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Sweetbreads and Sweet Nothings
Bartender Lukas Schueller’s life in Berlin falls apart when his boyfriend, Bernhard, disappears without a trace. A year later Lukas is finally picking up the pieces of his life. He’s back on track with his Divinity studies and has found love again in Kristoph, a science professor at his University.
Things are looking up until the shocking truth about his former lover’s disappearance comes to Bernhard was killed and cannibalized by a man he met on the Internet. Even more horrifying, he volunteered for it. When Lukas receives graphic proof of this, he is haunted by grotesque dreams and unbearable heartbreak.
As he begins to wade into the mystery of why someone would choose to be eaten by someone else, he comes face to face with what it means to confront his own fears and must try to build a new life with Kristoph from the ashes of the old.
A Bittersweet Dreams It's an unfortunate love doesn't always conquer all. Regardless of its strength, sometimes fate intervenes, tragedy strikes, or forces conspire against it. These stories of romance do not offer a traditional happy ending, but the strong and enduring love will still touch your heart and maybe move you to tears.
Things are looking up until the shocking truth about his former lover’s disappearance comes to Bernhard was killed and cannibalized by a man he met on the Internet. Even more horrifying, he volunteered for it. When Lukas receives graphic proof of this, he is haunted by grotesque dreams and unbearable heartbreak.
As he begins to wade into the mystery of why someone would choose to be eaten by someone else, he comes face to face with what it means to confront his own fears and must try to build a new life with Kristoph from the ashes of the old.
A Bittersweet Dreams It's an unfortunate love doesn't always conquer all. Regardless of its strength, sometimes fate intervenes, tragedy strikes, or forces conspire against it. These stories of romance do not offer a traditional happy ending, but the strong and enduring love will still touch your heart and maybe move you to tears.
- GenresM M RomanceHorror
83 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 21, 2015
2 people are currently reading
57 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews
October 23, 2015
This book is getting lots of talk around Goodreads. So my friends list is divided. Some of them know better than to ever open the pages of this book...then there are the rest of us. We saw the book blurb and...
The dollars started waving in the air. JUST TAKE OUR MONEY!
The story within is based on the "real life case" that happened in Germany. A man advertises on the internet for someone willing to be consumed by him. PEOPLE ANSWERED HIM! (I have such a hard time wrapping my brain around this)
In this story you have Lukas who is in a committed relationship with his partner Bernhard. Bernhard goes missing.
But get this...Does Lukas raise the alarm that the love of his life is missing? Nope. Not for several days!
Even after the fact that Bernhard is missing comes out I still didn't feel like Lukas really gave a shit.
You also have Lukas's sister and Peter in the background telling Lukas that he needs to move on.
I'm pretty much the soulless sister but I'm sorry if my significant other was missing hell would have no fury matched to mine. I sure as heck wouldn't have just packed up my feelings and moved on so quickly.
Then the news picks up on a story...
The man the paper is calling the Master Butcher is the only thing anyone can talk about. Apparently the man killed and ate a willing victim. For weeks the unnamed man and his consenting meal are discussed over the glasses of beer all over the world.
Lukas gets contacted by a police officer and told that Bernhard is the victim. (this is not a spoiler it is the whole basis of the book)
The suddenly Lukas is devastated.
He is questioned by the police on the why's of Bernhard's choice and I'm sorry but I think this part is complete and total bullshit..he is given information on the case.
I don't know Germany's laws but I just can not fathom a police officer giving out the information that Lukas is given.
Then he is given permission to view the tape that was made of the act itself.
Hell no..just no. I can't see any family member ever being subjected or allowed to watch that.
I felt like the author was just pushing for more attention with that included. It wore my nerves thin.
Then the book tries to redeem itself by trying to make the story about closure.
He liked white wine but hated red and-and he was really shy. He didn't like people looking at him." Tears sting his throat and behind Lukas's eyes, but he can't stop yet. He has one last thing to say. "Bernhard would hate people talking about him like this."
So the overall verdict. If you go in expecting decent characters in my opinion it is not gonna happen. But if you, like me, are just one of those weirdos who can't look away from a story like this then go for it.
(I'm including all my weirdo buddy readers as they get their reviews up..cuz they is slow) *ducks*
My friend Rosa, really's review is a good one. She did enjoy the book more than I did. I think I'm just going to go and join her in playing Candy Crush.
Here is Kelly's review She twisted all our arms and made us all read it. (something about feeding us to Mitchell)
Susan's review is here She might have been the smart one and just said hell with this stuff, I'm gonna go eat some pork.
Wart's review Wart liked this one and even made it past that video.
Then we have Jahy who finished the book with us but may not review or rate it because that is her choice. Don't give her no flack either.
The dollars started waving in the air. JUST TAKE OUR MONEY!
The story within is based on the "real life case" that happened in Germany. A man advertises on the internet for someone willing to be consumed by him. PEOPLE ANSWERED HIM! (I have such a hard time wrapping my brain around this)
In this story you have Lukas who is in a committed relationship with his partner Bernhard. Bernhard goes missing.
But get this...Does Lukas raise the alarm that the love of his life is missing? Nope. Not for several days!
Even after the fact that Bernhard is missing comes out I still didn't feel like Lukas really gave a shit.
You also have Lukas's sister and Peter in the background telling Lukas that he needs to move on.
I'm pretty much the soulless sister but I'm sorry if my significant other was missing hell would have no fury matched to mine. I sure as heck wouldn't have just packed up my feelings and moved on so quickly.
Then the news picks up on a story...
The man the paper is calling the Master Butcher is the only thing anyone can talk about. Apparently the man killed and ate a willing victim. For weeks the unnamed man and his consenting meal are discussed over the glasses of beer all over the world.
Lukas gets contacted by a police officer and told that Bernhard is the victim. (this is not a spoiler it is the whole basis of the book)
The suddenly Lukas is devastated.
He is questioned by the police on the why's of Bernhard's choice and I'm sorry but I think this part is complete and total bullshit..he is given information on the case.
I don't know Germany's laws but I just can not fathom a police officer giving out the information that Lukas is given.
