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The Family Nobody Wanted
Doss's charming, touching, and at times hilarious chronicle tells how each of the children, representing white, Chinese, Japanese, Filipino, Korean, Mexican, and Native American backgrounds, came to her and husband Carl, a Methodist minister. She writes of the way the "unwanted" feeling was erased with devoted love and understanding and how the children united into one happy family. Her account reads like a novel, with scenes of hard times and triumphs described in vivid prose. The Family Nobody Wanted, which inspired two films, opened doors for other adoptive families and was a popular favorite among parents, young adults, and children for more than thirty years. Now this edition will introduce the classic to a new generation of readers. An epilogue by Helen Doss that updates the family's progress since 1954 will delight the book's loyal legion of fans around the world.
274 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1954
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 230 reviews
August 19, 2016
I'm sure this was supposed to be heartwarming. In the 1940s the Doss family adopted 12 children, 11 of whom were unwanted and languishing in orphanages because of their racial makeup. All of the children came from different races: Filipino, Indian, Mexican, Japanese, etc. The children all grew up to be happy and healthy and well-loved. There were cute stories. The end.
I know the 1940s were a different time. The prevailing opinion was that all children needed was love. But even then, this story seemed...extreme. The first child the Dosses adopted was a white infant, but when he got to be a bit older they decided he needed more company. They first adopted a 2-year-old. By the time this 2-year-old turned 3 the family had adopted three other children, all under 3. By the time the same child turned four the family had adopted three more children, one of whom was a newborn, and had also provided long-term foster care to a troubled Japanese boy who had watched most of his family die in an internment camp.
Who thought it was a good idea to keep giving this woman children??? Not her husband...he kept begging her to stop. She actually sent out the inquiries behind his back. There was one social worker who seemed to be the lone voice of reason: when Helen Doss wanted to foster two Indian children the social worker looked at their two-bedroom one-bath house with 10 people living in it (and only one of the children was even in school by that point) and refused.
And it also made me wonder whether kids in the '40s were that much more resilient than kids today. There was no reported separation anxiety or behavioural issues until children #8 and 9 came along--they sometimes cried for their "Other Mother". But within a week they were fully adjusted and happy.
Helen Doss clearly had good intentions. But I'm curious about what these kids would say about the way they grew up. I can't imagine having three other brothers and sisters in my same grade at school--was this as fun as Helen claims? There's only one racial issue reported in the book--one of the little boys got teased on his first day of school for having dark skin. Helen gave him a hug and told him it was okay, and by the end of the week he was the most popular boy in his school. Were things really that much simpler then?
I'll give the woman props for trying to do the right thing, but I don't think this was the whole story.
I know the 1940s were a different time. The prevailing opinion was that all children needed was love. But even then, this story seemed...extreme. The first child the Dosses adopted was a white infant, but when he got to be a bit older they decided he needed more company. They first adopted a 2-year-old. By the time this 2-year-old turned 3 the family had adopted three other children, all under 3. By the time the same child turned four the family had adopted three more children, one of whom was a newborn, and had also provided long-term foster care to a troubled Japanese boy who had watched most of his family die in an internment camp.
Who thought it was a good idea to keep giving this woman children??? Not her husband...he kept begging her to stop. She actually sent out the inquiries behind his back. There was one social worker who seemed to be the lone voice of reason: when Helen Doss wanted to foster two Indian children the social worker looked at their two-bedroom one-bath house with 10 people living in it (and only one of the children was even in school by that point) and refused.
And it also made me wonder whether kids in the '40s were that much more resilient than kids today. There was no reported separation anxiety or behavioural issues until children #8 and 9 came along--they sometimes cried for their "Other Mother". But within a week they were fully adjusted and happy.
Helen Doss clearly had good intentions. But I'm curious about what these kids would say about the way they grew up. I can't imagine having three other brothers and sisters in my same grade at school--was this as fun as Helen claims? There's only one racial issue reported in the book--one of the little boys got teased on his first day of school for having dark skin. Helen gave him a hug and told him it was okay, and by the end of the week he was the most popular boy in his school. Were things really that much simpler then?
I'll give the woman props for trying to do the right thing, but I don't think this was the whole story.
September 12, 2021
Helen Doss tells the story of how she and her husband came to adopt 12 children, 11 of them mixed-race, back when it wasn't in fashion. It details the everyday, funny little stories that every family creates in the process of growing up. It's been likened to "Little Women" and I can definitely see that - although I personally liked this one much more.
This is a book that I would love to use as a read-aloud someday with my own future children.
On the adoption side of things, I loved that the Doss' didn't follow the currently-popular model of "not disrupting birth order." Their twelve children were all adopted within roughly ten years of each other, and many are the same age. Although not disrupting birth order may work for some, I feel that love trumps age, and this memoir proves it.
Here's an excerpt that I feel humorously sums up adopting vs birthing (from chapter 18):
' ...I overheard Teddy and our girls talking to one of their young cousins.
"I like your baby brother," the cousin said.
"Us, too," Teddy said.
"Guess what?" the cousin said.
"What?" Susie asked.
"We're going to get a new baby, too."
"Oh."
A respectful and awed silence followed this announcement, then Laura asked, "Is your mother going to the orphanage, and adopt him?"
The cousin was taken aback. "Well, no. She's just going to go to the hospital and have him borned."
Again the silence, then came Laura's consoling voice. "Well, don't feel bad. I expect she'll really get to love him, just the same."
And all our children nodded. '
Update 4/2/19: I read this to my nieces (ages 6, 8, 10) and they all loved it, each rating it 5 stars. The themes and stories in the book also generated some good questions from them.
Update: 12/15/20: My nieces had been begging me to read this one to them again! It sparked new discussions this time around.
This is a book that I would love to use as a read-aloud someday with my own future children.
On the adoption side of things, I loved that the Doss' didn't follow the currently-popular model of "not disrupting birth order." Their twelve children were all adopted within roughly ten years of each other, and many are the same age. Although not disrupting birth order may work for some, I feel that love trumps age, and this memoir proves it.
Here's an excerpt that I feel humorously sums up adopting vs birthing (from chapter 18):
' ...I overheard Teddy and our girls talking to one of their young cousins.
"I like your baby brother," the cousin said.
"Us, too," Teddy said.
"Guess what?" the cousin said.
"What?" Susie asked.
"We're going to get a new baby, too."
"Oh."
A respectful and awed silence followed this announcement, then Laura asked, "Is your mother going to the orphanage, and adopt him?"
The cousin was taken aback. "Well, no. She's just going to go to the hospital and have him borned."
Again the silence, then came Laura's consoling voice. "Well, don't feel bad. I expect she'll really get to love him, just the same."
And all our children nodded. '
Update 4/2/19: I read this to my nieces (ages 6, 8, 10) and they all loved it, each rating it 5 stars. The themes and stories in the book also generated some good questions from them.
Update: 12/15/20: My nieces had been begging me to read this one to them again! It sparked new discussions this time around.
July 21, 2014
I happened upon a YouTube video recently, of this couple on Groucho Marx's You Bet Your Life and I was intrigued by the woman, Helen Doss, the author of this book. She and her husband were on Marx's show and when they were asked how old their children were, she hesitated a moment, b/c she had 12 children, all adopted and many were the same ages. She and her husband Carl were mavericks in their day, adopting mixed race children during the postwar 40's and 50's, when most orphanages wouldn't allow it.
I looked her up then, and saw she'd written a book about their experience adopting.
This was a fascinating read, not just b/c of her unique experience of adopting so many kids, but b/c of her down home style of writing. Doss shares little anecdotes of the children's conversations, along with comments made by neighbors and her and her husband's own insights and fears, and the result is a fast, easy interesting read.
I looked her up then, and saw she'd written a book about their experience adopting.
This was a fascinating read, not just b/c of her unique experience of adopting so many kids, but b/c of her down home style of writing. Doss shares little anecdotes of the children's conversations, along with comments made by neighbors and her and her husband's own insights and fears, and the result is a fast, easy interesting read.
May 21, 2011
Occasionally, I browse through Amazon.com looking for out-of-print books that I remember loving as a child, searching for something for my five-year-old daughter Beanie to enjoy as well. One of my favorite books was a worn Scholastic version of Helen Doss' The Family Nobody Wanted, and when I saw it had been rereleased, I added it to my very next order.
::: Creating a Family :::
The story of The Family Nobody Wanted starts with Helen Doss and her husband Carl, a journeyman painter who decides to quit fighting his calling, go back to school, and become a minister. Unable to have children of their own, the couple attempted to being adoption proceedings, only to be turned away every time due to the instability of finances, long waiting lists, and all the familiar stories. After years of waiting, Carl and Helen finally are able to adopt Donny, the child they've been waiting for, but when they attempt to add on to their family later, they discover that there are many children considered "unadoptable" because of their race.
Carl and Helen soon realize that their best chances of adding to their family are by taking in some of these children that "nobody wants" and so begins an amazing story of a couple who eventually adopted a total of 12 children, all but Donny and Suzie being of mixed or "undesirable" race.
::: The Original Super-Mom :::
While the premise of The Family Nobody Wanted sounds like something you'd find in just about any issue of People magazine, adopting multi-racial children wasn't accepted as it is now in an age where foreign adoptions seem almost more commonplace than domestic adoptions. The Dosses had to deal with not only economic issues with adopting their children, but also the typical prejudices of the age.
Even the social workers that they came in contact with seemed stunted by bigotry; one suggested that their one daughter who was part Mexican might have a harder time making friends than their Caucasian daughter. Other people asked if the Asian babies wanted chop suey instead of formula, and criticized Helen for not giving the Hispanic children spicy food. For the most part, however, the reaction to their multi-racial family takes a back burner to a far more inspirational story; how a couple could sacrifice time and time again to provide a home for children who might otherwise have ended up in an institutional setting until they reached adulthood.
The Dosses were actually made famous in a Life magazine spread in the 1950s, at which point they had nine of the 12 children they would end up with. Helen Doss actually wrote the book after the article appeared in Life, which generated interest in their story, and then the book disappeared. The reprinting includes an introduction by Mary Battenfeld, which talks about the impact that the book had, and also an epilogue by the author, which gives a brief overview of what had happened to the family in the almost 50 years since the book was published.
The best part for me was that, after I'd reread the book for myself, Beanie took off with it. Less than a day later, she returned the book (having skipped the introduction), and told me how much she loved it. I'm so happy that the book has been rereleased for another generation to love.
This review originally published at Epinions: http://www.epinions.com/review/The_Fa...
::: Creating a Family :::
The story of The Family Nobody Wanted starts with Helen Doss and her husband Carl, a journeyman painter who decides to quit fighting his calling, go back to school, and become a minister. Unable to have children of their own, the couple attempted to being adoption proceedings, only to be turned away every time due to the instability of finances, long waiting lists, and all the familiar stories. After years of waiting, Carl and Helen finally are able to adopt Donny, the child they've been waiting for, but when they attempt to add on to their family later, they discover that there are many children considered "unadoptable" because of their race.
Carl and Helen soon realize that their best chances of adding to their family are by taking in some of these children that "nobody wants" and so begins an amazing story of a couple who eventually adopted a total of 12 children, all but Donny and Suzie being of mixed or "undesirable" race.
::: The Original Super-Mom :::
While the premise of The Family Nobody Wanted sounds like something you'd find in just about any issue of People magazine, adopting multi-racial children wasn't accepted as it is now in an age where foreign adoptions seem almost more commonplace than domestic adoptions. The Dosses had to deal with not only economic issues with adopting their children, but also the typical prejudices of the age.
Even the social workers that they came in contact with seemed stunted by bigotry; one suggested that their one daughter who was part Mexican might have a harder time making friends than their Caucasian daughter. Other people asked if the Asian babies wanted chop suey instead of formula, and criticized Helen for not giving the Hispanic children spicy food. For the most part, however, the reaction to their multi-racial family takes a back burner to a far more inspirational story; how a couple could sacrifice time and time again to provide a home for children who might otherwise have ended up in an institutional setting until they reached adulthood.
The Dosses were actually made famous in a Life magazine spread in the 1950s, at which point they had nine of the 12 children they would end up with. Helen Doss actually wrote the book after the article appeared in Life, which generated interest in their story, and then the book disappeared. The reprinting includes an introduction by Mary Battenfeld, which talks about the impact that the book had, and also an epilogue by the author, which gives a brief overview of what had happened to the family in the almost 50 years since the book was published.
The best part for me was that, after I'd reread the book for myself, Beanie took off with it. Less than a day later, she returned the book (having skipped the introduction), and told me how much she loved it. I'm so happy that the book has been rereleased for another generation to love.
This review originally published at Epinions: http://www.epinions.com/review/The_Fa...
November 19, 2009
One of my all-time favorites, this book alternates between the stories of adopting and fostering children and the stories of raising them.
Helen Doss and her preacher husband can't conceive, but they are fortunate to adopt a healthy little boy. When they try to expand their family, they hit a wall and are told that there simply are no more children for them. After a brief dalliance with the black market, they resolve to keep applying in the hopes that they can someday adopt another child.
One day they are sitting in the waiting room at an adoption agency and in an offhand way a receptionist says "too bad you're not Filipino or Mexican" - when they prod her to explain, she reveals the dark secret of adoption in the U.S. - there are children in every state labeled unadoptable by agencies because of their race, their medical condition or their age, even as couples like the Dosses are desperately waiting for a child to adopt.
(Of course, there are still children that fall into these categories, and they are still difficult to place, but at least now parents are free to choose - what the Dosses helped break down were the official barriers put up by the very agencies that were supposed to help these children but instead stood in their way.)
One by one, the Dosses eventually adopt a dozen children - a little girl with a dangerous-looking birthmark, a pair of sisters who don't want to be separated, a few older children, and many children of mixed race who don't "fit" anywhere else.
What makes this book so great is that the Dosses are a real family and the book is full of stories about their everyday life. Every other chapter will give you a heart-rending look into the world of children who fall between the cracks and are considered "unadoptable" and the next chapter will have you laughing at the kind family anecdotes every family has, but not every mother can tell so well.
The thing about this book is, just read it.
Helen Doss and her preacher husband can't conceive, but they are fortunate to adopt a healthy little boy. When they try to expand their family, they hit a wall and are told that there simply are no more children for them. After a brief dalliance with the black market, they resolve to keep applying in the hopes that they can someday adopt another child.
One day they are sitting in the waiting room at an adoption agency and in an offhand way a receptionist says "too bad you're not Filipino or Mexican" - when they prod her to explain, she reveals the dark secret of adoption in the U.S. - there are children in every state labeled unadoptable by agencies because of their race, their medical condition or their age, even as couples like the Dosses are desperately waiting for a child to adopt.
(Of course, there are still children that fall into these categories, and they are still difficult to place, but at least now parents are free to choose - what the Dosses helped break down were the official barriers put up by the very agencies that were supposed to help these children but instead stood in their way.)
One by one, the Dosses eventually adopt a dozen children - a little girl with a dangerous-looking birthmark, a pair of sisters who don't want to be separated, a few older children, and many children of mixed race who don't "fit" anywhere else.
What makes this book so great is that the Dosses are a real family and the book is full of stories about their everyday life. Every other chapter will give you a heart-rending look into the world of children who fall between the cracks and are considered "unadoptable" and the next chapter will have you laughing at the kind family anecdotes every family has, but not every mother can tell so well.
The thing about this book is, just read it.
July 29, 2024
2024 Reread
It's been years since I've read this book! Oh the delight of the children, the situations that make me want to go over and help, and the love of the siblings. I think this is one of the books that helped inspire and nurture my love for adoption.
Yes, there are things I don't agree with such as the mom preaching in church for her pastor husband when he has to pastor two churches and they both insist on having church at the same time.
There are also some euphemisms in the book.
Oh, I love this book! It takes place mostly after WWII and the couple want a child. So they adopt Donny. Then they want a girl, but end up with two. Once child follows the another as Donny wants a brother his size, but they can’t find one, or turn away the rejected children who need homes either. Written by the mother, you’ll laugh over mishaps, chuckle over the things the kids say, feel the tears start over some things, and fall in love with this family.
It's been years since I've read this book! Oh the delight of the children, the situations that make me want to go over and help, and the love of the siblings. I think this is one of the books that helped inspire and nurture my love for adoption.
Yes, there are things I don't agree with such as the mom preaching in church for her pastor husband when he has to pastor two churches and they both insist on having church at the same time.
There are also some euphemisms in the book.
Oh, I love this book! It takes place mostly after WWII and the couple want a child. So they adopt Donny. Then they want a girl, but end up with two. Once child follows the another as Donny wants a brother his size, but they can’t find one, or turn away the rejected children who need homes either. Written by the mother, you’ll laugh over mishaps, chuckle over the things the kids say, feel the tears start over some things, and fall in love with this family.
April 30, 2021
The story is so interesting: A white couple opening their home to (eventually) 12 minority orphans in the 50s, and on a small town minister's salary! It's sweet and nostalgic, with a message that is very timely for us in the 21st century - we are all made in His image. Note: language has changed since 1954, so some things she says no longer means what it did back 60 + years ago, making certain parts cringe worthy 😝.
July 1, 2008
The author narrates her experience of gradually adopting a dozen children. A poor pastor's wife, she at first intends to adopt only one or two babies, but as she learns about the plight of mixed-race orphans, who had little chance of finding homes, she adopts one after another, of various ages and backgrounds. Doss' voice is personal and upbeat, without becoming overly sentimental or idealized.
October 1, 2012
Enjoyed reading this true story of the Doss family and their journey of adopting 12 children during the 1930's - 1950's. American life during this time was hard for me to relate to, and the prejudices of that time were unnerving. It's difficult for me to imagine that the "mixed blood" children (in her case White, Chinese, Japanese, Filipino, Korean, Mexican, Native American) were so undesirable to families of that time period.
I was so glad that I read the new 2001 edition of Helen Doss's memoir (originally published in 1954), as it included an Epilogue by the author providing an update on all her family. I wish she would have included more photos of the family in her book.
The stories of Doss family life were filled with challenges, but the author focuses on the joy and the fulfillment these children provided to her, her minister husband, and to the children.
The Doss family inspired magazine articles and TV appearances/shows. In 1956 their story was played on TV's Playhouse 90 with Nanette Fabray playing Helen. A made-for-TV movie (with Shirley Jones & Willie Aames as a child) aired in 1975. Helen Doss wrote additional children's books including "All The Children of the World", "The Really Real Family", "A Brother the Size of Me", "Friends Around the World". Unfortunately, Helen and her husband Carl divorced eventually.
I was so glad that I read the new 2001 edition of Helen Doss's memoir (originally published in 1954), as it included an Epilogue by the author providing an update on all her family. I wish she would have included more photos of the family in her book.
The stories of Doss family life were filled with challenges, but the author focuses on the joy and the fulfillment these children provided to her, her minister husband, and to the children.
The Doss family inspired magazine articles and TV appearances/shows. In 1956 their story was played on TV's Playhouse 90 with Nanette Fabray playing Helen. A made-for-TV movie (with Shirley Jones & Willie Aames as a child) aired in 1975. Helen Doss wrote additional children's books including "All The Children of the World", "The Really Real Family", "A Brother the Size of Me", "Friends Around the World". Unfortunately, Helen and her husband Carl divorced eventually.
February 4, 2013
I requested this book be brought up from storage in our library, because I had just read a play based on the book, in consideration for our theater company's next season. The charming play is loosely based on the family, but the book is a memoir written by the mother. I don't know why this isn't a classic...or maybe it is, and I've just never heard of it before? A seminary student and his young wife, during WWII, begin to adopt "unadoptable" children because they are unable to have their own. The children are all multi-ethnic, and agencies can't find a family from either culture to want them. Some are various Asian ethnicities; some are Native American; some have a mix of European backgrounds. Ultimately, over the course of ten years, the Doss family adopts 12 of these children. Their experiences, while humorous, are also inspiring, and interesting in the amount of ignorance and prejudice encountered by well-meaning white people. After reading about Helen Doss' daily care for this huge family, I vowed to never complain about caring for one active two-year-old again!! (We'll see whether I can keep that vow...)
October 10, 2010
I found this book to be a quick and entertaining read. While the writing may not be earth-shattering, it flowed well and kept my attention easily. I thought the information about adopting racially different children in the fifties was fascinating. However, this book was more of a skimming of Helen Doss's journey in adopting 12 children. I think I would have peferred a more in depth look at her trials, heartbreak, and struggles.
July 1, 2013
I was mostly interested in the adoption legal procedures and protocols. Ex. The humongous amount of red tape involved in trying to adopt a half-negro child from Germany. There are also nice lessons to help children understand racial bigotry.
The woman was the original Angelina Jolie, but this one adopted 12! I get cynical when she, realizing she should have stopped at nine, goes away to college and leaves them all with her husband!
The woman was the original Angelina Jolie, but this one adopted 12! I get cynical when she, realizing she should have stopped at nine, goes away to college and leaves them all with her husband!
December 30, 2014
I love this book. I reread it every year. It's one of those feel good books that reminds you there are amazing people in the world. I was introduced to this book as kid and I still love it as an adult.
March 21, 2014
Wonderful, inspiring read. I read this book in 6th grade. Reinforced my desire to be a mother and raise a family, whether they were my own or adopted.
August 2, 2014
I've read this about 50 times. I still love it! The true story of a family who adopts twelve children. It's out of print now, by I have a copy.
February 6, 2017
This book was mentioned on an adoption blog, and I remember reading it years ago. Doss' active faith lived out through rainbow adoption remains an inspiration to me. The story stayed with me, but the title got lost. Happy to be reunited with a classic and looking for a copy for my library.
I found this article written at the time of the author's death...
http://www.redlandsdailyfacts.com/art...
Onetime Redlands author Helen Doss Reed dies at age 97
By
By Kristina Hernandez
kristina.hernandez@ inlandnewspapers.com, @TheFactsKris on Twitter
POSTED: 04/18/13, 12:01 AM PDT | 0 COMMENTS
REDLANDS -- Helen Grigsby Doss Reed, the matriarch of the Doss Family who made their home here in the 1950s, died April 12 in Spring Valley. She was 97.
Reed's story was the inspiration of her best-selling novel, "The Family Nobody Wanted." Published in the 1950s, the book talked about Reed and her then-husband Carl's large family, how they came to adopt their first child and their everyday routine.
The family would later share their story on a number of television programs, and the Dosses' work would become the inspiration for many looking to adopt outside of their own race, her family said.
Reed was born Helen Louise Grigsby on Aug. 9, 1915, in Sanderstead, Surrey, England, but was raised in Illinois, where she met Carl Doss. The couple married in 1937.
The Dosses adopted their first child in the 1940s, and after wanting a "brother and sister" for the children they already had, they decided to open their home to more. They adopted a total of 12, each coming from a different ethnic background, including Chinese, French and Scottish.
In 1953, the family came to Redlands, moving into the old Lyon House at Wabash and Sixth avenues. The family's reputation as the "United Nations Family" preceded the move. The Redlands Daily Facts featured a story on the Doss Family after they settled in town.
"Everyone wants to know how we can afford such a large family and how we manage," Carl Doss, a Methodist minister, said in the article. "It's a long story and I've been asked to explain it at several special engagements, but I find that it takes longer than an evening to tell all. In the first place, we have a different philosophy of life than some people. We buy only the bare necessities. " Several articles on the family would follow.
In 1954, Helen Doss' novel was published. It became an international best seller and was the inspiration for a 1956 episode of TV's "Playhouse 90" directed by John Frankenheimer and a 1970s film starring Shirley Jones.
The family also appeared on an episode of "You Bet Your Life" with Groucho Marx the year "Family" was published to share their story. The family also made TV appearances on "The Betty White Show," "Art Linkletter Show" and "Cavalcade of Books," to name a few, and was also the inspiration of a three-act comedy based on Reed's book. High schools still perform the play, said her daughter, Diane Doss of Long Beach.
After her book was published, Reed drew a crowd when she signed books at Harris Co. on Fifth Street. She later told The Facts she had aspirations to write a handbook on the adoption process, which she did in 1957 with "If You Adopt a Child."
She would continue writing books for all age groups through 1981, totaling 13 in all, her family said. "She wrote books and then she wrote articles prior to even writing books," her daughter said. "She was a freelance writer for the American Girl Magazine ... that was associated with the Girl Scouts. And the earliest articles I found on that were in the 1940s, and the last was in the mid-1950s. She also wrote a two-part article for McCall Magazine that was pretty much about our family, but it was separate from her book. "
Helen and Carl Doss divorced in 1966. He died in 1994. In 1984, Helen Doss remarried and moved to Tucson, Ariz., with her new husband, Roger Reed. The couple retired in 2006 and moved to Mountain Miguel Covenant Village in Spring Valley. Reed died on March 18.
Helen Reed was also a public speaker and ministered in Christianity, her daughter said. She also dabbled in painting and enjoyed music, especially selections by her favorite conductor, Leonard Bernstein. At family gatherings she would play the auto harp and her children would often sing with her. She also contributed regularly to the Salvation Army and the American Red Cross.
"She made many sacrifices to make a difference in the lives of others," her daughter said. "She made a difference in the lives of 12 orphans. She made a difference in the lives of those who read her books and her stories, and were touched by their message. She made a difference in the lives of orphans around the world that were adopted by couples who read (her) stories and gave validation for adoption outside of their own race."
In addition to her husband, Helen Reed was preceded in death by three sons, Greg Doss in 1996, Richard Doss in 1997 and Alex Doss in 2009.
In addition to Diane Doss, Reed is survived by sons Don Doss of Santa Rosa, Ted Doss of Rosemead and Tim Doss of Mentone; daughters Dorothy Lopez of Yucaipa, Elaine Flanigan of Redlands, Lora Jaramillo of North Hills, Susie Vorderstasse of Oregon and Rita Villareal of Redlands; stepsons John and Jim Reed of Arizona; a sister, Jane Watts of Spring Valley; 32 grandchildren; 47 great-grandchildren and three great-great grandchildren.
Private services will be at Mount Miguel Covenant Village in Spring Valley. The family suggests donations in Reed's memory to the American Red Cross, the Salvation Army or to their favorite church.
I found this article written at the time of the author's death...
http://www.redlandsdailyfacts.com/art...
Onetime Redlands author Helen Doss Reed dies at age 97
By
By Kristina Hernandez
kristina.hernandez@ inlandnewspapers.com, @TheFactsKris on Twitter
POSTED: 04/18/13, 12:01 AM PDT | 0 COMMENTS
REDLANDS -- Helen Grigsby Doss Reed, the matriarch of the Doss Family who made their home here in the 1950s, died April 12 in Spring Valley. She was 97.
Reed's story was the inspiration of her best-selling novel, "The Family Nobody Wanted." Published in the 1950s, the book talked about Reed and her then-husband Carl's large family, how they came to adopt their first child and their everyday routine.
The family would later share their story on a number of television programs, and the Dosses' work would become the inspiration for many looking to adopt outside of their own race, her family said.
Reed was born Helen Louise Grigsby on Aug. 9, 1915, in Sanderstead, Surrey, England, but was raised in Illinois, where she met Carl Doss. The couple married in 1937.
The Dosses adopted their first child in the 1940s, and after wanting a "brother and sister" for the children they already had, they decided to open their home to more. They adopted a total of 12, each coming from a different ethnic background, including Chinese, French and Scottish.
In 1953, the family came to Redlands, moving into the old Lyon House at Wabash and Sixth avenues. The family's reputation as the "United Nations Family" preceded the move. The Redlands Daily Facts featured a story on the Doss Family after they settled in town.
"Everyone wants to know how we can afford such a large family and how we manage," Carl Doss, a Methodist minister, said in the article. "It's a long story and I've been asked to explain it at several special engagements, but I find that it takes longer than an evening to tell all. In the first place, we have a different philosophy of life than some people. We buy only the bare necessities. " Several articles on the family would follow.
In 1954, Helen Doss' novel was published. It became an international best seller and was the inspiration for a 1956 episode of TV's "Playhouse 90" directed by John Frankenheimer and a 1970s film starring Shirley Jones.
The family also appeared on an episode of "You Bet Your Life" with Groucho Marx the year "Family" was published to share their story. The family also made TV appearances on "The Betty White Show," "Art Linkletter Show" and "Cavalcade of Books," to name a few, and was also the inspiration of a three-act comedy based on Reed's book. High schools still perform the play, said her daughter, Diane Doss of Long Beach.
After her book was published, Reed drew a crowd when she signed books at Harris Co. on Fifth Street. She later told The Facts she had aspirations to write a handbook on the adoption process, which she did in 1957 with "If You Adopt a Child."
She would continue writing books for all age groups through 1981, totaling 13 in all, her family said. "She wrote books and then she wrote articles prior to even writing books," her daughter said. "She was a freelance writer for the American Girl Magazine ... that was associated with the Girl Scouts. And the earliest articles I found on that were in the 1940s, and the last was in the mid-1950s. She also wrote a two-part article for McCall Magazine that was pretty much about our family, but it was separate from her book. "
Helen and Carl Doss divorced in 1966. He died in 1994. In 1984, Helen Doss remarried and moved to Tucson, Ariz., with her new husband, Roger Reed. The couple retired in 2006 and moved to Mountain Miguel Covenant Village in Spring Valley. Reed died on March 18.
Helen Reed was also a public speaker and ministered in Christianity, her daughter said. She also dabbled in painting and enjoyed music, especially selections by her favorite conductor, Leonard Bernstein. At family gatherings she would play the auto harp and her children would often sing with her. She also contributed regularly to the Salvation Army and the American Red Cross.
"She made many sacrifices to make a difference in the lives of others," her daughter said. "She made a difference in the lives of 12 orphans. She made a difference in the lives of those who read her books and her stories, and were touched by their message. She made a difference in the lives of orphans around the world that were adopted by couples who read (her) stories and gave validation for adoption outside of their own race."
In addition to her husband, Helen Reed was preceded in death by three sons, Greg Doss in 1996, Richard Doss in 1997 and Alex Doss in 2009.
In addition to Diane Doss, Reed is survived by sons Don Doss of Santa Rosa, Ted Doss of Rosemead and Tim Doss of Mentone; daughters Dorothy Lopez of Yucaipa, Elaine Flanigan of Redlands, Lora Jaramillo of North Hills, Susie Vorderstasse of Oregon and Rita Villareal of Redlands; stepsons John and Jim Reed of Arizona; a sister, Jane Watts of Spring Valley; 32 grandchildren; 47 great-grandchildren and three great-great grandchildren.
Private services will be at Mount Miguel Covenant Village in Spring Valley. The family suggests donations in Reed's memory to the American Red Cross, the Salvation Army or to their favorite church.
July 5, 2011
This book reminded me of one of the books I would have found on my great-grandparents' shelf, mixed in with stories about horses and loyal dogs. (They were mostly my great-Uncle Lonnie's books from his childhood, I later found out.) Reading it was exactly like stepping back in time to when my great-grandparents were beginning their family, and I loved that look back at the time period.
This book details Helen Doss' journey to adopting a dozen children, the majority of whom came from minority backgrounds, all while living on the meager salary her Methodist preacher husband received. Helen takes us from the adoption of her son Donald all the way through moves, sicknesses, house renovations, going back to college, and the final adoption of their last three children.
At one point, Helen mentions being featured in Life magazine with a photo spread. You can read the issue - the family is featured towards the end - through Google Books here. As I read the article, I thought how amazing it would be for Helen to know that sixty years after the book's publication, someone would be able to pull it up on their computer screen after five minutes' effort, and see her children as they appeared in 1951.
There were a few parts I thought were maybe overly cutesy and probably exaggerated for the sake of humor or the flow of the memoir, but overall, I really enjoyed this sweet look back at a unique family in the 1950s.
This book details Helen Doss' journey to adopting a dozen children, the majority of whom came from minority backgrounds, all while living on the meager salary her Methodist preacher husband received. Helen takes us from the adoption of her son Donald all the way through moves, sicknesses, house renovations, going back to college, and the final adoption of their last three children.
At one point, Helen mentions being featured in Life magazine with a photo spread. You can read the issue - the family is featured towards the end - through Google Books here. As I read the article, I thought how amazing it would be for Helen to know that sixty years after the book's publication, someone would be able to pull it up on their computer screen after five minutes' effort, and see her children as they appeared in 1951.
There were a few parts I thought were maybe overly cutesy and probably exaggerated for the sake of humor or the flow of the memoir, but overall, I really enjoyed this sweet look back at a unique family in the 1950s.
September 9, 2016
Reading this book was kind of like finding your grandmother's old tattered copy of Heidi in a bookshelf as a kid- I was surprised at how much I loved the story. The author's "United Nations" family of the 1950s that was featured in Life Magazine was created by Carl and Helen Doss, as they one by one (and once two by two and finally, three by three) adopted their children, most of whom were multiracial and who, at the time, were left to languish in orphanages because of it.
Reading this book reminds people not only of how there are usually good people in the world, that all children are pretty much the same, and how some people are blessed with infinite patience and understanding, BUT also that parenting used to be a whole different ball game, where a mother could send five children, the oldest one five or six, just "out to play" while she worked on projects indoors. The kids in this book had such freedom compared to our children today, they were so imaginative and self-sufficient. I was a bit awed.
Finally, this book is definitely dated, so if you are only interested in contemporary memoirs and stories, this isn't for you. The author uses some old slang (boner, for bad jokes, for instance- have to admit I giggled), some old terms for people of other races (some more offensive than others), and the family doesn't have television, the wiring to hook up their washer and dryer that they won from a contest, etc. The conveniences of Doss' life were few, which, again, makes her life as a mother to twelve young children pretty amazing.
Three stars.
Reading this book reminds people not only of how there are usually good people in the world, that all children are pretty much the same, and how some people are blessed with infinite patience and understanding, BUT also that parenting used to be a whole different ball game, where a mother could send five children, the oldest one five or six, just "out to play" while she worked on projects indoors. The kids in this book had such freedom compared to our children today, they were so imaginative and self-sufficient. I was a bit awed.
Finally, this book is definitely dated, so if you are only interested in contemporary memoirs and stories, this isn't for you. The author uses some old slang (boner, for bad jokes, for instance- have to admit I giggled), some old terms for people of other races (some more offensive than others), and the family doesn't have television, the wiring to hook up their washer and dryer that they won from a contest, etc. The conveniences of Doss' life were few, which, again, makes her life as a mother to twelve young children pretty amazing.
Three stars.
September 14, 2013
This was a quick read! Pleasant and enjoyable, and quite interesting to see how this one family faced the prejudices of their time in a practical, matter-of-fact way, and how they came to that reality.
It also made me realize the extent to which the housewife's life was governed by day-to-day chores, especially with children and without the benefit of modern conveniences like appliances and disposable diapers. It made me wonder where all my time goes, and inspired me to find more of it. An added bonus to reading this book.
It also made me realize the extent to which the housewife's life was governed by day-to-day chores, especially with children and without the benefit of modern conveniences like appliances and disposable diapers. It made me wonder where all my time goes, and inspired me to find more of it. An added bonus to reading this book.
May 23, 2014
I first read this book years ago as a teenager and probably a pre-teen. I was wonderful to read it again now more than 30 years later. I thought that the book took place in the 50's but it was written in the 50's and actually begins before WWII and goes through the war years and beyond. It was amazing to read in the book how happy they were when he was making $2,500 a year instead of $900 a year. And raising a family. Anyone who has an interest in adoption or foster care will probably love this book and love the family it is about.
