Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts

by Deepak Malhotra

Negotiating the Impossible
How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts (without Money or Muscle)

Some negotiations are easy. Others are more difficult. And then there are situations that seem hopeless. Conflict is escalating, people are getting aggressive, and no one is willing to back down. And to top it off, you have little power, money, or other resources to work with. Harvard professor (and negotiation consultant advisor to organizations around the world) Deepak Malhotra shows how to defuse even the most potentially explosive situations and to find success when things seem impossible.

Malhotra illustrates key lessons using behind-the-scenes stories of fascinating real-life negotiations, including drafting the US Constitution, resolving the Cuban Missile Crisis, bringing peace to Northern Ireland, ending bitter disputes in the NFL and NHL, and beating the odds in complex business situations. But he also shows how these same principles and tactics can be applied in everyday life as well, from making corporate deals, negotiating job offers, and resolving business disputes to tackling obstacles in personal relationships and even negotiating with children.

Genres: Business, Nonfiction, Psychology, Leadership, Self Help, Communication, Management

224 pages, Hardcover

First published April 4, 2016

About the author

Deepak Malhotra is a professor at the Harvard Business School. His teaching, research and advisory work is focused on negotiation, deal-making, conflict resolution and diplomacy. In 2020, Deepak was named MBA "Professor of the Year" by Poets & Quants. He has won numerous awards for his teaching & research, including the HBS Faculty Award, and has been twice selected by Harvard MBA students to give the end-of-year speech to the graduating class. In 2014, Deepak was listed as one of the "world's best business school professors" under the age of 40.

Deepak is also an award-winning and bestselling author. His latest book (and debut novel), The Peacemaker's Code, will be published in February 2021. His previous books include, Negotiating the Impossible, Negotiation Genius, and I Moved Your Cheese.

Outside HBS, Deepak is a trainer, consultant, and advisor to firms & CEOs across the globe, and an advisor to governments that are trying to negotiate an end to protracted & intractable armed conflicts.

You can follow Deepak on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Prof_Malhotra

Reviews

[Tigran Mamikonian · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve bought this book per recommendation of my Harvard friends in HBS campus, who were impressed by the professor Deepak course on Negotiations. The book is really fantastic. I read it in a couple of weeks, but was analyzing for more than a month...

The theme of negotiations is one of my favorites so I couldn’t miss this book. From the very first pages I liked the book very much. The book was in a very resonating idea: “… do not harry to use muscle or throwing money at the problem - negotiate better!”.
Deepak mentions every time that “… negotiations are fundamentally bout human interactions… and the key is to understand how we might engage with other human beings in a way that leads to better understandings and agreements."

Some things never change: the need for all sides to declare victory is at least as old as recorded history itself.

Author is splitting the negotiation aspects (Powers) and tools in 3 big areas (author refers to this as “three crucial levers that negotiators usually ignore, underestimate, or mismanage, especially when they are accustomed to thinking of power in terms of money and muscle":
1/ Framing
2/ Process
3/ Empathy

In each of the Powers there are 6-7 cases presented illustrating background and the specific tools used. Below you will find principles in each of the above mentioned areas, in total 91 principle.

Read the review further here...
https://www.evernote.com/l/ABZBa_m7iN...

[Denis Vasilev · Rating 5 out of 5]

Академичный взгляд на переговоры. В оснрвном исторические примеры, а не реальные бизнес истории, хотя они тоже есть. Стоит прочитать, школы переговоров разные, хорошо когда можно выбрать по вкусу

[Anirudh Ramanathan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant book; I highly recommend it.
It is an in-depth study of so many different kinds of conflict - from wars, to corporate boardrooms to venture capital. From hundreds of anecdotes, it draws actionable insights that one can put to use in everyday life to become more effective negotiators.

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This one was okay. I am often skeptical of books about business — they end up reading like a mash-up of anecdotes without any repeatable strategies of how to think or first principles of how to approach conflict.

