Accidental Soldier: A Memoir of Service and Sacrifice in the Israel Defense Forces

by Dorit Sasson

At age nineteen, Dorit Sasson, a dual American-Israeli citizen, was trying to make the status quo work as a college student—until she realized that if she didn’t distance herself from her neurotic, worrywart of a mother, she would become just like her. Accidental Soldier: A Memoir of Service and Sacrifice in the Israel Defense Forces is Sasson’s story of how she dropped out of college and volunteered for the Israel Defense Forces in an effort to change her life—and how, in stepping out of her comfort zone and into a war zone, she discovered courage and faith she didn’t know she was capable of.

Genres: Nonfiction, Israel

340 pages, Paperback

First published June 14, 2016

Reviews

[Liralen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sasson was at a crossroads: unhappy at home, unhappy in college, her mother's chronic fear leaking over into Sasson's life. She could stay or she could go, so she went—to Israel, where she joined the Israeli Defense Forces.

What do I do with this book? It took me an age to find (I eventually got it through ILL) and then it puzzled me and frustrated me, and at first I couldn't figure out why. And then I got it: it's in the reflection...or the lack thereof.

Sasson stays tightly in what one of my professors would call the 'I now': she tells the story as she experienced, with little by way of hindsight or analysis to tell the reader how she feels about those experiences years later or to give more context. Sometimes I love this kind of writing (and I struggle to bring enough reflection into my own writing), but I so badly wanted more reflection here, because as it was I couldn't connect with Sasson.

It's this:

By the end of the first week, I'm overwhelmed, which turns into restlessness for me. I speak with the commanding officer to see if I can switch to a "sewing course" (I'm not really into sewing, but at least I won't be responsible for applying any sewing knowledge back on Shitim), but she refuses, saying it's too late. (194)

By the second week of class, I'm not taking any of the learning material very seriously. I figure that since I don't understand most of it anyway, there's not much point. Part of me wants to just give up. (197)

After the first four kilometers, Svetlana takes her turn on the stretcher. She giggles and laughs while looking at me.
"Oy, oy!" she shouts as the stretcher begins to bounce slightly.
"This isn't funny, Svetlana," I tell her, annoyed. (248)

Two days later, Eina and Svetlana make an appointment to speak with Yaron to request once again that they be sent to work on a kibbutz. He does not give in to their request.
I don't know why they're so eager to leave; I enjoy life in the platoon. I have no complaints about my job. When Aviv recommends me for a human resources course, I politely decline because I don't want to leave even for a short time. (271)

Sasson describes herself, not in so many words, as a quitter and a whiner and a hypocrite. Every time something isn't working out the way she expected, she cries and begs to be moved to a different group or a different assignment. If she's enjoying an assignment, though, and somebody else doesn't like it, she can't understand why. She set herself up as the 'class clown' of sorts, collapsing in hysterical laughter at the slightest provocation, but gets annoyed when somebody else doesn't take things seriously.

All of that is okay in memoir. I don't need to like a character to be interested in their story or to have respect for the way the author portrays themselves. But I needed more from writer-Sasson to understand character-Sasson. Did she see this pattern of getting overwhelmed and quitting? Did she understand that she was both using humour (as a crutch?) and blaming others for doing the same? She describes an inaccessible 'cool girl' with whom she wanted to be friends but whom she couldn't really reach, and I got the impression that the 'cool girl' might have been more open to someone else's overtures...but I have no idea if Sasson would have agreed with that assessment or if it's even remotely accurate.

One thing to note is that there's very little by way of politics here—she talks a little about being a Zionist, and it reads to me as a pretty young, naïve grasp of politics, the sort of fervent belief that has never really been probed. At a guess, she or the editors might have gauged that it would be a more accessible book if it stayed largely out of the politics of region's politics, but it left me with an uncomfortable we-Zionists-they-terrorists sense of her understanding of it all. (Again, I'm not commenting on the author or her present-day views, just on the way she portrays her younger self.)

So...kind of a mixed bag? Do with that what you will. I'm really glad I got my hands on it and am intrigued by the stuff She Writes Press is putting out, but I'd have loved an extra layer or two of depth here.

