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When Bad Things Happen in Good Bikinis: Life After Death and a Dog Called Boris
Writer Helen Bailey's world fell apart in early 2011 when she and her workaholic husband took off on a well-earned break to Barbados and days after arriving Helen watched helplessly from the beach as he was dragged out to sea in a rip-current and drowned. Alone and more than three thousand miles from home, she was a wife at breakfast and a widow by lunchtime. With her life as she knew it shattered, Helen began to chronicle living after such devastating and shocking loss in a blog - Planet Grief - and gained a worldwide following from many who had experienced huge loss, whether through death or divorce.
And now her blog has become a book. Anecdotal, witty, heartbreaking and utterly grounded, When Bad Things Happen to Good Bikinis covers all the obvious struggles in the aftermath of a loss, as well as many not-so-obvious but just as poignant everyday obstacles. Helen has emerged from her nightmare, and her story will bring wry humour, comfort and hope to a huge number of people, whatever their circumstances.
And now her blog has become a book. Anecdotal, witty, heartbreaking and utterly grounded, When Bad Things Happen to Good Bikinis covers all the obvious struggles in the aftermath of a loss, as well as many not-so-obvious but just as poignant everyday obstacles. Helen has emerged from her nightmare, and her story will bring wry humour, comfort and hope to a huge number of people, whatever their circumstances.
- GenresMemoirNonfictionGrief
403 pages, Paperback
First published October 8, 2015
About the author
Helen Bailey
44 books39 followersHelen Elizabeth Bailey (22 August 1964 – c. 11 April 2016) was a British author who wrote the Electra Brown series of books aimed at a teenage audience.
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Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
March 14, 2017
Haunting reading this after her murder by her new partner but doesn't detract from the fact that it's funny and brutally honest. Lots that reminded me of my own early widowhood. Wish I'd met her.
May 9, 2022
This book is heartbreaking and depressing and witty, all at the same time. The author Helen Bailey discusses the trauma of her husband's accidental death, but also recounts the good and bad aspects of their relationship. This is such an honest and perceptive account of a long relationship and the aftermath of a tragedy. Dogs are also a big part of the book, and the complexities of dog ownership were particularly relatable to me.
SPOILER (for what happened AFTER the book was published):
But then there's another devastatingly dark layer to the book (this is pretty common knowledge and mentioned in multiple reviews, so I have not hidden this). Bailey meets a new man during her grieving process and starts a relationship with him. She calls him the "Gorgeous Gray-Haired Widower" (although the gorgeous part is lost on me).
"GGHW" has also lost his wife and they meet in an online group for people dealing with grief. It's harrowing and sad to read how lovingly Bailey talks about this person, considering that soon after this book was published, "GGHW"/Ian Stewart murdered Bailey and her precious dog. Just a few months ago this murderer was also convicted of killing his ex-wife.
This knowledge made it impossible for me to read the book without looking for unintentional "clues" about the true nature of Stewart. And every time he was mentioned, the sickening feeling intensified. I do wonder if the author (or her relatives) would have liked to remove him from the book after the murder.
SPOILER (for what happened AFTER the book was published):
But then there's another devastatingly dark layer to the book (this is pretty common knowledge and mentioned in multiple reviews, so I have not hidden this). Bailey meets a new man during her grieving process and starts a relationship with him. She calls him the "Gorgeous Gray-Haired Widower" (although the gorgeous part is lost on me).
"GGHW" has also lost his wife and they meet in an online group for people dealing with grief. It's harrowing and sad to read how lovingly Bailey talks about this person, considering that soon after this book was published, "GGHW"/Ian Stewart murdered Bailey and her precious dog. Just a few months ago this murderer was also convicted of killing his ex-wife.
This knowledge made it impossible for me to read the book without looking for unintentional "clues" about the true nature of Stewart. And every time he was mentioned, the sickening feeling intensified. I do wonder if the author (or her relatives) would have liked to remove him from the book after the murder.
February 7, 2016
I'm not a critic and I hate giving my opinion on books or films beyond saying whether I liked it or not. However for this book I want to try, that's how good it was.
Helen Bailey bravely starts at the beginning and takes us with her as she traverses Planet Grief. My life both before and after the death of my partner (almost 7 years ago) is quite different from Helen's yet many of the chapters still resonated with me. Some recalled memories I had forgotten and others memories that are so vivid that I wonder if they will ever fade. Other chapters described situations and circumstances beyond my experience and those I found interesting and enjoyed them as much as the others.
