Diary of an AssCan

The Martian #0.5

by Andy Weir

Original Fiction, Short Story, Science Fiction

Andy Weir’s prequel to The Martian

This short story gives us a glimpse into Mark Watney’s world just before taking off on his mission for Mars. Read on for more from this exceptional character.

Please note: This story includes language that some might find offensive.

Genres: Science Fiction, Short Stories, Fiction, Space, Adult, Audiobook, Humor

4 pages, ebook

First published September 30, 2015

About the author

ANDY WEIR built a career as a software engineer until the success of his first published novel, THE MARTIAN, allowed him to live out his dream of writing fulltime. He is a lifelong space nerd and a devoted hobbyist of subjects such as relativistic physics, orbital mechanics, and the history of manned spaceflight. He also mixes a mean cocktail. He lives in California. Andy’s next book, ARTEMIS, is available now.

Reviews

[Jay · Rating 5 out of 5]

"I wish there were a way to spend more time on the surface. But oh well. 31 sols will have to do."

[karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

WELCOME TO DECEMBER PROJECT!

last year, amy(other amy) tipped me off to this cool thing she was doing: the short story advent calendar, where you sign up to this thingie here and you get a free story each day.

i dropped the ball and by the time i came to my senses, it had already sold out, so for december project, i'm going rogue and just reading a free online story a day of my choosing. this foolhardy endeavor is going to screw up my already-deep-in-the-weeds review backlog, so i don't think i will be reviewing each individual story "properly." i might just do a picture review or - if i am feeling wicked motivated, i will draw something, but i can't be treating each short story like a real book and spending half my day examining and dissecting it, so we'll just see what shape this project takes as we go.

and if you know of any particularly good short stories available free online, let me know! i'm no good at finding them myself unless they're on the tor.com site, and i only have enough at this stage of the game to fill half my calendar. <--- that part is no longer true, but i am still interested in getting suggestions!

DECEMBER 24



I wish there were a way to spend more time on the surface. But oh well. 31 sols will have to do.

i was in a serious time crunch as holiday approached, so i needed to read another andy weir story, because i knew that even if it wasn't going to be a favorite, at least it would be short! of course, since it took me so long to post the stories i'd been reading and been just too exhausted to sit in front of a computer and format links and etc, i coulda read many other things and just lied about it. but NO! i read this one! and it was indeed very very short. my thinking was that a prequel to The Martian would be more interesting to me than some of his other GOTCHA stories, with their twists and not much else, but this one didn't really contribute much to the general plot of the martian. i suppose it's rife with irony, but there's really no reason to get excited about it. unless it's christmas eve and you need a super short story for your advent calendar. and then - WHEEE!

read it for yourself here:

https://blog.whsmith.co.uk/andy-weir-...

DECEMBER 1: FABLE - CHARLES YU
DECEMBER 2: THE REAL DEAL - ANDY WEIR
DECEMBER 3: THE WAYS OF WALLS AND WORDS - SABRINA VOURVOULIAS
DECEMBER 4: GHOSTS AND EMPTIES - LAUREN GROFF
DECEMBER 5: THE RETURN OF THE THIN WHITE DUKE - NEIL GAIMAN
DECEMBER 6: WHEN THE YOGURT TOOK OVER - JOHN SCALZI
DECEMBER 7: A CHRISTMAS PAGEANT - DONNA TARTT
DECEMBER 8: DEEP - PHILIP PLAIT
DECEMBER 9: COOKIE JAR - STEPHEN KING
DECEMBER 10: THE STORY OF KAO YU - PETER S. BEAGLE
DECEMBER 11: THE HEEBIE-JEEBIES - ALAN BEARD
DECEMBER 12: THE TOMATO THIEF - URSULA VERNON
DECEMBER 13: THE JAWS THAT BITE, THE CLAWS THAT CATCH - SEANAN MCGUIRE
DECEMBER 14: ROLLING IN THE DEEP - JULIO ALEXI GENAO
DECEMBER 15: ANTIHYPOXIANT - ANDY WEIR
DECEMBER 16: THE AMBUSH - DONNA TARTT
DECEMBER 17: THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A TRAITOR AND A HALF-SAVAGE - ALIX HARROW
DECEMBER 18: THE CHRISTMAS SHOW - PAT CADIGAN
DECEMBER 19: THE GHOSTS OF CHRISTMAS - PAUL CORNELL
DECEMBER 20: THE TRAINS THAT CLIMB THE WINTER TREE - MICHAEL SWANWICK
DECEMBER 21: BLUE IS A DARKNESS WEAKENED BY LIGHT - SARAH MCCARRY
DECEMBER 22: WATERS OF VERSAILLES - KELLY ROBSON
DECEMBER 23: RAZORBACK - URSULA VERNON
DECEMBER 25: CHANGING MEANINGS - SEANAN MCGUIRE
DECEMBER 26: SHOGGOTHS IN BLOOM - ELIZABETH BEAR
DECEMBER 27: THE CARTOGRAPHY OF SUDDEN DEATH - CHARLIE JANE ANDERS
DECEMBER 28: FRIEDRICH THE SNOW MAN - LEWIS SHINER
DECEMBER 29: DRESS YOUR MARINES IN WHITE - EMMY LAYBOURNE
DECEMBER 30: AM I FREE TO GO? - KATHRYN CRAMER
DECEMBER 31: OLD DEAD FUTURES - TINA CONNOLLY

come to my blog!

