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Ugly
*To watch the trailer, click on my author name above.
If I were dead, I wouldn't be able to see.
If I were dead, I wouldn't be able to feel.
If I were dead, he'd never raise his hand to me again.
If I were dead, his words wouldn't cut as deep as they do.
If I were dead, I'd be beautiful and I wouldn't be so...ugly.
I'm not dead...but I wish I was.
*This is a dark YA/NA standalone, full-length novel. Contains violence and some explicit language.
If I were dead, I wouldn't be able to feel.
If I were dead, he'd never raise his hand to me again.
If I were dead, his words wouldn't cut as deep as they do.
If I were dead, I'd be beautiful and I wouldn't be so...ugly.
I'm not dead...but I wish I was.
*This is a dark YA/NA standalone, full-length novel. Contains violence and some explicit language.
323 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2015
1330 people are currently reading
3089 people want to read
About the author
Margaret McHeyzer
51 books1,180 followersNEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLING AUTHOR OF UGLY AND MISTRUST
I’m a two-time New York Times bestselling author for my stand-alone books Ugly and Mistrust. To date I’ve published over 30 books!
I’m first generation Australian born and live in Sydney with my husband, two daughters and my rescue-dog, Kingston!
I love to write stories to connect my readers to my strong, courageous characters…with some spice sprinkled between the pages.
The characters I write about can pop into my mind anytime and anywhere. From the shower, to washing dishes, playing with my puppy or even in my dreams. My characters can sometimes be intrusive, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Thank you for taking this journey with me and I truly hope you love reading my stories as much as I love writing them.
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October 17, 2015
**༻Complimentary Copy༺** Provided by the author "Margaret McHeyzer" in exchange for an honest review..Thank you!!
TITLE: Ugly
AUTHOR: Margaret McHeyzer
GENRE: Contemporary Romance, Young Adult
RELEASE DATE: October 20th, 2015
MY RATING: 5 STARS
UGLY: Will stay with me for a long long time, such a powerful, thought provoking roller coaster of a book..I connected with Lily on such an emotional level, the physical and emotional abuse had my heart breaking and my head reeling, such a powerful story that had me racing through the pages like a heroine addict on speed to see if Lily got the HEA she so desperately deserved..I wish I was an author where I could convey better at how much I really loved this story, to better word what I felt reading this..So this is why UGLY gets my 5 Stars..
I have been stalking this book since I saw read the synopsis and saw the cover for this!!
BROKEN
INVISIBLE
UGLY
EMOTIONAL & PHYSICAL ABUSE
The start of this is brutally in your face, it starts off with Lily hiding out in the closet from her drunk abusive father praying he doesn't get to her..
You’re so stupid.
The UGLY things he says to her, having a young impressionable mind she tends to believe all the negative belittling words that spew out of his mouth..
The only bright thing in her life is a friendship she strikes up with a boy named Trent, which started with a flower and him asking her name..He thinks she's pretty, she believes she's ugly..
You’re so ugly.
The little things we take for granted Lily doesn't have, the love of a parent, warm clothes, food in the cupboards or fridge, TV, mobile phone, no radio, no computer, etc..
The foods most of us have tried or tasted at least once, Lily hasn't, pop corn, fizzy drinks are alien objects to her, going to the movies, never experienced until Trent..
I'm only a few chapters in and this Trent fella is sending some red flags up, he seems very over the top obsessive over someone he's just met, a guy stares at Lily too long and he flips his lid..
Prays to the book gods that he is a good guy and she's not stepping out of the fire into the frying pan..
No one will ever want you.
I think Margaret captures the pure essence of a teenage damaged girl, you have to realise when reading this that she has had no outside or loving influences in her life so what her father says to her she takes stock of..
That red flag I had about Trent heed my warning, he's a world class manipulator of the worst kind, times I just want to jump in the book and shake the living daylights out of Lily for being so blind, easily manipulated, but remember she's not had good relations in her life..The only times someone tells her she's beautiful are from strangers..She just accepts what life throws at her thinking it's the norm..
You’re the dumbest person I know.
Whilst on a lunch break from her supermarket job entering the deli she notices a guy with a slight stutter, other than his classic good looks one thing that stood out in her mind was as he was leaving and a woman was entering he held the door open for her..it's not until years later under certain circumstances that she encounters him again..
I once thought he was a true gentleman, someone who saw a woman and knew how to treat her. But now I’m convinced he’s something much more. Now I know he’s an angel.
Thank god for Max..
TITLE: Ugly
AUTHOR: Margaret McHeyzer
GENRE: Contemporary Romance, Young Adult
RELEASE DATE: October 20th, 2015
MY RATING: 5 STARS
UGLY: Will stay with me for a long long time, such a powerful, thought provoking roller coaster of a book..I connected with Lily on such an emotional level, the physical and emotional abuse had my heart breaking and my head reeling, such a powerful story that had me racing through the pages like a heroine addict on speed to see if Lily got the HEA she so desperately deserved..I wish I was an author where I could convey better at how much I really loved this story, to better word what I felt reading this..So this is why UGLY gets my 5 Stars..
I have been stalking this book since I saw read the synopsis and saw the cover for this!!
BROKEN
INVISIBLE
UGLY
EMOTIONAL & PHYSICAL ABUSE
The start of this is brutally in your face, it starts off with Lily hiding out in the closet from her drunk abusive father praying he doesn't get to her..
You’re so stupid.
The UGLY things he says to her, having a young impressionable mind she tends to believe all the negative belittling words that spew out of his mouth..
The only bright thing in her life is a friendship she strikes up with a boy named Trent, which started with a flower and him asking her name..He thinks she's pretty, she believes she's ugly..
You’re so ugly.
The little things we take for granted Lily doesn't have, the love of a parent, warm clothes, food in the cupboards or fridge, TV, mobile phone, no radio, no computer, etc..
The foods most of us have tried or tasted at least once, Lily hasn't, pop corn, fizzy drinks are alien objects to her, going to the movies, never experienced until Trent..
I'm only a few chapters in and this Trent fella is sending some red flags up, he seems very over the top obsessive over someone he's just met, a guy stares at Lily too long and he flips his lid..
Prays to the book gods that he is a good guy and she's not stepping out of the fire into the frying pan..
No one will ever want you.
I think Margaret captures the pure essence of a teenage damaged girl, you have to realise when reading this that she has had no outside or loving influences in her life so what her father says to her she takes stock of..
That red flag I had about Trent heed my warning, he's a world class manipulator of the worst kind, times I just want to jump in the book and shake the living daylights out of Lily for being so blind, easily manipulated, but remember she's not had good relations in her life..The only times someone tells her she's beautiful are from strangers..She just accepts what life throws at her thinking it's the norm..
You’re the dumbest person I know.
Whilst on a lunch break from her supermarket job entering the deli she notices a guy with a slight stutter, other than his classic good looks one thing that stood out in her mind was as he was leaving and a woman was entering he held the door open for her..it's not until years later under certain circumstances that she encounters him again..
I once thought he was a true gentleman, someone who saw a woman and knew how to treat her. But now I’m convinced he’s something much more. Now I know he’s an angel.
Thank god for Max..
July 6, 2016
*This book was generously provided to me by the publisher via netgalley in exchange for an honest review*
**This review contains only my personnel opinion on the events of the book. You can agree or disagree with it.**
DNF at about 30%
Domestic abuse is a sensitive topic and rises a lot of moral questions. And it is not an easy topic to discuss. Some things are hard to understand for those who never was subjected to something horrible like violence at home from people who were suppose to care and love you. Honestly this book turned to be not exactly what I thought it would be. I know it was a noble cause for the author to write a book on such a sensitive topic. But was it enough for me to accept this book (I can't say enjoy or like because this book was written for us to see and understand some very disturbing things that are unfortunately happen every day with someone). No.
I have a friend who was subjected to domestic violence. It is not as harsh and violent as it was for the heroine of this book, but nevertheless it was and still extremely hard for my friend to psychologically cope with the situation in which the one who was supposed to take care of you, caused you harm. It is a trauma, the one that will doubtfully heal someday. My friend is a grown up now, it was some years ago when all these things happened, but she still can't talk about that past without tears or pain. So I know something about domestic abuse from the first hands. I was there when it happened to her. In the case of Ugly I did not feel that this book was realistic. Sorry, but the events and characters felt underdeveloped. The heroine was living alone with her Dad who abused her verbally and physically, her life was a hell. I get it. What I did not get, why didn't she want to leave this life behind after graduation? She was almost 18, she was clever. She could go to college, she could find a job. There were people ready to help her. People like the heroine from harsh background are EAGER to escape this life. She was almost 18, but it seemed like she was still 10, without the sense of self-preservation, still believing what her drunk father told her.
“You dumb, ugly piece of shit,” he says, as he paces back and forth in front of me.
“Sorry, Daddy. Whatever I did, I’m so sorry.” I cower into myself, trying to make myself as small as possible.“You’re just too fucking stupid, aren’t you?” he spits toward me as he brings his hand up to scratch at his chin.“I’m sorry,” I say again. Tears are falling hot and fast down my cheeks. My head hurts from where he was pulling my hair, but I don’t dare try to rub the spot.“You ugly fuck.” He kicks a boot into my leg.The pain is instant and my leg feels like it’s shattered. “Please, Daddy,” I beg again, burying my face into my hands.But ‘please’ never seems to work.Nothing does.I’ve just got to take the beatings, because that’s what stupid, ugly girls do.
You don't have to take any beatings, girl, you are a grown up now, go find someone who can help you. Don't hide behind stupid words like ugly and dumb, self pitying won't save you. Do something! Even if you weren't beautiful or clever - it is not a reason to endure all of this shit from your father. No one talks to me, because, well, I’m ugly. Ugly girls don’t have friends. We simply hide away and try to blend in wherever we can, trying our best to be shadows so no one looks at us, or approaches us.
Really? High school is almost finished for the year.What the hell am I going to do? I’m so scared. I’m so dumb, I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to get a job. Who’d want someone as stupid as me?
And this girl has 3.9 GPA at school.But in truth, how could anyone have helped me with the hell-hole that was my home?
Just ask for help and you'll see. I get that it takes courage, and people in this situation won't easily talk about their lives, but there were people ready to help the heroine, she just needed to be brave and ask for help, because the alternative wasn't good and what else did she have to loose?
Ok, in the beginning I still could cope with everything what was happening, but after this dude Trent appeared on the horizon - this book turned into disaster. First of all, he is strange. Second, he is possessive, they knew each other five minutes and he already had deep feelings for her?! No way. Third, he is abusive. Why the hell didn't she run away as soon as possible?! Was it not enough for her? No one who ever went through abuse, will want it again, they will run from it. I get that at first this Trent seemed nice and caring and that the heroine wanted someone to care for her, but some time later she saw what he really was. And don't start that she is naive and doesn't know better. Where's her sense of self-preservation again? She had a choice now, she just acted like a ten year old child, and decided it was easier to endure another abuse than stand for herself and leave all this shit behind. Again, author tries to excuse her, because she didn't know anything good in life and believed she was ugly and stupid. But to me it felt like she liked everything what was happening to her and yes, it seems she was really stupid.There’s an uncomfortable quiet between the two of us. I don’t know what to say. He got angry at that waiter for no reason, and then ordered for me. Lucky he did order, because I have no idea what I’d like.
Really, she did not notice that to be angry with people at no reason is not normal. All she cares about is food?!I stand and Trent links his fingers through mine. We make our way over to the cash register where the waiter who served us is waiting for us.“How was your meal?” he asks me.“You don’t talk to her, you ask me,” Trent half shouts, pulling me behind him as he steps in front of me.“How was your meal?” The waiter asks Trent in a sarcastic tone.“Watch your damn mouth. I’m a paying customer, and if you’re not nice to me and my girl, I’ll have you fired.”
That is not normal, any girl with half mind will notice it. Further things get only worse and what does heroine do about this? Nothing. She just takes shit without questions.“I got offered full scholarships to four universities. Actually, I got offered more, but these four are full scholarships.”“What? That’s fantastic. Wait…” he stops talking, going perfectly quiet as we keep walking home. “You’re not leaving me, Lily,” his tone changes and he sounds angry. “Unless one of those universities is the same as the one I’m going to, you’re not allowed to go.” He sounds angry with me.
“I’m not going to have you running around sucking another guy’s cock when you should be with me.”Wait…what did he say?
He lifts me to sit on him, and I can feel his erection pressing into me. “Trent,” I sigh. I can’t give him sex. It’s not what I want. It’s way too early for that. But Trent continues to kiss me, his body engulfing mine. “Trent, please,” I beg as I push on his chest.“You’re my girlfriend now, Lily. This is what we do to show each other how much we love one another.”Love? Love? What? “Trent.” I use more strength to push him away, but he’s much stronger than me. “Please, I’m not ready.”“Come on. I love you. Don’t you love me?” He keeps kissing me, his mouth moving away from my mouth down my neck. He’s sucking, licking and nibbling on the exposed skin. His left hand leaves my hip, and he starts to fondle my breast.
