I expected this to be just like his songs are, but it's even better. It has the same mix of self-irony, spirituality, and eroticism, and reads just like a journal. He even has a poem dedicated to his diary, and it feels like he's talking to the actual book you're reading.
It's nice that the poems reflect some of the events of his life, too, especially his time experimenting with Buddhism and living in a monastery, trying to find a deeper spirituality, and falling just short of it. The regular desires and disillusions, those he was so apt at writing about, are responsible for preventing his full immersion into the zen lifestyle, and I think we're all lucky not to have 'lost' him to it.
I also loved the little doodles and self-portraits scribbled in between poems, throughout the book. They're fragile and beautiful, sometimes a bit sarcastic too, and most of the time playful. I also like how the collection also includes a little introduction he wrote for Chinese readers for one of his previous books, Beautiful Losers. That intro is so beautiful that it definitely deserved to be counted as a poem in itself, so including it makes total sense.
Not that the volume is all poetry (and drawings), mind you. Lyrical prose excerpts are also a thing. You have to just read for yourself, one beautiful page at a time. The pervading theme throughout the entire collection is, of course, longing, the feeling Cohen is so adept at projecting. It's not all erotic longing, either, but also the more elusive varieties of spiritual longing, longing after a previous version of yourself that's been irreversibly lost, and so on.
Here are some of my favorite bits, and which are generally less well-known. (I don't need to quote the beautiful lyrics to A Thousand Kisses Deep, for example, which are included in this collection - in both versions).
“I followed the course
From chaos to art
Desire the horse
Depression the cart”
-----------------------
HOW COULD I HAVE DOUBTED
I stopped looking for you
I stopped waiting for you
I stopped dying for you
and I started dying for myself
I aged rapidly
I became fat in the face
and soft in the gut
and I forgot that I’d ever loved you
I was old
I had no focus, no mission
I wandered around eating and buying
bigger and bigger clothes
and I forgot why I hated
every long moment that was mine to fill
Why did you come back to me tonight
I can’t even get off this chair
Tears run down my cheeks
I am in love again
I can live like this
------------------------------
“I was one of the things that was put into Jana. Once you have been put in, you have been put in forever. That is love. Sometimes it is greater than Death, sometimes smaller, sometimes the same size.”
-------------------------------
SPLIT
What can I do
with this love of mine
with this hairy knob
with this poison wine
Who shall I take
to the edge of despair
with my knee on her heart
and my lips in her hair
So I’ll take all my love
and I’ll split it in two
and there’s one part for me
and there’s one part for you
And we’ll drink the wine
and we’ll hide the staff
and the lover will groan
and the other will laugh
And I’ll go to your bed
and I’ll lie by your side
and I’ll bury the bones
and I’ll marry the bride
And you’ll do the same
when you come to my room
You’ll dig in my dirt
and you’ll bury the groom
And I swear by this love
which is living and dead
that we will be separate
and we will be wed
------------------------
LOOKING AWAY
you would look at me
and it never occurred to me
that you might be choosing
the man of your life
you would look at me
over the bottles and the corpses
and I thought
you must be playing with me
you must think I’m crazy enough
to step behind your eyes
into the open elevator shaft
so I looked away
and I waited
until you became a palm tree
or a crow
or the vast grey ocean of wind
or the vast grey ocean of mind
now look at me
married to everyone but you
------------------------
“I gave her something pretty
And I waited ’til she laughed
I wasn’t born a gypsy
To make a woman sad”
-------------------------
BECAUSE OF A FEW SONGS
Because of a few songs
wherein I spoke of their mystery,
women have been
exceptionally kind
to my old age.
They make a secret place
in their busy lives
and they take me there.
They become naked
in their different ways
and they say,
“Look at me, Leonard
look at me one last time.”
Then they bend over the bed
and cover me up
like a baby that is shivering.
------------------------
“I want to love you now
I want to love you then
I want to love you never
And then begin again
All the tassels of my belt
Go flying in the sky
When you bend down to laugh at me
From your place on high
I want to be the fool
The one you send away
After you have used him up
Every second day
I want to be the rose
You beckon with a yawn
Limping on a thorny crutch
Across the burning lawn
See what you have done to me
As if you give a shit
I used to live behind a line
But now I’m over it
I won’t come back to say goodbye
I’ll never leave your side
Until I am the other man
And you are someone’s bride
Sit down on my memory
When you are in pain
When you are in pleasure
Sit down on it again”
.