Every Moment of a Fall: A Memoir of Recovery Through EMDR Therapy

by Carol E. Miller

Carol E. Miller was sixteen when the private plane piloted by her father crashed, pinning her in the wreckage, critically injuring her parents and killing her twelve-year-old sister. Compounding this traumatic event, her father told her he wished she had died instead of her sister. For the next twenty years, she labored under feelings of guilt and lack of self-worth. When another in a long line of personal crises landed her in therapy with an EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) practitioner, she began at last to investigate the crippling effects of the plane crash. Using bi-lateral stimulation to access her fiercely guarded memories, she learned to challenge the belief that the crash was all her fault, and that she didn't deserve to be alive.

 

This is a brave and revealing memoir of recovery from tragedy, and a fascinating, vividly narrated exploration of the increasingly popular eye-movement therapy developed to heal the wounds trauma leaves in its wake.

Genres: Memoir, Audiobook, Psychology, Mental Health, Self Help

264 pages, Hardcover

Published May 13, 2016

Reviews

[Patricia Geller · Rating 5 out of 5]

As an EMDR therapist, this book is a compelling read and offers the overview of EMDR for both single incident trauma and long term trauma. Read it one setting. Highly recommend for both general readers and great for anyone anxious about trying EMDR.

[Rachael Haley · Rating 2 out of 5]

I listened to the audiobook just found the whole thing quite dull. I think that the narrator had a lot to do with it.

[Ruta Alb · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the first time I have heard about EMDR (eye movement and desensitization and reprocessing) therapy. As the book is a memoir - this makes it so much more intersting.
The story quite quickly goes through half of the story teller's life. This first half of the book gives a lot of insights into protagonist's behaviors and thoughts.
Later on in the book listening into dialogue between the story teller and her therapist made me feel like I am listening to someone's diary - somewhat uncomfortable but also too interesting to stop.
Still, I felt more like listening to a piece of fiction rather than a memoir. Life's hard - that's the cliche repeated by many. But does it really have to be as cruel as this to some of us?
It's worth listening (or reading) to this book to learn how therapy works and what results over what time period it may bring. The funny part is - I could clearly see what a hell is wrong around the protagonist of the book, and how people treat her in unfair ways. I knew a million ways I could advise her to do in order to live a better life. But if all of that happened to me.. I am sure, I would not have seen everything quite so simple.
Three words about the book
Life is hard

[Sharon · Rating 2 out of 5]

Carol Miller was 16 when the private plane piloted by her father crashed, killing her sister, and pinning her in the wreckage. She lived with survivor guilt for 20 years before receiving therapy through EMDR, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. Through this therapy, she was gradually able to move forward with her life. Using something called bi-lateral stimulation to access her deep memories, she learned to challenge the belief that the wreck was her fault.
Having been told by her father that she should have died and her younger sister should have survived, she was left with devastating mental issues. Until she got into therapy, the reader is subjected to her sexual adventures and misadventures, apparently all as a result of her repressed memories.
I received a copy of this book from Schaffner Press, in exchange for an honest review.

[Lauren · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a random audiobook I listened to bc it was free, and bc I read The Valedictorian of Being Dead a couple of months ago, which introduced me to EMDR substantively for the first time. It turned out to be a great find. The author undergoes an extreme childhood trauma and takes us through her use of EMDR to heal from it. Miller is personable and vulnerable throughout the memoir, writing in a way that is completely transparent. I was impressed with her storytelling as much as with her descriptions of what EMDR therapy is like.

You don't have to have gone through an extreme childhood trauma for this book to be relevant and meaningful. I would recommend it esp to folks interested in mental health issues.

[Szkeller · Rating 5 out of 5]

Miller's story is a heartbreak and a break through. Her descriptions of the EMDR therapy sessions are riveting and offer others who have suffered trauma of any kind a possible path out. The interweaving of the flashbacks of the airplane crash with current day therapy was masterful. She reveals family trauma, prior to the crash, with a straightforward tone, softened and deepened by her poetic grasp of language and timing. It is a brave and wrenching story in which I was rooting for her from page 1. Should be required reading in every college psych course. Beautiful.

[Santos · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was fantastic. I am pro therapy so I was intrigued by this book the moment I read the synopsis.

It was fascinating to “watch” the author as she made connections between past childhood traumas and difficulties she was encountering in her life presently.

The act of unraveling the traumas and all of the childhood assumptions that she had built her own self image upon, was truly interesting. You sensed her gaining clarity and freedom as she slowly unfurled things.

Highly recommend this book.

[alexicon · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an exceptional read. I have been struggling to connect with material for the last month or two, but this book felt as easy as breathing. The writing was descriptive and precise, honest in the most wonderful, uncomfortable way, and curved a beautiful arc of growth and discovery. Her revelations made me feel the urge to shout in triumph alongside her as she navigated the fog of guilt, trauma, and abuse. Extremely grateful to have been recommended her work, and I intend to leave my copy in my local little library in the hopes I might spread her work along.

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Okay. Book did give me a bit insight into EMDR but not the technical aspect of it. Book more of history of ladies trauma that she endured from narcissist father who also sexually abuse her sister. Abuse/trauma (of plane crash - which by the way father lied about) lead to her blaming herself for everything. EMDR helped her expel some of the myths she had allowing her to get out of a crappy relationship and move forward.

[Kira Thurston · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a cool look at the beginning of EMDR treatment from a client view. Very much trigger warning for trauma !!! Read at your own risk !!!

And to my knowledge this is not exactly how EMDR is performed now….. but it is such a good story about how this therapy changed their life. I really appreciate her taking us through the way she visualized the reprocessing phases of EMDR. It’s so different for each client but hers was so raw, imaginative, and moving.

