someone who is at once a rebel against the Islamic regime and questions religion and yet uses it to suppress his wife - of course people can be paradoxical but we learn little about who he really is.

The author’s own education and how he manages to get to where he is despite the odds, are also glossed over. Big chunks of his life history, such as the part where he mentions military service, are totally unclear.

Perhaps most importantly, the title’s claim is never really examined fully. If the contention is that a particular religion is opposed to women, then the author never really examines the confluence of Islam and Middle Eastern culture, or whether Islam is in fact applied in the same way in all places or whether women in other places in the world don’t face oppression.

[Pallavi Dedhia · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very touchy story, emotional and almost gives u goosebumps at times. Set in the backdrop of Syria and Iran, it shows u the actual picture of the state of women there and the conditions on whole. The strength with which they handle situations is outstanding.... Lovely book!!!

[Mahita · Rating 2 out of 5]

Short Take: Not for faint hearted or feminists. A rendition of the life of oppressed women.. perhaps a better title would be: "Society that loves cruelty"!

[Madhuri Palaji · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful Book

I repeat.. 'THIS IS THE BIOGRAPHY OF THE AUTHOR's MOTHER'. The incidents detailed in this book are not imaginary and fictitious. I'm sure this book would have been criticised immensely if it was fiction. 


Author says, " Religious ideologies can justify even the most horrible crimes against humanity by claiming that such acts are warranted in order to serve their God."  Extremely well said.


I'm at loss of words after reading this book. I know there are plenty of such women around us and the things they put up with breaks my heart. The book is about Majid's mother who is born in Syrian family, various incidents of her life and her struggle to give decent life to her kids. 


Author says that girls were taught from early age that marriage is the sole purpose of a girl and they have no say in choosing their partner. "A girl, my mother and her sisters had been repeatedly told, should always be grateful when a man—no matter who he was, what he looked like, or how old he was—agreed to take her as his wife. Nothing could blemish a man. “Just being a man and having that male sexual organ makes men irreproachable,” my grandmother had often joked." - quotes the author.


I will mention a simple situation that deeply implies the insignificance of the girl child. "In the Arab world, people usually refer to a person not by the name given to them, but through their children. Therefore, a person will be either ‘the mother of—’ or ‘the father of —’ and it is generally the name of the oldest son that is used to establish this indirect form of reference. In cases where the oldest child is a girl, the name of the younger son is used, and if the person doesn’t have any sons, then people use the name of a boy which the father desires to have in the future." 

Imagine.. an unborn son is worth more than an alive girl, according to them.


Talking about the so-called religious women who think low of the fellow women who go to universities and work alongside men, author says, " Whether these women truly believed in what they were saying is something open to questioning, but when indoctrination starts at the womb, then it is difficult to weed out the truth from an acquired belief. Were these women expressing honest opinions or were they simply repeating words which the male-dominated society around them had drilled into them?" How true!   


There is an incident in this book I would like to quote. 


'A 7 yr old kid sneaks into school without his father's knowledge. When he excels at academics, the principal comes to talk to his father to suggest that he goes to a better school. But the father after finding out that the son was going to school without going to work, that too a school that teaches western information, he beats the kid and orders him to stop going to school. The kid begs to let him go to school. The father then asks the kid, 'How does sun rises and sets?' The kid with the knowledge he acquired at school tells explains about the axis, earth's rotation and all. The father grows angrier and beats the kid more saying, 'This is what those westerners teach. They are infidels. The sun raises because 70000 angels push the sun up and sets because 70000 angels bring it down.' That day, that kid's heart breaks and decides he won't believe in a religion that stopped him from going to school.'



Many such scenarios are described in this book. Denial of education and basic rights for girl child, child marriages, polyamory, lack of birth control, domestic abuse, rape culture, etc.  You can also find many number of facts about the situation in Iran and Syria, poverty, civil war, repression, prisons, refuge camps and many more. I recommend everyone to read this book.


Author of this book, Dr Majid Rafizadeh graduated from Harvard and is now a renowned Iranian-American political scientist and president of the International American Council on the Middle East. He serves on the board of Harvard International Review of Harvard International Relations Council.


He accredits all his success to his mother's sacrifices and hard work to provide food and other basic needs. 