Then he is given permission to view the tape that was made of the act itself.
Hell no..just no. I can't see any family member ever being subjected or allowed to watch that.
I felt like the author was just pushing for more attention with that included. It wore my nerves thin.
Then the book tries to redeem itself by trying to make the story about closure.
He liked white wine but hated red and-and he was really shy. He didn't like people looking at him." Tears sting his throat and behind Lukas's eyes, but he can't stop yet. He has one last thing to say. "Bernhard would hate people talking about him like this."
So the overall verdict. If you go in expecting decent characters in my opinion it is not gonna happen. But if you, like me, are just one of those weirdos who can't look away from a story like this then go for it.
(I'm including all my weirdo buddy readers as they get their reviews up..cuz they is slow) *ducks*
My friend Rosa, really's review is a good one. She did enjoy the book more than I did. I think I'm just going to go and join her in playing Candy Crush.
Here is Kelly's review She twisted all our arms and made us all read it. (something about feeding us to Mitchell)
Susan's review is here She might have been the smart one and just said hell with this stuff, I'm gonna go eat some pork.
Wart's review Wart liked this one and even made it past that video.
Then we have Jahy who finished the book with us but may not review or rate it because that is her choice. Don't give her no flack either.
October 22, 2015
Find all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
“What is it they say? You never forget your first love.”
Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, this book blurb started spreading around the Goodreadsphere earlier this week. It became crystal clear there were only two camps – on one side of the room sat the normies who didn’t want anything to do with it and on the other side . . . .
Yeah, all of us freaks pre-ordered this sum bitch en masse.
For me I’ll admit as soon as I saw the title I may have let out a bit of a squee and offered up a tiny prayer to whatever freaky book god would deliver me a book about Sweetbreads and Sweet Nothings. When the blurb confirmed this story would be about cannibalism Mitchell practically knocked me out of the way to get it pre-ordered. We were both expecting something very particular in this “romance” . . . .
Mitchell was less-than-thrilled when it turned out there was less ewww in the form of the nomnomnom and more ewww in the form of the fact that it seemed like we were reading the equivalent of a Sam Smith record playing on an endless loop . . .
Now, if you are of the weak-stomached variety, you’ll probably still barf. However, if you’re like me (a/k/a totally normal) you’ll look past the potential gross-out factor and see this novella for what it is – how to find closure and move on with your life after you’ve lost a partner. Imagine if you could sit across the table from someone you loved who decided to take his own life . . . or if you could speak to cancer or heart disease or whatever else took your love away. If you could release all of your hatred, if you could be provided an explanation of why, if you could find peace. This story is obviously not for everyone and it’s most definitely not perfect (probably around 3 Stars as far as writing/character development/etc. and negative 1,000 Stars for that fug cover), but I’m giving it 3.5 Stars for originality and for the fact that I thought I was just reading something for a cheap October thrill and ended up experiencing something much deeper.
Okay, the review portion is over – now I’m going to hop on my soapbox for a second. This week I’ve seen lots of posts (about this and another story) saying “this is subject matter that should NEVER be written about” or “shame on the author.” Everyone has the right to opt not to read a book, to 1 Star it because you hated it, to rage review it because you found it offensive – but be careful throwing around those “NEVERS.” You may regret it someday if you find your right to speak freely taken away . . .
Alright, stepping of soapbox. Now on to the mad props for all my homies who jumped right into the fire with me on this one . . .
Rosa, really and Wart and Susan and JaHy and Shelby. You guys are all hilarious psychos and I love being friends with you on Goodreads.
ORIGINAL "REVIEW":
That awkward moment when none of your friends want to read a book because of the disturbing blurb which is the reason you want to read the book . . .
“What is it they say? You never forget your first love.”
Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, this book blurb started spreading around the Goodreadsphere earlier this week. It became crystal clear there were only two camps – on one side of the room sat the normies who didn’t want anything to do with it and on the other side . . . .
Yeah, all of us freaks pre-ordered this sum bitch en masse.
For me I’ll admit as soon as I saw the title I may have let out a bit of a squee and offered up a tiny prayer to whatever freaky book god would deliver me a book about Sweetbreads and Sweet Nothings. When the blurb confirmed this story would be about cannibalism Mitchell practically knocked me out of the way to get it pre-ordered. We were both expecting something very particular in this “romance” . . . .
Mitchell was less-than-thrilled when it turned out there was less ewww in the form of the nomnomnom and more ewww in the form of the fact that it seemed like we were reading the equivalent of a Sam Smith record playing on an endless loop . . .
Now, if you are of the weak-stomached variety, you’ll probably still barf. However, if you’re like me (a/k/a totally normal) you’ll look past the potential gross-out factor and see this novella for what it is – how to find closure and move on with your life after you’ve lost a partner. Imagine if you could sit across the table from someone you loved who decided to take his own life . . . or if you could speak to cancer or heart disease or whatever else took your love away. If you could release all of your hatred, if you could be provided an explanation of why, if you could find peace. This story is obviously not for everyone and it’s most definitely not perfect (probably around 3 Stars as far as writing/character development/etc. and negative 1,000 Stars for that fug cover), but I’m giving it 3.5 Stars for originality and for the fact that I thought I was just reading something for a cheap October thrill and ended up experiencing something much deeper.
Okay, the review portion is over – now I’m going to hop on my soapbox for a second. This week I’ve seen lots of posts (about this and another story) saying “this is subject matter that should NEVER be written about” or “shame on the author.” Everyone has the right to opt not to read a book, to 1 Star it because you hated it, to rage review it because you found it offensive – but be careful throwing around those “NEVERS.” You may regret it someday if you find your right to speak freely taken away . . .
Alright, stepping of soapbox. Now on to the mad props for all my homies who jumped right into the fire with me on this one . . .
Rosa, really and Wart and Susan and JaHy and Shelby. You guys are all hilarious psychos and I love being friends with you on Goodreads.
ORIGINAL "REVIEW":
That awkward moment when none of your friends want to read a book because of the disturbing blurb which is the reason you want to read the book . . .
