Breaking Away: A Harrowing True Story of Resilience, Courage, and Triumph

by Patrick O'Sullivan

In the tradition of Playing with Fire and The Crazy Game comes a new memoir about a troubled hockey life.

Patrick O'Sullivan was a kid with skills, with natural gifts that catapulted him into the spotlight and made NHL scouts rave. O’Sullivan seemed destined to become one of the next great hockey players in the world. But then it all went horribly wrong.

In Breaking Away, Patrick O’Sullivan gives readers a disturbing account of ten years of ever escalating physical abuse and emotional cruelty at the hands of his father. When Patrick proved more skilled than other eight-year-olds, John O’Sullivan decided to dedicate his life to turning his son into the player he had always dreamed of becoming. Shouting at the top of his lungs, John O’Sullivan was the over-involved parent. Many of Patrick’s teammates and their parents and coaches thought it ended there. Few had an idea of the dysfunction and violence at the O’Sullivans' home.

Breaking Away is a story about abuse, but it is also a story about triumph, as O'Sullivan revisits the ghosts of his past.

Genres: Hockey, Nonfiction, Sports, Memoir, Biography, Mental Health

320 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 20, 2015

About the author

Librarian Note: There is more than one author by this name in the Goodreads data base.

Reviews

[Smdoron77 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Giving a book 5 stars means you loved it. I didn't love this. It was really hard to read. I was drawn to the book after hearing an interview with Patrick O'Sullivan on the radio. I was not expecting the level of horror I felt reading through his childhood. It was harrowing. I can only say that I am impressed with his resiliency and courage to have come through it, and by sharing his story, possibly prevent any other child the same journey. We've all been exposed to parents that are a little too intense and vocal, but would we step in if the signs were there that it went beyond that? I couldn't put this book down until I knew that he got through on the other end. I wish him nothing but good luck in the future.

[Derek Harmsworth · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Breaking Away", by former NHL player Patrick O'Sullivan is not an easy read. But it is, without question, a vitally important story that must be told.

Chronicling the systematic abuse suffered at the hands of his father, and the inability or unwillingness to act by those around him, O'Sullivan lays out in torturous details a childhood stolen and an adulthood deeply affected by the PTSD-induced trauma he suffered during those formative years.

At the beginning of the book, and as I weaved my way throughout the pages, I wondered what type of hockey career O'Sullivan may have had if his personal life wasn't so affected. I felt bad that, among many things, his career was so deeply derailed at the hands of his father. I also felt bad that his personal life would be forever stunted by his terrible experiences.

But then, as I finished the book, it dawned on me that even though what happened to O'Sullivan was still incredibly sad and completely unnecessary and avoidable, it is actually a success story in a lot of ways.

Patrick O'Sullivan had a professional hockey career, and became a normal functioning husband and father, in spite of the terrible things he went through. He refused to let them define him, and the result is a story of perseverance and success, even if the road to get there was painful and unnecessarily arduous for him.

This book should be required reading. For parents. For children. For athletes. For everyone, really. The details surrounding the sadistic events he had to endure aren't ever easy to listen to. And the way in which literally hundreds of people could have-and should have-spoken out but chose not to will break your heart again and again.

But through it all, a defiant O'Sullivan proves you can rise above hardships, even the most difficult and cruel. He also sets out to tell his story not because he wants to, but because he wants no one else to have to suffer a similar fate.

He's reliving the most difficult, painful moments of his life for the most selfless of reasons.

We owe it to the brave author to listen.

[Marci Laevens · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ugh....so sad and so hard to fathom.

[Cat · Rating 4 out of 5]

I knew going into this that it wasn't going to be a happy story. Nearly all hockey fans know the basics of Patrick O'Sullivan's story. That said, this was even bleaker than I had anticipated. O'Sullivan goes into great detail about his childhood (or lack thereof), about the abuse he endured at the hands of his overbearing father. My hope, and it seems to be his as well, is that this book will serve as a cautionary tale to parents of children who have a passion.

[Jeremy Silver · Rating 3 out of 5]

I remember when Sully played with the Kings hearing that he had an abusive father but I had no idea the extents that it went to. With that said however, the books reads like a son that is extremely bitter, but rather than taking control of his life he sets out to blame everyone that was ever around him. His dad for obvious reasons, his mom, friends, and coaches for not doing something about it.

