Keep Mars Weird

by Neal Pollack

This book is a Kindle Serial. Kindle Serials are stories published in episodes, with future episodes delivered at no additional cost. This serial currently contains one episode out of an estimated six total episodes, and new episodes will be delivered every week.

Several hundred years in the future, a depopulated Earth has become a tolerant, progressive paradise. What could be better—or duller? Meanwhile, Mars is home to New Austin, a freewheeling human colony fabled to make Las Vegas look like a meditation retreat. After breaking the polite laws of Earth, earnest schoolteacher Jordan Kincaid finds himself forced to relocate. It’s either life on Mars or life behind bars.

But what promised to be Xanadu is more like Blade Runner . . . only with more waiting in line. Trend-chasing hipsters and obnoxious tourists have swarmed into New Austin at the expense of poverty-stricken locals, all overseen by a greedy megamogul bent on transforming the city into a gentrified nightmare. When a sexy but sinister heiress seduces Jordan, he finds himself on the wrong side of a literal real-estate rebellion, as the filthy rich and dirt poor battle for control of the next hot neighborhood. Forget about keeping it weird, someone’s got to keep Mars from becoming a hell off Earth.

Episode List
An additional episode will be delivered every week until the book is complete. New episodes will be added to the same book on your Kindle, keeping your place and retaining your notes and highlights. You'll be notified via email when a new episode has been delivered.

Episode 1: October 27, 2015. : In the future, when life on Earth is nearly perfect—and perfectly boring—twenty-six-year-old Jordan Kincaid’s crime of passion gets him ebxiled to Mars…where life will never be the same.Episode 2: November 3, 2015. : The rocky voyage to Mars takes a turn for the better when a beautiful billionaire makes Jordan a VIP member of the several-million-miles-high club.Episode 3: November 10, 2015.: When the rich take on the rest in a Martian real-estate battle royal, Jordan and his buddy Leonard realize even best friends can end up at odds.Episode 4: November 17, 2015.: As the wealthy elite rendezvous to revel on a Martian mountain, the Resistance sets its sights on sabotage.Episode 5: November 24, 2015. The Mars by Mars Festival goes south in a New Austin minute when the Resistance crashes the party—and the real-estate war gets fatally real.Episode 6: December 1, 2015. As the battle for power, property, and the future of Mars heats up, Jordan and Leonard face off against each other…and face down their destinies.

Genres: Science Fiction, Fiction

240 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 27, 2015

About the author

Neal Pollack’s first book, The Neal Pollack Anthology of American Literature, was published in 2000, becoming an (almost) instant cult classic. His debut novel, Never Mind the Pollacks, hit shelves in 2003, and was shamelessly promoted by his band, The Neal Pollack Invasion. In 2007, he published Alternadad, a best-selling memoir. In 2010, Pollack became a certified yoga teacher and published Stretch, a nonfiction account of his adventures in American yoga culture. He has contributed to The New York Times, Wired, Slate, Yoga Journal, and Vanity Fair, among many other publications. Thomas & Mercer published his historical noir novel Jewball in March 2012, and debuted his "yoga detective" novel, Downward-Facing Death, in serialized fiction form in September, 2012. His latest book, a time-traveling romantic comedy called Repeat, will be published in March 2015. He and his wife, the painter Regina Allen, live with their son in Austin, Texas.

Reviews

[Nikki "The Crazie Betty" V. · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received the first 3 installments of this 6 installment serial through Netgalley in exchange for my honest review.

Unfortunately I thought I would enjoy this a lot more. It's kind of hard to summarize the plot because everything is so weird in this story. Earth has become the political utopia. Everyone has everything they need but not too much and not too little. When the MC gets into basically a bar brawl with another guy (something that very rarely happens on Earth now) he is sent to Mars as his punishment. But Mars is supposed to be all about drinking, dancing, and partying so he isn't too thrilled to find out he's assigned to be a teacher on this "lawless" land.

I really enjoyed everything up until they got to Mars. The 1st class partying on the shuttle from Earth was quite entertaining and I couldn't wait to see how much more of that was going to be in the story once they actually got to Mars! Where their motTo, yes Mars' motto, is to "KEEP MARS WEIRD!!" Sounds like we're going to get an awesome mix of downtown artsy and bohemian themes. Nope, not the case. It started out entertaining to see how everyone jumped every time they were told there was a new fashion craze (shave your beard, grow your beard, wear flowers, don't wear flowers, top hats and monocles, but now painted on clothing) but soon turned into a bloated version of The Capital in The Hunger Games. Once I finished the third installment I actually was happy I didn't have the rest as I'm afraid I would've DNF'd it. I couldn't handle reading a whole other half of a book about these whiny babies.

