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Ten Ways Not to Commit Suicide: A Memoir
In this surprising and moving memoir, the legendary rap star and cofounder of Run D.M.C. keeps it a hundred percent, speaking out about his battle with depression and overcoming suicidal thoughts—one of the most devastating yet little known health issues plaguing the black community today.
As one third of the legendary rap group Run D.M.C., Darryl “DMC” McDaniels—aka Legendary MC, The Devastating Mic Controller, and the King of Rock—had it all: talent, money, fame, prestige. While hitting #1 on the Billboard charts was exhilarating, the group’s success soon became overwhelming. A creative guy who enjoyed being at home alone or with his family, DMC turned to alcohol to numb himself, a retreat that became an addiction. For years, he went through the motions. But in 1997, when intoxication could no longer keep the pain at bay, he plunged into severe depression and became suicidal. But he wasn’t alone. During the same period, suicide became the number three leading cause of death among black people—a health crisis that continues to this day.
In this riveting memoir, DMC speaks openly about his emotional and psychological struggles and the impact on his life, and addresses the many reasons that led him—and thousands of others—to consider suicide. Some of the factors include not being true to who you are, feelings of loneliness, isolation, and alienation, and a lack of understanding and support from friends and family when it’s needed most. He also provides essential information on resources for getting help. Revealing how even the most successful people can suffer from depression, DMC offers inspiration for everyone in pain—information and insight that he hopes can help save other lives.
As one third of the legendary rap group Run D.M.C., Darryl “DMC” McDaniels—aka Legendary MC, The Devastating Mic Controller, and the King of Rock—had it all: talent, money, fame, prestige. While hitting #1 on the Billboard charts was exhilarating, the group’s success soon became overwhelming. A creative guy who enjoyed being at home alone or with his family, DMC turned to alcohol to numb himself, a retreat that became an addiction. For years, he went through the motions. But in 1997, when intoxication could no longer keep the pain at bay, he plunged into severe depression and became suicidal. But he wasn’t alone. During the same period, suicide became the number three leading cause of death among black people—a health crisis that continues to this day.
In this riveting memoir, DMC speaks openly about his emotional and psychological struggles and the impact on his life, and addresses the many reasons that led him—and thousands of others—to consider suicide. Some of the factors include not being true to who you are, feelings of loneliness, isolation, and alienation, and a lack of understanding and support from friends and family when it’s needed most. He also provides essential information on resources for getting help. Revealing how even the most successful people can suffer from depression, DMC offers inspiration for everyone in pain—information and insight that he hopes can help save other lives.
225 pages, Hardcover
First published October 1, 2009
35 people are currently reading
967 people want to read
About the author
Darryl McDaniels
10 books24 followersDarryl "D.M.C." Matthews McDaniels is a musician, rapper and producer. He is a founding member of the hip hop group Run–D.M.C and is known as a pioneer in the genre.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 58 reviews
June 6, 2017
Good but not great memoir by rap legend Darryl "DMC" McDaniels. I'm not a fan of Run-DMC or really any '80's rap, so I didn't know a whole lot about DMC. The title is what made me pick up the book and DMC really did spend about 20 years trying to commit suicide slowly. He tried to drink himself literally to death before making an actual suicide attempt. I myself have never suffered from depression (thank God) or thought of killing myself but I come from a family in which severe depression is common. I didn't give this book a higher rating because I thought the storytelling was a bit distant and unemotional, but if you want Run-DMC dirt DMC provides plenty( Rev Run & DMC hate each other) and you get a lot of inside info on the making of their greatest hits. I recommend this book to classic hip-hop lovers and lovers of celeb memoirs.
July 27, 2016
This is a very quick one sitting read. I think it is grossly mis-titled, because there is no lists of ten anything. The title leads you to believe that DMC will give those who are in a state of depression, 10 ways to fight that condition and turn things around. We get an intimate look at the battle that he has waged against depression and how therapy and some tapping the power within has helped him.
The book is more memoir than self help, and that's ok. As a fan of RUN-DMC, I was surprised to see this title from him, and suicide in the title piqued my interest which prompted me to read his story.
I think he does a decent job of giving the reader insight into what was troubling him, and his relationship with RUN will have fans looking backwards for clues of discordance. I was hoping for something that would be able to help young men or women deal with depression in their life, but in the area of help and resources the book comes up short. However, still intriguing and brave of DMC to share his story, even if it is just to say, as he ends the book, "You are not alone." 2.5 stars
The book is more memoir than self help, and that's ok. As a fan of RUN-DMC, I was surprised to see this title from him, and suicide in the title piqued my interest which prompted me to read his story.
I think he does a decent job of giving the reader insight into what was troubling him, and his relationship with RUN will have fans looking backwards for clues of discordance. I was hoping for something that would be able to help young men or women deal with depression in their life, but in the area of help and resources the book comes up short. However, still intriguing and brave of DMC to share his story, even if it is just to say, as he ends the book, "You are not alone." 2.5 stars
February 26, 2018
Now this is an honest man. He's come a looong way. These were the original rappers before the "elite" took over to turn it into gangsta rap as soon as certain artists began creating uplifting music for African-Americans. Personally, I believe the powers that be couldn't chance that and made a plan to wreck it for rap. I was born in 1980 so this music was exciting and new for us in New York especially since we got the mixed tapes from the City feeling like the "big Kids" aka teenagers.