[Lori · Rating 2 out of 5]

Yes, the book talks about the horrific abuse that Patrick O'Sullivan suffers at the hands of his father. And yes, it shines an important light on PTSD. However, I just never connected with him. The writing was a little disjointed and sometimes felt repetitive. I do wish him well and hope he found some peace and healing in his writing process.

[Ambrosia · Rating 5 out of 5]

It feels wrong to give a book 5 Stars when is breaks your heart. Honestly, Patrick is an inspiration and an incredible survivor - to go through everything that he went through and have the internal fortitude to become the amazing child safety advocate that he is today. He’s a hero.

[Mark Farthing · Rating 5 out of 5]

Should be required reading for parents of elite level sports. Coaches and athletes as well.

[Cc · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a tough book to read in the sense of sheer rawness it leaves the reader feeling. The reader has to encounter each sickening account of cruelty and try to accept they were doled out by the one person who possessed complete control over every aspect of O'Sullivan's young life.
To hope an abuser will read this book is too much to hope for, in my opinion. The biggest value in the telling of this story is the possibility that we all feel uncomfortable. That we feel, in fact, uncomfortable enough to look twice at the parents we witness berating and demeaning their children. That we ask ourselves, "if this parent thinks it's ok to treat their children this way in public, just what happens behind closed doors?..." A child shouldn't have to shoulder the burden of reporting their own parent. Ever.

[David · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretty great read. Horrible, but great. It's the car crash you can't look away from, you know?

The subject matter was tough, but extremely interesting. It isn't a long book really and Patrick's crazy life over the first half of the book was an easy page turner. After that point it settled into a bit of a career retrospective. That was decent and the Marc Crawford stuff was really interesting, but it just didn't have the anxiety it did earlier. How could it? Then it picked up steam again when his career was over and he sought out some of the coaches from his past for their thoughts on his father and what they knew of his situation in those early years. Very interesting stuff.

It's a miracle that Patrick is as "normal" as he is considering what his parents put him through. Hopefully his story can help others.

[Tom · Rating 3 out of 5]

The first half of the book is gripping. And the impact of the abuse left a big toll on his relationships with his whole family.

But I felt the last half I felt was a bit of a letdown. He glosses over his NHL career. I'd be interested in knowing more details there. Did he have trouble fitting in? Did anyone ever say anything to him? Did opponents ever say anything?

There were also some style things that bugged me, such as repeating sentences a new paragraphs apart.

But overall, a solid read.

[Kate · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was very frustrating to see how many adults, and teammates (particularly an assistant coach who by day was a social worker!) ignored the obvious signs of abuse. Every adult in life failed this child, including his mother.

[Melinda Loomis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Harrowing is right. There are awful parents pushing their kids beyond reason in order to realize their own unattained dreams, and then there's John O'Sullivan. Breaking Away is the memoir of former NHL player Patrick O'Sullivan, whose father bullied him into being the successful hockey player O'Sullivan Sr. never was. And bullied in every sense of the word, physically, mentally and emotionally. John O'Sullivan beat the crap out of his son and terrorized him for years in his single minded pursuit of on-ice stardom, until Patrick finally took his final beating and walked away not only from his dad, but eventually from his entire, enabling family.

O'Sullivan's dad being a problem child is old news to the hockey world, but I don't think many realized just how bad it was until this book came out recently. John's actions were abuse, plain and simple, and it's mind-boggling to me that Patrick - even as a young child - was subjected to this treatment and no one, not even family members, ever stepped up in his defense.

Once he realized that his son possessed a significant amount of athletic ability, John became obsessed with engineering Patrick into an NHL player. He saw himself as a Walter Gretzky-type, only without any sense or concern of what he was doing to his son and by extension, his whole family. His "training regime" for Patrick included waking him up in the middle of the night to work out, kicking him out of the van on the way home after a game to make him run, and overfeeding him in an effort to get him to grow to an NHL-caliber size, and that's just barely scratching the surface.

One thing that really shocked me was the abuse he took from then-head coach Marc Crawford during his time with the Los Angeles Kings. Crawford seems to have singled O'Sullivan out as his whipping boy for reasons that only he knew. I can't help wondering why General Manager Dean Lombardi - known for his high regard of his players - didn't step in, especially since everyone knew O'Sullivan's history.

O'Sullivan isn't sure if a contract dispute affected his standing with the Kings front office, but the fact was that shortly after the deal was signed and Crawford was canned, Lombardi shipped him to the Edmonton Oilers in a three-way deal that brought the Kings Justin Williams from the Carolina Hurricanes. Williams would eventually be a big piece of the Kings teams that won the Stanley Cup in 2012 and 2014, but O'Sullivan wonders - as do I - if Lombardi could have and would have gotten Williams for a different player or players, if it weren't for the contract dispute. It might have been interesting to see what he could have done in L.A. long term.

Being traded was only part the problem. It was who he was traded to. Edmonton, for the past ten years or so, is where hockey careers go to die. As an organization, the Oilers just don't seem to be able to get their shit together, and it was the beginning of the end of O'Sullivan's NHL career. O'Sullivan reveals a couple issues he had with the team that help explain the Oilers woes. The team promptly used him in roles he had never played in his entire hockey career (third line, five-on-three penalty kill); he says he was tempted to ask them if they'd confused him with another player. Then they started making him a healthy scratch. To add insult to injury, Edmonton's arena, Rexall Place, is the only one in the league that doesn't provide private elevators for the scratches to ride up to the press box. They had to walk through the concourse, in full view of fans. Edmonton is getting a new arena, hopefully they remedied this situation, but that's indicative of the type of organization O'Sullivan found himself at the mercy of.

Another shock came when O'Sullivan and his fiancee decided to go over his finances, which were soon to become their finances. He was shocked to discover that over a period less than four NHL seasons, he had given his mother, who had finally divorced his father, $400,000 and yet she didn't seem inclined to do much with her life, nor did she seem to care that her two daughters, both younger than Patrick, seemed equally uninspired. After letting his mom know that the gravy train was coming to a halt (he was more tactful about it) she suddenly stopped taking his calls or communicating with him at all. He figured it would work out, but then wedding invitations and Christmas gifts sent to his mother and sisters were returned unopened. He hasn't had any contact with them since.

The only negative criticism I can offer is that there are several instances of dropped words in the text. Not sure how these weren't caught during editing, but they were numerous enough to be noticeable.

That O'Sullivan has managed to attain peace and a normal family life of his own is remarkable, but it seems like some scars remain. In the caption of a photo of O'Sullivan helping his young son hold a golf club, he says of his kids, "If they choose to play sports, I hope it's something other than hockey." That would apparently just hit a little too close to home, and that left me with a twinge of sadness despite his triumphing over the hellish life his monstrous father subjected him to.

[Patricia McAlexander · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recently saw my first hockey game and found it thrilling; then someone recommended I read Breaking Away. This true story of a crazy father’s abuse of his young son to make him into a tough NHL hockey player was indeed harrowing, as the book’s blurb says—but the word does not even convey how horrible the years of abuse were (making him run after the father’s car in the snow after a game, waking him up to do pushups in the middle of the night, being regularly beaten, socially isolated, and much more—an unimaginable nightmare). How could the child even have survived physically? He must have been a very talented hockey player—people seem agreed without the abuse, supposedly to toughen him, he would have been even better and could have had a longer NHL career. And then the psychological damage! Abusers often grow up to be abusers, but Patrick, who escaped from his father at age 16 after 10 years of this, has PTSD to be sure, but he is now a force for good, writing and speaking to stop “over-involved” parents’ abuse of young athletes. And he has a beautiful family, is a good husband and father—almost a miracle. I heard him speak on a podcast; he speaks well, with little or no bad language (like his hosts), stays on point, is obviously very intelligent. I’m sure readers cringe as they read of his experiences and breathe a sigh of relief to learn of his situation now, but for me, his story still leaves scars. And that is probably good.

[Steve Hooft · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hockey can be such a toxic environment, it may be slightly better than it has been in the past, I still see over eager parents trying to live vicariously through their children. I have a son in hockey, and I preach to him daily how this is a game and it should be fun especially at the age of 10, however we don’t treat our children like children Do we. What John O’Sullivan did as capable of doing to his son is disgusting and breaks my heart, no child should be conditioned to this. A line that stood out, my father thinks I made the NhL because of him, however I made it in spite of him. Also the last four chapter discussed how this abuse could go on for so long without being reported, and everyone said the same thing, we thought about it…. Don’t think about it, if you witness or you think something is going on, act a child might depend on it.

[Cady Garza · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can’t say that I enjoyed reading this book. It was difficult and broke my heart every second. O’Sullivan’s story is gut wrenching. Reading about what he went through as a child and teenager hurt my heart. I can only say that it is incredible how O’Sullivan was able to reckon with his upbringing and live a better life with his wife and sons. This is such an important story. For this being his first book, O’Sullivan did an incredible job balancing his thoughts with his experience.

