The Dutch are different.
One Christmas my mother gave my Dutch grandfather a gift pack of expensive soap. He opened his lovingly wrapped present, looked up at my mother and asked, in all sincerity - 'Do you think I smell?'.
This incident (brought up many times over the years since) didn't translate well into polite British-New Zealand culture, but if my mother had read Ben Coates' fascinating book Why the Dutch are Different she would have understood that Grandad was just being direct, open and blunt, common Dutch characteristics which I find rather endearing.
Coates' book is an engaging, page-turning trip through both the physical country that is the Netherlands and the psychological landscape of the Dutch mind, going far beyond the weed, cheese n' prostitution stereotypes commonly held overseas. Coates knows the Dutch well, and brings an outsider's perspective to their interesting and in many ways astonishingly successful society.
Coates tells a story of a nation that has developed a stable, orderly and appealing non-partisan democracy, where individual freedoms are cherished at the same time as obligations to fellow citizens and the state are respected.
This is a society with many interesting contradictions and quirks. The Dutch are rich, yet work fewer hours than almost anyone. They are liberal, but strictly enforce laws that can seem petty to outsiders. They are commercially successful, but have a generous welfare state. They are orderly, but go crazy (and sometimes get violent) when their favorite football team is playing. They are internationalists, but also fiercely love their country.
Coates also delves into Dutch history, linking many events and trends in the past to Dutch culture today. The Dutch have spent centuries pushing back the ocean and holding life threatening floods at bay with their dikes, and in the twentieth century had to rebuild after years of brutal Nazi rule. Coates argues that this has formed their national character. The Netherlands is a communal country where working together, including all voices in the national conversation and the pursuit of common goals are valued, something that is perhaps natural when heroic mass efforts are what has kept the sea from swamping their entire nation.
However, it's not all cheese and applecake, and Dutch society does have quirks that are uncomfortable for some outsiders.
The ongoing Dutch love of Zwarte Piet (Black Pete)is one of these oddities. In the Dutch tradition of Christmas, Zwarte Piet is the local equivalent of elves in other nations- Santa's helpers. However, in The Netherlands Zwarte Piet is black (soot black) and is played by white Netherlanders who paint their faces, redden their lips, wear afros and put oversized gold earrings on. For those of us in post-blackface nations this tradition is well, a bit dodgy.
However, Coates notes that if you want to have a friendly conversation with a Dutch person Do Not bring up Zwarte Piet. Netherlanders mostly see it as a harmless tradition that children enjoy and they struggle to see it as racist. Disagreeing with this sentiment will likely see you labelled as a foreigner who 'just doesn't get it'.
Overall however, Coates shows us a society that is generally very just, charmingly welcoming and amazingly happy. He writes well, and reflectively, openly pondering how moving to the Netherlands has changed him, and contrasting his old home (The U.K) with his new.
If you love a Dutch person, have ever wanted to visit The Netherlands, or have wondered how a tiny country crammed with seventeen million people has played such a large role on the world stage then I can't recommend this book enough. It's a fun, engaging window into a unique culture and both the highs and lows of being a newcomer in a foreign land.
Postscript:
As a person of Dutch descent this book helped me understand many of the strange habits of my father, uncles and grandparents. After reading this book and recently visiting the Netherlands I feel a far greater connection to my Dutch roots.
However, Coates' book was at times a sad read for me. My grandparents migrated from the Netherlands in the 1950s, and lived under Nazi rule during the war. I knew that times were tough (My uncle, born during the war years, suffered malnutrition as a child and has always been of small stature) but I had no idea how much they suffered. The 'Hunger Winter' of 1944-5 saw thousands die from starvation, with bodies lying in the streets and people destroying public parks in their desperation for firewood.
Imagining my kindly grandparents in this scenario is genuinely painful, and I wish I had learned more about my heritage earlier, and that I had been able to sit with them while they were still alive and empathize with all that they had been through.
For this and other reasons mine has been a bittersweet cultural re-connection, but I guess journeys of self-discovery rarely sail only in safe seas.