They just met, what love, what sex? And she doesn't want sex nor does she love this dude. I don't know anyone who wouldn't want to run away from this crazy guy and his crazy family after that. But obviously not the heroine.“You’re my girlfriend, Lily. If you’re not gonna let me fuck you, the least you can do is jack me off or suck me.” I stand looking at Trent. “It’s only a blowjob. All the girls are doing it. Hell, my friends are all having sex with their girlfriends. You owe me at least a blowjob.”
“Yeeeeeaaaaahh, about that, babe. You’ll have to catch a bus home.” I hear some people laughing in the background. “Achuly, you best walk ‘cause you’re looking real fat. I feeeeeeeeel like I’m fucking a piiiig.” There’s a huge uproar of laughter from whoever he’s with.“It’ll be midnight, Trent. I don’t want to walk back on my own. I’ll get a cab.”“Noooo you fucking won’t. I’m not letting you spend myyyyyy money on cabs. You can walk, you faaaaat coooow.” Then there’s mooing noises in the background.
I have a boyfriend who loves me, and he said he didn’t cheat on me. His family has kindly taken me in because he loves me. I have a job to come back to. Clothes, food, and shelter. I really don’t have anything to complain about at all.
She still thinks so after all the shit above! Girl, you need a psychological help now! You are as crazy as this this family. And I am done with you and your shit!
In the beginning, I pitied this girls, I sympathized with her. The longer things went the more I hated her for letting all this shit happen to her, for accepting more abuse when it could've been avoided or stopped, for not standing and defending herself. She acted stupid and the whole book and characters felt underdeveloped, unrealistic to me. I don't feel sorry for anyone in this book any longer. I just can't stand to read it further and feel really angry at the book and the author. This book made me thick. I don't hate it, I just don't accept it. The heroine made the same mistakes over and over again, I don't care any longer whether she'll find a happy ending or if she deserves one. The topic of abuse is hard as it is, this book made it impossible for me to accept it the way this story showed it to a reader.
November 20, 2021
UGLY IS LIVE
Amazon US: http://amzn.com/B016Y7ZU1G
Amazon UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B016Y7ZU1G
Amazon AUS: http://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B016Y7ZU1G
B&N: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/ugly-...…
iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/au/book/ugly...
Trailer: link:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szh5J...
**For warning**
Women who have been brought up to respect themselves and assert their independence think it's simple. Just walk out. But when your partner controls all the resources and you have been cut off from friends and family (if you have any), where do you go? What do you use for rent? For food? Shame and fear of judgement keep you from telling anyone what you've experienced. Fear of your partner keeps you from demanding better treatment.
Fear becomes your constant companion. Your life is governed by artificial rules set by your partner, which may change at a moment's notice. The rules are reinforced by brutal beatings and other physical abuse. You cling to the small kindnesses your partner may allow you. They tell you that whatever you suffer, it's your fault; you've brought it upon yourself.
Put yourself in the shoes of an abuse victim. Forget your bank accounts, your credit cards, your home and car. All you have are the clothes on your back. Where do you go for help? And what do you tell people when you ask for it? How will they react? You will be humiliated, there is no question of that. You will still live by someone else's rules. And if you're lucky, your partner won't find you before you get back on your feet.
You will need to work, and chances are you haven't been allowed enough education to qualify for more than clerking at a retail outlet. You cringe every time the door opens, afraid your partner will be the next person through the door, afraid they've finally found you and that this time, they may beat you to death.
The scenario is even worse if there are children involved. Think about how you would react in this situation. Can you understand how a family history of abuse can lead to future generations of abusive cycles? I'm not asking you to feel sympathy, although it would be difficult not to. I'm asking you to remember, abuse survivors have spent their time in hell. If you judge a survivor for living, then you're judgement is misplaced.
When you read Ugly, think about your loving family, and the support you have from them. And remember, Lily is not like you.
I feel him walking around the house. The floorboards creak, moving with his footsteps. Vibrations are traveling through the floor to where I’m sitting. I close my eyes tighter, and try and hum as quietly as I can.
Please go away, Daddy. Please go away.
My heart is beating fast, and my hands are shaking. I’m trying really hard not to think about what’s going to happen the minute he opens the door.
It’s so quiet now. The only sound is my heart thrumming in my ears. Nothing else. Not a whisper, not a rattle…nothing.
Maybe Daddy’s left, maybe he’s gone to the pub to have a few drinks. Maybe, just maybe, he’s left…forever.
I take a deep breath and just relax for a moment. My shoulders drop and I finally stop rocking. Slowly, I take my hands down from my ears, and I’m so happy because I can’t hear him yelling at me. I can’t hear him at all.
Gradually I begin to unscrunch my eyes from the way I’ve tightly closed them. But something’s not right. There’s light coming into the cupboard.
I don’t even get a chance to open my eyes fully when a rough hand reaches in, latches onto my ponytail and rips me out of the cupboard.
“I told you it’d be worse for you if I had to find you,” Dad says as he drags me by my hair. I’m desperately trying to hold onto my head so he doesn’t rip my hair out, while my feet try to find traction on the dirty floorboards.
“Please, Daddy. Please. You’re hurting me,” I begin sobbing, pleading with him to stop.
“Then your ugly ass should’ve come when I called you. You stupid bitch, you’re a fucking worthless, ugly idiot,” he says. But now his voice is calm as he continues to drag me toward the family room.
That’s when he’s most scary. When his voice is low and his eyes are filled with hate. He throws me against the side of the sofa and takes a step back to look at me.
I look up and can see he’s angrier than I’ve ever seen him. “You dumb, ugly piece of shit,” he says as he paces back and forth in front of me.
“Sorry, Daddy. Whatever I did, I’m so sorry.” I curl into myself, defensively trying to make myself as small as possible.
“You’re just fucking stupid, aren’t you?” he spits toward me, as he brings his hand up to scratch at his chin.
“I’m sorry,” I say again, tears falling hot and fast down my cheeks. My head hurts from where he pulled my hair but I don’t dare try and rub the spot.
“You ugly fuck.” He aims a boot at my leg. The pain is instant and my leg feels like it’s shattered.
“Please, Daddy,” I beg again as I bury my face into my hands. But ‘please’ never seems to work.
Nothing does.
I’ve just got to take the beatings, because that’s what stupid, ugly twelve-year old girls do.
Amazon US: http://amzn.com/B016Y7ZU1G
Amazon UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B016Y7ZU1G
Amazon AUS: http://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B016Y7ZU1G
B&N: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/ugly-...…
iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/au/book/ugly...
Trailer: link:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szh5J...
**For warning**
Women who have been brought up to respect themselves and assert their independence think it's simple. Just walk out. But when your partner controls all the resources and you have been cut off from friends and family (if you have any), where do you go? What do you use for rent? For food? Shame and fear of judgement keep you from telling anyone what you've experienced. Fear of your partner keeps you from demanding better treatment.
Fear becomes your constant companion. Your life is governed by artificial rules set by your partner, which may change at a moment's notice. The rules are reinforced by brutal beatings and other physical abuse. You cling to the small kindnesses your partner may allow you. They tell you that whatever you suffer, it's your fault; you've brought it upon yourself.
Put yourself in the shoes of an abuse victim. Forget your bank accounts, your credit cards, your home and car. All you have are the clothes on your back. Where do you go for help? And what do you tell people when you ask for it? How will they react? You will be humiliated, there is no question of that. You will still live by someone else's rules. And if you're lucky, your partner won't find you before you get back on your feet.
You will need to work, and chances are you haven't been allowed enough education to qualify for more than clerking at a retail outlet. You cringe every time the door opens, afraid your partner will be the next person through the door, afraid they've finally found you and that this time, they may beat you to death.
The scenario is even worse if there are children involved. Think about how you would react in this situation. Can you understand how a family history of abuse can lead to future generations of abusive cycles? I'm not asking you to feel sympathy, although it would be difficult not to. I'm asking you to remember, abuse survivors have spent their time in hell. If you judge a survivor for living, then you're judgement is misplaced.
When you read Ugly, think about your loving family, and the support you have from them. And remember, Lily is not like you.
I feel him walking around the house. The floorboards creak, moving with his footsteps. Vibrations are traveling through the floor to where I’m sitting. I close my eyes tighter, and try and hum as quietly as I can.
Please go away, Daddy. Please go away.
My heart is beating fast, and my hands are shaking. I’m trying really hard not to think about what’s going to happen the minute he opens the door.
It’s so quiet now. The only sound is my heart thrumming in my ears. Nothing else. Not a whisper, not a rattle…nothing.
Maybe Daddy’s left, maybe he’s gone to the pub to have a few drinks. Maybe, just maybe, he’s left…forever.
I take a deep breath and just relax for a moment. My shoulders drop and I finally stop rocking. Slowly, I take my hands down from my ears, and I’m so happy because I can’t hear him yelling at me. I can’t hear him at all.
Gradually I begin to unscrunch my eyes from the way I’ve tightly closed them. But something’s not right. There’s light coming into the cupboard.
I don’t even get a chance to open my eyes fully when a rough hand reaches in, latches onto my ponytail and rips me out of the cupboard.
“I told you it’d be worse for you if I had to find you,” Dad says as he drags me by my hair. I’m desperately trying to hold onto my head so he doesn’t rip my hair out, while my feet try to find traction on the dirty floorboards.
“Please, Daddy. Please. You’re hurting me,” I begin sobbing, pleading with him to stop.
“Then your ugly ass should’ve come when I called you. You stupid bitch, you’re a fucking worthless, ugly idiot,” he says. But now his voice is calm as he continues to drag me toward the family room.
That’s when he’s most scary. When his voice is low and his eyes are filled with hate. He throws me against the side of the sofa and takes a step back to look at me.
I look up and can see he’s angrier than I’ve ever seen him. “You dumb, ugly piece of shit,” he says as he paces back and forth in front of me.
“Sorry, Daddy. Whatever I did, I’m so sorry.” I curl into myself, defensively trying to make myself as small as possible.
“You’re just fucking stupid, aren’t you?” he spits toward me, as he brings his hand up to scratch at his chin.
“I’m sorry,” I say again, tears falling hot and fast down my cheeks. My head hurts from where he pulled my hair but I don’t dare try and rub the spot.
“You ugly fuck.” He aims a boot at my leg. The pain is instant and my leg feels like it’s shattered.
“Please, Daddy,” I beg again as I bury my face into my hands. But ‘please’ never seems to work.
Nothing does.
I’ve just got to take the beatings, because that’s what stupid, ugly twelve-year old girls do.
October 17, 2015
I love books with messages. This book gives us lessons. Be strong. Stand up for yourself. Never doubt you are worthy of love. Never let anyone make you believe you are anything but precious.
Lily's story touched me. Abused. Hurt. Abandoned. She was a pawn for quite a while. Her father did not care. He hurt her. Her first love used her as well until she was broken. A teenage girl with no future gives us a great lesson in strength and humility.
The book very tastefully handles heavy themes of abuse and domestic violence. It gives us a good glimpse of the good and evil of our world. It shows us what brainwashing and manipulation can do. It shows us that love can conquer everything in the end. I think it is a book that gives hope and I really believe that it is an eye opener.
The characters were simply breathtaking. Even the villains. Lily didn't know anything but fear and humiliation. She learned to believe that she was ugly and worthless. She learned to accept that everything wrong with the people around her was her fault. I cannot blame her for believing that she deserved her father's-and later, her husband's- cruelty. I understood her. I was hurting alongside her. Her story spoke to me. The author did a great job showing us the results of Lily's emotional abuse. Excellent job.
Do not miss this book. It will probably make you sad, but it will also give you hope.
+++++5 Stars!!!+++++
ARC provideed by the author in exchange for an honest review.
Lily's story touched me. Abused. Hurt. Abandoned. She was a pawn for quite a while. Her father did not care. He hurt her. Her first love used her as well until she was broken. A teenage girl with no future gives us a great lesson in strength and humility.
The book very tastefully handles heavy themes of abuse and domestic violence. It gives us a good glimpse of the good and evil of our world. It shows us what brainwashing and manipulation can do. It shows us that love can conquer everything in the end. I think it is a book that gives hope and I really believe that it is an eye opener.
The characters were simply breathtaking. Even the villains. Lily didn't know anything but fear and humiliation. She learned to believe that she was ugly and worthless. She learned to accept that everything wrong with the people around her was her fault. I cannot blame her for believing that she deserved her father's-and later, her husband's- cruelty. I understood her. I was hurting alongside her. Her story spoke to me. The author did a great job showing us the results of Lily's emotional abuse. Excellent job.
Do not miss this book. It will probably make you sad, but it will also give you hope.
+++++5 Stars!!!+++++
ARC provideed by the author in exchange for an honest review.
March 25, 2022
This was a difficult read. Coercive control to the max by abusive males.
First it was her father verbally, emotionally and physically abusing her, then her boyfriend, who 'rescued' her from her father, then he became even worse, but interspersed with 'nice to her'. Lily hardly realised the abuse she is getting because she believes it is her fault and that she is ugly and stupid. Lucky to have such a handsome boyfiend. Early on when she decides to leave the relationship at her friend Shayne's urging, there is hope, but alas he entices her back.
I'm guessing it may end before the end of the book and there will be some sort of redemption, but at nearly half way, Lily staying with this horrible human being for several years, I just did not care anymore. This stuff happens and it is horrible, I just had enough of it to finish.
DNF 43%
First it was her father verbally, emotionally and physically abusing her, then her boyfriend, who 'rescued' her from her father, then he became even worse, but interspersed with 'nice to her'. Lily hardly realised the abuse she is getting because she believes it is her fault and that she is ugly and stupid. Lucky to have such a handsome boyfiend. Early on when she decides to leave the relationship at her friend Shayne's urging, there is hope, but alas he entices her back.
I'm guessing it may end before the end of the book and there will be some sort of redemption, but at nearly half way, Lily staying with this horrible human being for several years, I just did not care anymore. This stuff happens and it is horrible, I just had enough of it to finish.
DNF 43%
January 24, 2016
This had potential, but fizzled out quickly for me. It's a pet-peeve of mine when a book's title is over used within the contents of the book...I mean, come on! How many times can we hear the word "ugly" in a row here?!
The characters were all flat. I get that this is a tough subject, but there was no depth given to any of the scenes or any chances for the characters to be brought to a level of understanding where I would care about them.
And the ending was just meh. Far fetched and pretty cliché, it left me feeling a little....pissed off. Where was the struggle and development? Nope - just a *poof* all better now. Not how it works for real survivors of abuse.
Best part: a beautiful cover
The characters were all flat. I get that this is a tough subject, but there was no depth given to any of the scenes or any chances for the characters to be brought to a level of understanding where I would care about them.
And the ending was just meh. Far fetched and pretty cliché, it left me feeling a little....pissed off. Where was the struggle and development? Nope - just a *poof* all better now. Not how it works for real survivors of abuse.
Best part: a beautiful cover
May 6, 2016
Also available on the WondrousBooks blog.
To be honest, I feel somewhat guilty when I give a low rating to a book addressing issues as serious as these, like Ugly or This Is Where It Ends. But the thing is, with both of these books I have this nasty feeling that the topic has been milked. As far as Ugly goes, however, my main issue was not with the idea of the book, but rather with the writing style of the author.
First of all, I want to say something about the topic of Ugly: domestic violence is something horrible which should be analyzed and media of all kinds, including literature and the subsequent interviews and ad campaigns, should play part in in spreading the word against domestic violence and about its results. BUT, with Ugly, domestic violence seemed like a way to draw the reader's attention to an otherwise sloppily and childishly written book. The author's vocabulary is obviously lacking, because the word "ugly" was mentioned virtually in every single chapter and, a lot of the time, on every single page or even twice a page. The second thing, that actually annoyed me to unbelievable lengths was the constant use of the word "tummy". You really can't be serious. Out of all of the times where the characters were discussing stomachs, the actual word "stomach" was mentioned only once as far as I remember. And some of the instances of "tummy" were from a 25+ year old woman. If you still aren't convinced:
On the character of Lilly, I can say many things, but the essential one is that despite all of the domestic violence which could, in a way, explain it, I still find it weird that she is so childish and mentally underdeveloped and yet miraculously she is suddenly capable of surviving pretty well in the adult world. I'm not even sure what the intention of the author was in writing her character, but I could not take her seriously and, to be honest, she was a bit stupid. McHeyzer would have you believe that Lilly, somewhere out of the picture, is pure genius, all of the other characters are smitten with her intellect and her capabilities and even though she was not studying medicine, she could do her husband's homework. But out of the actual events which we followed and in which she had to act smart, she was such an idiot (for those who have read it already, I can give the events after she bought the shoes as an example). So you can't really convince me she was some kind of an academic prodigy.
And then there was the stark contrast between the positive and negative characters. There was no moral ambiguity to any character, they were either completely over-idealized and like they was coming from a romance novel and not this "serious" domestic violence book: the goody-two-shoes cheerful best friend, the funny brotherly figure, the Mr. Right; or completely demonized: abusive father, dead mother always creeping somewhere in the back of her subconsciousness, monster husband. I'm not even sure these two sets of characters belong in the same book. They were too black/white to support the same story because there was no in-between space for character development in the terms of the book.
The writing of Ugly, in my opinion, was too complicated a task and especially so for the author's style. She was torn between a serious topic and overly simple and childish writing style which lead to constant repetitions of not only words and sentences but entire events. And most of all, the ending was not convincing and totally unrealistic for the character of Lilly, which is also a bit of a let-down.
Therefore, if you are neither a fan of violence, nor of bad writing, you should stay away from Ugly.
To be honest, I feel somewhat guilty when I give a low rating to a book addressing issues as serious as these, like Ugly or This Is Where It Ends. But the thing is, with both of these books I have this nasty feeling that the topic has been milked. As far as Ugly goes, however, my main issue was not with the idea of the book, but rather with the writing style of the author.
First of all, I want to say something about the topic of Ugly: domestic violence is something horrible which should be analyzed and media of all kinds, including literature and the subsequent interviews and ad campaigns, should play part in in spreading the word against domestic violence and about its results. BUT, with Ugly, domestic violence seemed like a way to draw the reader's attention to an otherwise sloppily and childishly written book. The author's vocabulary is obviously lacking, because the word "ugly" was mentioned virtually in every single chapter and, a lot of the time, on every single page or even twice a page. The second thing, that actually annoyed me to unbelievable lengths was the constant use of the word "tummy". You really can't be serious. Out of all of the times where the characters were discussing stomachs, the actual word "stomach" was mentioned only once as far as I remember. And some of the instances of "tummy" were from a 25+ year old woman. If you still aren't convinced:
"Lilly Anderson, get your ugly ass out here..."
"I don't remember much about her, except I remember her telling me how ugly I am."
"Then your ugly ass should've come when I called you, you stupid bitch. You're fucking worthless, you ugly idiot."
"At least it'll be something in my tummy..."
"Right now though, my tummy takes precedence over the bag."
"I can't fit any more in my tummy."
"He leans down and kisses my ever-growing tummy."
On the character of Lilly, I can say many things, but the essential one is that despite all of the domestic violence which could, in a way, explain it, I still find it weird that she is so childish and mentally underdeveloped and yet miraculously she is suddenly capable of surviving pretty well in the adult world. I'm not even sure what the intention of the author was in writing her character, but I could not take her seriously and, to be honest, she was a bit stupid. McHeyzer would have you believe that Lilly, somewhere out of the picture, is pure genius, all of the other characters are smitten with her intellect and her capabilities and even though she was not studying medicine, she could do her husband's homework. But out of the actual events which we followed and in which she had to act smart, she was such an idiot (for those who have read it already, I can give the events after she bought the shoes as an example). So you can't really convince me she was some kind of an academic prodigy.
And then there was the stark contrast between the positive and negative characters. There was no moral ambiguity to any character, they were either completely over-idealized and like they was coming from a romance novel and not this "serious" domestic violence book: the goody-two-shoes cheerful best friend, the funny brotherly figure, the Mr. Right; or completely demonized: abusive father, dead mother always creeping somewhere in the back of her subconsciousness, monster husband. I'm not even sure these two sets of characters belong in the same book. They were too black/white to support the same story because there was no in-between space for character development in the terms of the book.
The writing of Ugly, in my opinion, was too complicated a task and especially so for the author's style. She was torn between a serious topic and overly simple and childish writing style which lead to constant repetitions of not only words and sentences but entire events. And most of all, the ending was not convincing and totally unrealistic for the character of Lilly, which is also a bit of a let-down.
Therefore, if you are neither a fan of violence, nor of bad writing, you should stay away from Ugly.
July 26, 2016
I was lucky enough to be given an ARC for this book before release. All I can say is WOW, this book blew me away. Lily's story will pull at your heart strings, no scrap that, it will crush your heart, make it bleed. This story is not for the faint hearted. My heart broke for Lily right from the very first page, and every page after, as her story unfolded. I felt a wide range of emotions while reading Ugly. Sadness, heartache, anger, pure-f@cking-rage. There were times I wanted reached into the book and not only hug Lily and tell her she was beautiful and nothing like the perception she had of herself, but I also wanted to strangle the men that continued to taunt and abuse her. What she endures as a child by the hands of her father, and again later in life, by the man that is supposed to love her... Truly shocking and disgusting. No words can describe how much this story gutted me. I sat on the sideline, silently rooting for Lily, praying she'd find the strength to escape the horrible situation she was in. Praying she'd find happiness. Praying she'd find someone that would love her the way she deserved. Someone to show her she was worthy, beautiful, and nothing like the person she was led to believe she was, by the monsters she had lived with for most of her life.
I have read a few of Margaret's other books prior to this one. Can I say this story, is nothing like the previous work. Being YA genre, the sexual content, and coarse language is minimal, (I know right) but what it lacks in that department, it certainly makes up for in the drama, dynamics and the message surrounding this beautifully heartbreaking and realistic story. It will have you on the edge of your seat, and you won't be able to put it down until the very end. Margaret's writing, as always, if flawless. She has a wonderful gift of being able to tell a unique, realistic and mesmerising story. Grab this baby, you won't regret it. A huge 5 STARS.
I have read a few of Margaret's other books prior to this one. Can I say this story, is nothing like the previous work. Being YA genre, the sexual content, and coarse language is minimal, (I know right) but what it lacks in that department, it certainly makes up for in the drama, dynamics and the message surrounding this beautifully heartbreaking and realistic story. It will have you on the edge of your seat, and you won't be able to put it down until the very end. Margaret's writing, as always, if flawless. She has a wonderful gift of being able to tell a unique, realistic and mesmerising story. Grab this baby, you won't regret it. A huge 5 STARS.
April 26, 2021
This book is dark. I know, you would assume that from the cover (a picture of a girl literally crying) and the title (not exactly upbeat) and even the synopsis. But I’ve been reading a lot of books like these, and I have to say that this one is darker than the rest. The novel is categorized as a romance, and while there are romantic elements, I would say that the book is more about a girl learning to love herself. Sure, Max plays a role in that, but his role is much less significant than that of the love interest in other similar books.
Because this doesn’t quite read like a romance, I do want to say that the romance was lacking. Max was sweet, but I don’t feel like we get to know him well. We don’t meet him right away (which is fine! I like getting to know the heroine before the Hero is introduced), but the author needed to make up for this by spending more time on his backstory, motivations, quirks, likes and dislikes, etc.
*The rest of this review has spoilers! Read onward at your own peril*
A lot of reviews of this book comment on how the heroine shouldn’t have been so naive and trusting of Travis. I don’t necessarily agree with this. I do think that she was so emotionally troubled that she was desperate for any form of love--no matter how twisted (and obviously toxic) it might have been. That said, with what she goes through, the “final straw” so to speak, what makes her finally leave him, is a little unbelievable. He’s literally beaten her into miscarriages five times yet when he beats her that final time, a flip completely switches. I think the problem is that there needed to be a more gradual realization that she needed to leave, exacerbated by the beatings, and then the final push when he gets her hospitalized for the last time.
It’s also a tad unrealistic that he lets her go, and we never see him again after she leaves him, even though she doesn’t go very far (she’s still working at the same place and living at her best friend’s house). A controlling man like that wouldn’t have let her go without at least a threat or three to not tell anyone about what she has gone through.
Because this doesn’t quite read like a romance, I do want to say that the romance was lacking. Max was sweet, but I don’t feel like we get to know him well. We don’t meet him right away (which is fine! I like getting to know the heroine before the Hero is introduced), but the author needed to make up for this by spending more time on his backstory, motivations, quirks, likes and dislikes, etc.
*The rest of this review has spoilers! Read onward at your own peril*
A lot of reviews of this book comment on how the heroine shouldn’t have been so naive and trusting of Travis. I don’t necessarily agree with this. I do think that she was so emotionally troubled that she was desperate for any form of love--no matter how twisted (and obviously toxic) it might have been. That said, with what she goes through, the “final straw” so to speak, what makes her finally leave him, is a little unbelievable. He’s literally beaten her into miscarriages five times yet when he beats her that final time, a flip completely switches. I think the problem is that there needed to be a more gradual realization that she needed to leave, exacerbated by the beatings, and then the final push when he gets her hospitalized for the last time.
It’s also a tad unrealistic that he lets her go, and we never see him again after she leaves him, even though she doesn’t go very far (she’s still working at the same place and living at her best friend’s house). A controlling man like that wouldn’t have let her go without at least a threat or three to not tell anyone about what she has gone through.