We as 10/11/12 year olds sat and memorized Digital Underground Sons of the P and Good Vibrations,Pete Rock and c.L. Smooth reminisce and of course Nirvana Smells Like Teen Spirit and Brand Nubian, Arrested Development Nas, Onyx, Slick Rick. We got dressed up at 12 and went to a Queen Latifah , Black Sheep, and darn I can't recall who else was there. We loved Nas and ooooh two grrreat songs well three Run DMC and Aerosmith Walk This Way
"I was a liar." and "I spent most of my life hiding in the spotlight." These words should be a part of the first step of alcoholics anonymous -- or rather admitting that we are liars. Lying to ourselves and others within our alcoholism.
Mmm this is a real, honest recovered man. Many in AA say that we only have a daily reprieve from our alcoholism based on our daily spiritual condition.
"I drank and smoked daily to anesthetize my spirit." This was a huge statement.
Yes I have a LOT of respect for Mr. McDaniels. It's rare the raw honesty I'm learning here. We do have some similarities what with both having attended Catholic School, similar home life and of couse oth of us in recoery but it really stops at that but when I was young the 80's and early 90's musicians were our heros.
There are so many similarities eteen him and myself due to the struggle with alcoholism.
We as 10/11/12 year olds sat and memorized Digital Underground Sons of the P and Good Vibrations,Pete Rock and c.L. Smooth reminisce and of course Nirvana Smells Like Teen Spirit and Brand Nubian, Arrested Development Nas, Onyx, Slick Rick. We got dressed up at 12 and went to a Queen Latifah , Black Sheep, and darn I can't recall who else was there. We loved Nas and ooooh two grrreat songs well three Run DMC and Aerosmith Walk This Way
"I was a liar." and "I spent most of my life hiding in the spotlight." These words should be a part of the first step of alcoholics anonymous -- or rather admitting that we are liars. Lying to ourselves and others within our alcoholism.
Mmm this is a real, honest recovered man. Many in AA say that we only have a daily reprieve from our alcoholism based on our daily spiritual condition.
"I drank and smoked daily to anesthetize my spirit." This was a huge statement.
Yes I have a LOT of respect for Mr. McDaniels. It's rare the raw honesty I'm learning here. We do have some similarities what with both having attended Catholic School, similar home life and of couse oth of us in recoery but it really stops at that but when I was young the 80's and early 90's musicians were our heros.
There are so many similarities eteen him and myself due to the struggle with alcoholism.
December 22, 2017
Darryl McDaniels - you may know him from the legendary group Run DMC. In this memoir, Darryl talks about his depression and alcoholism and life on the other side.
To be honest I didn't like this book. Of course everyone has their own story and they tell it however they want. So it makes it hard to really say that I just didn't like someone's memoir. There were a few parts that were nice to read - such as his relationship with his wife, the moments where he spoke of his parents (particularly his mom and birth mom), his love of comics and the impact Sarah McLauchlin (so) had on his life. When he wrote about those you really felt that you were connecting with him on a more personal level and you were learning about Darryl McDaniels.
The parts I didn't like, because they appeared sooooo often throughout the book, was the bashing of Run. It felt like at least every 5-10 pages there was something about Run and how he was really just a giant arse in some way. Darryl wrote about how much he affected him and his mental health. I don't mind if this 'bashing' is true (as it would be part of Darryl l’s story), however, it just felt like most of the book ended up really being centered around. One negative memory always somehow led to Run. Even when he spoke about his wife later in the book he, and I paraphrase, mention how his wife wanted to "punch that motherf*****r" in the face. Just all of this being included consistently throughout the book was confusing to me. I felt like I was reading a Rev Run tell all
None of it seemed to really be what I expected. There are 10 chapters but it all felt randomly put together. It would go from thing to the next without making much sense. I wouldn't recommend the read.
To be honest I didn't like this book. Of course everyone has their own story and they tell it however they want. So it makes it hard to really say that I just didn't like someone's memoir. There were a few parts that were nice to read - such as his relationship with his wife, the moments where he spoke of his parents (particularly his mom and birth mom), his love of comics and the impact Sarah McLauchlin (so) had on his life. When he wrote about those you really felt that you were connecting with him on a more personal level and you were learning about Darryl McDaniels.
The parts I didn't like, because they appeared sooooo often throughout the book, was the bashing of Run. It felt like at least every 5-10 pages there was something about Run and how he was really just a giant arse in some way. Darryl wrote about how much he affected him and his mental health. I don't mind if this 'bashing' is true (as it would be part of Darryl l’s story), however, it just felt like most of the book ended up really being centered around. One negative memory always somehow led to Run. Even when he spoke about his wife later in the book he, and I paraphrase, mention how his wife wanted to "punch that motherf*****r" in the face. Just all of this being included consistently throughout the book was confusing to me. I felt like I was reading a Rev Run tell all
None of it seemed to really be what I expected. There are 10 chapters but it all felt randomly put together. It would go from thing to the next without making much sense. I wouldn't recommend the read.