October 24, 2015
Kissing makes Lukas wonder whether or not that man ate Bernhard's thin, soft lips or if he threw them out with hair and bone.
i expected this book would be a lotta things, but "boring" wasn't one of them.
alas...
it reads like a writing workshop assignment: choose an article from the newspaper and write a story from the point of view of one of the participants. i give her much respect for choosing such a meaty article, but in order for it to feel like something more than an exercise in character or voice, it needs to have a clear audience.
and i don't know who that is. there are two obvious starting points - fans of cannibalism, most likely in the horror genre, and fans of m/m romance. but i don't know if this would satisfy either of those audiences. so far, all i know is that it has captured the interest of the WTF crowd. which is clearly a measurable segment of the reading population, but one with a short attention span.
full review to come if my own attention span allows for it.
2.5 stars rounded up just to applaud the balls on a nice southern jewish girl in tackling this subject matter.
i expected this book would be a lotta things, but "boring" wasn't one of them.
alas...
it reads like a writing workshop assignment: choose an article from the newspaper and write a story from the point of view of one of the participants. i give her much respect for choosing such a meaty article, but in order for it to feel like something more than an exercise in character or voice, it needs to have a clear audience.
and i don't know who that is. there are two obvious starting points - fans of cannibalism, most likely in the horror genre, and fans of m/m romance. but i don't know if this would satisfy either of those audiences. so far, all i know is that it has captured the interest of the WTF crowd. which is clearly a measurable segment of the reading population, but one with a short attention span.
full review to come if my own attention span allows for it.
2.5 stars rounded up just to applaud the balls on a nice southern jewish girl in tackling this subject matter.
October 22, 2015
Near the beginning of the novella, Lukas draws a Mobius strip on his lover Bernhard's soft stomach.
Lukas: "I love this. The never-ending loops of eternity. It's complicated in so many cultures, but I like the idea of it meaning two bodies coming together to become one. It's beautiful, isn't it?"
"That--" Bernhard's voice caught in the back of his throat. His voice clicked as it reset. "That's a really interesting thought. Two separate people becoming one physical being."
"Yeah," Lukas agreed with a shrug. "I like the metaphor." He traced the line with his fingertip. "Two separate pieces make one whole unit. Kind of like us."
About a year after Bernhard suddenly disappears Lukas learns that his idea of "two separate pieces make one whole unit"-- is not two people building a life together, but willingly, happily, becoming food for a hungry, hungry cannibal.
Ugh. Ugh. That shit is FUCKED UP. (And yet parts of it are based on a true story--SOMEONE ACTUALLY DID THAT.)
And you wanna know what really creeped me out? It's not the idea of cannibalism, which causes a visceral reaction in us all (at least I hope it does) that sounds something like:
And it wasn't the grody scenes that made me want to:
I mean, it's really no worse than those early episodes of season 5 of The Walking Dead. Or, you know, almost any scene in The Walking Dead.
The creepiest part is that on one level you could read this as a love triangle. Between Lukas, Bernhard & Dietrich Luhrman, the Master Butcher of Rotenburg. There are some scenes in here that are so lovingly and romantically written I just wanted to
Again. THIS IS SOME FUCKED UP SHIT RIGHT HERE. And it's not blood and guts that make it creepy as fuck--it's the emotions. The fucking psychological scars Lukas has to deal with, Bernhard must have dealt with and I AM FUCKING DEALING WITH, M'KAY? Caused by someone's idea of twu wuv.
Oh god. I am sincerely impressed with this novella and how the author handled the subject matter but I am NEVER reading this thing again. Never!
I'm now going to hide under the covers with my dog, listen to R. Cooper's A Boy and His Dragon on audio and play Candy Crush till my brain goes numb. *nods*
Btw, I will definitely be following Evelyn Esrig's writing career after this. How will she follow this up? A nice YA romance between bear cub shifters?
****************************************
Holy shit. I just bought this book.
will-never-ever-read
October 19, 2015Nothing against the author or the story, but when I saw the blurb...
November 27, 2015
....okay, so my brain is basically a gigantic case of what the fuck is going on. It's a thing, I deal with it.
So when I saw a bunch of "wtf" pre-reviews for this blurb I went and read it, because curious, and colour me a weirdo but this sounds SUPER interesting.
Is this a what if your boyfriend CHOSE to get eaten by Hannibal.... love story?! Huh?!
I will read this because I have ALL the curious now....
Because nothing says Spooktober quite like Hannibal ate my boyfriend for dinner!
3 That-wasn’t-what-I-expected Stars
I think it’s fair to say that everyone has overcome something, has dealt with something in their lives that feels like it is IMPOSSIBLE. And while it may be callous to say that that something is comparable to having your love being cannibalised, hard isn’t relative; hard is just HARD. To say that Lukas is having a hard time dealing – the entire of this short story takes place after Lukas’s boyfriend, Bernhard, has disappeared – with the choices of the man he loved is an extreme understatement.
I was expecting a great deal more gore than was delivered in this short story. Ultimately I would say that Sweetbreads and Sweet Nothings was a book about the resilience of the human heart.
Where I was expecting instability and gore, I received a lot more love and compassion. I’m not sure what it says about me that the latter of those falls short of my desired read. With a couple notable scenes excluded I would say this book borders on cutesy. Lukas’s new partner, Kristoph, is possibly too perfect – which I found distancing.
He studies Lukas through the spray, and Lukas wonders what he could possibly see in the sobbing disaster in front of him that would make his eyes go soft and his hands so gentle.
It probably says several questionable things about me that the elegant cannibal was my favourite character (and he is almost entirely absent from the story) but there it is. If you are going to write a story where there is cannibalism, I feel like you should give us a couple more scenes with the actual cannibal. But alas, I am probably spoiled by ‘Hannibal’ and the ‘Silence of the Lambs’ films.
*shrugs shoulders*
I think this shortie would be more palatable to those who don’t have a rather large obsession with Hannibal.
So when I saw a bunch of "wtf" pre-reviews for this blurb I went and read it, because curious, and colour me a weirdo but this sounds SUPER interesting.
