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The Porn Circuit: Understand Your Brain and Break Porn Habits in 90 Days
The more frequently men view pornography, the more they are likely to say they are less satisfied with sex and relationships.
Science shows us that acting out with pornography taps into our powerful neurochemistry, and this can quickly lead a person to use porn habitually. Much like a drug, the chemicals that fire when watching porn cause the brain to increasingly crave it until eventually it can feel almost impossible to break free.
In this e-book, you’ll learn:
- What chemicals fire during porn use
- How sensitization, triggers, and compulsiveness turn pornography into a habit
- Why porn is addictive
- Why one image is never enough
- How porn ruins sex and intimacy
- How to find freedom from porn addiction in 90 days
Science shows us that acting out with pornography taps into our powerful neurochemistry, and this can quickly lead a person to use porn habitually. Much like a drug, the chemicals that fire when watching porn cause the brain to increasingly crave it until eventually it can feel almost impossible to break free.
In this e-book, you’ll learn:
- What chemicals fire during porn use
- How sensitization, triggers, and compulsiveness turn pornography into a habit
- Why porn is addictive
- Why one image is never enough
- How porn ruins sex and intimacy
- How to find freedom from porn addiction in 90 days
Unknown Binding
First published January 1, 2013
19 people are currently reading
301 people want to read
About the author
Sam Black
3 books9 followersSam Black is the author of The Healing Church: What Churches Get Wrong About Pornography and How to Fix It. The director of recovery education at Covenant Eyes, Sam joined the Covenant Eyes team in 2007 after 18 years as an award-winning journalist. He has edited 16 books on the impact of pornography and speaks at parent, men’s, and leaders events. Sam also wrote The Porn Circuit: Understand Your Brain and Break Porn Habits. Sam is passionate about helping Christians live free from pornography because he knows you keep what you give away. He walks his own grace-filled journey with the support of valued allies.
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January 28, 2023
الإنسان في عالم الإباحية لا يرقى إلى مرتبة " الحيوان " ؛ فالحيوان لم يختر أن يكون حيواناً ، ولكن الانسان بإرادته يختار !....
الإدمان على الإباحية يتشكل من دائرة مغلقة تبدأ بمشاهدة المواقع الإباحية ، تصريف الشهوة ، الاحتفاظ بالسر ، الشعور بالخجل ، والبدء من جديد وهكذا....
لقد تبين بأن الأمر ليس إدمان المشاهدة بل هناك طوفان لعين يجتاح المرء ، يحطم كل الحواجز النفسية التي كان يتخذها كالشعور بالذنب والخوف من العقاب الآلهي، ومن ثم تدمير كل شيء جميل أكان أخلاقي...روحي...إنساني...
سبحان الله ليس بعقل أي انسان مسارات عصبية مُهيأة سلفاً لاستقبال مثيرات الإباحية ، لكن هى تُنحت في العقل عبر تكرار مشاهدة الإباحية ، وقد ارتبطت بالشعور الزائف بالسعادة على إثر تصريف الشهوة...
هناك انفجار كيميائي خطير من الهرمونات الجنسية التي تجعل المرء حبيساً لتلك المشاهدات وتعزز الارتباط بها ، وتصبح كالمخدر لابد من الحصول منه على جرعة كافية ليستطيع المُضي قدماً...
وعن فكرة التعلق والخوف من الانفصال خاصة لمن أدمن الاباحية في سن المراهقة لما يتسم به من المرونة الجنسية والعصبية....
وأما المحفزات الدافعة فهى بقوتها الثلاثية المتمثلة في المجانية ، السرية ، سهولة الوصول تتمكن من تحقيق الإدمان....
كما تطرق الكاتب إلى تأثير إدمان الإباحية على الحياة الزوجية ، اجترار الشهوة وعدم الشعور بالرضا والاكتفاء وما يترتب على ذلك من تداعيات خطيرة في العلاقة بين الزوجين وعلى الحياة الأسرية...
لم يكن هناك حقاً تعبير أفضل من إن إدمان الإباحية هو طوفان لعين يدمر كل ما هو جميل....
تناول الفصل الأخير كيفية الاقلاع عن هذا الإدمان وكيف يصبح المرء انساناً جديداً ، ودون الخوض في التفاصيل إلا إنه على المُدمن أن يدرك
أولاً : آلية تأثير الإباحية على الدماغ وإنه لابد من بناء مسارات عصبية جديدة تنتج سلوكيات إيجابية...
ثانياً : اليقظة لحيل العقل الذي يجاهد لرد المدمن إلى تلك المسارات العصبية القديمة...
رحلة التعافي قد تستغرق ٩٠ يوماً ، تستحق خوضها من أجل بناء انسان جديد يستطيع التعامل مع الزلة والانتكاسة وأن يسترد ما فقد ألا وهو الروح التي قضمتها الشهوة اللعينة ، يتذكر بأن هناك ما يستحق الاشباع سوى الجسد ألا وهو الروح ، وأن السعادة الحقيقة لا تأتي إلا بالارتقاء على سلم الانسانية....
الطرح رائع وسلس ، حميمي جداً دون أن يصدر الأحكام ولا يلقي باللعنات على مُدمني الإباحية بل تفهم موقف احدهم بعدم الاستجابة عندما يُنصَح بالتوقف وأن عليه الكف عن ذلك ، جملة توحي بتفاهة المشكلة رغم كونها خطيرة جداااا....
تناول العوامل والمؤثرات ورحلة التعافي في سرد حكائي لا يفتقد النظريات والدراسات العلمية والتي تدعم الطرح في صورة مقبولة وكفيلة بإحداث فارقاً في حياة أي مدمن على الإباحية.....
الإدمان على الإباحية يتشكل من دائرة مغلقة تبدأ بمشاهدة المواقع الإباحية ، تصريف الشهوة ، الاحتفاظ بالسر ، الشعور بالخجل ، والبدء من جديد وهكذا....
لقد تبين بأن الأمر ليس إدمان المشاهدة بل هناك طوفان لعين يجتاح المرء ، يحطم كل الحواجز النفسية التي كان يتخذها كالشعور بالذنب والخوف من العقاب الآلهي، ومن ثم تدمير كل شيء جميل أكان أخلاقي...روحي...إنساني...
