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Vaca Sagrada
Uma fábula moderna sobre a revolucionária odisseia de uma vaca, de um porco e de um peru.
Elsie é uma vaca feliz. Passa os dias a comer, a dormir e adora a quinta e os fazendeiros. Mas, um belo dia, aproxima-se da casa dos fazendeiros e, através da janela, vê uma televisão onde está a passar um horroroso programa sobre «produção industrial de carne». E o mundo de Elsie cai a seus pés. Ou melhor, patas.
Apenas uma solução se apresenta: fugir para um mundo melhor e mais seguro. Mas não vai sozinha: rapidamente se juntam a ela o peru Tom, que não sabe voar mas é ágil a usar um iPhone; e o porco Jerry, ou melhor, Shalom, recém-convertido ao Judaísmo.
Elsie tem tanto de filósofa e viajante quanto de hábil narradora, cheia de referências pop e nerd e um humor muito peculiar Tom é um peru psicanalista que aprenderá a voar. Shalom é rejeitado pelo povo que adota mas acaba por ser um diplomata involuntário. Deixe-se surpreender por estes carismáticos heróis – e pelas lições morais e de vida que lhe vão dar.
Quem diria que uma visão do mundo de uma vaca seria tão divertida e, ao mesmo tempo, tão honesta e verdadeira? Vaca Sagrada é um livro inteligente e divertido desde a primeira página.
Elsie é uma vaca feliz. Passa os dias a comer, a dormir e adora a quinta e os fazendeiros. Mas, um belo dia, aproxima-se da casa dos fazendeiros e, através da janela, vê uma televisão onde está a passar um horroroso programa sobre «produção industrial de carne». E o mundo de Elsie cai a seus pés. Ou melhor, patas.
Apenas uma solução se apresenta: fugir para um mundo melhor e mais seguro. Mas não vai sozinha: rapidamente se juntam a ela o peru Tom, que não sabe voar mas é ágil a usar um iPhone; e o porco Jerry, ou melhor, Shalom, recém-convertido ao Judaísmo.
Elsie tem tanto de filósofa e viajante quanto de hábil narradora, cheia de referências pop e nerd e um humor muito peculiar Tom é um peru psicanalista que aprenderá a voar. Shalom é rejeitado pelo povo que adota mas acaba por ser um diplomata involuntário. Deixe-se surpreender por estes carismáticos heróis – e pelas lições morais e de vida que lhe vão dar.
Quem diria que uma visão do mundo de uma vaca seria tão divertida e, ao mesmo tempo, tão honesta e verdadeira? Vaca Sagrada é um livro inteligente e divertido desde a primeira página.
224 pages, Paperback
First published February 3, 2015
270 people are currently reading
5537 people want to read
About the author
David Duchovny
18 books1,333 followersBorn and raised in New York City David Duchovny earned an A.B. in English literature from Princeton University, and an ABD in English literature from Yale University. He was on the road to earning his Ph.D. when his interest in playwriting led him to acting. Subsequently, he emerged to become one of the most highly acclaimed actors in Hollywood.
Globally known for his roles in the Fox Television’s monster hit The X-Files and Showtime's Californication, David has made his way into our pop culture lexicon. David Duchovny remains the only actor to have won a Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Television series in both the Comedy and Drama categories.
David Duchovny has published four novels, Holy Cow: A Modern-Day Dairy Tale (2015), a New York Times Bestseller; Bucky F*cking Dent (2016); Miss Subways (2018) and Truly Like Lightning (2021).
Additionally, David Duchovny has completed two studio albums, Hell or Highwater (2015) and Every Third Thought (2018), and his third album is slated for release in summer 2021.
Globally known for his roles in the Fox Television’s monster hit The X-Files and Showtime's Californication, David has made his way into our pop culture lexicon. David Duchovny remains the only actor to have won a Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Television series in both the Comedy and Drama categories.
David Duchovny has published four novels, Holy Cow: A Modern-Day Dairy Tale (2015), a New York Times Bestseller; Bucky F*cking Dent (2016); Miss Subways (2018) and Truly Like Lightning (2021).
Additionally, David Duchovny has completed two studio albums, Hell or Highwater (2015) and Every Third Thought (2018), and his third album is slated for release in summer 2021.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,661 reviews
February 2, 2015
If by any chance you fancy a novel of total hilarious insanity with a touch of emotional resonance and a unique twist then Holy Cow is absolutely the book for you.
Completely crazy – yes. Fun? Absolutely. Eminently readable and definitely unexpected? Yes again. I loved it, read it fast (it is not a long book) and thoroughly fell in love with Elsie, Shalom and co. ESPECIALLY Tom the Turkey who is certainly far more intelligent than most humans I know including myself.
David Duchovny has managed to send a little social message without actually preaching at anyone, has created a wonderful little world here that will have you both laughing out loud and looking at the Cow in the field next to you in a contemplative fashion, it is a totally bonkers adventure, beautifully written with a touch of insanity.
Fairly sure after reading this that the author is slightly bonkers as well in the best way possible of course. I hope he writes more! Not an awful lot more to say so I’ll keep this short and sweet.
Highly Recommended.
Completely crazy – yes. Fun? Absolutely. Eminently readable and definitely unexpected? Yes again. I loved it, read it fast (it is not a long book) and thoroughly fell in love with Elsie, Shalom and co. ESPECIALLY Tom the Turkey who is certainly far more intelligent than most humans I know including myself.
David Duchovny has managed to send a little social message without actually preaching at anyone, has created a wonderful little world here that will have you both laughing out loud and looking at the Cow in the field next to you in a contemplative fashion, it is a totally bonkers adventure, beautifully written with a touch of insanity.
Fairly sure after reading this that the author is slightly bonkers as well in the best way possible of course. I hope he writes more! Not an awful lot more to say so I’ll keep this short and sweet.
Highly Recommended.
February 15, 2015
Did not finish (*could!!* not finish). Clever premise, horrible delivery. Unless you want to read a book narrated by a cow who peppers her speech with every annoying of-the-moment turn of phrase ('cray cray', for example), pop culture reference, and lots of 'wait til you see what happens next' and 'did you see how i did that? my editor said I needed to' comments to the reader, this one's definitely a book to skip.
September 7, 2014
This is the most bonkers book you may ever read. My advice is to leave all sense of reality at the title page and just enjoy the ride. And what a ride it is. A cow escapes her paddock one day and instead of flirting with the bulls, she goes up to the farm house. There she learns the truth, that humans eat cows. Suddenly she realises where her mother went...
This realisation makes the cow see she needs to escape. She learns of India, where cows are sacred, and she makes a plan to go there. A pig and turkey also learn of her plan and beg to go too. The pig, who changes his name to Shalom, dreams of Israel where his kind are deemed revolting and go uneaten. The turkey wishes to visit his namesake land because how could that be bad?
The story that follows these three is, like
I said, bonkers so suspend disbelief and just love it instead. I did . Seeing the world through these three animals eyes is strangely enlightening and the story becomes less of a fable and more of a narrative on how the world is. It's brilliant and I hope to one day see a turkey use an iPhone.
This realisation makes the cow see she needs to escape. She learns of India, where cows are sacred, and she makes a plan to go there. A pig and turkey also learn of her plan and beg to go too. The pig, who changes his name to Shalom, dreams of Israel where his kind are deemed revolting and go uneaten. The turkey wishes to visit his namesake land because how could that be bad?
The story that follows these three is, like
I said, bonkers so suspend disbelief and just love it instead. I did . Seeing the world through these three animals eyes is strangely enlightening and the story becomes less of a fable and more of a narrative on how the world is. It's brilliant and I hope to one day see a turkey use an iPhone.
February 19, 2015
Well I am not sure what to say. How about - what a crock of mixed animal manure. I honestly disliked everything about David Duchovny's 'writing style'; human beings should not go round saying things like 'omg babes you are totes cray cray' let alone animals. It was badly edited drivel. Whats sad is there was the spark, the potential for an interesting debate on mass farming and how detrimental it is to the environment, to us and of course to other species. But what was trundled out was more like David Duchovny taking the piss, the old 'haha look at me, I'm a washed-up celebrity so time to try my luck at writing' and I can see him now; strolling about in a threadbare dressing gown, laughing manically as he taps out lines with his toes on his iphone while drinking cheap vodka from a chipped coffee mug.
It get two stars - one for being a free copy and the other for having the decency to only be 200 pages long and some of those taken up with crapy illustrations.
It get two stars - one for being a free copy and the other for having the decency to only be 200 pages long and some of those taken up with crapy illustrations.
February 18, 2015
Holy Cow - David Duchovny
Beauty, Books and Babble
Find out about winning a copy of this book at the end of my review! :)
★★★★✩
I would like to start with a massive thank you to Headline Publishing who sent me this book via Bookbridgr in exchange for an honest review. I gave this book a nice, meaty 4 stars!
Holy Cow follows the story of Elsie Bovary, who starts the tale as an ordinary, happy cow who spends her days being milked, eating grass, and chatting with her BFF. However, everything changes for Elsie one night when she sneaks from her pasture and finds herself drawn to the farmhouse. Through the window, she sees the family gathered around what can only be a Box God, and this Box God reveals the truth about what really happens to cows, including Elsie's mother, when they disappear from the farm.
Motivated by fear and anger, Elsie plans to flee the farm to a better and safer world. After discovering what Elsie intends to do, two other farm residents decide to join her in a bid to obtain a better life, and so a motley crew is formed: Elsie; the once happy cow who desires a life in India where cows are worshipped; Shalom, a grumpy pig who has recently converted to Judaism; and Tom, a suave turkey who cannot fly, but can use his beak to work an iPhone. First they just need to steal some passports and disguise themselves in human attire before heading to the airport. What could possibly go wrong...?
When starting this book you really need to leave your sense of reality with the cover and take your imagination through this bonkers tale so you simply enjoy it. It was a wonderful read and I was honestly hooked from the start thanks to our narrator, Elsie. Her character is fabulous! Her charming and comical voice kept me entertained throughout the full book, and I found myself chuckling away as I read.
I especially loved the screenplay form of writing for conversations between Elsie and her BFF, Mallory. David Duchovny did a splendid job of portraying her as stereotypical, yet hilariously loveable, teenager, using phrases such as 'bae', 'cray cray' and 'OMG'. In fact, any interactions in the book were humorous thanks to Elsie's comical character. I know it's oh-so-cliché to say, but her personality really did leap off the page. This story would have been nowhere near as good if not told from the wonderfully bonkers point of view of Elsie the cow. Her cute illustrations were a lovely added touch to the book as well.
Beneath all of the giggles and fun, David Duchovny leaves an underlying notion that animals are more than mindless creatures there to serve and feed the human race, yet he doesn't preach. He keeps it light-hearted, self aware, yet subtly gets the message across to really make you think. I won't be giving up up sausages and beef any time soon though... sorry! ;)
Keeping you engaged with plenty of adorably hilarious characters on a surreal mission with a tonne of laughable twists and turns along the way, Holy Cow tells a heart warming tale of three charismatic animals seeking a better life, who may just discover that the grass isn't always greener on the other side.
Fancy having the opportunity to read David Duchovny's Holy Cow? Headline Publishing have kindly worked with me to offer one lucky winner a hard copy of this novel. So, how do you enter? It's simple! Simply log in to Twitter and retweet the tweet linked below!
Click here to find the competition tweet!!
The competition will close at 9pm on Wednesday 25th February, so you have a whopping 10 days to get your entries in, starting today! UK only. A winner will be picked at random and announced on Twitter shortly after closing time. If the winner doesn't get back to me within 48 hours, another winner will be picked from the pot. Good luck everyone. :)
Beauty, Books and Babble
Find out about winning a copy of this book at the end of my review! :)
★★★★✩
I would like to start with a massive thank you to Headline Publishing who sent me this book via Bookbridgr in exchange for an honest review. I gave this book a nice, meaty 4 stars!
Holy Cow follows the story of Elsie Bovary, who starts the tale as an ordinary, happy cow who spends her days being milked, eating grass, and chatting with her BFF. However, everything changes for Elsie one night when she sneaks from her pasture and finds herself drawn to the farmhouse. Through the window, she sees the family gathered around what can only be a Box God, and this Box God reveals the truth about what really happens to cows, including Elsie's mother, when they disappear from the farm.
Motivated by fear and anger, Elsie plans to flee the farm to a better and safer world. After discovering what Elsie intends to do, two other farm residents decide to join her in a bid to obtain a better life, and so a motley crew is formed: Elsie; the once happy cow who desires a life in India where cows are worshipped; Shalom, a grumpy pig who has recently converted to Judaism; and Tom, a suave turkey who cannot fly, but can use his beak to work an iPhone. First they just need to steal some passports and disguise themselves in human attire before heading to the airport. What could possibly go wrong...?
When starting this book you really need to leave your sense of reality with the cover and take your imagination through this bonkers tale so you simply enjoy it. It was a wonderful read and I was honestly hooked from the start thanks to our narrator, Elsie. Her character is fabulous! Her charming and comical voice kept me entertained throughout the full book, and I found myself chuckling away as I read.
"Pooping while you're getting milked is one of life's great pleasures. You should try it sometime."
I especially loved the screenplay form of writing for conversations between Elsie and her BFF, Mallory. David Duchovny did a splendid job of portraying her as stereotypical, yet hilariously loveable, teenager, using phrases such as 'bae', 'cray cray' and 'OMG'. In fact, any interactions in the book were humorous thanks to Elsie's comical character. I know it's oh-so-cliché to say, but her personality really did leap off the page. This story would have been nowhere near as good if not told from the wonderfully bonkers point of view of Elsie the cow. Her cute illustrations were a lovely added touch to the book as well.
Beneath all of the giggles and fun, David Duchovny leaves an underlying notion that animals are more than mindless creatures there to serve and feed the human race, yet he doesn't preach. He keeps it light-hearted, self aware, yet subtly gets the message across to really make you think. I won't be giving up up sausages and beef any time soon though... sorry! ;)
Keeping you engaged with plenty of adorably hilarious characters on a surreal mission with a tonne of laughable twists and turns along the way, Holy Cow tells a heart warming tale of three charismatic animals seeking a better life, who may just discover that the grass isn't always greener on the other side.
"So I guess it's not so important that dreams come true, it's just important that you have a dream to begin with, to get you to take your first steps."
Fancy having the opportunity to read David Duchovny's Holy Cow? Headline Publishing have kindly worked with me to offer one lucky winner a hard copy of this novel. So, how do you enter? It's simple! Simply log in to Twitter and retweet the tweet linked below!
Click here to find the competition tweet!!
The competition will close at 9pm on Wednesday 25th February, so you have a whopping 10 days to get your entries in, starting today! UK only. A winner will be picked at random and announced on Twitter shortly after closing time. If the winner doesn't get back to me within 48 hours, another winner will be picked from the pot. Good luck everyone. :)
February 12, 2019
Lako štivo za razbibrigu. Duhovni je pokušao da dotakne filozofska pitanja (da li su ljudi najveće životinje, možemo li opstati kao rasa/rase na zajedničkom terenu...) ali mu na žalost nije pošlo za rukom da ih dublje obradi. Lepo zamišljeno, ali prilično loše sprovedeno. Ipak, nasmejala sam se nekoliko puta vrlo iskreno.
August 25, 2018
Există un motiv foarte bun pentru care David Duchovny este cunoscut ca actor și nu ca scriitor.
Holy Cow nu e literatură de entertainment, deși își dorește să fie. Își dorește să fie o poveste simpăticuță și moralizatoare, un manifest vegan, un „hai să-ți arăt și punctul de vedere al hamburgerului tău”. Partea nașpa e că nu s-a apucat să scrie și punctul de vedere al verzei, cred că ăla ar fi fost mai interesant.
Autorul distruge al patrulea zid încă dinainte să existe celelalte trei, și e plictisitor, mega-moralizator și incredibil de ipocrit. Dar no, așa e frumos.
O carte de citit pentru oricine e de confesiune vegană, pe intelectul unui om fără proteine în dietă.
Holy Cow nu e literatură de entertainment, deși își dorește să fie. Își dorește să fie o poveste simpăticuță și moralizatoare, un manifest vegan, un „hai să-ți arăt și punctul de vedere al hamburgerului tău”. Partea nașpa e că nu s-a apucat să scrie și punctul de vedere al verzei, cred că ăla ar fi fost mai interesant.
Autorul distruge al patrulea zid încă dinainte să existe celelalte trei, și e plictisitor, mega-moralizator și incredibil de ipocrit. Dar no, așa e frumos.
O carte de citit pentru oricine e de confesiune vegană, pe intelectul unui om fără proteine în dietă.
February 21, 2015
If Pixar made films for adults, then Holy Cow would definitely be a contender. I am sure this children’s story for adults was written with a screenplay in mind, certainly our narrator Elsie the Cow is determined that one day her story will make the big screen, heck she is already writing a book about her exploits and is constantly giving helpful hints as asides to a future director. Not to mention her “pop culture” references which she inserts because her editor thinks they would appeal to adults reading the story to their children.
Elsie has an idyllic life, chewing the cud, being milked, sleeping and gossiping until the day she gets a glimpse of what the future holds in store for her. No way is Elsie going to enter the food chain and she makes her escape plans.
It is a very visual story that you can read in a couple of hours and I really liked Elsie’s sassy, witty voice. I say it is a children’s story for adults for a reason, there are some parts of the book that you may not want young children exposed to. You have to believe the unbelievable in order to enjoy this book to its best advantage and even David Duchovny kind of admits that. In his notes at the end he even comments on the fact that Elsie is a dairy cow who is milked every day even though she has never given birth.
I did enjoy the read – it is clever, amusing and thought provoking. Thanks to the publishers for the review copy.
Elsie has an idyllic life, chewing the cud, being milked, sleeping and gossiping until the day she gets a glimpse of what the future holds in store for her. No way is Elsie going to enter the food chain and she makes her escape plans.
It is a very visual story that you can read in a couple of hours and I really liked Elsie’s sassy, witty voice. I say it is a children’s story for adults for a reason, there are some parts of the book that you may not want young children exposed to. You have to believe the unbelievable in order to enjoy this book to its best advantage and even David Duchovny kind of admits that. In his notes at the end he even comments on the fact that Elsie is a dairy cow who is milked every day even though she has never given birth.
I did enjoy the read – it is clever, amusing and thought provoking. Thanks to the publishers for the review copy.
April 11, 2018
I recommend the audio version with David Duchovny's narration. It makes a funny, and fun, book even better.
March 3, 2015
This was... not good. The ridiculous plot I could live with, but what I could NOT live with were the annoying ranty parts about animal rights and human politics and religion. And even worse, the non-stop barrage of topical and not-so-topical pop culture references. This might be the most annoying book I've ever read all the way through (which I only did so I could post this review).
December 24, 2017
Nothing more appropriate could have happened to me than to read Holy Cow by David Duchovny in a holiday time. Christmas and New Year are holidays when we remember our loved ones, everyone who has in any good way influenced us during the year or even a few years before.
But it is also a time when we easily forget those outside our field of vision, those we subconsciously push out of their existence. The hidden faces of holidays.
A happy cow Elise Bovary, a grumpy pig Shalom and a suave turkey Tom are the hidden faces of our holidays but true and hilariously funny characters of Duchovny's novel! (Yes, David Duchovny also knows to write beside being a great actor!) It is a story that makes us laugh and touches the emotional part of our brain, a story that takes us—in the spirit of its predecessors Charlotte's Web and Animal Farm—on an exciting journey from the United States all across the world to Turkey, Israel and finally India, when our three adorable protagonists escape from a farm to find a safe place where they won't be killed and eaten by humans.
Holy Cow is the perfect read for holy days because it carries an outstanding message of compassion, empathy and love to all the creatures. It reminds us of the unity and interconnectedness of the species, that we are all one, as Elsie concludes in her story:
You, me, the animals in the wild, the animal at your feet, the animal on your plate, the person next to you—
We are all one
We are all holy cows
Moo
Let's keep our fellow animals in our hearts instead on our plates! Happy holidays!
BJ
www.bernardjan.com
Join my mailing list, subscribe to blog Muse!
Bernard Jan
But it is also a time when we easily forget those outside our field of vision, those we subconsciously push out of their existence. The hidden faces of holidays.
A happy cow Elise Bovary, a grumpy pig Shalom and a suave turkey Tom are the hidden faces of our holidays but true and hilariously funny characters of Duchovny's novel! (Yes, David Duchovny also knows to write beside being a great actor!) It is a story that makes us laugh and touches the emotional part of our brain, a story that takes us—in the spirit of its predecessors Charlotte's Web and Animal Farm—on an exciting journey from the United States all across the world to Turkey, Israel and finally India, when our three adorable protagonists escape from a farm to find a safe place where they won't be killed and eaten by humans.
Holy Cow is the perfect read for holy days because it carries an outstanding message of compassion, empathy and love to all the creatures. It reminds us of the unity and interconnectedness of the species, that we are all one, as Elsie concludes in her story:
You, me, the animals in the wild, the animal at your feet, the animal on your plate, the person next to you—
We are all one
We are all holy cows
Moo
Let's keep our fellow animals in our hearts instead on our plates! Happy holidays!
BJ
www.bernardjan.com
Join my mailing list, subscribe to blog Muse!
Bernard Jan
January 15, 2015
not 100% sure I know quite what I have just read. a deeply bizarre take on Mankind's interaction with each other and with the natural world? Or simply a Dairy tale? Confused.com
July 23, 2015
Ok. I like cows and I like David Duchovny. Therefore, I felt that a book about a cow by David Duchovny would be right up my street. I have to say, having now read the book, I am a little nonplussed.
For me, there are two ways that you can take this book. One as a serious satire highlighting the injustices in our world and the interspecies prejudices that animals face – an allegory for racism – or you can read it a second way. The second reading of the book would indicate to me that David Duchovny went out one night with a group of friends, got pie-eyed and then started having a drunken conversation which then escalated into this book.
Honestly, I think I prefer the second interpretation.
It is not that Holy Cow isn’t good, it just isn’t for me. It is not a book I connected with and I wasn’t eager to keep on reading it.
Holy Cow by David Duchovny is available now.
For me, there are two ways that you can take this book. One as a serious satire highlighting the injustices in our world and the interspecies prejudices that animals face – an allegory for racism – or you can read it a second way. The second reading of the book would indicate to me that David Duchovny went out one night with a group of friends, got pie-eyed and then started having a drunken conversation which then escalated into this book.
Honestly, I think I prefer the second interpretation.
It is not that Holy Cow isn’t good, it just isn’t for me. It is not a book I connected with and I wasn’t eager to keep on reading it.
Holy Cow by David Duchovny is available now.
April 30, 2021
X-Files idi, Californication idi derken David Duchovny’ye aşık olmayan var mı? Yüksek ihtimalle yoktur. Peki kitap yazdığını bilen var mı? Bilen biliyormuş valla ama benim cidden haberim yoktu ve Kutsal İnek çok şans eseri çıktı karşıma. Arkasını bile okumadan, sırf David Duchovny ismini gördüğüm için attım sepete – evet, normalde ıncık mıncık bakıp araştıran bir insan olarak böyle ani, beklenmedik hareketlerim de vardır sonuçta. Sepete attığım ve gelir gelmez okuduğum için hiç pişman değilim; onu baştan belirteyim. Hayatımda okuduğum en iyi kitap mı? Hayır. David Duchovny çok çok iyi bir yazar mıymış? Hayır. Ama okurken gerçekten çok güldüm ve 158 sayfa boyunca iyi hissettirdi bana. Tamamen kapanışa geçerken ihtiyacınız olabilecek, kısa süreliğine de olsa iyi gelebilecek bir şey olabilir yani…
Öncelikle, David Duchovny’nin “ben büyük edebiyatçı olacağım!” diye değil, vermek istediği mesajı dile getirmeye çalışırken eğlenmek için yazdığını düşünüyorum; ben okurken böyle hissettim en azından. Kutsal İnek kitabında anlatıcımız Elsie isimli bir inek ve konuya kendini tanıtarak, şöyle başlıyor:
Elsie’nin hali ve tavrı kitap boyunca böyle; düşünün artık yani!
Devamı: https://zimlicious.com/kutsal-inek-il...
Öncelikle, David Duchovny’nin “ben büyük edebiyatçı olacağım!” diye değil, vermek istediği mesajı dile getirmeye çalışırken eğlenmek için yazdığını düşünüyorum; ben okurken böyle hissettim en azından. Kutsal İnek kitabında anlatıcımız Elsie isimli bir inek ve konuya kendini tanıtarak, şöyle başlıyor:
“Çoğu insan, ineklerin düşünemediğini zanneder. Selam. Durun, düzelteyim: çoğu insan ineklerin düşünemediğini ve duygularının olmadığını zanneder. A-lo. Ben bir ineğim; adım Elsie, hı-hı, biliyorum. Mö. Oldu mu? Ya… Düşünebiliyor, hissedebiliyor, espri yapabiliyoruz. Çoğumuz.”
Elsie’nin hali ve tavrı kitap boyunca böyle; düşünün artık yani!
Devamı: https://zimlicious.com/kutsal-inek-il...
April 4, 2020
O cărticică drăguța, ideală pentru o zi de Weekend.
May 16, 2015
Is this the worst book I have ever read? Yes. Yes it is. Is it the worst book ever written. I hope it is because I don't ever want to accidentally read a book worse than this one. What drew me to it was the author, David Duchovny. I loved him as an actor and I appreciated his dry wit on talk shows like Letterman, in the 90's. This seemed like a silly book that would give him a chance to show his wit. What I got instead was...the worst book I have ever read and illustrated by the worst artist too (I assume it is Duchovny since no one else is credited as far as I can see).
What makes it the worst? The humour - every - single - joke and pun falls flat. "Do plants have feelings? Yes. Planty of them."
The writing style is nonexistent - he switches from screen play to story to breaking the fourth wall ("my editor liked that joke" "my editor was concerned we took drugs and children might be influenced". Is this a distasteful children's book or an idiotic adult book trying to pretend to be a children's book? Depending on which page you are reading - either or both or none. This was a failed Pixar pitch. It shows.
The story - it is just odd and offputting. And a copy of a lot of other stories. Especially children's movies. It feels like David was watching a lot of these movies (Chicken Run, Madagascar) with his kids and thought "I can do that...but worse."
But really the most horrible thing about this book is the lack of effort. It feels like a first draft written by someone on weed. It is so lazy. The lack of care David felt about doing this shines through. If I went back 20 years and made a younger David read this I would be shocked if he didn't hate it as much as I do. So why did he write and publish it? Why did a company publish this? Just horrible.
I have half a mind to recommend this to all struggling writers to show them that even the worst stories get published. And encourage them. I have the other half of mind to not show it to them because they might think "oh, is this the standard I should aim for"? No. No it isn't. Ever. I am against book burning but...if you ever are short on kindling paper and you have this book on hand...do the right thing.
What makes it the worst? The humour - every - single - joke and pun falls flat. "Do plants have feelings? Yes. Planty of them."
The writing style is nonexistent - he switches from screen play to story to breaking the fourth wall ("my editor liked that joke" "my editor was concerned we took drugs and children might be influenced". Is this a distasteful children's book or an idiotic adult book trying to pretend to be a children's book? Depending on which page you are reading - either or both or none. This was a failed Pixar pitch. It shows.
The story - it is just odd and offputting. And a copy of a lot of other stories. Especially children's movies. It feels like David was watching a lot of these movies (Chicken Run, Madagascar) with his kids and thought "I can do that...but worse."
But really the most horrible thing about this book is the lack of effort. It feels like a first draft written by someone on weed. It is so lazy. The lack of care David felt about doing this shines through. If I went back 20 years and made a younger David read this I would be shocked if he didn't hate it as much as I do. So why did he write and publish it? Why did a company publish this? Just horrible.
I have half a mind to recommend this to all struggling writers to show them that even the worst stories get published. And encourage them. I have the other half of mind to not show it to them because they might think "oh, is this the standard I should aim for"? No. No it isn't. Ever. I am against book burning but...if you ever are short on kindling paper and you have this book on hand...do the right thing.
July 10, 2015
Elsie the Cow lives a simple life on a New York farm. When she sneaks to the Human farmer's house and sees on a TV that she calls a "Box God" what really happens to cows, she decides to get out of dodge and go to safer pastures in India. Along the way she meets up with a pig named Jerry a.k.a. Shalom and a Turkey named Tom who both are seeking a new home in Israel and Turkey. Will these fair-weathered farm animal friends succeed? Read on and find out for yourself.
This was a pretty good and pretty silly animal story. I enjoyed the illustrations too. Even though there was a little bit of cursing in it which I bleeped out, I still enjoyed reading this story. If you enjoy silly animal adventure stories, definitely check this book out. It is available at your local library and wherever books are sold.
This was a pretty good and pretty silly animal story. I enjoyed the illustrations too. Even though there was a little bit of cursing in it which I bleeped out, I still enjoyed reading this story. If you enjoy silly animal adventure stories, definitely check this book out. It is available at your local library and wherever books are sold.
February 5, 2015
As an animal advocate and a vegan, I really wanted to love David Duchovny's intelligent and wisecracking new book, "Holy Cow." There are indeed aspects of this bizarre animal Odyssey of a cow, a pig and a turkey searching for a home where they will be loved and safe that make important points. In this passage, Elsie the cow has just learned the truth about dairy cows and their sad fate as well as that of their children: "You humans drink our milk and eat the eggs of the chickens and the ducks. Isn't that enough for you? Isn't it enough that we give you our children and what's meant for our children? And if not, when is it enough? All you humans do is take, take, take from the earth and its beautiful creatures, and what do you give back? Nothing! I know humans consider it a grave insult to be called an animal. Well, I would never give a human the fine distinction of being called an animal, because an animal may kill to live but an animal never lives to kill. Humans have to earn the right to be called animals again."
Speaking to her editor, Elsie says: "...You can't just wear the food chain around your neck like a bauble or necklace. You're part of it and if you keep treating it with disdain, that chain will strangle you."
I applaud Duchovny's originality and creativity, his tongue-in-cheek sarcasm, his hope for a safer world that is accepting of all who inhabit it in their many forms and beliefs. But for me, it fell a little flat. I was an observer in a fantastical world that I would have liked to be a participant in.
Speaking to her editor, Elsie says: "...You can't just wear the food chain around your neck like a bauble or necklace. You're part of it and if you keep treating it with disdain, that chain will strangle you."
I applaud Duchovny's originality and creativity, his tongue-in-cheek sarcasm, his hope for a safer world that is accepting of all who inhabit it in their many forms and beliefs. But for me, it fell a little flat. I was an observer in a fantastical world that I would have liked to be a participant in.
November 1, 2015
Humorous in a laid back way & a lot of fun, Duchovny makes a lot of good points about life through the eyes of Elsie, a cow who dreams of & sets out to travel the world in search of a better life. It's a coming of age story without any preaching, just a lot of questions. Life can be pretty awful in some ways, but every place has its roses & warts.
For those friends of mine who notice I finished listening to 3 books today, I also turned one of the largest bowls I've ever made & cleaned up the shop after filling 2 dozen 100lb feed bags with shavings from the lathe. It was a wonderful day.
:)
For those friends of mine who notice I finished listening to 3 books today, I also turned one of the largest bowls I've ever made & cleaned up the shop after filling 2 dozen 100lb feed bags with shavings from the lathe. It was a wonderful day.
:)
July 28, 2016
Quizá lo que hace que este libro sea caca (de vaca) a pesar de que arranca más de una carcajada es que está ejecutado con vagancia; una vagancia tal que casi puedes oír los resoplidos del autor mientras lo lees. Reseña completa: http://www.libros-prohibidos.com/davi...
July 13, 2019
Мамка му... и книга! Имах погрешни очаквания и те не се оправдаха, затова и не ми хареса. Даже мислих да й дам 1*, защото много тегав�� ми вървяха тези 188 страници, но след като все пак ги дочетох и се позамислих - проблемът е както казах в моите погрешни очаквания, а не толкова в самата книга. А книгата става по-скоро за деца, защото това е разказ на една крава (от 1-во лице) и нейните приключения - как заедно с едно прасе и един пуяк предприемат пътуване от фермата в САЩ до Индия, защото вярва, че в САЩ ще стане храна на хората, а в Индия кравите са свещени истории и там ще си живее царски. По пътя си разбира се имат различни приключения, а на края има дори поуки. Така, че да - книгата може да я ��рочетете на децата си, но за себе си недейте да имате големи очаквания.
July 6, 2018
A cow, a pig, and a turkey walk into a bar. Look, the dinner's here! says the bartender.
A hilarious account of a cow's adventures on the way to the Holy land of India, sprinkled with teenage slang and amazeballs cow lingo which will mooove a linguist in you to tears.
(Of joy, obviously).
A hilarious account of a cow's adventures on the way to the Holy land of India, sprinkled with teenage slang and amazeballs cow lingo which will mooove a linguist in you to tears.
(Of joy, obviously).
September 2, 2018
http://www.writingis.fun/book-review-...
Крава, която чела Омир, пуйка пилот на самолет, и прасе, което говори перфектно иврит? Звучи като от „Досиетата Х“… и си е точно така!
По време на четенето на тази книга, установих, че до някаква степен ме подсеща за приказката на Братя Грим за „Бременските музиканти“, където магаре, куче, котка и петел, които са изгонени от стопаните си, решават, че искат да станат градски музиканти.
В тази по-модерна версия на история за животни, главните герои са крава, пуйка и прасе, чието приключение ние проследяваме в книгата на Дейвид Духовни (кравописец, както е спомената в книгата).
Крава, която чела Омир, пуйка пилот на самолет, и прасе, което говори перфектно иврит? Звучи като от „Досиетата Х“… и си е точно така!
По време на четенето на тази книга, установих, че до някаква степен ме подсеща за приказката на Братя Грим за „Бременските музиканти“, където магаре, куче, котка и петел, които са изгонени от стопаните си, решават, че искат да станат градски музиканти.
В тази по-модерна версия на история за животни, главните герои са крава, пуйка и прасе, чието приключение ние проследяваме в книгата на Дейвид Духовни (кравописец, както е спомената в книгата).
January 6, 2017
So I'm going to start a publishing company. It's going to be called "F.A.M.E.-US". The acronym stands for "Famous Actors Making...something something something". I'm not good at acronyms. I'll get marketing to come up with something.
Here is how "FAME-US Publishing" will work: aspiring authors who want a wider audience than they may otherwise get will submit their work to me. I will then locate an actor, athlete, rock star, or other famous person who wants to be known as a literary-type person -- an author. "FAME-US" will then publish the book under that well-known person's name, as if he or she had actually written it.
The author gets the bulk of the profits, and the ability to write for a living, but no notoriety. The celebrity gets a bit of literary credibility. I get rich, too, of course.
I haven't yet worked out how to keep the public from knowing the celebrity didn't actually write the book, but I also haven't yet worked out whether the public cares. This is, after all, only the next step in celebrity endorsements, right? If we are more likely to buy something because someone famous said to buy it, does it matter if we think the someone famous actually uses or wrote that thing?
I got started thinking this way, of course, because of Book 2, Holy Cow. Holy Cow has a 3.3-star average on Goodreads, translating into something between liked it and really liked it. Averages can be misleading but in this case they're not: 80% of the Goodreads reviews are favorable. On the other hand, NPR's book reviewer called it a "bizarre disaster." It's not really that bad, but it's also not good, either.
The basic plot is that animals are as intelligent as humans, but can't talk. The main character, Elsie Bovary, is a cow. When she learns that cows are slaughtered for meat, she decides to escape the farm and go to India, where cows are worshipped. She's joined by a turkey (who wants to go to Turkey) and a pig (who wants to go to Israel.) They fly to Turkey then steal a plane and fly to Israel before eventually making it to India and then getting back home.
That might have been enjoyable, but the book suffers from a lack of internal consistency, among other major flaws. A book doesn't have to be realistic, but a book's system -- or any story's system -- has to be consistent for the story to not suck. Here, the system fails because Duchovny didn't think it through or didn't care or both. Probably both.
For example: Elsie calls the TV the "box god," implying that she doesn't understand technology. But she knows about cell phones, airplanes, ticket kiosks, and the like. It's never explained if Elsie is merely being hyperbolic in referring to TV as the 'box god.'
For example, 2: the animals are smart enough to use cell phones, read maps, order airline tickets, learn about Turkey on Wikipedia, and the like, but not smart enough to determine that, for example, Turkey is not a great place necessarily for turkeys to live.
For example, 3: Duchovny, when it's important, makes clear that animals do not speak English and cannot talk to humans. Then he has a camel in the mideast make a speech to Israelis and Palestinians about all getting along (the camel is the former Joe Camel, because that is the level of creativity Duchovny is displaying here) and the humans all understand it and eventually we are told the camel and the pig are up for a Nobel Peace Prize. The speech, by the way, was a speech about how the Israelis and Palestinians should all realize that they hate the same things (the pig) and therefore should get along in their hatred of that common thing. Even for a camel and a pig that is a dubious sentiment.
Along the way, there are numerous terrible jokes, a slapdash ending to get the animals back to America for no reason whatsoever (they get high with some cows in India and the cows want Elsie to say she is a god but she won't so they all leave India) and otherwise a bunch of junk that buries the otherwise-interesting, otherwise-clever parts of the book.
There is a lot of potential in the book, if it were subjected to some second-drafting and critical thinking and editing. But that's all there is: potential.
So that's what got me thinking: Would Holy Cow have been published at all if it were not written by David Duchovny? The answer to me is obviously no. It would be nearly impossible to market a comic novel of talking animals with dull points to make about ethical treatment of animals, religion, and pop culture. It's not a kid's book. It's not an adult's book. It's not a particularly good book.
And yet, it's not David Duchovny's only book, either. He's got "Bucky F*cking Dent" published, too. It's apparently a book about a would-be writer -- all would-be writers eventually write a book about would-be writers. (How many writers would a would-be writer write if a would-be writer would be writing books?) It's also about Bucky Dent, and so hits on one of the more basic sports cliches of the world, and is no doubt a coming-of-age tale in which someone becomes wiser by either meeting or comparing himself to Bucky Dent. No, I didn't read the description of the book yet when I wrote that. I will do so now. *Checks* I was right.
84% of the reviews of Bucky F*cking Dent are positive on Amazon. Duchovny is said to be a "New York Times Best Selling Author."
Books are products, like cereal and toasters and orange juice (sorry, I'm writing this at breakfast.) As I've pointed out repeatedly, the goal of many authors and all publishers is not to make sure you enjoy reading a book, or even finish a book. The goal is to sell you the book. After you pay for the book, the burger (looking forward to lunch now), the blue jeans, the manufacturer -- publishers are manufacturers -- don't really care what you do with them. If you buy books to use as ballast in a boat (a littering of alliteration!) they don't care. They just want to sell you the book.
It's impossible for me to know how many people bought or read Holy Cow because it was by David Duchovny. It's why I listened to it, for free, from the library, and I imagine a significant number of people made that same choice: Hmm, Duchovny? All right, I'll give it a shot. We confuse celebrities with our friends because we see them and imagine they are the people we see on TV: Jennifer Aniston must be Rachel, right? David Duchovny is cool Fox Mulder, or that weirdo on the sex show on HBO, whichever, plus he's famous and you don't get famous without being something good, is the American way of thinking.
Just like putting your story in the Star Wars universe helps jack the sales of a mediocre-to-good scifi story up to the stratosphere, putting a celebrity's name on a book will help pump the sales. After I finished this book, I wondered if I could re-issue Codes only this time have it be written by Mark Hamill or George Takei; cut them in for 50% of the profits and retire, or at least get to make a living ghost-writing books for Mark Hamill. (Hamill is listed as the co-writer on a comic book miniseries, The Black Pearl. I am now going to put that on my list to read.)
We are not as immune to marketing as we think. There is a direct correlation between advertising dollars and opening-weekend box office. Critical reviews of movies add relatively little to box office; sequels with built-in audiences have six times the effect. If you want to ensure a big opening weekend, don't worry about critics: make a sequel to an action movie. A good critical review adds $1-2 million. Being an action movie adds $4 million. Being a sequel adds $13 million, and now you know why there have been a zillion Fast & Furious movies.
Putting a celebrity's name on a book -- whether a cookbook, novel, book of poetry, or some other book -- is advertising and marketing. It instantly conveys a brand. I only ever watched one episode of X-Files and otherwise have never seen a David Duchovny movie or TV show, but I know his brand, and his brand was on this book. If it had been Holy Cow by Mindy Kaling, or by Arnold Schwarzenegger, or by Brett Favre, each of those names would have conveyed a different sort of brand, the way Coke and McDonald's and Ford convey an image, as well.
But being a brand doesn't mean you're any good. It just means you can fool people. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you've got a successful marketing campaign. Look for books by "FAME-US" to hit the shelves around Xmas.
Briane Pagel reads 100 books a year and blogs about them at "Thinking The Lions," http://www.thinkingthelions.blogspot.com. He is the co-author of "Codes," which was also written by every member of the cast of all the "Star Wars" and "Star Trek" movies combined.
Here is how "FAME-US Publishing" will work: aspiring authors who want a wider audience than they may otherwise get will submit their work to me. I will then locate an actor, athlete, rock star, or other famous person who wants to be known as a literary-type person -- an author. "FAME-US" will then publish the book under that well-known person's name, as if he or she had actually written it.
The author gets the bulk of the profits, and the ability to write for a living, but no notoriety. The celebrity gets a bit of literary credibility. I get rich, too, of course.
I haven't yet worked out how to keep the public from knowing the celebrity didn't actually write the book, but I also haven't yet worked out whether the public cares. This is, after all, only the next step in celebrity endorsements, right? If we are more likely to buy something because someone famous said to buy it, does it matter if we think the someone famous actually uses or wrote that thing?
I got started thinking this way, of course, because of Book 2, Holy Cow. Holy Cow has a 3.3-star average on Goodreads, translating into something between liked it and really liked it. Averages can be misleading but in this case they're not: 80% of the Goodreads reviews are favorable. On the other hand, NPR's book reviewer called it a "bizarre disaster." It's not really that bad, but it's also not good, either.
The basic plot is that animals are as intelligent as humans, but can't talk. The main character, Elsie Bovary, is a cow. When she learns that cows are slaughtered for meat, she decides to escape the farm and go to India, where cows are worshipped. She's joined by a turkey (who wants to go to Turkey) and a pig (who wants to go to Israel.) They fly to Turkey then steal a plane and fly to Israel before eventually making it to India and then getting back home.
That might have been enjoyable, but the book suffers from a lack of internal consistency, among other major flaws. A book doesn't have to be realistic, but a book's system -- or any story's system -- has to be consistent for the story to not suck. Here, the system fails because Duchovny didn't think it through or didn't care or both. Probably both.
For example: Elsie calls the TV the "box god," implying that she doesn't understand technology. But she knows about cell phones, airplanes, ticket kiosks, and the like. It's never explained if Elsie is merely being hyperbolic in referring to TV as the 'box god.'
For example, 2: the animals are smart enough to use cell phones, read maps, order airline tickets, learn about Turkey on Wikipedia, and the like, but not smart enough to determine that, for example, Turkey is not a great place necessarily for turkeys to live.
For example, 3: Duchovny, when it's important, makes clear that animals do not speak English and cannot talk to humans. Then he has a camel in the mideast make a speech to Israelis and Palestinians about all getting along (the camel is the former Joe Camel, because that is the level of creativity Duchovny is displaying here) and the humans all understand it and eventually we are told the camel and the pig are up for a Nobel Peace Prize. The speech, by the way, was a speech about how the Israelis and Palestinians should all realize that they hate the same things (the pig) and therefore should get along in their hatred of that common thing. Even for a camel and a pig that is a dubious sentiment.
Along the way, there are numerous terrible jokes, a slapdash ending to get the animals back to America for no reason whatsoever (they get high with some cows in India and the cows want Elsie to say she is a god but she won't so they all leave India) and otherwise a bunch of junk that buries the otherwise-interesting, otherwise-clever parts of the book.
There is a lot of potential in the book, if it were subjected to some second-drafting and critical thinking and editing. But that's all there is: potential.
So that's what got me thinking: Would Holy Cow have been published at all if it were not written by David Duchovny? The answer to me is obviously no. It would be nearly impossible to market a comic novel of talking animals with dull points to make about ethical treatment of animals, religion, and pop culture. It's not a kid's book. It's not an adult's book. It's not a particularly good book.
And yet, it's not David Duchovny's only book, either. He's got "Bucky F*cking Dent" published, too. It's apparently a book about a would-be writer -- all would-be writers eventually write a book about would-be writers. (How many writers would a would-be writer write if a would-be writer would be writing books?) It's also about Bucky Dent, and so hits on one of the more basic sports cliches of the world, and is no doubt a coming-of-age tale in which someone becomes wiser by either meeting or comparing himself to Bucky Dent. No, I didn't read the description of the book yet when I wrote that. I will do so now. *Checks* I was right.
84% of the reviews of Bucky F*cking Dent are positive on Amazon. Duchovny is said to be a "New York Times Best Selling Author."
Books are products, like cereal and toasters and orange juice (sorry, I'm writing this at breakfast.) As I've pointed out repeatedly, the goal of many authors and all publishers is not to make sure you enjoy reading a book, or even finish a book. The goal is to sell you the book. After you pay for the book, the burger (looking forward to lunch now), the blue jeans, the manufacturer -- publishers are manufacturers -- don't really care what you do with them. If you buy books to use as ballast in a boat (a littering of alliteration!) they don't care. They just want to sell you the book.
It's impossible for me to know how many people bought or read Holy Cow because it was by David Duchovny. It's why I listened to it, for free, from the library, and I imagine a significant number of people made that same choice: Hmm, Duchovny? All right, I'll give it a shot. We confuse celebrities with our friends because we see them and imagine they are the people we see on TV: Jennifer Aniston must be Rachel, right? David Duchovny is cool Fox Mulder, or that weirdo on the sex show on HBO, whichever, plus he's famous and you don't get famous without being something good, is the American way of thinking.
Just like putting your story in the Star Wars universe helps jack the sales of a mediocre-to-good scifi story up to the stratosphere, putting a celebrity's name on a book will help pump the sales. After I finished this book, I wondered if I could re-issue Codes only this time have it be written by Mark Hamill or George Takei; cut them in for 50% of the profits and retire, or at least get to make a living ghost-writing books for Mark Hamill. (Hamill is listed as the co-writer on a comic book miniseries, The Black Pearl. I am now going to put that on my list to read.)
We are not as immune to marketing as we think. There is a direct correlation between advertising dollars and opening-weekend box office. Critical reviews of movies add relatively little to box office; sequels with built-in audiences have six times the effect. If you want to ensure a big opening weekend, don't worry about critics: make a sequel to an action movie. A good critical review adds $1-2 million. Being an action movie adds $4 million. Being a sequel adds $13 million, and now you know why there have been a zillion Fast & Furious movies.
Putting a celebrity's name on a book -- whether a cookbook, novel, book of poetry, or some other book -- is advertising and marketing. It instantly conveys a brand. I only ever watched one episode of X-Files and otherwise have never seen a David Duchovny movie or TV show, but I know his brand, and his brand was on this book. If it had been Holy Cow by Mindy Kaling, or by Arnold Schwarzenegger, or by Brett Favre, each of those names would have conveyed a different sort of brand, the way Coke and McDonald's and Ford convey an image, as well.
But being a brand doesn't mean you're any good. It just means you can fool people. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you've got a successful marketing campaign. Look for books by "FAME-US" to hit the shelves around Xmas.
Briane Pagel reads 100 books a year and blogs about them at "Thinking The Lions," http://www.thinkingthelions.blogspot.com. He is the co-author of "Codes," which was also written by every member of the cast of all the "Star Wars" and "Star Trek" movies combined.
January 16, 2015
The author of Holy Cow doesn’t really need an introduction, does he? Especially for all my fellow geeks who grew up on X-Files (Mulder <3’s Scully 4EVA!). But I was rather surprised when I was handed the proof copy for Holy Cow with the comment that David Duchovny had written it. I didn’t even knew he wrote! It turns out that Holy Cow is his debut novel and it is a solid debut. It is also very much a book that either works for you or it doesn’t. It approaches some serious real world issues through a humorous lens and its success will depend on whether you can appreciate Duchovny’s – by way of Elsie’s voice – sense of humour and the stances he takes on the issues he addresses.
While at times Duchovny laid it on rather thickly, I found Holy Cow quite funny. It’s very punny and quite self-aware, making fun of itself and the publishing business. Elsie keeps interjecting comments about how her editor wanted her to change certain passages to make the book more palatable to a larger audience. Elsie’s voice is distinctive and she was a rather down-home cow. I really enjoyed her character and the way she told her story. She doesn’t go on her adventure alone though, she’s accompanied by two of her farm mates, Tom the turkey and Shalom the pig. I found both of them quite entertaining, especially smooth-talking Tom, but at times they also made me wince. This is mostly down to Shalom. Holy Cow might be offensive to some, as it features some fairly heavy-handed stereotypes, especially in Shalom, who spouts Yiddish at random. Duchovny is an equal opportunity offender, poking fun at everyone and everything, yet Shalom’s characterisation made me a little uncomfortable.
For me the best thing about Holy Cow were the interactions between Elsie, Tom and Shalom. I loved the inventiveness of these three as they manage to get themselves across the globe and the way they have each other’s backs. Duchovny takes his protagonists full circle, yet giving them the chance to follow their dreams and become more than they were. Over the course of their journey, Elsie, Tom, and Shalom all realise that what they held to be true about themselves and the world should maybe be turned just a little and be looked at in a different light—as Tom tells Joe the Camel (yes, that Joe the Camel) in Israel, they are in need of ‘ze paradigm shift’. The other element that stood out were the interior illustrations done by Natalya Balnova who also drew the cover. They were charming and funny and a great addition to the narrative.
In the relatively slim novel that is Holy Cow, Duchovny touches upon animal rights, humanity’s innate need to divide into ‘us vs. them’-camps and to feel superior to others, and concludes that perhaps the biggest animals are humans themselves. Yet he does so with a wink and a smile, letting a spoonful of sugar help the medicine go down; Elsie never gets overly preachy to her audience. Holy Cow is very much a ‘your mileage may vary’-book, as I think you either enjoy it or you don’t depending on whether you connect to the humour in the book. I did and I had a lot of fun with the novel. It made me chuckle out loud, but it also made me think. This modern day dairy tale is well worth giving a try.
This book was provided for review by the publisher.
While at times Duchovny laid it on rather thickly, I found Holy Cow quite funny. It’s very punny and quite self-aware, making fun of itself and the publishing business. Elsie keeps interjecting comments about how her editor wanted her to change certain passages to make the book more palatable to a larger audience. Elsie’s voice is distinctive and she was a rather down-home cow. I really enjoyed her character and the way she told her story. She doesn’t go on her adventure alone though, she’s accompanied by two of her farm mates, Tom the turkey and Shalom the pig. I found both of them quite entertaining, especially smooth-talking Tom, but at times they also made me wince. This is mostly down to Shalom. Holy Cow might be offensive to some, as it features some fairly heavy-handed stereotypes, especially in Shalom, who spouts Yiddish at random. Duchovny is an equal opportunity offender, poking fun at everyone and everything, yet Shalom’s characterisation made me a little uncomfortable.
For me the best thing about Holy Cow were the interactions between Elsie, Tom and Shalom. I loved the inventiveness of these three as they manage to get themselves across the globe and the way they have each other’s backs. Duchovny takes his protagonists full circle, yet giving them the chance to follow their dreams and become more than they were. Over the course of their journey, Elsie, Tom, and Shalom all realise that what they held to be true about themselves and the world should maybe be turned just a little and be looked at in a different light—as Tom tells Joe the Camel (yes, that Joe the Camel) in Israel, they are in need of ‘ze paradigm shift’. The other element that stood out were the interior illustrations done by Natalya Balnova who also drew the cover. They were charming and funny and a great addition to the narrative.
In the relatively slim novel that is Holy Cow, Duchovny touches upon animal rights, humanity’s innate need to divide into ‘us vs. them’-camps and to feel superior to others, and concludes that perhaps the biggest animals are humans themselves. Yet he does so with a wink and a smile, letting a spoonful of sugar help the medicine go down; Elsie never gets overly preachy to her audience. Holy Cow is very much a ‘your mileage may vary’-book, as I think you either enjoy it or you don’t depending on whether you connect to the humour in the book. I did and I had a lot of fun with the novel. It made me chuckle out loud, but it also made me think. This modern day dairy tale is well worth giving a try.
This book was provided for review by the publisher.
November 1, 2024
This book was… uh, not really my kind of thing. At all. I read it in about three hours, but seven pages into it I already hated the tone and the awful jokes. So by that point, I was truly glad it was only 250 pages or so.
Holy Cow follows a young cow who learns the truth about ‘meat farms’, and decides to move to India where she won’t be eaten. She is joined by her friend Tom the Turkey, who wants to go to Turkey, and a pig called Shalom who has recently coverted to the Jewish faith and decides to move to Israel. The only problem – well, they’re animals, and can’t just waltz onto a plane.
But oh – they can.
I just didn’t quite get where this book was going. The characters used slang like ‘totes cray-cray and ‘amazeballs’, as well as actually saying ‘OMG’, and every time slang was used I found myself grinding my teeth (pls pay for my dental work Mr. Duchovny, thanks). And let’s forget all about that dreaded word, the worst one ever… ‘bae’. No. No no no. Please don’t ever use that in a book – okay, maybe it would work in a book where the characters are all teen HUMANS, but there is no excuse this time.
There were also about 50 mentions of ‘my editor told me to do this so I will…’ as well as pop culture references and even a reference or two to porn. This entire book felt like one atrocious mess.
The only redeeming feature was the illustrations, which were really quite cute. Elsie was only a likeable character when she was being serious, but sadly the moral of the story was pretty much downplayed and hidden behind all the ‘humour’.
Try again, Mulder.
I received this book for free in a Goodreads giveaway. Originally posted on my former blog, Rinn Reads.
Holy Cow follows a young cow who learns the truth about ‘meat farms’, and decides to move to India where she won’t be eaten. She is joined by her friend Tom the Turkey, who wants to go to Turkey, and a pig called Shalom who has recently coverted to the Jewish faith and decides to move to Israel. The only problem – well, they’re animals, and can’t just waltz onto a plane.
But oh – they can.
I just didn’t quite get where this book was going. The characters used slang like ‘totes cray-cray and ‘amazeballs’, as well as actually saying ‘OMG’, and every time slang was used I found myself grinding my teeth (pls pay for my dental work Mr. Duchovny, thanks). And let’s forget all about that dreaded word, the worst one ever… ‘bae’. No. No no no. Please don’t ever use that in a book – okay, maybe it would work in a book where the characters are all teen HUMANS, but there is no excuse this time.
There were also about 50 mentions of ‘my editor told me to do this so I will…’ as well as pop culture references and even a reference or two to porn. This entire book felt like one atrocious mess.
The only redeeming feature was the illustrations, which were really quite cute. Elsie was only a likeable character when she was being serious, but sadly the moral of the story was pretty much downplayed and hidden behind all the ‘humour’.
Try again, Mulder.
I received this book for free in a Goodreads giveaway. Originally posted on my former blog, Rinn Reads.
February 6, 2017
"What are you doing here, country folk? This is rat turf. You won't survive three days here. Welcome to the jungle, baby, you're going to die!"
Who knew that not only can David act, but he can write on hell of a hilarious novel?... *cough cough* sorry! I meant to say Cow-writer of a memoir.
I came across this book because it was recommended to me. A lot of people said if you love Bukowski, you'll fall in love with this. No one can compare to the great Bukowski and the only other person that even comes close is Gonzo. So, if that's why you are here....you're going to be digging yourself a hole. It stands out on its own without being compared to other off the wall hilarity.
Here we meet Eloise, the cow. She's just living the life on the farm. Her bestie Mallory are like sisters and they tease all the bulls.
While out of her pen, Eloise sees the family watching this god box and the horror that she sees makes her stomachs turn. How horribly treated animals are on the farm.
She makes it her dream to travel to India, the promise land so she can be treated like the Queen she is.
Living on a farm, gossip spreads between the animals and now she has travel companions.
A cow, a turkey, and a pig walk into an airport! What a start to a great joke.
Cow wants to go to India, Pig to Israel and turkey to Turkey and all for a better life. Where all will be treated like royalty.
Can the ultimate dream be obtained?
I flew through this book. Just couldn't put it down. Extremely unique and clever. Packed with wacky pictures to paint your way to the promise land. Dreams are great to have to reach for something that you believe is better. Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side because it's fake. It's always great to try to better your life, just make sure it's what you desire most.
Who knew that not only can David act, but he can write on hell of a hilarious novel?... *cough cough* sorry! I meant to say Cow-writer of a memoir.
I came across this book because it was recommended to me. A lot of people said if you love Bukowski, you'll fall in love with this. No one can compare to the great Bukowski and the only other person that even comes close is Gonzo. So, if that's why you are here....you're going to be digging yourself a hole. It stands out on its own without being compared to other off the wall hilarity.
Here we meet Eloise, the cow. She's just living the life on the farm. Her bestie Mallory are like sisters and they tease all the bulls.
While out of her pen, Eloise sees the family watching this god box and the horror that she sees makes her stomachs turn. How horribly treated animals are on the farm.
She makes it her dream to travel to India, the promise land so she can be treated like the Queen she is.
Living on a farm, gossip spreads between the animals and now she has travel companions.
A cow, a turkey, and a pig walk into an airport! What a start to a great joke.
Cow wants to go to India, Pig to Israel and turkey to Turkey and all for a better life. Where all will be treated like royalty.
Can the ultimate dream be obtained?
I flew through this book. Just couldn't put it down. Extremely unique and clever. Packed with wacky pictures to paint your way to the promise land. Dreams are great to have to reach for something that you believe is better. Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side because it's fake. It's always great to try to better your life, just make sure it's what you desire most.
September 12, 2016
Cuando me enteré de que el popular David Duchovny había escrito una novela donde su protagonista es una vaca llamada Elsie Bovary (el nombre ya apunta maneras) que se cuestiona desde una fina y aparentemente ingenua ironía todo el mundo de los humanos, flipé mandarinas. De un tipo que desde el complejo y frágil mundo de la interpretación ha marcado a más de una generación con personajes tan oscuros, icónicos y radicalmente diferentes como el agente del FBI Fox Mulder de Expediente X y el escritor fucker Hank Moody de Californication, lo que nunca esperas descubrir es que haya escrito una novela, y menos de estas características tan surrealistas. En condiciones normales nunca me hubiera sentido atraído por las ínfulas novelescas de un actor mediático como él, a pesar de ser un gran admirador suyo, pero la premisa argumental de esta primera novela, Holy cow (vaca sagrada), no sólo no pasa desapercibida sino que consigue transformar la curiosidad inicial en delicioso y crujiente pasto para rumiar. Este es, sin duda, el primer gran triunfo de la lectura que nos espera.
La reseña completa en español en http://elbiblionauta.com/es/2016/09/1...
La ressenya completa en català a http://elbiblionauta.com/ca/2016/09/1...
La reseña completa en español en http://elbiblionauta.com/es/2016/09/1...
La ressenya completa en català a http://elbiblionauta.com/ca/2016/09/1...
March 6, 2017
ahaha yeah not a fan
I am curious as to the parts where it was getting preachy along religious and racial lines but I can't tell if it was supposed to be taken seriously or if the satire was just weak on purpose as a message in and of itself? This is me desperately projecting meaning onto what I just did to my brain.
But yeah I think the humour is not in my lane hereeee and I think as an overall I couldn't take it seriously--within the context of the book lol I do realize I had willingly picked up a book with a talking cow protagonist
quick read if your eyeballs are tired of the back of your eyelids lol idk
I am curious as to the parts where it was getting preachy along religious and racial lines but I can't tell if it was supposed to be taken seriously or if the satire was just weak on purpose as a message in and of itself? This is me desperately projecting meaning onto what I just did to my brain.
But yeah I think the humour is not in my lane hereeee and I think as an overall I couldn't take it seriously--within the context of the book lol I do realize I had willingly picked up a book with a talking cow protagonist
quick read if your eyeballs are tired of the back of your eyelids lol idk
July 18, 2017
A cow that migrates to Israel , the holy cow on the temple of Solomon? I dont know , sometimes funny, sometimes my thoughts was what is the point of this book?
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