June 11, 2019
This was a pretty good read! I finished it in one day. Run-DMC was way before my time, so my knowledge of the group is pretty much non-existent. All I knew about the group was that Rev Run (father of Diggy, Russ, Vanessa, and Angela Simmons) had a reality show where he somehow found a way to always be in the damn bath tub, Russell Simmons has something to do with the group, and Jam Master Jay was mysteriously killed. Sure, I knew the hits, but not the story behind them.
When I saw the title of this book, I was taken aback. I had said to myself hmm... I wonder what this book will be about. Spoiler alert, the book doesn’t quite exactly give you 10 ways to not commit suicide. So if you’re reading this book looking for a list of reasons not to, then this is not the book for you. This book pretty much goes into detail about his battle with depression, suicidal thoughts, and alcoholism. I find his story to be relatable. He doesn’t try to paint himself as a victim. Yes, people have done him wrong. But, he always self reflects and looks at his actions before bashing others. He takes accountability for his addiction and bad choices. I find his self reflecting to be inspiring. There’s a sense of peace here that I received from reading his story.
The most interesting part of this book outside of Darryl’s struggle is the stories about Rev Run. This book made me feel negative towards Run. His general selfishness and inability to care about anyone other than himself left a bad taste in my mouth. I now see him as a fraud that uses God to make himself seem more important. Run is a narcissist and I do not blame DMC for cutting him off.
This book makes me feel like I’m in group therapy and Darryl is there telling his story. I don’t feel like I’m alone in the struggle while reading this book. And basing off of what he said in some of the chapters, that was his intentions while writing this book.
I’m giving this book four stars because of the issues I have with the title. Outside of the issues I have with the title, I strongly urge you to pick up this book. I mean, I struggled to put it down!
When I saw the title of this book, I was taken aback. I had said to myself hmm... I wonder what this book will be about. Spoiler alert, the book doesn’t quite exactly give you 10 ways to not commit suicide. So if you’re reading this book looking for a list of reasons not to, then this is not the book for you. This book pretty much goes into detail about his battle with depression, suicidal thoughts, and alcoholism. I find his story to be relatable. He doesn’t try to paint himself as a victim. Yes, people have done him wrong. But, he always self reflects and looks at his actions before bashing others. He takes accountability for his addiction and bad choices. I find his self reflecting to be inspiring. There’s a sense of peace here that I received from reading his story.
The most interesting part of this book outside of Darryl’s struggle is the stories about Rev Run. This book made me feel negative towards Run. His general selfishness and inability to care about anyone other than himself left a bad taste in my mouth. I now see him as a fraud that uses God to make himself seem more important. Run is a narcissist and I do not blame DMC for cutting him off.
This book makes me feel like I’m in group therapy and Darryl is there telling his story. I don’t feel like I’m alone in the struggle while reading this book. And basing off of what he said in some of the chapters, that was his intentions while writing this book.
I’m giving this book four stars because of the issues I have with the title. Outside of the issues I have with the title, I strongly urge you to pick up this book. I mean, I struggled to put it down!
June 1, 2017
This rating is purely based from personal bias.
I learned of DMC's adoption story back when it aired on vh1 in 2006, a year after my own biological mother wanted to resume contact with me since I had recently turned of legal age. Although his and my story vary greatly, the fact that there was high-profile person sharing their adoption story - when, up until then, I certainly was not aware of any celebrities who were adopted, certainly none who shared their story in such a way - stuck with me, even though I could not consider myself a huge fan of Run-DMC (I generally like their music but have not followed their career, which coincidentally took off the year I was born).
So when I found out of his book through The Current's book club, this decade + later, I knew I wanted to read it, I wanted to read about this man whose story still stuck with me.
I found this to be a very open and honest examination of one person's struggle and fight through mental illness and all the effects it has on life both personally and professionally. I don't think DMC was concerned about how he "looked", in re: to his tense relationship with Run, when he wrote this; I think this was just him being vulnerable, letting it all out so he could allow others to, as he says in the end, know they're not alone. The portions regarding adoption and family touched me so deeply, because, as I said even though our stories are not the same, in some way there is a connection. Reading it felt like it was something I could have written. But all the chapters I found interesting in some way or another and will not soon forget the emotional journey it took me on.
I learned of DMC's adoption story back when it aired on vh1 in 2006, a year after my own biological mother wanted to resume contact with me since I had recently turned of legal age. Although his and my story vary greatly, the fact that there was high-profile person sharing their adoption story - when, up until then, I certainly was not aware of any celebrities who were adopted, certainly none who shared their story in such a way - stuck with me, even though I could not consider myself a huge fan of Run-DMC (I generally like their music but have not followed their career, which coincidentally took off the year I was born).
So when I found out of his book through The Current's book club, this decade + later, I knew I wanted to read it, I wanted to read about this man whose story still stuck with me.