July 31, 2017
2 Stars
Overall Opinion: I think this had some potential, but sadly failed. I like a good angsty read every once and I while, and I couldn't connect enough with the characters to get emotional. I was bored. I had so many unanswered questions at the end, but at that point I was ready to be done because I had put off putting it on my dnf shelf for a while. For a positive -- the epilogue was cute.
Brief Summary of the Storyline: This is Lily's (and Max) story. We meet Lilly when she is a senior in high school. She is living with her physically and verbally abusive Dad. She meets Trent and he seems like a white knight for her, but starting as early as their first date some things just don't seem right with him. She gets trapped into being with him, and eventually marries him. He is a monster. His family (minus his mother) are monsters. There are some time jumps, and we see Lily when she is really struggling in her marriage and meets Max. Max has a personal history with domestic violence, and they form a friendship of sorts. They eventually fall in love and get their HEA.
POV: This was told in Lily's POV.
Overall Pace of Story: Not so great. I skimmed a good bit at some parts. I'm used to the book format of having there be some drama here and there and then BOOM you have your big conflict at about 75% in the book that has the rest of the 25% to get resolution -- and it wasn't in that type of format. I do like things mixed up once in a while by authors, but I felt like we hit the ground running and then we slowed down to a crawl. I get it -- the h needed to heal from all her past trauma. But I almost put it on my dnf shelf at about 80% which I HATE to do, and it didn't get much better.
Instalove: No, though the H claims it was pretty instant later on.
H rating: 3 stars. Max. I liked how patient he was, but he was kind of boring tbh.
h rating: 3 stars. Lily. She's had a crap hand in life, but she still has a nice personality that works hard to earn better for herself. I did feel bad for her circumstances, but otherwise she was kind of meh.
Sadness level: Moderate. I didn't feel all that connected with our h, so I think that Preventted me from getting too emotional on her behalf. I can see where someone might though.
Heat level: Low. Not a sexy book.
Descriptive sex: No. I wouldn't necessarily call it "fade to black", but it just has basic descriptions instead of detailed accounts.
Safe sex: Some mentions of birth control, and some interactions that don't mention it.
OW/OM drama: The h is married to an abusive jerk when she meets the H.
Sex scene with OW or OM:
Cheating:
Possible Triggers:
Closure: The ending did have a cute epilogue with some closure that gave the couple a HEA ending.
How I got it: I paid $3.99 on Amazon for it.
Overall Opinion: I think this had some potential, but sadly failed. I like a good angsty read every once and I while, and I couldn't connect enough with the characters to get emotional. I was bored. I had so many unanswered questions at the end, but at that point I was ready to be done because I had put off putting it on my dnf shelf for a while. For a positive -- the epilogue was cute.
Brief Summary of the Storyline: This is Lily's (and Max) story. We meet Lilly when she is a senior in high school. She is living with her physically and verbally abusive Dad. She meets Trent and he seems like a white knight for her, but starting as early as their first date some things just don't seem right with him. She gets trapped into being with him, and eventually marries him. He is a monster. His family (minus his mother) are monsters. There are some time jumps, and we see Lily when she is really struggling in her marriage and meets Max. Max has a personal history with domestic violence, and they form a friendship of sorts. They eventually fall in love and get their HEA.
POV: This was told in Lily's POV.
Overall Pace of Story: Not so great. I skimmed a good bit at some parts. I'm used to the book format of having there be some drama here and there and then BOOM you have your big conflict at about 75% in the book that has the rest of the 25% to get resolution -- and it wasn't in that type of format. I do like things mixed up once in a while by authors, but I felt like we hit the ground running and then we slowed down to a crawl. I get it -- the h needed to heal from all her past trauma. But I almost put it on my dnf shelf at about 80% which I HATE to do, and it didn't get much better.
Instalove: No, though the H claims it was pretty instant later on.
H rating: 3 stars. Max. I liked how patient he was, but he was kind of boring tbh.
h rating: 3 stars. Lily. She's had a crap hand in life, but she still has a nice personality that works hard to earn better for herself. I did feel bad for her circumstances, but otherwise she was kind of meh.
Sadness level: Moderate. I didn't feel all that connected with our h, so I think that Preventted me from getting too emotional on her behalf. I can see where someone might though.
Heat level: Low. Not a sexy book.
Descriptive sex: No. I wouldn't necessarily call it "fade to black", but it just has basic descriptions instead of detailed accounts.
Safe sex: Some mentions of birth control, and some interactions that don't mention it.
OW/OM drama: The h is married to an abusive jerk when she meets the H.
Sex scene with OW or OM:
Cheating:
Possible Triggers:
Closure: The ending did have a cute epilogue with some closure that gave the couple a HEA ending.
How I got it: I paid $3.99 on Amazon for it.
November 21, 2015
Well.. Damn. This was good.
UGLY isn't your classical love story. No. Not even close. It's dark and deep. It takes us inside woman's head who's been abused her whole life. It starts when she's still a teenager and her father beats her and verbally insults her. She goes days without food because he can't be bothered to buy it.
Then Trent came to the picture and I thought "good, he'll save her and proctect her from her father". He seems to do just that. For a while.. Trent seems perfect. He's patient, he's smiling, he's gentle, he's making Lily smile and he makes her feel protected. But there are cracks in his behaviour. He's angry, violent, jelaous, obsessive. And then I realized that he's a fucking psycho. He's manipulative and makes your skin crawl.
But Lily doesn't see that. Not really. She knows that he doesn't really treat her right but she never knew anything else and was always told that she's ungly and not worthy. So she thinks that she's lucky enough that Trent wants her.
She marries him and stays with him for several years. His behaviour towars her is getting worse and she still makes excuses for him and blames herself. She writes everything in a diary. And when Trent sends her to hospital with concusion she meets an angel there. She meets Max.
This book is an excellent example of what is really going through a mind of someone who's been abused for a long time. How they stop believeing in themselves, how they doubt themselves, how they blame themselves, how they think they do not deserve to be treated better way and how they really view themselves and their abusers.
It also shows that you can overcome everything if you try hard enough, that when you don't give up you can achieve happiness and when you are patient you don't even have to look really hard for the right person. You just have to look in the right direction.
This book isn't about being abused. It's about second chances. It's not about being weak. It's about being strong. It's not about pain. It's about love - not for someone else, but for yourself. Because that's where the healing starts. It starts and ends with you. You have to be the one who wants to get better, otherwise it's not going to happen. And that's what Lily does. She loves herself enought to heal.
The ending was simply perfect.
For more reviews visit my blog
*ARC courtesy of publisher via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review*
UGLY isn't your classical love story. No. Not even close. It's dark and deep. It takes us inside woman's head who's been abused her whole life. It starts when she's still a teenager and her father beats her and verbally insults her. She goes days without food because he can't be bothered to buy it.
Then Trent came to the picture and I thought "good, he'll save her and proctect her from her father". He seems to do just that. For a while.. Trent seems perfect. He's patient, he's smiling, he's gentle, he's making Lily smile and he makes her feel protected. But there are cracks in his behaviour. He's angry, violent, jelaous, obsessive. And then I realized that he's a fucking psycho. He's manipulative and makes your skin crawl.
But Lily doesn't see that. Not really. She knows that he doesn't really treat her right but she never knew anything else and was always told that she's ungly and not worthy. So she thinks that she's lucky enough that Trent wants her.
She marries him and stays with him for several years. His behaviour towars her is getting worse and she still makes excuses for him and blames herself. She writes everything in a diary. And when Trent sends her to hospital with concusion she meets an angel there. She meets Max.
This book is an excellent example of what is really going through a mind of someone who's been abused for a long time. How they stop believeing in themselves, how they doubt themselves, how they blame themselves, how they think they do not deserve to be treated better way and how they really view themselves and their abusers.
It also shows that you can overcome everything if you try hard enough, that when you don't give up you can achieve happiness and when you are patient you don't even have to look really hard for the right person. You just have to look in the right direction.
This book isn't about being abused. It's about second chances. It's not about being weak. It's about being strong. It's not about pain. It's about love - not for someone else, but for yourself. Because that's where the healing starts. It starts and ends with you. You have to be the one who wants to get better, otherwise it's not going to happen. And that's what Lily does. She loves herself enought to heal.
The ending was simply perfect.
For more reviews visit my blog
*ARC courtesy of publisher via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review*
Want to read
February 1, 2016
***ARC kindly provided via NetGalley for the exchange of an honest review***
July 6, 2020
MM has opened her chest and showed us her heart in this story. It's a sobfest from the word go. It squeezes out every tear of frustration and every cry for help from Lily Anderson and ME. The people in her life which were supposed to love her unconditionally and shelter her from all the evils of the world, become monsters and trap her in the tower of torture & abuse. The sharp blades of slurs and criticism ripped MY soul to shreds. All the slaps and punches rained down upon ME!
This story has hit too close for comfort for me and brought back some UGLY memories of my own. I don't know if Margaret deserves applause or brickbats for this experience.
The character of Lily is an object of ridicule and neglect. Her painful journey through her formative years and subsequent married life is stuff nightmares are made of. The Words:
You're UGLY
you're Worthless
are molten lead poured in her ears constantly, till they burn grooves in her soul.
The story is all too real and exhausting for my poor achy, break heart, but I persist.
Lily staggers under the weight of All the debasement and affliction. I prayed and pleaded for her to find her legs and walk out. She very slowly finds her mettle and starts to stand up shakily and take a few hesitant steps.her friends and colleagues become her crutches she could lean on and her upward journey to find herself was remarkably courageous.
The pace was slow, the research extensive but I couldn't let go of lily's hand even or a minute. I've been actually lengthening my walks just so I could listen to one more chapter!
Engrossing in agony and hypnotic in salvation, this book will shred your heart like in a wood chipper. Even the stoniest of readers shall be forced to beg for mercy for lily and howl at the injustice of it all.
I won't ever forget Lily or forgive Margaret for making my heart and eyes swell.
A huge bottle of Dom Perignon for the narrator Becka Ballinger, she did an outstanding job of infusing wide range of emotions in her voice. It made the story come alive and it's effect magnified hundredfold.
5 stars for The Emancipation Of Lily
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This story has hit too close for comfort for me and brought back some UGLY memories of my own. I don't know if Margaret deserves applause or brickbats for this experience.
The character of Lily is an object of ridicule and neglect. Her painful journey through her formative years and subsequent married life is stuff nightmares are made of. The Words:
You're UGLY
you're Worthless
are molten lead poured in her ears constantly, till they burn grooves in her soul.
The story is all too real and exhausting for my poor achy, break heart, but I persist.
Lily staggers under the weight of All the debasement and affliction. I prayed and pleaded for her to find her legs and walk out. She very slowly finds her mettle and starts to stand up shakily and take a few hesitant steps.her friends and colleagues become her crutches she could lean on and her upward journey to find herself was remarkably courageous.
The pace was slow, the research extensive but I couldn't let go of lily's hand even or a minute. I've been actually lengthening my walks just so I could listen to one more chapter!
Engrossing in agony and hypnotic in salvation, this book will shred your heart like in a wood chipper. Even the stoniest of readers shall be forced to beg for mercy for lily and howl at the injustice of it all.
I won't ever forget Lily or forgive Margaret for making my heart and eyes swell.
A huge bottle of Dom Perignon for the narrator Becka Ballinger, she did an outstanding job of infusing wide range of emotions in her voice. It made the story come alive and it's effect magnified hundredfold.
5 stars for The Emancipation Of Lily
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June 20, 2016
3.5
Possible spoilers ahead. You have been warned.
I try to stay clear of these type of books. Books that deal with real life issues. I get enough RL as it is. This "spoke to me" and I had to get it. I have never been in a physically abusive relationship, but I have gone thru some verbal/emotional abuse. Nothing as intense as Lily. I know a lot of the reviews call the MC "stupid" and "unrealistic" for staying with her dad and **POSSIBLE SPOILER** Trent. I do not find her stupid at all. I find her realistic. When someone beats you down every single day of your life, guess what, you start believing everything they say to you.
"You know, if you get told enough times how ugly, stupid and useless you are, you tend to believe it."
Lily has been called stupid and dumb every day for years. So yes, she believes she really is stupid and dumb. That is believable. Yes, she could have went off to school far, far away but she didn't. Do you want to know why? SHE THOUGHT THIS WAS NORMAL.
"I haven't grown up in a loving environment. I don't know what it is. I don't understand it."
She has been beat down since she was 9 years old. This is the only type of "love" she knows. This is the only thing that has been shown to her. She doesn't know any better. Trent picked her out because he knew he could abuse her like he did. He knew she was an easy target. He did the exact same thing as her dad. Every single time he would hit her she would say "sorry." It killed me every single time she made an excuse for him.
"You are not responsible for his behavior."
