Superhuman Social Skills: A Guide to Being Likeable, Winning Friends, and Building Your Social Circle

by Tynan

The people we surround ourselves with may impact our lives more than any other factor, and yet most people leave their social lives to chance. What would happen if you treated social skills as though they were indeed skills, and became proactive about your social life?Superhuman Social Skills is a transformative book which analyzes and explains how to be likeable, how to converse, how to tell stories, how to make friends, and how to combine those friends to create an incredible social circle.If you ever feel socially awkward, don't know what to say, or wish you had more or better friends, Superhuman Social Skills is for you.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Communication, Relationships, Personal Development, Social, Psychology

123 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 22, 2015

Reviews

[Rafal Szymanski · Rating 3 out of 5]

> "The group of people you surround yourself with will dictate the course of your life more than any other factor"

I have been following Tynan and his blog for a while now. He is the person who got me interested in minimalism and who influenced me to pack just a tiny 22L backpack for an extended trip in South-East Asia. If you interested in minimalism, travel or an unconventional lifestyle I definitely recommend you have a look at Tynan's blog.

I grabbed this book just because of the author as I think he's fascinating. I liked the book. It's short, just at 150 pages, so it's not a big commitment. I enjoyed that the book is written with personal stories and anecdotes, and not as a laundry list and reference list of research studies which is a formula a lot of self-help books nowadays seem to follow. While possibly more factually correct, it's easier to engage with personal stories such as those Tynan presents us here.

The main topics covered are:
* The different levels of communication during a conversation. You will have the direct logical content, a meta-level where you communicate without talking, an emotional level which is for eliciting emotional responses, and a status level for calibrating your conversation with people of different social strata than you
* Storytelling: By getting better at telling stories you will have more engaging conversations with your friends and make their and your time more enjoyable. Learn how to tell stories well and calibrate to know what story to use for how and just how much detail to include so as to not bore people clearly not interested in the topic.
* Close friends vs acquaintances: Strongly prefer to spend time with your close friends rather than acquaintances if you know that your friendship with the acquaintance is unlikely to convert to a close friendship. You and your close friend will both derive more value than if you spent it with an acquaintance. Of course you must also be able to figure out which acquaintances might possibly turn into a very good close friend. Finally, make sure to nurture your relationships with your close friends. Think of them more deeply from time to time and the influence they had on your life. Don't get accustomed and take them for granted.
* Friend groups: You should have a close friend group where every person in it is in a win-win situation - for every unit of effort/value put in, they get more back. Their lives are "disproportionally improved by being part of the group". In other words the friend group is synergistic. In an optimum group every person in the group should be close friends with every other person. Notice this means you should keep your friend group not too large.

While the book doesn't have too much actionable content, I liked it as it made me stop and think whether I am investing enough into close friendships and friend groups. The personal storytelling and the fact that I am familiar with Tynan made the book more enjoyable.

Final tidbit quote on close friends:

> "They are the people whose success feels almost as good as your own".

[Bouke · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short and sweet book that goes through the mechanics of human interaction and how to get more out of your interaction with friends and new people. It's basically a series of short blogposts in book format, going through topics like 'how to tell a story', 'how to make a friend group' and 'how to remember people's names'.

It's a valuable book that I'll probably re-read at some point just to refresh my memory.

[Sai · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought this book was surprisingly grounded and impactful, for its rather compact size. I half expected a Tim Ferris like tone to the book (some amount of survivor bias and slightly half baked ideas, but otherwise good in a utilitarian way); but, I was wrong. The author seemed like he had a lot of depth to him, and his advice came from that depth, which was cool.

I really liked the way he broke down communication into the content, meta, emotional and status components. Of all the communication books I have read that try to break human communication down into sub levels, I found this particular categorization the most satisfying.

All in all, this is a really short book, and I finished in one afternoon - and the book talks about all the right things, in my opinion at least, when it comes to social/communication topics. It don't mess around too much. I'd recommend to anyone; its very modern and relevant.

[Thambidurai S · Rating 5 out of 5]

Here are few notes that I made as I was reading.

