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Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks
DO NOT READ THIS BOOK IF YOU WANT TO JUST "MANAGE" YOUR ANXIETY
There's a new and better way to treat anxiety, but few have ever heard it.
Most people are advised to either just "mange" their anxiety or medicate it away. If you're tired of just managing your anxiety problem, then follow the breakthrough approach explained in Barry McDonagh's latest book DARE.
Based on hard science and years of experience helping people who suffer from anxiety, Barry McDonagh has perfected the way to break free from anxiety and get people back living life to the fullest.
In this daring step-by-step guide you will learn how to:
-Stop panic attacks and end feelings of anxiety.
-Put an end to anxious and intrusive thoughts.
-Face any anxious situation you've been avoiding.
-Exercise and use natural supplements to keep anxiety at bay.
-Regain your confidence and feel like your old self again.
-Live a more bold and daring life!
THIS IS MUCH MORE THAN JUST A BOOK.
It comes with a free App and a powerful community of caring people who support each other as they break free from their anxiety. You can learn more about that at:
http: //www.DareResponse.com
There's a new and better way to treat anxiety, but few have ever heard it.
Most people are advised to either just "mange" their anxiety or medicate it away. If you're tired of just managing your anxiety problem, then follow the breakthrough approach explained in Barry McDonagh's latest book DARE.
Based on hard science and years of experience helping people who suffer from anxiety, Barry McDonagh has perfected the way to break free from anxiety and get people back living life to the fullest.
In this daring step-by-step guide you will learn how to:
-Stop panic attacks and end feelings of anxiety.
-Put an end to anxious and intrusive thoughts.
-Face any anxious situation you've been avoiding.
-Exercise and use natural supplements to keep anxiety at bay.
-Regain your confidence and feel like your old self again.
-Live a more bold and daring life!
THIS IS MUCH MORE THAN JUST A BOOK.
It comes with a free App and a powerful community of caring people who support each other as they break free from their anxiety. You can learn more about that at:
http: //www.DareResponse.com
242 pages, Paperback
First published May 8, 2015
5314 people are currently reading
10811 people want to read
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May 17, 2018
Alright, so I'm finally starting to come out of this year long bout of anxiety and have quite a few comments, good and constructive, about this book. Please do not tune this out because I am not on the 5 star train or this being long. I hope my analysis will help you in your own journey. Here we go:
---Pros---
1. Simple: Presents a simple method. Notice I said simple, not easy. It will likely take time and practice. But it is easy to spot where you went wrong.
2. Personable: Barry talks to you like a friend and human being deserving of respect, not as a patient or lab rat as many other books do.
3. Addresses the problem: Directly addresses fear of fear and a logical way out, unlike many books and psychiatrists which will label you as lifelong disabled requiring medication and "management".
4. 21st century adaptations: DARE program has apps, coaching, mindfulness meditations, social media outlets, etc.
---Cons---
1. Secondary Source Information: This is not a "breakthrough from outside the world of academia" and certainly not deserving of the tagline, "Every once in a while a book comes along that completely transform that field - this is that book for anxiety." Outside of Barry describing his personal experiences, literally 80% of the contest is rework from Dr. Claire Weekes' book Hope and Help for Your Nerves with vital points missing. Several sentences are copied and pasted from her book with only a word or so changed. If it wasn't for his book, I would have never found Dr. Weekes' books since she has been dead for 30 years. They are more intelligent, more practical, more thorough, more empathetic, and more genuine than Barry's DARE book, in addition to containing many vital points he did not include. It also gave me encouragement that these are real problems, not a result of counterculture of the 1970s, generation "snowflake"/millennials, social media, etc., as Hope And Help for Your Nerves was written in 1962 and describes my life to a tee.
Barry's DARE approach: D - Diffuse, A - Allow, R - Run Towards, E - Engage
Dr. Weekes' approach in several books: Face, Accept, Float (basically Accept on steroids), Let Time Pass
2. Application of DARE Approach to Outside of Panic Disorder/Agoraphobia (Fear of Fear) Not Well Defined: Barry claims the approach as written works for OCD, Social Anxiety, GAD, PTSD, Depression - whatever you have, and several reviewers including myself are scratching our heads - "huh?". It is true that Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT), the foundation of the DARE book can be applied to other problems - you just have to know how. See my recommendations for books below.
3. Unhealthily Negative Approach to Medication: Barry talks down medication in every reference he makes to it, from claiming it is a myth that anxiety should be medicated away, people walking around with Xanax in their pockets as a crutch, etc. As Dr. Weekes describes and Brain Lock describes (applies even if you don't have OCD), there are appropriate and inappropriate uses of medications. Long term use of benzodiazepines (Xanax, etc.) leads to addiction and long term use of SSRIs/SNRIs (Zoloft, Prozac, etc.) is like "walking a tightrope". If you aren't learning skills to cope with the anxiety, when the SSRIs/SNRIs poop out (might be 12 months, might be 12 years after starting), you will fall down. Medication only prolongs the inevitable need to learn to accept the sensations. Unfortunately many psychiatrists (including several of mine past) view it as a long term solution in the "anxiety management" model. So what is an appropriate use of medication? Brain Lock describes it best as a comparison to "water wings" when a child is learning to swim. For me and many others, the anxiety, panic, and depression is simply too overwhelming to do anything. An SSRI lifted me up and made SO MUCH EASIER to be able to apply the DARE approach. Just like "water wings" for swimming in which air can be let out over time to lessen the floatation effect, the medication dose can be decreased SLOWLY. Brain Lock author said that most people he treated for OCD eventually require a low dosage or no medication. Given that OCD is much more biological in nature than any other anxiety/depression disorder, that is highly highly encouraging that folks with other issues can do it too.
4. Barry's Ego Gets in the Way At Times: From the very beginning of the book he said this "journey" is "not for everyone." To his credit, there are some great chapters on not giving into shame, but what if the DARE approach isn't enough? What if you need medication? What if you need to leave your job/schooling for a while? What if you need more help than traditional outpatient can provide? I tend to think it would make Barry look bad to discuss this, as he makes the DARE process out to feel fail proof. And some people might be cured right away. I wasn't one, and struggled hard and almost threw the book in the trashcan as I withdrew into deep depression and shame feeling like a failure that the Amazon "miracle cure" DARE book on anxiety with 90% 5 stars could not cure me.
5. The DARE Book Only Discusses Half of the Problem For Many People: What if your anxiety/panic started because of Insoluble Problems (bad work/home situation), Sorrow, Guilt, Disgrace? And so that is issue number one along with issue two being fear of fear. DARE will help with the fear of fear, but half of Dr. Weekes' book covers issue number one that the DARE book is missing. Also, chronic anxiety, panic, fear of fear over time fatigues the body and mind and leads to in this order: indecision, suggestibility, loss of confidence, feelings of personality disintegration, feelings of unreality, obsession, depression/apathy. I myself got all the way to depression/apathy and could felt like I couldn't keep winding myself to do the DARE approach. DARE, Dr. Weekes' book and short term medication helped me power through the depression.
6. Encourages Engaging in Activities Too Aggressively: Step E of DARE is Engage which means fill yourself with activities. So here I was rushing here, rushing there, trying to occupy every second of my time, doing relaxation exercises, physical exercises, doing mindfulness exercises 3 times a day, visit this therapist, visit that therapist, in order to be healed quickly. That only accelerated my decline into Depression/Apathy. I was spent. And I didn't know what was wrong with me. You have to do all this in moderation. Float along with it, accept things for how they are. Do occupation only in your capacity, even if it means leaving work/school for a little while. I felt so much better after giving myself permission to sleep more, feel bad, be anxious, etc.
