Amanda Bright @ Home

by Danielle Crittenden

Maybe you know Amanda. Maybe you are Amanda. Whoever you are, you will love Amanda. An important, shrewd, and laugh-out-loud funny debut novel that answers the What happens when Bridget Jones or the Sex and the City girls get married and have babies? Nothing ever prepared Amanda for not her elite college degree, not her brainy friends, not her mother the feminist heroine. At age 35, she finds herself at home with two children, mopping spills and singing The Itsy-Bitsy Spider. It doesn't help that her husband's face is all over national television or that her best friend is dating a billionaire or that every woman she knows seems to have a plastic surgeon and an interior decorator. While everyone else is racing up the fast track, it's getting hard for Amanda to remember why she left work in the first place. Set amidst the glamor and power of boom-time Washington, D.C., Amanda Bright is a novel about status and ambition marriage and jealousy and a woman's struggle to discover the things that matter most. Amanda Bright@Home will become an anthem for a generation of women that is learning that success is not always found at the office."

Genres: Fiction, Chick Lit

336 pages, Paperback

First published May 28, 2003

Reviews

[Trish · Rating 1 out of 5]

Grade: F

First, it's boring. It begins with a premise much like that of Perrotta's Little Children: Amanda Bright, former career woman, is now a suburban mommy. While her husband spends each day in the company of adults at the Department of Justice, she spends each day with Ben and Sophie, ages 5 and 3. While Perrotta's book enlivens this simple premise with believable, engaging characters, Crittenden's book becomes a tedious slog before the fifth chapter. Not very much happens, what does happens isn't interesting, and it isn't even happening to interesting people.

Nor are the people precisely depicted. The characters are fuzzy and vague and inconsistent and implausible and didactic. That's Reason No. 2 That Danielle Crittenden's Book Sucks.

Let's take Amanda, since we're going to be stuck with her and her moronic angst for 319 pages. Amanda used to have a career, but beyond a few wistful glances that she tosses at her former wardrobe of 80s power suits, she doesn't seem to miss anything specific about her career. She recalls that her co-workers were nice people, but she doesn't look back with longing upon any aspect of the work she did with them. Work at which she was, allegedly, quite competent.

I'm not saying she has to miss her job just because she's now an at-home mom. But if she purports to miss her job, then she ought to miss something more substantial than her old clothes. If she's only going to miss the clothes, than she needs to be consistently portrayed as the type of woman who sort of drifted into her career for reasons of fashion rather than being portrayed as a serious-minded woman, which is how she's portrayed elsewhere.

More reasons Amanda is a stupid character: she purportedly has a happy, albeit settled, marriage, yet at the faintest hint that a woman is flirting with her husband she develops an obsessive and irrational jealousy (this in spite of the fact that the author's own description of the scene Amanda witnesses makes it clear that the innocent husband is pulling away from the woman's attempts to engage him -- and all she's doing is trying to touch his arm at a party, she's not hiking her skirt over her head and inviting him to bend her over the banquet table.) In additional to Amanda's absurd jealousy -- a plot contrivance if ever I had one forced upon me -- she and her spouse don't seem to talk. He comes home at night only to wolf down some food, belt back a scotch, and collapse into bed; they exchange updates on the kids and he delivers occasional dispatches about work, but Amanda never reveals any of he thoughts or feelings to her husband. Stupid, stupid marriage. Listen, if you can't tell the man you've been married to for nine years that you're feeling a bit bored and frustrated at home and aren't sure what you really want to do with your life, and if he can't hear that without giving you the silent treatment for days (yeah, Bob is just an unpleasant and stupid as his wife. Thanks, Danielle.), then you shouldn't be married.

It's an unfortunate collision of the author's doctrinaire intentions and her distinct lack of skill: she can only tell us, repeatedly, that Amanda and Bob have a good marriage; she's incapable of showing us any evidence that would support that assertion. She claims that the night Amanda and Bob met they talked for hours, but she can't write one single loving, plausible conversation between the two of them.

But she can't pull that off, because Danielle Crittenden doesn't really know who Amanda is or care about her, except to the extent that she can use Amanda to preach her particular brand of backlash anti-feminism.

Yeah, that's reason No. 3 the book sucks. It's so clearly designed to push Crittenden's agenda (and this is the woman who wrote What Our Mothers Didn't Tell Us: Why Happiness Eludes The Modern Woman, which wears its bias right on its cover, because who the hell is Danielle Crittenden to tell "modern women" that we're not happy?)