[Audra Larsen · Rating 3 out of 5]

A bit repetitive, but that's a given due to the nature of a therapy memoir. She describes the same event a couple of times with differing perspectives from her different stages of therapy. Great writing, I just struggled through the end because it was repetitive.

[Isabella Swanepoel · Rating 4 out of 5]

A story about people who children is supposed to trust and love can let them down for their own pleasure and to blame.
Story well written with a happy ending.
Narration was a bit slow.

[Nima Morgan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very successful account on the use of EMDR in a very extremely traumatic situation.

[Anne Earney · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read in two sittings. An interesting account of trauma and EMDR, which the author goes through on two separate occasions.

[Hilary Cockshaw · Rating 2 out of 5]

Audiobook

[Alexander Ninnim · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent read for anyone interested in processing Trauma and EMDR.

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5
Loved the descriptions of the authors experience with emdr.
Helpful to read the questions/activating prompts the therapist gave

[Luci Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am so grateful for this book about loss of self, being invisible, and finding one’s self through EMDR.
I have a severely "deformed" background; I prefer to say deformed rather than dysfunctional; because I believe dysfunctional implies that it can be fixed to become functional, and that is not the case.
I'm having trouble putting into words what I want to say about this book. I sent it to a friend and she read it and now wants to get copies for her friends. Reading the book has helped me to get a more focused perspective on my own life and the reasons I did some of the things I did over the years, looking for the fix for it all. I think it was very brave of Carol to share her story this way. I suppose it was probably a cathartic experience; I know reading it was certainly a cathartic experience for me. I cried and cried, and that’s not a bad thing; I needed it. The book helped me see so much about my own situation. It gave me permission and courage to go ahead and be myself.
My father was a serial child molester, beginning with his own children. During the same era he was beating me for being seen wearing shorts or talking on the phone longer than five minutes, he was having sex with his children, mistreating his wife, cheating on his wife, being rude and inconsiderate to her in front of other people, flirting with other women, and the list of transgressions goes on and on. My part in it was to be formed into a person who was fiercely loyal to two people who were narcissistic and selfish, and who used their own children. We were pushed aside, but we presented a picture to the world of the perfect Christian family. We went to a Pentecostal church; my birth father was a deacon and a Sunday school teacher of young boys. We had a string of cousins coming through who were from “broken homes” and stayed with us from time-to-time. Gene, the man who “spermed” me, and who I refuse to call my father, molested as many of these children as he could, and those who resisted quickly became a target of his anger. I was one who became adept at avoiding being alone with him, so I was a recipient of his anger, but I didn't see all this before EMDR. I did everything I could to stay out of his way. He was not nice. Yet, in my mind, he was my handsome father who smelled yummy like Avon cologne or the sawmill, who dressed nice for church and went off to work every day; a Christian man who loved me and his family. I had an entirely different paradigm then. I saw the world through the eyes that my mother wanted me to see the world through. I tried to be invisible, although I don’t recall consciously thinking “Be invisible.” It’s just what I did to avoid being abused. I began to have severe stomach aches, unstoppable nosebleeds, fainting spells and more; they increased if I felt I might have to be alone with him. Nobody said, “I love you” or tucked me into bed at night. But they took me to church and let me taught about Jesus and all the commandments!
My entire story is too long to tell here, but suffice it so say that when I met Andy, my EMDR therapist, my life finally began to come into focus. EMDR therapy helped me to see that I was not a terrible person. I began to form a realistic picture of the way I was raised; believe me, that was traumatic experience, like seeing the Mona Lisa turn into Scream in front of my eyes; worse even.
When I read Carol’s book, I realized how much the way I was raised had affected who I was, and I realized I could be different. I realized I had a right to pursue joy and contentment in my life. I loved this book because it opened the door to REALLY seeing reality about my life. EMDR changed my life.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is easily one of the most engrossing, moving stories I have ever read. I experienced this memoir in two ways. Let me explain....

Therapist me: One of the greatest privileges of being a therapist is being able to watch another individual heal, become stronger, actualize, and unfold. The author gives the reader an invaluable gift. She is amazingly mindful and connected to her process. She demystifies EMDR and, through her experience, demonstrates how it works. I love my profession, and I feel enormous gratitude when an individual can so articulately explain its merits and method.

Trauma-survivor me: I am grateful for the author's vulnerability. Her story helped to heal some of the unhealed leftovers within myself. Her authenticity was ever-present. Her feelings of anger, sadness, worthlessness, guilt, etc. were palpable and resonated deeply within me.

I sincerely hope she releases a collection of her poetry.

[Sondra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every Moment of a Fall: A Memoir of Recovery Through EMDR Therapy

I read Miller's book in two sittings. It's a deftly constructed combination of a personal story with a first-hand account of EMDR. She avoids sensationalizing her story as a plane crash survivor and instead give us a window into the psychological and emotional debris it scattered across many years of her life. Thank God for EMDR - it allowed Miller to heal from trauma and write this effective and engrossing memoir.

[Gloria · Rating 4 out of 5]

Every Moment of a Fall is a well written memoir that interweaves using EMDR therapy to recover from traumatic life incidents.

The book read like a good mystery novel with a bit more painful winces due to the fact that it's a true story.

Sometimes there are happy endings and in this case it was very reassuring to read how things finally evolve. A good read for anyone but especially folks with traumatic histories who are considering using EMDR for their recovery.

[Nancy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I won this in a Goodreads giveaway.
A good memoir that describes very well the ability of EMDR to help people work through the traumatic experiences from the past.