---Advice to You from Me**---
**Disclaimer: use at your own risk.
1. Go SLOW and at Your Own Pace: Everyone heals differently. As Dr. Weekes said, some are cured after reading her book once and some it takes months if not years. See item 6 on cons. Do not exhaust yourself trying to be a hero. Go slow and at your own, steady pace.
2. Expect to Use DARE As A Handbook: The first time you read these books it will be monumental. However, plan to keep the Kindle version on your phone or carry the book with you. At times when I get all panicky I will read some from the books and it helps almost as much as Xanax.
3. If You Need More Help, Admit It: Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. I was so afraid to ask for more help due to the stigma and having to leave work temporally but I am soooo glad I did. Life is too short. The first step is a therapist and a psychiatrist for medication. Obviously that step doesn't require leaving work or school. The second step is Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) which is 3 days a week for 3 hours a day, which could be done with part time work or reduced hours. The third step is Partial Hospitalization Program (PHP) which is 5 days a week for 6 hours a day. The fourth and final step is Inpatient Hospitalization, but honestly few anxious people need that unless they are facing drug addictions, suicidal urges, homicidal urges, etc.
4. Get Your Friends/Trusted Family in the Loop: Talk to your friends and trusted family members. I withdrew from my best friends for 10 months and they thought I didn't want to be friends anymore. I finally explained to them what was going on at the same time I was seeking more help, and they were EXTREMELY supportive. Well, most of them. That's the other thing I found out. When you suffer with anything whether it be anxiety, cancer, etc., you will find out who your true friends are. The ones who didn't support me I pruned out of my life and the ones that did and I are even closer.
5. Don't be Afraid/Disenchanted to Try Medication: Don't try to be a hero. If it is too much to handle with an honest effort at the DARE approach and reasonable time passing, pursue medication. You have to be functional in your work and school domains so that you can financially afford to live. I tried to be a hero and do without medication and work became too much to handle and things declined to the point where I was depressed and had to leave work to recover.
6. Stay Away From Psychoanalysists….At Least Until You are Less Sensitized to Anxiety: First off, let me define a Psychoanalysist. Not all therapists are them. Psychoanalysis tries to determine causes from childhood trauma, past pains, etc. -- think laying on the couch, Freud, etc. My mom died when I was age 4. When I'm battling intense panic driven from a fear of fear and a bad work situation, do you think I want to talk about my mom dying? That made things HORRIBLE. Few people recover this way. So hold off them at least until you are less anxious. Always ask a new therapist his or her approach before visiting.
7. Make the Most Out of Therapy Appointments: Therapists don’t want to admit it, but bibliotherapy (self-help through books) has a very high success rate and is CHEAP. You can buy a whole bookshelf of books for less than the price of one therapy session nowadays. So try the books first. They are written by world class authors who know more about the specific subject than most therapists do in my opinion. Therapists are good for insoluble problems and seeing things that you can't see so they still provide much value.
8. Get Out of the Bad Situation if You Are Able: Wounds opened daily are too slow to heal. It's not always wise for everyone to leave work or school due to lack of organized occupation, but sometimes you have to. I was skeptical but it helped me so much to heal before going back. Just know a few things. Everyone says "oh you are protected for having a disability", etc. What does that mean? Look into your company HR policies as well as federal/state/local governmental regulations about what your rights are in the workplace. They can give you "reasonable accommodations" but they do not have to put up with a performance decline. If your performance is failing, look into FMLA and short term disability. FMLA guarantees you 3 months off unpaid protected per year in the US, and the STD makes it paid. Also -- YOUR BOSS IS NOT YOUR FRIEND. I don't care what kind of mental health support HR propaganda your company has. I don't care how kind and considerate your boss seems, willing to meet you outside work for coffee/beer. Often times they do this to get more information out of you, which you are likely to give it not careful in your vulnerable state. Happened to me. The truth is they have to make business decisions based on your performance. Discrimination is not always easy to prove. You only tell them the minimum information needed per regulations and to cool their nerves about your behavior. And document EVERYTHING, all conversations, all harassment if any exists by e-mail and BCC your personal e-mail. Most therapists I've encountered in private practice have never worked for a typical job or corporation and are very disconnected with how to handle HR, etc. So take their word with a grain of salt.
9. You Will Come Out of This at the Other End: This stuff always passes. I felt horribly helpless and feel so much better now. You can do it if I can do it.
10. Be Humble and Kind: Everyone heals at their own rate. Some are unresponsive to medications and suffer hard for a very long time. I had a bout of anxiety in 2008 that I resolved quickly (nowhere near as severe as today). For years, I had little patience for people with anxiety or other ailments and just thought "it's easy…go read this book and take this pill." Then I struggled hard this past year. My anxiety turned me from a very uptight, cut throat, intolerant person to a person filled with kindness and compassion. Realize that sometimes good people struggle and need a chance to get back up again.
---Useful Books That Helped Me---
Recommended reading in this order:
1. DARE by Barry McDonagh. Duh.
2. Hope and Help for Your Nerves (UK edition - Self-Help for Your Nerves) by Dr. Claire Weekes. The staple that started it all.
3. The Mindful Way Through Depression by Mark Williams and John Teasdale. Applies just as well to anxiety. Gives you an understanding of how the method behind DARE/Dr. Weekes' books can be applied to other issues besides fear of fear.
4. Essential Help for Your Nerves (2 books in one - More Help for Your Nerves and Peace From Nervous Suffering) by Dr. Claire Weekes. Needs to be read after Book 1, but contains more and updated information.
5. If you suffer from Agoraphobia (fear of places/situations where attacks have occurred), read Simple Effective Treatment of Agoraphobia by Dr. Claire Weekes. Needs to be read after Book 1, but contains more and updated information.
6. If you suffer from OCD, read Brain Lock by Dr. Jeffery M. Schwartz. Gives you an understanding of how the method behind DARE/Dr. Weekes' books can be applied to OCD.
7. If you suffer from Depression, read The Depression Cure by Stephen S. Ilardi. Non medication treatments for depression and anxiety. However, GO SLOW AND AT YOUR OWN PACE.
Good luck, you can do it!
---Pros---
1. Simple: Presents a simple method. Notice I said simple, not easy. It will likely take time and practice. But it is easy to spot where you went wrong.
2. Personable: Barry talks to you like a friend and human being deserving of respect, not as a patient or lab rat as many other books do.
3. Addresses the problem: Directly addresses fear of fear and a logical way out, unlike many books and psychiatrists which will label you as lifelong disabled requiring medication and "management".
4. 21st century adaptations: DARE program has apps, coaching, mindfulness meditations, social media outlets, etc.
---Cons---
1. Secondary Source Information: This is not a "breakthrough from outside the world of academia" and certainly not deserving of the tagline, "Every once in a while a book comes along that completely transform that field - this is that book for anxiety." Outside of Barry describing his personal experiences, literally 80% of the contest is rework from Dr. Claire Weekes' book Hope and Help for Your Nerves with vital points missing. Several sentences are copied and pasted from her book with only a word or so changed. If it wasn't for his book, I would have never found Dr. Weekes' books since she has been dead for 30 years. They are more intelligent, more practical, more thorough, more empathetic, and more genuine than Barry's DARE book, in addition to containing many vital points he did not include. It also gave me encouragement that these are real problems, not a result of counterculture of the 1970s, generation "snowflake"/millennials, social media, etc., as Hope And Help for Your Nerves was written in 1962 and describes my life to a tee.