Is this a what if your boyfriend CHOSE to get eaten by Hannibal.... love story?! Huh?!
I will read this because I have ALL the curious now....
Because nothing says Spooktober quite like Hannibal ate my boyfriend for dinner!
3 That-wasn’t-what-I-expected Stars
I think it’s fair to say that everyone has overcome something, has dealt with something in their lives that feels like it is IMPOSSIBLE. And while it may be callous to say that that something is comparable to having your love being cannibalised, hard isn’t relative; hard is just HARD. To say that Lukas is having a hard time dealing – the entire of this short story takes place after Lukas’s boyfriend, Bernhard, has disappeared – with the choices of the man he loved is an extreme understatement.
I was expecting a great deal more gore than was delivered in this short story. Ultimately I would say that Sweetbreads and Sweet Nothings was a book about the resilience of the human heart.
Where I was expecting instability and gore, I received a lot more love and compassion. I’m not sure what it says about me that the latter of those falls short of my desired read. With a couple notable scenes excluded I would say this book borders on cutesy. Lukas’s new partner, Kristoph, is possibly too perfect – which I found distancing.
He studies Lukas through the spray, and Lukas wonders what he could possibly see in the sobbing disaster in front of him that would make his eyes go soft and his hands so gentle.
It probably says several questionable things about me that the elegant cannibal was my favourite character (and he is almost entirely absent from the story) but there it is. If you are going to write a story where there is cannibalism, I feel like you should give us a couple more scenes with the actual cannibal. But alas, I am probably spoiled by ‘Hannibal’ and the ‘Silence of the Lambs’ films.
*shrugs shoulders*
I think this shortie would be more palatable to those who don’t have a rather large obsession with Hannibal.
Want to read
October 19, 2015....listen.
as someone who binge-watched all three seasons of Hannibal in mute horror and (more or less) total fascination, i'm pretty sure i'm going to read this some day.
sounds like creepy-good fun!
minus the sweetbreads part.
this one time, on our first date, this guy took me out to a brazilian steakhouse, insisting that i order the sweetbreads platter along with my always-delicious churrasco.
deferring to his superior culinary wisdom and the suuuuuuper-convincing hand he slid up my thigh, i did.
there was no second date.
as someone who binge-watched all three seasons of Hannibal in mute horror and (more or less) total fascination, i'm pretty sure i'm going to read this some day.
sounds like creepy-good fun!
minus the sweetbreads part.
this one time, on our first date, this guy took me out to a brazilian steakhouse, insisting that i order the sweetbreads platter along with my always-delicious churrasco.
deferring to his superior culinary wisdom and the suuuuuuper-convincing hand he slid up my thigh, i did.
there was no second date.
it-s-not-you-it-s-me
October 19, 2015No offense to anyone, but this one is not for me.
Want to read
October 19, 2015lol. i'm gonna read the shit outta this.
no-or-probably-never
October 19, 2015It's come to my attention that the Bittersweet Dreams titles are definitely not for me.
This is a story about a man mourning the loss of his lover and then finding out his lover volunteered to be killed and cannibalized by a man he met on the Internet.
"Romance" stories that "do not offer a traditional happy ending, but the strong and enduring love will still touch your heart and maybe move you to tears." are SO not my cup of tea.
I personally don't think "romance" and cannibalism should ever be put together in a story or real life. Ever.
This is a story about a man mourning the loss of his lover and then finding out his lover volunteered to be killed and cannibalized by a man he met on the Internet.
"Romance" stories that "do not offer a traditional happy ending, but the strong and enduring love will still touch your heart and maybe move you to tears." are SO not my cup of tea.
I personally don't think "romance" and cannibalism should ever be put together in a story or real life. Ever.
October 21, 2015
I don't know how to rate this so I 'll think about it.
It is very sad. If you kissed your lover goodbye in the morning, then never saw them again - don't read it.
On one hand, it's about a man who suffers the loss of his partner, and his journey through hell. He does all he can to understand. It nearly kills him. This part is not so different from many real life stories. The author writes very well about grief, and loss. About the pain, emptiness, anger, even about the little things that all add up to the mass that is loss.
So, that part of the story is very good. But of course, there is more. Much, much, more.
I won't say much about the act - the cannibalism - because I'm not sure what to think. The author says she wanted to write about why, and I think she succeeds. I didn't like this - the understanding. Who wants to understand a cannibal !!??!!
The author also says the book is about moving on, but all that seemed a bit convenient to me.
So, yeah. It's horrible. But not sensationalist . And terribly sad :(
It is very sad. If you kissed your lover goodbye in the morning, then never saw them again - don't read it.
On one hand, it's about a man who suffers the loss of his partner, and his journey through hell. He does all he can to understand. It nearly kills him. This part is not so different from many real life stories. The author writes very well about grief, and loss. About the pain, emptiness, anger, even about the little things that all add up to the mass that is loss.
So, that part of the story is very good. But of course, there is more. Much, much, more.
I won't say much about the act - the cannibalism - because I'm not sure what to think. The author says she wanted to write about why, and I think she succeeds. I didn't like this - the understanding. Who wants to understand a cannibal !!??!!
The author also says the book is about moving on, but all that seemed a bit convenient to me.
So, yeah. It's horrible. But not sensationalist . And terribly sad :(
October 21, 2015
Sorry,but I gave up at 40%. This book lacked meat,no pun intended. The dialogue was awkward,emotionless. The entire book,or at least what I managed to read,had a flat affect.
The writing was robotic,as were the characters. It was disappointing.
The writing was robotic,as were the characters. It was disappointing.
October 23, 2015
Gripping and based on true events!
This is a very gory story and psychological drama, bordering on horror. Describing it as a bittersweet romance doesn't really do it justice because even though there is a romance within the story it isn't the main focus.
I thought it was a great story and it reminded me of Silence of the Lambs. This is a good story for halloween but definitely NOT for the fainthearted or for people who like happy romances.
Move along happy people!
Although there is actually resolution, peace and a good ending.
