In 1990, I think, I would have been the very last person in my middle school you would have predicted to go into a career in fashion. My mom having just died a year before, my dad beginning the slow process of drinking himself to death as a result, I was that kid who wore the same ratty sweatpants to school every day, never showered, felt almost nothing but an outraged sense of confusion and disgust at the sudden severing of myself from childhood, for which I blamed (strangely it seems to me now) the new adolescent world of trendiness and so-called 'popularity' my peers were entering without me. I want to emphasize that this was no proto-grunge rebellion, but the deep categorical blindness of nerdery: I wasn't dressing differently on purpose to say "NO", I was fundamentally failing to realize that clothes had any meaning at all. Furthermore, even in my relatively exuberant youth I was more afraid than desirous of people noticing me: I recently found, in one my mother's weekly letters to my grandmother, her talking about how I was too self-conscious to wear red pants. I was four. But throughout middle school I was at my most intensely ignorant and angry about fashion. It wasn't until I was in high school that I first encountered the CK One ads featuring Kate Moss, an encounter which improbably enough was perhaps the most significant of my entire life, and certainly changed it forever.
I tell this story frequently, because at some point I realized it was better than whatever self-conscious lies I was telling about how I got interested in fashion. It's entirely because I fell in love with a skinny girl in an ad. I was just beginning to feel that my peers and pop culture could be the source of something other than pain; watching VH1 and finding people at school responded better to smiles than scowls. My teenage crush led me to scour the barely-existent Internet, where you spent fifteen minutes to download one bad low-res scan of a photo, but I soon exhausted the early web, and I knew the only place to get more pictures, new pictures, was in fashion magazines. I distinctly remember picking up my first issue of Vogue at the library and furtively tearing out the CK Jeans ad in the front, walking home with that incriminating contraband in my backpack, terrified and ecstatic. (I didn't jerk off to Kate, though the kids assumed I did I'm sure; I was never really sexually attracted to her, but deeply in that strange pure chivalrous love of virgin boys.) Rather than feel such guilt again, I started buying issues at the convenience store, and eventually got a subscription.
At first I just went through, cover to cover, with an X-Acto knife, finding every picture of Kate (and there were plenty in those mid-90s days, all through the magazine, from ads to editorials to paparazzi shots) and carefully cutting it from the magazine to add to my growing pile. But soon I started to have opinions, about photographers, about makeup and hair, and at length about clothes. It was an incredibly rich time in fashion, from the avant minimalism of Helmut Lang and Prada to the conceptual weirdness of Martin Margiela and Hussein Chalayan to the fecund genius of Galliano and Comme Des Garcons. And oh yeah, the two dudes profiled in this book.
Their contributions were never bad, but not really to my taste either. Marc Jacobs is American, with all that implies; while his taste and artistic aspirations reach as high as Americans get, it's still basic, pretty, commercial clothes to sell. McQueen is destined to forever be overrated as martyrs often are, and spent his life rooting around in Vivienne Westwood's castoffs drawer. While he was a great stylist and showman, despite all his bluster about being the Only Competent Man in Fashion who could cut and sew etc, he was in the end a guy who bedazzled things, took a basic pattern and put a bunch of stuff on it. Beautifully so, but never a true pattern cutter in the Vionnet tradition. (In my opinion there have only been two true revolutionaries of fashion: Vionnet, whose approach, like that of Braque and Picasso, did not resemble in any particular whatsoever the method of anyone before her, and precious few since; and Westwood, a medium through which a generation spoke an entirely new fashion language. The only person possibly in their league is Kawakubo Rei of Comme Des Garcons, who synthesizes the two.) Since McQueen is now the tragic martyr, and Galliano the disgraced piece of shit, the comparison will always be in McQueen's favor, but Galliano was the only non-Japanese pattern cutter of his generation, and therefore in my mind will always be the greater master of the two, because cutting has always been the only thing I really respect in fashion. I wish I could find on the internet the ad where I thought the dress was almost as beautiful as Kate: a canary-yellow, minimalist Calvin Klein full-length with an asymmetrical hem. It was the first time that the interaction between fabric, seams, the body, and gravity took hold of me.
The stories in this book were mostly familiar to me. In many ways it is less about Kate and McQueen than it is about the other tragic figures in their lives, who helped create, and were later discarded by them: Corinne Day, the grunge photographer par excellence who invented the 90s with her photos of Kate in The Face in 1990 (before Nevermind, before anything); and Isabella Blow, the avant-garde hat-wearing stylist and professional discoverer who bought McQueen's degree collection, two people who deeply influenced me in the 90s and beyond (I called out of work the day Blow killed herself, unwilling to try to explain to people why I was so miserable about it.) Callahan feels a strange need to puncture familiar legends (McQueen sewing naughty words into jackets for Prince Charles, anyone having a sense that the newly-discovered Kate was something special, etc) and replace them with the most ludicrous gossip of decadent Primrose Hill sex parties and massive hills of cocaine strong enough to kill an elephant. It's comfortable, fun, effortless reading, even if the rise-and-fall narrative is overly familiar. I really did thoroughly enjoy it, though the writing is nothing to write home about.
These days, though I still like sewing and work as a tailor, my love for fashion is at a low ebb. Somewhere around the end of the first decade of the 2000s, after decades of unbelievable genius, the real sense of an emerging tradition of greatness, something went wrong and everything began to suck. I never really fit in -- I'm still the least fashionable person I know, just more boringly presentable, and this book reminds me of some of the bullshit pretensions of the fashion world that alienated me from everyone at Parsons. (The claim that nobody works harder than a fashion designer is constantly hammered on in the fashion world, and it is absolutely ridiculous and offensive. The Indonesian seamstresses handcuffed to their sewing machines that actually make the fucking clothes don't have any energy left for sex parties and mountains of cocaine, you know what I mean?) But more than that it just reminds me of a lost world, a time when fashion was the most exciting art form on earth.