Some chapters were helpful to me: Chapter two about the power of framing / constructing mutually satisfactory royalty rates is something I can apply immediately. In general, though, I’d say I’m coming away with some stories that represent interesting perspectives to keep in mind, like thinking in terms of aggregate value creation for all parties rather than your individual best position, but nothing groundbreaking. I did enjoy the historical examples in here (negotiations to end the Cuban Missile Crisis and the Vietnam War).

[Ali · Rating 5 out of 5]

There are a few books with great tactical advise for you to take away for your daily life. It could be either for your own personal relationships to business dealings. Highly recommend this book for everyone to read.

This book shows that there is more to negotiation that muscle and money. It show cases the power of framing, following the process and lastly empathy.

“These include many of the ideas we have considered throughout the book—for example: control the frame, be mindful of the optics, help the other side save face, have a process strategy, negotiate process before substance, normalize the process, lower the bar for progress, stay at the table, empathize, create slack, work the whole body, map out the negotiation space, seek greater understanding, create value, and so on. What you should do in any one situation will ultimately be a judgment call, but that judgment will be much more sound if you keep these basic principles in mind.”

[Michael Burnam-Fink · Rating 4 out of 5]

I tend to take the same approach to negotiation that Bruce Willis did in The Fifth Element. Not to surprise anybody, but it hasn't worked very well. So when I saw a short article by the author exploring how to build an exit ramp for Trump supporters after the 2016 election, I figured that I should read this book.

Malhotra offers 89 principles based on his years of experience as a professional business negotiator, and drawing from historical examples, and divided into categories of framing, process, and empathy. The top level insights are to develop a framing that allows all sides to claim victory, to create a process that allows flexibility while maintaining credibility (never make ultimatums), and to see the perspectives of the other parties.

I think that his advice is useful in finding net-positive outcomes, even in the face of seemingly impossible challenges. However, I was left with questions about the limits of negotiation (there are some), and the proper mindset of a negotiator.

[Terry Ozanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Is this the only book on negotiation you need to read? No.
First book you should read? No.
Will it change my life? Maybe not.

This is, however a good bunch of principles and examples for negotiation.

I would also recommend “negotiation Genius” also co-authored by Deepak. I would recommend reading Negotiation Genius first.

Both books are heavy on examples. I find examples very useful & hopefully these (with another listen or two) will come to mind when negotiating in every day life. And negotiation of contracts.

Other books I recommend on negotiation are Getting to Yes and Never Split the Difference. To me, they all offer great insight into the nature and people side of negotiation (especially Never Split the Difference).

Yes, they cover some similar ground I am happy to read the common threads and differences in techniques as wide as the topics of negotiations.

Definitely worth a read.

[EMGEE · Rating 3 out of 5]

Written in a similar fashion to “Getting To Yes,” but slightly more inviting due to the handful of interesting historical examples. Decent book on the subject.

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Objectively identical proposals can be made more or less attractive simply by how they are presented.

Control the frame of the negotiation in order to make it seem like a collaborative problem-solving session rather than a adversarial debate.

Always educate the other side at the beginning of the discussion about the limits of what you can offer and about the areas where you have more or less flexibility.

When people are stuck negotiating over only one divisive issue, and there are no other interests involved, it becomes hard for them to make concessions without feeling they have lost and the other side has won.

Pay attention to the optics of the deal. It’s not just the substance of what you offered that matters, but how it looks to your negotiating partners and to their audience.

Write their victory speech for them. Think about how they can possibly say yes to what you are proposing and still declare victory. If you cannot think of a way that they can frame the agreement as a win, you may be in trouble.

The safer you make it for the other party to tell you the truth, the more likely they are to do so. The best way to make it safe is to show them, through your actions, that you do not exploit every advantage you see. Build a reputation for rewarding transparency and not exploiting their moments of weakness.

Avoid divisive, one-issue negotiations. When there is only one issue on the table, and it is not easy to see how both sides can get what they want, you have a problem. Bring other issues to the table so that each side can walk away with something. It is easier for my kids to agree on which television show they want to watch on Friday and Saturday if they discuss both days at the same time rather than on separate occasions.