سبحان الله ليس بعقل أي انسان مسارات عصبية مُهيأة سلفاً لاستقبال مثيرات الإباحية ، لكن هى تُنحت في العقل عبر تكرار مشاهدة الإباحية ، وقد ارتبطت بالشعور الزائف بالسعادة على إثر تصريف الشهوة...
هناك انفجار كيميائي خطير من الهرمونات الجنسية التي تجعل المرء حبيساً لتلك المشاهدات وتعزز الارتباط بها ، وتصبح كالمخدر لابد من الحصول منه على جرعة كافية ليستطيع المُضي قدماً...
وعن فكرة التعلق والخوف من الانفصال خاصة لمن أدمن الاباحية في سن المراهقة لما يتسم به من المرونة الجنسية والعصبية....
وأما المحفزات الدافعة فهى بقوتها الثلاثية المتمثلة في المجانية ، السرية ، سهولة الوصول تتمكن من تحقيق الإدمان....
كما تطرق الكاتب إلى تأثير إدمان الإباحية على الحياة الزوجية ، اجترار الشهوة وعدم الشعور بالرضا والاكتفاء وما يترتب على ذلك من تداعيات خطيرة في العلاقة بين الزوجين وعلى الحياة الأسرية...
لم يكن هناك حقاً تعبير أفضل من إن إدمان الإباحية هو طوفان لعين يدمر كل ما هو جميل....
تناول الفصل الأخير كيفية الاقلاع عن هذا الإدمان وكيف يصبح المرء انساناً جديداً ، ودون الخوض في التفاصيل إلا إنه على المُدمن أن يدرك
أولاً : آلية تأثير الإباحية على الدماغ وإنه لابد من بناء مسارات عصبية جديدة تنتج سلوكيات إيجابية...
ثانياً : اليقظة لحيل العقل الذي يجاهد لرد المدمن إلى تلك المسارات العصبية القديمة...
رحلة التعافي قد تستغرق ٩٠ يوماً ، تستحق خوضها من أجل بناء انسان جديد يستطيع التعامل مع الزلة والانتكاسة وأن يسترد ما فقد ألا وهو الروح التي قضمتها الشهوة اللعينة ، يتذكر بأن هناك ما يستحق الاشباع سوى الجسد ألا وهو الروح ، وأن السعادة الحقيقة لا تأتي إلا بالارتقاء على سلم الانسانية....
الطرح رائع وسلس ، حميمي جداً دون أن يصدر الأحكام ولا يلقي باللعنات على مُدمني الإباحية بل تفهم موقف احدهم بعدم الاستجابة عندما يُنصَح بالتوقف وأن عليه الكف عن ذلك ، جملة توحي بتفاهة المشكلة رغم كونها خطيرة جداااا....
تناول العوامل والمؤثرات ورحلة التعافي في سرد حكائي لا يفتقد النظريات والدراسات العلمية والتي تدعم الطرح في صورة مقبولة وكفيلة بإحداث فارقاً في حياة أي مدمن على الإباحية.....
July 16, 2017
This book offers good explanations for porn addiction and advice on how to fight it off. As someone who struggled with porn addiction in the past and pretty much recovered from it, I can vouch for the validity of many of the strategies exposed here. It bothers me however that the author keeps referring only to *marital* sex as the healthy alternative, rather than sex within a committed relationship in general, i.e. with or without marriage. Other small cues also indicate that the author has at least some religious bias, if not a religious agenda of some sort, though he still made a good job of staying as neutral and objective as possible, and backing up many of his claims with good scientific sources. I cannot tell if he was selective about the resources themselves though.
Having said all of this, I must stress nonetheless that this e-book is still a good resource for anyone who suffers from porn addiction, whether they are aware of it or not, to understand the problems it can cause in one's life, and how to go about fighting its thrall. Some of the explanations and advice applies even to other forms of addiction, such as food addiction, Internet addiction in general or social media addition in particular, etc.
For people looking for more resources on building or breaking habits, I would suggest "The Power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg and "The Willpower Instinct" (both on my list of read books).
Having said all of this, I must stress nonetheless that this e-book is still a good resource for anyone who suffers from porn addiction, whether they are aware of it or not, to understand the problems it can cause in one's life, and how to go about fighting its thrall. Some of the explanations and advice applies even to other forms of addiction, such as food addiction, Internet addiction in general or social media addition in particular, etc.
For people looking for more resources on building or breaking habits, I would suggest "The Power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg and "The Willpower Instinct" (both on my list of read books).
May 4, 2017
http://www.covenanteyes.com/resources...
الكتاب قصير جدا عدد صفحاته 47.
متوفر، مجّانا، نسخة بي دي اف، من الموقع المذكور.
بيتكلم عن الـ neuroplasticity وفهم آلية الادمان.
أدركت من الكتاب ان صناعة البورن هي أكبر الممارسات المناهضة للمرأة والمسيئة في العالم المعاصر، صناعة البورن هي صناعة تروج للعنف والاستغلال الأداتي للمرأة. كون انها مقبولة ده بيخليها أكثر خطورة من الممارسات المتعارف عليها أو المتفق على انها مسئية زي الختان، البورن شئ مقبول جدا في العالم والغرب ولأن رفضه واستهجانه ارتبط بالدين، فاستخدامه والترويج ليه ظهر كرد فعل باعتباره حرية جنسية. لكن الحقيقة ان الغرب بيتكشف النهاردة ان حتى من منطلق الحرية الجنسية فصناعة البورن صناعة مضرة بالحياة الجنسية، ومضرة نفسيا، وبتخلق أذواق جنسية غريبة وبتحولها للطبيعي. لذلك وجب من منطلق حقوق الانسان وحقوق المرأة التعامل معاها كتعامل مع أي مادة بتروج للعبودية أو الكراهية ومنعها من هذا المنطلق.