[Heidi Ward · Rating 4 out of 5]

In the first installment of Keep Mars Weird, Pollack delivers trenchant speculative social satire . . . with a whole lot of of weed jokes thrown in for good measure. As silly as if Christopher Moore met Seth Rogen, but right on when it comes to the scathing critique of hipster culture run amok. Part 1 (of six, I gather) gets four solid stars. I look forward to part 2!

[Mark Gardner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absurdist humor is often a roll of the dice. Sometimes I get lucky, but usually I roll a seven or whatever dice metaphor is appropriate here. I enjoyed reading Keep Mars Weird, and knocked it out in a single night. I would happily continue reading the story, if the price was right.

The satirical look at today’s society is very clever. I think I was able to suss out the writers political leanings, but that’s neither here nor there. The dystopian lilt to the story was almost as enjoyable as the author’s commentary of the division of wealth we face in our society today.

I’d rate this 4.5 stars, because some of the humor was just too over the top. I think I’ll try to get ahold of Neal Pollack’s Repeat, because if the same humor fills those pages, I know I’ll enjoy it.

[Virditas · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fun spoof of Austin. Anyone who lives in Central Texas - or really any city with massive sudden yuppie-zation - will laugh a lot reading this book. The ending was a little messy, but life is indeed, messy. Great for the airplane!

Pollack's book Repeat was just as fun, but somewhat deeper and sweeter.

[Grant Everett · Rating 2 out of 5]

Starts off strong, but kinda falls apart soon after

Readable. Begins with a lot of promise with some hilarious descriptions and concepts, but just runs out of puff well before the middle. Basically a scifi stoner comedy.

[Pop Bop · Rating 3 out of 5]

A Fun Smooth Ride for A While; Then It Gets Pretty Bumpy

The first half of this book is a stoner comedy, followed by an epic road trip. Once our heroes get to Mars, though, we sort of lose our way.

Our heroes, Jordan and Leonard, are sad sack slackers on a mild, boring, progressive and egalitarian Earth. It may be paradise, where everyone has just "enough", but Earth is boring and our heroes are pretty lame boy men. At this stage the quips, jokes, sarcastic and ironic comments, and cutting throwaways and observations fly thick and fast. If you don't like one, the next funny line is just a sentence or two away. When Jordan gets sent off to Mars we are treated to a solar system road trip that makes the worst Greyhound bus in history seem like the Queen Mary. Again, lots of funny lines and set pieces. Our boys are on a roll.

Then we get to New Austin on Mars. SPOILER. It isn't party central; it's a dump run like a prison by the real estate developer who basically owns everything. O.K., we could get into some subversive put-it-to-the-man humor here, and maybe the Animal House party nerds will put it to Dean Wormer. Well, no. Instead we drift into a hyper-violent revolution tale with sketchy and forced humor. It's like "Hitchhiker's Guide" met "Total Recall" by way of "Brave New World" and "Blade Runner", with a touch of "Scooby Doo". It didn't work very well, and once your heroes are covered with blood and guts it's hard to recapture that light and frothy humorous slacker feel.

So, it's well written, but sinks under the effort to create an action/adventure plot. The lines are still funny, and the book is breezy and loaded with energy. It was entertaining enough at the outset, and skimmable enough toward the end, that it still ended up being a happy find.

(Please note that I received a free advance ecopy of this book in exchange for a candid review. Apart from that I have no connection at all to either the author or the publisher of this book.)

[T.J. Radcliffe · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Keep Mars Weird" is a broad satire about the encroachment of creeping capitalism on "gritty" and "authentic" culture, specifically Austin TX and SxSW or whatever it's called, although it applies pretty well elsewhere too.

The plot is propelled more by the political needs of the polemic than any particular plausibility, and everyone gets a bit of kicking along the way, which is what raises the book from 3 to 4 stars: it's a satire on the human condition, and doesn't pretend that one way or another is going to Solve All Our Problems.

The characters are stereotypes who do manage to grow just a little bit in the course of the story. This book isn't going to change anyone's life, but it's a fast, enjoyable read, especially if you've been in any way part of an alternative, underground, or otherwise "authentic" art/music scene.