In the process of inculcating new or developing older social skills, we may come across as manipulative, deceptive or disingenuous. (if someone is trying to be friendly with me, why in the world would I complain?)

The only true happy friendship memories are from childhood. Why?

I must be able to relate to someone with whom i have very little in common (all strata of society - social skills ) ( This makes one comfortable and confident in a variety of situations)

Social circles encompass inner nucleus and outer layer. Inner nucleus gets to decide who comes, who stays and who quits. Being a net addition is important in a social situation. (Being neutral is as good as being negative). → I have to ensure to be a net addition in all social situations which will lead to me being invited to more events

Our Habits and close friend group influence our life, thoughts behaviors and opinions most. Create a quality friend group that challenges and supports me and teaches me.

Friendship is an investment. Tolerate them for long enough. The more you put in, the more you can draw out. I must stop keeping an account of everything.

Would someone feel comfortable approaching me/ introducing me to their friends/ inviting to an event?

Be a friend that ages like a fine wine. The longer that someone knows me, I must make conscious efforts to make them like me. ( five years from now, make fifty friends that I can rely on and I must make them like me and must invest in them and make them invest in me. Today, the count is zero)

If I find that people don't eagerly go that extra distance to become friends with me, I am making some easily correctable social mistakes that is pushing them away.

There are four levels of communication: content, meta, emotion, status
Content: The what behind the communication
Meta: The what behind the what. ( The true meaning or intent behind what I am trying to convey. It is a little subtler, but conveys the same meaning)
Emotion: How I feel about the content and the meta
Status: sending out clues about relative status within the group. ( Having direct eye contact and taking more physical space conveys high status; Vocal tone- slightly higher conveys high status too) (Don't fake high status, as I become a better at social skills, high status will come naturally)

Think about which of my assets make me a valuable friend.
The person I want to be friends with also have their viable options, which means there's competition here too.

Habits that are people repellent:
Don't talk too much about things that other people aren't interested in. ( If the other person is replying in small phrases or just nodding their head, or being silent for long enough take it as a cue and change the subject. If someone is asking questions, may be they are interested in it)
Don't make bad jokes

Drop conversational Hooks: Make sure that the topic I cover is of interest to the other person. Give them a choice of things to talk about. Keep building the list and throwing it their way (This is called dropping topical hooks). ( when we tell one story, lace it with as many hints about other stories and conversations ( the ones that I am having or the ones that I am about to have).

Make people interested through my stories. Intent of the story should be to tell something noteworthy about myself that is enjoyable. ( make sure it is only positive stuff).
There is one story telling structure that works all the time which comprises of three primary phases: The Setup, the buildup, the payoff. ( Keep the setup and payoff short, the buildup can be as long as it can). Have lots of stories. (The author had 200 across various genres).
More than the subject of storytelling, the skill of storytelling is important. Come up with different stories, memorize them, get better at delivery.

Common cause of social anxiety is awkward silence and running out of things to say.

Making the other person comfortable is part of the process. Physical proximity, being respectful. ( e.g, I have always thought the opposite, but this seems interesting)

If my conversation is being interrupted by something, I need not worry about it and move on to the next subject. If the other person is interested, they will bring up the story for me. If not they story is better off dead anyway.

Involve everyone. Even if the stage is mine, and I am talking in an interesting fashion, I must make efforts to involve everyone so that they feel included.

Know that I am probably wrong all the time. I should give the other person the satisfaction of having convinced myself, if disagreement on both sides get nasty. The other person might probably concede the next time we have a disagreement.

First tell about the blog I wrote one day, when they ask if I have a blog, I must say. Telling straightaway that I am a blog writer is not advisable.

I should project myself as a happy and positive person. Don't be the person who spoils the mood of the group by bringing up something negative. Never. My positive contribution to the social interaction has to be unpredictable. Being dynamic is very important. I think I am not and improving that must be my top priority.

Add value to my friends. Rohan has added value with the information he has given me. Raja has added value by taking me to trips, Ramji has added value by teaching me Engineering graphics.

Friendship is based on shared experiences, not Time. I have spent the most time in college with certain type of people and I don't feel like they are friends with me. The people that I think are friends with me are the ones that I have shared beautiful experiences and memories with. It is easier to become friends with whom we share similar past experiences. If I badly want to be friends with someone, it would be smart to come up with a past experience that might possibly resonate with them. Involve everyone. Even if the stage is mine, and I am talking in an interesting fashion, I must make efforts to involve everyone so that they feel included.

Know that I am probably wrong all the time. I should give the other person the satisfaction of having convinced myself, if disagreement on both sides get nasty. The other person might probably concede the next time we have a disagreement.

First tell about the blog I wrote one day, when they ask if I have a blog, I must say. Telling straightaway that I am a blog writer is not advisable.

I should project myself as a happy and positive person. Don't be the person who spoils the mood of the group by bringing up something negative. Never. My positive contribution to the social interaction has to be unpredictable. Being dynamic is very important. I think I am not and improving that must be my top priority.

Add value to my friends. Rohan has added value with the information he has given me. Raja has added value by taking me to trips, Ramji has added value by teaching me Engineering graphics.

Friendship is based on shared experiences, not Time. I have spent the most time in college with certain type of people and I don't feel like they are friends with me. The people that I think are friends with me are the ones that I have shared beautiful experiences and memories with. It is easier to become friends with whom we share similar past experiences. If I badly want to be friends with someone, it would be smart to come up with a past experience that might possibly resonate with them.

Having a social circle demotivates a person to introduce to new people and make new friends.
I should be a friend filter who provides a stamp of approval and introduce people to new people and get credit for introducing the person to them. This is what Meera Mitun does. I shouldn't be selfish with my friends, I should introduce them to other great people I know.

Take the side door to get in touch with people who are famous. Bribe something of value to them in exchange of their time, such as an experience/event/introduction to another great person.

Remember people's names. It is flattering when someone does it.

People with more close ties to others live longer. ( Okay, another good reason to work on my social skills)

I should do what I say, Be completely Honest with my friends, and should be on time. (I am not usually good at three of them).
I should Be a better friend than I have to be.

[Marko Horvat · Rating 2 out of 5]

Jako je bitno kako završava knjiga jer uvijek nakon čitanja pišem recenziju. Možda je prvi dio knjige dobar ali mi u mislima bude kraj koji presudi i samu recenziju u većini slučajeva. Pa onda kad se vratim u citate vidim da sam obilježio neke stvari koje su dobre na početku knjige pa promijenim i ublažim svoj tekst. U ovom slučaju sam trenutno jako razočaran s ovom knjigom. Mogu je iskoristiti ljudi koji su živjeli van civilizacije kako bi razumjeli kako se ponašati među ljudima. Opisuje banalne stvari kako se odnositi prema prijateljima. Očekivao sam više od ove knjige zato što sam mislio da će govoriti o načinima kako ostvarivati kontakte i ostavljati dobre dojmove sa strancima, a ne sa prijateljima. Više sam mislio da će ovo biti slično klasiku od Dale Carnegiea. Kao i u svakoj knjizi za koju pišem recenziju i u ovoj postoje citati vrijedni bilježenje i komentiranja. Nisam još naišao na knjigu gdje baš ništa nisam zabilježio kao vrijedno ali to ne znači da zbog toga moram dati dobru ocjenu.

Prvi dio knjige je puno bolji i tu sam izvukao skoro sve citate. Ideja da moramo imati zanimljive priče koje uvijek dorađujemo mi je puno značila. Čak sam i razmišljao koliko uopće imam priča u svom arsenalu priča i koliko ima prostora da ih učinim zanimljivijim.

"If we have poor social skills, or inconsistent social skills, we generally accept that that's our lot in life." - Ovo je dobro rekao. Često čujemo kako netko kaže "Ja sam takav.", iako je to nešto negativno. Ljudi to prihvate kao da se ništa po tom pitanju ne može učiniti.

"The same person is considered a jerk and a saint to two different people, not because he actually is either of those things, but because of how he treats them." - Ovo sam se uvijek pitao i za sebe kako me ljudi mogu tako različito doživjeti.

"To me, it's the practice of becoming the very best person you can be, maximizing what you have to offer others."

"Whether you're aware of it or not, you are constantly molded and influenced by those closest to you. You'll receive advice from them, absorb their mannerisms and habits, and even subconsciously adopt some of their opinions."

"A friendship is like a bank account. The more you put in, the more you can take out."

"There are four main channels being communicated on at all times: content, meta, emotion, and status." - Ovo je najzanimljivija ideja ove knjige koja je jako korisna. Sadržaj je ono što govorimo ali ga ne možemo razumjeti bez meta znanja (kontekst).

"A master of communication must be able to have two major conversations (content and meta), while maintaining two minor conversations (emotion and status)."

"People you speak with will always be wondering what you really mean."

"For example, let's say you meet someone at a concert. They're excited and having fun, which is exactly why they are at the concert, so they want to maintain that state. If you initiate a serious talk about business, you are grossly miscommunicating on the emotional channel."

"Disagreeing with everything is even worse, but expressing your own opinion in a clear and appropriate way conveys that you have the ability to think for yourself, even in the presence of strong outside influence. You will be given respect for doing this."

"there's a single skill I can recommend that you spend time on, it's the art of telling a story. It provides you with a way to entertain your friends, control the mood of an interaction, and efficiently convey who you are."

"When telling a story, you should have three primary phases in order: the setup, the buildup, and the payoff."

"The key is to learn how to tell a good story so that more of the things that occur in your life can be told in an interesting manner."

"On the other hand, you should never tell stories that make your friends look bad. It's fine to expose their quirks, but if they messed something up, you'd never want to talk about that, even if it was a funny story."

"Your goals in a conversation are to make sure that the other person enjoys themselves, to allow them to learn about you, and for you to learn about them. By allowing them to tell a story that's not all that interesting, you are letting them enjoy themselves, and you're also learning about them, even if it's in a tedious format."

"A good exercise is to think about what it might be like to be your friend. What would that feel like? What would the good parts of that friendship be? What would the bad parts be? What could you do to make that experience better for the other person?"

"You want to be the Queen of England. You want to be the person who any of your friends can introduce to anyone they know and be sure that it will make them look good."

"Second, some of the most interesting people you'll meet are also the busiest. You don't become interesting by being idle."

"Traveling is a great way to make yourself more interesting, if you feel like being interesting is something you need to work on."

"It puts you in enough unusual situations that you build a bank of stories and experiences, and it gives you perspective you wouldn't have otherwise gotten."

"I remember once we were talking about my siblings, and she made an offhand comment that they were potentially the most important relationships in my life. After all, they were the people I'd know for the longest and have the most context with."

"Three undervalued positive attributes are doing what you say, being honest, and being on time."

"John Gottman, a researcher at the University of Washington, studies couples to figure out what causes divorce. The biggest factor is contempt, which sounds a lot like the opposite of appreciation."

[Justyna · Rating 2 out of 5]

Interesting pointers, one of those things that are known and logical but it is nice when you are being reminded about them. However, I did not appreciate the lack of inclusivity: the “you” author was talking to throughout the book was assumed male, so were all friends and people the “you” wanted to impress. I felt alienated and almost felt like this book wasn’t written for me.

[On the Road · Rating 5 out of 5]

short and practical, packed with actionable advice. this book can be a little triggering to read because it points to so many things we aren't doing in social life, including the stuff i fall short of myself.

[Jelle Derckx · Rating 4 out of 5]

Zware aanrader. Dale Carnegie in 2015.

[Sean · Rating 5 out of 5]

Actionable advice

This was a practical, engaging read. Tynan balances sharing his experience with practical tips for practicing cornerstone skills that impact everyone socially.

[Allen Walton · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quick and easy read with lots of good advice. I'm taking off a star cause it really bugs me that there's no table of contents or page numbers.

[Keren Xu · Rating 5 out of 5]

Each chapter is like a blog post. Many take aways.
first part is about why it is important to develop social skills and why these skills can be learned and can grow
- social skills are skills
- a word on manipulation

the second part is really focusing on specific communication skills
- levels of communication
- converting value early and fast
- eliminating annoyance
- don't talk to much
- recalibrate for response
- drop conversation hooks
- stories
- make the other person comfortable
- always give the other person an out
- eye contact
- be easily distracted during your own stories, but not theirs
- crossing the line
- involve everyone

the third part is more about how to be a better friend, how to develop new friendships, what to prioritize, and how to maintain a friendship
- know that you are probably wrong all the time
- being relatable
- smile and be positive
- being dynamic
- your value as a friend
- friendship is based on shared experience
- introductions
- look for side doors
- host a weekly event
- travel is a friendship shortcut
- focus on important friendships
- different types of friendships
- on not being intimidated
- remember names
- start with your family
- focus on friends, eliminate acquaintance
- treat everyone well
- choose friends because you love them
- know what you're looking for
- do what you say be honest be on time

the last part is more about looking at friendship from a larger scope.
- goals of a friend group
- being a leader of friends
- create events
- being a better friend than you have to be
- maintaining harmony
- appreciating your friends

[Eric · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't usually read self-help books. I'm a good Scandihoovian who figures I'm good enough the way I am already and if I can't figure it out myself it's not worth knowing. But I've always known I had poor social skills and I would like to know how to improve them. Some people sure don't seem to have any problem.

This was available as a free Kindle read with my Amazon membership so I gave it a look.

Some of the advice seems contrived, like coming up with some basic stories about yourself that you can whip out in any occasion. I already know people that tell the same stories over and over again and I am usually not thrilled about it. However, there are those times when an awkward silence arises and I am grateful for their ability spin those greatest hits.

Tynan has spent a lot of time analyzing social interaction and his insights are quite helpful to an introvert such as myself. He really enjoys interacting with people and he obsesses over why an interaction went wrong, or even if it went well.

I don't imagine myself ever getting as obsessed with socialization as he does. However, need some pointers on how to improve your daily interactions with people and strengthen the friendships you already have? This is a good place to start.

For a social moron such as myself a few rereads and a lot of practice will go a long way in improving my social skills.

[Dmitry Loktev · Rating 5 out of 5]

Книга - набор коротких глав иллюстрирующих как нужно общаться и вести себя в социальных ситуациях и вообще в жизни, чтобы нравиться людям и заводить друзей. В принципе, то, что нужно.
 
Отдельное спасибо автору за минимальное количество воды, что не свойственно американской селф-хелп литературе. Книга удивительно лаконичная.
 
Автор также делает разграничение между желанием улучшить свои социальные навыки и желанием стать лучшим манипулятором. Вопрос в определении цели. В первом случае - акцент на несении большей ценности своим собеседникам. Во-втором, личная выгода. Разумеется, не бывает ничего полностью бескорыстного. Социальные навыки - это инструмент, такой, как, например, топор. Их можно использовать, чтобы нести пользу (колоть дрова для бабушки в деревне) или манипулировать (зарубить старуху-процентщицу).
 
Вторая половина книги не столько об общении, сколько о том, что нужно делать, чтобы заводить друзей и как быть хорошим другом в принципе.
 
Итак, что запомнилось и осталось в памяти не глядя в список подчеркнутых цитат.
 
Когда люди общаются, они передают информацию по нескольким каналам. Откровением стал другой взгляд на мета-сообщение. Я всегда воспринимал это, как сообщение, которое передаётся невербально: телом и мимикой лица. Здесь же автор делает упор на явное разграничение между:
• Тем, что сказано вербально: конкретные произнесенные слова, связанные предложением и;
• Тем, что якобы говорящий хочет передать, смыслом, причиной и целью его фразы.
 
Иначе, мета-сообщение - это смысл, идущий за вербаликой. Почему человек говорит то, что он говорит. Какой смысл это несет? Только ли прямо трактуемый смысл или есть какое-то мета-сообщение?
 
В качестве упражнения автор советует во время общения спрашивать себя, почему собеседник говорит ту или иную фразу, какой смысл он хочет донести. Применяя это правило к себе я заметил, что очень часто мои фразы произносятся "просто так". Я даже не могу часто объяснить сам себе почему я говорю что-то. Во всяком случае, логичного объяснения нет. Есть нелогичное: это проявление моей личности. В какой-то момент в силу эмоционального состояния мне хочется произнести что-то бессмысленное. Не несущее пользы, вопросы, значимой смысловой нагрузки для моих собеседников. Очень странно, что в 26 лет у меня еще есть такие проявления. Именно потому что такие "вербальные проявления" не несут смысла, я не могу их обозначить иначе как присущие черты личности.
 
The first step to communicating on the meta channel is to constantly ask yourself why people are saying the things they say.
 
Приятно было отметить, что данное автором определение дружбы совп��дает с моим, выведенном несколько лет назад на собственном опыте. Дружба - количество разделяемых вместе эмоций и их накал. Открытием было то, что для дружбы не обязательно, чтобы эмоции были прожиты одновременно. Достаточно их общности.
 
Часто для того, чтобы дать толчок для возникновения дружбы или более близкой связи нужно взять смелость и переступить границу: сказать или сделать что-то такое, чего, казалось бы, не позволяет текущий уровень раппорта.
 
Вечеринки дом (как по французскому обычаю) - прекрасный способ заводить новых друзей. Это способ оставаться в контакте с людьми с кем бы ты не встретился один на один. Или способ углубить отношения с человеком для которого приглашение один на один показалось бы странным, а приглашение на общую тусовку друзей - вполне нормальным делом.
 
One of your top social priorities should be helping others meet their future best friends.
 
Конечно, сторителлинг. Рассказывание историй - это краеугольный навык построения отношений. Автор это отдельно подчеркивает. И это мой минус. Я часто ленюсь рассказывать. Я ленюсь от части из-за того, что считаю, что я не умею рассказывать истории, от части от того, что считаю, что я не расскажу идеально и боюсь провала взять на себя внимание людей и не доставив им желаемого удовольствия. Это нужно искоренять. Во-первых, не быть перфекционистом: стараться рассказывать с теми навыками, которые есть у меня сегодня. Практика их улучшит. Во-вторых, просто не лениться. Автор дал прекрасную схему сторителлинга: короткая завязка, сколько угодно длинное повествование и короткая, эмоциональная и удивительная развязка.
 
Дружба держится на обмене ценностями. Когда-то, я бы посчитал это циничным. Но, если отбросить лирику - это так. Цель развития социальных навыков - нести больше ценности своим друзьям, чем получать от них.
 
Главнейший вывод лично для меня. При начале общения с новым человеком я стараюсь очень сильно калибровать его поведение. Именно даже поведение, а не реакции. Реакции будут если я их буду провоцировать, а я боюсь делать первые шаги в общении (вызывающие реакции), т.к. Не достаточно хорошо знаю человека. Это ошибочное поведение.
 
При начале общения с новым человеком нужно вести беседу самостоятельно. Как? Исходя из общего культурного кода, принятого в обществе общения, исходя из собственных черт личности, исходя из собственных представлений о лидерстве. Я - тот человек, который задаёт тон беседе и определяет границы. Если собеседник - человек с адекватными социальными навыками, в какой-то момент он возьмет внимание на себя. Это и будет калибровкой реакции. По умолчанию, больше веди, чем старайся услышать реакцию от ровной глади воды, которой ты не даёшь повода колебаться.
 
When you begin a conversation with a new person, you should have a loose default of doing all or most of the talking. If the person isn't socially adept and can't think of things to say, it won't be a problem, since you'll fill any silence with interesting stories, questions, and observations.
 
Рассказывать о себе (о принципах, чертах характера, личной истории, что приемлемо, а что нет) не через конкретное описание фактов или принципах, а через истории. Причем не через сами события, а скорее их смысл. Это делают тренера РМЭСа, но уж более явно и топорно. Желая привлечь аудиторию на частые консультации они начинают историю со слов "несколько дней назад на встрече с моим частным клиентом, был забавный случай". Желая показать, что у них есть деньги на качественный отдых, они скажут "когда я был в Китае, со мной произошёл случай".
 
Кардинальный навык, чтобы нравиться людям: быть динамичным. 