I found this to be a very open and honest examination of one person's struggle and fight through mental illness and all the effects it has on life both personally and professionally. I don't think DMC was concerned about how he "looked", in re: to his tense relationship with Run, when he wrote this; I think this was just him being vulnerable, letting it all out so he could allow others to, as he says in the end, know they're not alone. The portions regarding adoption and family touched me so deeply, because, as I said even though our stories are not the same, in some way there is a connection. Reading it felt like it was something I could have written. But all the chapters I found interesting in some way or another and will not soon forget the emotional journey it took me on.
September 19, 2016
An honest telling of Darryl McDaniels' life. I agree with his ten ways, as I have used those same ways myself to keep living.
November 18, 2017
DMC is part of a rap group that is one of the most memorable of my childhood. To know that he was in so much pain at the height of his career when he should have been enjoying the glitter and glamour of fame, just goes to show you that money and fame don't buy happiness.
The most valuable lesson he offers in his memoir is this: when you aren't true to who you are and allow yourself to live out the expectations others have for you, eventually who you are demands to be set free.
Darryl McDaniels was brutally honest and open about his life, his struggles with alcoholism and depression, and the road to recovery, which had several detours. Through darkest parts of his life, he managed not to give up on living, due in large part to his family and close friends (Run NOT included...shame on you Run). He managed to come out on the other side of it all and do some pretty amazing things. And he now lives his life authentically, and he gets mad respect from me for that....that shit isn't easy to do.
If you are depressed, if you've been scared to pursue your dreams, if you feel suffocated by the expectations others have put on you, read this book. Then take a deep breath, find someone to talk to and work through your issues, and take back your life one minute, one hour, one day at a time.
Much respect to you, D. I hope I get to meet you one day to say thank you.
The most valuable lesson he offers in his memoir is this: when you aren't true to who you are and allow yourself to live out the expectations others have for you, eventually who you are demands to be set free.
Darryl McDaniels was brutally honest and open about his life, his struggles with alcoholism and depression, and the road to recovery, which had several detours. Through darkest parts of his life, he managed not to give up on living, due in large part to his family and close friends (Run NOT included...shame on you Run). He managed to come out on the other side of it all and do some pretty amazing things. And he now lives his life authentically, and he gets mad respect from me for that....that shit isn't easy to do.
If you are depressed, if you've been scared to pursue your dreams, if you feel suffocated by the expectations others have put on you, read this book. Then take a deep breath, find someone to talk to and work through your issues, and take back your life one minute, one hour, one day at a time.
Much respect to you, D. I hope I get to meet you one day to say thank you.
December 29, 2019
So when choosing my reading material for over the Christmas period all on my lonesome, picking this and a book about the disappearance of Richey from the Manic Street Preachers was probably not the best idea on reflection. I may not have completely thought out the process when I was in the library.
But regardless of how utterly depressing a subject matter the book was, it really was quite interesting. I couldn't admit to being the biggest Run DMC fan, but they are legends all the same. And for someone interested in music biography, this did not disappoint.
In a elevated time of awareness about the mental health of the world, this is an interesting study in a niche area. Tales of excess, addiction and redemption abound and it certainly all gives one hope. Excellent. Tickedy boo. But there are times when the author comes up somewhat ungrateful at his lot. His success and millions etc. It's a bit like that Moby book.
But hey, for what he wants to achieve here he more than delivers and more power too him, aside from all the bitterness and recriminating feelings about his band members.
I'm not going to forgive a musician for not being able to spell the word 'chord' though. That's unforgivable.
But regardless of how utterly depressing a subject matter the book was, it really was quite interesting. I couldn't admit to being the biggest Run DMC fan, but they are legends all the same. And for someone interested in music biography, this did not disappoint.
In a elevated time of awareness about the mental health of the world, this is an interesting study in a niche area. Tales of excess, addiction and redemption abound and it certainly all gives one hope. Excellent. Tickedy boo. But there are times when the author comes up somewhat ungrateful at his lot. His success and millions etc. It's a bit like that Moby book.
But hey, for what he wants to achieve here he more than delivers and more power too him, aside from all the bitterness and recriminating feelings about his band members.
I'm not going to forgive a musician for not being able to spell the word 'chord' though. That's unforgivable.
August 21, 2017
I won this book (sort of a surprise to me as I hadn't one any Goodreads giveaways in almost 7 months), and I was pretty excited to read it. It was a fairly simple memoir, however I found the repetition DMC used to be quite irritating. Other than that, I feel like he was pretty open and honest about his life, his problems and alcohol addiction. It's unfortunate that sometimes it takes years of life or a very traumatic experience for us humans to realize we need help, or that we have an addiction. I also had never seen the music video that he collaborated with Sarah McLachlan for his song/cover "Someone Like me/Cats in the Cradle."
"As I say now, excuses don't explain and explanations don't excuse." pg. 218
"As I say now, excuses don't explain and explanations don't excuse." pg. 218
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March 23, 2017We need to be talking more about mental illness, and we especially need more men fighting the stigma. Plus it's DMC, what can be bad? Well, I don't understand how he talks so much about not being able to express himself at various times but also clearly had a ghostwriter for this. I also have no context or empathy for hearing you're adopted and having it ruin your life. (I'm pretty sure if my mom told me I was adopted I'd shrug and say "that explains some shit.") Good writing would have made me feel for that situation even though it's not relateable. So, a worthwhile book but not what I'd call a good one. It made me revisit Run DMC's first album though, and that was dope.
