Imaginary Companions and the Children Who Create Them

by Marjorie Taylor

Many parents delight in their child's imaginary companion as evidence of a lively imagination and creative mind. At the same time, parents sometimes wonder if the imaginary companion might be a sign that something is wrong. Does having a pretend friend mean that the child is in emotional distress? That he or she has difficulty communicating with other children? In this fascinating book, Marjorie Taylor provides an informed look at current thinking about pretend friends, dispelling many myths about them.
In the past a child with an imaginary companion might have been considered peculiar, shy, or even troubled, but according to Taylor the reality is much more positive--and interesting. Not only are imaginary companions surprisingly common, the children who have them tend to be less shy than other children. They also are better able to focus their attention and to see things from another person's perspective. In addition to describing imaginary companions and the reasons children create them, Taylor discusses other aspects of children's fantasy lives, such as their belief in Santa, their dreams, and their uncertainty about the reality of TV characters. Adults who remember their own childhood pretend friends will be interested in the chapter on the relationship between imaginary companions in childhood and adult forms of fantasy. Taylor also addresses practical concerns, providing many useful suggestions for parents. For example, she describes how children often express their own
feelings by attributing them to their imaginary companion.
If you have a child who creates imaginary creatures, or if you work with pre-schoolers, you will find this book very helpful in understanding the roles that imaginary companions play in children's emotional lives.

Genres: Psychology, Parenting, Science, Childrens, Nonfiction

228 pages, Paperback

First published December 31, 1998

About the author

Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

Professor emeritus of psychology, from University of Oregon.

Marjorie Taylor's research has focused on the development of imagination and creativity, including studies of young children who invent pretend friends, older children who create imaginary worlds and adult fiction writers who develop relationships with the characters in their novels.

Reviews

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I started reading this book, I did a quick poll of my friends to see who else had imaginary friends when they were kids. I was actually really surprised to find out that very few of them did! Fantasy was such a big part of my childhood, and even now I will daydream myself into my favorite books and movies from time to time. Finding that I was the odd one out made me even more curious about the research presented in this book.
Starting with the negative... The writing got a little repetitive at points, as the author would go back and reiterate points already made. In a relatively short book, it seemed like a little much.
My reaction to this book was mostly positive, however. I work in research so it was really cool to read about the studies that have been done on this topic, so different from the realm in which I work! I also thought that overall the author did a good job presenting her work. The chapters built on one another and covered some points that I would have never thought to cover.

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

A well-researched book on children's fantasy lives, particulary imaginary companions. Taylor tackles common questions like if the behavior is normal, what characteristics these children have, and if they can differentiate fantasy from reality. There were several case studies of children's imaginary companions, which was really amusing to read about. I also particularly liked one of the final chapters comparing children's interactions with their imaginary friends to the perception fiction writers sometimes have of their characters surprising them and controlling their own actions to what children.

[Stephen Palmer · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fascinating book, read as research for my upcoming work 'Monique Orphan,' but well worth it in its own right. Marjorie Taylor, a psychologist by training, looks at the phenomenon of imaginary companions from a broad perspective, and right from the beginning she picks away at the cultural idea that a child with an imaginary companion must necessarily be a loner, alone, or have some underlying mental condition. She is blunt about the world of media - film especially - getting the phenomenon of imaginary companions wrong. In fact, as her thorough research shows, children with imaginary companions are slightly better at navigating the social world than those without. Imaginary companions are common, a sign of a normal and active, albeit relatively unformed imagination. There are many reasons why children create imaginary companions, all dealt with in depth here. An interesting digression is the gender difference between girls (who tend to create independent companions) and boys (who tend to impersonate their own creations). Subsequent chapters deal with the phenomenon in older children and in adults, with a particularly revealing section on the nature of adult creation - eg. that of the author.

Properly researched and referenced, this is a terrific book, both academic and thorough, but also easy to read for the non-academic reader, who might be interested in memories of their own childhood or who can see their own children creating imaginary companions.

[Chris · Rating 3 out of 5]

Review of the scientific literature of imaginary companions of children and adults and more in general about their fantasy lives. Unfortunately this field has its own research problems and the subject has not been researched very thoroughly yet, specially not concerning older children and adults.

[Dana · Rating 4 out of 5]

What I loved most about this book was the fact that it pointed out that a child having an imaginary friend is not a negative thing. In fact, it went to lengths to support the idea that some children just create. Nothing is wrong with them. Nothing is extremely special about them. They just create because they can. Marjorie Taylor pointed out the one thing that I think we often forget; let children be children.

The studies conducted and the various results are all interesting reads. I also really liked the last few chapters that dealt with the idea of adults having what is considered an imaginary companion. I found the journals of famous authors to be particularly interesting.

This is a must read if you are entering into a field where you are dealing with children on a regular basis, or you are a parent. Most people don't seem to know how to respond if their child has an imaginary friend (which we learn in disgusting detail here. And by disgusting, I mean that some people really concern me) and this book offers reassurance and simple suggestions that not only enrich the child's imagination, but make the adult feel like they are not crazy. That, after all, seems to be where the negativity comes from in these situations. The adults feeling it reflects poorly on them, or that they did something wrong in raising their child.

I highly recommend this book. You might learn something but at the very least, the stories from the children that were interviewed are entertaining enough.

For more reading on this book, visit my blog here http://papertales4u.blogspot.com/2013...

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great intro to the subject. The author provides a nice balance between theory and examples as well as giving consideration to alternative interpretations of the imaginary friend phenomenon. I was interested to see that a lot of things that I would not have considered imaginary companions were included in the discussion, in particular imaginary companions with "props." The last means that the incredibly well-developed personalities of my daughter's two teddy bears are imaginary companions. The great weakness from the book from my perspective is the author's use of literature. She does not seem as familiar with the books she mentions as one would hope. For example, she mentions the Anne of Green Gables books several times, but only to comment on how real the title character seems to her, but Anne herself has an active imagination and describes several imaginary companions from her life before Green Gables in great detail (and in a way that fits well with the author's description of the nature and function of imaginary companions of real children). She also references the Cat in the Hat as a fun and escapist fantasy, but actually the original Cat in the Hat is a quite bothersome and even scary creature (who is constantly breaking rules, making a mess, and ignoring calls to behave himself); perhaps she is more familiar with the PBS series based on the Cat character (in which he is more of a protector and guide than menace).

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had the pleasure of not only reading this book, but taking Marjorie Taylor's class on Imagination at the University of Oregon. Her knowledge in this area is unparalleled and clearly driven by passionate curiosity. This book is delicately written so as to be accessible to scholars and the average parent alike. With every scientific scenario comes an array of interesting and thought-provoking examples that, when taken together, present a truly comprehensive view of the American child psyche. As a fan of imagination, this book was extremely enjoyable.

[Ami · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting assessment of the possible functions imaginary companions serve, children's ability to distinguish between fantasy and reality, the characteristics of children who have imaginary companions, and the characteristics of imaginary companions themselves.

[Jenn]

Fascinating! I will definitely use some of this in developmental lectures this fall!

[Mrs. Frankenstein · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found a lot of comfort in this book. it helped me understand my son and his is imaginary companions.

[Ron · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perfect. An academic book but one that reads well. Very complete. Even mentions Frida Kahlo's imaginary friend.