Billy, Me & You: A Memoir of Grief and Recovery

by Nicola Streeten

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Nicola Streeten’s little boy, Billy, was two years old when he died following heart surgery for problems diagnosed only 10 days earlier. Gut-wrenchingly sad at times, her graphic memoir is an unforgettable portrayal of trauma and our reaction to it – and, especially, the humor or absurdity so often involved in our responses. As Streeten’s story unfolds and we follow her and her partner’s heroic efforts to cope with well-meaning friends and day-to-day realities, we begin to understand what she means by her aim to create a "dead baby story that is funny."

Genres: Graphic Novels, Memoir, Comics, Nonfiction, Grief, Biography, Death

224 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 1, 2011

Reviews

[Rob Delaney · Rating 5 out of 5]

My son died at age 2 a year and half ago. This book has helped me tremendously. It is beautiful, raw and real. I am only writing a review because I saw that the average review was 3.8 stars. Just wanted to put in writing that this book is a gift to the world and anyone who gave it less than 5 stars is a stupid asshole.

[Stewart Tame · Rating 4 out of 5]

In July of 1993, Nicola and John had a son, a little boy named Billy. He died in September of 1995, just over two years later.

As the subtitle says, this is a memoir of grief and recovery. It's obviously a very personal journey--everyone deals with pain in their own way, after all. There are ups and downs, but she and her husband work things through. The artwork is confident and assured. Streeten has a lovely way of mingling photos and linework that works very well. I was worried initially that this might be a little too heavy and emotionally draining for me, but it turned out not to be as bad as I'd feared. The emotions are all there, but Streeten's keen eye for detail kept me riveted. We see the myriad ways in which others react to the tragic news, often unpredictably. I particularly liked the bits about dealing with the funeral director--there's a certain level of absurdity in his assumptions and their reactions to him ... it's a cool detail. I wound up enjoying this more than I was expecting to. A harrowing subject, to be sure, but an excellent graphic novel!

[Becki Iverson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've been searching for this book through the library system for years so I finally just bought it. It's definitely one I plan to hold on to and share with others in times of grief and loss. I love Nicola's no-bullshit portrayal of the devastating heartbreak she faced at the loss of her child. Her raw, unfiltered perspective is oddly comforting, in that it doesn't offer trite solutions or unkeepable promises. Instead, Nicola plainly shares her grief and tumultuous healing process, allowing the reader to mourn and grow with her. By the end we are able to celebrate the new life she builds, while also understanding that it will never be quite "right" regardless of what she does - and that's okay.

I've been thinking a lot lately about the attitude that women's stories "can't be universal" or are somehow not as valuable when they tend to be about more personal relationships or internalized feelings. I want to call bullshit on that right now. This is a very feminine book - everything about the subject matter, the words used, the emotion that seeps through every page - but it is about a subject (death) that literally every human has in common. Nicola's raw honesty and bold openness about an extremely difficult subject allow any reader to be touched by this work. I really enjoyed this and I'd highly recommend it to anyone going through a grieving process. Through the pain and frank clarity of her perspective, there is a lot of healing balm to be found.

[Mollie · Rating 4 out of 5]

wayyyyyy wayyyyyy wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy different than my usual read, but I thought this was a unique take on a graphic novel, not a bad read for a school book

[Morgan Stoker Taylor · Rating 3 out of 5]

You can read this in one sitting. Nicola recounts the experience of losing a child to cancer about 10 years after the fact. Very sad and eye-opening.

[Lauren · Rating 4 out of 5]

As soon as I read the blurb for this book I was captured. The grief experienced through the loss of a child expressed through a graphic novel is something I haven't ever come across before and I couldn't wait to read it.

This was lovely to read. I finished it in one sitting and automatically wanted to read it all over again. I just didn't want it to end! It isn't depressing or heavy at all but instead surprisingly lighthearted. There is no way someone can explain the pain they feel whilst grieving but this novel does an incredible job at it. All the hand drawn images help the author convey her feelings accurately which is something you wouldn't get from a regular novel.

I feel like this novel could be quite comforting for people with similar experiences or quite informative for somebody who would like to know more about the topic area. It gives a first hand account that you wouldn't get from leaflets, online or in textbooks. I would definitely recommend this novel!

[Stephen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent - very moving, often funny and totally believable. Streeten's art may seem a little unpolished to some; I personally like the style anyway, but also found it to be extremely expressive. This art communicates exceedingly well.

One infinitesimal niggle - which I mention really as a discussion point rather than a complaint - is that I found the uppercase lettering a touch jarring. Would be interested to know why Nicola decided to do that. But that does not detract in any way from what is an excellent comic.

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was very surprised at how well this author was able to capture the reality of her grief in such an unconventional way. The book was honest, and a quick read.