This is a very peculiar story dealing with the aftermath of a horrific loss and the miracle of finding new love in utter darkness. Lukas has a wonderful relationship with his boyfriend Bernhard but three years later Bernhard disappears without a trace. Lukas slowly pieces his life together again only to have it shattered when it is discovered that Berhard was part of an online group for cannibals and agreed to be murdered and eaten by one of the group.
Lukas is left wondering why and questioning whether he actually knew Bernhard at all and the story explores the aftermath and Lukas' attempts to understand and to find a way of moving forward.
It is a very well written story and not for amusement. The story goes through a whole gamut of pain and emotions. As someone who has lost a relative to suicide I really appreciated the realistic way the story dealt with the loss and confusion and the coming to terms and eventual moving forward.
It is also very unfortunate that cannibalism does happen as a simple search on the internet will reveal.
On the whole I thought this was an interesting story which held my attention and didn't pull any punches. My only dissatisfaction was with responses of the professionals - the response of the lecturer, some of the police responses and the actions of student rabbi did not ring true for me. I just felt that this wasn't how these professionals would really respond in real life:
The university lecture scene felt a bit unreal. Would a university lecturer really be so stupidly insensitive? I couldn't imagine that happening in any of the Uni's or courses that I have attended and so that part of the story felt exaggerated and along with some of the police procedure kind of undermined the realism of story because it had been very realistic until then.
The story also involves the issue of faith because Lukas is a grad divinity student. I thought this could have been interesting but once again from a professional perspective it felt kind of lightweight with Lukas's classmate (the student rabbi) giving a very pat response to a really horrific issue. I doubt any student rabbi would take such an approach.
So all of these professional responses were somewhat lacking for me and I felt the story would have been stronger if the professional responses had been what professionals would do in real life.
But all in all it was good and an interesting story albeit rather peculiar and disturbing.
(Shiver)
Any one who reads gay literary fiction, darker stories, horror or suspense will probably appreciate this.
This is a very gory story and psychological drama, bordering on horror. Describing it as a bittersweet romance doesn't really do it justice because even though there is a romance within the story it isn't the main focus.
I thought it was a great story and it reminded me of Silence of the Lambs. This is a good story for halloween but definitely NOT for the fainthearted or for people who like happy romances.
Move along happy people!
Although there is actually resolution, peace and a good ending.
This is a very peculiar story dealing with the aftermath of a horrific loss and the miracle of finding new love in utter darkness. Lukas has a wonderful relationship with his boyfriend Bernhard but three years later Bernhard disappears without a trace. Lukas slowly pieces his life together again only to have it shattered when it is discovered that Berhard was part of an online group for cannibals and agreed to be murdered and eaten by one of the group.
Lukas is left wondering why and questioning whether he actually knew Bernhard at all and the story explores the aftermath and Lukas' attempts to understand and to find a way of moving forward.
It is a very well written story and not for amusement. The story goes through a whole gamut of pain and emotions. As someone who has lost a relative to suicide I really appreciated the realistic way the story dealt with the loss and confusion and the coming to terms and eventual moving forward.
It is also very unfortunate that cannibalism does happen as a simple search on the internet will reveal.
On the whole I thought this was an interesting story which held my attention and didn't pull any punches. My only dissatisfaction was with responses of the professionals - the response of the lecturer, some of the police responses and the actions of student rabbi did not ring true for me. I just felt that this wasn't how these professionals would really respond in real life:
The university lecture scene felt a bit unreal. Would a university lecturer really be so stupidly insensitive? I couldn't imagine that happening in any of the Uni's or courses that I have attended and so that part of the story felt exaggerated and along with some of the police procedure kind of undermined the realism of story because it had been very realistic until then.
The story also involves the issue of faith because Lukas is a grad divinity student. I thought this could have been interesting but once again from a professional perspective it felt kind of lightweight with Lukas's classmate (the student rabbi) giving a very pat response to a really horrific issue. I doubt any student rabbi would take such an approach.
So all of these professional responses were somewhat lacking for me and I felt the story would have been stronger if the professional responses had been what professionals would do in real life.
But all in all it was good and an interesting story albeit rather peculiar and disturbing.
(Shiver)
Any one who reads gay literary fiction, darker stories, horror or suspense will probably appreciate this.
October 19, 2015
So I went into this book expecting something different then what you get with this book.. Okay I will say I love horror movies and have seen all of the Hannibal Lector movies so when I tell you this believe me this is the way I felt after reading this. There is a point in a book especially in a horror book to me at least that it can be too graphic. Well the part when he watches he boyfriend that disappeared being eaten alive and it goes into every single detail to the point that I had to stop reading because once you have read something it is in your head which would explain why I am sitting here crying while writing this because what happened was horrible and I could have done without all the details of what happened for the rest of my life! Why would you ever want to see a video like that especially when it was someone you loved!!! I just can't understand that at all...
So being a horror fan I will say this was to much for me and that is saying a lot. I would not call this a romance as much as a very graphic horror novel with a little romance mixed in. Now I thought the author did a excellent job explaining how Lukas worked through everything that had happened so please don't get me wrong I just honestly wish I could unread that part and seriously think this book should come with a warning on just how graphic it really is. I felt like the author did a good job explaining the emotional aspect of what Lukas was going through. I also got were the author was going with this book but all I was left with after reading this was you could never make me understand why one man would want another too eat him. I did not feel like Lukas really got very far working through anything if anything I thought watching everything he did and talking to the man that had done this horrible thing had made everything worse. I honestly don't know what else to say about this book other than I really wish I would have not read that part and I could have gone through the rest of my life without all those vivid details. So I will give this 3 stars because got what the author was trying to have come across in this book with the emotional aspect of trying to work through losing someone you loved in such a horrible way but because of the graphic details and a lot of unanswered questions I have to say this book was just not for me......
I received this book free in exchange for an honest review from Inked Rainbow Reads.