Barry's DARE approach: D - Diffuse, A - Allow, R - Run Towards, E - Engage
Dr. Weekes' approach in several books: Face, Accept, Float (basically Accept on steroids), Let Time Pass
2. Application of DARE Approach to Outside of Panic Disorder/Agoraphobia (Fear of Fear) Not Well Defined: Barry claims the approach as written works for OCD, Social Anxiety, GAD, PTSD, Depression - whatever you have, and several reviewers including myself are scratching our heads - "huh?". It is true that Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT), the foundation of the DARE book can be applied to other problems - you just have to know how. See my recommendations for books below.
3. Unhealthily Negative Approach to Medication: Barry talks down medication in every reference he makes to it, from claiming it is a myth that anxiety should be medicated away, people walking around with Xanax in their pockets as a crutch, etc. As Dr. Weekes describes and Brain Lock describes (applies even if you don't have OCD), there are appropriate and inappropriate uses of medications. Long term use of benzodiazepines (Xanax, etc.) leads to addiction and long term use of SSRIs/SNRIs (Zoloft, Prozac, etc.) is like "walking a tightrope". If you aren't learning skills to cope with the anxiety, when the SSRIs/SNRIs poop out (might be 12 months, might be 12 years after starting), you will fall down. Medication only prolongs the inevitable need to learn to accept the sensations. Unfortunately many psychiatrists (including several of mine past) view it as a long term solution in the "anxiety management" model. So what is an appropriate use of medication? Brain Lock describes it best as a comparison to "water wings" when a child is learning to swim. For me and many others, the anxiety, panic, and depression is simply too overwhelming to do anything. An SSRI lifted me up and made SO MUCH EASIER to be able to apply the DARE approach. Just like "water wings" for swimming in which air can be let out over time to lessen the floatation effect, the medication dose can be decreased SLOWLY. Brain Lock author said that most people he treated for OCD eventually require a low dosage or no medication. Given that OCD is much more biological in nature than any other anxiety/depression disorder, that is highly highly encouraging that folks with other issues can do it too.
4. Barry's Ego Gets in the Way At Times: From the very beginning of the book he said this "journey" is "not for everyone." To his credit, there are some great chapters on not giving into shame, but what if the DARE approach isn't enough? What if you need medication? What if you need to leave your job/schooling for a while? What if you need more help than traditional outpatient can provide? I tend to think it would make Barry look bad to discuss this, as he makes the DARE process out to feel fail proof. And some people might be cured right away. I wasn't one, and struggled hard and almost threw the book in the trashcan as I withdrew into deep depression and shame feeling like a failure that the Amazon "miracle cure" DARE book on anxiety with 90% 5 stars could not cure me.
5. The DARE Book Only Discusses Half of the Problem For Many People: What if your anxiety/panic started because of Insoluble Problems (bad work/home situation), Sorrow, Guilt, Disgrace? And so that is issue number one along with issue two being fear of fear. DARE will help with the fear of fear, but half of Dr. Weekes' book covers issue number one that the DARE book is missing. Also, chronic anxiety, panic, fear of fear over time fatigues the body and mind and leads to in this order: indecision, suggestibility, loss of confidence, feelings of personality disintegration, feelings of unreality, obsession, depression/apathy. I myself got all the way to depression/apathy and could felt like I couldn't keep winding myself to do the DARE approach. DARE, Dr. Weekes' book and short term medication helped me power through the depression.
6. Encourages Engaging in Activities Too Aggressively: Step E of DARE is Engage which means fill yourself with activities. So here I was rushing here, rushing there, trying to occupy every second of my time, doing relaxation exercises, physical exercises, doing mindfulness exercises 3 times a day, visit this therapist, visit that therapist, in order to be healed quickly. That only accelerated my decline into Depression/Apathy. I was spent. And I didn't know what was wrong with me. You have to do all this in moderation. Float along with it, accept things for how they are. Do occupation only in your capacity, even if it means leaving work/school for a little while. I felt so much better after giving myself permission to sleep more, feel bad, be anxious, etc.
---Advice to You from Me**---
**Disclaimer: use at your own risk.
1. Go SLOW and at Your Own Pace: Everyone heals differently. As Dr. Weekes said, some are cured after reading her book once and some it takes months if not years. See item 6 on cons. Do not exhaust yourself trying to be a hero. Go slow and at your own, steady pace.
2. Expect to Use DARE As A Handbook: The first time you read these books it will be monumental. However, plan to keep the Kindle version on your phone or carry the book with you. At times when I get all panicky I will read some from the books and it helps almost as much as Xanax.
3. If You Need More Help, Admit It: Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. I was so afraid to ask for more help due to the stigma and having to leave work temporally but I am soooo glad I did. Life is too short. The first step is a therapist and a psychiatrist for medication. Obviously that step doesn't require leaving work or school. The second step is Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) which is 3 days a week for 3 hours a day, which could be done with part time work or reduced hours. The third step is Partial Hospitalization Program (PHP) which is 5 days a week for 6 hours a day. The fourth and final step is Inpatient Hospitalization, but honestly few anxious people need that unless they are facing drug addictions, suicidal urges, homicidal urges, etc.
4. Get Your Friends/Trusted Family in the Loop: Talk to your friends and trusted family members. I withdrew from my best friends for 10 months and they thought I didn't want to be friends anymore. I finally explained to them what was going on at the same time I was seeking more help, and they were EXTREMELY supportive. Well, most of them. That's the other thing I found out. When you suffer with anything whether it be anxiety, cancer, etc., you will find out who your true friends are. The ones who didn't support me I pruned out of my life and the ones that did and I are even closer.
5. Don't be Afraid/Disenchanted to Try Medication: Don't try to be a hero. If it is too much to handle with an honest effort at the DARE approach and reasonable time passing, pursue medication. You have to be functional in your work and school domains so that you can financially afford to live. I tried to be a hero and do without medication and work became too much to handle and things declined to the point where I was depressed and had to leave work to recover.
6. Stay Away From Psychoanalysists….At Least Until You are Less Sensitized to Anxiety: First off, let me define a Psychoanalysist. Not all therapists are them. Psychoanalysis tries to determine causes from childhood trauma, past pains, etc. -- think laying on the couch, Freud, etc. My mom died when I was age 4. When I'm battling intense panic driven from a fear of fear and a bad work situation, do you think I want to talk about my mom dying? That made things HORRIBLE. Few people recover this way. So hold off them at least until you are less anxious. Always ask a new therapist his or her approach before visiting.
7. Make the Most Out of Therapy Appointments: Therapists don’t want to admit it, but bibliotherapy (self-help through books) has a very high success rate and is CHEAP. You can buy a whole bookshelf of books for less than the price of one therapy session nowadays. So try the books first. They are written by world class authors who know more about the specific subject than most therapists do in my opinion. Therapists are good for insoluble problems and seeing things that you can't see so they still provide much value.
8. Get Out of the Bad Situation if You Are Able: Wounds opened daily are too slow to heal. It's not always wise for everyone to leave work or school due to lack of organized occupation, but sometimes you have to. I was skeptical but it helped me so much to heal before going back. Just know a few things. Everyone says "oh you are protected for having a disability", etc. What does that mean? Look into your company HR policies as well as federal/state/local governmental regulations about what your rights are in the workplace. They can give you "reasonable accommodations" but they do not have to put up with a performance decline. If your performance is failing, look into FMLA and short term disability. FMLA guarantees you 3 months off unpaid protected per year in the US, and the STD makes it paid. Also -- YOUR BOSS IS NOT YOUR FRIEND. I don't care what kind of mental health support HR propaganda your company has. I don't care how kind and considerate your boss seems, willing to meet you outside work for coffee/beer. Often times they do this to get more information out of you, which you are likely to give it not careful in your vulnerable state. Happened to me. The truth is they have to make business decisions based on your performance. Discrimination is not always easy to prove. You only tell them the minimum information needed per regulations and to cool their nerves about your behavior. And document EVERYTHING, all conversations, all harassment if any exists by e-mail and BCC your personal e-mail. Most therapists I've encountered in private practice have never worked for a typical job or corporation and are very disconnected with how to handle HR, etc. So take their word with a grain of salt.