البعض بيقول ان من احترام الحرية احترام حرية الأشخاص المشاركين في مثل المواد دي في اختيار ان ده يبقى شغلهم، ولدول بنقول لو في ميديا بتصور ناس بتعور نفسها أو بتمثل افلام فيها عنف ضد الحيوانات أو الأطفال أو بتروج للعصبية الدينية أو العرقية هل يمكن السماح بيها من نفس المنطلق؟
أنا شايف ان ظاهرة انتشار الطلب على الأفلام الاباحية هي في جوهرها حاجة للحميمية، في العلاقات عموما، التكنولوجيا الحديثة وعصر الشاشات ساعدت اننا ننعزل، ومن نفسيرات الادمان انه في جوهره حاجة للتواصل بيعوضها الانسان باللذة المصطنعة للمادة الادمانية، عشان كدا بداية التعامل مع الادمانات بأنواعها هو باعادة العلاقات الحقيقية لحياتنا، والتواصل الحقيقي، والحميمية الحقيقية، ده ح يكون تعامل مع الطلب، بدل ما يكون التعامل مع العرض بالمنع.
مرتبط جدا بهذا الكتاب، كتاب Willpower for Dummies
الكتاب ح يشتغل مع الكتاب ده، لأنه بيتكلم عن نفس الموضوع، بس من زاوية أخرى، والاتنين مكملين لبعض.
المستهلك الأكبر للمواد الاباحية هو الأطفال من أعمار 12 لـ 17 عام بحسب الاحصائية المذكورة في الكتاب.
HYPOFRONTALITY: Compulsiveness.
بداية أي علاج لسلوك هو العلاج المعرفي، المعرفة هي اللي بتقطع الوهم، بداية التخلص من أي عادة هي فهمها، فهم أضرارها، لأن العقل هو الوسيلة اللي الانسان بيقيم بيها.
العادة السرية والأفلام الاباحية بتربط الجنس بمشاعر العار، مما يمنع القدرة على التعامل مع الجنس بشكل سوي.
88% من مشاهد الأفلام الاباحية تحتوي على عنف، مما يروج للعنف الجنسي ويؤصل له على أنه شئ مقبول وسوي.
49% من الأفلام الاباحية تحتوي على عنف لفظي.
The Chemistry of Addiction: الفيديو ده مهم جدا وبيشرح كيمياء الادمان:
https://youtu.be/ukFjH9odsXw
Addiction: https://youtu.be/ao8L-0nSYzg
The Addicted Brain l Science of Addiction: https://youtu.be/1G93lz-JK-E
The Science of Addiction: https://youtu.be/VI4KZWtROt0
Neuroplasticity: https://youtu.be/ELpfYCZa87g
Your Brain is Plastic: https://youtu.be/5KLPxDtMqe8
Mindfulness, Neuroplasticity: https://youtu.be/7TN23YiGkAQ
الأفلام الاباحية والعادة السرية في حقيقة الأمر لا تقومان بالاشباع وانما تؤديان الى مزيد من الاستثارة، حيث أن الاشباع الجنسي لا يتحقق من خلال الأورجازم وحده وانما يحتاج الى تواصل بشري حقيقي.
"The pornified brain sounds a lot like Mick Jagger; it can’t get no satisfaction.
On the surface it sounds absurd. Pornography offers endless opportunities for arousal. If a
human masturbates to a wider range of images or videos, shouldn’t that satiate? The simple
answer is no.
Dr. Doidge explains that porn is more exciting than satisfying because we have two separate
pleasure systems in our brains: one for exciting pleasure and another for satisfying pleasure.
The exciting system, fueled by dopamine and anticipation, is all about appetite, such as
imagining your favorite meal or a sexual episode.1
The satisfying system involves actually having the meal or having sex, which provides a
calming, fulfilling pleasure. This system releases opiate-like endorphins that provide feelings of
peace and euphoria.
Pornography, Doidge writes, hyperactivates the appetite system.2 But the satisfying system
is left starving for the real thing, which includes actual touching, kissing, caressing, and a
connection not only with the body but also the mind and soul. The satisfying system releases
oxytocin and endorphins, and bellows, in the words of Marvin Gaye, “Ain’t nothing like the real
thing, Baby.”
The porn-saturated brain is fixated on sex, Struthers explains,3 but real sex is intended for
intimacy. The pornified brain is ready for multiple partners, images, and sexual possibilities,
but it is intended for a narrow focus of exclusive sharing. Porn’s neurological superhighway
is built for speed, but satisfying sex is designed for the slow and evolving discovery and
appreciation of a loving partner. Porn provides few off-ramps (masturbation) that offer fleeting
escapes that hasten the need for more. Meanwhile a committed couple can have long and
satisfying encounters with many off ramps for creative expressions of intimacy that are not
genitally oriented."
"Pornographers promise healthy pleasure and relief from sexual tension, but what they often deliver is an addiction, tolerance, and an eventual decrease in pleasure. Paradoxically, the male patients I worked with often craved pornography but didn’t like it."
"Porn encourages selfishness rather than an exchange of intimacy. Especially among men, who
are more visually stimulated than women, porn teaches that women are objects for their lust.
Women are just body parts, used for personal gratification."
"Pornography trains men to be consumers,5 to treat sex as a commodity, to think about sex as something on-tap and made-to-order. As Dr. Mary Anne Layden writes, “It is toxic miseducation about sex and relationships.”6 "
"In Dr. Gary Brooks’ book, The Centerfold Syndrome, he explains that because the women in porn are only glossy magazine pictures or pixels on the screen, they have no sexual or relational expectations of their own. This trains men to desire the cheap thrill of fantasy over a committed relationship that requires them to connect to another human being. Pornography essentially trains men to be digital voyeurs:
looking at women rather than seeking
genuine intimacy.7"
"According to a study published in the Journal
of Applied Social Psychology, after only a few
prolonged exposures to pornographic videos,
men and women alike reported less sexual
satisfaction with their intimate partners,
including their partners’ affection, physical
appearance, and sexual performance.8"
"Another study that appeared in the Journal
of Sex and Marital Therapy found similar
results. When men and women were
exposed to pictures of female centerfold
models from Playboy and Penthouse, this
significantly lowered their judgments about
the attractiveness of “average” people.9 "
"For instance, male porn users often believe more partners will bring greater satisfaction. But a
2011 study of long-term committed relationships (with a median duration of 25 years) showed
the opposite. The study showed that the longer a man was in a relationship, the more likely he
enjoyed relational happiness and sexual satisfaction. Women, in turn, enjoyed sex less during
the early years of their relationships and experienced greater satisfaction later.18 "
The Science of Internet Addiction & Brainpower: https://youtu.be/8UsI9CXHm6o
** أنصح بقراءة كتابي "أوسم وصفي" الآتيين
1 - الروحانية والتعافي: دور الروحانية الحقيقية في الشفاء والنضوج
2 - صحة العلاقات
"“Couples often are making that classic mistake of all addicts: that sex is equal to love or sex is
equal to intimacy,” Dr. Laaser says. “During the 90 days, we’re trying to teach the couple to
have intimacy in spiritual and emotional ways first and then eventually sexuality becomes an
expression of that intimacy.”9
What does intimacy look like? There is no formula for intimacy; it’s unique to each couple but
it has a lot to do with giving and sharing. Consider reading, praying, cooking, and taking walks
together. Many couples have forgotten how to play and have fun together. Couples need to
explore non-sexual means to express intimacy, and after the 90-day break, they will find this
discovered intimacy will make their sex life even stronger and more fulfilling, Laaser says."