If I’m negotiating a complex business deal and somebody tries to negotiate on one issue in isolation, I will usually shift the conversation to include other issues. There are many ways to do this. I can simply say that my position on price depends on where we are on other terms, so we need to discuss those issues as well before we try to finalize the price. Never let one issue become too prominent. Educate your audience about how to measure success, and limit the amount of attention given away to one issue.

Many people make decisions based on the answer to the following question: what does a person like me do in a situation like this? Leverage social proof to boost the appropriateness of your proposal.

The party that drafts the initial version of the agreement or process gains leverage.

Don’t apologize for your offer. When faced with an objection on price, say something such as, “I think what you’re wondering is, how is it that despite having this price we have so many people lining up to buy our product? What kind of value are we delivering that allows us to win so many deals over our competitors? I’m happy to have that conversation.” Focus on value.

Early in the relationship, find low-cost opportunities to create the right frame for the relationship.If the existing frame of discussion is this advantageous, seek to reframe as soon as possible.

It is important to align expectations regarding where you are in the process. Ensure early and often that there is an agreement about what has been accomplished and what the path ahead looks like.

Today’s conflicts are often the result of how we conducted and concluded past negotiations.

Stay at the table, especially after failed negotiations, to sustain relationships. If you are not at the table, you’re on the menu.

Label your concessions. Even genuine acts of kindness and wisdom can be interpreted as weakness or incompetence.

We get stuck on process because of inadequate preparation, wanting a perfect process, or wanting to much flexibility. To get unstuck, agree to a process that can be revised, or start negotiating substance in parallel with process.

Resisting unfair demands on substance is easier if you earlier pushed back on unfairness in process.

Be the first mover in establishing the right process: shape the terms of future engagement.

safeguard your credibility by following through on your commitments, even the small ones

Empathy is needed most with people who seem to deserve it the least. The more intolerable their behavior, the greater the potential benefit of understanding it.

It is crucial for dealmakers to investigate what factors other than sheer incompetence or evil intentions might motivate the other party to behave in a matter that seems aggressive, unfair, unethical or irrational.

If someone says something like, “we can’t possibly do X, I might respond with the following: I can understand how, given where things stand today, this would be difficult for you to do.” Reframe ultimatums. By rephrasing ultimatums using less rigid language, you make it easier for the other side to back down later.

Sometimes the best response to a deep rooted perspective is to yield to it: understand it, adopted, and re-purpose it to advance your position.

There is something quite compelling about being able to demonstrate to somebody that your demands remain legitimate, “even if we accept your preferred logic for how to approach the problem.”

The outcome you achieve will be a function of how carefully you consider the roles of all (including those not present) parties that are affecting a negotiation

Evaluate not only the relationship that all parties have with each other but also the relationship each has with all other parties.

Map out the negotiation space. The negotiation space consists of all parties that are relevant to the negotiation. By relevant I mean one of two things: any party that can influence this deal, and any party that is influenced by the deal. If there are parties that can influence the deal, I will want to consider whether, when, and in what capacity we or others might benefit from bringing them in to the process or keeping them out. If there are parties that are influenced by the deal we are negotiating, I also want to keep an eye on them, because they are likely to have an incentive to make moves that could impact our strategy and outcomes.

When reaching an agreement seems like a distant hope and nothing you can do today will guarantee success, it is useful to instead think about how you can improve positioning and create option value.

Ask people to imagine a world in which the seemingly impossible actually happens. Then ask them to paint a picture of what the world would look like.

Empathy extends the set of your options.

Prepare your audience for your arguments instead of preparing your arguments for your audience.

Avoid asking for sacred concessions as a precondition to engagement.

[Angad Kumar Baranwal · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the best books on negotiation, I have read so far. The diversity of cases that the author has used is truly differentiator.

[RYAN PHAM · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have managed to survive tax season and I quickly managed to finish Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts (Without Money or Muscle) after all my work obligations. Granted, I am a little peeved that it took me so long to finish this book, but at least the reading speed was enjoyable. It was one of the rarer books that I actually enjoyed and my mind actually forced my reading speed to slow down to a crawl to take in all the information. That does not happen very often nowadays. It's always a fantastic experience when it does happen though. Anyways, I keep overthinking this email and have been mentally re-writing it in my head over the last few days, so I am just going to write and try not to overthink right now. The review will turn out alright. I just have to believe in the process of getting better at writing by simply writing more.

