Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts: A CBT-Based Guide to Getting Over Frightening, Obsessive, or Disturbing Thoughts

by Sally M. Winston, Martin N. Seif

You are not your thoughts! In this powerful book, two anxiety experts offer proven-effective cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) skills to help you get unstuck from disturbing thoughts, overcome the shame these thoughts can bring, and reduce your anxiety.

If you suffer from unwanted, intrusive, frightening, or even disturbing thoughts, you might worry about what these thoughts mean about you. Thoughts can seem like messages—are they trying to tell you something? But the truth is that they are just thoughts, and don’t necessarily mean anything. Sane and good people have them. If you are someone who is plagued by thoughts you don’t want—thoughts that scare you, or thoughts you can’t tell anyone about—this book may change your life.

In this compassionate guide, you’ll discover the different kinds of disturbing thoughts, myths that surround your thoughts, and how your brain has a tendency to get “stuck” in a cycle of unwanted rumination. You’ll also learn why common techniques to get rid of these thoughts can backfire. And finally, you’ll learn powerful cognitive behavioral skills to help you cope with and move beyond your thoughts, so you can focus on living the life you want. Your thoughts will still occur, but you will be better able to cope with them—without dread, guilt, or shame.

If you have unwanted thoughts, you should remember that you aren’t alone. In fact, there are millions of people just like you—good people who have awful thoughts, gentle people with violent thoughts, and sane people with “crazy” thoughts. This book will show you how to move past your thoughts so you can reclaim your life!

Genres: Psychology, Self Help, Nonfiction, Mental Health, Health, Audiobook, Personal Development

192 pages, Paperback

First published March 1, 2017

Reviews

[Paulo Henrique · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was able to solve my problems with intrusive thoughts in the first hour of reading. It is amazing how the autors avoid common sense alternatives and focus only in scientific CBT techniques. I highly recommend it.

[Jo (The Book Geek) · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think this book is excellent for an individual that is suffering from unwanted intrusive thoughts. There isn't a jargon overload, and it is written so that it may be understood by anyone. This book is also an aid to a person with an anxiety disorder. Anxiety is sometimes shrugged off, or even tittered about, but it is not something to be taken lightly. Without the correct help, anxiety can be allowed to grow into something that is essentially, life debilitating.
The psychologists that wrote this, break down the effects that anxiety has on our bodies and our minds. It is really very interesting, and it is something I could dip into at a future date.

[Brittany Findley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is absolutely life changing for those with "scary" intrusive thoughts. The two psychiatrists break the stereo type that if you have a uncomfortable thought, it doesn't define you as a person. This book helped me put my anxiety in perspective, but there is lots of work to be done with me and my anxiety.

Sally M. Winston & Martin N. Seif go through exercises that could change your life and could help free your mind. Most therapists don't specialise in this type of psychology of the brain but these two do. They break down how anxiety works and how the psyche / body responds to the anxiety. The tough part is retraining your brain on how to respond to the intrusive thoughts, which can take time as they point out in this book. If you're ready for change, be prepared that it takes time, and it takes practice to silence your mind. I give this book a defiant 5/5.

[Julia Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book. It has helped me manage my intrusive thoughts. A few months ago I experienced what I think was my first unwanted intrusive thought, a thought that just took over my life completely. The thought made me have panic attacks and I ended up taking anti depressants and seeing a therapist for a few months. Just because this random thought popped into my head and I thought it said something about my character. It’s crazy how a single thought can cause a person so much distress if the person (me in this instance) doesn't understand that it is just a thought. It cannot hurt you, even though it might feel like it has taken over your life and mind. It hasn't, it just your belief that it has. Over the following months I was so scarred of my own thoughts, "what if?" thoughts took over my life.
I had never experienced such a paralyzing fear before and I became someone I didn't recognize. But I am so thankful that I found this book. I found it when I felt almost normal again and this book was like the cherry on top. It put a name to what I was experiencing and that was everything. Turns out I'm not crazy, weird or disgusting. Apparently I'm like everyone else. Who knew.

This book gives the reader tools to handle their intrusive thoughts so they don't rule your life, it teaches you to see your thoughts in a new way, they become less threatening, less scary and they become exactly what they are, thoughts. As they should be. It gives me comfort knowing that this book will always be available to me if I should ever need to go back and read a few passages again. And I recommend this book to anyone suffering from thoughts that stick and scare you the more you try to get rid of them. This book will help you. You are not weird, you are very normal.

[Andrea Murphy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Struggled for years until this book

I finally understand how to LET IT GO. I suffer from unwanted intrusive thoughts daily and I have finally learned to let them go thanks to this book. I’m constantly a work in progress. I haven’t read a single other book that’s helped with calming anxious thoughts down. I plan to continue to practice these methods outlined in the book. Overall, so incredibly well written. As someone who suffers from anxiety I could feel my anxiety lessening every single page. Thank you so much for writing this!

[Scottsdale Public Library]

I'll preface this review by "outing" myself as someone who has long enjoyed a good self-help book that elicits at least one "Ah HAH!" moment from me! After discovering this title in the library and flipping through it, I soon found I couldn't put it down. It outlines wonderful tools for dealing with intrusive thoughts many/most of us have, be they very dark, shocking and frightening (and the authors deal with these quite a bit in this book), or simply nagging anxieties that we can't seem to shake, even though we might tell ourselves they're irrational or illogical. The authors explain how we wind up getting tangled up in them, and then how to just let go. The key phrase for me was: "Neither thoughts nor feelings are facts". Let that one sink in; it's quite freeing, isn't it? - Jess O.

[K · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is really helpful, clear, easy to read, and affirming. More time is spent assuring the reader that the thoughts are okay, and talking about where they are coming from versus solutions for the thoughts. However, the solutions are there and they seem like they will be really helpful. I think this book is good for people who are taking additional mental health steps, and want to do some self work before bringing this up in therapy. But yeah, overall I recommend.

[Canem · Rating 5 out of 5]

"The path to the other side of the storm where all is calm is through it. We can't outrun it or circle around it. But if we walk forward through it, it does not take long to pass."

I want to personally thank both Sally M. Winston and Martin N. Seif for writing this powerful book. Everybody experiences unwanted intrusive thoughts, but for some people they can become stuck, be more distressing and cause anxiety. Not only do the authors make you feel normal and understood, but they also provide simple, and comprehensible solutions that are easy to apply on your own. And they work!

I loved how compassionately this book was written. Both co-authors are absolute specialists in this specific field, and they just get it. Meanwhile, it is easy to read, and at times even funny!

If you are someone who suffers from unwanted intrusive thoughts, please read this book. It is an absolute life-changer.

[Alayna · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book completely reshaped the way i think about anxiety and obsessive thinking and—i mean this—honestly changed my life.

i'm not 100% all the time, but reading this book gave me a pathway to move on from a time when i felt mentally exhausted, and i'm saying this publicly so that someone else will hopefully see this and understand that the $9 i spent on this ebook was beyond worth it. i am very thankful for it and i reference it often.

[Alan · Rating 3 out of 5]

CBT-informed discussion of intrusive thoughts: what they are, why they are there, and how to attempt to deal with them. Importantly, this is not an OCD-focused book. It's purely the O (obsessions). Not that it said it was, but that will be important to know. Seif and Winston have used the convention of personifying the thoughts as different "voices" in other books as well, which I think works fantastically for a lay audience.

[Jay · Rating 2 out of 5]

Unfortunately, this book only applies to a very specific kind of intrusive thought. This book is for people who, when they get the occasional off-the-wall thought like, "I could throw this baby off the balcony!" their brain just latches on and turns it into an infinite loop of horror where they avoid babies and balconies all together. I am glad this book exists for those people. However, near the beginning of this book (that really could have been a pamphlet) a bunch of different types of intrusive thoughts that this book can supposedly help with are mentioned, such as memories of trauma and fixation on body sensations (ie - my clothes are uncomfortable) and these kinds of thoughts just never come up again. I found the tone of this book largely condescending and the content bloated and repetitive beyond belief.

[L.A. Jacob · Rating 2 out of 5]

This short book was long on symptoms, short on resolutions. It made me comfortable that I'm not alone, but did not put my mind at ease. I felt so short-changed at the end that I ended up tossing it. The "recovery" is so simple, yet so very, very hard.

[Peggy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a godsend. Unwanted intrusive thoughts are something I've struggled with my entire life. This book is great at explaining the causes of these thoughts, why some people are more susceptible to them than others, and providing a plan for how to deal with them. Highly recommended if this is something you struggle with.

[Cari · Rating 3 out of 5]

As someone who struggles with obsessive thoughts, I felt like this was actually a really beneficial read. As other reviews have said, I didn’t feel like it was a jargon overload and liked the way the chapters were divided. Hearing exact examples of the same obsessive thoughts I have certainly made me feel less alone and excited to retrain my brain LOL

[Kathleen Duffy · Rating 5 out of 5]

NetGalley provided this book in exchange for an honest review.

* Great examples trickled throughout the advice and research to really hammer home the point.
* Information is outlined and organized well.
* Jargon isn't too complicated.
* Could help shift your perspective toward yourself.
* Highly recommend to anyone with anxiety or similar disorders!

[Tree ✶.˚⟡ ࣪ ⋆ · Rating 2 out of 5]

While this seems relatable at times, it’s very repetitive and it certainly does not provide any profound advice to help accept or rid yourself of intrusive thoughts.

[رغد الظاهري Badr · Rating 5 out of 5]

كان رفيقي في رحلة الوهن، كتاب رائع جدًا ومفيد في بابه.

[Drew Hutchinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this on the metro so no one sits next to you >>

[Hailey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read it. So I need credit for it. Even though it’s outing my mental health.

[Eve · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've been struggling with intrusive thoughts lately, and this book makes me feel less alienated or scared. I still don't dare to face the horrible thoughts now, but now that I'm aware reassurance seeking and distraction will only makes the symptoms worse in the long run, I hope I can gather the courage to face my fear soon. P.s. this book makes me want to give my amygdala a tight hug. I appreciate how hard it works to make sure I'm alerted to possible dangers, but I just want it to rest for a while and know that I'm actually safe in the present moment. A week ago, my intrusive thoughts were so bad that I can't do anything other than seek reassurance and cry because of the panic attacks. Even now, there's still this dread and sense of impending doom within me. I can't go through a day peacefully without thinking things might go terribly wrong the next second, I start to scrutinize my own life anxiously while hoping the coincidences aren't bad signs from the universe, and I can't differentiate thoughts from premonitions. It's so tiring and I just want it to stop :(

[Emily Katy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have no doubt that this book will change and save people’s lives. This is the best self-help book I have ever read and everybody who struggles with intrusive thoughts or OCD should read this. This is a life-changing, practical, clear guide for people struggling with frightening, obsessive or disturbing thoughts. Thank you to the authors for putting this into the world.

[Jessica Rush · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you have anxiety and have ever struggled with intrusive thoughts, READ THIS BOOK. So thankful for my friend who recommended it to me!

[Nancy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't actually get intrusive thoughts (lucky 10%!) so my favourite part of this book was reading through it all with a general polite interest until I got to the section on seeking professional help and I was like oh, those are the kinds of thoughts I do get, and then the book is like yeah we can't help you. Go find a therapist 👍

As a casual reader, this was interesting. A little repetitive and overly religious but an easy read. It gave good insight on what having intrusive thoughts might feel like, it had a very supportive and kind "narrative voice", and it offered a genuine action plan. Even though I don't get intrusive thoughts, it still provided a framework with which I could better understand my own ways of thinking.

[Morgan Stewart · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars

Oiii, there’s a lot to unpack here.

I didn’t really know what to expect with this book. I wanted help on dealing with my catastrophe-zing thoughts. Did this help with these “sticky” thoughts, sure. However, I did find some confusing and odd (?) theories. For me, this was definitely an “eat out the meat and spit out the bones” type of book.

This is a late entry, but I’m finally going back and adding these books to my GRs!

I finished this book as part of a “book boot camp” challenge! See my full video review below ❤️📚

I Read 7 Best-Selling Books on Anxiety and had this *breakthrough* with my panic disorder... https://youtu.be/Uv69N6O9Cgo

[Niki Vervaeke · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bijlezen in de vakantie, het is ook een vorm van zelfzorg

Interessant en toegankelijk boek over hoe omgaan met opdringerige of 'vreemde' gedachten die je beangstigen, waarvan je in de war raakt, die je in je hoofd laten vastzitten

ik herken veel elementen uit de huidige ACT , ook technieken die daar gebruikt worden ikv defusie van gedachten, handig extra boek om te werken rond CGT.

https://www.humanistischverbond.be/kr...