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

Utopian society versus a corporate communist society, presented in a fun story. The title makes me think of a kids tale, but there’s just a bit too much sex (not really graphic, but acts are named). So, any prudes out there might want to skip this one. But, for the rest of you... it is an enjoyable escape from reality!

[Traci Otte · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good book!

I thought with the name of the book being "Keep Mars Weird" that it would be a fluff book, light and easy, but it's much deeper than that and made me consider what I might do if I was in the two protagonists' shoes. It also made me grateful for the Enough that I have.

[Henry B. · Rating 2 out of 5]

Pollock takes a satire with less substance than a political cartoon and stretches across 240 pages of generic sci-fi. The results aren't uniformly terrible, but all the good stuff gets used up before the first 150 pages are out. Didactic, self-serious, and just not funny.

[sue kozin · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was very weird.

Keep those weird books committed to a strange world like mars is in the book. Took time to read though.

[Lisa Keipp · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fun for a dystopian book about two young men who end up on the opposites sides of a revolution. No spolilers, but disenchanted, disenfranchized young men are the heroes.

[Stephen Carnes · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is awesome. Objectively, it's terrible, but in like a campy '70s B-movie way. There are no unique or new ideas anywhere in this book. The sex scenes are the pinnacle of bad erotica. Had it been written 100 years earlier, it could've been groundbreaking, but all of that ground has been broken within the last century. Bottom line, read this book. It will not change your life.

[Rob · Rating 4 out of 5]

NOTE: I received this book for free through the Goodreads Giveaways.

This is the first book by Pollack that I've read. While I was aware of him, I just hadn't gotten around to reading anything by him. I was aware that he is a satirist, and this novel exhibits both the pitfalls and the benefits of satirical writing.

On the pitfall side of things, it's not always clear when Pollack is being serious, and when he's being extremely satirical. For instance, the rocket the protagonists take to Mars is the ". . . ZS Obamacare, named after the first human to attempt to make sure that everyone had Enough . . ." Enough with a capital "E" is the guiding philosophy that drives the Socialism of the 27th-century Earth. Pollack's depiction of the Enough Society is one of a relatively equitable, yet seemingly bland culture. He seems to be mocking the extreme leveling one might see in some socialist societies. So we are left wondering -- is the "SS Obamacare" a criticism of the ACA and its philosophical basis? Or is it lampooning Earth of the 2600's?

The tone of the novel sometimes changes rather abruptly from light satire to bloody violence. I'm not sure if this is intentional of Pollack's part, or indicative of a lack of total control of the plot and tone on his part.

I did enjoy this novel. It started off a little amorphously, but gained clarify and strength once the setting switched to Mars.

Again, as I said, satire can be difficult to read because one isn't always sure how to take what is happening.

On the plus side, however, satire does make more palatable an examination of things like gentrification and economic disparity. These can be dry, if important, topics in a non-fiction form.

While I did like the story, I was left kind of unsatisfied. The tone shifts were frustrating and I sometimes wished that Pollack had committed more fully to either a light satire, or more dark and unsettling one.

This is another instance when I wish that Goodreads allowed for half-star rating increments. "Keep Mars Weird" is a solid, 3.5-star effort. Lacking that ability, however, I don't want to penalize what is essentially an enjoyable and creative story. So 4 stars it is.

[NullusAnxietus]

Originally posted at http://wp.me/p4Wvzn-1a0

Two Nerds Talking was lucky enough to receive an advanced review copy of this title in exchange for a fair an honest review....and at Two Nerds Talking we don't do things any other way.

It should be noted that Keep Mars Weird is a serial novel released electronically in parts. We were given access to parts one through three and our review will cover only these parts.

Set some few hundred years in the future, Keep Mars Weird paints a picture of an Earth where everybody has "Enough" Poverty, disease and violence seem to be all but eradicated in favour of a less populated and much more harmonious world. In contrast Mars is said to be the party planet boasting of the city of New Austin, a city that is said to put Las Vegas to shame.

The book follows the exploits of one Jordan Kincaid who finds himself on the wrong side of the law and is forced to relocate to the seemingly hedonistic and free Mars...but things aren't always what they seem and Jordan becomes swept up in a bizarre and dangerous series of events.

If I'm being honest, it was the title of this book that caught my attention. Keep Mars Weird seemed like such a quirky and unique name for a book that I just had to check it out...and it most definitely did not disappoint.

