Difficult Conversations In A Week: How To Have Better Conversations In Seven Simple Steps

by Martin Manser

Difficult conversations just got easier
How do you deal professionally with a colleague whose work is seriously below standard? A supplier who is always late? Saying 'no' graciously? Giving someone bad news? Many of us have been on the receiving end of business conversations that have been badly handled, poorly timed or scarcely prepared for by the person we're talking to.

This practical book offers help to new and aspiring managers in a variety of business situations, such as delivering bad news in an appraisal, and how to work with a range of colleagues who may be lazy, negative orincompetent.

Whether you choose to read it in a week or in a single sitting, Difficult Conversations In A Week is your fastest route to

- Why are some conversations difficult? We may tend to avoid difficult how else can you deal with them?
- Manage your emotions Distinguish the facts of an incident and how colleagues feel about it and their sense of identity.
- Prepare well The venue, atmosphere and timing of a difficult conversation are all important. It is essential that you prepare well, especially your opening words and the direction that you want the conversation to go in, including alternative ways to resolve the issue.
- Listen carefully As you listen, you discover more about your colleague's background and motivation. You also need to learn how to ask incisive questions that get to the root of an issue.
- Treat colleagues with respect In a difficult conversation, you need to affirm your colleague and continue to listen until they feel heard. You will explain your point of view politely, yet firmly, being neither passive nor aggressive in tone.
- Seek change Involve colleagues in a conversation; learn how to deal with certain kinds of colleagues, for example, those who are lazy, aggressive or shy.
- Build trusting relationships Work hard to develop strong working relationships, so that when you have to have a difficult conversation, you will be better placed to do sobecause you will know the person better.

128 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 31, 2014

Reviews

[Bryan Tanner · Rating 3 out of 5]

My Key Takeaways
• The "Johari Window," named after American psychologists Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham in 1955 is a powerful model for developing one's self-awareness. The goals of this model is to increase the size of area 1 (open) by gradually decreasing the size of area 3 (hidden), and to minimize area 2 (blind) by accepting feedback from others. (p.15)

• In difficult conversations, it is important to deal with both the emotions surrounding the issues, as well as dealing with the issue itself. Before parties can rationally work towards achieving a positive solution, the emotions must be expressed (by each party) and validated (by the other) to the point that the each feels the other understands how they feel. (p.75)

• If something is going wrong with your team, it probably has to do with at least one of the following leadership keys to developing strong teamwork (pp.112-4):

Communicate a vision.

Set clear goals for your team.

Remember that a team is essentially a group of people, not skills, agendas or problems.

Know that the strength of your team comes from a combination of strengths.

Ensure your values as a team are agreed.

Clarify the responsibilities of each member of the team so that not only each individual knows their responsibilities but also the whole team knows what each member of the team does.

Try to assign work to colleagues that suits their passion and skills so that you can get the best out of them.

Ensure lines of authority and responsibility are clear.

Be flexible about what is negotiable and different styles of working.

Be fair and treat all your colleagues equally, even though you may like some more than others.

Make sure each team member works as hard as every other one in fulfilling their responsibilities.

Encourage openness.

Encourage team members to use their initiative.

Encourage colleagues to look out for one another; if one is struggling, another steps in to assist.

Challenge the team to work even more effectively. #Kaizen

Set in place effective monitoring controls to track what you are doing and then evaluate your progress regularly.

Celebrate success by recognizing the successes of individuals and the team as a whole.

Criticism:
This was my first "In a Week" book. It's a cute idea for chunking information, but only serves as a gimmick, which distracts from the main points of the book. I did appreciate the end-of-chapter quizzes. Despite the hokiness of the multiple choice options, it was an appreciated opportunity to review what I had read during previous "days."

[Julise · Rating 3 out of 5]

very practical and specific but I feel bored.