Crittenden does her best to make the sole declared feminist in the book, Amanda's mother, an unpleasant character (although I found her much less distasteful than Amanda). Crittenden also assumes that marriage and parenthood are the goals of every woman, including Amanda's friend Susie, a stunning woman who on one page is a manipulative player and on the next displays the ignorant naivete of a duped teen-ager. At 35, Susie is portrayed as a fading beauty, nearly over the hill and desperate to land a mand. Because in Danielle Crittenden's world, it's still 1947. Or 1928. I don't know what the fuck year it is to her, but in my century, this all sounds like bullshit. If Susie is so ambitious and so attractive and so accustomed to manipulating men and so disinterested in children -- which is the set up Crittenden gives us -- then why does Amanda react thusly to Susie's relationship with a much older billionaire:

"Marrying a man in his sixties--even a vigorous man--would demand sacrifices of Susie for which money would not compensate. Would he consent to more children? How long could Susie enjoy being his wife before she became his nurse?"

At first I just thought, "Oh, how funny. Because Amanda is married and has children, she assumes that's what Susie wants, even though it's clear to the rest of us that Susie isn't the marrying kind. I wonder if Danielle is going to give Amanda a jolt by showing her that other woman have other desires and dreams and that marriage and family aren't the only choices?" But no. Suddenly, Susie is the marrying kind, in spite of the fact that her billionaire is already married. She's persuaded that he'll leave his wife based on the fact that he "said he could honestly imagine falling in love with me." That any 35-year-old woman would construe that line, after only a handful of dates, as a sign to pick out her china pattern is ludicrous. It's an especially ludicrous assumption to plant in the mind of Susie, who we've been told has been around the block dating wealthy, powerful men since she was a wee slip of a thing. Danielle just seems to think that all women, other than Danielle, are fucking stupid.

There are so many more insanely stupid things about this book. I'm still tempted to go through each and every one, but that could take a lot of time, and it's basically too late. I mean, if I had been at Warner Books when someone greenlit this crap, maybe I could have done so good. But now, to quote When Harry Met Sally, it's "out there."

So to sum up, Danielle Crittenden sucks. She thinks we stupid modern women would be happier if we'd just stay at home with some babies and let our husbands cope with the working world, for which we are so ill-equipped (witness how Amanda, in spite of her alleged brains and previous experience, is easily duped by a newspaper reporter -- yeah, she manages to throw a casual elbow at the media, too. And she tosses in some random and unnecessary condescension toward anyone laboring to do anything creative that doesn't involve toddlers and popsicle sticks by inventing a stay-at-home father character who is a writer of absurdly bad plays. At least, Danielle says the play is bad, and Amanda thinks the guy is a joke, and obviously any man who eschews the role of primary breadwinner has to be a loser, right? I feel a big "AAARGH" of frustration coming on.).

So, to really sum up. Danielle Crittenden sucks. Her book sucks. Go away, Danielle Crittenden. Stay home with your three kids and importune us no longer.

[Dawn McNary · Rating 5 out of 5]

Despite the many not so great reviews..this book is spot on..and speaks to the many issues of the unwilling SAHM. When I stumbled on this book it was during a ..story time for my youngest..so in between picking out Amelia Bedelia or Dr Seuss for the umpteenth time I would always try to find at least one grown up book I could sneak time to read during the week! I was not looking to change the world, or learn a new skill. I simply wanted to read a book that was about anything..and be entertained. The fact that this book also happened to be about the same issues and questions I was facing at that point in life made it a bonus! Simply put...if you are looking for a book to change the world..look elsewhere. However, if you are looking for a fun read that let's you laugh with her and then at yourself...go for it and enjoy!

[Genevieve · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have owned this book for years, but only read it now (after opening a random box labeled "books" in the basement!). At first I liked that the setting was DC, but then I started getting frustrated at how the main character kept referring to her Woodley Park neighborhood as run down.

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good story, quick read.

[Judyleach · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was waiting for a point to this book and couldn’t find one

[Stefanie Jones · Rating 3 out of 5]

""

[Becky · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book gave a good portrayal of the stresses that women and mothers in todays society face with discovering their identity. I do wish it gave more solutions though :).

------------------------------------------
"Amanda felt her eyes burning. It all seemed so hopeless. She was hopeless. Her life was hopeless. Amanda swallowed. 'It's just so much to get through again. Honestly, I don't know that I can face it.' 'I know, hon. I wish I could be there. It must be terrible difficult for you,' Liz sais soothingly. 'But listen, one of these days, you're going to realize that motherhood is not something to be gotten through. It is not some fleeting phase of life - it is your life, and it will be, for a long, long tim, whether or not you choose to have this third baby. The sooner you recognise that, the better it will be.'"

"There would be time later, she asured herself, for dreams that reached farther - and yet those dreams did begin to take shape in her mind....It was impossible to consider it now, of course, and Amanda kept the vision to herself; but she found herslef looking to it, like a beacon on some distant horizon flashing through fog.
Sometimes that fod was dense. Often she would awake in the middle of th enight, tormented by doubts. The darkness, rather than cloaking her worries, relentlessly exposed all the cracks and fault lines of her daytime logic. It marched out the exhibits of her life thus far: thirty-five - nearly thirty-six - and what did she have to show for it? What sort of return would there be at the end of all these years of investment in her children?"

"One day Amanda wondered wearily, 'Is every mother wondering all the time about whether she's doing the right thing?' Liz responded with a teacher's enthusiasm when a slow learner finally masters a lesson. 'My point exactly! You're allowing yourself to be victimized by our anti-mother culture. You know in your heart what you're doing is right. So stop thinking about it.' 'I try, Liz. I just wish sometimes that I felt more comfortable in my own life.'"

"As Amanda rubbed Samantha's back, it occurred to her that each one of her children had taught her something new. Her first child had taught her how to be a mother. Her second child had taught her how to be a family. And her third - what would this third baby teach her? Maybe she hoped, how to be a mother and still be herself.
She did not know how she was going to do it...And what she wanted dearly, was for her life to feel normal. Had other generations of women doubted themselves like this? Maybe. Maybe every generation has felt that it had to reinvent the wheel. After al, the road keeps changing."

[bookyeti · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars

Well-written, brimming with sharp wit and authentic characterization, Amanda Bright @ Home was a mediocre light read.

Despite the fact that I am not a mother myself, I could sympathize with many of Bright’s plights including her innate craving to feel needed and significant. (I think, deep down we all do.) As the main character - all too human and ‘real’ – Amanda is instantly likable and true-to-life.

What hit close to home was Amanda’s frustration at being surrounded by superficial women of the community who seemed to sharpen their claws at the sight of simple, intelligent, Bohemian Amanda - an unexpected threat to their ‘perfect’ not-so-perfect pampered realm. In a community reeling with sprawling mansions, status symbols, face-lifts, and shallow fashion magazine ‘perfect’ ladies - down-to-earth Amanda struggles to fit in, and at the same time desperately attempts to find her place in the world - endeavoring to balance motherhood with the secular workforce she yearns to be a part of.

Where I harbor no major criticism of this touching bit of fiction, I must admit that at times I felt that the main character was a bit too envious of her peers’ situation, listing off their assets in stark contrast, overly emphasizing what she didn’t have – almost bordering on whining at times. However, this is not atypical if one is in an unhappy situation and is surrounded by negative feelings and self-depreciating thoughts. In this case, I suppose the old cliché applies: “the grass is always greener on the other side.”

Since I am not a mother myself, I feel somewhat ill-qualified to give this book the review it deserves. However I can definitely say that my admiration for a mother’s many sacrifices has only deepened after reading this enjoyable book.

[momruncraft · Rating 2 out of 5]

Have you ever grocery shopped with two toddlers?

If not, let me break it down for you. You spend half the morning chasing them around the house in an attempt to get them dressed. Get them dressed...only to undress them to change the inevitable dirty diaper. Redress. Wrangle them into their carseats. Drive to the store. Park. Unload one kid into the shopping cart. Unload the other. Zip into the store and attempt to buy everything you need in a whirlwind sprint through the aisles. You bribe. Plead. BEG your kids to stop whining. Crying. Fighting. *Gasp* Open a bag of goldfish in an attempt to buy yourself enough time to make it through checkout. Wrangle the kids into the car. Unload the groceries from cart to car. Drive home. Debate whether you unload kids or groceries first: kids first, you have to deal with them running in and out of the house while you unload groceries. Groceries first, you have to deal with the screaming and yelling from the car. Groceries first. Unload kids. Put groceries away. Seriously. Exhausting. For this very reason, I find it beyond THRILLING to be able to grocery shop BY MYSELF. Most often on a Friday night. How times have changed.

As the author begins the book, she immediately describes a situation similar to the one noted above. I swooned and built up high hopes for the book. Unfortunately, it didn't begin to live up to my expectations. Beyond the grocery shopping scene and a few parts in between...the rest was dull. And whiny. And hard to relate to.

[Amy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I gave the Amanda Bright @ Home two stars for lacking direction and being a bit whiny-annoying, but would give it another half star for being an easy read at a time I needed one (on a beach vacation).

Amanda is a thirty-something mother who gives up her career to stay at home with her two pre-school age children. When she finds out being a SAHM is a dirty, messy, mind-numbing, patience-stripping, non-glamorous, and often thankless non-paying job, she begins to question her decision. Not only does she question giving up her job and the identity it gave her, but her ability to get another job once her children are grown.

Amanda is at the age where even career women begin to question themselves. She questions her friendships, her relationship with her mother, her marriage, the kind of children she's raising, and even how she's going to find time to make dinner. The problem is, it feels like Amanda doesn't resolve anything so much as circumstances resolve around her.

Somewhere, someone wrote that the book was like watching the future of Bridget Jones or one of the Sex and the City characters. I agree wholeheartedly. It's the same sort of neurotic navel-gazing those books / movies gave dating and romance (which was, at least, entertaining and funny) but now focused on the less interesting subjects of child-rearing and homemaking. As the book went on and she didn't seem to grow or fight for control of her life, I just couldn't like Amanda. She left me in the end right where I found her in the beginning - a little disappointing and a lot of irritating.

[Diana Bogan]

It took me a little time to get into this book. I didn't have very high expectations for it to begin with and considered it would (hopefully) be nothing more than a humorous book with very little plot that could easily be read in short snippets of time between tackling laundry, dishes, waiting in the school pick-up line, changing a diaper, wiping noses and imagining what I could get done if I wasn't attempting to both work from home and be a stay at home mom...so yes I suppose I fit a mold that would relate to Amanda Bright @ home. And in many ways I did. And I thought any enjoyment from the book would end there - finding a window through which to see my own self-depricating ways. The humor didn't carry through the book. As other reviews mentioned, characters and scenes can leave one bored or just plain irritated. There were instances in which I didn't like the way a character was portrayed in a stereotypically negative fashion (take the midwife for one) and so I was completely unprepared to really like the book by the end of it. I was surprised that there she threw Amanda some complex issues to work through. Was the ending completely believable...well it doesn't matter to me. THe book exceeded my expectations and gave me all I was looking for, which was a simple-minded book that I could enjoy like one of BRAVO tv's well schemed reality shows.

[eRin · Rating 1 out of 5]

There are tons of negative reviews out there that are more thorough than I'm willing to take the time to be. Amanda is whiny. Her friends are horrible. She is unhappy but she doesn't make any move to change her situation. And the big message: ALL FEMINISTS ARE VILLAINS!!!!!!!! Amanda's mother is portrayed as having no empathy for Amanda because she's a SAH. Ellie is selfish and preachy and embodies every negative sterotype of feminists there is. Her best friend is gorgeous and single and self-absorbed and headed for a fall (and of course because she's single and beautiful and self-absorbed headed for a fall, the fall is an affair with a married man). And the one that pissed me off the most: the midwife is clueless, incompetent, and disgusted by all aspects of the medical world. There is no way that this woman would be practicing at all if she was as inept as Crittenden describes. The book had promise. I liked that it was set in D.C. It did, briefly, bring up some valid questions about the mommy wars, but then those concerns were quickly skimmed over in order to show the right path. I just spent more time on this review than I should have. Don't waste your time.

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book held enough interest for me to make a trip off the back of the toilet and to the couch, but just barely. I was ready for the book to be over. The main character did nothing but bitch all the way through book. I could see why. Nothing ever interested happened to her. It was like reading about any other stay-at-home mom who secretly wanted to be doing something else. Instead of enjoying her children all she could do was whine about her life and everything she was missing. The book almost succeeded in some excitement when the hint of an affair surfaced but the author quickly squashed that prospect. I really believe that had I not found the book at a dollar store I never would have bothered to buy it.

[Amy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'd had higher hopes for Amanda Bright -- she made decisions in her life, but lacked the convictions to believe in them. I'm sure this probably rang true for many women, either dissatisfied with staying home, or dissatisfied with working. I just kept expecting Amanda to grow up a bit, or at least act more like an adult.

I read somewhere this first appeared as a serial in the Wall Street Journal. I got the feeling that the author was a feminist wrestling with the ideas of feminism herself.

[Jenn · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wasn't sure about this one at first. I think I found it on my sister's bookshelf so I picked it up one day. I figured it would be a typical stay-at-home-mom story about coming to terms with that lifestyle. But I was pretty surprised at the different turns the story took that did not go where I thought they would. It was a very interesting ending and I didn't get bored with it like I thought I would. I wouldn't say it was my favorite book, but better than I expected it to be.