Having immersed myself in sci-fi for many a year, I find quite often that I'm able to see where a story is going before it gets there. Keep Mars Weird was a beautifully refreshing change in that I had no idea where the story was going and I LOVED that!

Written in a quirky style that I found reminiscent of the late great Terry Pratchett, Keep Mars Weird straddles the line somewhere between dystopian and utopian sci-fi. It's a truly entertaining and above all FUN book, taking you on one heck of a ride. Personally I can't wait for part 4, bring it on!

[Paul Franco · Rating 3 out of 5]

In a future Earth that appears to be like Harrison Bergeron’s, a guy who is clearly a stickler for following the rules gets into a fight over a girl he thinks he loves but blew him off; he can choose his punishment: jail or Mars. Since the advertising says that Mars is such an awesome party place to be, he chooses that option. Might have been better off in jail. The reality of space travel—cheap space travel—is just the first step in showing him how wrong he is. The ride from the spaceport to downtown New Austin is a huge second.
There was one info dump near the beginning; thankful for the info, but not so much at once. In general this story was a good idea, good sentiment. Appreciate the parallels to the present situation with income inequality and corporate greed, and especially advertising, media, and scholastic brainwashing. But the story itself could have had more to it, been better. The dialogue was there, but at times too snarky for its own good, especially Leonard. On the other hand, there were a bunch of tiny gems that could easily be missed, like “The University of Austin’s prestigious Willie Nelson School of Natural Pharmaceuticals.” And there is a spot about halfway that could be the dictionary definition of how you do a cliffhanger.
By the end of this part of the story—it’s a continuing serial, by the book and you get updated as new parts come out—the protagonist is completely brainwashed into being everything he was fighting against; the bad part is it took so little, even discounting sleeping with the gorgeous daughter of the main bad guy.

[Kayla · Rating 4 out of 5]

*NOTE: This is my husband, Seth's, review as he is helping me with my gigantic review pile.*

I picked this book up not knowing what it was about. I admit though, that I have a science fiction addiction. I also like alternate future fiction as well. When both of those are combined I just can't help myself. Keep Mars weird is just such a story. Sometime in the past of the story Earth was able to colonize Mars. In the process there was quite a bit of conflict on Earth. This led to the population of the Earth being regulated to one billion people. Everyone on Earth has 'enough'. Enough food, enough room, enough health care. Nothing more. Societal classes are all but done away with on Earth.

Having said that, the story revolves around Jordan Kincaid. He was born on Earth, and was brought up in the mindset that everyone gets enough. Shortly into the story he gets shipped off to Mars and finds out that some people have more 'enough' than others. There is plenty of fun poking at the expense of socialists and capitalists alike. The story focuses on the struggles that Jordan and his friend face when confronted with an entirely different society than what they grew up with. I look forward to reading more in this series. I'm hoping it's a series anyways. I'll have to check with my wife as she's the one in charge of the books in the house.

[Tom Loock · Rating 3 out of 5]

Keep Mars Weird is three books in one - a political satire (first half), a comedy (opening chapters) and adventure SF (second half) - and that is its greatest strength and a weakness at the same time.

It's reminiscent of Wong's John Dies at the End, Robinson's Red Mars and Dick's We Can Remember It for You Wholesale plus a couple other SF novels. On top of it all, I just learned that it is a "serial" and there are several sequels yet to come.

I can recommend it (3.5 stars is more like it), but maybe further evaluation should be withheld for now. It should however be said that this novel has a proper ending and can be enjoyed on its own.

[James · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read a book of Neal Pollack's humorous essays back in college that I absolutely loved, and another humorous novel of his sometime shortly thereafter that I also really enjoyed, but hadn't read anything else by him in about a decade. So when an Amazon ad popped up showing that he'd written a serialized, satirical futuristic sci-fi adventure that was on sale for $1.99, I jumped on it, excited to re-visit this author who I had found to be so hilarious in the past. Although there are a few funny ideas and interesting characters in Keep Mars Weird, it is mostly a third-rate Douglas Adams impression with a lot of painfully unfunny jokes. There is a tedious bit about how "YOLO!" has evolved into an all purpose hello/goodbye/thank you a la Aloha. There is a character named Sonia Smartphone. GET IT? Bad satire has to be the worst form of bad comedy. I finished this book because it was short and quick and there were very occasionally jokes that amused me and concepts that interested me, but this has definitely caused me to wonder whether those earlier works I enjoyed could have ever been funny in the first place. Oh well.