9. You Will Come Out of This at the Other End: This stuff always passes. I felt horribly helpless and feel so much better now. You can do it if I can do it.
10. Be Humble and Kind: Everyone heals at their own rate. Some are unresponsive to medications and suffer hard for a very long time. I had a bout of anxiety in 2008 that I resolved quickly (nowhere near as severe as today). For years, I had little patience for people with anxiety or other ailments and just thought "it's easy…go read this book and take this pill." Then I struggled hard this past year. My anxiety turned me from a very uptight, cut throat, intolerant person to a person filled with kindness and compassion. Realize that sometimes good people struggle and need a chance to get back up again.
---Useful Books That Helped Me---
Recommended reading in this order:
1. DARE by Barry McDonagh. Duh.
2. Hope and Help for Your Nerves (UK edition - Self-Help for Your Nerves) by Dr. Claire Weekes. The staple that started it all.
3. The Mindful Way Through Depression by Mark Williams and John Teasdale. Applies just as well to anxiety. Gives you an understanding of how the method behind DARE/Dr. Weekes' books can be applied to other issues besides fear of fear.
4. Essential Help for Your Nerves (2 books in one - More Help for Your Nerves and Peace From Nervous Suffering) by Dr. Claire Weekes. Needs to be read after Book 1, but contains more and updated information.
5. If you suffer from Agoraphobia (fear of places/situations where attacks have occurred), read Simple Effective Treatment of Agoraphobia by Dr. Claire Weekes. Needs to be read after Book 1, but contains more and updated information.
6. If you suffer from OCD, read Brain Lock by Dr. Jeffery M. Schwartz. Gives you an understanding of how the method behind DARE/Dr. Weekes' books can be applied to OCD.
7. If you suffer from Depression, read The Depression Cure by Stephen S. Ilardi. Non medication treatments for depression and anxiety. However, GO SLOW AND AT YOUR OWN PACE.
Good luck, you can do it!
January 10, 2016
I seriously recommend this book to anybody who has anxiety and is wanting to be free of it.
I really wish I could've found this book when I first started to suffer from panic attacks after I experienced a traumatic event five years ago. The author himself has suffered from anxiety and has managed to break free from it. He writes in a very encouraging and understanding manner that is quick and easy to read. I found the techniques and the information given to be extremely valuable. He explains the DARE Response in simple steps and thoroughly explains how, where, and when to utilize them. The book gets repetitive at times but it has helped me retain the information better. He also has chapters to help the readers in giving up fearing their anxious thoughts, giving up thinking they're abnormal, giving up crutches, giving up being so hard on themselves, and giving up the idea that anxiety is an everlasting curse. Most importantly, Barry teaches you to have confidence and love for yourself which are both essential to recover from anxiety. .
I really wish I could've found this book when I first started to suffer from panic attacks after I experienced a traumatic event five years ago. The author himself has suffered from anxiety and has managed to break free from it. He writes in a very encouraging and understanding manner that is quick and easy to read. I found the techniques and the information given to be extremely valuable. He explains the DARE Response in simple steps and thoroughly explains how, where, and when to utilize them. The book gets repetitive at times but it has helped me retain the information better. He also has chapters to help the readers in giving up fearing their anxious thoughts, giving up thinking they're abnormal, giving up crutches, giving up being so hard on themselves, and giving up the idea that anxiety is an everlasting curse. Most importantly, Barry teaches you to have confidence and love for yourself which are both essential to recover from anxiety. .
March 25, 2019
I had to stop reading after this: "People tend to overidentify with clinical labels once they have been given one by their doctor or mental health professional. Yet an anxiety disorder is simply an experience that a person moves through, just like a period of grief or sadness."
As someone who has had anxiety almost their entire life, it was ridiculous to see anxiety being compared to a period of sadness. Not to mention that the author brushes off the diagnosis given by medical professionals. Maybe this is supposed to help people who are feeling anxious about specific things, I'm not sure. However, it was not helpful for myself, and I've been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder.
As someone who has had anxiety almost their entire life, it was ridiculous to see anxiety being compared to a period of sadness. Not to mention that the author brushes off the diagnosis given by medical professionals. Maybe this is supposed to help people who are feeling anxious about specific things, I'm not sure. However, it was not helpful for myself, and I've been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder.
February 2, 2023
Dare, is a great positive book about how to treat anxiety. I am hoping to start again with this book. Great tips in it and a great explanation of how to do things. Lots of examples and the writer really understand anxiety. Thank you Barry for providing me a free copy during corona virus.
April 21, 2016
This is a "must" read for anyone who believes they cannot live a life without anxiety or panic attacks.
The explanations, tools, and examples in this book are so down to earth, that from the very first pages you are motivated to go out and change your way of life and how you've confronted and felt about anxiety.
I only wish this book was around when I first started experiencing panic attacks. I am absolutely positive my life would have been completely different.
Still, I am most grateful, that even now it has helped me immensely to overcome my panic attacks and the never ending fear of fear that I've undergone most of my life.
Yes, I highly recommend Barry McDonagh's book "DARE".
It is a life changer!!!
The explanations, tools, and examples in this book are so down to earth, that from the very first pages you are motivated to go out and change your way of life and how you've confronted and felt about anxiety.
I only wish this book was around when I first started experiencing panic attacks. I am absolutely positive my life would have been completely different.
Still, I am most grateful, that even now it has helped me immensely to overcome my panic attacks and the never ending fear of fear that I've undergone most of my life.
Yes, I highly recommend Barry McDonagh's book "DARE".
It is a life changer!!!
February 28, 2020
This is probably solid advice for some people but not for me.
The book's big problem is the amount of assumptions it makes -eg. get your heart checked out and trust the uneventful results.. But they weren't uneventful, I do have a heart problem.
And someone with diabetes wouldn't beat themselves up about it the same way those with anxiety do - I have both (type 1 diabetes & GAD) and I do (even if I'm aware that I didn't actually cause either).
Anxiety can exist alongside other issues including physical health problems but this book doesn't want to acknowledge that.
Besides that, it's also super repetitive which is kind of understandable because its trying to re-enforce the "DARE response" but I just felt babied by how much it felt the need to rehash a simple concept - plus the idea falls apart quickly when it's applied to things like intrusive thoughts (no, I'm not going to 'get excited' and 'run towards' violent thoughts).
For anyone who's curious
D - defuse worry thoughts by saying 'so what'
A - accept lingering anxiety
R - run towards the anxiety by telling yourself you're excited by it
E - engage in something so you're not focused on the anxiousness
The book's big problem is the amount of assumptions it makes -eg. get your heart checked out and trust the uneventful results.. But they weren't uneventful, I do have a heart problem.
And someone with diabetes wouldn't beat themselves up about it the same way those with anxiety do - I have both (type 1 diabetes & GAD) and I do (even if I'm aware that I didn't actually cause either).
Anxiety can exist alongside other issues including physical health problems but this book doesn't want to acknowledge that.