So being a horror fan I will say this was to much for me and that is saying a lot. I would not call this a romance as much as a very graphic horror novel with a little romance mixed in. Now I thought the author did a excellent job explaining how Lukas worked through everything that had happened so please don't get me wrong I just honestly wish I could unread that part and seriously think this book should come with a warning on just how graphic it really is. I felt like the author did a good job explaining the emotional aspect of what Lukas was going through. I also got were the author was going with this book but all I was left with after reading this was you could never make me understand why one man would want another too eat him. I did not feel like Lukas really got very far working through anything if anything I thought watching everything he did and talking to the man that had done this horrible thing had made everything worse. I honestly don't know what else to say about this book other than I really wish I would have not read that part and I could have gone through the rest of my life without all those vivid details. So I will give this 3 stars because got what the author was trying to have come across in this book with the emotional aspect of trying to work through losing someone you loved in such a horrible way but because of the graphic details and a lot of unanswered questions I have to say this book was just not for me......
I received this book free in exchange for an honest review from Inked Rainbow Reads.
maybe
October 21, 2015Edited to add: Wait... Is anyone doing a buddy read? Maybe a drunken buddy read? :hint hint:
That blurb though.
That blurb though.
to-avoid
October 20, 2015Cannibalism and romance?!
Read
October 21, 2015I don't know how to rate this and am not sure I want to.
This was creepy and extremely melancholy.
It's hard to lose someone who decides to take their own life and attempt to understand the thought process of it, but to lose someone this way? To find out your partner, the man you loved consented to be drugged, mutilated, killed and consumed?? It's a fucking lot to process.
I knew pretty much what I was getting into having read a few articles about the actual case the story was based on in 2001. Thankfully, some of those details were left out but the feeling of despair and disgust is still there. Not disgust for the author or the story but just in general. I mean, I have been Vegan for 20 years and the thought of consuming any part of an animal turns my stomach so reading about the consumption of human flesh, wasn't a walk in the part at all.
And my GAWD, the dreams Lukas has are beyond disturbing.
This book, I think, is truly about dealing with the death of someone, really of the suicide of a loved one and how to process them taking their own life and leaving those who love them behind. It's desperate and so hard to understand why they chose to die instead of live... there are parts of the story that do go into that as Lukas tries to understand the choices Bernhard makes but, it's just sad.
I wouldn't call this a romance though Lukas does have someone in his life, the romance if any is almost a triangle between Lukas, Bernhard and shockingly Dietrich who is the cannibal. It's hard to explain but there was so much that shouldn't have been as intimate as it was, and yet, it was.
I don't know, I really don't but the book is basically this in a way.
Ugh. I'm going to go run and do some serious yoga to twist out this twisted story. It's funked with my brain and made it goooey, but not gooey enough to eat. No one wants to know what's in my brain or how it tastes... good lord, did I just say that? I need to go run.
This was creepy and extremely melancholy.
It's hard to lose someone who decides to take their own life and attempt to understand the thought process of it, but to lose someone this way? To find out your partner, the man you loved consented to be drugged, mutilated, killed and consumed?? It's a fucking lot to process.
I knew pretty much what I was getting into having read a few articles about the actual case the story was based on in 2001. Thankfully, some of those details were left out but the feeling of despair and disgust is still there. Not disgust for the author or the story but just in general. I mean, I have been Vegan for 20 years and the thought of consuming any part of an animal turns my stomach so reading about the consumption of human flesh, wasn't a walk in the part at all.
And my GAWD, the dreams Lukas has are beyond disturbing.
“If he wanted to die, why couldn’t he have just jumped off a bridge? Or shot himself? At least I could explain that. I’ve been there. I understand wanting to die, but this… I wouldn’t have to— I can’t— I don’t know why Bernhard would do any of this.” Which is the problem, isn’t it, Lukas thinks, and this situation is too far beyond anyone’s comprehension. “I don’t understand any of this.”
This book, I think, is truly about dealing with the death of someone, really of the suicide of a loved one and how to process them taking their own life and leaving those who love them behind. It's desperate and so hard to understand why they chose to die instead of live... there are parts of the story that do go into that as Lukas tries to understand the choices Bernhard makes but, it's just sad.
I wouldn't call this a romance though Lukas does have someone in his life, the romance if any is almost a triangle between Lukas, Bernhard and shockingly Dietrich who is the cannibal. It's hard to explain but there was so much that shouldn't have been as intimate as it was, and yet, it was.
I don't know, I really don't but the book is basically this in a way.
Fact: Bernhard had been suicidal.
Fact: Bernhard wanted to be eaten, desperately, passionately, so much that it was stronger than his love for Lukas or Peter or himself.
Fact: Bernhard had found a way to fulfill that desire.
Fact: Bernhard was dead.
Fact: Dietrich Luhrman killed him.
Fact: Dietrich ate him. Fact: Lukas would never be able to ask Bernhard why— why he would do such a thing, why he would let this happen, why he needed it, he would film it, just… why.
Ugh. I'm going to go run and do some serious yoga to twist out this twisted story. It's funked with my brain and made it goooey, but not gooey enough to eat. No one wants to know what's in my brain or how it tastes... good lord, did I just say that? I need to go run.
nope-nope-nope
October 19, 2015Ummm... wtf
November 3, 2015
Well, hmmmm. I'm not really sure how to rate this one. It's definitely not for everyone. Cannibalism aside, it's a very sad story. Finding out the one you love isn't who you thought he was. Finding out your love was not enough to keep him from what was essentially committing suicide. My heart hurt for Lukas, but I'm glad he seemed to get some closure and was able to move on.
Want to read
October 21, 2015
I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me that I want to read this.
October 28, 2015
I don't really know how to review this....Damn this was hard to read from Lukas' pov....He went through hell wondering what happened to his boyfriend Bernhard....I think he might have been better of not knowing when he found out the truth...To also know that the cannibalism part was based on fact makes it all the more harder to read...Kristoph was there for Lukas as his new boyfriend...I think Lukas got closure but he went through hell to get it x
not-interested
October 24, 2015You know, if I was starving in the middle of the winter up in Donner Pass, I would absolutely eat my dead compatriot. And, hell, I don't even think there's anything especially morally wrong with eating someone who volunteers to be eaten.
But I don't need to read about it -- and especially not in the guise of romance.
But I don't need to read about it -- and especially not in the guise of romance.
October 30, 2015
$1.00 at DS
Poorly written, all telling, no showing, giving it one star just for the nerve of writing it and calling it a romance.
I'm sure there are one thousand fics that ere written much more skillfully if you care to look for them.
Poorly written, all telling, no showing, giving it one star just for the nerve of writing it and calling it a romance.
I'm sure there are one thousand fics that ere written much more skillfully if you care to look for them.
Read
November 8, 2015Cannibalism always fascinated me.
It's the whole 'I want/love/crave you so much I want you inside of me'...
So this book was not a sexy cannibal romp, but it was fun nevertheless ;) Something out of the box.
It's the whole 'I want/love/crave you so much I want you inside of me'...
So this book was not a sexy cannibal romp, but it was fun nevertheless ;) Something out of the box.
perhaps
October 22, 2015I find it odd that no one has mentioned Rammstein's Mein Teil
November 22, 2015
Wow! I read about the real story this book is based on back when it came to light in Germany. I thought at the time, first, "Who would put an ad out looking for someone to eat?" And second, "Who the hell would answer that ad and become the willing victim?" The psychology of it boggles my mind. Since then, I've researched all over the internet about the victim and his family, and have come up empty.
So this book. The first half was kind of rushed to give some sort of background for the second half. Meh, OK. But the second half was thought-provoking and the FEELS were off the charts! Let's think about that. How would you feel if the love of your life left you TO BE EATEN?! Hmmm? Not left for another, which can be semi-rationally explained. But eaten. I can't even wrap my head around it.
Some parts are pretty gruesome because of the subject matter. Probably not for everyone who doesn't like gore, but this book isn't about the murder itself. It's about the aftermath and what's left behind. I recommend it for people with a strong enough stomach to get through the bad in order to find the good.
So this book. The first half was kind of rushed to give some sort of background for the second half. Meh, OK. But the second half was thought-provoking and the FEELS were off the charts! Let's think about that. How would you feel if the love of your life left you TO BE EATEN?! Hmmm? Not left for another, which can be semi-rationally explained. But eaten. I can't even wrap my head around it.
Some parts are pretty gruesome because of the subject matter. Probably not for everyone who doesn't like gore, but this book isn't about the murder itself. It's about the aftermath and what's left behind. I recommend it for people with a strong enough stomach to get through the bad in order to find the good.
ebooks-sent-to-kindle
September 14, 2016It's worth $1 just to see where in the world the author can go with this story!
November 17, 2015
I bought this because it was a dollar in Dreamspinner Press's Bittersweet Dreams sale and the premise sounded interesting, if one treading a fine line. For those unaware, this novella is based around a true story that happened in Germany of a man who consented to be murdered and eaten. I'd read the articles about this when it happened, as equally repulsed and intrigued by the case and the ethical/consent issues it raised as everybody else.
So this novella is a fictionalized version of this true story, with different names, which assumes the victim had a boyfriend who he left in order to realize his fetish of being cannibalized. The story takes place after the murder, as the boyfriend tries to put his life back together after finding out what happened. This may make some readers a bit uneasy. I know it did for me. I have no problems with historical fiction as the victims of past atrocities and their families have usually passed away by the time the fiction is written, but this was a case from the past ten years, and I couldn't help but wonder what the family of the victim might think about someone making money off of a very real event that probably ruined their lives.
Still, I accepted that as I walked into this. The premise was just that fascinating to me, as the M/M genre could really use somefresh meat new ideas, and I'm hungry longing for some books that don't simply rely on the good old tropes to make a story. Sadly, the writing didn't live up to it. The novella started with such a flavorless dry recounting of events that I almost put it down after the first few pages. We're told about the relationship that the MC, Lukas, has with his partner, Bernhard, until Bernhard simply disappears one day. Lukas struggles to put his life back together and starts dating again, until he finds out what became of Bernhard. There's a lot of telling and not a lot of showing. We're told that Bernhard likes music, but beyond that I never really got much sense of his character at all and generally failed to care about him. The first half of the book really dragged along, peppered garnished padded with some very unrealistic scenarios that pulled me further out of the story. I did not buy that either the cops or the college would act as heartlessly callously as they did to the next of kin of a murder victim, even in such an unusual case.
Then we got to the moment we all knew was coming: the video scene. It was both more graphic than I expected and less gratuitous than it could have been. For the first time in this book, I genuinely felt something, even if that emotion was disgust and revulsion. At that point I did at least start to feel some pity for Lukas. I was glad he was able to move on, though I never really felt his new love interest was all thatfleshed-out interesting. Still, the second half of the novella is why it earns two stars and not just one. If you can get to the meat climax of the story without stopping from sheer boredom, and if you can sit through the video scene without throwing up, the rest of the book is actually quite enjoyable. Still, I can't really recommend this one, as it took far too long to build and glossed over too many important events. It is, however, a quick read and can be consumed read in an hour or so, so if the premise really strikes you, you may still want to try this one.
Reviewer's Note: Christ, is it hard to write a review on a book about cannibalism without the use of inappropriate puns!
So this novella is a fictionalized version of this true story, with different names, which assumes the victim had a boyfriend who he left in order to realize his fetish of being cannibalized. The story takes place after the murder, as the boyfriend tries to put his life back together after finding out what happened. This may make some readers a bit uneasy. I know it did for me. I have no problems with historical fiction as the victims of past atrocities and their families have usually passed away by the time the fiction is written, but this was a case from the past ten years, and I couldn't help but wonder what the family of the victim might think about someone making money off of a very real event that probably ruined their lives.
Still, I accepted that as I walked into this. The premise was just that fascinating to me, as the M/M genre could really use some
Then we got to the moment we all knew was coming: the video scene. It was both more graphic than I expected and less gratuitous than it could have been. For the first time in this book, I genuinely felt something, even if that emotion was disgust and revulsion. At that point I did at least start to feel some pity for Lukas. I was glad he was able to move on, though I never really felt his new love interest was all that
Reviewer's Note: Christ, is it hard to write a review on a book about cannibalism without the use of inappropriate puns!
November 10, 2015
With most books I wait a day or two before writing a review so I can let the story ruminate in my head. In this case I’m writing it almost immediately. Why? Because I want to get this story out of my head.