Structure
I loved the structure of the book. It managed to highlight the key points of the book and then hammered the lessons home with stories. I do not understand why some books find it really difficult to highlight their main points like this. Also, the summary of the key points sans the stories really helped me put this email together.

As for the main content of the book, I really liked the sections on the power of process and the power of empathy.

The Power of Process - How the EU and NATO Promote Democracy
So my understanding of the EU and NATO comes from educational videos on YouTube, well that and the book Dictators Without Borders: Power and Money in Central Asia. Generally, the reason that Central Asia was not able to become a liberal democracy like Central and Eastern Europe is due to the lack of multinational organizations like the EU and NATO that will consistently incentivize countries to become more democratic. It takes years to join either organization and with the EU, you have to open all the EU chapters, bring your country into compliance with all the chapters, have all the chapters closed, and then gain unanimous support before getting accepted into the EU. Before the book, I did not understand the difference between the process and substance of a negotiation and how you have to safely navigate both to have a successful negotiation. I kind of understand now why EU and NATO talks stall with certain countries (due to rule of law and corruption concerns) and how the European countries have a process strategy to stall until those countries shape up.

The Power of Empathy - Vietnam Learns to Communicate to Other Countries
So this section of the book basically solved a puzzle for me that I have been thinking about for the last few years. After reading Flying Blind: Vietnam's Decision to Join ASEAN, I was able to see Vietnam in the aftermath of the Vietnam War. Their leadership, led by the extremely ideological Le Duan, was feeling somewhat triumphant after defeating the American ally, South Vietnam. They then spread their version of Indochinese Communism to Cambodia and Laos. Well with Cambodia, they took down the Khmer Rouge in the middle of a genocide, installed Hun Sen as leader, and used their leverage over him to get an extremely advantageous deal over their shared contested border. While the Philippines at first congratulated Vietnam, it was brought back into line by the other ASEAN states who harshly criticized Vietnam for its invasion of Cambodia. One of the most outspoken was Thailand, who for centuries used Cambodia as a buffer state between it and Vietnam. With Vietnam occupying Cambodia and installing a Vietnamese-friendly leader, a battle-hardened ideological enemy was on Thailand's doorstep. Meanwhile, China invaded Vietnam in the Sino-Vietnamese War, in response to Vietnam's invasion of Cambodia. (The reason behind the invasion was the Sino-Soviet split. Basically China and Cambodia promoted Maoist Communism and the Soviet Union and Vietnam promoted Soviet Communism.) Vietnam was baffled by the fact that everyone was condemning it for invading Cambodia and stopping a genocide, meanwhile Chinese leader Deng Xiaopeng got away with invading a Soviet ally by telling Russia that the invasion was a limited engagement designed to teach Vietnam a lesson and some of the only pushback he got was from Jimmy Carter who warned him not to do it. After realizing that by actually communicating their intentions and negotiating with other countries, you can get better results, Vietnam then started to re-engage with the world. Since the extremely ideological Le Duan was in charge and if I have my timeline correct, they started by trying to live up to their Domino Theory reputation and tried to spread Communism into other Southeast Asian countries but stopped when they realized that all the Communists in other Asian countries tended to be Maoists instead of their preferred flavor of Indochinese Soviet Communists. They were eventually invited to join ASEAN, since the ASEAN countries thought that they could promote peace and regional growth by bringing Vietnam in, since Vietnam would also bring Cambodia and Laos in as well. Vietnam in response threatened to invade the ASEAN countries, since Vietnam saw ASEAN as a US puppeted organization. The ASEAN countries did not respond to this ultimatum for the longest time and pretended that it did not happen. They knew that Vietnam lacked the manpower to successfully invade since it lost too many soldiers in the Vietnam War to actually mount an invasion. For the longest time, I did not understand why they did not try to talk Vietnam out of the ultimatum until I read the book and realized that oftentimes you do not want to acknowledge an ultimatum, since to do so would kind of push the other party into making a decision between doing what is smart and saving face. Eventually Le Duan dies and is replaced by Nguyen Van Linh (the Vietnamese Gorbachev). It starts researching ASEAN and finds out:

1. Vietnam is not that different from other ASEAN members. Even though it is a Communist dictatorship, the other members of ASEAN tended to be dictatorships or autocracies too.
2. The other countries of ASEAN are also concerned with staying in power and see economic growth as a way to keep the masses placated. One way of achieving it is through international trade and better trade relations with other Southeast Asian countries.
3. Even though some ASEAN countries are allies of America, they are not necessarily ideological bedfellows or friends of America. They would love it if America stopped talking about human rights. A benefit of being in ASEAN is having a collective voice in telling America to keep its human rights ideas to itself.

Nguyen Van Linh's Vietnam seems to like the deal with ASEAN, changes its economy, opens up the country, and joins ASEAN. Eventually, the partners it makes through ASEAN and the reforms it undergoes on its own help pave the way to a reconciliation with the US. In hindsight, if Le Duan wanted to keep Vietnam's Communist ideology pure, he probably should not have invaded South Vietnam and absorbed all the pro-US capitalists that basically slowly dragged Vietnam into ASEAN and into reconciliation talks with America. I mean Nguyen Van Linh was a Southern Vietnamese Communist. He probably would not have been put in charge of all of Vietnam if it was never annexed. Vietnam walked a weird road to learning empathy. It basically learned how to feel emotions again by consuming a neighboring polity, but I guess you are what you eat.

[Sean Liu · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best negotiating book I've read, providing principles and frameworks you can apply to not just formal negotiations, but all human interactions. Deadly stuff.

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The importance of helping the other side back down - When someone stubbornly insists on making demands you cannot possibly meet early in a negotiation, it is a sign you have failed to set the appropriate expectations for what is possible. This can lead to the other side to ask for concessions that are true deal breakers for you. This is why you must educate the other side at the outset of what you can offer and the areas where you have flexibility.

When this occurs, major concessions will need to occur in order to avoid a deadlock. THe problem is how to get the other side to admit that they initially asked for more than what is reasonable, and to back down and accept what is actually possible.

Pay attention to the optics of the deal. It's not just the substance of what you offer that matters, but how it looks to your negotiating partners and their audience. One exercise you can do to empathize is to "write their victory speech for them."

Avoid negotiating on a single divisive issue. Add issues or link separate one-issue negotiations. E.g. to address a negotiation around price, you can say "my position on price depends on where we are on other terms, so we need to discuss those issues as well before we finalize the price." Or make a package that includes terms other than price and clarify the stated price assumes the terms included. You can also present multiple offers, each with a different price and terms so the other side can understand how the issues are related and how much flexibility I have.

The logic of social proof tells us that many choices people make are based on how they answer one simple question: what does a person like me do in a situation like this?

Framing an option as UNIQUE might make it more intriguing but less attractive. It is often better to present your proposal as the default option to boost its appropriateness.

Be the party that drafts the initial version of the agreement or process to gain leverage by assuming the default.

Negotiate process before substance - ensure early and often that there is an agreement about the details (how long are negotiations to last, who will be involved, who will be the key decision makers, who will draft first proposal, etc.) and the path forward. Normalize this process so other parties know what to expect and are less likely to overreact to doubts, delays, or disruptions.

When you negotiate can be more important than what, e.g. the NHL players walking out on the CBA before the season started (ineffective) vs. before playoffs started (very effective) when the owners had more to lose than the players (asymmetry).

Nothing is agreed until everything is agreed. Everything is on the table until the final deal is signed, nothing is irrevocable until that point.

Empathy is needed most with those who seem to deserve it least.

Do not confuse empathy with sympathy. The goal is to understand what is causing someone to behave a certain way; it does not mean you have to approve their goals or actions. You must be able to explain their behavior, not justify it.

Ignore ultimatums. My own rule for dealing with ultimatums (“We will never”, “You must…”, “X is impossible”) is to ignore them. I will not ask the other side to clarify what they meant. I will not ask them to repeat what they said. Instead, I will behave as if I never heard them say it. The reason is that a day, week or month later, the other side may come to the realization that what they once said they could never do is something they must do. When that day comes, the last thing I want is for them to remember having said they would never do it - or for them to worry I will remember them having said it! It will be much easier for them to change course and avoid sticking to their earlier ultimatum if it were never afforded any importance or attention by me. I do not want to be in a position where I am forcing the other side to choose between sticking to their ultimatum and doing what is best for them (and for me).

Think trilaterally - how do third parties influence the interests, constraints, and alternatives at the table?
Your analysis of third parties should take into account the static, dynamic, and strategic possibilities:
1. Static assessment - how does the existence of third parties influence the interests, constraints, alternatives, and perspectives of all parties in the negotiation?
2. Dynamic assessment - how is third-party influence changing over time? That is, are the other sides alternatives improving or worsening? Are constraints tightening or loosening? How are interests evolving?
3. Strategic assessment - how might we engage with third parties to influence the negotiation? Might they be willing to put pressure on the other side? Would a deal with a third party change the power dynamics in our favor?

[John · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book gives a solution that includes three parts: framework, process, empathy. It's really very learned. From business to politics, it is relevant. Think about it in detail if you can use it on a daily basis.

Let me talk about the framework first. It talks about labor negotiations in the NBA. As the richest wage earner in the world, it is difficult for NBA players and bosses to agree on salary. Later, a comprehensive direction was given, including three forms of comprehensive versions. Although it is a half in essence, everyone is willing to accept it because of the different frameworks. There was another story about salary increase. The doctor asked the dean to raise his salary. The dean said that we had no money and the hospital was losing money! It didn't work out at the start-something went wrong with the framework. Later the doctor talked directly about what would happen if he went to another hospital, and what value he could bring to the organization, lastly the he made it for a salary rise.

Let me talk about the process. It is a good thing to avoid some problems through the process. What impressed me the most here is the negative example. During the Vietnam War truce negotiations, people had tossed about how to set the table for months. The President of the United States personally asked to make things progress. So embarrassing.

Finally, empathy. The Cuban missile crisis almost lost control. It seemed that the United States forced the Soviet Union back, but in fact there were some concessions behind it. The important thing is that both sides can consider the issue from the perspective of the other side. At that time, the United States had several overseas military bases, and the missiles could directly hit the Soviet Union. However, the Soviet Union did not have such a base. Several months after the crisis, several bases were withdrawn, and many things can be discussed.

There is nothing that cannot be discussed. Don’t leave the negotiating table, clarify the process, let the other party understand your thoughts, consider the needs from the other party ’s perspective, and think about issues multilaterally.

[Joe · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Negotiating the Impossible" is a self-help book written by Deepak Malhotra that offers practical advice on how to negotiate and resolve seemingly impossible conflicts and deadlocks.

The book presents several key principles for negotiating effectively in difficult situations, including:

Shift the Frame: Look for ways to shift the negotiation frame to create new opportunities for agreement.

Find Leverage: Identify sources of leverage that can be used to break deadlocks and create movement towards resolution.

Build Relationships: Focus on building trust and rapport with the other party to create a more positive and productive negotiation environment.

Uncover and Work with Constraints: Understand and work with the constraints that are preventing resolution.

Be Creative: Be open to creative solutions and think outside the box to find new ways of creating value.

The book also provides practical tools and techniques for applying these principles in a variety of difficult negotiation situations, including hostage situations, political conflicts, and high-stakes business deals.

Overall, "Negotiating the Impossible" offers a practical and insightful approach to negotiating and resolving seemingly impossible conflicts. The book emphasizes the importance of shifting the negotiation frame, finding leverage, building relationships, uncovering and working with constraints, and being creative. It is a great resource for anyone looking to improve their negotiation skills and overcome seemingly impossible obstacles.