[Rima Sarmin · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5/5

"𝙒𝙚'𝙧𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙪𝙘𝙠 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚. 𝙒𝙚 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙥𝙚𝙤𝙥𝙡𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙢𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙙𝙞𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙨. 𝙒𝙚'𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙛𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙙 𝙤𝙛 𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙢𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 '𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚' 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙖𝙡 𝙛𝙧𝙖𝙢𝙚𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙠 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙨 𝙗𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙙 𝙙𝙤𝙬𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙪𝙨 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙘𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙬."

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Amira had a dream to get educated and pursue her dreams. Like many other Syrian women, her dream was shattered when her parents married her off with a man at least twenty years older than her. She suffered from endless abuse until she could not take it anymore. Finally, she left her abusive husband.

But like many other divorced women of patriarch culture, Amira became a worse burden to her paternal folks. Then again her mother got rid of her by marrying her to an Iranian man, without bothering to learn who the man really was or what he did for a living.

Amira set out from Syria to Iran, with a stranger to a strange country, believing that life would not be bad after everything she suffered. Little did she know that her new nightmare was about to begin.

The following years of her life would be full of abuse, verbal and physical, she would suffer from the loss and many more.

This is the picture of many male-dominated countries around the world. Yet, it is a hard-to-read story.

The title is quite an exaggerated version of what the book is about. But it is the title that made me get the book. So the writer did a good job here.

The book is what we can say an autobiography and a biography of the author and his mother. Most of the book contains the story of the author's mother's struggle. But it also tells the author's story.

It was raw, intense, heart-wrenching. The writing style makes you keep on reading until the end. However, the storytelling could have been better.

The author failed to draw a proper ending. Otherwise, it would have been a 4/5 worthy book.

[Surbhi Jain · Rating 3 out of 5]

Inspired by a true story. This book is about the struggles of the author's mother in Syria and later on in Iran. Though it talks mainly about how men use their twisted version of Qur'an to justify the atrocities they inflict on the women, the pain and struggles are true for any woman who grows up in a predominantly patriarchal society.
How his mother's struggles and his ethnicity or mixed parentage shape his views, his persona and his career form the rest of the book.

The story about his mother is very heartwrenching, especially her treatment at the hands of the first husband. Her struggles are all too real and overall the book keeps the reader engaged. It is on the lines of "not without my daughter" and "the princess trilogy" and explains the civil and political struggles of Iran and Syria over the years very beautifully.

What I didn't like about the book was that it felt like a sacrificial narrative where nothing seems to go right for the author or his mother. Why the rest of his siblings don't have similar leanings or career is a question that is left unanswered. Also, the character of the father is full of contradictions and seems a little exaggerated in parts.
Also, some story arcs probably needed closure, like what happened to Bashar and Basem or to Divah and her other kids or if his father ever found out the truth about Sakineh and her schemes.
Another minor problem is that there were grammatical mistakes and editing errors which could have been avoided before the final product was published.

[thebookishwoman · Rating 4 out of 5]

After a really long reading slump, I actually wanted to read something light and something that is not too heavy on my emotions or does not leave me with innumerable questions about the status of women in a conservative society. However, the provocative title of this book attracted my attention and here I am sitting with a heavy heart after finishing this book.
This book is a heart-rending and gut-wrenching narrative based on the author’s mother’s experience growing up, living and surviving in a religious, political, war-torn and patriarchal society. Certain parts in the book are so cruel that you may need a minute or a few days to recover from the quiet pain the words put you in. This book is very contemporary and very relatable. There are different women mentioned throughout the book, and through these poignant stories of courageous women who have defied societal expectations, this book unveils the harsh realities they endure while also instilling a sense of optimism for a more just future.
If I have to pick the best part of the book, it would be how even the educated progressive men take shelter under the guise of religion to impose their unjust rules and justify their torture, misogyny and patriarchy.
Though I am not a fan of the title of the book for obvious reasons, I did gain an understanding of the author’s perspective after finishing this book. In conclusion, religion and politics should never be allowed to overlap. If that happens, even the brightest and logical minds can be suppressed and it’s just puppetry in the end.