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a interesting look at what it's like to join the IDF, especially as an immigrant. Prior to reading this, I knew of the IDF but didn't know what it entailed. Now of course it's different than when Sasson was enlisted. Her writing not only brings the IDF experience alive, but the culture and country of Israel as well. I was glad she added an epilogue, and look forward to reading her next installment.

At our book discussion, which Sasson attended, it was fascinating to learn more about Israel's wolf pack mentality and how Sasson had to leave the country to find her voice and write about it all.

3.5 stars

[Carol · Rating 1 out of 5]

The title grabbed me. I had to find out what this was about. I was looking for an interesting story regarding how one accidentally becomes a soldier. This was not that book. This is the self published story about a woman who wanted to escape her life. She consciously decided to become a soldier, she weighed the odds/prospects, etc.
That still could have made this an interesting book if the grammar and editing had been allowed to do their jobs. This could have been interesting and entertaining without the whiney voice. This was a first draft.

[Kathleen Pooler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Accidental Soldier is an engaging, multilayered story of a young woman who finds her voice and her inner strength by challenging herself to step outside her comfort zone and volunteer for the Israel Defense Services. In searching for independence from a controlling, worry-wart mother, she taps into a universal theme of the complexities of mother–daughter relationships.

With raw honesty and vivid prose, Sasson brought me so close to her experience I could taste the ethnic food, see the beautiful landscape, and feel the pain of her struggles and the triumph of her growth and transformation. Her characters came alive on the page and her authentic, heartfelt reflections added a deeper dimension to her story. Too much self-disparaging behavior would have been a downer but she balanced it with a fierce determination and perseverance I admire.

The scenic descriptions of Israel are exquisite and the details of the Israeli culture, rich and enlightening. I love a story that not only inspires but also informs me of a world I would not otherwise know. The writing is crisp and flows freely.

Sasson delivers a well-crafted, engaging memoir with a clear theme, a hero’s journey that left me feeling enlightened and inspired. I highly recommend this memoir for anyone who wants to be invited into another culture and into the mind and heart of a young woman trying to find her way on the world.

[Hasadda · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Accidental Soldier" is a page turning documentary of a young woman breaking through two worlds on a trek to establish her own. With a neurotically caring American mother and a remarried slightly distant, Israeli father, Dorit writes about the home court advantage of being a Lone Soldier in Israel (with an Israeli father, Dorit speaks and understands Hebrew).
Each chapter brings her closer to being on her own path of independence, experiencing first love, long friendships, and conflicts during her years in the IDF - Israeli Defense Forces. She writes also about her subsequent attendance of college, finding a spouse and reestablishing her relationships with her parents.

I was spellbound by constant action and movement throughout the book, the growth into womanhood that Dorit developed into. Every part of this book was excellent - my only criticism would be one mention of "occupied territories," a phrase we would interpret as land not belonging to us, which might have been an oversight, not commonly used by Israelis.
A worthy must for reading and understanding the inside workings of the women's forces of IDF.
I've met the author and commend her and her family for sharing their lives with us.

[Barbara Stark-Nemon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Accidental Soldier traces Sasson's journey as an overprotected, but under-nurtured 19 year old girl from New York City, to soldier, kibbutz volunteer, and eventually English teacher in Israel. That story would be interesting enough, given Sasson's American birth to a talented but troubled Spanish-born mother and Israeli father, but a second narrative arc emerges in tandem which describes Sasson's interior struggle to separate from the controlling influence of her mother, and grow to recognize her own strength and capacity for independence. Along the way, the reader meets other IDF recruits, both foreign and Israeli. We're given a fascinating insider view of the unique role the military plays in everyday life in Israel, and the close interrelationship between the IDF and the many settlements and kibbutzes that make up so much of the fabric of Israeli society. Sasson's distinctive voice roots us in her very personal and revealing experience, and her willingness to expose her own weaknesses and fears as she faces both internal and outward hardships give this honest story a wonderful poignancy. Beyond sharing the engrossing tale of an American girl in the Israeli army, Accidental Soldier gives touching voice to Sasson's hard-won courage.

[Ash Kemp · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is not often that I have to set a book down and process what I've read because it hits me so deeply. This happened on more than one occassion while I read Accidental Soldier. Now, my own experiences have been nothing like Sassoon's, I'm basically a hermit who loves to read and enjoys learning new things with my daughter. However, her memoir is so introspective and powerful that you can't help but put yourself in her shoes and feel deeply entrenched in the narrative of her emotional journey. We long to belong, and often times think that means staying put and letting the knowledge find us. Sassoon didn't take this approach, rather, she sought out her path and earned the key to unlocking her true potential in so doing. Even more incredible, she's not only written this chronicle of her experience to share with the world, but she also provides motivational podcasts and a myriad of tools for authors who want to find their own courage and get their works in the hands of new readers. I can't emphasize enough how greatful I am to see such an emboldened work and admire the potential influence this book could have on generations to come.

[Cheryl Mclaughlin · Rating 5 out of 5]

a very unusual coming of age story - the author's experience in Israel, in the Israel Defense Forces and living on a kibbutz pulls you in in a way that you can feel the sand on your feet and the intense and unrelenting sun on your body. She describes her day to day life over a period of many years -- When i would open the book at the end of my day, i would feel as though she was visiting me with an update on her experiences of that day.
An enlightening and compelling read that affords the reader the opportunity to learn so much about the geography, the history and the cultural norms of Israel. I think this book would be a very good recommendation for a young woman of high school age - to help her examine choices and the consequences of them - and to inspire courage and strength.
Although Dorit did a good job of painting mental images of her uniform, her fellow soldiers, the kibbutz and the camps, I would have so loved to see photos in this book. There IS a map, which helps to the reader understand Dorit's movements between different areas of Israel.

[DW · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book wasn't boring or bad, per se, but it was disappointing that it didn't live up to its title "Accidental Soldier: A Memoir of Service and Sacrifice in the Israel Defense Forces."

Nearly 100 pages of this not-particularly-long book were dedicated to Sasson's life before she joined the IDF and her agonizing over what to do with herself. And then most of her actual time in the IDF was glossed over. One chapter about basic training? In a better author's hands, basic training could be an entire book. Also, even though this was supposed to be a memoir of Sasson's emotional journey, it felt superficial- she didn't dig deeply enough into what she was feeling and experiencing.

I also found a minor issue to be a major irritant: Her constant referring to New York as "New York City." I'm a New Yorker born and bred, and you don't call it New York "City" because nobody cares about New York State. Conversely, she mentions growing up in Westbeth, which I never heard of, but she didn't explain what it was.

I won a free copy from a Goodreads Giveaway.

[Jo Ivester · Rating 5 out of 5]

Have you ever dreamt of walking away from the life you live so that you could explore something totally different? Something that would challenge you from the first moment? That would take you places you've never been before. In this coming of age tale, Dorit Sasson does exactly that. Frustrated with her life as an American college student, feeling empty inside and craving relevance, the author of this about-to-be-released memoir emigrates to Israel and joins the Israel Defense Force, i.e., the military. Initially, Dorit finds herself frightened by just about everything, hesitant to interact with her fellow soldiers, tentative about the smallest decision. Through her military service, she finds herself. I won't tell you exactly what she finds, but know that as you watch Dorit grow, you'll perhaps grow a little yourself.

[Martha Graham-Waldon · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a lifelong pacifist, I must admit that I had some hesitation about reading a book concerning serving in the armed forces. Yet as I read Dorit Sasson’s memoir about her time serving in the Israeli Defense Forces, I soon realized that her story was much more than that. It is a story about courage and taking risks in one’s life and also about coming of age and finding yourself. As she struggles to fit in and succeed in an entirely different culture than she has known and grapples with establishing an identity independent of an overbearing mother, Dorit’s story is relatable and I found myself cheering for her as she overcomes each obstacle in her way. I thoroughly enjoyed this memoir and I would recommend it to anyone who has similarly struggled along the pathway to adulthood.

[Judi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Accidental Soldier is a quintessential coming of age story infused with an unusual cross-cultural flavor. Sasson bares her soul, describing the adventures of a brave, American-born young woman navigating volunteer service in the Israeli Defense Forces. She explores universal family and young adult themes, while painting a fascinating and vivid picture of Israeli landscape, culture, and society in the early 1990’s. Sasson is a remarkable woman with a one-of-a-kind, yet relatable, story to tell.