*** جملة عجبتني جدا :
"" When Cortez decided to invade the world of the Aztecs in 1519, he burned his ships so there was no easy way to back out. ""
People committed to battling porn must set their “porn escape routes” ablaze.
* Whether the porn stash is in plain view or hidden in the garage, it all has to go up in flames. I
recall a friend who invited his 12-step program sponsor to his home where they built a bonfire
and roasted his porn videos. There were no marshmallows, he said, but watching the videos
burn brought warmth to his soul and strengthened his resolve for genuine recovery. Today, he
is porn free and leads a Celebrate Recovery10 group in Michigan.
* You may recall from chapter 3 that Dr. Cooper described a Triple-A Engine that draws people
into online sexual activity: accessibility, affordability, and anonymity.
These three factors work like three legs on a stool: remove just one of the legs and the stool will
fall (or at least make it awkward to sit on).
The leg easiest to break is anonymity.
Many therapists agree that Internet accountability software is one of the most effective ways for
a person to protect themselves or their loved one online. Accountability software monitors how
the Internet is used and delivers a report to trusted friend, spouse, or mentor. It encourages
a person to think before they click and avoid temptations, which builds up the willpower and
decision making of the brain’s prefrontal cortex. It also allows mentors to provide guidance
and arms them with accurate information for in depth conversations with the person who is
struggling.
In 2011, a university study showed that using Covenant Eyes Internet Accountability with a
motivating friend as an accountability partner has a major impact on abstinence from porn.
John Y. Lee, a doctoral student of clinical psychology at Fuller Theological Seminary tested
a technique called Motivational Interviewing (MI), which provides knowledge about how
porn negatively impacts people with conversations that encourage and reinforce the person’s
confidence that he or she can avoid pornography. People who received both MI and Covenant
Eyes reported a 66% decrease in relapse episodes in the four weeks after receiving the
interventions, compared with a control group.11
* “All natural predators look for the animal that has strayed from the herd. Be honest and get
accountable so your brain doesn’t get the best of you. Honesty can be as simple as having
Covenant Eyes Accountability software on your phone and computer. When your wife, pastor,
or accountability partner gets the report on your Internet travels, this is a form of honesty that
can protect and help you lead and maintain a clean life.”12
_________________________________________________________
*** New Habits, New Pathways, and Dopamine Rewards : (IMPORTANT)
As stated before, simply avoiding porn isn’t the only answer. New positive activities are needed.
Keep in mind the neurological concept of “use it or lose it.” Avoid an activity and its desire will
wane, pursue an activity and it will become more engrained.
New and positive habits need to be introduced, and they need to be rewarding and
entertaining.
Yes, entertaining!
“It’s not an uncommon cross addiction for the average addict to be a workaholic also,” Dr.
Laaser says. “So finding ways to recreate, relax, quiet time, those kinds of things are some of
the new healthy habits.13
“Having a hobby is one of the ways we could reward ourselves,” Dr. Laaser says. “I was talking
to a guy today who said, ‘I’ve always had carpentry skills, but I’ve never taken time to build
anything.’ Well, have a goal that one of your healthy habits is to do some woodworking at least
a few times a week.”
Exercise is another beneficial habit, and it feeds the body dopamine and endorphins. Starting
an exercise routine may feel rough at first if it has been a while, so dial the routine up slowly.
Soon the exercise will make a major difference in physical as well as mental wellbeing.
“This approach (of introducing positive habits) makes plastic sense because it grows a new
brain circuit that gives pleasure and triggers dopamine release which, as we have seen, rewards the new activity and consolidates and grows new neuronal connections,” Dr. Doidge writes: “This new circuit can eventually compete with the older one, and according to use it or lose it, the pathological networks will weaken. With this treatment we don’t so much ‘break’ bad habits as replace bad behaviors with better ones.”14
Whatever rewarding activity is pursued, it needs to be an activity that is reoccurring. Building
new rewarding neural pathways requires time and ongoing repetition. Doidge repeats the
neurological mantras:
1. Neurons that fire together wire together. Repeating a pleasurable activity instead
of the compulsive activity, such as porn use, forms a new circuit that is gradually
reinforced instead of the compulsion.
2. Neurons that fire apart wire apart. When a person refuses to act on a compulsion,
like porn and masturbation, it weakens the link between the activity and the idea
that it will provide relief.
Doidge teaches that delinking is crucial because while acting on a compulsion eases anxiety in
the short term, it worsens it in the long term.15
Finally, choose positive habits wisely. Rewarding activities that could trigger acting out should
be avoided. For instance alcohol, provocative movies, and public beaches (where sexual
temptations can flare) may need to be avoided, especially during this 90-day recovery period.
A person usually knows what activities can lead to temptation, and they must be avoided as rewards until the person’s decision-making routine is powered up.
______________________________________________________
*** Three-Second Rule: (IMPORTANT):
When watching TV, walking through the mall, or driving past billboards, temptation can strike
when least expected. Many therapists recommend using the 3-Second Rule, which involves
three steps: Alert, Avert, and Affirm.
1. Alert: Realize that you see something inappropriate. It may only take a split-second
to recognize a tempting situation.
2. Avert: Close your eyes or look away. These first two steps should be instantaneous.
3. Affirm: Give yourself a mental high-five to congratulate the effort. Say to yourself,
“I saw that by mistake, and I quickly looked away. I’ve been clean for (enter number
of days) and I’m going to stay that way.”
