Getting to Commitment

by M.J.F. Media, Julia Sokol

Our parents look at us, and they wonder, what's wrong? Our happily married friends try to introduce us to appropriate mates, even while they are wondering, what's wrong? We spend evenings with equally unattached single friends, and together we wonder, what's wrong? They write sitcoms about people like us, but it looks like it's a lot more fun on the small screen than it feels like in real life.

Genres: Relationships, Self Help, Psychology, Nonfiction, Personal Development

255 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1998

Reviews

[Benjamin Lupton · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book on telling you in every single way you've fucked up your relationship and are a complete failure in that side. The most valuable part is looking at your actions, your patterns, rather than your intentions and words. I had 3 out of the 7 traits... so that is something. I wish I read this before I did any committed relationships. It really does show that exclusive monogamous relationships are about a particular ideology and framework - one that the author unfortunately never questions, mentions of alternative structures are never raised - however that is the thing, long-term exclusive monogamous relationships are one strict ideology that this books outlines how to implement well.

[Caroline Wang · Rating 4 out of 5]

Like mini-relationship therapy wrapped up in a warm, conversational tone. I read this sporadically throughout the year. Sometimes, I would pick the book up, and I could not relate at all to the examples- and other times, I felt like someone was narrating the darkest corners of my fears and doubts *____*...It was all at once embarrassing but comforting to recognize that our worst commitment fears are common but never a barrier we aren’t able to work through. Its hard to find that same level of honesty in real life when people portray their relationships - so this was a refreshing, down-to-earth read.

[Hesham Nammari · Rating 4 out of 5]

Literacy is taught in school as it is vital to our existence. Companionship is also a vital part of ones life, but we are expected to navigate that word based on personal experiences and understands.

Previously, people learned about and sought advise about relationships from religion. Schools taught reading, religions taught you about life. It defined the framework for relationships based on a set of morals and understandings at the time. With the world becoming more secular, a void has been left as these frameworks are no longer relevant/applicable.

Having never formally learned about relationships, this book provided me with a plethora of knowlage on how to navigate this crazy world, a whole new perspective on connection and a framework to follow for achieving a loving relationship.


"Real commitment is magical. It will transform you. Making a life with someone you love who loves you back can only bring out the best in you . The wonderful thing about commitment - the truly amazing thing - is that it gives back so much. more than it takes."

[Mike Mercurio · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretty easy to read and gets to the point with concise chapters about dilemmas akin to many relationships. Not surprisingly, I 'suffered' from many of the points brought up. Funny thing is, most of this stuff should be something I'd already known, but sometimes it has to be read and seen to confirm what is allegedly already known. Either way, I need a break and this book confirms it.

[Kait Smo · Rating 3 out of 5]

At times the author goes on and on about things that could be said in a few sentences. But there are things worth reading in this book, especially if committing or getting someone to commit to you seems like the quest for the holy grail. It has definitely increased my understanding.

[Jules · Rating 4 out of 5]

this book helped me at a time when I was about to lose my proverbial sh!t. Even though its very very written for straight men, I could see past that to some hilariously typical patterns that I had dig my heels into. it opened my eyes enough to where I could get myself out of the hole that I was digging.

[Per André · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well written, with lots of no-nonsense advice ...from a guy who has been there.

[Irene ✨ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not sure if it’s because I haven’t read many pop-psych-ish self-help books, but some of the content was presented really strongly — not recommended if you tend to accept fuck-ups, traits or potentially non-constructive labels as inherent parts of yourself.

But otherwise, this was an entertaining listen from the Audible Plus catalogue, and though I mostly completed the listen out of morbid curiosity, it uncovered potentially negative patterns that could be extrapolated for both platonic and romantic relationships.

[Monica Rios · Rating 4 out of 5]

I went into reading this book to understand men I have dated, not expecting to see all the ways I run away from commitment myself. I’m really grateful for this book because it helped me to understand my own self destructive patterns and hopefully brought me closer to really being ready for love.

[Farrah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredible book. Really changed my perspective on relationships. I wish I had read this sooner!

[Shradhdha. · Rating 4 out of 5]

A widower in his early 50's insisted that I read this book since it changed his choices after his partner passed on. I was intrigued, amazed and curious.

The book re-emphasises the beauty of committing to ones own happiness - everything else quickly falls into place. Loved the discussions that led to the book. Loved the idea that there are endless number of ways that commitment can be cherished, with children, with patients, family and colleagues!

[Larry Babcock · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book does a decent job of helping you see when a person has commitment issues, and how to work through those issues.

[Sue Campbell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Research/got exactly what I wanted to out of it.