August 17, 2018
This was stunningly easy to relate to. I thought he did a great job of describing depression.
I've never been a real fan of Run-DMC, other than a few of their songs. I didn't know most of those he mentioned. He's the DMC part of the group. Still, what he went through was something I could understand and relate to. So much of what he said that he did sounded a lot like me. Even if I didn't fall into the drinking and drugs.
I've never been a real fan of Run-DMC, other than a few of their songs. I didn't know most of those he mentioned. He's the DMC part of the group. Still, what he went through was something I could understand and relate to. So much of what he said that he did sounded a lot like me. Even if I didn't fall into the drinking and drugs.
Read
September 15, 2017It got a little repetitive and sometimes I didn't follow the chronology. I don't know anything about Hip-Hop, including Run DMC, but you don't need to, if you find memoirs interesting. I do, I like reading about lives like mine, and lives completely different from mine.
May 27, 2016
3.5/4 - I always thought he and Run was close... A lot of flip flopping which irk my nerves.
August 10, 2016
Interesting read. Would never have guessed that he was depressed when he was on top of his game.
Also interesting to read about what Hollis was like back in the day.
Also interesting to read about what Hollis was like back in the day.
September 4, 2019
Originally published online at BORG.com.
Darryl McDaniels–he’s the DMC of the trio Run DMC, known for its team-up with Aerosmith on the band’s cover of “Walk this Way,” plus hits like “Tricky” and more. He’s the King of Rock, sold 30 million albums, made rap and hip-hop the popular music genre it is today, and he was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. But he doesn’t count any of those things as his most important personal accomplishment. In his memoir, Ten Ways Not to Commit Suicide–A Memoir, McDaniels reveals in a personal and down-to-earth way the trials he has faced despite his money and career success, leading to alcoholism and debilitating depression. Despite its “Ten Ways…” title, it’s not his version of a twelve-step program as much as an insightful self-help book that doubles as an autobiography.
McDaniels’ story is deep and dark and yet he uses his story to motivate those around him and his writing reflects this generous sharing of failures for others to learn from. McDaniels was a middle class, self-styled geek, raised in a good family, successfully avoiding the gangs and violence of New York City as a kid, and by the time he was out of his teens he was a superstar. As a kid he loved comic books and he loved to draw. “Growing up, I’d always been a comic book geek. I loved to draw superheroes almost as much as I liked to read about them. Comics were an escape, a way to make myself feel strong and invincible rather than like the quiet little four-eyed nerd I essentially was.” But his venture into comics wouldn’t happen until much later. He jumped on board with two neighborhood kids from Queens as they used turntables and rhyme to create a new music niche in the mid-1980s. All those kids wearing high-top sneakers with no shoestrings? Run-DMC also set a new fashion style for a generation. And McDaniels infused comic book concepts into his songs along the way.
But McDaniels says he always felt something missing, and he often turned to alcohol to escape. Ups and downs and assistance from family and friends allowed him to break through it all and come out on top, but not easily. In one of his best stories he recounts the backlash early on that he received because of his band’s instant fame–even beyond other established rap heroes. Members of his favorite band–Cold Crush–dissed him and Joey “Run” Simmons backstage at a show, but rather than be brought down by it, he saw it as an indication of success. But by McDaniels’ account, Run’s dominance in the band left him without a role after a few albums, and alcoholism would literally take away McDaniel’s voice. After he thought he was past the alcoholism, he would find himself returning to drinking whenever a life crisis presented itself. A key event was discovering he was adopted, learned after a conversation with his mother while working on documenting his life story.
He would go on a reality show and track down and ultimately find his biological family, which introduced even more confusion for his mental state, but it was also his pathway for getting help from a therapist and rehab. Inspiration to get help and move forward surprisingly also came from the soothing music of Sarah McLachlan, and his story of her role in his upward climb is now well-known. They eventually recorded an album together (I discussed it here at borg.com after meeting McDaniels at Planet Comicon back in 2014). It’s a great story and he recounts all the details in his book.
We know McDaniels in the comic book world from what he has done after Run DMC broke up upon the death of band member DJ Jam Master Jay, publishing his own comics as DMC, now “Darryl Makes Comics” and speaking and rhyming for fans across the country. McDaniels has attended local conventions and comic book store events, and is a champion of foster kids and adoption.
You won’t find ten steps in this book that will help you or someone you care about deal with depression, but his message of “you are not alone” should resonate with anyone. McDaniels addresses many areas of tragedy, and if you or someone you know suffers from depression, addiction, has experienced the deaths of close family and friends, if they’ve wrestled with attempts at brainwashing or religious cults, overbearing friends and colleagues, and if you’ve been adopted or are thinking about adopting and fostering, you will find something positive and helpful to take away from McDaniels’ story. A great read published in hardcover late last year, Darryl McDaniels’ Ten Ways Not to Commit Suicide–A Memoir is now available in paperback from HarperCollins’ Amistad imprint.