[Richard Thompson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I negotiate deals for a living and deal with plenty of difficult situations, so this book hits very close to home for me. Mr. Malhotra discusses how techniques based on framing, process and empathy can be used to find negotiated solutions in situations where the parties are at loggerheads so that no negotiated solution seems possible. Many of his techniques are things that I already do, though I had not thought about them systematically and had no names for them. And then there are some additional things that I had not thought of that may prove useful in the future. It is gratifying to read a book like this and feel validated, and even better when I can learn a new thing or two in the process.

Most negotiation books are terrible. They are often just tips on how to be an asshole. This one was calm, smart and constructive in a way that reminded me of the best negotiation book ever written, "Getting to Yes." I read that one forty years ago, and I still find things that I learned from it to be useful. This one may not have quite that impact, and in any case I don't have another forty years to go, but it was damned good.

At the same time that I found this book, I discovered the Harvard Program on Negotiation. Its website is at https://www.pon.harvard.edu/. They have a lot of interesting free material that seems to be generally in the same vein as this book. I can easily overdose on writings about negotiation, but when I'm ready for another dose of the same medicine, I know where to find it.

[Dio Handoyo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting premise. Follows the common "business book" format of a collection of structured maxims supported with selected anecdotal evidence - hence easy to follow, but not immune to the (also commonly-found) problem of example presented and point being made not perfectly matching.

All in all, rather enjoyable and informative. Nice little caveat at the end which essentially says "these are guidelines, application will differ in each situation". As with everything in life, this is true. However, given the premise on the title of the book, I think it could have been structured in a more applicable manner. While I fully agree with the "Framing, Process, and Empathy" framework, it would've been nice if the book is structured in "steps" - what to do, what to examine, maybe a checklist of some sort - that you can follow if you find yourself facing a deadlock. Perhaps easier than trying to remember a bunch of "guiding principles" while you're managing a live negotiation.

[Scott Wozniak · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is by a deeply experienced negotiator on the tools of high stakes, complicated negotiations.

It was a little more formal that I usually prefer, but it was well written and the stories were really interesting.

Part I focuses on the amazing potential of framing. Effective negotiators know that how you articulate or structure your proposals can be as important as what you are proposing.

Part II focuses on the decisive role of process in determining outcomes. Negotiating the process astutely can be more important than bargaining hard on the substance of the deal.

Part III focuses on the tremendous power of empathy. A dispassionate and methodical approach to understanding the real interests and perspective of all relevant players can help to resolve even the ugliest of conflicts.

If you have hard conversations coming up, this book could make a big difference in how you handle them.

[Piers Blackett · Rating 5 out of 5]

Since apparently impossible situations arise in both private and professional situations, the book could have wide application for many walks of life besides political and business arenas. The keys to resolving conflict are presented by an author with exceptional experience and expertise during his career as an esteemed professor of business administration and an international negotiator. The examples, including historical situations and complex medical dilemmas have a set of tools or principles for resolution even without “muscle or money” and are skillfully described under the triad of framing, process, and empathy in three parts of the book. Since problems often remain and recur at hotspots, it occurred to me more than once that there is scope for early detection, analysis and resolution using what appear to be workable ideas and effective methods but requiring practice and training.

[Linda Vituma · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reizēm jau šķiet jocīgi lasīt grāmatā, kā kāds cits cilvēks apraksta to, ko esi pieredzē atklājis un savā mikro pasaulē jau liec lietā. Bet laikam jau tas nav diezin ko jocīgāk, kā lasot, piemēram, Melody Beattie Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself lasīt par sevi - citā pasaules malā uzrakstītu stāstu par SEVI.
Gribas jau visu kontrolēt, atcerēties un liekt lietā, bet laiks rādīs - kad un ar kādu mērķi šis noderēs.

[Tara Makhmali · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a seasoned negotiator, I found this book to be among the best of the negotiation books I’ve read to date. Some of the case studies are a historical study in war and peace and offer insightful analysis, and the book also contains many case studies involving complex commercial negotiations that are more relevant to many of the thorny, multi-pronged commercial dilemmas that I am familiar with as a certified PMP and non-attorney conflicts coach/case strategist in complex commercial litigation. I’d say this book is one of the better negotiation books for seasoned negotiators, but I also recommend this book to history buffs, business consultants, and dispute-resolution facilitators—the content allows for much parallel thinking and spurs creativity in many workplace settings.