Throughout this book I laughed and I cried, often at the same time. I am in awe of the way she has managed to convey the multitude of thoughts and feelings that occur when rebuilding your life after such a traumatic loss. I would recommend this book to anyone as a compelling read that shows that even when life as you know it ends it doesn't meant you can't build another one.
Helen Bailey bravely starts at the beginning and takes us with her as she traverses Planet Grief. My life both before and after the death of my partner (almost 7 years ago) is quite different from Helen's yet many of the chapters still resonated with me. Some recalled memories I had forgotten and others memories that are so vivid that I wonder if they will ever fade. Other chapters described situations and circumstances beyond my experience and those I found interesting and enjoyed them as much as the others.
Throughout this book I laughed and I cried, often at the same time. I am in awe of the way she has managed to convey the multitude of thoughts and feelings that occur when rebuilding your life after such a traumatic loss. I would recommend this book to anyone as a compelling read that shows that even when life as you know it ends it doesn't meant you can't build another one.
June 30, 2017
A catchy title, but not as light of a read as the title would suggest.
In 2011, Helen and her husband went on vacation to Barbados, where her husband drowned while swimming in the ocean. She witnessed his death. “A wife at breakfast, a widow before lunch.”
Trying to deal with the loss of her husband, she started up a blog, Planet Grief, in which she reached out to other people who had lost loved ones. This book is a memoir of her journey through the process of grief, based on that blog. She tells about life without her husband, of the simple things that would make her break down in tears, and of her dog, Boris, her loyal companion.
Her stories are filled with raw emotion—especially in the first half of the book—her writing poignant, and sometimes funny. Reading about her experience of loss, of which she writes in a very honest and open way, is heart wrenching.
It’s not an easy book to read, but it is a good one.
In 2011, Helen and her husband went on vacation to Barbados, where her husband drowned while swimming in the ocean. She witnessed his death. “A wife at breakfast, a widow before lunch.”
Trying to deal with the loss of her husband, she started up a blog, Planet Grief, in which she reached out to other people who had lost loved ones. This book is a memoir of her journey through the process of grief, based on that blog. She tells about life without her husband, of the simple things that would make her break down in tears, and of her dog, Boris, her loyal companion.
Her stories are filled with raw emotion—especially in the first half of the book—her writing poignant, and sometimes funny. Reading about her experience of loss, of which she writes in a very honest and open way, is heart wrenching.
It’s not an easy book to read, but it is a good one.
August 11, 2018
This book is both funny and moving, and I think would have been a real help to others coping with loss. It is hard to read now in the context of what happened to the author and her dog, especially the parts where she talks about her new partner, and hope, which is really the main message of the book: you can come through difficult things. Helen Bailey comes across as a warm, thoughtful person, sharing her own experience, some of which will resonate with everyone who has lost someone and some of which is less usual (such as the circumstances in which her husband died). She clearly found her own blog and her online support network of other widows and widowers a great help to herself as well as to others. She even talks about how to stay safe in this environment, and was duly cautious about meeting someone else, which makes what happened all the more awful. However much one may think one is being careful, even a few personal details written in a manner which makes you feel you know the writer can give away too much.
I do hope she had finally settled, and acted on, whatever was decided about her husband's ashes, as one can't imagine GGHW having treated them with respect if they were still in the house. That if anything is another lesson to take from this catastrophe - don't leave it too long.
I do hope she had finally settled, and acted on, whatever was decided about her husband's ashes, as one can't imagine GGHW having treated them with respect if they were still in the house. That if anything is another lesson to take from this catastrophe - don't leave it too long.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 7, 2018
My dad died suddenly last year and friends have generously given me many articles and books about the grief process, most written by someone who has had a great loss in their lives.
Helen Bailey lost her husband, and I lost my dad, but the suddenness of the deaths were similar and I laughed and cried while reading this book.
Halfway through, my sister may have been a bit tired of me turning to her to say, “this is a good line. Ohhhh I love this book...” so she recommended I email the author and tell HER how much I love it.
And, as many of you know, it turns out I cannot email the author. Because at that moment, looking for her contact information, I discovered that Helen Bailey has died in the short time since her book has been published. And then... I found that the man she notes as her “happily ever after” is the one who murdered her?!? AND BORIS?!?
I’ve gone far down a rabbit hole here, and I can’t stop reading about this. Happy to think Helen and JS are reunited, but also breaks my heart reading about her parents’ suffering. (And, seriously, Boris?!? Ugh! What a GROSS MAN that GGHW is!)
