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Don't Bend Over in the Garden, Granny, You Know Them Taters Got Eyes
In this new book, Grizzard writes about the relationships between men and women, sex in the South versus sex in the North. Writing about wives, lovers and friends, Grizzard sets out to prove that sex is not dirty but hilarious--and he succeeds. Advertising in the New York Times Book Review and the Atlanta Journal Constitution.
245 pages, Mass Market Paperback
First published January 1, 1988
28 people are currently reading
377 people want to read
About the author
Lewis Grizzard
67 books89 followersAmerican writer and humorist, known for his Southern demeanor and commentary on the American South. Although he spent his early career as a newspaper sports writer and editor, becoming the sports editor of the Atlanta Journal at age 23, he is much better known for his humorous newspaper columns in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. He was also a popular stand-up comedian & lecturer.
Grizzard also published a total of twenty-five books, including collections of his columns (e.g. Chili Dawgs Always Bark at Night), expanded versions of his stand-up comedy routines (I Haven't Understood Anything Since 1962), and the autobiographical If I Ever Get Back to Georgia, I'm Gonna Nail My Feet to the Ground. Although much of his comedy discussed the South and Grizzard’s personal and professional lives, it was also a commentary on issues prevalent throughout America, including relationships between men and women (e.g. If Love Were Oil, I'd Be About a Quart Low), politics, and health, especially heart health.
He made us laugh and think at the same time. Indeed, during his lifetime, Lewis Grizzard heard himself described as "this generation's Mark Twain," "one of the foremost humorists in the country" and "a Faulkner for plain folks" by the national press. What he was, without a doubt, was a masterful storyteller, stand-up comedian, syndicated columnist and best selling author.
Lewis Grizzard Museum: http://newnan.com/lg/
New Georgia Encyclopedia entry:
http://www.georgiaencyclopedia.org/ng...
Grizzard also published a total of twenty-five books, including collections of his columns (e.g. Chili Dawgs Always Bark at Night), expanded versions of his stand-up comedy routines (I Haven't Understood Anything Since 1962), and the autobiographical If I Ever Get Back to Georgia, I'm Gonna Nail My Feet to the Ground. Although much of his comedy discussed the South and Grizzard’s personal and professional lives, it was also a commentary on issues prevalent throughout America, including relationships between men and women (e.g. If Love Were Oil, I'd Be About a Quart Low), politics, and health, especially heart health.
He made us laugh and think at the same time. Indeed, during his lifetime, Lewis Grizzard heard himself described as "this generation's Mark Twain," "one of the foremost humorists in the country" and "a Faulkner for plain folks" by the national press. What he was, without a doubt, was a masterful storyteller, stand-up comedian, syndicated columnist and best selling author.
Lewis Grizzard Museum: http://newnan.com/lg/
New Georgia Encyclopedia entry:
http://www.georgiaencyclopedia.org/ng...
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 40 reviews
September 24, 2012
"There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that quite easily."
If you weren't around during a very specific point in American history (the late 80's, when Reaganomics was the rage and "Full House" was the raunchiest thing on TV) and in a specific place (the South), you've probably never heard of, nor would you care to hear of Lewis Grizzard. Erma Bombeck with a penis, the proto-shoggoth version of Jeff Foxworthy, Grizzard (rhymes with "his yard," not "blizzard") wrote about a dozen comedic books between 1984 and 1993, mostly about living in the South and not understanding these dad-blasted kids today. If you remember him at all, it's probably for having some of the most ridiculous book titles to ever grace the shelves at Woolworth's: Shoot Low Boys, They're Riding Shetland Ponies, Elvis is Dead and I Don't Feel So Good Myself, and of course Don't Bend Over in the Garden, Granny, you Know Them Taters Got Eyes. When I was ten years old, I thought he was the funniest motherfucker on the planet.
And to be honest, I did chuckle and guffaw a few times re-reading Don't Bend Over in the Garden..., though mostly from nostalgia rather than anything in the book being actually funny. This was Grizzard's "sex" book, the one I remember most clearly from childhood, probably because it had "dirty jokes" in it. In truth, the book is so PG-rated these days it transforms the reader into a bizarre time-traveling cultural scavenger, the way i'd imagine it might feel to discover a collection of daguerrotypes of frontierswomen's ankles. It waffles between hilariously dated cultural jokes (Tammy Faye Baker is a big target of Grizzard's ire, as is surprisingly Jerry Falwell), dirty jokes torn right out of your bestselling bathroom reader, like Big John and his "big business," three inches long (measured from the floor, of course); and weird personal anecdotes about Grizzard and his wives.
Don't Bend Over is frequently paleolithic in its social outlook (Diane Keaton is ugly and has a 'smart mouth'! Women like to engage in foreplay with men and then not have sex with them!), but also surprisingly progressive at times for something written during the height of the "family values" boom. On anti-sex preachers like Jerry Falwell, Grizzard writes:
"The only people who say 'fornicating' are people who spit on you when they talk and started branding people with scarlet letters when witch hunts went out of style."
and on the subject of banning pornography:
"Give the book burners one little victory like Falwell over Flynt and those people can get absolutely red-eyed with determinatino to see everything but the Bible, 'Reader's Digest' and 'Guns and Ammo' flushed down the toilet.
So it's not all bad. And very, very occasionally, it manages to be a bit more than a late-80s cultural artifact and get a little funny. I'm not going to recommend this, or any of Grizzard's work to anybody, but if you grew up with these books it might not be a terrible idea to pick one up, just for nostalgia's sake.
If you weren't around during a very specific point in American history (the late 80's, when Reaganomics was the rage and "Full House" was the raunchiest thing on TV) and in a specific place (the South), you've probably never heard of, nor would you care to hear of Lewis Grizzard. Erma Bombeck with a penis, the proto-shoggoth version of Jeff Foxworthy, Grizzard (rhymes with "his yard," not "blizzard") wrote about a dozen comedic books between 1984 and 1993, mostly about living in the South and not understanding these dad-blasted kids today. If you remember him at all, it's probably for having some of the most ridiculous book titles to ever grace the shelves at Woolworth's: Shoot Low Boys, They're Riding Shetland Ponies, Elvis is Dead and I Don't Feel So Good Myself, and of course Don't Bend Over in the Garden, Granny, you Know Them Taters Got Eyes. When I was ten years old, I thought he was the funniest motherfucker on the planet.
And to be honest, I did chuckle and guffaw a few times re-reading Don't Bend Over in the Garden..., though mostly from nostalgia rather than anything in the book being actually funny. This was Grizzard's "sex" book, the one I remember most clearly from childhood, probably because it had "dirty jokes" in it. In truth, the book is so PG-rated these days it transforms the reader into a bizarre time-traveling cultural scavenger, the way i'd imagine it might feel to discover a collection of daguerrotypes of frontierswomen's ankles. It waffles between hilariously dated cultural jokes (Tammy Faye Baker is a big target of Grizzard's ire, as is surprisingly Jerry Falwell), dirty jokes torn right out of your bestselling bathroom reader, like Big John and his "big business," three inches long (measured from the floor, of course); and weird personal anecdotes about Grizzard and his wives.
Don't Bend Over is frequently paleolithic in its social outlook (Diane Keaton is ugly and has a 'smart mouth'! Women like to engage in foreplay with men and then not have sex with them!), but also surprisingly progressive at times for something written during the height of the "family values" boom. On anti-sex preachers like Jerry Falwell, Grizzard writes:
"The only people who say 'fornicating' are people who spit on you when they talk and started branding people with scarlet letters when witch hunts went out of style."
and on the subject of banning pornography:
"Give the book burners one little victory like Falwell over Flynt and those people can get absolutely red-eyed with determinatino to see everything but the Bible, 'Reader's Digest' and 'Guns and Ammo' flushed down the toilet.
So it's not all bad. And very, very occasionally, it manages to be a bit more than a late-80s cultural artifact and get a little funny. I'm not going to recommend this, or any of Grizzard's work to anybody, but if you grew up with these books it might not be a terrible idea to pick one up, just for nostalgia's sake.
June 18, 2019
This is Lewis Grizzard's book on sex.Now before you start imaging all sorts of things, let me clarify that some. He does talk about sex, but never uses any bad language and doesn't talk about positions or things like that. What the book is, is a collection of musings and jokes and comments on how sex basically shapes all of our lives told in his down home humorous style.This is not a collection of his newspaper columns.
He tells about his several honeymoons, how men are raging hormones as teenagers (and girls say no) and trying to avoid sex in their 40s when their wives are raring to go, and even ways to deal with not getting sex when you want it among other things. A lot of the things he discusses were very topical when he wrote the book. Of course, that was 1980.So now those parts are seriously dated. But the other jokes and stories make up for it.
This was a fun read.Even though it was a book about sex,it is more PG than rated X. You still couldn't tell the jokes at work but that is more about being Politically Correct than them being dirty. But then you also can't tell someone their haircut looks nice without going against PC standards. It would probably appeal to those who are old enough to remember 1980 so they can understand some of the references.
