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Beyond Borderline: True Stories of Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder
“These survivors hit their mark in helping to change the conversation about borderline personality disorder (BPD)."
— Jim Payne , former president of the National Alliance on Mental Illness
This provocative book uncovers the truth about a misunderstood and stigmatized disorder, and offers an opportunity for a deeper, more empathetic understanding of BPD from the real experts—the individuals living with it. BPD affects a significant percentage of the population. It is a disorder of relationships, one whose symptoms occur most in interpersonal contexts—and thus impact any number of interpersonal connections in life. When people have BPD, they may struggle to manage their emotions on a daily basis, and have to deal with fears of abandonment, anger issues, self-injury, and even suicidality—all of which can lead to even more instability in relationships. In Beyond Borderline , two internationally acclaimed experts on BPD—including Perry Hoffman, cofounder and president of the National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder (NEA-BPD)—team up to present a rare glimpse into the lives and recovery of people affected by BPD. This powerful compilation of stories reveals the deeply personal, firsthand perspectives of people who suffer with BPD, explores the numerous ways in which this disorder has affected their lives, and outlines the most debilitating and misunderstood symptoms of BPD (the most tragic being suicide) . Beyond Borderline delves into the many ways the disorder can present—as well as the many paths to recovery—using evidence-based tools from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), mindfulness meditation, mentalization-based therapy (MBT), and more. BPD is a challenging disorder that impacts people’s lives and relationships in countless ways. With this book—full of intimate accounts that reflect the myriad ways BPD presents and how it affects not just those afflicted, but also their loved ones—you’ll gain a deeper understanding of the disorder and learn how to move forward on the path toward healing while dealing with BPD.
— Jim Payne , former president of the National Alliance on Mental Illness
This provocative book uncovers the truth about a misunderstood and stigmatized disorder, and offers an opportunity for a deeper, more empathetic understanding of BPD from the real experts—the individuals living with it. BPD affects a significant percentage of the population. It is a disorder of relationships, one whose symptoms occur most in interpersonal contexts—and thus impact any number of interpersonal connections in life. When people have BPD, they may struggle to manage their emotions on a daily basis, and have to deal with fears of abandonment, anger issues, self-injury, and even suicidality—all of which can lead to even more instability in relationships. In Beyond Borderline , two internationally acclaimed experts on BPD—including Perry Hoffman, cofounder and president of the National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder (NEA-BPD)—team up to present a rare glimpse into the lives and recovery of people affected by BPD. This powerful compilation of stories reveals the deeply personal, firsthand perspectives of people who suffer with BPD, explores the numerous ways in which this disorder has affected their lives, and outlines the most debilitating and misunderstood symptoms of BPD (the most tragic being suicide) . Beyond Borderline delves into the many ways the disorder can present—as well as the many paths to recovery—using evidence-based tools from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), mindfulness meditation, mentalization-based therapy (MBT), and more. BPD is a challenging disorder that impacts people’s lives and relationships in countless ways. With this book—full of intimate accounts that reflect the myriad ways BPD presents and how it affects not just those afflicted, but also their loved ones—you’ll gain a deeper understanding of the disorder and learn how to move forward on the path toward healing while dealing with BPD.
192 pages, Paperback
First published August 1, 2016
116 people are currently reading
1368 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 42 reviews
June 21, 2019
This book grasps the reality of living with BPD, while simultaneously dispels the myths and stigma associated with the disorder. The stigma with BPD particularly is quite serious and has resulted in severe consequences within treatment, society, availability of resources, treatment access, and so much more. The introduction sums up this stigma nicely.
To suffer so deeply, but to be rejected, invalidated, mocked, and viewed so harshly, is beyond agonizing for those with BPD. After all, one defining feature of BPD is the extreme preoccupations with and reactions to real or perceived rejection and abandonment.
Each story is unique and shares its own insight and understanding into the disorder. What is especially to be noted in this book is how it provides a glimpse into the process and reality of recovery– recovery isn’t a straight, linear, and easy process. With such a chronic condition, management recovery is very possible, but the struggle and strength during the process to progress, as well as the functional impairments that may continue, are not to be ignored. Oftentimes, those impairments that persist are invalidated, but there is a great balance of hope and reality in this book.
It’s important to know that the purpose of the book was to provide multiple short stories that are made to capture a glimpse of the process. When one understands the purpose and type/style of book, it makes sense why it was written the way it was. I too would have liked more in depth stories, as I can see how it sometimes felt like I was reading in the middle of a story, but that is what the editors asked for. Keep that in mind when reading this book.
Overall, this is a hopeful, realistic, and empowering book-- I highly recommend it.
To suffer so deeply, but to be rejected, invalidated, mocked, and viewed so harshly, is beyond agonizing for those with BPD. After all, one defining feature of BPD is the extreme preoccupations with and reactions to real or perceived rejection and abandonment.
Each story is unique and shares its own insight and understanding into the disorder. What is especially to be noted in this book is how it provides a glimpse into the process and reality of recovery– recovery isn’t a straight, linear, and easy process. With such a chronic condition, management recovery is very possible, but the struggle and strength during the process to progress, as well as the functional impairments that may continue, are not to be ignored. Oftentimes, those impairments that persist are invalidated, but there is a great balance of hope and reality in this book.
It’s important to know that the purpose of the book was to provide multiple short stories that are made to capture a glimpse of the process. When one understands the purpose and type/style of book, it makes sense why it was written the way it was. I too would have liked more in depth stories, as I can see how it sometimes felt like I was reading in the middle of a story, but that is what the editors asked for. Keep that in mind when reading this book.
Overall, this is a hopeful, realistic, and empowering book-- I highly recommend it.
February 7, 2017
Seems as though the stories jumped to recovery and didn't detail much of the road that got them to recovery. I was reading the end of a story.
September 11, 2016
I was really interested in reading this book. For many years, I truly believed I might have this disorder. Instead, I was diagnosed with "avoidant personality with cluster C traits" but never understood the differences since they have many of the same "symptoms" stemming from extreme social anxiety and fear.
What I learned is that the differences are paramount. Those with Borderline Personalities (BPD) are likely to be aggressive and violent, whether self-violent or outwardly violent. I have learned that for years, the medical profession has avoided treating this disorder because it was so difficult to get positive results. Gunderson's book is showing that this is no longer true.
Gunderson's writing style is crisp and clear, giving us an inside look at people who are struggling with and overcoming this horrific debilitating disorder. It is hopeful and is best said by one story which states that "...there is hope..." but best of all is the knowledge that although one can overcome this disorder, they will never be what they or their loved ones had once hoped. However, they will become something more than simply a BPD survivor.
What I learned is that the differences are paramount. Those with Borderline Personalities (BPD) are likely to be aggressive and violent, whether self-violent or outwardly violent. I have learned that for years, the medical profession has avoided treating this disorder because it was so difficult to get positive results. Gunderson's book is showing that this is no longer true.
Gunderson's writing style is crisp and clear, giving us an inside look at people who are struggling with and overcoming this horrific debilitating disorder. It is hopeful and is best said by one story which states that "...there is hope..." but best of all is the knowledge that although one can overcome this disorder, they will never be what they or their loved ones had once hoped. However, they will become something more than simply a BPD survivor.
March 8, 2024
It was nice reading the experience of other people with BPD, but at times it felt more like a commercial for DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) as product and only "cure" to BPD rather than an experience sharing or list of tools, it gets tiring to read the same superficial structure over and over "at first I was struggling, but then thanks to DBT I was fine". There was a few interest and rich stories, but most of them felt like a chorus of interiorized ableism listing the difficult traits of BPD rather than a full experience being shared.
The few interesting full stories I rate with 5 stars, but the overall rating of the book I'll leave it with 2 stars because of the description of "it was ok".
The few interesting full stories I rate with 5 stars, but the overall rating of the book I'll leave it with 2 stars because of the description of "it was ok".
March 3, 2025
"I do not think neutral is something I intrinsically understand. I just know pain, these excruciatingly beautiful moments that feel like the world will never be this perfect again, and dull, aching, drowning darkness. The pain cannot be endured without those moments of inescapable joy, and that joy requires me to give so wholly of myself that pain is inevitable. The highest highs and the lowest lows, yet they are so similar."
The prognosis for borderline personality disorder, a condition that "kills 10 percent of those afflicted", as a contributor to this volume puts it matter-of-factly, is remarkably positive, if clinicians are to be believed. In the afterword to this book, John G. Gunderson, MD, restates that fact, writing that BPD symptom remission is no less than 85 percent by ten years after initiating therapy. This slender collection, however, tells a different story. That is not entirely intentional, and partly sample bias, and it makes for a rather depressing read, but one that is frequently heartrending and always sincere.
About 20 contributors share their experience with BPD, their story of recovery, or, if you will, "recovery". Most have not have a particularly good time of it, and still struggle daily: "This disorder is a living hell, but I know it’s not impossible, which is what keeps me going, day by day''; "I am not better yet, but I am more stable"; "I unfortunately still struggle with the condition regularly"; "Post-DBT, I had one suicide attempt, a number of hospitalizations, and still quite a bit of upheaval". So much for "stories of recovery!"
A leading theme of all tales is the fight, the struggle, merely to exist. There is so much perseverance in these people, who have had to face so much. One is permanently scarred, limping, with paralyzed toes, after a particularly hideous session of self-harm involving glass shards, but even she reminds us she is still, literally putting one foot forward after another. There is also a palpable sense of relief at sharing their stories, because so many have had to hide their struggle. The stigma of borderline personality disorder is unrelenting, invasive and seemingly endless. Their fight, consequently, remains invisible:
There is something relentless and profoundly moving about story after story bombarding you with experiences of pain that is so extreme it is nearly unspeakable, almost unthinkable. It is not light reading for by the pool, and few offer real consolation:
But all are still here, still battling, still able to write down their experiences to help others. That is plenty, that is more than enough.
The prognosis for borderline personality disorder, a condition that "kills 10 percent of those afflicted", as a contributor to this volume puts it matter-of-factly, is remarkably positive, if clinicians are to be believed. In the afterword to this book, John G. Gunderson, MD, restates that fact, writing that BPD symptom remission is no less than 85 percent by ten years after initiating therapy. This slender collection, however, tells a different story. That is not entirely intentional, and partly sample bias, and it makes for a rather depressing read, but one that is frequently heartrending and always sincere.
About 20 contributors share their experience with BPD, their story of recovery, or, if you will, "recovery". Most have not have a particularly good time of it, and still struggle daily: "This disorder is a living hell, but I know it’s not impossible, which is what keeps me going, day by day''; "I am not better yet, but I am more stable"; "I unfortunately still struggle with the condition regularly"; "Post-DBT, I had one suicide attempt, a number of hospitalizations, and still quite a bit of upheaval". So much for "stories of recovery!"
A leading theme of all tales is the fight, the struggle, merely to exist. There is so much perseverance in these people, who have had to face so much. One is permanently scarred, limping, with paralyzed toes, after a particularly hideous session of self-harm involving glass shards, but even she reminds us she is still, literally putting one foot forward after another. There is also a palpable sense of relief at sharing their stories, because so many have had to hide their struggle. The stigma of borderline personality disorder is unrelenting, invasive and seemingly endless. Their fight, consequently, remains invisible:
I recently read an article about a girl with multiple sclerosis who runs races and collapses in pain at the end of every race. My every day is a race and at the end of every day, I collapse on my bed, in so much agony, and I never want to get through any other day. But I do. I have to. That’s what living with borderline personality disorder feels like. It feels like an endless fight. It feels like I’ve been treading in stormy waters for days, and I am getting so tired, but no one is around to throw me a life raft, because no one wants to be around me. This runner with MS has a coach who catches her after every race. My only net is the emptiness of my bed and the hollowness of my pillow. Although this runner and I share a similar experience, my story and my experience would never be reported on for public display.
There is something relentless and profoundly moving about story after story bombarding you with experiences of pain that is so extreme it is nearly unspeakable, almost unthinkable. It is not light reading for by the pool, and few offer real consolation:
There are so many ways to elaborate upon how far I have come without really coming very far at all. BPD sucks; the silver linings aren’t silver enough to paint any rosy pictures. There have been many instances where I have screamed out loud to a god that I don’t necessarily believe in, begging him to save me by killing me, as I clawed at myself; also cursing him for the injustice of allowing me to be born at all.
But all are still here, still battling, still able to write down their experiences to help others. That is plenty, that is more than enough.
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October 25, 2024«Living is not something everyone is born with. Some of us have to learn how to do it, over and over again.»
November 27, 2016
Half and half experience. Some stories were really well written and compelling and I flew through them, some stories definitely could've used a better editor which made it difficult to read through. Overall interesting for what it was and worth the read, especially as there are very little books about people with BPD out there.
February 27, 2019
This book was okay but seems like each story ended like, “so yeah I was diagnosed with BPD and DBT helped me recover.” It would be nice to hear about some other things besides DBT that helped people. I understand that it’s effective but still. Also there were a few grammatical errors.