[Breh · Rating 5 out of 5]

In 2022, I was recommended this graphic novel from MK Czerwiec (comic artist and educator in graphic medicine). They had kindly responded to my email after seeing they gave a talk at my college. I had months before suddenly lost my grandmother to lung cancer, and I was really struggling with grief. This was one of the recommendations made to me, and although it is years later, I am really glad I finally sat down and read this. Grief looks different for everyone, and I think representing that is really important. Streeten does a beautiful job illustrating her own grief, and it made me feel a little less alone. I highly recommend, especially for anyone who has struggled with loss or grief in any form. All grief is valid, and representations of this, like this novel, is so incredibly important.

[Aoife Goldie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Through illustration, sharp dialogue and photographs, Streeten shares the devastation of trying to live after the death of her two year old son, Billy.

There’s no fluff around the edges here, it’s honest, confronting, devastating, light and dark. She created it 13 years after Billy’s death, and we benefit from this time and thought because each page is illuminating.

It’s a wonderful book, and if you do read it, pause at page 21… I’ll remember this image always.

[Garrie Fletcher · Rating 4 out of 5]

A wonderful book full of honesty, sadness and laughter. The artwork is simple and effective as is Streeten’s story telling. I was impressed with the power conveyed in a few simple lines or well chosen words.

Grief is never easy to tackle and even harder when it includes the death of a child. The fact that Streeten manages to do this and make you laugh is testament to her excellent story telling.

[Brandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love graphic memoirs. Sad, but also funny and helpful at the same time. I am continually drawn toward grief stories, probably because of my early experience with it and how much I work with at my job.

[Merrill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful, heartfelt, evocative drawings, funny in the way only really tragic things can be

[Mono · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fui claramente enganado pela contracapa, que prometia um livro divertido. Digamos que em certos momentos é bem fodido.

[Molly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unbelievably good.

[Jenn · Rating 3 out of 5]

My first graphic novel… so fascinating to me to experience this creativity and see how the author so clearly shared her story
I loved paged 175

[Sally · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent, moving and brilliant read. Would recommend to everyone.

[Kevin · Rating 4 out of 5]

A poignant graphic novel exploring grief over the death of the author's two-year-old son. Quick but interesting and touching.

[Kristi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Creative and soulful comic about grief, love, family, and hope.

[Grace Hassell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I could give this book 1000 stars and I thank the author for their brave and honest writing. You have helped so many people,

[Jonathan · Rating 2 out of 5]

A good story but my god the drawing just didn't do it for me

[Jane Wilson-Howarth · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an impressive contribution - powerful, moving, eye-opening and helpful to bereaved people and their close friends and relations, not to mention those who worry about 'saying the wrong thing' to people going through a tough time. I especially enjoyed the part when reactions to the news 'my child died' were scored out of 10. Some people earned a score of -20!
I also thought the pages dealing with the competitiveness of pain and the depth of grief were especially insightful.
I believe this is an important work. It can be a quick read so it is perfect for that numb state the bereaved find themselves, with difficulty concentrating on anything properly.
I whole-heartedly recommend it.... it is perfect reading for anyone who has lost a loved one.
It'll make you smile.

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this in one go whilst in the bath and cried and laughed all the way through it. Despite its harrowing subject matter (the author's 2 year old child dies, and how she deals with the grief and anger and the stupid people), the book is surprisingly funny as well.

There's some very dark humour, but also some laugh out loud moments. Plenty of it made me cry too. I'm not a parent, and can't possibly understand how bad it must be to lose a child, but I think this book gives me an inkling of the emotional rollercoaster.

It must have been incredibly cathartic for Streeten to write this, but it's also a book that is very accessible. I highly recommend it.

[Selina Lock · Rating 4 out of 5]

An affecting graphic memoir of Nicola Streeten's struggle with grief and people's reactions after the death of her young son. Our society is not good at discussing death and how we deal with it, so this gives a fascinating insight into one family's experience and their slow recovery after their loss.

The artwork reflects the feelings expressed in a vivid manner. Particularly some of the funeral scenes where people appear ghostly and unreal, showing the disconnect grief can cause.

[Timaree · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is by far the best book for/by bereaved parents that I have read. Streeten takes this taboo subject of losing a child and finds humor and anger and all the varying complexities of emotion that accompany losing one's child, particularly one's only child. I saw myself and my life in this over and over again. I absolutely loved it and would recommend it to any parent who has lost a child or anyone who knows a parent who has a lost a child.

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

A very personal and raw graphic novel. I can't even comprehend what it must be like to lose a child, but this memoir gives me a tiny insight of the dark and light moments from Streeten's experience.

The art wasn't my favourite, but it was very suited to the subject matter and further emphasised the overwhelming feeling of grief.

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very honest and moving look (and I do mean look--it is very visual) at the chaos of grief.

[Francine Chu · Rating 4 out of 5]

Art sucks but the emotion captured is poignant & moving. No parent should have to go through this nightmare...

[Gretel · Rating 2 out of 5]

Heartfelt and surprisingly funny in parts, but I feel the art really let it down. It's childish and messy and just doesn't seem polished enough for a published copy.

[Jenny · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great insight into grief and loss. Art not to my taste but fits well with the subject matter.