[Will Byrnes · Rating 3 out of 5]

Holy crap!

Just in case you have not already had your fill of The Martian, there is a short prequel out there, Diary of an AssCan: A Mark Watney Short Story, by Andy Weir of course. In this one, Watney learns that he has been selected, applies some very PG profanity, then goes on to some of the prep. It is adorable, and somewhat interesting. The sheer brevity keeps it from achieving escape velocity, but it will lift you off the pad a safe distance, definitely worth a few minutes of your time if you enjoyed its larger sibling. And there is a nice slice of irony as Watney considers the journey ahead.


How big was this book and then the movie?

Here is a link to my review of The Martian

[Tadiana ✩Night Owl☽ · Rating 3 out of 5]

Me, ten minutes ago: A short story prequel to The Martian?? Yes!!! Where is it? *ditches work and immediately starts reading*

Me, now: So. What was the point of this story, exactly?

This is mildly interesting if you liked The Martian and are interested in the astronaut prep process, and what might go through an astronaut's head during that time. Mark Watney kind of blathers on; there's some technical discussion of orbital science and some psychological testing of the crew, and a few thoughts that are amusing and rather ironic if you know what happens later:

My crewmates and I were chosen partially because the psych team figured we’d work well together. And they were right. We’ve been through rigorous training, travel, sleep deprivation, and constant fatigue together. It’s made us stronger and brought us closer together. We’re like war buddies. We would literally die for each other.

But I swear to God if I see any of them in the next few days, I’ll strangle them.

It's not a complete story in any sense, more like an outtake or deleted scene. But since it was free online, I'm not complaining. Much.

2.5 stars. FMFO (For Martian Fans Only). Free online at http://blog.whsmith.co.uk/andy-weir-t...

[Mareeva · Rating 2 out of 5]

useless

[Dez the Bookworm · Rating 5 out of 5]

A prequel to The Martian - how do you NOT read this?!

It’s an incredibly short story in diary format for the MMC. It was a great little setup for the full novel and beyond the fact it’s so short,I enjoyed it. If you take it at face value for an intro more than a novela, there are no disappointments.

Main takeaway - this is a fun intro, don’t expect anything amazing. Considered it a few extra pages that would have been at the beginning of The Martian. 🙃

[Alex ☣ Deranged KittyCat ☣ · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish there were a way to spend more time on the surface. But oh well. 31 sols will have to do.

Available online.

*Read this for our May Short Story Month Marathon, a personal challenge during which Sandra and I will be going through our short story collection.

[Carol · Rating 4 out of 5]

Finally got around to reading this super-duper short prequel to THE MARTIAN....a super-duper 5 Star read for me.

Wish there would have been more text, but a nice setup....and what the hey....it was free!

Love Andy Weir....Loved THE MARTIAN!

[Chad · Rating 3 out of 5]

In this prelude to The Martian, there are three entries from Mark Watney's diary during his prep for his mission. There's not really much new here in this incredibly short short-story. But if you miss Watney's snarky attitude, it's on full display in these entries.

It can be found here: https://blog.whsmith.co.uk/andy-weir-...

[Ashley Marie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read this in about ten minutes just now. Didn't even know it existed til eleven minutes ago. Glad to hear more from Watney, because I love his voice. Wasn't a big fan of all the Matt Damon plastered everywhere as I scrolled (because apparently that's the only book cover that matters now that the film is out) AND I LIKE MATT DAMON. But enough is enough, yeesh. Not sure what the point of this was, therefore 3 stars, but it was short and sweet and cool to see his prep and pre-launch excitement :)

[TL *Humaning the Best She Can* · Rating 3 out of 5]

Other than being in Mark's head again, this was just okay... not anything new

This was my favorite bit:
"I will never in my life hate anything more than I hate Missed Orbit Scenario.

My crewmates and I were chosen partially because the psych team figured we’d work well together. And they were right. We’ve been through rigorous training, travel, sleep deprivation, and constant fatigue together. It’s made us stronger and brought us closer together. We’re like war buddies. We would literally die for each other.

But I swear to God if I see any of them in the next few days, I’ll strangle them."

Read it here

[Dennis · Rating 2 out of 5]

Short prequel to The Martian.

Told from Mark's point of view we see his reaction to being selected for the Ares 3 mission and to spending three days in the MAV with his crewmates during a Missed Orbit Scenario simulation.

Doesn't really add anything to the main story or characters. But there's one line that made me chuckle, considering what I know happens later.

2.5 stars

Can be read for free here: https://blog.whsmith.co.uk/andy-weir-...

Apparently there are three more short stories. But I couldn't find them. Seems like they are exclusive to one of the several audio versions of The Martian. While I was rifling the internet in search of those, I accidentally read some fan fiction about a returned to Earth Mark Watney that is diagnosed with C-PTSD and DPDR. Actually wasn't bad. So it wasn't a total waste of time.

[carol. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Free at http://blog.whsmith.co.uk/andy-weir-t...

This is essentially a fragment of Mark's pre-Mars journal that relies more than a little on the reader previously reading The Martian. Without that context, it was not developed well. Weir could have done a lot more with the characters by elaborating the build-up to leaving, either Mark's or the rest of the team. Yes, Weir, we get irony: "It’ll take months to get there, and we’ll only be spending 31 sols (Martian days) on the surface... It’ll be a tight schedule of experiments and EVAs while we’re there."

Ha. Ha.

Two and a half unfinished stars.

[فايز غازي Fayez Ghazi · Rating 1 out of 5]

Please note: This review includes language that some might find offensive.

Holy crap. I mean seriously. Holy crap.

what I just read? a piece of nothing!!!

[Adina ( on a short Hiatus) · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good reminder of Andy's Weir style. Too short too be anything special.

[Daniel · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fun little dity from Watney in the pre launch days. You learn NOTHING new but it's still fun to hear his thoughts.

For fans a ok.

[Karen’s Library · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's Watney! This is a short story prequel to The Martian. I've missed Mark Watney!!

[Wayne Barrett · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow! This really is short. Took me all of five minutes to read.

Well, I loved the book so when I recently started seeing this short story circulating I added it to my list. If I had known how short it was I would have read it right then and there. Especially since there is a link connected to the story synopsis...and it's free!

When I first started reading I thought his opening comments were a little plain, a little corny even, but within a minute of reading I realized I was caught up in the story, enjoying it, and then-- bam! it was over. But...I know where it went from there anyway.

All in all, for a short, short story, this was good. Especially if you have read the book.

[Vicky N. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Super fun short story that serves as a prequel to The Martian. It is a sweet little story for any Andy Weir's fans looking for a little extra Watney.

[YouKneeK · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a short story of only about seven pages, set before The Martian. It can be found for free here: https://blog.whsmith.co.uk/andy-weir-...

The story is written in the form of three entries from Mark Watney’s diary. The first entry was written after he found out he was selected to go to Mars. The second entry tells about one of the training scenarios he and his team had to endure. The third entry was written the night before the launch.

I haven’t yet read The Martian, but that’s next up on my list. There wasn’t much meat to this story, but it served to introduce me to Mark, who I assume will be a main character. I also gained some insight into the team dynamics and learned a little bit about the plans for their mission to Mars. Mark seems like he’ll be a fun and enthusiastic character to read about.

As a standalone story this would seem pretty pointless I think, but I enjoyed it since I knew it was just the beginning of a larger story. It made me eager to dive into the actual book.

[Cathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Link to the free online version of this short story:
http://blog.whsmith.co.uk/andy-weir-t...

"Hopefully, I’ll be able to really learn how plant growth works on the Red Planet."
Absolutely!

"I wish there were a way to spend more time on the surface.
Riiiiight!

Nive, very, very short climpse into Matt Watney before launch. Makes me want to re-read the book...

[Trish · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish there were a way to spend more time on the surface. But oh well. 31 sols will have to do.

Bwahahahaha. I guess it's the typical case of BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR! :D

[Henry · Rating 4 out of 5]

Too short.

[River · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5/5

[Melissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Eh, it's a short prequel, took like 10 minutes to read. What do you expect? It was entertaining. Thankfully The Martian was a much better story than this prequel. If you haven't read The Martian, I highly recommend, but please don't read this short first; it might turn you off.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I absolutely loved The Martian when I read it so as soon as I saw there was a free online prequel (read it here: http://blog.whsmith.co.uk/andy-weir-t...) I had to dive straight in.

This is a very short diary extract showing some of Mark's experiences after he finds he's been selected for the Ares 3 mission and when he's in training for the mission. It was great to be back in his head again and I enjoyed every minute of it, my only complaint is I wanted it to be longer :o)

[Manisha · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Martian is one of my favourite sci-fi books of all time. It’s thrilling, witty, funny, packed with adventure, and most of all, I fell in love with the voice of Mark Watney.

This little snippet of a story doesn’t contribute much to The Martian, but, oh, the irony.

“I wish there were a way to spend more time on the surface...”

[Matías · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’ll take months to get there, and we’ll only be spending 31 sols (Martian days) on the surface. Then it’s several months to get back home. It’ll be a tight schedule of experiments and EVAs while we’re there.

XDDDDDDDD.
Estuvo bien.

[Holly (The GrimDragon) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Everything is ready. So I better be ready, too.

I will read anything with Mark Watney! This was a super short glimpse into a few diary entries leading up to the events in the novel. I wish it was longer!

[Unsolved ☕︎ Mystery · Rating 5 out of 5]

A short prequel to The Martian.

Read this short story here.



Would I recommend this book? Yes, I would!
Would I read this author again? Yes, I would and I have:
The Martian

Midtown Butcher

Bored World

Antihypoxiant

Meeting Sarah

Access

The Real Deal

The Chef

The Egg

Annie's Day