Reading through this series, I get the feeling M. Night Shyamalan was deeply inspired by Goosebumps. This book (and the next one especially) exemplify his classic twist ending hullabaloo.
Girl Who Cried Monster is about a girl named Lucy, who talks a lot about monsters (imagine that). She just loves scaring her younger brother Randy with stories about toe-biting monsters and the like. She talks about it so much that her family and friends are frankly tired of her shit, but she still insists on making up ridiculous stories. This becomes a big problem for Lucy when she actually witnesses a REAL monster, and nobody will believe her.
Let me explain. See Lucy hangs around all summer doing nothing (like kids should) and her parents have strong armed her into becoming a "Reading Ranger". This is a reading program where kids have to read a book every week and the meet with the creepy librarian to discuss it and get a big gold star. Some of the selected titles include Huck Finn, Frankenstein, and Anne of Green Gables (some of that is pretty impressive 12 year old reading). The librarian Mr. Mortman is described like a suspected pederast, a sweaty balding fat man who just loves wearing turtlenecks. One fateful day, Lucy forgets her Rollerblades (capitalized much like the Dumpster of book 7), and returns to the library after hours. Here she witnesses Mr. Mortman turn into a monster, and eat some flies (scary!)
She bails out of there, and runs to tell her parents who of course don't buy that crap. Lucy tries to enlist her friend Aaron to prove Mr. Mortman is a monster, but despite Lucy witnessing Mr. Mortman's scary monster transformation again, nobody believes her. She decides to try to get a picture of him as a monster, but forgets about her camera having a flash and alerts him to her presence. Luckily he's blinded and she manages to run away again. When Lucy gets home she begs her parents to let her develop her film so they can see the Mr. Monsterman, but of course he doesn't appear in the photo (classic monster!).
Fed up, Lucy decides to stalk poor Mr. Mortman to his house, along with Aaron. She climbs up into a wheelbarrow so she can spy through his window, and proceeds to fall out of it and get banged up. Mr. Mortman catches her at his house, but she manages to come up with a great excuse ("I was looking through your window because I didn't think you were home!"), because knocking on someone's door isn't the first thing you do when you arrive at somebody's house. Aaron of course bailed long ago, and is basically useless as he didn't actually witness the monstering.
Lucy's parents insist that she continue Reading Rangering, and of course she refuses because Mr. Mortman is a super scary monster when she's in that empty dark library. Maybe this book is a metaphor. No dice for Lucy, and she goes to talk about her latest book when Mr. Mortman locks her in the library. He reveals he knows she knows his secret, and is going to fuck up her shit. This leads to a chase sequence, culminating in one of the greatest sequences in literary history presented here without alteration.
"In that moment of terror, I remembered the one thing that librarians hate most: having cards from the card catalogue spilled on the floor! Mr. Mortman was a monster- but he was also a librarian".
Pretty heavy stuff. Saved due to card catalogue, Lucy runs into Aaron who fortunately was hiding in the library too. Instead of asking why he didn't help her not get killed, Lucy is excited to have someone else to back her up on the whole monster thing with her parents. They rush to her house, and reveal Mr. Mortman is a monster, to which her parents finally believe them and decide the best course of action is to invite him over for dinner (naturally).
Lucy is terrified, and a few days later Mr. Mortman shows up dressed like a used car salesman ("lime-green trousers, bright yellow short-sleeved sport shirt"). He gives them some flowers, and after a few bon mots from Lucy's parents Mr. Mortman asks what's for dinner. They explain that he is, and proceed to eat him in less than a minute, "bones and all". Unfortunately Lucy and Randy couldn't join in, as they don't have their fangs yet. Thus concludes another crazy adventure.
Random Thoughts: Wait, what? Where the hell did that come from? I like to think that Mr. Stine was going for the whole "man is the real monster" allegory thing here, considering the references to Frankenstein but I feel like that's giving him a lot of credit. There's no clue of any kind regarding the ending, just boom we've gone from suburbanites having tea to full on homicide/cannibalism. And yes it's cannibalism since technically they're both monsters. Apparently they didn't want another monster moving in on their turf, so they iced him.
Lucy is pretty obnoxious as per usual GB main character, and I feel bad for her brother who gets a lot of abuse from her. As a kid I don't remember liking this one too much, and the ending soured me then as well.
Overall this book is pretty boring for the most part, though it has a ridiculous intro with a few great lines
"I don't know why it's called Timberland Falls. There are a few forests outside of town, but no one cuts the trees down for timber. And there aren't any falls. So why Timberland Falls? It's a mystery".
"I guess that's why no one believed me until it was too late, and the monster was right in my own house. But I'd better not tell the ending of my story at the beginning".
I wish you had Lucy, then it would have saved me several hours of my life.