Darryl McDaniels–he’s the DMC of the trio Run DMC, known for its team-up with Aerosmith on the band’s cover of “Walk this Way,” plus hits like “Tricky” and more. He’s the King of Rock, sold 30 million albums, made rap and hip-hop the popular music genre it is today, and he was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. But he doesn’t count any of those things as his most important personal accomplishment. In his memoir, Ten Ways Not to Commit Suicide–A Memoir, McDaniels reveals in a personal and down-to-earth way the trials he has faced despite his money and career success, leading to alcoholism and debilitating depression. Despite its “Ten Ways…” title, it’s not his version of a twelve-step program as much as an insightful self-help book that doubles as an autobiography.
McDaniels’ story is deep and dark and yet he uses his story to motivate those around him and his writing reflects this generous sharing of failures for others to learn from. McDaniels was a middle class, self-styled geek, raised in a good family, successfully avoiding the gangs and violence of New York City as a kid, and by the time he was out of his teens he was a superstar. As a kid he loved comic books and he loved to draw. “Growing up, I’d always been a comic book geek. I loved to draw superheroes almost as much as I liked to read about them. Comics were an escape, a way to make myself feel strong and invincible rather than like the quiet little four-eyed nerd I essentially was.” But his venture into comics wouldn’t happen until much later. He jumped on board with two neighborhood kids from Queens as they used turntables and rhyme to create a new music niche in the mid-1980s. All those kids wearing high-top sneakers with no shoestrings? Run-DMC also set a new fashion style for a generation. And McDaniels infused comic book concepts into his songs along the way.
But McDaniels says he always felt something missing, and he often turned to alcohol to escape. Ups and downs and assistance from family and friends allowed him to break through it all and come out on top, but not easily. In one of his best stories he recounts the backlash early on that he received because of his band’s instant fame–even beyond other established rap heroes. Members of his favorite band–Cold Crush–dissed him and Joey “Run” Simmons backstage at a show, but rather than be brought down by it, he saw it as an indication of success. But by McDaniels’ account, Run’s dominance in the band left him without a role after a few albums, and alcoholism would literally take away McDaniel’s voice. After he thought he was past the alcoholism, he would find himself returning to drinking whenever a life crisis presented itself. A key event was discovering he was adopted, learned after a conversation with his mother while working on documenting his life story.
He would go on a reality show and track down and ultimately find his biological family, which introduced even more confusion for his mental state, but it was also his pathway for getting help from a therapist and rehab. Inspiration to get help and move forward surprisingly also came from the soothing music of Sarah McLachlan, and his story of her role in his upward climb is now well-known. They eventually recorded an album together (I discussed it here at borg.com after meeting McDaniels at Planet Comicon back in 2014). It’s a great story and he recounts all the details in his book.
We know McDaniels in the comic book world from what he has done after Run DMC broke up upon the death of band member DJ Jam Master Jay, publishing his own comics as DMC, now “Darryl Makes Comics” and speaking and rhyming for fans across the country. McDaniels has attended local conventions and comic book store events, and is a champion of foster kids and adoption.
You won’t find ten steps in this book that will help you or someone you care about deal with depression, but his message of “you are not alone” should resonate with anyone. McDaniels addresses many areas of tragedy, and if you or someone you know suffers from depression, addiction, has experienced the deaths of close family and friends, if they’ve wrestled with attempts at brainwashing or religious cults, overbearing friends and colleagues, and if you’ve been adopted or are thinking about adopting and fostering, you will find something positive and helpful to take away from McDaniels’ story. A great read published in hardcover late last year, Darryl McDaniels’ Ten Ways Not to Commit Suicide–A Memoir is now available in paperback from HarperCollins’ Amistad imprint.
February 1, 2021
3.5 Stars. I did enjoy this book, especially the audiobook. I’m not a fan of the rap group (since they were big before I was old enough to really get into music) but I have heard of them. I went into the book without knowing much of anything, other than the fact it (at the very least) mentioned depression.
We live in a time were people, especially known people (celebrities, influencers etc), try to talk openly about mental health issues. And I find that admirable. It’s not easy to put yourself out there to be judged (and people judge) or made light of (because not everyone understands the struggle, the burden that mental health problems have on the person struggling but also on family and friends). But I admire everyone that finds the courage to tell their story, not for the attention it brings, but to let others know, they’re not alone. Someone out there knows what they struggle with, how hard it is to get your life back on track again and especially how hard it is to stay on track.
Darryl McDaniels struggled with depression and substance abuse while also living in the public eye, being a world known rapper. Not everyone can relate to all of that, but it doesn’t make his problems any less or any worse that other’s. Just somewhat different. But then again, everyone’s mental health problems, while they can be somewhat similar, are also unique to every person, to their background, to their lives. I enjoyed the openness of the author, his honesty about what he’s been through, how long it took him to get better…the relapse. But especially the fact that he talked about how long it took him to really figure out that substance abuse alone was not the only issue. It rarely is. And it can take years for someone to see the problems in the background.
It’s not a flawless book. At times it feels full of anger, full of resentment against what Darryl McDaniels perceives as a ‘contributing factor’ to his problems. And that’s ok. Depression that goes years untreated leaves marks. You don’t just get better over night and never feel pray to it again. It can make you angry and resentful… at yourself, at other people. It brings people close but it also alienates people.