[Drew · Rating 3 out of 5]

‘Keep Mars Weird’ is an interesting book and really a tale of two stories. The book starts off strong in a utopian world here on earth where life is a bit sterile, calm and everyone has enough. Our two main characters are then taken out of this word and sent to Mars which is rumored to be a crazy party town, picture Las Vegas but in a whole planet. You can see the plot taking shape, these sheltered earthlings are going to go to mars and hilarious fun is going to ensue. The story starts going this way with their trip to mars, but once they arrive on the red planet, they find it’s not what they were expecting and the plot goes off in a new direction. While this new direction is interesting I don’t know that I’d call it exciting. More like a school field trip to an art museum when you wanted the science center. The characters and plot become convoluted and a bit nonsensical, and when the time comes to finish the story it felt a little thrown together than well thought out and planned. Overall it wasn’t bad but it wasn’t really that great either.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was pleasantly surprised by this book, which I won on Goodreads. I entered because I love the "Keep Portland Weird" slogan (Austin also claims to have coined it, but I'm not so sure!)

Set in the future, Earth has become a paradise where everyone has "enough" (and is indoctrinated to want only enough). Yet there are those for whom Capitalism will always call, and those people, headed by the Waters family, have set up shop on Mars, where the Martian Development Corporation is promoting a party atmosphere which is more about making money at any expense.

I plan to pass this book on to my college age son, which I think would be a demographic who would especially enjoy the book.

[Lynn C · Rating 4 out of 5]

If this book had less violence and drug content and greater character development, I'd have rated it even higher. If you like that sort of thing with breezy futurism and subtle morality, you'll absolutely eat it up. "Keep Mars Weird" was a great escape from the U.S. election going on while I was reading. Indeed, author Neal Pollack almost seemed to predict the advent of our new megalomaniacal capitalistic regime. Fans of "Brave New World" or "The Fifth Element" will find plenty to enjoy in his sarcastically spare prose and "what goes around comes around" predictions for a future I nonetheless can't wait for now.

[Paula · Rating 5 out of 5]

I reviewed this book for NetGalley.

This is a deliciously biting and funny social and political satire that skewers P.C., utopias, dystopias, gentrification, hipsters, "everyone playing well with each other," and other foibles of modern life. Ostensibly, this novel is about an adventure on Mars, but it's more like satirical version of "Total Recall" with funnier characters and more bizarre situations.

I really enjoyed this novel. It is very subtly humorous - Mr. Pollack is an excellent satirist and makes some important points through humor. Well worth reading.

[Polly Krize · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Rarely do I find a book that makes me laugh out loud! But this satirical, quasi-politically correct novel is outrageous and entertaining. Jordan Kincaid comes from an Earth where everyone "has Enough" and are basically peaceful sheep. But his horrific journey to Mars brings him to a planet with confusing and distracting messages bombarding him on all sides. As a Kindle serial, I look forward to the following parts.

[Lee · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fun novel about a distant future in New Austin on Mars that is very familiar to 21st century readers. I enjoyed just how unsubtle the parallels with our own time's dark sides of hipster corporatism. My only wish is that the author would have more fully explored how one can move to a social order that has art, authenticity, excitement and Enough, beyond just assassinating a mega-fascist land developer.

[Renee · Rating 2 out of 5]

Neal Pollack can write, but this story lagged and sputtered in too many ways. Are the main characters stoney dudes or intergalactic killing machines slash stud muffins? You can't have it both ways, it just doesn't make sense. And sex, violence and sexy violence just because you can is just...ugh. Disappointing.

[Pat · Rating 2 out of 5]

Humourous bit of SF silliness. Two stoners find themselves exiled from earth's fair but dull socialist utopia & end up on Mars where militant capitalism rules and revolution is in the air. It's all a bit heavy-handed and the laughs are a bit predictable but it's an easy & diverting read. If this book was a movie it would star Seth Rogen & James Franco.

[Viena · Rating 3 out of 5]

Totally enjoyed the premise of this story but ended up really caring for the characters. I normally would have read this in a very short amount of time but didn't really care what happened next. Like I said, great premise, meh story.

[tyto · Rating 2 out of 5]

I received this from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

I didn't really care for this... the characters were unlikable, the plot was too straightforward and the story was just a bit blah for me. It's trying to be satirical but it was just a bit annoying to me.

[Matthew Rosov · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun read

Simple review for a simple book
This really was a fun read.
Can I say fun a few more times?