Besides that, it's also super repetitive which is kind of understandable because its trying to re-enforce the "DARE response" but I just felt babied by how much it felt the need to rehash a simple concept - plus the idea falls apart quickly when it's applied to things like intrusive thoughts (no, I'm not going to 'get excited' and 'run towards' violent thoughts).
For anyone who's curious
D - defuse worry thoughts by saying 'so what'
A - accept lingering anxiety
R - run towards the anxiety by telling yourself you're excited by it
E - engage in something so you're not focused on the anxiousness
April 20, 2017
I hate it when I don't immediately review books. I'm so forgetful, and it doesn't help that I haven't been highlighting anything in my books. I'm at least going to have to start that, and taking notes as I read.
My biggest remaining impression of this book is that it could have been 50 pages long. The author makes his case that you have to accept anxiety, invite it in, and only when you fully give into it will you be able to control it (although it will still always be there; it just won't impact you as much).
It makes sense. I know I work myself up and enter an anxiety loop with how I'm feeling, but I can't say this book was very helpful. Mainly, it might be because I've discovered my issue isn't panic attacks; it's an actual heart stopping (I mean that literally) issue.
So, a decent premise, but way too long a book. The ridiculous, pointless graphs included and tables that repeated the same information over and over seemed to be there just to make the book longer. But maybe the repetition helps some people? The graphs seriously were pointless.
My biggest remaining impression of this book is that it could have been 50 pages long. The author makes his case that you have to accept anxiety, invite it in, and only when you fully give into it will you be able to control it (although it will still always be there; it just won't impact you as much).
It makes sense. I know I work myself up and enter an anxiety loop with how I'm feeling, but I can't say this book was very helpful. Mainly, it might be because I've discovered my issue isn't panic attacks; it's an actual heart stopping (I mean that literally) issue.
So, a decent premise, but way too long a book. The ridiculous, pointless graphs included and tables that repeated the same information over and over seemed to be there just to make the book longer. But maybe the repetition helps some people? The graphs seriously were pointless.
December 18, 2016
"illuminate caffeine... I'm constantly amazed by how many well-educated people come to me for help, and have never made the connection between the amount of coffee they drink and the sensitization they feel" grrr..
For myself, and all those struggling with anxiety
Check out Lori's notes :)
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
For myself, and all those struggling with anxiety
Check out Lori's notes :)
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
September 15, 2017
i've read several books on anxiety. Most of which were quite helpful. But this one takes the cake by far. The simplicity and effectiveness of the DARE response to cope with anxiety is unparalleled.
February 28, 2025
everything i needed to hear right now
October 1, 2018
It works!!!
This book is a life saver. I've struggled with anxiety my whole life, but it only got to the point I couldn't function anymore in the past year. I've went through countless sets of antidepressants, got hooked on Xanax and right when it felt like I couldn't take it anymore, I've found this book. At that point, I was thinking: "There is nothing that can help me! But what the hell, let's read it!"
It amazes me that I've seen so many doctors, various specialists, therapist etc. through my life and in the past year, but none of them told me about using the method that was described in the book. When I first tried to apply it, it scared the hell our of me, I'm not going to lie. I thought to myself: Really? How could this be helpful more than popping a pill that will give me a piece of mind in less than 15 minutes? But I was determined. Imagine my surprise when only after a few days, I noticed a slight decrease in my anxiety level. I decided to stick with it and I'm happy to say that it's only been two weeks and I'm gaining confidence each day. Whatever you do, stick with this method, listen to the author, and never, I mean NEVER, give up!! I still have a long way to go. Anxiety can't be cured overnight but it CAN be cured, indeed. I'd like to thank the author of the book for being there for me when I thought I was going to give up. I now have a hope and hope is all you really need when battling anxiety. Thank you Barry!!! It might sound too dramatic but I feel like your book has changed my life.
This book is a life saver. I've struggled with anxiety my whole life, but it only got to the point I couldn't function anymore in the past year. I've went through countless sets of antidepressants, got hooked on Xanax and right when it felt like I couldn't take it anymore, I've found this book. At that point, I was thinking: "There is nothing that can help me! But what the hell, let's read it!"
It amazes me that I've seen so many doctors, various specialists, therapist etc. through my life and in the past year, but none of them told me about using the method that was described in the book. When I first tried to apply it, it scared the hell our of me, I'm not going to lie. I thought to myself: Really? How could this be helpful more than popping a pill that will give me a piece of mind in less than 15 minutes? But I was determined. Imagine my surprise when only after a few days, I noticed a slight decrease in my anxiety level. I decided to stick with it and I'm happy to say that it's only been two weeks and I'm gaining confidence each day. Whatever you do, stick with this method, listen to the author, and never, I mean NEVER, give up!! I still have a long way to go. Anxiety can't be cured overnight but it CAN be cured, indeed. I'd like to thank the author of the book for being there for me when I thought I was going to give up. I now have a hope and hope is all you really need when battling anxiety. Thank you Barry!!! It might sound too dramatic but I feel like your book has changed my life.
June 11, 2017
1. I almost thought this was Satire.
2. This was basically the concept of Mindfulness for Westerners. This is, in fact, not new at all.
3. He seems like he isn't someone who's ever experienced anxiety first hand and what he's asking of people is unrealistic. Some okay ideas conceptually that would not actually work in practice.
2. This was basically the concept of Mindfulness for Westerners. This is, in fact, not new at all.
3. He seems like he isn't someone who's ever experienced anxiety first hand and what he's asking of people is unrealistic. Some okay ideas conceptually that would not actually work in practice.
August 13, 2020
این کتاب رو برای نیازم به کمک برای حل اضطرابم شروع کردم. نگاهم و البته امیدم بیشتر به برداشت راهکار بود، هدف نوشته شدن هم همین بوده، ولی کار اصلی ای که می کنه نیاز به حضور کسی برای
صحبت راجع به این موضوع رو پر می کنه. به رغم اینکه نویسنده ترکیبی از کتاب دکتر ویکس و مدیتیشن رو ارائه میده، به رغم اینکه خود کتاب سرشار از اشاره و راهنمایی برای حل اضطرابی هست که به خاطرش رو به این کتاب آوردم، نمی تونم راحت این کتاب رو امتیاز بدم یا حتی پیشنهاد کنم. به دید من بستگی به خواننده و نگاهش و نیازش داره. اگه دنبال راهکار فوقالعاده هستید احتمال قریب به یقین کوتاه مدت حس خوبی بهتون میده و بلند مدت امید چندانی بهش نمیشه داشت، اگه به عنوان کسی که فقط صحبت می کنه تا بدونید تو این مسیر تنها نیستید که با این جزییات راجع به حمله هایی که پیش میاد فکر می کنه نگاه کنید، بهترین لذت ممکن رو می برید.
//
صحبت راجع به این موضوع رو پر می کنه. به رغم اینکه نویسنده ترکیبی از کتاب دکتر ویکس و مدیتیشن رو ارائه میده، به رغم اینکه خود کتاب سرشار از اشاره و راهنمایی برای حل اضطرابی هست که به خاطرش رو به این کتاب آوردم، نمی تونم راحت این کتاب رو امتیاز بدم یا حتی پیشنهاد کنم. به دید من بستگی به خواننده و نگاهش و نیازش داره. اگه دنبال راهکار فوقالعاده هستید احتمال قریب به یقین کوتاه مدت حس خوبی بهتون میده و بلند مدت امید چندانی بهش نمیشه داشت، اگه به عنوان کسی که فقط صحبت می کنه تا بدونید تو این مسیر تنها نیستید که با این جزییات راجع به حمله هایی که پیش میاد فکر می کنه نگاه کنید، بهترین لذت ممکن رو می برید.
//
January 8, 2018
Great concepts, weak packaging.
July 11, 2020
There are different types of anxiety disorders and I would say DARE is mostly for those whose anxiety is more self-hypochondria or fear of anxiety itself. There are some good methods and points for that. I'm not in this group though so I can't say it was very helpful for me.
I also had three issues.
1) It could have been much shorter. It repeats the same things too many times. That could be motivational for some but not for me. For me that just got boring.
2) Anxiety is almost personified. As if it's a singular thing we can confront and chase. Anxiety as a feeling might be relatable for everyone in different severities, like the book kind of says. But how and why people get to that anxious state of mind differ. Right on that, it's unfortunate in an early chapter the writer says it's not a disorder. Anxiety is like puking. Sure, not every puke is a disorder/disease. Most people occasionally puke over variety of reasons. But the frequency and severity matters -- after a certain point it IS a disorder and no not everybody experiences that disorder. This is very important to recognize. There are still some people who think anxiety disorder is stress, and those who suffer from anxiety disorder can easily solve the problem and/or it manifests itself the same in every sufferer. That couldn't be more wrong.
3) The book mostly talks about how to deal with the physical symptoms that come with anxiety. Panic attacks are out of the blue and you think about your physical symptoms like "Oh my heart is pounding!" At this point the writer's suggestion "Bring it on!", like a more welcoming response to train the brain to not fear being anxious itself may perhaps work. But... a lot of people's anxiety is more than just physical symptoms and coming from some thoughts or phobias. For example, once my cat puked and me being overly anxious about loved ones' health, I instantly got an anxiety attack afterward. Obviously an overreaction on my part. But, the stress is also kind of valid because puking really is a sign of something about health is wrong at that moment. My instant thought process was "Why did she puke?? Is she ill?? Is it a serious illness????" During these I was nauseous, my heart was pounding from anxiety because of these thoughts. So to think "Oh bring it on I would love even faster heartbeats!" wouldn't help me. As those physical symptoms are side effects of anxious thoughts and my focus is on the thoughts. In the limited chapters about this kind of anxiety the suggestion is to live in the present and not to think the worst. That's great but it's "how to get there" we need help about.
Early in the book the writer says most other help methods for anxiety is to calm you down. Well, this is why. So the brain won't go to the worst case scenario by default that will trigger an anxiety attack.
I also had three issues.
1) It could have been much shorter. It repeats the same things too many times. That could be motivational for some but not for me. For me that just got boring.
2) Anxiety is almost personified. As if it's a singular thing we can confront and chase. Anxiety as a feeling might be relatable for everyone in different severities, like the book kind of says. But how and why people get to that anxious state of mind differ. Right on that, it's unfortunate in an early chapter the writer says it's not a disorder. Anxiety is like puking. Sure, not every puke is a disorder/disease. Most people occasionally puke over variety of reasons. But the frequency and severity matters -- after a certain point it IS a disorder and no not everybody experiences that disorder. This is very important to recognize. There are still some people who think anxiety disorder is stress, and those who suffer from anxiety disorder can easily solve the problem and/or it manifests itself the same in every sufferer. That couldn't be more wrong.
3) The book mostly talks about how to deal with the physical symptoms that come with anxiety. Panic attacks are out of the blue and you think about your physical symptoms like "Oh my heart is pounding!" At this point the writer's suggestion "Bring it on!", like a more welcoming response to train the brain to not fear being anxious itself may perhaps work. But... a lot of people's anxiety is more than just physical symptoms and coming from some thoughts or phobias. For example, once my cat puked and me being overly anxious about loved ones' health, I instantly got an anxiety attack afterward. Obviously an overreaction on my part. But, the stress is also kind of valid because puking really is a sign of something about health is wrong at that moment. My instant thought process was "Why did she puke?? Is she ill?? Is it a serious illness????" During these I was nauseous, my heart was pounding from anxiety because of these thoughts. So to think "Oh bring it on I would love even faster heartbeats!" wouldn't help me. As those physical symptoms are side effects of anxious thoughts and my focus is on the thoughts. In the limited chapters about this kind of anxiety the suggestion is to live in the present and not to think the worst. That's great but it's "how to get there" we need help about.
Early in the book the writer says most other help methods for anxiety is to calm you down. Well, this is why. So the brain won't go to the worst case scenario by default that will trigger an anxiety attack.
February 8, 2017
I got this because my young adult daughter and a friend my age both suffer anxiety issues in a way that makes their lives frequently miserable and contributes to suicidal ideation born of hopelessness and frustration. This book gives a person a remarkably clear plan of assertive self-training that resolves the stress of mental anxiety and gets you to a point where the physical manifestations no longer hamper you and even go away.
McDonagh clearly cares about people suffering from anxiety and panic attacks, having been there himself. I believe he truly desires to spread a good method of recovery rather than focusing on making money from his book. It would be priced higher, otherwise, and the bonus features would not be free. There is quite a bit of repetition and expansion throughout the book, but that is specifically meant to be there, as many people who have been beat down by anxiety and panic for years need the repetition to help the points sink in past the mental fog of exhaustion and hopelessness.
I really like how McDonagh takes the onus away from being a sufferer, while simultaneously making it clear that it is entirely possible for a person to take control of the healing method as well as it being their responsibility to do so. This method does not require a mental health professional's direction to follow, but coaching is available for those who want/need that extra help. I would think that this method can be helpful even for the most crippled people (such as agoraphobics and Monk-level OCDs), who may need a therapist's help to apply this to their lives.
I think this will be the best of the four highly rated books we chose to acquire, giving her a treatment answer that doesn't cost anything to pursue, and doesn't condemn one to a lifetime of medication to manage. At a small price, this book also brings you a support app for your phone and a Facebook support group if you wish to participate in either of those bonuses.
This book is invaluable for those suffering from anxiety, and I highly suggest people with loved ones suffering from anxiety read it as well. You'll better understand what your loved one is going through and if they choose to take control of their situation through this method, you'll be able to be helpful instead of hindering along the way. I hope mental health professionals are aware of this book and method.
McDonagh clearly cares about people suffering from anxiety and panic attacks, having been there himself. I believe he truly desires to spread a good method of recovery rather than focusing on making money from his book. It would be priced higher, otherwise, and the bonus features would not be free. There is quite a bit of repetition and expansion throughout the book, but that is specifically meant to be there, as many people who have been beat down by anxiety and panic for years need the repetition to help the points sink in past the mental fog of exhaustion and hopelessness.
I really like how McDonagh takes the onus away from being a sufferer, while simultaneously making it clear that it is entirely possible for a person to take control of the healing method as well as it being their responsibility to do so. This method does not require a mental health professional's direction to follow, but coaching is available for those who want/need that extra help. I would think that this method can be helpful even for the most crippled people (such as agoraphobics and Monk-level OCDs), who may need a therapist's help to apply this to their lives.
I think this will be the best of the four highly rated books we chose to acquire, giving her a treatment answer that doesn't cost anything to pursue, and doesn't condemn one to a lifetime of medication to manage. At a small price, this book also brings you a support app for your phone and a Facebook support group if you wish to participate in either of those bonuses.
This book is invaluable for those suffering from anxiety, and I highly suggest people with loved ones suffering from anxiety read it as well. You'll better understand what your loved one is going through and if they choose to take control of their situation through this method, you'll be able to be helpful instead of hindering along the way. I hope mental health professionals are aware of this book and method.
April 3, 2019
After the n-th time of self-praise for the dare method and this "great" book, after lots of vague and nebulous descriptions ("Remember that anxiety is like a wave flowing through your body…"), after learning that all scientific foundation for the book can be found in the appendix (and, apparently, nowhere else in the book), and after not being hooked at all after reading about 15% of the book, I'll pass.
December 7, 2019
WOW! I will be talking about and referencing this book forever. I will be recommending this book to everyone I cross paths with who deal with anxiety. It brought so much light to what I deal with daily and really gives me hope that I can deal. Thank you Barry!
December 30, 2019
Acceptance is the key. It seems counterintuitive, but it is one of the only things that works for anxious feelings.
Very practical and real advice with some good evidence to back it up.
Very practical and real advice with some good evidence to back it up.
March 12, 2025
Dit was echt een heel interessant boek om te lezen. Echt een aanrader als je meer wilt leren over the anxious mind.
June 21, 2025
If you suffer from panic attacks or anxiety, this is the book for you!!!! It has so many good tips and ways to rewire your disorder so you can love life again 🫶🏼
October 16, 2020
No matter how deranged and shocking your anxious thoughts are, I guarantee you there’s someone close to you who is also suffering in silence..
As I have said several times before, I struggled with anxiety for years. It is one of those things that I rarely talk about to people because they always think it is not as serious as I am making it to be. Either that or they think that everything can be resolved through prayer or therapy. While I am not against those methods, I do think that there needs to be a different approach for people who struggle with all kinds of anxiety. I loved how this book talked about how to deal with stress in multiple of occassions as well as coping mechaisms that people can do. I also loved how they talked about the things that you should get rid of when trying to cope with anxiety such as avoiding caffeine, sugar, alcohol and other things that tends to overwhelm people.
I liked the DARE approach but there are so many thoughts that the author offers to help people that deals with anxiety and depression. I also loved how he did not tie depression and anxiety together but they all had their separate part.
Amazing novel to read for those that struggle with anxiety or depression.. The author made you feel so accepted while reading it.
It won't always be like this.. They'll be better days!
As I have said several times before, I struggled with anxiety for years. It is one of those things that I rarely talk about to people because they always think it is not as serious as I am making it to be. Either that or they think that everything can be resolved through prayer or therapy. While I am not against those methods, I do think that there needs to be a different approach for people who struggle with all kinds of anxiety. I loved how this book talked about how to deal with stress in multiple of occassions as well as coping mechaisms that people can do. I also loved how they talked about the things that you should get rid of when trying to cope with anxiety such as avoiding caffeine, sugar, alcohol and other things that tends to overwhelm people.
I liked the DARE approach but there are so many thoughts that the author offers to help people that deals with anxiety and depression. I also loved how he did not tie depression and anxiety together but they all had their separate part.
Amazing novel to read for those that struggle with anxiety or depression.. The author made you feel so accepted while reading it.
It won't always be like this.. They'll be better days!
July 19, 2019
This book launched the start of my recovery journey. It has some great information about dealing with guilt, learning to see anxiety as harmless etc. for that I give it a star. I bought this book just over a year ago and read it several times. I also invested in the app and joined the fb community neither of which was conducive in my recovery.
My biggest criticism of this book is that it provides a 4 step ‘technique’ to stop and end panic and anxiety. When in fact, true healing of anxiety doesn’t work through repetition of steps or certain phrases. The part on accepting and allowing was the most crucial part of the book and was only a few pages long. It is the key to recovery. There is no in depth explanation of acceptance. I wondered why I never got better and why this approach increased my confusion and anxiety. I’d say leave it if you can, there aren’t many success stories using this approach given how many people have read the book and are part of the forums etc which you can see yourself. I think the author had potential but the book is clinical and very narrowed down.
My biggest criticism of this book is that it provides a 4 step ‘technique’ to stop and end panic and anxiety. When in fact, true healing of anxiety doesn’t work through repetition of steps or certain phrases. The part on accepting and allowing was the most crucial part of the book and was only a few pages long. It is the key to recovery. There is no in depth explanation of acceptance. I wondered why I never got better and why this approach increased my confusion and anxiety. I’d say leave it if you can, there aren’t many success stories using this approach given how many people have read the book and are part of the forums etc which you can see yourself. I think the author had potential but the book is clinical and very narrowed down.
September 22, 2025
A little vulnerable review…
As someone who struggles with severe anxiety and panic attacks, this book had me in tears by the end. So many great tools to help that I’ve been using over the last 3 weeks. I enjoyed reading this book at a slower pace so I could practice the things that were taught in the book. It seems cheesy at first, but if you actually do the steps mid anxiety or panic attack, I have been amazed at how much it helps. If you struggle with anxiety or panic attacks, you should read this.
As someone who struggles with severe anxiety and panic attacks, this book had me in tears by the end. So many great tools to help that I’ve been using over the last 3 weeks. I enjoyed reading this book at a slower pace so I could practice the things that were taught in the book. It seems cheesy at first, but if you actually do the steps mid anxiety or panic attack, I have been amazed at how much it helps. If you struggle with anxiety or panic attacks, you should read this.
May 8, 2020
مفید بود.حقیقتا مفید بود ولی متاسفانه اکثر قسمتهاش تکرار حرفهای چند صفحهی قبل بود و خوندنش رو کمی سخت میکرد.
میخواستم این کتاب رو ترجمه کنم که متوجه شدم ترجمهای ازش موجوده.اگر انگلیسی براتون سخته میتونید نسخهی فارسی رو بخونید.
میخواستم این کتاب رو ترجمه کنم که متوجه شدم ترجمهای ازش موجوده.اگر انگلیسی براتون سخته میتونید نسخهی فارسی رو بخونید.
July 31, 2025
A solid book with a potentially helpful approach to dealing with anxiety.
The core idea is that anxiety is fueled not by anxious sensations themselves, but by your reaction to them. The more you fear, resist, and try to control anxiety, the more power it has. The DARE Response teaches you to face anxiety with a radically different mindset—acceptance and confidence, not avoidance and fear.
Here is the D.A.R.E. approach to take whenever you feel anxious:
First, Defuse the “what if” thoughts that you experience with “so what?” responses. The key here is to confidently answer these questions with logic and/or humor so that you neutralize your own fears, placing you back in a position of power. Reassure yourself that whatever you are anxious about is not as big of a deal as you may think.
Second, Accept the anxiety that you feel and Allow it to manifest in whatever way it wishes. Fierce resistance to anxiety can cause it to spiral out of control, but accepting that you have anxious feelings allows them to pass through your body more easily. One strategy I like here is to pretend your anxiety is a small, ridiculous, comical, yet harmless cartoon character. Pretend he’s your imaginary friend, find humor when he shows up, but try not to take him too seriously.
Third, Run Toward your anxiety by telling yourself you feel excited by your anxious thoughts and sensations. The author argues that fear and excitement are different sides of the same coin and that you can reframe your anxious sensations in a positive manner. If you do this, you will ultimately become less intimidated and threatened by your anxious feelings. This matches a clinical psychology concept called “arousal reappraisal.”
Finally, as your anxiety levels start to decline, Engage with an activity that takes up your full attention (e.g. reading, working, talking with a friend). This keeps your mind busy so that you avoid ruminating about whatever made you anxious.
After outlining the basic tenets of the DARE approach, most of the book consists of chapters showing how to apply DARE to different scenarios. While some of the chapters were kind of repetitive, I’m sure anyone with anxiety can find a few examples that are relevant for them personally.