[Gregory · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very brief book with a few interesting thought on how to improve one’s communication.
Many of those are common sense, some are unconventional.
Some of the takeaways that stuck with me: (in no particular order):
* focus on close friends rather then acquaintances, and ditch the people where it is unlikely/undesirable to become close friends with.
* practice Storytelling, prepare stories and test them constantly which one “works” with other people.
* try to bring value to your friends, esp in the early stages of the developing relationship

Four stars instead of five, because the content is not really deep, and can be summarized as „just do the right thing“, without exploring why are people actually struggling with social connections - if it would be „just“ that easy to do the right thing, everyone would be doing it already. But then, the book is really short.

[Rebecca · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed listening to this as an audiobook narrated by the author - a former pickup artist! It was full of insights and actionable tips. This book changed my perspective on social skills and friendships: social skills can be learnt just like a skill, and be less passive about your social circle/friend group. Learning about the types of communication channels was super interesting - will be cool to practice. Personally my biggest takeaways from this book are 1) always give the other person an out, 2) learn to be emotionally self-reliant with strangers and acquaintances.

[Claudio Olivares Medina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nice starting point

It has its high points. The first part felt unstructured, then gets more consistent where actual advices are given. The layout on the kindle edition is poor. It’s hard to follow the typographic heading hierarchy and that is distracting. Adding some references to the psychological aspects on friendship could make this book twice better. Nevertheless, I would recommend this book, although it is not a guide, helps to become aware of how we can improve our relation with others and working on become better friends.

[Ronit · Rating 3 out of 5]

Discusses the ways that you can create better relations with other people and connect more easily. Can be boiled down to how to meet regularly meet your friends or deepen the friendship. Discusses what you can personally bring to the table to help deepen the friendship or strike up new friendship. Simple hacks to get over different awkwardness' or to feel more confident approaching new people (improve your ability to tell stories, prepare some beforehand to give you psychological boost etc.)

[John MacIntyre · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has some gems. my favourite is the conversation sub-channels; Content, meta, emotion, & status. Personally I tend to operate 98% at the content channel, where people mean what they say. I often have difficulty understanding "what just happened?". LOL. This concept will help derive meaning if you're like me.

[Tam G · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was okay. My take away? Don't just listen (ala Make Friends and Influence People). Create responses with hooks that people can pick up and ask you about. Try to keep those hooks from being boasts.

How do we do this? No idea.

Most of this is not new stuff, but it is short and fairly succinct.

[Vincent · Rating 2 out of 5]

It's an alright book. Although a good amount of the content was meaningful, I didn't feel that it was organized or conveyed in the most effective way. The way the author conveys his messages in a clinical fashion which isn't the easiest to relate to. If you're trying to work on your social skills, this shouldn't be your first book.

[Yuvraaj Bhatter · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would honestly place this book with 'how to win friends and influence people' only because this book was as long as it needed to be and not any longer. The ideas given were actually relevant to the 21st century and i would recommend this book to literally everyone.
Honestly, i don't know how i never heard of this book before.
Truly an underrated masterpiece for improving your social skills.

[Giovanni Cepin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honest & Inciteful

Easy read with loads of powerful suggestions to improving your social skills and becoming a better friend. I'd recommend this book to any and everyone because we could all build stronger relationships and connections with each other.

[Abhishek Nair · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting read

The book swells into the concept of honing social skills that can be used to ones advantage. It provides a clear indication of choosing the right type of values to build a social norm.

[Yicheng Sun · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reads like a series of blog posts, because they are. Each post is short, a couple pages max with a lesson and maybe one example. I enjoyed how structured the author thought about practice and what skills to develop. Definitely took a lot of notes to make actionable!

[Alyssa W · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not a bad read, kind of puts a lot of things I already sort of thought about into words.

[Paola · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book!

The author gives you terrific examples & encourages you to practice what you've just read. The book is really simple to understand & the advice is great.

[Adam · Rating 4 out of 5]

Useful to skim through to get ideas.

[anna b · Rating 2 out of 5]

For the socially inept, up it to 2 stars for some very useful points.

[Taran · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good book

Came away with a handful of nuggets. Just one justifies the time and energy of reading. Would recommend it to every human.

[Karl · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short and on point. Loved it.