I can see why some other reviewers called Lily "stupid" and "annoying". She doubts everything she does. She has no type of confidence in herself and the word ugly is mentioned like a trillion times. I'm still trying to figure out how some people say this book isn't realistic enough since it didn't play out a certain way or “feel like” a situation someone they knew went thru. That is bullshit to me. Sorry this book isn’t exactly like your friends or whoever experience. Maybe your friend got out earlier? Good for her. Don’t downplay ANYONES’ abuse.
"He put me through hell, brainwashed me, and kept me prisoner in my own mind by convincing me I was worthless."
The first half of the book was tough. My heart went out to her. There are a few times when I wanted to knock some sense into her! She met some amazing people on her journey. People who showed her what love really was.
"You see, Lily. Domestic abuse touches everyone, and when I know it's touched someone who's as beautiful a person as you are, I need to help. For my daughter, for my son in law, for every survivor."
We first meet Lily at 17. We are on a 10 year journey with her. We see her struggles, her failures, and her accomplishments. From her thinking she wasn’t good enough to finally seeing that she is worthy! Worthy of EVERYTHING! Happiness, love and her self!
“I’m sitting here smiling, because for the first time in my life, I have something which was always kept from me. I have control.”
"My whole life I've been surrounded by men who never cared about me for anything more than their own benefit. Now I'm in a sea of gentlemen. They not only care, but they push me to be the best version of myself I can be, without any worry of consequences for them."
The characters in the books were amazing. From Shayne to Liam to Mrs. Hackley. I really want to know what happened to Trent’s mom. Is she ok now? I personally enjoyed her journey, as hard as it was. I loved seeing her grow into the woman she became. The epilogue was so cute! I loved how there was closure for her. She deserved everything she got!
Don't be scared to get help. You are loved and YOU are worthy.
USA hotline: 1 800 799 SAFE (7233)
Australia: 1 800 Respect
U.K 0808 2000 247
Possible spoilers ahead. You have been warned.
I try to stay clear of these type of books. Books that deal with real life issues. I get enough RL as it is. This "spoke to me" and I had to get it. I have never been in a physically abusive relationship, but I have gone thru some verbal/emotional abuse. Nothing as intense as Lily. I know a lot of the reviews call the MC "stupid" and "unrealistic" for staying with her dad and **POSSIBLE SPOILER** Trent. I do not find her stupid at all. I find her realistic. When someone beats you down every single day of your life, guess what, you start believing everything they say to you.
"You know, if you get told enough times how ugly, stupid and useless you are, you tend to believe it."
Lily has been called stupid and dumb every day for years. So yes, she believes she really is stupid and dumb. That is believable. Yes, she could have went off to school far, far away but she didn't. Do you want to know why? SHE THOUGHT THIS WAS NORMAL.
"I haven't grown up in a loving environment. I don't know what it is. I don't understand it."
She has been beat down since she was 9 years old. This is the only type of "love" she knows. This is the only thing that has been shown to her. She doesn't know any better. Trent picked her out because he knew he could abuse her like he did. He knew she was an easy target. He did the exact same thing as her dad. Every single time he would hit her she would say "sorry." It killed me every single time she made an excuse for him.
"You are not responsible for his behavior."
I can see why some other reviewers called Lily "stupid" and "annoying". She doubts everything she does. She has no type of confidence in herself and the word ugly is mentioned like a trillion times. I'm still trying to figure out how some people say this book isn't realistic enough since it didn't play out a certain way or “feel like” a situation someone they knew went thru. That is bullshit to me. Sorry this book isn’t exactly like your friends or whoever experience. Maybe your friend got out earlier? Good for her. Don’t downplay ANYONES’ abuse.
"He put me through hell, brainwashed me, and kept me prisoner in my own mind by convincing me I was worthless."
The first half of the book was tough. My heart went out to her. There are a few times when I wanted to knock some sense into her! She met some amazing people on her journey. People who showed her what love really was.
"You see, Lily. Domestic abuse touches everyone, and when I know it's touched someone who's as beautiful a person as you are, I need to help. For my daughter, for my son in law, for every survivor."
We first meet Lily at 17. We are on a 10 year journey with her. We see her struggles, her failures, and her accomplishments. From her thinking she wasn’t good enough to finally seeing that she is worthy! Worthy of EVERYTHING! Happiness, love and her self!
“I’m sitting here smiling, because for the first time in my life, I have something which was always kept from me. I have control.”
"My whole life I've been surrounded by men who never cared about me for anything more than their own benefit. Now I'm in a sea of gentlemen. They not only care, but they push me to be the best version of myself I can be, without any worry of consequences for them."
The characters in the books were amazing. From Shayne to Liam to Mrs. Hackley. I really want to know what happened to Trent’s mom. Is she ok now? I personally enjoyed her journey, as hard as it was. I loved seeing her grow into the woman she became. The epilogue was so cute! I loved how there was closure for her. She deserved everything she got!
Don't be scared to get help. You are loved and YOU are worthy.
USA hotline: 1 800 799 SAFE (7233)
Australia: 1 800 Respect
U.K 0808 2000 247
February 14, 2016
What this book is about:
In this story we follow Lily, an almost 18-year-old girl who lives with her abusive (physically and mentally) father. Her mother died some years ago and all Lily has learned from her father is how ugly, incapable, stupid and insignificant she is. On her way back from school one day, she meets a guy named Trent who is the first person ever to tell her she is beautiful. After a particularly nasty night at her father's house when he was drunk and beat her to unconsciousness, Trent comes to the rescue and brings her to his home to live with his parents. But something is not right about Trent and his family and Lily soon discovers the ugly (see what I did there?) truth about Trent and his father.
I've said it before and I will say it again. I don't think that there is a book out there for which the author hasn't worked really hard and spent a lot of his/her time making it happen. So it's very unpleasant for me when I have to give a bad (or negative) review. This book was especially hard to comment on, since it deals with the very delicate issue of domestic violence and abuse in the family context. That said, Ugly contains a lot of graphic scenes of violence, sexual abuse and foul language, so this is something to keep in mind before going into this story.
First of all, I am not an expert in any way on the topic of domestic violence and the opinions that I express in this review are my thoughts on the specific book and do not extend to the very serious and real subject of abuse. That said, one thing I liked about Ugly and I appreciated, was that the author tried to show the effects of the constant psychological abuse on the cognitive schemas of the victim, Lily. How when her father keeps telling her that she is ugly and doesn't deserve anything, she ends up believing it. How she feels powerless to take her fate into her own hands. How she manipulates her own mind into believing that she deserves being treated like trash and that it's all her fault. This is called "learned helplessness" and can be observed in many victims of domestic abuse who feel like they cannot control anything bad that happens to them.
Still, I do have many "complaints", let say, about the story. One of my biggest issues is that the book was way too long and for no good reason. It dragged on and on and the pages were filled with sentences that described how Lilly opened the door, sat on the couch, took the blanket, turned the tv on etc.. Step by step, we had to go through Lilly's precise movements around the house. But why? I actually read an ARC of the book but I believe that in the final version there could be at least 100 pages cut off from the whole story. Sentences like, when someone took a sip of water (I counted at least three of them) or when Lilly went to take a shower (I don't know how many times that happened!) don't need to be included in this novel in my opinion. It slows the story down and it ends up being boring and meaningless after a while. Detailed scenes usually lead to a crescendo where something important or exciting happens, but there was no crescendo after the numerous detailed paragraphs in this book. That was just disappointing over and over again.
Another big issue I had with the story was that many scenes seemed very unrealistic. For example, Lily is constantly told by many strangers and non-strangers how beautiful she is. But in real life, even if you are indeed beautiful, how many people are actually going to approach you and just let you know that they think you are pretty? Moreover, I am not an expert on the statistics of domestic abuse but how is it possible that there are so many different people who are abusers or have been abused in this story? Sounds like a big over-exaggeration to me, going from one abuser to the next again and again.
On the topic of the novel being unrealistic, Lily is a girl who has been malnurished since the tender age of six. The human brain keeps growing until around 21 years of age. I would expect that with the serious malnutrition that Lilly went through, she would experience some cognitive deficits in memory or attention or executive function or something! But no, Lilly is an extremely intelligent and lucky girl apparently, who makes it on her own and has no trouble finding a job in the exact field she loves at the end. Another thing that made me doubt the validity of the story was how nobody seemed to figure out that Lilly was being abused even though a lot of people actually thought that something was up with her. Just doesn't make any sense to me!
Finally, my last comment is on Lily's therapy and how she gets over her 25-year-long abuse. Her therapist was very inappropriate and (again using the word) unrealistic. Isn't the therapist supposed to report abuse to her/his supervisor? I guess the law is different in various countries but still..Moreover, Lilly gets over her issues and moves on with her life way too fast in my opinion. Even though she has been abused her whole life, her faith in men hasn't faltered one bit and her trust in people is quite strong for a victim of such horrible experiences. All in all, even though the therapy aspect of the story could have been a strong part of the book, it felt to me like the psychologist didn't help Lilly at all. She was just a very small character that played a minimal role in the whole recovery story.
To sum up, I was quite disappointed by this book. Unfortunately, I don't have many nice things to say about it. It was just not my type of story and the writing really didn't do it for me. It does have lot of high ratings and reviews though, so probably others will enjoy it more than I did.
I received a free copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
You can check out my book blog if you'd like, here:
In this story we follow Lily, an almost 18-year-old girl who lives with her abusive (physically and mentally) father. Her mother died some years ago and all Lily has learned from her father is how ugly, incapable, stupid and insignificant she is. On her way back from school one day, she meets a guy named Trent who is the first person ever to tell her she is beautiful. After a particularly nasty night at her father's house when he was drunk and beat her to unconsciousness, Trent comes to the rescue and brings her to his home to live with his parents. But something is not right about Trent and his family and Lily soon discovers the ugly (see what I did there?) truth about Trent and his father.
I've said it before and I will say it again. I don't think that there is a book out there for which the author hasn't worked really hard and spent a lot of his/her time making it happen. So it's very unpleasant for me when I have to give a bad (or negative) review. This book was especially hard to comment on, since it deals with the very delicate issue of domestic violence and abuse in the family context. That said, Ugly contains a lot of graphic scenes of violence, sexual abuse and foul language, so this is something to keep in mind before going into this story.
It's days like today I wish I was dead.
First of all, I am not an expert in any way on the topic of domestic violence and the opinions that I express in this review are my thoughts on the specific book and do not extend to the very serious and real subject of abuse. That said, one thing I liked about Ugly and I appreciated, was that the author tried to show the effects of the constant psychological abuse on the cognitive schemas of the victim, Lily. How when her father keeps telling her that she is ugly and doesn't deserve anything, she ends up believing it. How she feels powerless to take her fate into her own hands. How she manipulates her own mind into believing that she deserves being treated like trash and that it's all her fault. This is called "learned helplessness" and can be observed in many victims of domestic abuse who feel like they cannot control anything bad that happens to them.
A storm is brewing. I've known darkness in the past, but this feeling of imminent disaster, of doom, seems right on my doorstep. If I open the door, what will I find?
Still, I do have many "complaints", let say, about the story. One of my biggest issues is that the book was way too long and for no good reason. It dragged on and on and the pages were filled with sentences that described how Lilly opened the door, sat on the couch, took the blanket, turned the tv on etc.. Step by step, we had to go through Lilly's precise movements around the house. But why? I actually read an ARC of the book but I believe that in the final version there could be at least 100 pages cut off from the whole story. Sentences like, when someone took a sip of water (I counted at least three of them) or when Lilly went to take a shower (I don't know how many times that happened!) don't need to be included in this novel in my opinion. It slows the story down and it ends up being boring and meaningless after a while. Detailed scenes usually lead to a crescendo where something important or exciting happens, but there was no crescendo after the numerous detailed paragraphs in this book. That was just disappointing over and over again.
Is it my destiny only to exist and never live? What kind of legacy can a girl who never was leave behind? Never was pretty, never was smart, never was anything?
Another big issue I had with the story was that many scenes seemed very unrealistic. For example, Lily is constantly told by many strangers and non-strangers how beautiful she is. But in real life, even if you are indeed beautiful, how many people are actually going to approach you and just let you know that they think you are pretty? Moreover, I am not an expert on the statistics of domestic abuse but how is it possible that there are so many different people who are abusers or have been abused in this story? Sounds like a big over-exaggeration to me, going from one abuser to the next again and again.
I walk out with just the clothes on my back, and the sandals on my feet. And my freedom.
On the topic of the novel being unrealistic, Lily is a girl who has been malnurished since the tender age of six. The human brain keeps growing until around 21 years of age. I would expect that with the serious malnutrition that Lilly went through, she would experience some cognitive deficits in memory or attention or executive function or something! But no, Lilly is an extremely intelligent and lucky girl apparently, who makes it on her own and has no trouble finding a job in the exact field she loves at the end. Another thing that made me doubt the validity of the story was how nobody seemed to figure out that Lilly was being abused even though a lot of people actually thought that something was up with her. Just doesn't make any sense to me!
I was never meant to live. This isn't a question. This I know absolutely. What's the point of breathing?