Helen Bailey lost her husband, and I lost my dad, but the suddenness of the deaths were similar and I laughed and cried while reading this book.
Halfway through, my sister may have been a bit tired of me turning to her to say, “this is a good line. Ohhhh I love this book...” so she recommended I email the author and tell HER how much I love it.
And, as many of you know, it turns out I cannot email the author. Because at that moment, looking for her contact information, I discovered that Helen Bailey has died in the short time since her book has been published. And then... I found that the man she notes as her “happily ever after” is the one who murdered her?!? AND BORIS?!?
I’ve gone far down a rabbit hole here, and I can’t stop reading about this. Happy to think Helen and JS are reunited, but also breaks my heart reading about her parents’ suffering. (And, seriously, Boris?!? Ugh! What a GROSS MAN that GGHW is!)
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 6, 2016
I don't know that you can ever entirely enjoy a book about grief and the immediate aftermath of losing your beloved, but frustating husband but overall I am glad I read this. In Good Bikinis Helen Bailey adapts her successful blog, Planet Grief, into a book - I've read that when she started writing the blog it wasn't with the thought of others reading her words - and it shows. She's brutally honest, witty and heartbreaking - I found myself many times wondering how I'd cope in a similar situation. Unfortunately despite the books uplifting ending, the story of my reading it had a sad and depressing conclusion - as I approached the final 15% of the book, as Helen has found love with a fellow widower through a grief support group, the news broke that she and Boris (the dog) had been found dead and her new partner had been arrested for her murder. Shocking news and of course devastating for her friends and family. I really wish I'd been able to finish the book and believe in her happy ever after before finding out this tragic news.
April 3, 2019
Not an easy read, given the subject matter, and especially given how Helen's story ended. The writing is very honest, and I felt as if I knew (and liked) her, making it all the more poignant. The latter entries are especially difficult. I would recommend this book, but arm yourself with a box or two of tissues before doing so.
August 1, 2016
An honest and deeply moving memoir about life in the aftermath of sudden widowhood, made all the more tragic by the recent discovery of Bailey's own death: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/obituaries....
May 1, 2017
I found it a very hard read near the end due to how her life ended so tragically but, as a Cruse Bereavement counsellor, I am sure it will help me more in my work. It was so utterly honest.
April 9, 2021
I love Bailey’s methods of communication and how it’s equally comic relief, sarcastic, and sad. Also WOW her real life story is ??? crazy.
I cried reading some of the Up Up and Away passages out loud, so I resulted to never reading any part of that book out loud ever again HAHAHA.
I unfortunately couldn’t bring myself to getting past this book right now, not because I couldn’t bear its themes in grief, but mostly because I couldn’t connect to her memoir as well as I would have. I didn’t know what this book was about before I started reading, and while I left tabs on multiple pages for putting thoughts I’ve had when I lost people dear to me into words, I was looking for a narrative that wasn’t there. It was an anthology of thoughts, and it wasn’t my taste of a light read. I don’t think I need this book yet, but it was a lovely, genuine effort to write about loss with no particular message to get across.
I cried reading some of the Up Up and Away passages out loud, so I resulted to never reading any part of that book out loud ever again HAHAHA.
I unfortunately couldn’t bring myself to getting past this book right now, not because I couldn’t bear its themes in grief, but mostly because I couldn’t connect to her memoir as well as I would have. I didn’t know what this book was about before I started reading, and while I left tabs on multiple pages for putting thoughts I’ve had when I lost people dear to me into words, I was looking for a narrative that wasn’t there. It was an anthology of thoughts, and it wasn’t my taste of a light read. I don’t think I need this book yet, but it was a lovely, genuine effort to write about loss with no particular message to get across.
January 21, 2024
Read this when the trial was taking place of GGHW who had given Helen sleeping tablets over a period of time, then put her body and that of her dog Boris in the cesspit under their garage - she had once joked it would be a good place to hide a dead body.
Helen's first husband died Feb 2011 - they had been together 22years. He went swimming in the sea in Barbados and drowned - she had to deal with it all - feeling helpless in her good bikini.
GGHW (Gorgeous grey haired widower) was found guilty of her murder on 22/2/17 and given a minimum prison sentence of 34 years.
Helen's first husband died Feb 2011 - they had been together 22years. He went swimming in the sea in Barbados and drowned - she had to deal with it all - feeling helpless in her good bikini.
GGHW (Gorgeous grey haired widower) was found guilty of her murder on 22/2/17 and given a minimum prison sentence of 34 years.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 24, 2023
Not one that I would recommend as a relaxing read. Don't get me wrong, I very much appreciate the way Bailey writes (she often writes the way I think), but the subject is obviously one to be consumed in smaller pieces, for me personally.
