Solitaire: The Intimate Lives of Single Women

by Marian Botsford-Fraser

"I know there’s one person that I’m spending the rest of my life with, and that would be me."
–Peggy

For single women, that understanding may be a hard truth or a liberating revelation; for every woman you will meet in this book, it is the beginning of a story.

Forget Bridget Jones and Sex and the City – the lives of real single women are far more complex, more risky, more astonishing, and potentially more fulfilling than any fictional fantasy. Marian Botsford Fraser invited single women to reveal their experiences, their obsessions, and their secrets. The result is a work that blends memoir with cultural history and chronicles a social revolution in an intimate voice.

There are more than 4 million single women in Canada, and most Canadian women will be single for most of their lives. Botsford Fraser interviewed scores of women in every state of singlehood, from all parts of the country and every social stratum. She uncovered wildly divergent paths but also deep connections. The pitied figure of the spinster in Western culture, Canada’s particular brand of maternal feminism, six decades of ideal womanhood as dictated by Chatelaine all have conspired to isolate the unattached woman and all are being swept away. Herself single after a 20-year marriage, Botsford Fraser found answers to familiar dilemmas about sex and celibacy, money and financial insecurity, illness and old age, and the quest for a meaningful life of one’s own.

She discovered validation, inspiration, and transformation in the true stories of women who are redefining the meaning of family, community, and the new "single woman."

Genres: Feminism

320 pages, Hardcover

First published October 23, 2001

Reviews

[Erika Nerdypants · Rating 5 out of 5]

I came across this while poking around the non-fiction shelves at my local library. I'm so glad I read it. The author travelled from coast to coast in Canada, and collected the stories of women who identify as single. The writing is beautiful, the tone conversational and MBF manages to let the women speak for themselves, weaving their experiences together. In praise of women!

[Simone Hébert · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book really made me think about what we often believe ... that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Living alone or living in a couple is hard in different ways. And often happens without us choosing for it to be so. I found myself quite shocked at the promiscuousness of these women ... guess I am still old school and tend to admire people with strong morals. Besides, with all this apparent "freedom", I find a lot of the women were really not very happy. Definitely interesting and an eye opener for me!

[Karah · Rating 5 out of 5]

An enthralling collection of interviews on Canadian women. The author ventured outside of metropolitan Canada to capture wisdom from renegade women. Each woman, whether soft or rough- mannered, exuded singularity and boldness for refusing to submit to societal conventions. I appreciate how no one attempted to present falsehoods about themselves. They owned their glories and their mistakes.

[Donya · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed reading about the independent women in this book but I wish there'd been women who really were alone, as in without friends as well since I felt like most women mentioned had at least a network of friends and/or children or some kind of community.

[Carlee]

Couldn't finish, will re-visit later