* “For as he thinks, so is he.” Proverbs 23:7
This verse from the ancient writings of Solomon is backed by neurology. Allowing the mind
to replay pornographic memories and fantasizing about pornography and sex can keep those
neural pathways flowing. From the concept of “use it or lose it,” fantasizing about porn and sex
equates to “using it,” or practicing the very thing you are hoping to avoid.
How a person expends mental energy has a direct impact on their neural pathways. Literally,
mental practice can equate to physical practice.
For example, Dr. Alvaro Pascual-Leone, chief of the Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center,
which is part of Harvard Medical School, conducted an experiment in which he taught two
groups of people to play a musical piece on a piano. None of the subjects had studied the piano
and they were shown which fingers to use and heard how the notes should be played.16
The first group sat in front of a keyboard for two hours for five days and imagined both playing
the sequence and hearing it. The second group spent the same amount of time physically
playing the piece. After the five days, each group was asked to play the musical sequence and a
computer was used to measure the accuracy of their performances.
The results: the group that had only imagined playing the piano played the musical notes on
the fifth day as well as the actual players had on their third day. If given just two additional
hours of actual practice, the imagining group performed to the same level as the group that
spent all of their time physically practicing.
Inappropriate thoughts can be combatted with positive thoughts, such as thinking of a new
hobby, playing music, repeating an inspiring quote, or some other positive activity. Mental and
physical escape routes should be prepared in advance to ward off sexual thinking. Of course,
each time temptation is resisted the person’s decision-making power grows stronger.
Although ineffective and addictive, pornography and masturbation are used as a salve for
pain, anxiety, depression, self-doubt, anger and other unhealthy feelings. These emotions and
misgivings are often deeply rooted, stemming from childhood, teen, and even adult trauma,
abuse, or wounds. All families have healthy and unhealthy qualities, and even mistakes “create
wounds in the human spirit,” Dr Laaser teaches.18
Blaming others and avoiding responsibility for porn use or sex addiction will not help someone
get well, Laaser writes, but the person should acknowledge the wounds they suffered and
accept that they did not deserve them. Rather than burying painful memories, which may
include physical, mental, and sexual abuse, these memories need to be brought to the surface
where they can be discussed and reviewed with a good friend or a counselor.
Paths to overcoming wounds of the past can’t be covered within a few paragraphs here. But
self-discovery, study, and counseling to overcome scars are a vital part of the recovery process.
The road to recovery is a heavyweight bout. A boxer keeps his gloves up to protect his face,
his elbows down to protect his ribs, and his eyes focused on his opponent’s every move. In
recovery, lowering one’s guard is like begging for a sucker punch. Stop being vigilant and the
addictive habits can ease back into life and again claim control.
Twenty years ago, Dr. Robert Brooks found that many of his patients were swimming in an
ocean of feelings of inadequacy. So he encouraged his patients to swim to what he calls “islands
of competence,” areas of their lives that are sources of pride and accomplishment. Encouraging
patients to focus on strengths rather than weaknesses and on optimism instead of pessimism
had a ripple effect that helped them confront situations and issues in their lives that were problematic. Expanding these islands allowed new islands of competence to emerge and feelings of inadequacy for individual situations grew shallow.22
These feelings of competence can also lead to healthy interests. For instance, a man who has
skills in carpentry can apply them to help needy or disabled families in his community. And
giving time to others can further improve feelings of accomplishment.
-- I loved the book, and think I'll be back to reading it again.
الكتاب قصير جدا عدد صفحاته 47.
متوفر، مجّانا، نسخة بي دي اف، من الموقع المذكور.
بيتكلم عن الـ neuroplasticity وفهم آلية الادمان.
أدركت من الكتاب ان صناعة البورن هي أكبر الممارسات المناهضة للمرأة والمسيئة في العالم المعاصر، صناعة البورن هي صناعة تروج للعنف والاستغلال الأداتي للمرأة. كون انها مقبولة ده بيخليها أكثر خطورة من الممارسات المتعارف عليها أو المتفق على انها مسئية زي الختان، البورن شئ مقبول جدا في العالم والغرب ولأن رفضه واستهجانه ارتبط بالدين، فاستخدامه والترويج ليه ظهر كرد فعل باعتباره حرية جنسية. لكن الحقيقة ان الغرب بيتكشف النهاردة ان حتى من منطلق الحرية الجنسية فصناعة البورن صناعة مضرة بالحياة الجنسية، ومضرة نفسيا، وبتخلق أذواق جنسية غريبة وبتحولها للطبيعي. لذلك وجب من منطلق حقوق الانسان وحقوق المرأة التعامل معاها كتعامل مع أي مادة بتروج للعبودية أو الكراهية ومنعها من هذا المنطلق.
البعض بيقول ان من احترام الحرية احترام حرية الأشخاص المشاركين في مثل المواد دي في اختيار ان ده يبقى شغلهم، ولدول بنقول لو في ميديا بتصور ناس بتعور نفسها أو بتمثل افلام فيها عنف ضد الحيوانات أو الأطفال أو بتروج للعصبية الدينية أو العرقية هل يمكن السماح بيها من نفس المنطلق؟
أنا شايف ان ظاهرة انتشار الطلب على الأفلام الاباحية هي في جوهرها حاجة للحميمية، في العلاقات عموما، التكنولوجيا الحديثة وعصر الشاشات ساعدت اننا ننعزل، ومن نفسيرات الادمان انه في جوهره حاجة للتواصل بيعوضها الانسان باللذة المصطنعة للمادة الادمانية، عشان كدا بداية التعامل مع الادمانات بأنواعها هو باعادة العلاقات الحقيقية لحياتنا، والتواصل الحقيقي، والحميمية الحقيقية، ده ح يكون تعامل مع الطلب، بدل ما يكون التعامل مع العرض بالمنع.
مرتبط جدا بهذا الكتاب، كتاب Willpower for Dummies
الكتاب ح يشتغل مع الكتاب ده، لأنه بيتكلم عن نفس الموضوع، بس من زاوية أخرى، والاتنين مكملين لبعض.