The final chapters are hopeful ones. I hope she's doing well.
The final chapters are hopeful ones. I hope she's doing well.
April 28, 2020
A relatable, moving, and oftentimes entertaining, memoir of the first few years after spousal death, but suitable for anyone who has been bereaved.
March 5, 2025
She never stops crying!
March 21, 2017
Brilliantly written, so sad, Helen went through so much and there was no happy ending.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 28, 2016
What can I say apart from that it was that it was an enjoyable read.i wanted to read this book since October as I got it for my birthday.i love anything to do with books ,so having written in the story parts about books was perfect.i felt so sorry for Helen when it came to her husband js dying on holiday as you never really except a loved one to go this way. As you think you to your self we are going away together but don't except having to go back home by your self.i think she got back in to work life and may of at times found it hard but then it helped her keep busy and carry on even though she might not want to. If makes u look at life in a different way of how special and precious it is.she found love again and someone to be happy with and spend time with.but I think it was to soon in her eyes but if she was not happy,felt bad,moving on to fast and felt like she was going against her husband even though I am sure js would be OK,happy,not so hurt that Helen had found happiness, new life as with in time people who lose their partner,wife,husband they start again but I could never but then everyone is different.helen in the end moved away to start a fresh again,found being with Gghw was not so bad as they spent together,with friends ,lived in the same area which was a start and that maybe they might marry or have children but who knows.i also liked the fact she added quoits from people who had the same goings on like Helen losing someone very special.as they wrote about how their life had change when they became a widow and must of felt so they must of felt writing on Helens blog helped when it came to the problems they were going through.parts of people's feelings being written in to the story made it more real and understanding of how it feels to be a widower if u have never been one yet. Helen got back in to writing after a while as she gave it up which was sad but I got why she did. As being a writer it makes u happy,busy and excited to make stories fans can enjoy,learn new things.it is a brilliant read and I am sure you will in joy if you have not read this book yet.i hope one day Helen will write a follow on as it would be good to see what happened to her and the happiness she found again.happy reading.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 22, 2019
True Story
Excellent read
Informative and a full array of emotions.
Excellent read
Informative and a full array of emotions.
March 19, 2016
The most natural book I've read about living on Planet Grief
Five stars for the flow, humour and honesty of the writing. There are so many books that just dwell on the grief but this book is raw true and something to help move you on.
Anyone and everyone should read it. Not just those living the nightmare but others to gain understanding of what friends and family members may feel. So many have rubbed me up the wrong way through stupid comments.
You will feel for the writer but also laugh out loud and the natural reactions she writes of. You will also realise that you're going through loss and you are not the only one to do things that make you question your sanity.
Five stars for the flow, humour and honesty of the writing. There are so many books that just dwell on the grief but this book is raw true and something to help move you on.
Anyone and everyone should read it. Not just those living the nightmare but others to gain understanding of what friends and family members may feel. So many have rubbed me up the wrong way through stupid comments.
You will feel for the writer but also laugh out loud and the natural reactions she writes of. You will also realise that you're going through loss and you are not the only one to do things that make you question your sanity.
September 25, 2016
A beautifully moving book! Fancied a change from my usual genres and thought the title was very different from anything I've read before. To summarise, the book follows the journey of a woman who's husband tragically dies whilst on holiday. Of course this was bound to be a sad book and often I struggled to pick it up as, unsurprisingly, there wasn't a lot of positivity at times! However Helen's humour throughout the book had me smiling and laughing out loud despite her horrendous battle with grief. Having lost a family member as a child, a lot of her struggles struck a chord and I was cheering her on to happiness the whole way through. A lovely book that I will remember!
October 24, 2015
This book did a number of things; first it made my happy, to see my dear friend and one of my favourite authors writing again. Secondly, it broke my heart. I cried and I laughed, some of which was cathartic, other times I was crying from my friend and crying for people I didn't even know. Helen has an absolutely brilliant way of writing, which is what makes such a tough subject so easy (if that's the right word) to read. I really, truly loved this book and am going to be giving it to everyone and anyone.
May 10, 2016
so so,much on the same theme tbh ,but will not criticise as very honest and well written,but am afraid it didn't engage after about 1/3 way through although at the beginning i was eagerly page turning
October 25, 2015
This is my favourite book have read it twice!
December 3, 2015
One word....Hope.
February 7, 2018
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews