The Science of Attraction: Flirting, Sex, and How to Engineer Love

by Patrick King

Do you want psychologically proven ways to attract the opposite sex, flirt better, and create chemistry? To take advantage of how we’re biologically wired to engineer love?
How can you use The Science of Attraction to cut through the games to date and love better?

Everyone has an opinion on attraction, dating, and relationships – but their opinions are usually based on a sample size of one, themselves. Utilizing studies both new and classic helps us reach a deeper understanding of ourselves and others.

Why we like who we like, and what to do about it.
The Science of Attraction is part textbook, with peer-received research, and part advice manual, with thorough analysis and takeaways to create better relationships.

If you want to understand people better, from first dates to close friends, this book has the scientific insight to reach epiphanies.

What about attraction will you learn?
• Chapter 1. The four-step sequence to flirting, sex, and love.
• Chapter 2. How to create electric touch.
• Chapter 4. The sexiness of unavailability.
• Chapter 5. Five modes of effective flirting.

Interested in more?
• Chapter 10. Freud’s saving grace.
• Chapter 12. “Let’s just be friends.”
• Chapter 14. What’s kink got do with it?
• Chapter 15. The ugly truth of beauty.

Attraction isn’t just about romance and dating – it’s how you relate to everyone in your life. Learning The Science of Attraction opens your eyes to how people think and if you know how someone thinks… you’re in. Of course, this knowledge will help you read and understand the object of your affection, whether married or still hunting/dating, to create more positivity and occasionally make you a mind reader. It’s powerful knowledge to have and internalize.

Don’t hesitate to pick up your copy today by clicking the BUY NOW button at the top of this page!
P.S. Attraction is a universal quality, so improve your charisma quotient with more of it.

Genres: Nonfiction, Relationships, Psychology, Self Help, Love

95 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 18, 2015

About the author

Patrick King is a Social Interaction Specialist, in other words, a dating, online dating, image, and communication and social skills coach based in San Francisco, California, and has been featured on numerous national publications such as Inc.com. He’s also a #1 Amazon best-selling dating and relationships author with the most popular online dating book on the market, and writes frequently on dating, love, sex, and relationships.

He focuses on using his emotional intelligence and understanding of human interaction to break down emotional barriers, instill confidence, and equip people with the tools they need for success. No pickup artistry and no gimmicks, simply a thorough mastery of human psychology delivered with a dose of real talk, perfected and honed through three years of law school.

Reviews

[Benjamin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has a good mix of ideas that I've heard from other sources, so it's a good reminder of a lot of concepts and theories for interpersonal relationship. It's good for a reminder of all the ideas out there but doesn't go into as much depth of do as much troubleshooting with any particular problems people might have with love/dating/relationships.

[Dominika · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is very very obvious that this book was written by a man - it is basically a guide on how to get women with bits of science and, of course, men's favourite "biology and evoluktionary theory" a.k.a a bit of sexism sprinkled in, and occasional reference to "person" where the author caught himself on his own perspective and tried to make it seem like he was talking to women, too. It's also heavily geterocentric, but since the whole science part of the book is based on evolutionary theories, that's not too surprising. The science is good and, to agree with other reviews, well researched, but I lacked the inclusion of social and more modern theories and a little criticism of the "science" put in front of the read as if the findings of a study were gospel. Also, the chapters did not seem very connected, each making its own point with no regard to what was said in another - in the chapter on arranged marriages, for example, the author clearly stated their benefits (ignoring the other side of the coin, of course) and in the next, still focused on the perspective of love marriages as if the previous chapter didn't happen. Finally, the book has some awesome tips peppered throughout, such as "play hard to get but not so much the other person thinks you don't like them" and my personal favourite "tease when flirting, but it's never a good idea to make fun of a woman's interestes" (not direct quotes, but this is essentially what was meant). I guess it's better that these things are there, because apparently men do need them. However, the author either needs to market his book to a more specific audience, or realise that most readers of these kind of self-help books are women, and they will get very little benefit from this book.

[Harsh Tyagi · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Science of Attraction is a clear and engaging look into the psychology behind human connection, especially in the context of flirting and dating. Patrick King manages to break down complex behavioural and evolutionary principles into practical advice, without sounding clinical or gimmicky. That balance is hard to find in books on this subject, and it's something I appreciated.

The author offers a structured exploration of how attraction works beneath the surface, using psychology not as a weapon but as a lens. The tone stays respectful and focused on genuine connection, which makes it feel less like a guide to "winning" someone and more like an effort to understand them better. The sections on first impressions and nonverbal cues stood out in particular and I found them thoughtful and refreshingly grounded.

At times, though, the book leans a bit heavily on generalised statements. While the actionable advice is helpful, I occasionally wanted more nuance or acknowledgement that human attraction isn't always as predictable as the book suggests. Still, it never slips into pseudoscience or manipulation, which is a relief.

This isn’t a magic formula, and Patrick King doesn’t pretend it is. What the book offers is insight: why we’re drawn to certain people, how chemistry can be fostered, and how awareness of our behaviours can actually bring more authenticity to our dating lives. It made me think more critically, and kindly, about how we approach relationships. It's a short read, worth a try!

[Scout Collins · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was interesting in ways I didn't expect, and contained things I already knew in areas I thought I would learn something new. It gets 5 stars for readability (easy for the average reader to understand and wasn't boring at all), 3.75 stars for content.

I'm sensing a theme that Patrick King's books are excellent if you have no little to no background in psychology or in whatever the area the book is about. He explains basic important concepts (e.g. attachment theory, love languages) while mixing in some more niche topics like love vs. arranged marriages & some insight into cheating.

THINGS I LEARNED THAT WERE NEW
Engineering Chemistry/Love
The author included some interesting research on love vs. arranged marriages. I was surprised at how successful some arranged marriages are, largely due to the differing cultural attitudes towards marriage and your partner, as well as the basis for the marriage (e.g. talking about serious issues like raising kids, finances etc. on first meeting to quickly figure out long-term compatibility). He also talked about love scales (137) which was new for me. I don't want to spoil the whole chapter (read it!), but this was one of the best ones in the book.
This section would get 4.5-5 stars.

"The Chase"
While this chapter was at least 60% old news to me, it confirmed with research some theories I already had but wasn't sure if it was a fully universal thing. In short: unpredictable uncertainty creates attraction.

Other
There was a bit written about similar vs. dissimilar couples. The message from this book was that similar couples succeed more than opposite couples. I think the author should read Harville Hendrix to understand why opposites consistently attract in couples (both married & not). In terms of differences, the examples given were on the more extreme side. However, I do agree you need to share values or you are more likely to fail as a couple.

The Cheating chapter was interesting too.

The Opposite Sex (Male/Female) Friendships chapter was interesting as well. There's a lot more attraction between male-female friends than people may be aware of. (I already knew a lot of guys are attracted to their female friends, but this chapter shared some new info too).

THINGS I ALREADY KNEW/NOT GREAT SECTIONS
Flirting
This section didn't really offer anything new for me. The author talked about the 5 types of flirting, which I'd already read about online. Realistically, I'd say people often do a mix of the types, so this chapter wasn't super enlightening and I don't remember learning anything new. If you are a complete novice/bad at flirting, you may learn something and find the info helpful.

Love Languages
The Love Languages chapter was mediocre in terms of describing each love language. It wasn't even particularly accurate - it was kind of a sloppy summary.
E.g.,- for Words of Affirmation, the examples of this love language included saying "Good job", "You can do it" or "I love you" (117). Maybe my standards are above the bare minimum, but... really? Words of affirmation are supposed to be deeper than that. ESPECIALLY if you are a long-term couple... after years, saying "I love you" isn't such a big deal compared to the beginning.

Secondly, wtf was this paragraph: "Their [People who like words of affirmation's] own lack of strength or courage could be due to a past traumatic experience or limiting belief. Whatever it is, they lack that fire in their belly that allows them to step up to a challenge, look at it straight in the eye, and take care of business." (117)
>I don't even know how to respond to this.. how can you assume any of the claims you made in this paragraph? Just because you like positive words, it doesn't mean you are not courageous, strong, unable to take on challenges or take care of business. Yes, some people who are traumatized or have lower self-esteem may like kind words, but that doesn't mean you have to be traumatized or have limiting beliefs to like them. There are lots of traumatized people who don't like or trust words of affirmation too. I did not appreciate this statement at all. It seemed like the author was biased towards certain love languages over others.

For physical touch: "A simple hug and kiss can replace gifts and says 'I love you' to people with this love language" (125).
I'd consider physical touch one of my favourite love languages in a romantic relationship and I would not agree with his statement at all. A hug and a kiss? Unless someone is traumatized or hates touching, a hug and a kiss are NORMAL WAYS OF SHOWING AFFECTION that you should share if you're a couple who sees each other in person. That's like saying "I love you" replaces gifts, like spending 10 minutes of quality time replaces a gift, or that cleaning up after a meal replaces gifts. At least compare things of approximately equal value (e.g. writing a thoughtful card/letter instead of a gift, cleaning the house instead of a gift, or spending a day of quality time together). Hugging and sharing a kiss are, again, the bare minimum for people who like physical touch, unless you're a particularly un-touchy couple.

I'd give this section 2/5.

Weirdness
"Humans are just mammals shooting DNA at each other. But the DNA's delivery isn't anywhere near guaranteed. Sometimes the source of the DNA is killed and eaten by a sabre-tooth tiger, and sometimes it dies of dysentery. Oh, and there's still that pesky need for the vessel of that DNA to eat, drink and sleep every day. We're so fragile!" (12)
> Lol, could this have been explained in a more unclear way? 😂

In conclusion, I would recommend this book to certain people. I would recommend based on how much you know about the subjects covered in the book.
Knowledge on these subjects
0<------------->10
yes yes no

If you are an expert, you may not learn much from this. I'd say my familiarity/knowledge with these subjects is around 8/10, so I still found the book useful and learned new things from it. Just keep in mind you may learn little to no new information from some chapters. If you are a beginner or could use help in the areas mentioned in the title, this book will probably help you! Overall though, this book likely has something new to offer most readers.