However, this book deserved a better editor. I know that not every book can be void of editing mistakes, but with another pass this book wouldn’t have the errors that took me out of the narrative.

[Mike · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a must read for coaches and parents involved in youth sports. This centers around hockey, but is applicable to all sports and competitive activities. This is a call to look for signs of abuse and understand where the line is. Ultimately, the parents/coaches need to protect our youth. This is a great reminder for parents to gauge their motivations when involving their kids in sports and pushing them to accel. O'Sullivan calls on parents to remember to show love, support, and help make the experience a positive one for our kids. This should be a must read for all coaches/parents in youth sports.

[Dom Hung · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very chilling and compelling read! The ultimate cautionary tale in all sports that reminds you to never just be a spectator when you see or think abuse is happening

While Patrick O’Sullivan “survived” his crazy father and disconnected mother, he must live his life with PTSD that he works on everyday

Even in later chapters where he goes back to see those from his past, it gave many examples of inactions and overlooking of situation! May his story help others share theirs soon before great tragedy occurs

[Samantha Ann Opperman · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked this book up because I have been a Kings fan for many years and have met Patrick O’Sullivan when he still played for L.A. I wanted to know more about what he went through and how he survived. I very much enjoyed the way the story was broken up and how he didn’t spend a lot of time explaining hockey (assuming his readers already knew). With that being said, it was a little repetitive and there were quite a few typo errors in the text. I enjoyed the read, but wasn’t wowed by the story delivery.

[Jan Tisdale · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author, Patrick, made NHL but than it all went wrong. He tells his story of 10 yrs of abuse and emotion from his dad, starting at age 8, as his dad had to turn his son into a player he always wanted to be. Coaches, players had no idea how bad things got when he left the ice to go home.

“ not only was he physically and mentally abused by his dad, his mom never helped him and turned her back on him when he quit giving her $ when he was rich from the NHL.

[Jennifer Radke · Rating 5 out of 5]

This should be required reading for any parent that registers their child for hockey. Actually, any sport for that matter. It should be a wake-up call to any adult that interacts with a child and notices something is not as it should be. Stand up for a child who can’t do it for themselves. The last line of the book has stuck with me, “If I see a kid in trouble, it won’t be left to that kid to call 911 in the middle of the night.”

[Gerald Hack · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book! How Patrick O'Sullivan survived his upbringing is nothing short of miraculous. Even though the subject matter is very dark for the most part, I found it particularly interesting. There were many "Holy S*** moments. I wish Patrick nothing but the best going forward and I say to any hockey or sports parent, "you need to read this book!"

[Kaela Kohnke · Rating 4 out of 5]

Finally finished this! Patrick's strength throughout his whole life is commendable! Overall, this was a tough read for me for multiple reasons. But the main one is that it felt very long winded; which is necessary to explain the true horrors that Patrick dealt with, but I found myself putting it down for a couple days before I picked it back up. Very good book if you are into memoirs though!

[Nick Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great dark book about how a kid that just wanted to play hockey. Had it ruined by his dad that wanted to live through his son. While trying to live through him, he abused him for a decade. Not an uplifting hockey biography, but still pretty good.

[James · Rating 2 out of 5]

A heartbreak story about a player who makes it to his dream of playing in the nhl. His father was a true scum bag who pushes his hopes and dreams continue son. The book ends in a sour note, lots of blame to go around from his mother, coaches and team mates.

[Jessica Lubbers · Rating 3 out of 5]

It felt a bit anticlimactic once he reached the point in his life when he made the pros. The book felt finished at that point but I expected to find out so much more of what happened during his NHL years. I felt a lot was left untold. I expected more of a story there

[Tricia Conroy · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5/5 Indeed "a harrowing true story..." of a victim of an abusive father. Patrick says "telling my story will have been worthwhile" YES; "if just one boy or girl is spared harm". Sad details in book A must read for coaches and parents!

[Costa Voutsinas · Rating 3 out of 5]

Difficult to read at times; his father was and continues to be a loon. He certainly has a ton of bitterness for the mom as well.

[Cody Black · Rating 4 out of 5]

Powerful message

[Mike Massel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was amazing!!! Such a sad story but should be a must read for anyone thinking of putting their kids into sports.