[Michaela]

This is a book that I won in the Goodreads giveaways in 2016. Unfortunately I never received my winning copy and so was unable to read the book which is too bad because I probably would have liked it.

[Linda Shapiro · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thanks to WOW (Women on WRITING) blog tours, I’m pleased to welcome author Dorit Sasson on her tour and to help promote her new memoir, “ACCIDENTAL SOLDIER: A Memoir of Service and Sacrifice in the Israel Defense Forces.” Published 2016, printed in the U.S.A., ISBN:978-1-63152-035-8

As described on the back cover of her book: “When nineteen-year-old Dorit Sasson realized that if she didn’t want to become just like her fearful mother, she had no choice but to distance herself from her, she volunteered for the Israel Defense Forces–and found her path to freedom.” This memoir is the first to share a female immigrant’s experience with serving in the IDF and is one woman’s account of her journey to become her own person.

While there are many ways that young people find to individuate and to move beyond various traumas they may have experienced, Dorit’s choice to distance herself geographically and to leave behind a war with her mother for a role in a real war in Israel, is both fascinating and enlightening.

Please join Dorit as she speaks with me about her understanding of “The Trauma of Leaving My Mother to Serve in the Israel Defense Forces.”

There’s one scene from my memoir ACCIDENTAL SOLDIER: A Memoir of Service and Sacrifice in the Israel Defense Forces that still gives me the chills every time I connect to that part of my story. It’s a critical and early part of the book that affects the rest of the plot. Without it, the memoir’s structure and story line would fall flat.

My father says that well-known line: “Dorit, if you stay in New York City, you’ll turn out to be exactly like your mother.”

Forty-five year old me knows that I had to leave my mother to become my own person despite the fact she and I had a very dysfunctional relationship.

Eighteen year old me is determined not to become like my mother.

I imagine what it must FEEL like to walk the streets of New York City feeling scared, paranoid just like Mom, who sends me newspaper clippings after anther detailing lung cancer, asbestos, and all kinds of cancers. But I’m only thirteen years old. But that doesn’t mean anything to my panic stricken mom. She still fires off article after article. Forty-five year old me knows that being the daughter of a Holocaust surviver, means she is frightened for things she cannot control even if she is a child prodigy and has played piano alongside the great Leonard Bernstein.

Yet no matter how I see the decision, the pressure to leave Mom and New York City against all odds, was traumatic. And leaving her filled me with guilt.

For most of my youth she has managed to control my thoughts and emotions. I tell family members and friends that if I get too close to the subway curb, someone might push me. Or I cannot eat such and such food because I might get cancer.

As part of my emotional efforts for this memoir, I constantly have to reconnect to the energies and emotions of this scene and what comes up for me as an adult is a great deal of compassion and concern for the eighteen year old who was put under so much pressure and duress to make a life changing decision.

This in itself can be traumatic.

I could have buckled from the emotions and pressure and just chose to stay put in New York City and deal with the consequences of becoming like my mother. But when I connect to that eighteen year old in Dad’s office, the voice in me said, “don’t be like your mother. You cannot afford to be like your mother. Do you want to walk around with a bunch of phobias, fears and insecurities that will linger with you for your entire life?”

Having my mother mirror to me her own fears made the decision easy. As Dad and I discussed the possibilities of joining the Israel Defense Forces, I saw a different future that included possibility and promise for an eighteen year old that I could become my own person. Mind you, Mom hated Israel, the Israel Defense Fores and wanted me to stay clear of serving in the IDF.

And while moving to Israel did, in fact, give me the opportunity to become my best person and thus allow my son and daughter to become independent people, I will always see that moment in Dad’s office as a game changer. Thankfully, I was level-headed enough not to get side-tracked by the trauma, but I would feel pangs of guilt for leaving her. All those years in Israel, I would soon learn that depression would catch up with her. She’d suffered from depression that led to a diagnosis of dementia. Eventually she died from complications of Alzheimer’s in 2013.

Till this day, I feel guilty that she was alone in that New York City loft apartment far away from her two children.

So you see, that decision of leaving my Mom gave me the opportunity to claim my own life but, unfortunately, it also left her alone, without her children.

[John P · Rating 1 out of 5]

Note: There are SPOILERS INCLUDED in this review.

Where to begin?