I actually read this to meet one of the goals of the local library's reading program for adults.
He tells about his several honeymoons, how men are raging hormones as teenagers (and girls say no) and trying to avoid sex in their 40s when their wives are raring to go, and even ways to deal with not getting sex when you want it among other things. A lot of the things he discusses were very topical when he wrote the book. Of course, that was 1980.So now those parts are seriously dated. But the other jokes and stories make up for it.
This was a fun read.Even though it was a book about sex,it is more PG than rated X. You still couldn't tell the jokes at work but that is more about being Politically Correct than them being dirty. But then you also can't tell someone their haircut looks nice without going against PC standards. It would probably appeal to those who are old enough to remember 1980 so they can understand some of the references.
I actually read this to meet one of the goals of the local library's reading program for adults.
April 11, 2009
The late Lewis Grizzard was my favorite Southern humorist. I grinned the whole way through.
June 24, 2011
People should read more southern humorists and publishing houses take note.
May 8, 2024
A little dated, but still funny at times.
May 6, 2013
Lewis Grizzard’s Don’t Bend Over in the Garden, Granny, You Know Them Taters Got Eyes is a book with no true purpose. The book covers Lewis’s views on sex and marriage while giving the reader a good laugh. It’s sad to say that the title is better than some of the book, but with a title as catching as Don’t Bend Over in the Garden, Granny, You Know Them Taters Got Eyes, it’s hard a book up to par. This book is overall a bunch of unrelated jokes about things that should not be listed in a class environment. The wonderful thing about this book is that it does not make the reader feel awkward with language that may be deemed extreme by some people. In fact, Lewis manages to go the entire book without actually saying any crazy words. With a book that contains no plot, it is very difficult to fill an entire box titled plot tease. This is a whole hearted attempt. My overall satisfaction with this book is four stars; hence the four stars next to the title Overall Satisfaction. As the book progresses, and as I became more comfortable with Lewis Grizzard’s writing, I began to enjoy it much more. Due to the somewhat awkwardness of the book, I took away a star because stars are taken away for awkwardness. Overall, this book is a good, funny, four star book.
July 26, 2016
Don't Bend Over in the Garden, Granny, You Know Them Taters Got Eyes by Lewis Grizzard (Villiard Books 1988) (814.54). Lewis Grizzard has gone and written himself a book about sex. Southern sex, to be precise. Southern sex traditions and mores, to be even more exact. It's filled with the standard Lewis Grizzard formula: old jokes that you've heard many times before, and filler. The filler is the ghostwritten part; I imagine that Lewis writes his book as follows: Lewis meets with a ghost-writer hack, Lewis tells the hack his (Lewis') most recent jokes, and the hack writes a book above Lewis' signature. I can't believe that we thought these books were funny when they were published. I'm not sure whether this is badly dated or whether it was just never funny at all. My rating: 7/10, finished 7/25/16. Years ago I pitched all of my Lewis Grizzard books out. I forgot that they were all autographed copies. I pulled this hardback copy out of the free bin at McKay's. HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
March 18, 2008
Can't say exactly what was so great about all these Grizzard books that I read during the 80s, but they made me laugh. I think I learned a lot about men, especially men who became befuddled after the women's revolution of the 60s . . . those men who couldn't figure out whether or not to open a door for a woman (or lady as he puts it) . . . those men who unwillingly made the transition from "a haircut at the Barber shop" to a "hair-styling at the Salon" at the insistence of their wives. In all he seemed to be an honest and open man/boy who died too young. I would have liked to see how he dealt with old age.
May 3, 2014
Read almost any book by Lewis Grizzard, blest be his name, and you will
turn off your TV instead of watching stupid sitcoms or even Dancing with the Stars.
Just to see his name is hilarious.
He spares no one in his satiric and iconoclastic views of life and the people who we see around us. He doesn't try to be politically correct, which already merits five stars.
You will certainly be reading all his books you can find. Unfortunately,
my library has gotten rid of most of his works, and I MUST find then somewhere!
turn off your TV instead of watching stupid sitcoms or even Dancing with the Stars.
Just to see his name is hilarious.
He spares no one in his satiric and iconoclastic views of life and the people who we see around us. He doesn't try to be politically correct, which already merits five stars.
You will certainly be reading all his books you can find. Unfortunately,
my library has gotten rid of most of his works, and I MUST find then somewhere!