[Anil Dhingra · Rating 3 out of 5]

I ordered this book with anticipation of an excellent reading experience but realised that the title is misleading.
Except for a few quotes from the Muslim texts there is nothing to suggest that God has willed treating women as inferior.
The story is about the life of the author Dr Majid, born to an Iranian father and Syrian mother. He has spent his life in both the countries, both with the worst human rights record. The worst sufferer in the book is his mother, more at the hands of her own family -- mother, husband, husband's first wife -- than the country or the Muslim society.
The book is too dark as the author has only dwelled on the bad incidents of the family. When he describes his father as the oppressor he makes him sound the worst man. When the same father suffers at the hands of the governments it is the latter who faces the entire blame. What about the monster deserving what he got.
Too unidimensional. To be fair, the book is a learning experience about life and culture of Iran and Syria. Plus the book was written over 7 years back. Since then the author, who had a tough life, must have definitely become more balanced now.
There are better books in the same genre.

[Shrestha · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book 'A God who hated women' is myriad of memories and experiences of author Dr. Majid Rafizadeh. The story is a backdrop of Syria and Iran and talks about the plight of women in these countries.
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The story starts with author's grandmother and mother's life in between oppression and discrimination in the name of religion.
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The cruelty in few parts of the book seems almost impossible to believe. I kept wondering how one human can treat another human in such a horrific cruel way.
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This book definitely worth the read. This is a poignant tale which makes you question humanity.

[Sanchita Patra · Rating 2 out of 5]

I did not like this book. It felt like some random incidents have been haphazardly put together. The beginning was good with the heart-wrenching description of the painful early life of the author's mother. But then the focus shifted towards the author's own life and the book got lost in the midway. And most importantly the title is somewhat misleading and there's no justification of the title in the whole book.

[Wari Singh · Rating 3 out of 5]

Honestly, I expected this book to be something entirely different. I did enjoy reading it particularly since I don’t think I have ever read any book based in Syria. I learnt quite a lot about the authoritative regimes as well as cultures and societies of Iran and Syria. However, the title of the book is so misleading. It’s not so much about “a woman’s journey” as it is about a man’s. 🤦🏻‍♀️😑

[Aditi Singh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another nerve-wracking, plaintive and voguish true story of the author and his mother’s life through the ambuscade of religion, politics and war. Rafizadeh’s simple yet absorbing narrative will leave you contemplating. Another quick and easy read that took me almost a day to finish with well portrayed and crude characters.

[Barun Ghosh · Rating 4 out of 5]

An autobiography of sorts which makes one realise the incredible hardships faced by the author who grew up between two dictatorships. From sleeping in parks & scrimping to save every penny for his penny, this story is inspirational from the point of view of an average citizen with “no contacts” in the state machinery.

[Manisha Verma · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's a book that contains multiple lifetimes and lives in just over a 200 pages. Gripping narrative of author's own experiences.

Once you start you can't keep it down. A must read to anyone who wants to know more about Syria, Iran and ita people.

[Chitra Mohan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Truly moving account of what its like to be a women in an authoritarian pseudo religious political system. Was very keen to know if Dr Rafizadeh has had the chance to meet up with his mother since he left for the USA.

[Simrit Singh · Rating 3 out of 5]

Writing was below average even though the story was heartbreaking and how the author overcame all his difficulties and problems to become successful and so educated is a testament to his own perseverance and capabilities. Very very impressive.

[Natalie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Title is completely misleading. This was mostly a book about the authors life and not at all about Allah and the mistreatment of Muslim women in Arab countries.

[Aditi · Rating 3 out of 5]

the book was heartbreaking to read, yet unstoppable, I finished it in like 3 sittings. I felt so sad for author's mother and for all the other women living in such conditions.

[dharvish pk · Rating 5 out of 5]

After reading this book, the fondness inclined towards author's mother is indefinable. the epilogue made me emotionally collapsed! Majid Rafizadeh is such an inspiration and motivation to all! a must read book.

[Anoushka Awasthi · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book primarily talks about the life of women in countries like Syria, Iraq and others. It speaks about the injustice done to the women out here in the name of religion. It is a great read if you are interested in knowing about the challenges faced by women living in these countries. Every line that I read made me thank god for where I am and where I am born.

[Edush · Rating 4 out of 5]

Yazarın annesinin ve kendisinin hayat hikayesinin anlatıldığı kitapta, her şey çok çarpıcı, çok acı ve maalesef bunları hala yaşamaya devam edenler var. Elinize aldığınızda bırakamadığınız, akıcı ve sarsıcı bir kitap.