[Antoinette · Rating 2 out of 5]

I felt this books just drug on and didn't really go anywhere. The last chapter was probably the best in the whole book...but I wouldn't say it was even close to sticking around for. It was okay enough that I didn't give up on it...but it wasn't good enough that I couldn't wait to find time to read. I didn't find myself becoming attached to Amanda. Probably because I'd love to be in her situation (stay at home mom) and all she did was whine about it.

[Mrsstuds · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was another find from the "Giant Book Sale" that MKS and I found in River. I saw a Wall Street Journal review on the back and thought "Jackpot" it's got to be good. Turns out the author has a friend who works at the WSJ. Coincidence?

Anyway, this book was okay, even pretty good. I didn't fly through it but I enjoyed the complexities the lead character felt in her role as a stay at home mom and the drama of their lives.

Happy to loan it out if somone wants an easy read.

[Tina · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had a hard time getting into it, and I just did not like Amanda, the main character. She was a bit whiny and self-conscious, although in self-reflection, as a stay-at-home mom, I can be just as whiny. Her entire view of stay-at-home motherhood was tempered by a group of women from more social elite circles who embrace plastic surgery as a religion and summer vacation in Europe. The ending is satisfying, but it seemed like it took a long time to get there.

[Peter · Rating 2 out of 5]

an ok book that originally appeared as installments in the Wall Street Journal. Danielle Crittenden is not a bad writer but often her characters appear as stalking horses for her ideas...she is a 'conservative' feminist who wrestles with ideas in essays and infrequent forays into fiction. This should be seen as an inquiry into modern domestic life as experienced by a woman who originally thinks of her self as liberated.

[Charity · Rating 2 out of 5]

Amanda Bright is a stay-at-home mother of two young children. When challenges come up in her husband's job and consequently, her marriage, Amanda begins to re-evaluate the choices she has made for her life. This book is not your typical chick lit and explores deeper issues than most. However, I was not blown away and thought this selection lacked a little oomph.

[Jessica Savage · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was pretty good, but nothing too heavy. It is a good story for someone to read that wants to stay home with their children while still maintaining a career. It give some insight to what you may encounter trying to lead both lives. The story was not anything that went any deeper than surface story, but it still was pretty good.

[Kasi · Rating 2 out of 5]

Breezing through this hen-lit novel that's been sitting in my "to read" pile for 4 years now. Thought I'd find humor with this stay-at-home-mom's adventures, but finding it ridiculous and unrealistic. For an educated, corporate exec-gone maternal, she's really stupid! Might finish it, might toss it...we'll see! Just enjoying the idea of having one less book on that damn shelf!

[Kris · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was the story of Amanda Bright, an Ivy League graduate who decided to stay home with her children but wasn't really feeling it, if you know what I mean. I didn't get anything out of this. In fact, this was one of a long line of books that surprised me it was even published. It was just very very regular, uninspiring and almost boring. Makes me think I could write a book, too.

[Carrie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book about a professional woman who chooses to stay home to raise her children. Brilliantly addresses the doubt, conflict, and joys that staying at home with your children can bring.

[Brenda · Rating 3 out of 5]

A novel about a frustrated SAHM in Washington DC. It's an unexpected honoring and support of motherhood from the left wing. At some points I wasn't sure how I felt about it, but the ending was good. :) Overall it was very well-written.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this before I had kids and it brought up so many issues and feelings I never thought I would have about leaving work and being a stay at home mom. After I had kids I was shocked at how true those feelings were and looked back to the book for entertainment.

[Becky]

This was a good domestic drama from the wife's and husband's point of view. It was originally written as a serial story in the Washington Post, and at times it feels like that. starts of plot lines, then they're dropped. But Amanda's story is worth reading.

[Brandie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Cute book, easy read, quick read. At times I really identified with the main character - sometimes staying at home is less than wonderful, sometimes the house looks terrible, sometimes we have to really eek by with the finances. But I don't know .. the book still felt just okay to me.

[Sue Kozlowski · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good but not as good as I thought it would be. I thought it would really hit home with me since I also left the work force to stay home full time with 3 daughters. Amanda lives in DC. Stays home with 2 kids. Husband Bob works for the Justice Dept.

[Erica · Rating 2 out of 5]

Occasionally hackneyed, often predictable, at times uninformed, but also spoke to my own inner conflict over mom vs. career and the self-value attached with each. Some good zinger phrases from friend Liz.