[Pavireads · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading The Science of Attraction feels like uncovering the blueprint of human connection. It’s a fascinating exploration of what truly draws people together—not just physically, but emotionally and psychologically. The book delves into how our subconscious minds influence attraction and provides practical, research-backed insights that feel both enlightening and actionable.

What stood out most is how it encourages authenticity while helping readers navigate the subtle, often overlooked dynamics of flirting and forming connections. It doesn’t rely on gimmicks or superficial advice but instead gives a deeper understanding of how we’re wired and how small, intentional actions can make a big difference.

The sections on understanding body language and first impressions were especially eye-opening. They made me reconsider how little things—like tone, touch, or even a smile—can create a lasting impact. If you’re looking for a guide that empowers you to approach relationships with confidence and genuine intent, this book is worth every page.

[Navya Sri · Rating 4 out of 5]

How do you talk to someone you like and get them hinged on to you. Rather put this way, what's the best possible way to present yourself both verbal and non verbal gestures for a long lasting impression. 


This book is determined to put forward the successful approach which comes in handy and gradually builds any such relationships or dating, flirting with someone. The arguments are based on the neuro chemistry which are studied through Brian mapping techniques.


It helps you understand how to fit into any situation through first impressions and assess the situation based on variables at hand. Through this you can understand the concepts such as friendship formula, theory of love, learning about your wants and dislikes, the things which you should be aware about. 


By the end of this read you will be polarised enough to get to know about the dating game, chasing someone, connection building through scientific theories and adjust your game based on how you are welcomed.

[Merve &#x1f48b; · Rating 3 out of 5]

I started this book only out of curiosity. I was curious what could be said about relationships and flirting in a scientific way but even though it was amusing, I still found this book not scientific enough. It didn’t tell me more than the random psychology channels’ “how to flirt better” videos on Youtube. At this point, I must say, I was very disappointed. It was very well structured, the chapters were neat and interconnected but as I said, the content wasn’t satisfying for me. Most of the things that were said in the book was attainable by good observation, to my opinion. If you really know nothing about flirting and a total failure, maybe you should read but if you know a few things about social dynamics, you can steer well on your own without much guidance. However, I really enjoy light psychological readings, so this book amused me in my spare time and I had good time reading it. This is why I think it deserves 3 stars. It was good but not very good. It was average good. If you already have some psychology basis, I’d recommend you to read heavier, more complex and more professionally-written books though.
Anyway, I appreciate the author’s effort. Thanks for writing this, good work!!

[Kelly Walsh · Rating 3 out of 5]

it was ok. nothing i didn't know, but still interesting.

[Brent Seheult · Rating 3 out of 5]

Don't waste your money on this book.

[Kamran Avanaki · Rating 5 out of 5]

it was an interesting and educational book. not too deep but good points about science of many behaviors in relationships

[Gabriel Levc · Rating 1 out of 5]

sexist af, and the guy has no clue what kinds of studies constitute evidence for something. read if you‘re a bro who wants to be reaffirmed in all of his beliefs.

[Paul Franco · Rating 3 out of 5]

Though the title is accurate, that’s not to say this is written by a scientist. The author is a self-confessed guru in the area of how to meet women, though it must be said nowhere near as skeevy as that sounds. As far as the science goes, he seems to have done the research, as the data quoted is well documented.
Starts with the four parts necessary for attraction. Not gonna spoiler them, but in general I reluctantly agree with them.
There's a lot of times when the author cites a study, then ends up saying, "When put like that, it's not surprising.”
Everything here is pretty basic, but then I think it was supposed to be. It’s a short book, and as I’ve come to expect from self-help books these days, the author pimps his website and workshop, or whatever it’s called, at the end.

[Lelininkas · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some interesting ideas, but mostly known facts about human nature. If you are interested in psychology behind human interaction (as am I) you should pick another book.
This book might be good starting point for people with social anxiety. On the other hand another book I'm reading at the moment - "Improve You Social Skills" by Daniel Wendler - is much more diverse and can offer wider range of insights into human interaction.

[Nick Steffl · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quick and interesting

King gives some very solid points, esepcially when it comes to the nature of men and women. I like the point of how people are deemed creep - really it has to due with them veing unattractive / the recipient of that attemtion not wanting it. Looks matter.
Unavailability and unpredictability are atrrqctive. Be that busy person who is doing shit, seeing friends, involved in activities and organizations. Engaged people are engaging.
Worth the read

[Ivuoma · Rating 3 out of 5]

Informative and rings true to life. Single, dating, or married this book proves a fascinating read into the nuances of human relationships.

[Madly Jane · Rating 2 out of 5]

No rating. EVER.