The Unprocessed Child: Living Without School

by Valerie Fitzenreiter

The Unprocessed Child is a work of nonfiction about a child raised with no coercion and no curriculum. Laurie Chancey spent her childhood immersing herself in topics of her own choosing. She was never forced to learn something simply because tradition and/or society said it was necessary. No one was looking over her shoulder to make sure she was learning the "proper" subjects. Having never seen a textbook or taken a test, never used workbooks or any type of teaching techniques, Laurie scored in the top 10% of the state of Louisiana on her college entrance exam. She enrolled in college when she was eighteen, and graduated summa cum laude three and a half years later. Laurie is a bright adult, but her IQ is not why she did so well. She spent her life learning to learn and it’s something that now comes easily to her. The Unprocessed Child was written by her mother and is full of examples of raising a child with respect and dignity. It is the first book written about a radically unschooled child who has now reached adulthood and is a responsible member of society. Questions about the radical unschooling lifestyle are answered on topics ranging from socialization, parental responsibility, self-discipline, chores, bedtimes and much more. The book shows that it is not only possible to befriend your child, but that it is highly preferable to the struggles that so many parents go through with their children. It proves that school is not necessary for learning, socializing or motivation.

Genres: Parenting, Education, Nonfiction, Memoir

264 pages, Paperback

First published July 1, 2003

Reviews

[Emily Mellow · Rating 3 out of 5]

Yeah, this lady needs some more practice writing. She spends the entire book boasting, and without the lightness of humor, about the fine job she did raising her daughter. Much of the time it feels a little defensive, because her decisions were so unconventional and usually very self-sacrificing (such as going with her daughter to the bathroom and bedroom each and every time she had to go from age 9-13 to check for gremlins in every closet and drawer). But her daughter sounds like a lovely and amazing person and I would love to know her. The mom, not so much. She describes herself as a bit of a clown, but that just doesn't come through in her writing.
The fact is, she does have important things to say. I spent much of my time reading this book (when I wasn't ridiculing the writing style) processing ways in which I could apply what I was reading to my own parenting, and I think it has made me a better parent. I remembered to enjoy my children rather than trying to control them. I was reminded how magical and brilliant and perfect they naturally are, and how we just have to listen, and say "yes". So I am doing it, I really am. I just have to be reminded of these things every few months to keep me going in the right direction, and this book has made the difference that I needed.
I went from feeling like I was losing Loki in some kind of 4-year-old adolescence, to really connecting and cherishing him in ways I haven't been for a long time. I suddenly feel more patient and loving. So this book is worth wading through self-righteousness and poor literary skill. At least she has the right idea.

[Meredith Henning · Rating 2 out of 5]

I grabbed this book whilst searching for other books one day and enjoyed parts of it. Overall I was not surprised that the author has a strong distaste of institutionalized learning of any kind, even the way most home schoolers educate at home. I would consider her a radical unschooler which seemed to work for her and her daughter. I did learn quite a bit about her parenting views as well, and they are not mine. She seemed to want to relive her own life through her daughter's and expressed a keen desire to have her daughter be her best friend at any cost.

[Shannon · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had to stop about halfway through the book and skim to the end.

I found her tone to be very self-righteous and condescending, especially considering that her unschooling experience consisted of one child in the home. I would love to see if her holier-than-thou attitude survived a home with two children (or four). It's not so easy to "let them do what they want" when they all want to do the same thing at once (e.g. computer).

