Dealing with a Narcissist: 8 Steps to Raise Self-Esteem and Set Boundaries with Difficult People

by Darlene Lancer

Codependency author and expert Darlene Lancer explains the narcissist’s mind and motives and the personality of their partners. Dealing with a Narcissist reveals the unconscious forces driving their mutual attraction and relationship dynamics and sheds light on the damaging impact narcissists have on their partners and children. This is also workbook with strategies that can improve your self-esteem and help you maintain your self-respect and set boundaries in relationships with addicts, narcissists, or emotionally abusive people.

If you were at first charmed by a narcissist, you soon had to contend with self-centeredness, defensiveness, and escalating criticisms and demands. Trying to satisfy them can feel impossible, and neither stops abuse, nor produces genuine caring and reciprocity. You end up frustrated and hurt that your feelings and needs are dismissed or ignored. Steadily, your self-esteem, confidence, trust, and independence decline in the relationship, as you give up more of yourself.

Whether you want to improve your relationship or are ambivalent about staying or leaving, Dealing with a Narcissist - 8 Steps to Raise Self-Esteem and Set Boundaries will provide clarity and tools to handle interactions with difficult people. You'll strengthen your self-esteem and gain the ability to set boundaries and communicate effectively. Eight steps are recommended with specific exercises and techniques, which are applicable to any relationship with a difficult person—whether passive-aggressive, controlling, abusive, manipulative, or with a borderline or narcissistic personality disorder.

Genres: Psychology, Self Help, Mental Health, Nonfiction

105 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 1, 2015

About the author

I'm a Marriage and Family Therapist and author of "Dating, Loving, and Leaving a Narcissist," "Codependency for Dummies, "Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Free Your True Self," and 7 ebooks: "How to Speak Your Mind - Become Assertive and Set Limits," "Spiritual Transformation in the Twelve Steps," "Freedom from Guilt and Blame - Finding Self-Forgiveness," "Dealing with a Narcissist - 8 Steps to Raise Self-Esteem and Set Boundaries with Difficult People," "Codependency Daily Reflections," "I'm Not Perfect - I'm Only Human," - How to Beat Perfectionism, and "10 Steps to Self-Esteem." PDF's of all ebooks are available on my website and in other formats at online booksellers.

I specialize in relationships, narcissism, and codependency, and have treated individuals and couples for over 35 years. Enjoy articles, blogs, and a Free PDF, "14 Tips for Letting Go," at my site, www.whatiscodependency.com. You can join the journey at www.facebook.com/codependencyrecovery, or follow me on Twitter @darlenelancer, Instagram @darlenelancerLMFT, and Youtube.

Reviews

[Jackie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Do you want to know how to deal with a Narcissist person? Darlene Lancer will give you 8 steps to raise your self-esteem and set boundaries with difficult people. This book is a self help guide that will help you journal questions and answers to help you with people with personality disorders or even finding out how your childhood could be the cause of your failed relationships in adulthood. Darlene Lancer will ask thought provoking questions, give exercises to help you realize if a loved one is a Narcissist person with traits you will know or not after evaluating your own assessments covered in this book. It is suggested to keep a journal while reading this book and that is what I have done. I have also read all of Lancer's books and felt that the co-dependency book is a book you need to read also. I learned that if I grew up as a people pleaser, feeling unlovable, rejected, invisible, unheard and ignored that I am a co-dependent and part Narcissist because of the dysfunctional family life I was raised in. "It can be hard to empathize with Narcissistic people, but they do not choose to be that way, they bear scars from childhood." I have learned more about myself and those around me by reading this book than if I did not. One great lesson is "Don't Take It Personally." If you think you or someone you know is a narcissist person, has boundary issues, relationship issues, or a personality disorder than this book will help you learn how to deal with it in 8 easy steps. © 2015 Jackie Paulson

[Patrick Lotzer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great Book

Its really hard in relationship with a Narcissistic person. It almost seemed like this author was talking about the relationship I was just in. I liked it so much, I'm about to start over and read it again!

[Melinda Mitchell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very insightful

I really liked the descriptions of narcissistic behavior. It is so important to examine how you are co-dependent and how important it is to be responsible for yourself.

[Eva P. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Family Therapy

The book about how to best deal with a narcissist rings true, as so many behaviors are evident in everyday life.
It is an eye opener, and helps readers cope in some way with their partner.

[Frankie · Rating 4 out of 5]

There are several in my family. It was interesting to note that narcissism can be based in insecurity.

[Denise · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don't think I would understand narcissism if this was the first book I read. It's descriptions are too brief. However, it does add to my understanding of narcissism.

It starts by defining narcissism and it's causes, then discusses accommodators and their co-dependency, then boundaries before launching into 8 ways to increase your self-esteem. The chapters on detaching with love to diminish reactivity and being assertive to respond instead of react helped me. Not a lot of anecdotes or personal testimonials, but a lot of lists and activities to bolster your self esteem and care for yourself. Great quiz in the back to determine your level of healthy narcissism vs echoism.

[Monica Benson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finally!

Finally, someone tells us helpful info for when you want to stay in the relationship. I tried these strategies and they saved me and my relationship. We are both so much happier!