When a Friend Dies: A Book for Teens About Grieving & Healing

by Marilyn E. Gootman

The death of a friend is a wrenching event for anyone at any age. Teenagers especially need help coping with this painful loss. This sensitive book answers questions grieving teens often have, like “How should I be acting?” “Is it wrong to go to parties and have fun?” and “What if I can’t handle my grief on my own?” The advice is gentle, non-preachy, and compassionate; the author has seen her own children suffer from the death of a friend, and she knows what teens go through. The revised edition includes new quotes from teens, new resources, and new insights into losing a friend through violence. Also recommended for parents and teachers of teens who have experienced a painful loss. Foreword by R.E.M. singer/songwriter Michael Stipe.

Genres: Nonfiction, Grief

128 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1994

Reviews

[Kris · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found that this is a comprehensive, easy to understand guide for older children and teens who have a had a friend die. It is short, and each section can be read in any order. I know that in times of grief, I, an EXTREMELY avid reader, have had a hard time processing complex and weighty works about anything, especially grief. Therefore, I think this is a fantastic format for a topic like this. It is simple, encouraging, and practical. It is not preachy at all, and there are some great quotes. It doesn't shy away from saying that this book is probably not going to be all the help you need. It has lots of resources, phone numbers, websites, and encouragement to find help through counseling or therapy. It is short, but I don't find that a disadvantage here. And there are no answers, but that is because death of a young person just has none. It does not try to make sense of something that shouldn't make sense.

[Sahara Scott · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this to be a good overview of grief and healing. I think it's short enough for a teen who may just want to know more after a friend or someone they knew died. I could see a browsing teen flipping through it, but have a hard time imagining a teen searching for this book. I found it relatable a a adult as well.

[Stacey Lihs · Rating 2 out of 5]

Maybe a little too simple for what my daughter needs...

Glosses over death and dying in a very general way. Definitely not suitable for older teens, nor for younger perceptive kids who need answers.

[Neilan Quach · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book guides teenagers through many different ways to ease their grief. First, Gootman defines what grief is and how it affects our bodies. She states that grief is a normal feeling of a human being after losing someone they truly love from the bottom of their heart. She emphasizes that people grieve differently; some will cry while others do not, and some talk openly while others stay quiet. By explaining these ideas, the author helps the readers understand that there is no right or wrong way to grieve. The book also explores the feelings of guilt and self-blame. This thinking might harm our bodies. People with anxiety might harm themselves, experience headaches, or have trouble sleeping. Having an understanding of these reactions could help teens recognize that grief affects both mentally and physically.

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

While this book seemed a bit superficial to me, I guess it could be useful for a grieving teen to let them know they are not alone in what they are feeling.

[Katy Lovejoy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thankfully I have not needed this book. But man am I glad it exists! It's the perfect book to give to someone who needs it.

[Elisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

**** As far as self-help books go,this one is great! It has a format which allows the reader to read as much of the book as he/she wants. It is not preachy in tone or nature. The author, Marilyn E. Gootman, does a nice job of validating the wide range of feelings a person might experience when dealing with the death of a friend or even an aquaintance. There are quotes from real teens throughout to book as well as resources in the back of organizations that can help such as the National Hopeline Network. Each resource has the contact information for it along with a brief description of what the resource/organization is/does. This book also asks the reader probing questions to help get thinking/discussions started. Questions such as, "How many ways can you have fun without hurting or endangering yourself or others? The questions go along with the section, in this case the section was about not engaging in dangerous or risky behaviors because you feel like you might die young too and should live it up while you still can.

Anyone could pick up this book and benefit (there are even resources for adults in the back).

[Alexander Davidson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nice and easy read for any teen who has experienced loss. The book is tinier than a normal paperback, and each page can have a paragraph or two to a single quote. This is not a daunting book to behold, which is perfect when trying to motivate a teen to pick it up and read it.

I liked that it had tons of different topics and scenarios from feeling lost, sad, angry, etc. It addresses issues like staying healthy and reaching out to others. It seriously had every possibility accounted for. So if the teen wants to read the whole book or just find out how to deal with parents who "don't get it", the teen can read the whole book or just find important chunks to check out. Each section also comes with helpful suggestions for making things better and moving forward.

[Jash]

its a great book for people who need advice when a friend dies

[Elizabeth Jules Mason · Rating 3 out of 5]

Review on my blog: http://moonlighttotwilightblog.blogsp...

[JARED FITE]

I though the book was awesome

When the kids friend died they were not to touch his deck or look at it. everyone got mad he died some people wish they had died in the car accident instead of him