First, don't be deceived by the book's title. The author was a 'soldier' only in the technical sense - she was a member of the IDF for a short time. Focus more on the cover image to get a hint of what's inside.

This book is the record of a troubled girl who tries (and fails, as far as I can tell) to escape and / or deal with the emotional problems that she primarily blames on her mother. It is a document that, rather than submit to the public as a novel, would better be submitted to a health professional who has the tools to help the author mature.

After the first chapter or two I decided the book was not for me but forged ahead in the hopes that some turning point, epiphany, or breakthrough would lead to an uplifting ending. This did not happen. The author shows herself to be wholly unprepared for adult (let alone military) life - unprepared even for routine personal interactions. She repeatedly confronts her superiors when she finds she cannot handle her assignments or the people she has to work with and asks to be re-assigned. She is (to say the least!) emotionally needy and desperately seeks and needs someone she thinks is receptive to her constant doubt and second-guessing.

Her bipolar swings from positive outlook to panic and gloom follow each other rapidly and continue throughout the book. The chapters tend to end with her self-assessment being strong and capable only to plunge into near despair in the next paragraph or two when she misinterprets someone's glance or facial expression or body language. For this reader, the experience was tiring and depressing making me wonder why this material was considered for publication.

Most disappointing, for I was still at that point hoping for some redeeming factor to appear, was that the culmination of her training, the goal toward which her and the rest of her 'garin' and other troops had been working for months, was a complete failure. This final test consisted of a full-gear 18K march including stretchers to be used to transport marchers on a rotation basis to simulate having to carry wounded from the battlefield. She couldn't do it. She made it just over half way. They put her on one of the stretchers but no, she had to be transferred to a jeep where she had pain pills, water and juice while watching her fellow marchers complete the task. By the way, these are some of the same people about whom, in her various interactions before and after the march, she says some fairly unkind things. Alarmingly, she attended the completion ceremony and was given credit for completing the march! Thankfully, she will never be placed in a real battlefield situation where someone's life depends on her ability to march or transport wounded out of danger.

This reviewer hopes that the act of writing served the author in a beneficial and cathartic way and that she has found family and friends to help her resolve at least some of her angst and fear complex.

[Jane · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to Bookworms Anonymous and the author for this book which I won a while back.

A good non-fiction book. Dorit took her chances at a young age to go to Israel to become a soldier in the Israel Defense Forces. She had her doubts but wanted to get away from her mother who was "crippling" her life. Her father was Israeli born and encouraged her to go. Her aunt and uncle lived on a Kibbutz so she had family at least and eventually her father and step-mother were there too though she hardly got to see them because of her life.

Live on a Kibbutz and training as a soldier was not an easy life with being the only American and only a few females.

She really grew up over there and she was proud of herself for being so independent and finally speaking up. She was anxiety ridden and was always doubting herself and to me she finally became a woman.

I know I'm a broken record when it comes epilogue reviews but I really enjoyed hearing what happened after she left IDL after she "graduated" I guess you can say.

I hope to read her other book to to continue her life's story.

[Sharon Geyer · Rating 4 out of 5]

My niece sent me this memoir, and as I lived many years in Israel, she knew I would enjoy reading it. And I did enjoy the story of a young woman coming of age in basic training in the Israeli army. It could almost be considered a comedy in the way she kevetches and faints on nearly every page. But Dorit stuck it out and finished the course. All honor to Dorit and to her patient training officers who had to deal with young recruits from all parts of the world.

[Cody Mcdevitt · Rating 5 out of 5]

A story that describes a world that most Americans couldn’t fathom and won’t experience. And yet despite the exotic and adventurous nature of it includes inherently relatable motives—curiosity, a desire for independence and a break from the monotony or conventional American life. Highly recommend.

[Jeff Pavlick · Rating 3 out of 5]

The beautiful story of a woman's learned independence using the Israeli military as a vehicle to push her to face more challenges and persevere throughout life

I admired the nature of bonding with fellow humans, the real camaraderie that she always chased after

[J · Rating 5 out of 5]

Inspiring story. Exceptional memoir.

[Todd Haines · Rating 4 out of 5]

Different kind of Biography

A look into an American moving to Israel and joining the military. A little different than I expected to read about.

[Lynn Silverstein]

very good. woman lives in Chicago