[Nacoma Hollatz · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book helped me understand OCD brains a lot. Definitely recommend to anyone who struggles with it or wants to understand it better. 🤍

[lacie]

A great tool for anyone with OCD, or struggling to figure out if you have OCD. I recommend this book to my patients often.

[Becky Brookfield · Rating 5 out of 5]

Listened to this as an audiobook as I think I’d struggle to keep focused if I read it. But what a game changer for anyone with anxious/ocd related intrusive thoughts!!! My therapist recommended this to me, and it is the only resource that I’ve found (aside from therapy) that has genuinely helped and given concrete, clear, and constructive tips. It’s actively changed the way I view my intrusive thoughts. Anyone struggling should give this a go!!!!

[Narmeen · Rating 2 out of 5]

Whilst the aim of the book is well intended with a detailed understanding on intrusive thoughts and how the mind responds to them, the execution of these ideas is quite simply stupid. The tips in here to combat such thoughts are borderline psychotic. For instance, it suggests that we shouldn't avoid negative surroundings but rather force ourselves to live within these thoughts until they become meaningless instead of cutting down anxiety inducing spaces. I find it counterintuitive to bombard ourselves with constant toxic people/thoughts in order for us to manage anxiety. I can say from personal experience that blocking what makes you anxious is helpful in moving on with your life. Negative spaces breed negative outcomes. This book's advice is to turn these thoughts into a song, a rhyme, a mantra, constantly say them out loud in front of the mirror, be anal with them, think them and only them, make them so obsessive that they eventually stop causing you anxiety. This very likely will drive me to insanity.

However, this book made me aware with the idea of separating thoughts into 3 categories. For that reason alone, it gets 2 stars instead of 1.
The 3 categories being:-
Worried Voice: I don't think I'm ever going to get a job.
False Comfort: Yes, you will. You're the best.
Wise Mind: I may have a hard time looking for a job but I have the qualifications and experience needed to get a job. So remain optimistic and try your best because the only way to find the answer to this anxiety is by putting yourself out there.

Somehow though, it found a way to even mess this concept up as well. It said, the Worried Voice is going to tell us that we will never be fixed. False Comfort will say this is the cure, you tackle your anxiety by facing it with forced optimism and it wont ever come back. Wise Mind will say they actually won't come back (with the exception of setbacks) if you implement the psychotic practice of repeating bad thoughts to yourself over and over again. If I had to speak on behalf of Wise Mind in this example I'd use the Sheryl Paul approach of facing my fears by turning them into challenges that help me grow. I believe this book was trying to use this ideology but as I stated above it failed to reach its audience the way it intended to. Sheryl Paul did a far superior job in writing The Wisdom of Anxiety: How Worry and Intrusive Thoughts Are Gifts to Help You Heal and I'd recommend her work over any other CBT based books.

My final takeaway from this not-so-good book is the idea of "sticky thoughts". Intrusive thoughts can become sticker thoughts when one is sleep deprived or hungry or in a physically/emotionally weak state thereby making some thoughts more susceptible to anxiety than others.

Terrible, poorly written book. It makes claims with no citations or case studies. It says things like ‘asking God to take these thoughts away will actually make them worse’ but doesn’t support it with any evidence. Also, isn’t talking to God kind of like repeating thoughts to yourself? I thought repeating thoughts back to yourself was part of the CBT exercise this book encourages...so it didn’t even stay consistent with its own “suggestions”.

[Elari · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book will probably be useful to those whose problem is described in here (I was looking for something about anxious rumination instead). Still a nice book, I think, although one thing that irked me was how the authors focused on the main topic so exclusively that they neglected possibilities that didn't fall under the umbrella of "intrusive thoughts". For example:

Hypothetical reader: "I'm having this and that sexual thought involving children, does that mean I'm a pedophile?"
Book: "No. Your thoughts don't say anything about your character."
Wait a minute, book! You can't know this for sure!

Hypothetical reader: "I keep feeling the urge to jump out the window. Does that mean I'm suicidal?"
Book's answer: "No. We will call these intrusive thoughts, not suicidal thoughts."
Come on, book! You can't just say that!

These are isolated passages and maybe I shouldn't be nitpicking. What I'm saying is, it's a nice, potentially helpful book-- just don't rely on it for diagnostic purposes.

Edit: okay, so it turns out the very last chapter titled When to Seek Professional Help clarifies these exact two points (pedophilia and suicidal thoughts). Be sure to check it out if you have any doubts.