المستهلك الأكبر للمواد الاباحية هو الأطفال من أعمار 12 لـ 17 عام بحسب الاحصائية المذكورة في الكتاب.
HYPOFRONTALITY: Compulsiveness.
بداية أي علاج لسلوك هو العلاج المعرفي، المعرفة هي اللي بتقطع الوهم، بداية التخلص من أي عادة هي فهمها، فهم أضرارها، لأن العقل هو الوسيلة اللي الانسان بيقيم بيها.
العادة السرية والأفلام الاباحية بتربط الجنس بمشاعر العار، مما يمنع القدرة على التعامل مع الجنس بشكل سوي.
88% من مشاهد الأفلام الاباحية تحتوي على عنف، مما يروج للعنف الجنسي ويؤصل له على أنه شئ مقبول وسوي.
49% من الأفلام الاباحية تحتوي على عنف لفظي.
The Chemistry of Addiction: الفيديو ده مهم جدا وبيشرح كيمياء الادمان:
https://youtu.be/ukFjH9odsXw
Addiction: https://youtu.be/ao8L-0nSYzg
The Addicted Brain l Science of Addiction: https://youtu.be/1G93lz-JK-E
The Science of Addiction: https://youtu.be/VI4KZWtROt0
Neuroplasticity: https://youtu.be/ELpfYCZa87g
Your Brain is Plastic: https://youtu.be/5KLPxDtMqe8
Mindfulness, Neuroplasticity: https://youtu.be/7TN23YiGkAQ
الأفلام الاباحية والعادة السرية في حقيقة الأمر لا تقومان بالاشباع وانما تؤديان الى مزيد من الاستثارة، حيث أن الاشباع الجنسي لا يتحقق من خلال الأورجازم وحده وانما يحتاج الى تواصل بشري حقيقي.
"The pornified brain sounds a lot like Mick Jagger; it can’t get no satisfaction.
On the surface it sounds absurd. Pornography offers endless opportunities for arousal. If a
human masturbates to a wider range of images or videos, shouldn’t that satiate? The simple
answer is no.
Dr. Doidge explains that porn is more exciting than satisfying because we have two separate
pleasure systems in our brains: one for exciting pleasure and another for satisfying pleasure.
The exciting system, fueled by dopamine and anticipation, is all about appetite, such as
imagining your favorite meal or a sexual episode.1
The satisfying system involves actually having the meal or having sex, which provides a
calming, fulfilling pleasure. This system releases opiate-like endorphins that provide feelings of
peace and euphoria.
Pornography, Doidge writes, hyperactivates the appetite system.2 But the satisfying system
is left starving for the real thing, which includes actual touching, kissing, caressing, and a
connection not only with the body but also the mind and soul. The satisfying system releases
oxytocin and endorphins, and bellows, in the words of Marvin Gaye, “Ain’t nothing like the real
thing, Baby.”
The porn-saturated brain is fixated on sex, Struthers explains,3 but real sex is intended for
intimacy. The pornified brain is ready for multiple partners, images, and sexual possibilities,
but it is intended for a narrow focus of exclusive sharing. Porn’s neurological superhighway
is built for speed, but satisfying sex is designed for the slow and evolving discovery and
appreciation of a loving partner. Porn provides few off-ramps (masturbation) that offer fleeting
escapes that hasten the need for more. Meanwhile a committed couple can have long and
satisfying encounters with many off ramps for creative expressions of intimacy that are not
genitally oriented."
"Pornographers promise healthy pleasure and relief from sexual tension, but what they often deliver is an addiction, tolerance, and an eventual decrease in pleasure. Paradoxically, the male patients I worked with often craved pornography but didn’t like it."
"Porn encourages selfishness rather than an exchange of intimacy. Especially among men, who
are more visually stimulated than women, porn teaches that women are objects for their lust.
Women are just body parts, used for personal gratification."
"Pornography trains men to be consumers,5 to treat sex as a commodity, to think about sex as something on-tap and made-to-order. As Dr. Mary Anne Layden writes, “It is toxic miseducation about sex and relationships.”6 "
"In Dr. Gary Brooks’ book, The Centerfold Syndrome, he explains that because the women in porn are only glossy magazine pictures or pixels on the screen, they have no sexual or relational expectations of their own. This trains men to desire the cheap thrill of fantasy over a committed relationship that requires them to connect to another human being. Pornography essentially trains men to be digital voyeurs:
looking at women rather than seeking
genuine intimacy.7"
"According to a study published in the Journal
of Applied Social Psychology, after only a few
prolonged exposures to pornographic videos,
men and women alike reported less sexual
satisfaction with their intimate partners,
including their partners’ affection, physical
appearance, and sexual performance.8"
"Another study that appeared in the Journal
of Sex and Marital Therapy found similar
results. When men and women were
exposed to pictures of female centerfold
models from Playboy and Penthouse, this
significantly lowered their judgments about
the attractiveness of “average” people.9 "
"For instance, male porn users often believe more partners will bring greater satisfaction. But a
2011 study of long-term committed relationships (with a median duration of 25 years) showed
the opposite. The study showed that the longer a man was in a relationship, the more likely he
enjoyed relational happiness and sexual satisfaction. Women, in turn, enjoyed sex less during
the early years of their relationships and experienced greater satisfaction later.18 "
The Science of Internet Addiction & Brainpower: https://youtu.be/8UsI9CXHm6o
** أنصح بقراءة كتابي "أوسم وصفي" الآتيين
1 - الروحانية والتعافي: دور الروحانية الحقيقية في الشفاء والنضوج
2 - صحة العلاقات
"“Couples often are making that classic mistake of all addicts: that sex is equal to love or sex is
equal to intimacy,” Dr. Laaser says. “During the 90 days, we’re trying to teach the couple to
have intimacy in spiritual and emotional ways first and then eventually sexuality becomes an
expression of that intimacy.”9
What does intimacy look like? There is no formula for intimacy; it’s unique to each couple but
it has a lot to do with giving and sharing. Consider reading, praying, cooking, and taking walks
together. Many couples have forgotten how to play and have fun together. Couples need to
explore non-sexual means to express intimacy, and after the 90-day break, they will find this
discovered intimacy will make their sex life even stronger and more fulfilling, Laaser says."
*** جملة عجبتني جدا :
"" When Cortez decided to invade the world of the Aztecs in 1519, he burned his ships so there was no easy way to back out. ""
People committed to battling porn must set their “porn escape routes” ablaze.
* Whether the porn stash is in plain view or hidden in the garage, it all has to go up in flames. I
recall a friend who invited his 12-step program sponsor to his home where they built a bonfire
and roasted his porn videos. There were no marshmallows, he said, but watching the videos
burn brought warmth to his soul and strengthened his resolve for genuine recovery. Today, he
is porn free and leads a Celebrate Recovery10 group in Michigan.
* You may recall from chapter 3 that Dr. Cooper described a Triple-A Engine that draws people
into online sexual activity: accessibility, affordability, and anonymity.
These three factors work like three legs on a stool: remove just one of the legs and the stool will
fall (or at least make it awkward to sit on).
The leg easiest to break is anonymity.
Many therapists agree that Internet accountability software is one of the most effective ways for
a person to protect themselves or their loved one online. Accountability software monitors how
the Internet is used and delivers a report to trusted friend, spouse, or mentor. It encourages
a person to think before they click and avoid temptations, which builds up the willpower and
decision making of the brain’s prefrontal cortex. It also allows mentors to provide guidance
and arms them with accurate information for in depth conversations with the person who is
struggling.
In 2011, a university study showed that using Covenant Eyes Internet Accountability with a
motivating friend as an accountability partner has a major impact on abstinence from porn.
John Y. Lee, a doctoral student of clinical psychology at Fuller Theological Seminary tested
a technique called Motivational Interviewing (MI), which provides knowledge about how
porn negatively impacts people with conversations that encourage and reinforce the person’s
confidence that he or she can avoid pornography. People who received both MI and Covenant
Eyes reported a 66% decrease in relapse episodes in the four weeks after receiving the
interventions, compared with a control group.11
* “All natural predators look for the animal that has strayed from the herd. Be honest and get
accountable so your brain doesn’t get the best of you. Honesty can be as simple as having
Covenant Eyes Accountability software on your phone and computer. When your wife, pastor,
or accountability partner gets the report on your Internet travels, this is a form of honesty that
can protect and help you lead and maintain a clean life.”12
_________________________________________________________
*** New Habits, New Pathways, and Dopamine Rewards : (IMPORTANT)
As stated before, simply avoiding porn isn’t the only answer. New positive activities are needed.
Keep in mind the neurological concept of “use it or lose it.” Avoid an activity and its desire will
wane, pursue an activity and it will become more engrained.
New and positive habits need to be introduced, and they need to be rewarding and
entertaining.
Yes, entertaining!
“It’s not an uncommon cross addiction for the average addict to be a workaholic also,” Dr.
Laaser says. “So finding ways to recreate, relax, quiet time, those kinds of things are some of
the new healthy habits.13
“Having a hobby is one of the ways we could reward ourselves,” Dr. Laaser says. “I was talking
to a guy today who said, ‘I’ve always had carpentry skills, but I’ve never taken time to build
anything.’ Well, have a goal that one of your healthy habits is to do some woodworking at least
a few times a week.”
Exercise is another beneficial habit, and it feeds the body dopamine and endorphins. Starting
an exercise routine may feel rough at first if it has been a while, so dial the routine up slowly.
Soon the exercise will make a major difference in physical as well as mental wellbeing.
“This approach (of introducing positive habits) makes plastic sense because it grows a new
brain circuit that gives pleasure and triggers dopamine release which, as we have seen, rewards the new activity and consolidates and grows new neuronal connections,” Dr. Doidge writes: “This new circuit can eventually compete with the older one, and according to use it or lose it, the pathological networks will weaken. With this treatment we don’t so much ‘break’ bad habits as replace bad behaviors with better ones.”14
Whatever rewarding activity is pursued, it needs to be an activity that is reoccurring. Building
new rewarding neural pathways requires time and ongoing repetition. Doidge repeats the
neurological mantras:
1. Neurons that fire together wire together. Repeating a pleasurable activity instead
of the compulsive activity, such as porn use, forms a new circuit that is gradually
reinforced instead of the compulsion.
2. Neurons that fire apart wire apart. When a person refuses to act on a compulsion,
like porn and masturbation, it weakens the link between the activity and the idea
that it will provide relief.
Doidge teaches that delinking is crucial because while acting on a compulsion eases anxiety in
the short term, it worsens it in the long term.15
Finally, choose positive habits wisely. Rewarding activities that could trigger acting out should
be avoided. For instance alcohol, provocative movies, and public beaches (where sexual
temptations can flare) may need to be avoided, especially during this 90-day recovery period.
A person usually knows what activities can lead to temptation, and they must be avoided as rewards until the person’s decision-making routine is powered up.
______________________________________________________
*** Three-Second Rule: (IMPORTANT):
When watching TV, walking through the mall, or driving past billboards, temptation can strike
when least expected. Many therapists recommend using the 3-Second Rule, which involves
three steps: Alert, Avert, and Affirm.
1. Alert: Realize that you see something inappropriate. It may only take a split-second
to recognize a tempting situation.
2. Avert: Close your eyes or look away. These first two steps should be instantaneous.
3. Affirm: Give yourself a mental high-five to congratulate the effort. Say to yourself,
“I saw that by mistake, and I quickly looked away. I’ve been clean for (enter number
of days) and I’m going to stay that way.”
* “For as he thinks, so is he.” Proverbs 23:7
This verse from the ancient writings of Solomon is backed by neurology. Allowing the mind
to replay pornographic memories and fantasizing about pornography and sex can keep those
neural pathways flowing. From the concept of “use it or lose it,” fantasizing about porn and sex
equates to “using it,” or practicing the very thing you are hoping to avoid.
How a person expends mental energy has a direct impact on their neural pathways. Literally,
mental practice can equate to physical practice.
For example, Dr. Alvaro Pascual-Leone, chief of the Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center,
which is part of Harvard Medical School, conducted an experiment in which he taught two
groups of people to play a musical piece on a piano. None of the subjects had studied the piano
and they were shown which fingers to use and heard how the notes should be played.16
The first group sat in front of a keyboard for two hours for five days and imagined both playing
the sequence and hearing it. The second group spent the same amount of time physically
playing the piece. After the five days, each group was asked to play the musical sequence and a
computer was used to measure the accuracy of their performances.