November 3, 2018
This book was a hoot and a half. I haven't heard some of these jokes since I was a kid, and it was nice to hear some polite "raunchy" humor again. The perspectives in the book, if written in language that has fallen sadly out of favor within general use, are just as valid as they were when they were first written. It's nice to hear a logical, reasoned argument again.
August 4, 2007
Good book - easy reading. I've read most of his books. I started in about 1980, when a "Non-reader" got one from Christmas and passed it to me to read and give him a book "report". And that stared me reading Lewis Grizzard's books. The world lost a great writer when he died a few years ago.
October 9, 2007
This is a funny, easy read. Don't buy it though, check it out at the library instead. It's somewhat misogynistic and other books show the author to be more than a little racist and misogynistic. So choose not to spend your dollars supporting his writing (even if he is dead).
April 17, 2008
My hubby absolutely loved Lewis Grizzard and his books. We even went to see him on stage and laughed so hard at his style of Southern humor. Hubby has ALL the books and refuses to part with any of them.
August 3, 2014
Lewis Grizzard can always be counted on for a laugh and this book all about sex was no exception, though I have to say that the best part is the title. Well that, and the list of terms he promised not to use -- love muscle, heaving orbs, tunnel of lust, etc.
May 8, 2007
Must read-1
Kept my attention-3
Meaningful-1
Well written-3
Kept my attention-3
Meaningful-1
Well written-3
August 10, 2008
Hysterical, as a Lewis Grizzard book always is.
July 14, 2014
Wow does this seem dated now. I'm afraid to read more than the jacket for fear of cringing.
July 30, 2011
It was very entertaining in a sarcastic funny kind of way. The author was known to offend many people but I still found him humorous.
October 9, 2011
he is usually SO much funnier than this.
November 22, 2012
Mr. Grizzard's other books were far more entertaining. This one just fell flat for me. So flat that at times it was almost painful to read.
January 13, 2013
Cute antecdotes but dated material - which makes sense because the book is a few years old.
June 1, 2014
I've never heard of the author before. He was obviously popular in the 80s. He reminds me of a male Erma Bombeck. I look forward to reading more of his stuff!
December 4, 2014
Sexual humor. He talks about his views on comedy and gives ribald examples of hi "humor". There are also some racial and religious references that are in poor taste.
March 25, 2016
read SOMETIME in 1998
November 28, 2016
The best book to own and re-read by the great Grizzard.
June 22, 2023
Lewis Grizzard brings back those memories for me of being in the dark about everything sexual. I still remember a student asking the priest who was discussing sex with us leading questions up hoping to be able to figure sexual things. Catholic school in the early sixties was likely as hard on priests and nuns who taught there as it was on the students. An example of a leading question was “Is it a sin to French kiss? The follow up question was “Why is it a sin?” Haha. We thought we were so clever.
This was fun and quick. He has lots of books and today I’m stopping at two but I’ll be reading all of them I can get my hands on.
This was fun and quick. He has lots of books and today I’m stopping at two but I’ll be reading all of them I can get my hands on.
February 8, 2023
Lewis Grizzard writes a book about sex, because why not? There's some cringey late-career misogyny going on, but all in all, fairly funny. Better than Shoot Low, Boys--They're Ridin' Shetland Ponies: In Search of True Grit, but far from my favorite. I think at this point it's fair to say that I much prefer his earlier work or his autobiographical books over these that are more "topic"(al).
September 28, 2019
I have no idea why I read this, but it was an easy way to pass the time at work.
It made me chuckle for 2 reasons: 1. some of the jokes and anecdotes were kind of funny; 2. There is no way this book would sell today, which added to the humor, if you can get past the offensiveness of it.
I would NOT say it's a must read or even something I would recommend anybody read, but it's not a bad time-filler.
It made me chuckle for 2 reasons: 1. some of the jokes and anecdotes were kind of funny; 2. There is no way this book would sell today, which added to the humor, if you can get past the offensiveness of it.
I would NOT say it's a must read or even something I would recommend anybody read, but it's not a bad time-filler.
August 10, 2020
This book was published in 1988 and I find it interesting how much has changed and how much has not changed. At the time it was probably considered risqué, but today would be rather bland. Lewis was a southern humorist, beloved by many for his wit. Too soon gone!
April 27, 2025
I would have enjoyed this more if I was a straight man of the 80s. I did lol at several jokes (primarily in the first half), but did not at many others. This is a bit outdated. I might have laughed more if my name was Lewis Grizzard… still a good read as a silly southerner!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 40 reviews