[Wendy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I both agreed and disagreed with the way the author raised and "schooled" (unschooled) her child. This is radical unschooling at its most extreme. I love the idea of respecting a child and their interests, treating them with love and admiration, and allowing them to make decisions for themselves, and yet, I was uncomfortable with the complete freedom allowed in this home (a couple of times it even meant that the mother and child went behind the father's back and did things he did not want happening while he was away from home at work). It would never work quite that way in my home. I think it is OK to guide and direct children, to show them where they have erred and could make some changes. I think that the family working together to keep up a clean and comfortable home is a good thing. This is a brief response to a decent-sized book--I don't really have time to go into all of my opinions on this book. I'll just say that I consider our family unschoolers. We allow our children to learn whatever they want, and do our best to respect their desires and interests in all things. However, we also work together, learn together, and grow together. We don't cater to our kids in the respect that their needs are supreme above ours or their siblings'. We believe that parents are needed for a little more beyond granting a child's every whim. We're here to teach and guide and show the way to our beloved children, in a gentle manner. Generally, I don't mind how other people home educate or raise their children, but at times, Valerie Fitzenreiter was very condescending to anyone who did not share her views, and that rubbed me the wrong way. She was also very pleased with herself, which was grating on my nerves at times. I did agree with a decent amount of what she said, and even learned some things. That made it so that I brought my rating from two stars to three stars.

[Annette Purcell · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was good enough that I wanted to read it to the end. I appreciated the short chapters which made it a quick read.
I’ve done a lot of research on unschooling and this book supported many of my prior findings - I agree that children learn best when they are free to discover their world and follow their interests.
I did find that the author makes some very sweeping generalizations that are not necessarily true about conventional school and modern parents. Some of the negative things she states are of course true of some situations but she states it in a way that she thinks it’s true for the majority of conventional families and schools. It just made her feel less trustworthy to me.
For the record I am a teacher and have plenty of issues with traditional school which is why I’m considering unschooling my kids.
The other part I couldn’t connect with was the life she painted at home with an only child - I have number three on the way so there is no way my home will be able to run anything like hers. Of course it is her story, I’m just saying that there are large parts of the book I was unable to relate to because of this and it makes it more difficult for me to envision my own unschooling household.
Overall I do think it’s worth the read and I really really enjoyed the quotes at the beginning of each chapter!

[Bree · Rating 3 out of 5]

Notes::

Would have been more helpful if this mom had more than one child as it isn't possible to implement her idealistic style any other way

As an unschooling mom myself I loved many of her descriptions of the self directed learning process so it may help those interested in the concept

[Kate · Rating 3 out of 5]

An intriguing story of how one mom views unschooling. Pretty extreme. Interesting to read, though full of claims that I really wanted to ask her to expand on, especially after she hears my brilliant rebuttals. ;)

I definitely agree that kids can learn without being directed and imposed upon. I don't necessarily believe you have to be as "hands-off" as she advocates, and I don't think there's anything wrong with, say, giving your child the information ahead of time that if he rips up his books, he won't be able to read them later (rather than just "letting him" figure it out on his own), OR with prohibiting said ripping.

Kindly, of course, and allowing for the need to be fulfilled in other ways (ripping old magazines or whatever).

I do think you can go too far if you have so many prohibitions that you're constantly interrupting your child's activities and redirecting her play.

But kids can handle the fact that the world has limits--and some of them are going to come from loving parents intervening before the world's consequence would naturally occur.

[Brenda · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a very interesting book! I was unfamiliar with the "un-schooling" movement before now and this book has made me want to learn more.

The book is basically the story of how Valerie Fitzenreiter raised her daughter Laurie with no formal school, not even homeschooling as we know it.

She makes a lot of good points about the importance of respecting the child and the development of self-regulation, but towards the end her story loses some momentum as her conclusions become overly-simplistic. However, it was a quick read and I think a good way to be introduced to the subject of un-schooling. I definitely be reading more on the subject.

[Cheryl · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a beautiful realtionship this author had with her only child. As a mother to an only child, I took a lot of ideas away from this book, and a sense of relief, at times, for the choices I am making.

[Pghgranola · Rating 5 out of 5]

found a book that talks about the "style" of parenting i have been looking for. it's beyond Attachment Parenting; it's in line with Joyful Living & Parenting...

i appreciate this book more than i can say...

[Deborah · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was the more the story of a woman's unschooling journey with her child than a "how-to" book. While enjoyable, I didn't find any information within that I didn't already have.

[Katrin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great concept, hard to implement. A should read for letting go of many conventional anchors in parenting.

[Dayskidfarm]

Well I am just into this book, so far it has been interesting but I am only on page 26.

[Katheryn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nice writing style, easy read but nothing new for me.