The results: the group that had only imagined playing the piano played the musical notes on
the fifth day as well as the actual players had on their third day. If given just two additional
hours of actual practice, the imagining group performed to the same level as the group that
spent all of their time physically practicing.
Inappropriate thoughts can be combatted with positive thoughts, such as thinking of a new
hobby, playing music, repeating an inspiring quote, or some other positive activity. Mental and
physical escape routes should be prepared in advance to ward off sexual thinking. Of course,
each time temptation is resisted the person’s decision-making power grows stronger.
Although ineffective and addictive, pornography and masturbation are used as a salve for
pain, anxiety, depression, self-doubt, anger and other unhealthy feelings. These emotions and
misgivings are often deeply rooted, stemming from childhood, teen, and even adult trauma,
abuse, or wounds. All families have healthy and unhealthy qualities, and even mistakes “create
wounds in the human spirit,” Dr Laaser teaches.18
Blaming others and avoiding responsibility for porn use or sex addiction will not help someone
get well, Laaser writes, but the person should acknowledge the wounds they suffered and
accept that they did not deserve them. Rather than burying painful memories, which may
include physical, mental, and sexual abuse, these memories need to be brought to the surface
where they can be discussed and reviewed with a good friend or a counselor.
Paths to overcoming wounds of the past can’t be covered within a few paragraphs here. But
self-discovery, study, and counseling to overcome scars are a vital part of the recovery process.
The road to recovery is a heavyweight bout. A boxer keeps his gloves up to protect his face,
his elbows down to protect his ribs, and his eyes focused on his opponent’s every move. In
recovery, lowering one’s guard is like begging for a sucker punch. Stop being vigilant and the
addictive habits can ease back into life and again claim control.
Twenty years ago, Dr. Robert Brooks found that many of his patients were swimming in an
ocean of feelings of inadequacy. So he encouraged his patients to swim to what he calls “islands
of competence,” areas of their lives that are sources of pride and accomplishment. Encouraging
patients to focus on strengths rather than weaknesses and on optimism instead of pessimism
had a ripple effect that helped them confront situations and issues in their lives that were problematic. Expanding these islands allowed new islands of competence to emerge and feelings of inadequacy for individual situations grew shallow.22
These feelings of competence can also lead to healthy interests. For instance, a man who has
skills in carpentry can apply them to help needy or disabled families in his community. And
giving time to others can further improve feelings of accomplishment.
-- I loved the book, and think I'll be back to reading it again.
June 18, 2019
كتاب مختصر مهم لكل شاب أو لمن يحتك بالفئات العمرية الصغيرة لتوعيتهم ببعض اﻷبعاد الأوسع في التعامل مع اﻹباحية من منظور علمي تجريبي.
الترجمة جيدة جدًا، وزادها حُسنًا كون المترجم الدكتور محمد السيد عبد الجواد هو المشرف على موقع (واعي)*، وله خلفية ثرية في هذا الموضوع، مع احتكاك مباشر بالشباب، وفعاليات ومبادرات رائدة في الوطن العربي.
*رابط الموقع
https://www.antiporngroup.com/
الترجمة جيدة جدًا، وزادها حُسنًا كون المترجم الدكتور محمد السيد عبد الجواد هو المشرف على موقع (واعي)*، وله خلفية ثرية في هذا الموضوع، مع احتكاك مباشر بالشباب، وفعاليات ومبادرات رائدة في الوطن العربي.
*رابط الموقع
https://www.antiporngroup.com/
March 24, 2017
الكتاب للدكتور سام بلاك ترجمة الدكتور محمد عبدالجواد وهو كتاب علمى يناقش تأثير الإباحية على الدماغ وكيفية التخلص منها
أنصح به وبشده للمربين لأن أسلوب الكتاب علمى نوعاً ما ولكن الشباب لن يروق لهم هذا الكتاب
ولكن عليهم بكتب الدكتور محمد عبدالجواد صاحب موقع معالجة إدمان الإباحية
أنصح به وبشده للمربين لأن أسلوب الكتاب علمى نوعاً ما ولكن الشباب لن يروق لهم هذا الكتاب
ولكن عليهم بكتب الدكتور محمد عبدالجواد صاحب موقع معالجة إدمان الإباحية
March 9, 2020
This short book packs a punch, it talks about the science behind a porn addiction. And finishes with a daunting but important challenge. Would definitely recommend for any other individual trying to clean up their internet usage!
November 23, 2020
Good article about how to be aware of your own instincts and try to manage your desires...
August 29, 2014
Scientists are continually discovering new and exciting information on how our brains change through repetitive behaviors, and how these changes can contribute to addictions. The Porn Circuit goes into great detail to explain these changes without becoming overwhelming. The book clearly and easily describes how certain chemicals and hormones interact in ways that encourage certain behaviors, and how repeating these behaviors creates “paths of least resistance” that we are more likely to follow.
Read the full review here.
Read the full review here.
July 22, 2016
A good summary of both reasons and techniques to get free. This short book recommends positive changes and realistic techniques on a realistic timetable. It does not recommend exchanging one sin for another, as I've seen in some "guides".
Also, despite being published by Covenant Eyes, it is not an extended ad for their services; the book mentions them twice.
This is a good kick-start into other materials that will go more in-depth into each part of the recovery strategy.
Also, despite being published by Covenant Eyes, it is not an extended ad for their services; the book mentions them twice.
This is a good kick-start into other materials that will go more in-depth into each part of the recovery strategy.
May 30, 2017
good for knowledge about pornography, new science lead us to realize the awful of pornography , civil world see the women as a slaves for lust
March 30, 2017
As a counselor, I'm constantly on the look out for psychology/self-help books that I feel comfortable recommending to clients. This is one of those.
It's short, to the point, got good neurology, and even solid recommendations on how to break the cycle. Plus Black is an engaging writer and stays far away from the jargon. Not only is it readable, it's -- dare I say -- enjoyable.
It's short, to the point, got good neurology, and even solid recommendations on how to break the cycle. Plus Black is an engaging writer and stays far away from the jargon. Not only is it readable, it's -- dare I say -- enjoyable.
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