Finally, my last comment is on Lily's therapy and how she gets over her 25-year-long abuse. Her therapist was very inappropriate and (again using the word) unrealistic. Isn't the therapist supposed to report abuse to her/his supervisor? I guess the law is different in various countries but still..Moreover, Lilly gets over her issues and moves on with her life way too fast in my opinion. Even though she has been abused her whole life, her faith in men hasn't faltered one bit and her trust in people is quite strong for a victim of such horrible experiences. All in all, even though the therapy aspect of the story could have been a strong part of the book, it felt to me like the psychologist didn't help Lilly at all. She was just a very small character that played a minimal role in the whole recovery story.
To sum up, I was quite disappointed by this book. Unfortunately, I don't have many nice things to say about it. It was just not my type of story and the writing really didn't do it for me. It does have lot of high ratings and reviews though, so probably others will enjoy it more than I did.
I received a free copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
You can check out my book blog if you'd like, here:
November 1, 2015
This book was a difficult read to say the least. The contents of this book makes you cringe, cry, furious and heartbroken. Along with that you also feel strength, hope, love, trust and self discovery.
I loved this book and the journey it took me on. Emotional rollercoaster it definitely is and worth every moment. This book was beautifully written and told. I will say this book is one that I won't forget. Along with Lily, Max and the other characters that stood by Lily in her darkest hours and happiest moments.
I loved this book and the journey it took me on. Emotional rollercoaster it definitely is and worth every moment. This book was beautifully written and told. I will say this book is one that I won't forget. Along with Lily, Max and the other characters that stood by Lily in her darkest hours and happiest moments.
dnf
December 17, 2015DNF at 35%
I hate giving negative reviews. I especially hate giving negative reviews to books that were kindly given to me for free by the author. But that's what it is about in the end, right? My honest opinion.
And honestly, this book just made me angry and depressed. I knew this wasn't going to be a feel-good read. I was expecting and looking forward to something dark, something gritty, something to stir my emotions and make me uncomfortable. And that, it did.
Abuse, whether it be of domestic, sexual or psychological nature, is an extremely precarious subject, but extremely important all the same. Kudos to each and every author out there who dares to leave their comfort zone in order to address an issue like that.
Unfortunately, due to the subject being to sensitive, there's so much that can go wrong.
The worst thing you can do when writing a book about abuse, in my opinion, is to slip into clichés. The characters were one-dimensional stereotypes, void of any real depth, even the heroine herself. All we got was black and white - the abused, weak heroine that had got every last bit of self-respect knocked out of her; the alcoholic, violent and unloving father; the charming and manipulative, but in the end just as evil love interest; the outwardly perfect little family with skeletons in their closet.
However, I've only read about 35%, so there was a lot of room for character development. Maybe, probably, if I'd kept going, I would have witnessed some growth, at least from the heroine, but I just couldn't. I want to be intrigued by the characters I'm reading about, especially the protagonist, in whose head I am. I want to feel some sort of connection, and I just didn't with Lily.
Now, I've never had to deal with abuse of any kind myself, neither first nor second hand, at least not in the intensity the heroine had to put up with. I had a wonderful childhood and only more or less healthy relationships, so I can't even begin to fathom how an abused person's mind works, so I'm trying not to judge the heroine's actions and behavior.
After all, I can see that a child will always and forever be longing for their parents' love and approval, no matter how horrible they might be. I can see that a child will endure unspeakable things in the sole hope that someday, their parents may come to their senses and see that they actually are worth of their love, especially if neglect and abusiveness is all they've ever known. I can see this child in turn looking for affection somewhere else and eventually wallowing in it when they finally get some.
And that's what confused me in this book. Affection isn't what Lily gets from Trent. He constantly humiliates her, hurts her, threatens her, uses her. She's not comfortable in his presence. She says she doesn't love him. So why stay? Again, no judging, I just don't get it and I wish the author would have elaborated more on that. I would have liked to get some insight regarding her reasons to be with Trent. I just wanted to... understand.
I was really intrigued by the blurb and I admire the author for her courage to try to deal with a matter as serious as abuse. The execution just didn't work for me.
I genuinely hope I haven't offended anyone with my review. If so, I apologize. This book just wasn't for me, it was too depressing, too frustrating, too incomprehensible for my insensitive mind.
ARC provided by the author via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
I hate giving negative reviews. I especially hate giving negative reviews to books that were kindly given to me for free by the author. But that's what it is about in the end, right? My honest opinion.
And honestly, this book just made me angry and depressed. I knew this wasn't going to be a feel-good read. I was expecting and looking forward to something dark, something gritty, something to stir my emotions and make me uncomfortable. And that, it did.
Abuse, whether it be of domestic, sexual or psychological nature, is an extremely precarious subject, but extremely important all the same. Kudos to each and every author out there who dares to leave their comfort zone in order to address an issue like that.
Unfortunately, due to the subject being to sensitive, there's so much that can go wrong.
The worst thing you can do when writing a book about abuse, in my opinion, is to slip into clichés. The characters were one-dimensional stereotypes, void of any real depth, even the heroine herself. All we got was black and white - the abused, weak heroine that had got every last bit of self-respect knocked out of her; the alcoholic, violent and unloving father; the charming and manipulative, but in the end just as evil love interest; the outwardly perfect little family with skeletons in their closet.
However, I've only read about 35%, so there was a lot of room for character development. Maybe, probably, if I'd kept going, I would have witnessed some growth, at least from the heroine, but I just couldn't. I want to be intrigued by the characters I'm reading about, especially the protagonist, in whose head I am. I want to feel some sort of connection, and I just didn't with Lily.
Now, I've never had to deal with abuse of any kind myself, neither first nor second hand, at least not in the intensity the heroine had to put up with. I had a wonderful childhood and only more or less healthy relationships, so I can't even begin to fathom how an abused person's mind works, so I'm trying not to judge the heroine's actions and behavior.
After all, I can see that a child will always and forever be longing for their parents' love and approval, no matter how horrible they might be. I can see that a child will endure unspeakable things in the sole hope that someday, their parents may come to their senses and see that they actually are worth of their love, especially if neglect and abusiveness is all they've ever known. I can see this child in turn looking for affection somewhere else and eventually wallowing in it when they finally get some.
And that's what confused me in this book. Affection isn't what Lily gets from Trent. He constantly humiliates her, hurts her, threatens her, uses her. She's not comfortable in his presence. She says she doesn't love him. So why stay? Again, no judging, I just don't get it and I wish the author would have elaborated more on that. I would have liked to get some insight regarding her reasons to be with Trent. I just wanted to... understand.
I was really intrigued by the blurb and I admire the author for her courage to try to deal with a matter as serious as abuse. The execution just didn't work for me.
I genuinely hope I haven't offended anyone with my review. If so, I apologize. This book just wasn't for me, it was too depressing, too frustrating, too incomprehensible for my insensitive mind.
ARC provided by the author via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
November 9, 2015
I hate rating a book that approaches a tough subject so low, but I felt I had to in this case. Abuse, domestic violence, and sexual abuse are very hard subjects to talk about, write about, and think about. While it is the reality for many, it is easy to shy away from the subject and remain blissfully unaware. I don't feel that way, I want to embrace the problem and bring hope for a better future. I applaud books that approach it, that can open up the communication lines for friends, family members, and those suffering or who have suffered in the past. In this case, I feel let down.
Margaret McHeyzer is a wonderful writer, she has an ability to bring a situation to life and allow the reader to feel the emotions with the character. I felt like I was right there with the main character during Ugly, because it is described with such depth. Lily was a great character, one I rooted for, because she's lost her identity in the abuse she's suffered from for the majority of her life. As she found her strength and learned to lean on good friends I rejoiced. She is one of the more believable characters I have read in novels related to abusive situations. I also liked a handful of the minor characters and how they stood up for Lily and stood behind her when she needed it. Those are the kind of minor characters that bring a story to life, allowing you as the reader to see the main character has hope for a better future, even if the main character doesn't see it yet.
Unfortunately, the story line was incredibly hard to keep track of and fairly unbelievable. At one point we'd skipped years, the writing went from first person POV to journal entries, and the abuse got to the point that I didn't see how no one had noticed. While I liked Lily and rooted for her, I didn't understand her desire to stay in bad situations. I understand how abuse can trick someone into staying, but this was beyond normal situations. Then, when good friends came, it was incredibly positive, also to the point of being unbelievable. I kept reading, because I wanted to know more, I wanted to know what happened to Lily and her past, but it kept going and going and going. Then, the ending is wrapped up so quickly, with another completely unbelievable moment. At one point I caught myself skimming the pages instead of reading and that's disappointing for me to admit. I need a book to hold me from the beginning and Ugly, while it started with a bang, just didn't the further I got.
I received a copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for my honest review.
Margaret McHeyzer is a wonderful writer, she has an ability to bring a situation to life and allow the reader to feel the emotions with the character. I felt like I was right there with the main character during Ugly, because it is described with such depth. Lily was a great character, one I rooted for, because she's lost her identity in the abuse she's suffered from for the majority of her life. As she found her strength and learned to lean on good friends I rejoiced. She is one of the more believable characters I have read in novels related to abusive situations. I also liked a handful of the minor characters and how they stood up for Lily and stood behind her when she needed it. Those are the kind of minor characters that bring a story to life, allowing you as the reader to see the main character has hope for a better future, even if the main character doesn't see it yet.
Unfortunately, the story line was incredibly hard to keep track of and fairly unbelievable. At one point we'd skipped years, the writing went from first person POV to journal entries, and the abuse got to the point that I didn't see how no one had noticed. While I liked Lily and rooted for her, I didn't understand her desire to stay in bad situations. I understand how abuse can trick someone into staying, but this was beyond normal situations. Then, when good friends came, it was incredibly positive, also to the point of being unbelievable. I kept reading, because I wanted to know more, I wanted to know what happened to Lily and her past, but it kept going and going and going. Then, the ending is wrapped up so quickly, with another completely unbelievable moment. At one point I caught myself skimming the pages instead of reading and that's disappointing for me to admit. I need a book to hold me from the beginning and Ugly, while it started with a bang, just didn't the further I got.
I received a copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for my honest review.
March 22, 2017
Wow... This was a pretty difficult read... I think in the back of my mind I didn't allow myself to think that some of this stuff, somewhere, to someone, is reality... I swear, I was a big depressing bag of misery while reading... Very difficult...
I don't want to say much on how this book evolves, but it covers a full journey...
I don't want to say much on how this book evolves, but it covers a full journey...
November 6, 2015
Reviewed @ Confessions From Romaholics
Review copy kindly provided by author in exchange for a honest review
Ever so often I come across a book that blows me away. I know with Ugly I was going to get a book that I would LOVE but I never thought I would get a book of this magnitude. A book that I sit here as I write this review, wondering two things. Why I haven’t read anything by this author before and where the heck did this book come from. As quiet simply I don’t know if I can write a review that will convince you to read this book an justify my feelings.
This book is tragic, heartbreaking, and every emotion under the sun. This book is a literally a rollercoaster as it takes you to places that you hear about but never think about. It burrows into the deepest of dark places as this is a powerful story. A story of redemption, rawness and one that leaves you wondering why such a beautiful girl/woman deserve this.
From a young age Lily, has a number of thing drilled into her that has only destroyed her self confidence to the point of non existence. She is at low of lowest points and even at the age of 12 in the prologue you can feel what is oozing out of her pores. Scared out of hell, because her only parent figure is drunk and she worried he will take his rage out on her. But why?
That scene sets up this book and leaves with a powerful memory of how is to be Lily. A girl who embodies UGLY in ever sense of the word because she believes that she is, never hearing a kind word in her life to make her thing otherwise from a loved one.
Until Trent, who offers the first glimmers of light in a long time. A friendship that starts of simply and slowly Trent coaches a new Lily one that doesn’t question things. Ones that takes things at face value because he sees her as beautiful something she can’t. As UGLY is embedded on her brain and he offers a world that she has never had. A chance to experience things we take for granted.
Whilst Lily might be smart, she is damaged goods and is Trent really the best thing for her? As everything seems to perfect and the author sucked me in as I thinking safely she found someone who can offer her a chance to think otherwise. I was hooked and wanted to see if truly this was the beginning of something better or just a stepping stone.
. The journey to HEA wasn’t always the most happy one but the author captured truly what is the norm of a woman such in Lily’s case and will be rooting for by the end. A story like Lily’s isn’t feasible by one and I love how the author tried to truly respresnt Lily’s story and the characters that we meet along the way.
McHeyzer captured the heart and the essence of a damaged woman perfectly and gave a beautiful story of redemption and healing. A story that will capture any reader’s heart, as there is a little piece of UGLY in everyone, those little insecurities we have
6 couples
For more of my reviews, visit Confessions From Romaholics.And drop by the blog's Facebook page
Review copy kindly provided by author in exchange for a honest review
Ever so often I come across a book that blows me away. I know with Ugly I was going to get a book that I would LOVE but I never thought I would get a book of this magnitude. A book that I sit here as I write this review, wondering two things. Why I haven’t read anything by this author before and where the heck did this book come from. As quiet simply I don’t know if I can write a review that will convince you to read this book an justify my feelings.
This book is tragic, heartbreaking, and every emotion under the sun. This book is a literally a rollercoaster as it takes you to places that you hear about but never think about. It burrows into the deepest of dark places as this is a powerful story. A story of redemption, rawness and one that leaves you wondering why such a beautiful girl/woman deserve this.
From a young age Lily, has a number of thing drilled into her that has only destroyed her self confidence to the point of non existence. She is at low of lowest points and even at the age of 12 in the prologue you can feel what is oozing out of her pores. Scared out of hell, because her only parent figure is drunk and she worried he will take his rage out on her. But why?
That scene sets up this book and leaves with a powerful memory of how is to be Lily. A girl who embodies UGLY in ever sense of the word because she believes that she is, never hearing a kind word in her life to make her thing otherwise from a loved one.
Until Trent, who offers the first glimmers of light in a long time. A friendship that starts of simply and slowly Trent coaches a new Lily one that doesn’t question things. Ones that takes things at face value because he sees her as beautiful something she can’t. As UGLY is embedded on her brain and he offers a world that she has never had. A chance to experience things we take for granted.
Whilst Lily might be smart, she is damaged goods and is Trent really the best thing for her? As everything seems to perfect and the author sucked me in as I thinking safely she found someone who can offer her a chance to think otherwise. I was hooked and wanted to see if truly this was the beginning of something better or just a stepping stone.
. The journey to HEA wasn’t always the most happy one but the author captured truly what is the norm of a woman such in Lily’s case and will be rooting for by the end. A story like Lily’s isn’t feasible by one and I love how the author tried to truly respresnt Lily’s story and the characters that we meet along the way.
McHeyzer captured the heart and the essence of a damaged woman perfectly and gave a beautiful story of redemption and healing. A story that will capture any reader’s heart, as there is a little piece of UGLY in everyone, those little insecurities we have
6 couples
For more of my reviews, visit Confessions From Romaholics.And drop by the blog's Facebook page
January 3, 2017
Ugly, Ugly, Ugly… *tsk tsk tsk* Where do I begin with you…?
#SorryNotSorry but this book. Got. Me. Fucked. Up!
Not in a, oh my goodness how can all these terrible things happen to a person fucked up. But the kind of cringe-worthy, eye-rolling, cheesy-mac-cheese, terrible character development (what character development?!?), bad story execution type of fucked up.
I gave up at 47% and skimmed through the 1 star/2 star and 5 star reviews on Goodreads and a majority of the lower ratings DNF at the thirty percents or fifty percents. After an hour of Youtubing, I thought, you know what, let me finish only for two reasons:
1. I needed to complete my Goodreads Reading Challenge and I was running out of time to start a new book.
2. If I don’t finish it, it will just be another book that will be at the back of my mind and just staring at me each time I browse through my Kindle books. -__-
The two biggest things I took from this book were that it was highly unrealistic and not executed well.
While the book frustrated me, I tried and I mean really, really, really tried to find positives and I. Just. Couldn’t.
I’ll just be lying if I had any positive feedback and it wouldn’t really help the author on improving this book or her next ones and it wouldn’t help the readers’ opinions on whether or not to read this one.
This book had:
- No character development: It was bad enough it was told from just Lily’s POV, so we had to live in her head and her character stayed the same throughout. Just when you saw an ounce of her coming out and changing, she shrinks back. ALL the characters were one-dimensional and couldn’t care what happened to any of them in the end.
- Our MC was hypocritical, whiny, needs to grow a pair, frustrating, weak and so annoying. I get that she went through some tough stages in her life but COME ON!! She had plenty of opportunities to stop what was happening to her. Plenty.
- The story had unnecessary explanations. The author ranted a little longer than necessary.
- The plot was more telling than showing. This just made it drag on. It was like the author had to triple explain everything thinking the readers wouldn’t get it. Trust us authors, your readers are smart enough to figure things out and if they can’t they will find a way to make sense of it all. You don’t have to baby us through what is happening - show rather than explaining in essay format. Readers will catch on.
- The entire story came off UNREALISTIC and you just couldn't sympathise with any of the characters, especially the MC.
It’s stories written like this that put me off looking further into the author entirely.
I wouldn’t recommend to anyone unless you want to check it out, read it, get frustrated like I did and then rant about it with me. Then feel free. :)
#SorryNotSorry but this book. Got. Me. Fucked. Up!
Not in a, oh my goodness how can all these terrible things happen to a person fucked up. But the kind of cringe-worthy, eye-rolling, cheesy-mac-cheese, terrible character development (what character development?!?), bad story execution type of fucked up.
I gave up at 47% and skimmed through the 1 star/2 star and 5 star reviews on Goodreads and a majority of the lower ratings DNF at the thirty percents or fifty percents. After an hour of Youtubing, I thought, you know what, let me finish only for two reasons:
1. I needed to complete my Goodreads Reading Challenge and I was running out of time to start a new book.
2. If I don’t finish it, it will just be another book that will be at the back of my mind and just staring at me each time I browse through my Kindle books. -__-
The two biggest things I took from this book were that it was highly unrealistic and not executed well.
While the book frustrated me, I tried and I mean really, really, really tried to find positives and I. Just. Couldn’t.
I’ll just be lying if I had any positive feedback and it wouldn’t really help the author on improving this book or her next ones and it wouldn’t help the readers’ opinions on whether or not to read this one.
This book had:
- No character development: It was bad enough it was told from just Lily’s POV, so we had to live in her head and her character stayed the same throughout. Just when you saw an ounce of her coming out and changing, she shrinks back. ALL the characters were one-dimensional and couldn’t care what happened to any of them in the end.
- Our MC was hypocritical, whiny, needs to grow a pair, frustrating, weak and so annoying. I get that she went through some tough stages in her life but COME ON!! She had plenty of opportunities to stop what was happening to her. Plenty.
- The story had unnecessary explanations. The author ranted a little longer than necessary.
- The plot was more telling than showing. This just made it drag on. It was like the author had to triple explain everything thinking the readers wouldn’t get it. Trust us authors, your readers are smart enough to figure things out and if they can’t they will find a way to make sense of it all. You don’t have to baby us through what is happening - show rather than explaining in essay format. Readers will catch on.
- The entire story came off UNREALISTIC and you just couldn't sympathise with any of the characters, especially the MC.
It’s stories written like this that put me off looking further into the author entirely.
I wouldn’t recommend to anyone unless you want to check it out, read it, get frustrated like I did and then rant about it with me. Then feel free. :)
October 13, 2015
WARNING: This book is DARK! Also, the main character had no one in her life to show her love, care for her, and help her. Her reasoning for sticking with Trent is because she feels like she's to blame. She thinks she's too stupid and ugly. It's what everyone tells her so it sticks. Please do NOT go into this book thinking she is dense.
5 'Snowflake' stars
Lily is mentally, physically, and emotionally abused by her father at a very young age and it doesn't stop. His words and his actions are so cruel and violent, they've stuck with her ever since. And it doesn't help that she's now 17 and still being treated this way. It's disgusting and no one should ever have to feel guilty to think it's what they deserve. No one deserves to be abused. I wish all the people who are scared would understand that.
Very early on, we meet Trent, the boy who waits at the bus stop and starts talking to Lily as the days pass. I immediately felt something off about him and he proved me right. I've never in my life felt so much rage towards so many characters in a book before. Almost everyone was blind to the fact that Trent's family is truly awful. No one could see past it and ask Lily if something was wrong. Because she needed that. She needed someone to help her understand that he doesn't love her. He's hurting her. I've got a lot to say about that poor excuse for a human being but I'll keep it to myself. No one has time for that rant.
Shayne, Lily's new best friend, was the first person I wanted to reach in through my kindle and hug for saying something. She noticed that something wasn't right and she kept pushing Lily for info.
Max. Max is the rainbow you see after the most devastating storm. I couldn't have loved him more.
This story is intense and real and truly heartbreaking. Please be advised that there is some violence and it could be considered a trigger warning for some.
Complimentary copy provided by the author/publisher via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review
5 'Snowflake' stars
Lily is mentally, physically, and emotionally abused by her father at a very young age and it doesn't stop. His words and his actions are so cruel and violent, they've stuck with her ever since. And it doesn't help that she's now 17 and still being treated this way. It's disgusting and no one should ever have to feel guilty to think it's what they deserve. No one deserves to be abused. I wish all the people who are scared would understand that.
Very early on, we meet Trent, the boy who waits at the bus stop and starts talking to Lily as the days pass. I immediately felt something off about him and he proved me right. I've never in my life felt so much rage towards so many characters in a book before. Almost everyone was blind to the fact that Trent's family is truly awful. No one could see past it and ask Lily if something was wrong. Because she needed that. She needed someone to help her understand that he doesn't love her. He's hurting her. I've got a lot to say about that poor excuse for a human being but I'll keep it to myself. No one has time for that rant.
Shayne, Lily's new best friend, was the first person I wanted to reach in through my kindle and hug for saying something. She noticed that something wasn't right and she kept pushing Lily for info.
Max. Max is the rainbow you see after the most devastating storm. I couldn't have loved him more.
This story is intense and real and truly heartbreaking. Please be advised that there is some violence and it could be considered a trigger warning for some.
Complimentary copy provided by the author/publisher via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review
October 17, 2015
Wow...this story was brilliant and I'm not sure I can truly put into words how deeply it touched me.
Lily's story was so intense, so gripping I had a hard time putting it down. From the first few pages I was sucked into a world where pain, heartache and loss were so overwhelming. I felt everything Lily felt, yet there was no way I could jump through the pages and help her.
I'm not going to lie, there were moments throughout this story I gasped for air, the struggles she faced are so true, so real that it broke my heart.
Through her life she dealt with so much, yet was able to uncover a part of her that lead her toward a future she never knew existed. Her strength was remarkable.
Not only did I love Lily as the main female character, I was in awe over so many other characters within this book. Some I wanted to scream and yell at, others I wanted to love and adore.
This story touches on such an emotional topic and this incredible author out did herself. It was simply outstanding. Well done Margaret!!!
Lily's story was so intense, so gripping I had a hard time putting it down. From the first few pages I was sucked into a world where pain, heartache and loss were so overwhelming. I felt everything Lily felt, yet there was no way I could jump through the pages and help her.
I'm not going to lie, there were moments throughout this story I gasped for air, the struggles she faced are so true, so real that it broke my heart.
Through her life she dealt with so much, yet was able to uncover a part of her that lead her toward a future she never knew existed. Her strength was remarkable.
Not only did I love Lily as the main female character, I was in awe over so many other characters within this book. Some I wanted to scream and yell at, others I wanted to love and adore.
This story touches on such an emotional topic and this incredible author out did herself. It was simply outstanding. Well done Margaret!!!
October 17, 2021
אלימות במשפחה בכלל ואלימות נגד נשים בפרט, הוא נושא כאוב אבל מאד חשוב,
חשוב להעלות אותו לשיח הציבורי ולמודעות הציבור!
אני מאד אוהבת שסופרות מוציאות ספרים אודות הנושא.
אבל בגלל שמדובר בנושא חשוב צריך לתת לו את הכבוד הראוי,
ואני מצפה שהסופרת תחקור היטב את הנושא .
לצערי זה לא קרה בספר הזה , הכתיבה והדרך שבה היא בחרה לספר את הסיפור, הרגישה לי בוסרית וללא עומק.
לא ניכר שנעשה מחקר ראוי אודות הנושא ואודות נשים ששרדו מערכת יחסים אלימה.
הדמויות היו שיטחיות וכך גם העלילה.
והסוף היה meh... פושר וקלישאתי 🤦🏻♀️
וכן, ישנם תיאורים גרפים מאד קשים של ההתעללות אבל זה לא הופך את הספר אוטומטית למדהים וחשוב, כי מעבר לזוועות, הספר לא תרם לנושא כלל🤷🏻♀️
בנוסף היו אי אילו חוסר דיוקים,
ותיאורים לא קשורים ומיותרים שלא תרמו כלל לעלילה.
נ.ב - קראתי את ה"תודות" בסוף הספר ולא הוזכר שום מחקר, רק העובדה שהסיפור פשוט הופיע בדמיונה של הסופרת 🤷🏻♀️
משהו חיובי : התרגום היה אחלה 😍 (מצרך נדיר לאחרונה) סחטיין להוצאת מלודי ❤️
חשוב להעלות אותו לשיח הציבורי ולמודעות הציבור!
אני מאד אוהבת שסופרות מוציאות ספרים אודות הנושא.
אבל בגלל שמדובר בנושא חשוב צריך לתת לו את הכבוד הראוי,
ואני מצפה שהסופרת תחקור היטב את הנושא .
לצערי זה לא קרה בספר הזה , הכתיבה והדרך שבה היא בחרה לספר את הסיפור, הרגישה לי בוסרית וללא עומק.
לא ניכר שנעשה מחקר ראוי אודות הנושא ואודות נשים ששרדו מערכת יחסים אלימה.
הדמויות היו שיטחיות וכך גם העלילה.
והסוף היה meh... פושר וקלישאתי 🤦🏻♀️
וכן, ישנם תיאורים גרפים מאד קשים של ההתעללות אבל זה לא הופך את הספר אוטומטית למדהים וחשוב, כי מעבר לזוועות, הספר לא תרם לנושא כלל🤷🏻♀️
בנוסף היו אי אילו חוסר דיוקים,
ותיאורים לא קשורים ומיותרים שלא תרמו כלל לעלילה.
נ.ב - קראתי את ה"תודות" בסוף הספר ולא הוזכר שום מחקר, רק העובדה שהסיפור פשוט הופיע בדמיונה של הסופרת 🤷🏻♀️
משהו חיובי : התרגום היה אחלה 😍 (מצרך נדיר לאחרונה) סחטיין להוצאת מלודי ❤️
October 7, 2015
I received an ARC for an honest review of UGLY by Margaret McHeyzer
Let me start with "I LOVED THIS BOOK!" Ugly is different from books that I usually read it was intense and dark. I was angry with Lily for continuing to allow the abusive relationships to continue. Lily continuously takes the blame for the terrible things that happen to her, she believes she is ugly and stupid and her self esteem is non-existent. The story turns around and Lily finally has had enough, she is hesitant to lean on others but with their love support she becomes the woman she was always destined to be. Lily even finds love and answers to why her life has been so awful. Sadly, none of the reasons are her fault. Ugly was well written, kept me constantly wanting to know what was going to happen next and the ending really got to me.
Let me start with "I LOVED THIS BOOK!" Ugly is different from books that I usually read it was intense and dark. I was angry with Lily for continuing to allow the abusive relationships to continue. Lily continuously takes the blame for the terrible things that happen to her, she believes she is ugly and stupid and her self esteem is non-existent. The story turns around and Lily finally has had enough, she is hesitant to lean on others but with their love support she becomes the woman she was always destined to be. Lily even finds love and answers to why her life has been so awful. Sadly, none of the reasons are her fault. Ugly was well written, kept me constantly wanting to know what was going to happen next and the ending really got to me.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 9, 2017
Это самая тупая и уродливая книга! По крайней мере, первая её половина это точно. Про вторую мало что могу сказать, только то, что она никакая, и я читала её уже через страницу. Смысл "Уродины" (если, конечно же, он здесь был) можно понять, пропуская добрую половину книги.
Надо ооооочень сильно постараться, чтобы я поставила 1. В каждой книге я могу найти что-нибудь хорошее, ну и просто я уважаю чужой труд. Здесь же... Я сама готова была надавать гг-не по голове, лишь бы она перестала себя так неадекватно вести и включила бы свой (судя по всему, отсутствующий) мозг.
Выдержки из дневника Лили:
«....Я накричала на него. Зачем я это сделала? Я такая глупая, просто не могу поверить в то, насколько я тупая.
Я заслужила то, что получила. Он — мой муж. Он не изменил бы мне. Он выкрутил мою руку за спину и сломал ее. Это был несчастный случай, я знаю, что был, потому что когда он высадил меня у больницы, он сказал, что это был несчастный случай, и он не хотел причинять мне боль, он просто вышел из себя, потому что я сказала то, что расстроило его. <...> Еще он говорит мне, что я похожа на жирный кусок мяса. Поэтому я сажусь на диету прямо сейчас. Мне нужно похудеть до тридцати шести килограммов. Господи, я такая толстая.
Пока, дневник.
P.S. Не могу дождаться, чтобы стать для Трента самой лучшей женой в мире. Он заслуживает самого лучшего. Он так сильно меня любит.»
Читаю это и начинаю злиться. Как можно так не любить своих читателей, чтобы написать подобную херь? Маргарет МакХейзер, пожалуйста, пощади нас всех и не пиши больше. Спасибо.
P.S.: Лили по своей неадекватности переплюнула даже, до недавних пор лидирующую, Киру ("Легкомысленые" С.К. Стивенс). Присуждаю ей почетное звание "САМОЙ БЕСЯЧЕЙ ГЕРОИНИ"
Надо ооооочень сильно постараться, чтобы я поставила 1. В каждой книге я могу найти что-нибудь хорошее, ну и просто я уважаю чужой труд. Здесь же... Я сама готова была надавать гг-не по голове, лишь бы она перестала себя так неадекватно вести и включила бы свой (судя по всему, отсутствующий) мозг.
Выдержки из дневника Лили:
«....Я накричала на него. Зачем я это сделала? Я такая глупая, просто не могу поверить в то, насколько я тупая.
Я заслужила то, что получила. Он — мой муж. Он не изменил бы мне. Он выкрутил мою руку за спину и сломал ее. Это был несчастный случай, я знаю, что был, потому что когда он высадил меня у больницы, он сказал, что это был несчастный случай, и он не хотел причинять мне боль, он просто вышел из себя, потому что я сказала то, что расстроило его. <...> Еще он говорит мне, что я похожа на жирный кусок мяса. Поэтому я сажусь на диету прямо сейчас. Мне нужно похудеть до тридцати шести килограммов. Господи, я такая толстая.
Пока, дневник.
P.S. Не могу дождаться, чтобы стать для Трента самой лучшей женой в мире. Он заслуживает самого лучшего. Он так сильно меня любит.»
Читаю это и начинаю злиться. Как можно так не любить своих читателей, чтобы написать подобную херь? Маргарет МакХейзер, пожалуйста, пощади нас всех и не пиши больше. Спасибо.
P.S.: Лили по своей неадекватности переплюнула даже, до недавних пор лидирующую, Киру ("Легкомысленые" С.К. Стивенс). Присуждаю ей почетное звание "САМОЙ БЕСЯЧЕЙ ГЕРОИНИ"
December 30, 2015
What an apt title for this book. There is so much 'ugly' in this world and unfortunately for Lily she is surrounded by it for the majority of her childhood and well into adulthood. No one should ever have to endure a life such as Lily's. As a reader I was fully submersed into that world, making it a difficult book to read; it was so sad and just hurt so much.
Though the conditions are harsh this book is about survival. It's about being conditioned to believe in lies and then fighting to overcome demons. And about finding the right support to succeed in that fight. The hero of this book is Max and he is perfect for Lily. I was so happy that Lily found the strength to fight and move on with her life.
Though the conditions are harsh this book is about survival. It's about being conditioned to believe in lies and then fighting to overcome demons. And about finding the right support to succeed in that fight. The hero of this book is Max and he is perfect for Lily. I was so happy that Lily found the strength to fight and move on with her life.
November 22, 2015
4 stars!
Ugly is DARK, intense and abusive, it's raw, real and painful. At times I had to walk away from the book angry because of Lily's excuses and reasoning. She like most victims, blames herself for all the terrible things that happen to her. But don't give up on her, she finally decides to do something about her circumstances and with the support of friends, loved ones and an unexpected gentleman. Lily is able to turn her world around and the ending is absolutely phenomenal! Well done Margaret!!!
Ugly is DARK, intense and abusive, it's raw, real and painful. At times I had to walk away from the book angry because of Lily's excuses and reasoning. She like most victims, blames herself for all the terrible things that happen to her. But don't give up on her, she finally decides to do something about her circumstances and with the support of friends, loved ones and an unexpected gentleman. Lily is able to turn her world around and the ending is absolutely phenomenal! Well done Margaret!!!
November 6, 2015
Tenho amigos que amaram esse livro e outros dois que detestaram, porém a minha avaliação é que, foi uma grande história sim, mas a personagem as vezes era muito chata e mesmo assim o livro ainda passa uma grande mensagem. Esse é um livro 8 ou 80, nem todo mundo vai gostar, mas terá gente que vai amar como eu amei.
October 26, 2015
It was never like this before. Ever.
I'm twelve years old and I can remember when Mom, Dad, and I were all happy. But that was years ago. It's been a long time since there's been any happiness in this house.
If this book doesn't make you a crying mess, there is no saving your soul. I cannot begin to explain how deep this story touched me. I'm not trying to be cheesy or cliche but without having too many expectations of an author who I haven't read their work before, UGLY moves past the dark and sad. It pushes the boundaries in everything that might make a book, a book. It doesn't follow any rules and when it comes to the readers sanity? Well let's just say Margaret McHeyzer shows no mercy.
"I'm sorry," I say again. Tears are falling hot and fast down my cheeks. My head hurts from where he was pulling my hair, but I don't dare try to rub the spot.
"You ugly fuck." He kicks a boot into my leg.
The pain is instant and my leg feels like it's shattered. "Please, Daddy," I beg again, burying my face into my hands.
But 'please never seems to work.
Nothing does.
I've just got to take the beatings, because that's what stupid, ugly girls do.
Jesus. I'm crying just having to relive the moments.. I knew writing this review would be hard. But I didn't expect that it would hurt my heart this much, just by going through those saved passages.. Fuck. I'm a mess..
A review will NEVER be able to do an ounce of justice to the sheer gorgeous way this dark, hair raising and boundary defying book has done.
Lily has been called 'ugly' almost all her life. She has been living a childhood and many of her teenage years with a father that not only doesn't deserve that title but shouldn't be able to get away with those unbelievable acts he has done.. Lily has a strong mind, she knows what is happening to her. But the sad truth that comes with many abuse victims, nobody can understand what you are going through or why you are still in that situation but you.
I don't have friends at school..they may see the bruises.
Not the bruises on my skin, no, those are easily concealed. I mean the bruises hiding deep down inside me. The pain and sadness that's with me from the moment I wake, to the moment I go to sleep.
One day she meets a boy who despite her better judgment shows her what a 'normal' life is like, what she was missing out.. and in general, Trent is just moving in on an emotional wrecked, bruised soul that would see a compliment with a different eye compared to most others..
Lily and Trent's relationship flows easily and soon enough, they are together.
Lily is happier than she ever was in her life. She still doesn't understand what a guy like Trent would want from or see in her, when he could have any girl he wanted. It also doesn't help that he alcohol ridden father doesn't fail to voice his opinion when it comes to resenting that she should have died instead of her mother. And if that wasn't a low enough point or a soul crushing moment, you won't like what comes with the rest of the story..
I always say, never trust a smile that doesn't reach the eyes. Can this be said about Trent or his father and his uncle? Trent's mother was another reason that my heart broke into a million smaller pieces..
At one point I thought I couldn't take anymore of this heartbreak, this torture in having to endure a darkness within a book I don't think I have ever witness before. I've read dark and heart shattering books before. I've even read a couple that make me anything but smiley for the next couple weeks.. UGLY is one of those stories.
BUT, just when you think it couldn't get any darker and deeper into the pits of insanity, it gets worse at the same time that we slowly see a flicker of hope..
The way he winked at me, it was as if he noticed me. Saw past the ugly exterior, and the broken interior. From a distance he didn't see the damage, he saw a girl...
I'm crying again. Damn it!
Could this be Trent she is talking about? Is it someone else? Who could have brought this sense of hope into her life??
I cannot tell you how much sympathy I had for ALL the bullshit of a life that Lily has. It's never fair that while we laugh and smile at the smallest of things, another breathing soul if going through something like this. I mean, how can we ever think that this is okay? What kind of monster would put someone through this, let alone child that LOST their mother?
How... why.. I can't. I am honestly at a loss of words, as I always seem to be when it comes to stories like these that trigger something deep inside, something that makes my chest ache. I can't explain it but all I know? All I truly know is that these bloody tears that have started to cloud my vision, these tears scream emotions. They are too loud for their own good, but at least you can know how much this book has affected me.
Me. The girl who is far beyond being fixed. Someone who read so many dark and fucked up books that I sometimes wonder what could be wrong with me. But a girl that wholeheartedly wishes anyone like Lily's character would be strong enough to move out of their life in hell.. HOPE. That's the only thing that might get them through..
HOPE
SECOND CHANCES
END
DARKNESS
SOULFUL
EMOTIONAL
HEART-WRENCHING
DEEP
INSANE
ADDICTIVE
DIFFERENT
BRILLIANT
I can't say any more before I start to breakdown or spoil anything.
THANK YOU Margarer McHeyzer for not only providing an ARC but for creating something that without a ounce of a doubt, will forever hold a big piece of my messed up heart. If this review didn't say it or if my tears didn't try to explain it, I ABSOLUTELY LOVED every single word of your book, UGLY. It deserves it's own shelf for a book that twists the readers heart into a 360 of an emotional, dark roller coaster that never quite makes the turns you expect..
Thank you for creating UGLY.
<3
xx
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