I guess at the end of it, I would recommend this book. It’s a relatively short fast read that still talks about heavy topics without going in too deep or being too dark.
We live in a time were people, especially known people (celebrities, influencers etc), try to talk openly about mental health issues. And I find that admirable. It’s not easy to put yourself out there to be judged (and people judge) or made light of (because not everyone understands the struggle, the burden that mental health problems have on the person struggling but also on family and friends). But I admire everyone that finds the courage to tell their story, not for the attention it brings, but to let others know, they’re not alone. Someone out there knows what they struggle with, how hard it is to get your life back on track again and especially how hard it is to stay on track.
Darryl McDaniels struggled with depression and substance abuse while also living in the public eye, being a world known rapper. Not everyone can relate to all of that, but it doesn’t make his problems any less or any worse that other’s. Just somewhat different. But then again, everyone’s mental health problems, while they can be somewhat similar, are also unique to every person, to their background, to their lives. I enjoyed the openness of the author, his honesty about what he’s been through, how long it took him to get better…the relapse. But especially the fact that he talked about how long it took him to really figure out that substance abuse alone was not the only issue. It rarely is. And it can take years for someone to see the problems in the background.
It’s not a flawless book. At times it feels full of anger, full of resentment against what Darryl McDaniels perceives as a ‘contributing factor’ to his problems. And that’s ok. Depression that goes years untreated leaves marks. You don’t just get better over night and never feel pray to it again. It can make you angry and resentful… at yourself, at other people. It brings people close but it also alienates people.
I guess at the end of it, I would recommend this book. It’s a relatively short fast read that still talks about heavy topics without going in too deep or being too dark.
January 3, 2021
I liked this book mostly because I found it so relatable. McDaniels's fame didn't shelter him from the mental health and life-coping problems many of us face. In fact, his celebrity status probably exacerbated those issues.
Of course, McDaniels is famous for being DMC, one third of iconic hip-hop group Run-DMC. Being in the spotlight in the hip-hop industry put a lot of pressure on McDaniels, and many others, to be tough and invincible around others, while internally he was suffering greatly by not standing up for himself and asking for help he clearly needed. It almost cost him his life.
I'm not a famous rap artist, as far as I know, but McDaniels's story couldn't have been more understandable to me. I connected with what he was talking about from page one.
This is more of a "recovery memoir" than a standard celebrity memoir, though there is plenty of insight into the music biz and issues within Run-DMC. I find it to be a compelling account of how his mind and spirit evolved and what he realized along the way.
I was reminded of the Geto Boyz's old song, "Mind Playin' Tricks on Me", perhaps the first rap hit to address mental health problems. The genre has come a long way in talking about things like depression and addiction since Run-DMC hit it big in the mid-1980s.
It's one of those lessons that is against cultural expectations: it actually shows great strength to be able to recognize your faults and ask for help. Tough guys are usually hiding something and presenting a facade. The trope that guys have to be emotionless is one reason suicide is a leading killer of young men.
I appreciated and admired DMCs honesty, and willingness to be vulnerable in public with this memoir of his struggles with alcoholism, suicidal ideations, and crippling depression. And his candor in discussing his relapse, his growing apart from his band mates, and his cluttered but ultimately successful recovery and rediscovery of his true self were communicated like he is telling each reader as a trusted friend.
Great lessons learned. Definitely a book I would recommend to anyone who is a creative professional and struggling with mental health and addiction, or anyone who thinks they always have to be the tough guy instead of recognizing and talking about their resentments and struggles.
Of course, McDaniels is famous for being DMC, one third of iconic hip-hop group Run-DMC. Being in the spotlight in the hip-hop industry put a lot of pressure on McDaniels, and many others, to be tough and invincible around others, while internally he was suffering greatly by not standing up for himself and asking for help he clearly needed. It almost cost him his life.
I'm not a famous rap artist, as far as I know, but McDaniels's story couldn't have been more understandable to me. I connected with what he was talking about from page one.
This is more of a "recovery memoir" than a standard celebrity memoir, though there is plenty of insight into the music biz and issues within Run-DMC. I find it to be a compelling account of how his mind and spirit evolved and what he realized along the way.
I was reminded of the Geto Boyz's old song, "Mind Playin' Tricks on Me", perhaps the first rap hit to address mental health problems. The genre has come a long way in talking about things like depression and addiction since Run-DMC hit it big in the mid-1980s.
It's one of those lessons that is against cultural expectations: it actually shows great strength to be able to recognize your faults and ask for help. Tough guys are usually hiding something and presenting a facade. The trope that guys have to be emotionless is one reason suicide is a leading killer of young men.
I appreciated and admired DMCs honesty, and willingness to be vulnerable in public with this memoir of his struggles with alcoholism, suicidal ideations, and crippling depression. And his candor in discussing his relapse, his growing apart from his band mates, and his cluttered but ultimately successful recovery and rediscovery of his true self were communicated like he is telling each reader as a trusted friend.
Great lessons learned. Definitely a book I would recommend to anyone who is a creative professional and struggling with mental health and addiction, or anyone who thinks they always have to be the tough guy instead of recognizing and talking about their resentments and struggles.
July 30, 2017
One third of hip hop's most legendary acts, Run DMC, Darryl McDaniels opens up with sometimes brutal honesty and intensity about the battles with addiction and depression that dogged him for most of his life. It's a quick, bracing read without too much of the usual celebrity tell-all salaciousness despite the subject. The object here is to offer a voice of compassion, survival and hope to anyone struggling to figure out who they are. McDaniels recounts how despite being one of the most celebrated and recognized rappers of all time-how a sudden career slump, a lifelong tendency to bury his feelings by drinking, and finding out in his thirties he'd been adopted all lead to a long, dark journey of self-discovery and acceptance. Not content to merely detail the high times and low-lights of a celebrity lifestyle, McDaniels carefully and honestly faces down his demons and goes for more than the simple, happy ending of triumphant redemption. I've long been a fan of Run DMC, but after this, I have tons of respect for Darryl McDaniels.
August 25, 2019
DMC has definitely had a wild ride in life. From reading his memoir, it's amazing he's still alive, but I'm glad he is and chose to share his experiences. I have bouts with depression myself --I call it the black funk and it visits me often -- and am always looking for insights into how other people cope. DMC got damn lucky with a lot of the breaks he had that kept him going and saved his life, but he also did a lot of work to heal his wounds and create the life he wanted. His journey opened my eyes to some ways I could handle my life and how I share my energy better. Not the most well-written book and he sometimes lost me a bit in the trajectory of his stories, but well worth the read if you are a RUN-DMC fan, dig memoirs, or struggle with addiction and/or depression.
May 30, 2024
I appreciate anyone willing to share their struggles in life, and DMC bravely shared his battle with alcohol and depression. I have a family member struggling with depression, and I read the book to see if it would be something I could suggest to them. While I found some valuable insights in the book, I decided not to recommend it since DMC renounces God, claiming that he is his own god or higher power. I'm not knocking anyone’s beliefs, but I firmly believe that faith in Jesus is the ultimate way out of the darkness of depression. I continue to pray for my family member, hoping they will accept Jesus and find the light and peace they need.
April 28, 2023
It's a rare peek behind the curtain at a group that made an indelible mark - rolling stone
amistad- imprint of Harper Collins Publisher
1- You Drink, You Die - Escaping the Grip of Alcohol Abuse
Isolation was the absolute wrong move. It was potentially deadly in those moments because it ensured that my voice- the one feeding me negativity and promoting the notion that I lacked self-worth- was the only voice I allowed myself to hear
amistad- imprint of Harper Collins Publisher
1- You Drink, You Die - Escaping the Grip of Alcohol Abuse
Isolation was the absolute wrong move. It was potentially deadly in those moments because it ensured that my voice- the one feeding me negativity and promoting the notion that I lacked self-worth- was the only voice I allowed myself to hear
June 5, 2017
Darryl McDAniels (DMC of Run-DMC fame) tells a very open account of his battle with depression, thoughts of suicide, and drug and alcohol addiction. It was surprising to hear how the song Angel helped him turn things around. Anyhow, he has turned his life around. Nice story, I learned a lot about him. OK book.
July 18, 2017
Started off slow and was a bit hard to follow as far as a timeline. He arranged it by life events, his marriage, rehab, alcoholism and birth mother etc. He read the audio book so I was able to get a feel for his passion for his projects.... much of the last part of the book was about how he dealt with his problems and I took away some self help type advice. Very interesting background.
April 15, 2018
Audiobook. Glad he read it himself. The first chapter was the best, most integrated with the title.
It meandered down some paths and would come back. So it would go from personal to reflective and distant. Sprinkled with random facts about social issues.
5 stars for honesty.
3 stars because of story structure.
It meandered down some paths and would come back. So it would go from personal to reflective and distant. Sprinkled with random facts about social issues.
5 stars for honesty.
3 stars because of story structure.
April 6, 2021
DMC’s messages feel personally timely, and his tone and approach is so conversational and cordial and open that I felt like I was having a long conversation with an old friend. He doesn’t share anything especially revolutionary, but his tale is nevertheless engaging and well-paced. Happily flew through this one.
February 21, 2018
Very honest, soul baring memoir. Not what I thought it would be exactly. Equal parts addiction memoir, self help book, DJ Run hate fest, “Angel” by Sarah Mclachlan love letter, with a little Run DMC history thrown into the mix. Not bad. I hope DMC is able to stay clean.
November 23, 2019
This is a great book for people to read so they don't feel alone with their thoughts. DMC shares his struggles with his personal life and how certain things have impacted him. The title may not be the best for this book because it isn't exactly broken down into lessons or coping strategies.
February 16, 2021
I’m not a hip hop fan. I picked up this book bc I will read the autobiography of nearly anyone. This was absolutely terrific. He utilizes a high level of honest reflection. His love and pain were palpable. I would love to hug him.
September 30, 2022
For better and for worse, reading this book felt like talking to a friend. It made DMC a real human with deep, raw, complex, messy, and lovely emotions. Yet, there was nothing pulling me through this book, getting me excited to pick it up every night.
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