One chapter I found interesting was advice for how to sleep better. Mentally, the author advises telling yourself it’s okay if your sleep is bad for any given night on the basis that active frustration about falling asleep can paradoxically prevent you from falling asleep. Other potential solutions include: (i) Take a warm bath/shower with lavender oil to reduce muscle tension (ii) Take 300mg of magnesium before bed (iii) Set the room temperature to 65-72 degrees (most people’s setups are too warm) (iv) Try reading fiction before bed. Fiction stimulates the right side of your brain, which controls imagination and visualization, helping to turn off the analytical brain, which loves to worry about tomorrow. Fiction can be good for helping you escape your daily thought patterns. (v) Use an eye mask, since people with anxiety tend to be more sensitive to light and sound (vi) Write down your worries before you go to bed. This helps your mind release the mental energy keeping you awake onto paper, reassuring your mind that these issues will be dealt with in the morning.
Some other key insights:
Give Up Thinking You’re Abnormal - a key part of the DARE approach is normalization of anxiety and disassociating your anxious thoughts from who you are as a person. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, about 40 million American adults (1 in 6) suffer from some kind of anxiety disorder at any given time. It is important to avoid feeling shame about your anxiety, because this can make things worse. You can also remind yourself of some of the positive attributes linked with anxiety, like creativity.
Give Up Your Safe Zone - pushing yourself gradually outside your comfort zone into situations that make you anxious can give you more confidence and reduce anxiety moving forward. Write down your successes in a journal to solidify your increased confidence.
Give Up Being So Hard On Yourself - those with anxiety often develop negative self-talk and shame, but should be kinder to themselves, like how they would treat a close friend or family member. The author recommends a strategy of repeating the sentence “I love myself” to change your mindset.
The core idea is that anxiety is fueled not by anxious sensations themselves, but by your reaction to them. The more you fear, resist, and try to control anxiety, the more power it has. The DARE Response teaches you to face anxiety with a radically different mindset—acceptance and confidence, not avoidance and fear.
Here is the D.A.R.E. approach to take whenever you feel anxious:
First, Defuse the “what if” thoughts that you experience with “so what?” responses. The key here is to confidently answer these questions with logic and/or humor so that you neutralize your own fears, placing you back in a position of power. Reassure yourself that whatever you are anxious about is not as big of a deal as you may think.
Second, Accept the anxiety that you feel and Allow it to manifest in whatever way it wishes. Fierce resistance to anxiety can cause it to spiral out of control, but accepting that you have anxious feelings allows them to pass through your body more easily. One strategy I like here is to pretend your anxiety is a small, ridiculous, comical, yet harmless cartoon character. Pretend he’s your imaginary friend, find humor when he shows up, but try not to take him too seriously.
Third, Run Toward your anxiety by telling yourself you feel excited by your anxious thoughts and sensations. The author argues that fear and excitement are different sides of the same coin and that you can reframe your anxious sensations in a positive manner. If you do this, you will ultimately become less intimidated and threatened by your anxious feelings. This matches a clinical psychology concept called “arousal reappraisal.”
Finally, as your anxiety levels start to decline, Engage with an activity that takes up your full attention (e.g. reading, working, talking with a friend). This keeps your mind busy so that you avoid ruminating about whatever made you anxious.
After outlining the basic tenets of the DARE approach, most of the book consists of chapters showing how to apply DARE to different scenarios. While some of the chapters were kind of repetitive, I’m sure anyone with anxiety can find a few examples that are relevant for them personally.
One chapter I found interesting was advice for how to sleep better. Mentally, the author advises telling yourself it’s okay if your sleep is bad for any given night on the basis that active frustration about falling asleep can paradoxically prevent you from falling asleep. Other potential solutions include: (i) Take a warm bath/shower with lavender oil to reduce muscle tension (ii) Take 300mg of magnesium before bed (iii) Set the room temperature to 65-72 degrees (most people’s setups are too warm) (iv) Try reading fiction before bed. Fiction stimulates the right side of your brain, which controls imagination and visualization, helping to turn off the analytical brain, which loves to worry about tomorrow. Fiction can be good for helping you escape your daily thought patterns. (v) Use an eye mask, since people with anxiety tend to be more sensitive to light and sound (vi) Write down your worries before you go to bed. This helps your mind release the mental energy keeping you awake onto paper, reassuring your mind that these issues will be dealt with in the morning.
Some other key insights:
Give Up Thinking You’re Abnormal - a key part of the DARE approach is normalization of anxiety and disassociating your anxious thoughts from who you are as a person. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, about 40 million American adults (1 in 6) suffer from some kind of anxiety disorder at any given time. It is important to avoid feeling shame about your anxiety, because this can make things worse. You can also remind yourself of some of the positive attributes linked with anxiety, like creativity.
Give Up Your Safe Zone - pushing yourself gradually outside your comfort zone into situations that make you anxious can give you more confidence and reduce anxiety moving forward. Write down your successes in a journal to solidify your increased confidence.
Give Up Being So Hard On Yourself - those with anxiety often develop negative self-talk and shame, but should be kinder to themselves, like how they would treat a close friend or family member. The author recommends a strategy of repeating the sentence “I love myself” to change your mindset.
December 10, 2025
I picked up this book because I was struggling with medical anxiety from an emergency room stay in July and was not dealing with it well. I wanted to try something I could read and practice at my own pace before I decided if I needed help from a therapist.
This book’s resources has helped me calm my mind multiple times in situations that may have caused me to spiral further before. It has given me something to hold in the back of my pocket for a go to resource to help pass my anxious moments.
There were moments in this book I felt 100% called out for things I thought only i was experiencing and it was a good wake up call to feel like I wasn’t alone.
About half way through, the book did feel repetitive and I felt like I got point of the method by then, but also the examples got very specific so if it did not apply to you, you could easily skip it.
I would recommend this book for people who wants to try to help themselves handle anxiety on their own, it certainly helped me.
This book’s resources has helped me calm my mind multiple times in situations that may have caused me to spiral further before. It has given me something to hold in the back of my pocket for a go to resource to help pass my anxious moments.
There were moments in this book I felt 100% called out for things I thought only i was experiencing and it was a good wake up call to feel like I wasn’t alone.
About half way through, the book did feel repetitive and I felt like I got point of the method by then, but also the examples got very specific so if it did not apply to you, you could easily skip it.
I would recommend this book for people who wants to try to help themselves handle anxiety on their own, it certainly helped me.
September 27, 2024
Simplistic, practical, and a great mental recentering and self-esteem booster. It really is a fantastic tool to not give into anxiety, sensations, thoughts, or any way you feel it, and to bring back your strength when you feel defeated. I'll probably re read this book a couple times, but this is the first time in awhile where I've felt consistent improvement from anything, and a lot of it is stuff I use to do when I first dealt with anxiety but somewhere along the way I gave up and just let it pummel me. Anyways very helpful.
January 29, 2025
DARE
D- diffuse: “what if?” turns into “so what”
A- acceptance/allowance: “I accept and allow this anxious feeling”
R- run toward: “I’m excited by this feeling”
E- engage: occupy yourself with anything that takes up your full attention
“What we resist persists and what we accept we can transform”
D- diffuse: “what if?” turns into “so what”
A- acceptance/allowance: “I accept and allow this anxious feeling”
R- run toward: “I’m excited by this feeling”
E- engage: occupy yourself with anything that takes up your full attention
“What we resist persists and what we accept we can transform”
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 20, 2025
Short and effective. Too dismissive of the benefits of medication.
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