February 16, 2020
Set in the 40’s this is the true story of the Doss’s who were unable to have any children. Reaching out to a adoption agency they eventually were able to adopt one child. When they went back to try for another adoption, they were told they could only adopt one white child so Helen reached out to other agencies that had different race or mixed race children. They eventually through sheer determination adopted a total of 12 children. Wonderfully written and so inspirational, I sped through this book.
February 8, 2016
- They shared their home with some of the neediest children of their time. An interesting story of large family logistics. She comes across as a bit domineering and I do not believe it was right for her to preach even in a pinch. The Gospel is not mentioned, which I found a bit odd because this was written by a ministers wife. God created, loves, and died for all people no matter their skin color or national origin.
February 26, 2020
Oh my goodness. I. Love. This. Book. This book is such a nice book, wonderfully written. Can you imagine having 12 adopted children, because I know that I can't!!! I suggest that you read this book!!!!!!(for some reason I like books that include huge family's, and total chaos!!!😋)
April 27, 2025
I still love this book, no matter how many times I read it.
February 22, 2015
This delightful book was originally published in 1954. Helen Doss tells the story of the adventure begun by herself & her Methodist minister husband Carl when they started adopting children. Originally their intent was to find "a boy the same size as me" for their first son, Donny who wanted a brother. Eight more children were adopted and still Donny, age seven, didn't have a sibling his age. Finally, when Donny was eleven, another 11-year-old boy was found but he came with another girl and another baby. Twelve children proved to be the magic number for the Doss family, most of the children from multi-racial backgrounds. The story is told with humor and faith and the firm belief that the color of a person's skin is meaningless. Thankfully, this new printing includes a 2001 epilogue by Helen Doss in which she details the lives of each child as an adult. I found myself so caught up with the various children and it was so satisfying to read at the end of how their lives turned out.
February 21, 2008
I have read this book many, many times and I always come away touched and uplifted. Helen Doss and her husband are amazing people who paved the way. I respect them so much. They are truly Christ-like in their fundamental capability to be "no respecter of persons." I aspire to be as accepting of humanity as they have been.
UPDATED:
I recently re-read this book before giving a review of it at church. Once again I was touched by its humor and goodness. I really wanted to see the Life photos of the family so I spent some time with Google searching for them. Boy did I get an update! I did find some of the photos but they were quite grainy and difficult to see. I also found out that Carl and Helen Doss divorced in 1964. This saddened my greatly and has somewhat colored my perspective of the story. Each family has frailities and this one wasn't an exception. It's easy to start rethinking the stories and seeing Helen and Carl in a different light based on how their lives turned out.
UPDATED:
I recently re-read this book before giving a review of it at church. Once again I was touched by its humor and goodness. I really wanted to see the Life photos of the family so I spent some time with Google searching for them. Boy did I get an update! I did find some of the photos but they were quite grainy and difficult to see. I also found out that Carl and Helen Doss divorced in 1964. This saddened my greatly and has somewhat colored my perspective of the story. Each family has frailities and this one wasn't an exception. It's easy to start rethinking the stories and seeing Helen and Carl in a different light based on how their lives turned out.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 4, 2013
It was fun and interesting to read about how a family copes with adding more children to their family through adoption, especially since it was in the 40s and 50s that they were adopting. All the children but the first were multiracial or other wise "not wanted" The little stories were entertaining. I think I would have given it four stars except after about six kids it started to be a bit repetitions. It was heart-warming to read that someone paved the way for the next generations of multiracial families that would form in the next decades up to the present.
March 9, 2016
I first read this back in 2nd or 3rd grade - certainly before 1963. And I recently re-read it after I saw a clip of Carl and Helen Doss on an old Groucho Marx show.
It simply a very well-written, smooth book, the story of a couple who wanted kids but could not physically bear them.
They ended up adopting unwanted kids - 12 of them.
The story is bathed in love and compassion and order. The kids thrived on being loved, loved by their parents, loved by each other.
It simply a very well-written, smooth book, the story of a couple who wanted kids but could not physically bear them.
They ended up adopting unwanted kids - 12 of them.
The story is bathed in love and compassion and order. The kids thrived on being loved, loved by their parents, loved by each other.
November 21, 2013
I read this book in sixth grade, ordered it from a school book order. It touched me deeply. Strangely, the book was a comfort to me, I read it the year after my mother passed away. I devoured every page, I loved every child she raised and adopted, and when I was through I was determined to be just like her and have and/or adopt 12 children of my own someday. It didn't turn out that way, but I am pleased with the way it did turn out.
January 28, 2014
This book is a delightful story of a family that was unable to have children biologically and how God provided 12 children, of all shapes, sizes and colors to joint their family before and after WW2.
It speaks of the joys, trials etc. of being a poor family in that time. I especially liked the story when they were in school and how they collected dandelion greens for vegetables and ate canned rattlesnake meat as they had nothing else.
This is a wonderful story!
It speaks of the joys, trials etc. of being a poor family in that time. I especially liked the story when they were in school and how they collected dandelion greens for vegetables and ate canned rattlesnake meat as they had nothing else.
This is a wonderful story!
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