[Harshdeep · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fantastic book from a great negotiator. Worth a re-read.

Book-level : Advanced

Book presents good sets of principles with enough real-life situations around. The three broad sections of power of Framing, Process and Empathy nicely buckets most of the contents.

The incidents of Friends, Taiwan, Cuba Missile Crisis and India USA agreement on Nuclear weapons were are great peace of examples enlightening underneath principles.

On last chapter author nicely sums up entire book by keeping most of gist in once place, along with advice of be respectful of context. A great stuff.

Worth a re-read.

[Siddhartha · Rating 5 out of 5]

“History typically begins the first time I did the right thing or you did the wrong thing - not the other way around” - Negotiating The Impossible

This one garners 5 stars, not in less because of its profound yet simple approach to any negotiation challenges. There are endless tactics and no one is global in solving every negotiation problem - the book admits as such and instead harps on three broad principles - Framing, Process and Empathy, with fascinating real world examples of successful and disastrous negotiations in world history to make its points.

[James · Rating 5 out of 5]

Discusses negotiations from the drafting of the Constitution (James Madison's role was crucial) to the Cuban Missile Crisis to David Schwimmer/Friends cast negotiating a higher raise. For example, each cast member was expendable if they asked for too much money, but Schwimmer argued they all should get the same pay and work collectively on pay negotiations. Each piece of advice is tied into the applications...."Your willingness to incur up-front costs in support of the process sends a credible signal of your commitment to it" (p. 113).

[Klyemann · Rating 2 out of 5]

I can see that this book is based on a course and while I would love that course and it seems fun, it does not translate well into a book.

I would expect more depth from the book, but most of it is just looking at some examples of negotiation in history and anecdotes that may or may not be true.

There are many better books on negotiating out there that go into more details about how, when, and why you should use particular negotiating tactics.

[Lorena Díaz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excelente. No quería aprender de negociaciones porque me parece que existen prácticas muy agresivas, pero con este libro descubrí que puede ser exactamente lo contrario, teniendo a la empatía como centro y no el querer aprovecharse del otro. Sus ejemplos son muy esclarecedores y su resumen al final de cada apartado es sumamente útil. Lo recomiendo para todo aquél que desee aprender a negociar en su vida personal o profesional de manera muy humana y eficaz.

[Alok Kejriwal · Rating 5 out of 5]

A brilliant read with real-world examples to complement the lessons and principles taught

The diversity of case studies is amazing. From the NFL to the soap opera FRIENDS to radio and television in Saudi Arabia, these stories bring a very contextual flavour to the world we live and operate in

A must-read for entrepreneurs, business people and professionals for sure...

[Javier González · Rating 5 out of 5]

Para quienes andamos negociando

Un excelente libro de cabecera para tener en cuenta al iniciar las negociaciones.
Me agradó encontrar recomendaciones concretas ejemplificadas que permiten desarrollar y construir la estrategia de negociación. Muy útil a quienes nos internamos inicialmente a este mundo.

[Cengiz AYDIN · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s hard to remember let alone internalize all strategies and tactics about effective negotiation. Yet it is a reference book to look up what tools are available in your specific case. By the time one should expect o learn the art of negotiation based on science, which is well covered in this book. Worth reading and reflection on it.

[Fred Fontz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Malhotra does a great job of offering insight from historical examples; highlight the best and worse decisions that you'll find in negotiations. It doesn't offer a deep dive into analyzing every move, but provdes great information that offers insight into how you can learn and apply the lessons easily. Definitely worth the read.

[R. · Rating 3 out of 5]

I should preface my review by stating that this is absolutely something I hate reading about or listening to. It is as boring to me as it is important to my work, unfortunately. There were some important things that I took away from it, such as the importance of setting the stage for things with process ahead of substance.

[Alejandro Restrepo Zea · Rating 5 out of 5]

Without muscles or money

I think is a good book for negotiations, ever dealing with human interception will be the most challenging in all contexts and this book teaching through the historical stories how you should do that.