November 30, 2025
Rating: 3 stars..
April 16, 2024
As someone who is training to be a DBT therapist, it was cool to read success stories about recovery from real people, and see how people are using the skills in their lives. There are a lot of positive stories and stories of struggle with underlying hope. The main thing to get out of this is that there is hope and being okay is possible. Which is super important for people with BPD.
It was cool to read so many stories, but I wished that there was more of each. This is a small book with highly summarized stories. I wanted to be connected to the people telling them, but there was just too much missing. Sometimes it felt like they were just picking stories to plug DBT (which is valid because it really does work, but still). If I was editing this book, I'd want longer stories about everything, not just a summarization of someone near the end of their therapeutic journey. But maybe that's in a different book. I did have to read this for a class in my master's program.
In short, I love the hope and the positivity and the truth that's said, but I wanted more. This book is simply okay.
It was cool to read so many stories, but I wished that there was more of each. This is a small book with highly summarized stories. I wanted to be connected to the people telling them, but there was just too much missing. Sometimes it felt like they were just picking stories to plug DBT (which is valid because it really does work, but still). If I was editing this book, I'd want longer stories about everything, not just a summarization of someone near the end of their therapeutic journey. But maybe that's in a different book. I did have to read this for a class in my master's program.
In short, I love the hope and the positivity and the truth that's said, but I wanted more. This book is simply okay.
July 13, 2023
This is very good for those who know, are close to, or is someone with borderline personality disorder ("BPD"). The 20 accounts or so written by BPD survivors are excellent in describing the common symptoms and experiences of those who have been diagnosed as having BPD.
Although, at times, the accounts seemed skewed towards favoring dialectical behavioral therapy ("DBT") as the favored treatment for BPD, as opposed to other evidence-based treatments, some of the accounts help verify that there are other efficacious treatments (like psychodynamic therapy) for BPD.
The most important thing is that these stories validate what many, if not most, BPD sufferers experience due in large or most part to their not receiving sufficient emotional validation in their childhoods.
Although, at times, the accounts seemed skewed towards favoring dialectical behavioral therapy ("DBT") as the favored treatment for BPD, as opposed to other evidence-based treatments, some of the accounts help verify that there are other efficacious treatments (like psychodynamic therapy) for BPD.
The most important thing is that these stories validate what many, if not most, BPD sufferers experience due in large or most part to their not receiving sufficient emotional validation in their childhoods.
July 23, 2019
As someone with BPD (still sorta new), this book let me into the minds of other people with BPD. Especially helpful because of how hard it is to talk about BPD symptoms. I also appreciated that each of the 24 essays was written by someone different, while this was sometimes confusing, I liked hearing from more voices.
For someone who doesn't have BPD but knows someone with BPD, this book might be difficult to read but would definitely "shed some light" on BPD's difficulties.
(CW mental illness stuff)
I could see that other people have dealt with missing memories, suicidal thoughts, cutting, how great cutting felt, and how difficult all emotions are... It made me feel less alone.
.
For someone who doesn't have BPD but knows someone with BPD, this book might be difficult to read but would definitely "shed some light" on BPD's difficulties.
(CW mental illness stuff)
I could see that other people have dealt with missing memories, suicidal thoughts, cutting, how great cutting felt, and how difficult all emotions are... It made me feel less alone.
.
July 4, 2023
I love that this book exists and gives insight into personal stories from actual people with BPD instead of textbooks spoken on-high from science-y psychologists. I was frustrated that although BPD affects more women than men (or at least more women are diagnosed), the audiobook was narrated by a man when most of the stories were by women, and the forward writer and co-editor were men. I was glad to find out that at least the other co-editor (Perry Hoffman) is a woman.
Hearing the wide ranging stories of symptom severity, career success, and level of treatment obtained helped de-stigmatize and bring humanness to a very misunderstood personality disorder.
Hearing the wide ranging stories of symptom severity, career success, and level of treatment obtained helped de-stigmatize and bring humanness to a very misunderstood personality disorder.
August 27, 2023
Though I lost interest in some of the stories, I think this does a somewhat good job of conveying the diverse experiences of people with borderline personality disorder. The afterward does mention a good point that the accounts are somewhat biased since everyone who contributed was somehow connected to a treatment team or therapist. The reality is that most people with bpd go untreated.
The world has a huge lack of empathy (or even sympathy) for “borderlines” and most people think they are manipulative psychopaths. I think this book helps show that the truth lies in the fact that the disorder is rooted in severe childhood trauma - more than any other mental illness, even PTSD.
The world has a huge lack of empathy (or even sympathy) for “borderlines” and most people think they are manipulative psychopaths. I think this book helps show that the truth lies in the fact that the disorder is rooted in severe childhood trauma - more than any other mental illness, even PTSD.
December 22, 2023
I think I may have misunderstood what to expect from this book. As someone who doesn't fully understand BPD, I had hoped this would offer more insight into how this is diagnosed, symptoms, as well as treatment and theories around whether people are born with it or not. Around these ideas, I had presumed one of the 12 stories would be used to help understand it better. Instead I felt like I was reading a stream of disconnected consciousness expecting you to understand and recognise the disorder. As brave as it was for these people to share their stories, I'm still left confused about what they were recovering from.
January 8, 2023
This was a helpful book to read because it gives a sense of hope and a wide range of experiences for those who have BPD. So many people from the general population and mental health professionals stigmatize and demonize this disorder and speak from a place of bias and prejudice. This book is one of the best books I’ve read about BPD and I recommend it for those who have the disorder and those who want to learn more.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 4, 2017
A great collection of essays from a number of individuals dealing with borderline personality disorder and going through various stages of recovery. It is an excellent source of support for others, who may feel that they are alone or crazy. It helps see the horizons beyond the suffering and pain of BPD.
February 12, 2020
Within these pages there is nothing but power and strength. Powers to fight the stigma tied with BPD and strength from the 24 individuals who shared bits of their experiences with before and after receiving their diagnosis. As someone with BPD themselves it was just simply something that made me not feel alone
April 30, 2021
This is one of the most important books I’ve ever read. As someone with a recent diagnosis, this book is a must-read for anyone struggling with BPD.
“It was weirdly purifying, comforting even. I was part of a classification of people with similar issues - not just a girl alone in the middle of the ocean trying to stay above water. For the first time, I had found hope.”
“It was weirdly purifying, comforting even. I was part of a classification of people with similar issues - not just a girl alone in the middle of the ocean trying to stay above water. For the first time, I had found hope.”
April 3, 2025
I was not really impressed with this one. For starters, I felt like the stories shared were surface level and didn't discuss the deeper reasons that Borderline Personality Disorder was diagnosed, and more importantly, they didn't share one story of a male client with borderline. They were all female. How's that for sexism??
November 1, 2025
this book wasn’t as hopeful as the title and blurb suggested, but rather further clarified how painful this disorder is. it serves more as a outlet for suffers to give their testimonials and broader-picture accounts of the illness (as well as acclaim for DBT). there’s a great sense of community and humanisation within these chapters, this book says this diagnosis sucks but we’re not alone.
November 6, 2025
As someone who is suffering from borderline, it gave stories of how they went through the things they did but there was no insight into the journey of recovery. It didn’t give me enough backstory or information on how they got better. Just the end story. As someone who needs help in recovery, that is crucial information and there was none of it.
December 17, 2025
I didn’t want to comment, but I noticed many people saying there aren’t enough details. However, as someone with BPD, I found the book to be sufficient. I felt very relatable to the content. Additionally, I appreciated that the book primarily focused on experiences before diagnosis, including common setbacks, denials, relapses, and, most importantly, the successful ending.
November 14, 2019
Each chapter is a different person’s account of living with BPD. Some of the contributions weren’t very well-written (they read more like an informational timeline) but the majority were interesting, honest accounts, and I did find some very insightful and relatable bits.
June 17, 2023
Must read for anyone diagnosed with BPD or in close contact with someone with the disorder. Although I believe some stories needed a bit more editing, I'm basing my rating on the meaningful message this book conveys and the fact that this message comes from non-writers battling BPD.
April 3, 2018
Great book
Amazing book, it was very touching. It was well put together and John Gunderson did a great job with the book
Amazing book, it was very touching. It was well put together and John Gunderson did a great job with the book
May 18, 2018
A little bit to on the surface for me. Wish it had gone into more detail on how these people recovered or started to.
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January 14, 2020Interesting stories from people with a challenging mental illness.
February 6, 2020
Although the stories were compelling and some up lifting, too many of the stories I believe were not far enough in there recovery to be put in a recovery compilation novel.
October 26, 2020
Interesting to delve into these stories but I do wish more was focused on the traumas to precede the experiences with BPD.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 42 reviews