I think there are some readers who will absolutely love this novella but I am not one of them. The same thing that attracted me to the story is what ultimately ruined it for me—cannibalism.
Yes, that’s right. Cannibalism.
Now while it was the flesh-eating that made me want to read the story I didn’t expect there to be quite so much description of the act. And there is. Lots and lots of words devoted to the act of one man consuming another.
This book is essentially about moving on. Specifically, Lukas trying to move on after his boyfriend Bernhard disappears without a trace. A year after the disappearance Lukas is beginning to get over it when a cop informs him of the truth. Not only was Bernhard killed and eaten by a cannibal but he also wanted it to happen.
Now of course this throws Lukas’s life way off course. Understandable, right. But the way he goes after resolution…let’s just say I did not get where he was coming from.
First of all, there’s a video tape of Bernhard with the killer, Dietrich. It begins before the consumption but continues into it. And Lukas chooses to watch it. That’s when he get this…
“Close to you,” Bernhard mumbles, dragging his fingers through the mess of his blood in Dietrich’s pale beard. “Cut a piece?” he slurs. “It doesn’t hurt that bad. We could share.”
And they do. With a careful precision, Dietrich cuts a piece off Bernhard’s flank with an incredibly sharp knife, cooks it and together they eat it as Bernhard bleeds.
The video isn’t the only time there’s fairly vivid descriptions of the cannibalism. Lukas also has visions involving him, Bernhard and Dietrich. Plus, Lukas visits Dietrich searching for final closure where the killer talks even more about eating Bernhard.
I guess I should’ve expected it considering it was a Bittersweet Dreams title. I was prepared for an unhappy ending, not an almost lovingly written tale of flesh eating.
There were a few other things that added to my dislike of the story. First of all it’s written in present tense and the POV is not deep at all. It barely breaks the surface and I felt more like I was watching a movie from afar than in a character’s head.
There’s also no real reason given why Bernhard volunteered for the deed. The author notes at the end of the book that it was based on a true story. I’m sure IRL there wasn’t a reason either but this is fiction not real life. I would’ve preferred some kind of explanation.
Like I said in the beginning, I’m sure lots of people will like it. They may even love it for the exact same reasons I didn’t enjoy it.
I think there are some readers who will absolutely love this novella but I am not one of them. The same thing that attracted me to the story is what ultimately ruined it for me—cannibalism.
Yes, that’s right. Cannibalism.
Now while it was the flesh-eating that made me want to read the story I didn’t expect there to be quite so much description of the act. And there is. Lots and lots of words devoted to the act of one man consuming another.
This book is essentially about moving on. Specifically, Lukas trying to move on after his boyfriend Bernhard disappears without a trace. A year after the disappearance Lukas is beginning to get over it when a cop informs him of the truth. Not only was Bernhard killed and eaten by a cannibal but he also wanted it to happen.
Now of course this throws Lukas’s life way off course. Understandable, right. But the way he goes after resolution…let’s just say I did not get where he was coming from.
First of all, there’s a video tape of Bernhard with the killer, Dietrich. It begins before the consumption but continues into it. And Lukas chooses to watch it. That’s when he get this…
“Close to you,” Bernhard mumbles, dragging his fingers through the mess of his blood in Dietrich’s pale beard. “Cut a piece?” he slurs. “It doesn’t hurt that bad. We could share.”
And they do. With a careful precision, Dietrich cuts a piece off Bernhard’s flank with an incredibly sharp knife, cooks it and together they eat it as Bernhard bleeds.
The video isn’t the only time there’s fairly vivid descriptions of the cannibalism. Lukas also has visions involving him, Bernhard and Dietrich. Plus, Lukas visits Dietrich searching for final closure where the killer talks even more about eating Bernhard.
I guess I should’ve expected it considering it was a Bittersweet Dreams title. I was prepared for an unhappy ending, not an almost lovingly written tale of flesh eating.
There were a few other things that added to my dislike of the story. First of all it’s written in present tense and the POV is not deep at all. It barely breaks the surface and I felt more like I was watching a movie from afar than in a character’s head.
There’s also no real reason given why Bernhard volunteered for the deed. The author notes at the end of the book that it was based on a true story. I’m sure IRL there wasn’t a reason either but this is fiction not real life. I would’ve preferred some kind of explanation.
Like I said in the beginning, I’m sure lots of people will like it. They may even love it for the exact same reasons I didn’t enjoy it.
November 10, 2015
I don't know what's creepier... the fact that this was based on a TRUE STORY (and this author actually cleaned up the scenario a bit), or realizing that I live in Milwaukee, and quite possibly know someone in the position of this story's narrator. What if your boyfriend disappeared, and it turns out he was one of Jeffrey Dahmer's victims? And it was all over the news, and the media wanted your "feelings about all this"?
And then you find out that there is... a video?
Once I figured out that yes, the author was going to GO THERE, I was curious as to how you could even work with a subject like this, let alone craft a story out of it.
I VERY VERY RARELY read horror fiction (I don't even like angst), but this made me think "challenge accepted." I think the author did a good job of giving the backstory some plausible elements, and while I was well and truly squicked out by the visuals, I still wanted to find out how the characters dealt with finding out something so awful.
I agree with those who say it's not really a romance, but the MC's new relationship is what gives him a safe harbor when he's reeling from another discovery.
And if the cop tells you "don't watch the video" -- Don't. Watch. the. Video.
And then you find out that there is... a video?
Once I figured out that yes, the author was going to GO THERE, I was curious as to how you could even work with a subject like this, let alone craft a story out of it.
I VERY VERY RARELY read horror fiction (I don't even like angst), but this made me think "challenge accepted." I think the author did a good job of giving the backstory some plausible elements, and while I was well and truly squicked out by the visuals, I still wanted to find out how the characters dealt with finding out something so awful.
I agree with those who say it's not really a romance, but the MC's new relationship is what gives him a safe harbor when he's reeling from another discovery.
And if the cop tells you "don't watch the video" -- Don't. Watch. the. Video.
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