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The Franchise Babe
The legendary Dan Jenkins returns with another bawdy, over-the-top novel of hijinks on the links – this time, the LPGA gets the treatment
Jack Brannon, a golf writer in his forties who has been bunkered more than once in the marriage game, covers the sport for the big-time magazine SM . Lately he’s been bored out of his mind writing about the PGA Tour, which he says has become “Tiger and a bunch of slugs playing pushover courses.” So he decides to check out what he calls “the Lolitas,” a new breed of young chicks on the LPGA Tour. Jack chooses as a magazine subject Ginger Clayton, a fiery eighteen-year old with flowing blond locks, legs up to here, and a personality that combines mischief with confidence. With her killer looks and killer game, Ginger looks very much like the kind of star who can take the LPGA to the next level of excitement and acceptance. She is, indeed, The Franchise Babe, and everyone seems to want a part of her.
Jack’s interest in Ginger’s career might have something to do with her mother, Thurlene Clayton, a knockout herself who looks plenty okay in a jacked-up mini-to use Jack’s description of her outfit. As Ginger shows her grit on the ladies’ tour, the greedy hordes looking to benefit from the kid’s talent and personality aren’t the ones who worry Thurlene-and Jack-the most. Someone is trying to knock Ginger out of the competition-permanently.
Jenkins captures the growing buzz around the Franchise Babe and all the insane and hilarious things that happen when the sports world anoints someone new to the throne of super-stardom. Along the way, Jenkins issues bawdy, dead-on takedowns of selfish sports moms, gasbag corporate sponsors, adventurous promoters, sleazy sports agents, point-missing magazine editors, and all the other modern annoyances that make life hard for a guy who, as they say in Texas, is just tryin' to get by without gettin' hurt.
Jack Brannon, a golf writer in his forties who has been bunkered more than once in the marriage game, covers the sport for the big-time magazine SM . Lately he’s been bored out of his mind writing about the PGA Tour, which he says has become “Tiger and a bunch of slugs playing pushover courses.” So he decides to check out what he calls “the Lolitas,” a new breed of young chicks on the LPGA Tour. Jack chooses as a magazine subject Ginger Clayton, a fiery eighteen-year old with flowing blond locks, legs up to here, and a personality that combines mischief with confidence. With her killer looks and killer game, Ginger looks very much like the kind of star who can take the LPGA to the next level of excitement and acceptance. She is, indeed, The Franchise Babe, and everyone seems to want a part of her.
Jack’s interest in Ginger’s career might have something to do with her mother, Thurlene Clayton, a knockout herself who looks plenty okay in a jacked-up mini-to use Jack’s description of her outfit. As Ginger shows her grit on the ladies’ tour, the greedy hordes looking to benefit from the kid’s talent and personality aren’t the ones who worry Thurlene-and Jack-the most. Someone is trying to knock Ginger out of the competition-permanently.
Jenkins captures the growing buzz around the Franchise Babe and all the insane and hilarious things that happen when the sports world anoints someone new to the throne of super-stardom. Along the way, Jenkins issues bawdy, dead-on takedowns of selfish sports moms, gasbag corporate sponsors, adventurous promoters, sleazy sports agents, point-missing magazine editors, and all the other modern annoyances that make life hard for a guy who, as they say in Texas, is just tryin' to get by without gettin' hurt.
240 pages, Hardcover
First published June 3, 2008
11 people are currently reading
68 people want to read
About the author
Dan Jenkins
80 books54 followersDan Jenkins was an American author and sportswriter, most notably for Sports Illustrated.
Jenkins was born and raised in Fort Worth, Texas, where he attended R.L. Paschal High School and Texas Christian University (TCU), where he played on the varsity golf team. Jenkins worked for many publications including the Fort Worth Press, Dallas Times Herald, Playboy, and Sports Illustrated. In 1985 he retired from Sports Illustrated and began writing books full-time and maintained a monthly column in Golf Digest magazine.
Larry King called Jenkins "the quintessential Sports Illustrated writer" and "the best sportswriter in America." Jenkins authored numerous works and over 500 articles for Sports Illustrated. In 1972, Jenkins wrote his first novel, Semi-Tough.
His daughter, Sally Jenkins, is a sports columnist for the Washington Post.
Jenkins was born and raised in Fort Worth, Texas, where he attended R.L. Paschal High School and Texas Christian University (TCU), where he played on the varsity golf team. Jenkins worked for many publications including the Fort Worth Press, Dallas Times Herald, Playboy, and Sports Illustrated. In 1985 he retired from Sports Illustrated and began writing books full-time and maintained a monthly column in Golf Digest magazine.
Larry King called Jenkins "the quintessential Sports Illustrated writer" and "the best sportswriter in America." Jenkins authored numerous works and over 500 articles for Sports Illustrated. In 1972, Jenkins wrote his first novel, Semi-Tough.
His daughter, Sally Jenkins, is a sports columnist for the Washington Post.
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Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews
March 17, 2009
It looked to me from the cover (as pictured) that they were trying to appeal to the sort of readers that like Carl Hiaasen or Tom/Tim/Jim Whatsis - the Florida mystery guys. And who would that be, marfita? Oh, you know - Guys.
There isn't much of a mystery - that's more of an aside really. The story (and real mystery) is about how Dan Jenkins can get away with being deliberately politically incorrect by having his First Person spouting as much Republican WASP Country Club rhetoric passing as humor while the love interest winces, but still loves him.
I recommend this to anyone WITH a six-figure income, a three-car garage, and a country club membership or for someone who is HOPING for that life. You'll be absofrickinlootly delighted.
You know what I thought the best part was? The final golf tournament. And, you know what? I hate golf. It was genuinely exciting and I was really pulling for the vapid teenager.
There isn't much of a mystery - that's more of an aside really. The story (and real mystery) is about how Dan Jenkins can get away with being deliberately politically incorrect by having his First Person spouting as much Republican WASP Country Club rhetoric passing as humor while the love interest winces, but still loves him.
I recommend this to anyone WITH a six-figure income, a three-car garage, and a country club membership or for someone who is HOPING for that life. You'll be absofrickinlootly delighted.
You know what I thought the best part was? The final golf tournament. And, you know what? I hate golf. It was genuinely exciting and I was really pulling for the vapid teenager.
March 12, 2009
Breezy - is that a word for a book reveiw? The 250 or so pages flew by in a few hours of reading, and a few days later I barely remember much of the plot, if you can call it a plot really. As it was a sports book (womens golf) with a sarcastic bent, I enjoyed it and laughed a few times, but would have a hard time recommending it to anyone, especially since Jenkins has about 5 books better than this (I was looking for a different one from him at the library and this is the only one they had).
If, as the Masters is coming up, someone is looking for a humourous story regarding the inside stories of up-and-comers in the golf world...there's probably a few books better, but this will do for a breezy afternoon (there's that word again).
If, as the Masters is coming up, someone is looking for a humourous story regarding the inside stories of up-and-comers in the golf world...there's probably a few books better, but this will do for a breezy afternoon (there's that word again).
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June 5, 2022Was given this as sort of a joke gift by a friend because I play golf. Since this came out way back in the stone ages of 2008, I’m sure no one is trying to read this book. But I figured I save someone the trouble, in case they stumbled upon it at a yard sale or their library.
I knew Dan Jenkins’ reputation as a beloved and respected sportswriter, so at the very least I was hoping this book was going to be well written. Sadly not. Given the cover I was hoping for a least a few raunchy sex scenes, but alas he spent too much time describing every single woman’s outfit and whether or not he thought she was hot enough to have sex with to actually have time to describe a sex scene. How was book, you ask? Well let me summarize as best I can:
-Liberal college professors have ruined the future generation.
-Illegal immigrants are scourge that must be stopped.
-People of Asian descent can’t be real Americans, and there’s far too many of them playing professional golf.
-Young people are all communists and high on drugs.
-If you’re a woman and you play a sport, you’re obviously a lesbian.
-Generally speaking, if you’re not white and a full-blooded Christian American, you don’t deserve respect and basic human decency.
If you’re confused about how all this fits into a novel about a rising teenage golf superstar, let me tell you that it absolutely does not. Dan Jenkins, esteemed golf writer, apparently had so little respect for the women’s tour, or even women who play golf, that he couldn’t even write a 22o page book about it. Besides the overt—and frankly outdated even for 2008—racism, it is quite clear from the dialogue of the main character and every other female character that Mr. Jenkins seldom ever talked to any one of the “fairer sex”. He clearly thought he had come up with a charming and witty protagonist; when in actuality, I’m almost certain he would have been slapped and given a restraining order before the end of the first conversation between him and the love interest (aka the golf mom).
In summary, unless you’re a straight white man in his 50s+ who never changes the tv from Fox News, there’s very little to enjoy in this book. This book is only enjoyable to people who say things like “back in my day, you could call people that” or “the liberal media won’t let you say that”.
I knew Dan Jenkins’ reputation as a beloved and respected sportswriter, so at the very least I was hoping this book was going to be well written. Sadly not. Given the cover I was hoping for a least a few raunchy sex scenes, but alas he spent too much time describing every single woman’s outfit and whether or not he thought she was hot enough to have sex with to actually have time to describe a sex scene. How was book, you ask? Well let me summarize as best I can:
-Liberal college professors have ruined the future generation.
-Illegal immigrants are scourge that must be stopped.
-People of Asian descent can’t be real Americans, and there’s far too many of them playing professional golf.
-Young people are all communists and high on drugs.
-If you’re a woman and you play a sport, you’re obviously a lesbian.
-Generally speaking, if you’re not white and a full-blooded Christian American, you don’t deserve respect and basic human decency.
If you’re confused about how all this fits into a novel about a rising teenage golf superstar, let me tell you that it absolutely does not. Dan Jenkins, esteemed golf writer, apparently had so little respect for the women’s tour, or even women who play golf, that he couldn’t even write a 22o page book about it. Besides the overt—and frankly outdated even for 2008—racism, it is quite clear from the dialogue of the main character and every other female character that Mr. Jenkins seldom ever talked to any one of the “fairer sex”. He clearly thought he had come up with a charming and witty protagonist; when in actuality, I’m almost certain he would have been slapped and given a restraining order before the end of the first conversation between him and the love interest (aka the golf mom).
In summary, unless you’re a straight white man in his 50s+ who never changes the tv from Fox News, there’s very little to enjoy in this book. This book is only enjoyable to people who say things like “back in my day, you could call people that” or “the liberal media won’t let you say that”.
February 13, 2021
The book jacket describes this title as bawdy and over the top. More like misogynist banter the whole way through. It definitely had it’s entertaining moments, and the story line itself was fine. Its hard to identify and get into a story where every woman is viewed as a play thing and sexuality and race are the butt of every other joke.
March 26, 2020
With the library closed I reverted back to my own and some of my trusted favorite authors.
Dan Jenkins is a classic writer who kept me smiling the whole time. I read this first , about 12 years & it holds up great.
Probably the best sports/golf writers there ever was
Dan Jenkins is a classic writer who kept me smiling the whole time. I read this first , about 12 years & it holds up great.
Probably the best sports/golf writers there ever was
October 27, 2019
Witty like Jenkins is. Not his best book, but still stronger than laundry.
February 16, 2022
One of the few writers who consistently makes me laugh.
October 6, 2022
Read in 2008. Jenkins brings his matchless sense of hilarity to this riotous send-up of professional golf.
August 24, 2016
It's hard to go wrong with Dan Jenkins. He is always to have you laughing out loud.
He puts Jack Brannon, a renowned golf writer with Sports Magazine on the LPGA Tour. Jim Tom Pinch, Jenkins's hilarious sportswriting protagonist from You Gotta Play Hurt, passes the baton to Bratton, who happens to share his mentor's eye for beautiful women. Having grown tired of watching Tiger Woods laying waste to the competition on the men's tour, he opts for a scene change.
He discovers a teenaged phenom who is as gorgeous as her mother. As he follows the young player's remarkable success through three tournaments, he manages to flip for the mom. Along the way we are treated to an array of off-beat characters and stories that evoke I preventable snickers, all wrapped around the author's wry wit.
He puts Jack Brannon, a renowned golf writer with Sports Magazine on the LPGA Tour. Jim Tom Pinch, Jenkins's hilarious sportswriting protagonist from You Gotta Play Hurt, passes the baton to Bratton, who happens to share his mentor's eye for beautiful women. Having grown tired of watching Tiger Woods laying waste to the competition on the men's tour, he opts for a scene change.
He discovers a teenaged phenom who is as gorgeous as her mother. As he follows the young player's remarkable success through three tournaments, he manages to flip for the mom. Along the way we are treated to an array of off-beat characters and stories that evoke I preventable snickers, all wrapped around the author's wry wit.
July 13, 2008
No Dan Jenkins book has ever dissappointed. This comic look at the LPGA tour provides everything a Jenkins book always does: a Texan sportswriter, hilarious dialouge and some of the most outlandish names.
While Jenkins books are highly predictable, his writing continues to be some of the most sharp-witted of any sportswriter still going to day.
While Jenkins books are highly predictable, his writing continues to be some of the most sharp-witted of any sportswriter still going to day.
December 13, 2008
Dan Jenkins is a guilty pleasure. He's so non-pc, he's got it patented, I think. But for all that, he's extremely funny and hits the nail on the head more often than not. This book is basically Dan Jenkins takes on the LPGA Tour, and is pretty much classic Jenkins. If you like his work, grab it - it's more of the same great stuff.
February 5, 2009
Dan Jenkins amazingly non politically correct look at the LPGA made me laugh out loud when I was reading it. He comes up with the most amazingly hilarious slang to describe things such as un-prude women and strange situations.
January 10, 2009
Standard Jenkins charcaters and story, this time set in the world of women's golf, the LPGA. That may not sound glowing, but Jenkins writes with such wit and voice that his characters jump off the page. You don't have to be a sports or golf fan to enjoy this. A short, easy, good-time read.
December 14, 2014
I'm always a sucker for a good book about golf. This was funny, cynical, and just plain fun to read. Not to mention the fact that it's still way too cold to go play golf yet, so this is as close as I'll get for a while.
Want to read
June 30, 2008About the LPGA
August 21, 2008
This is an somewhat amusing take off on women's professional golf, parents of young professional athletes. This book is not for whom PC is a must.
March 24, 2009
quick & entertaining if you like golf and really nonPC labels for folks and some "different" style of writing
February 4, 2010
Listened to this one, not sure if it would have been funny to read. Thin plot used as a backdrop for one liners. It did make me laugh.
August 1, 2011
I've forgotten how much I love Dan Jenkins.
August 23, 2009
pure fluff but rather amusing! sports writer decides to cover women's golf instead of mens.
August 15, 2009
Nice escape, and main character is a hoot. References to journalism and golf are a plus.
Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews