You Are Not Alone: Hope for Hurting Parents of Troubled Kids

by Dena Yohe

You would go to the ends of the earth for your child. So, if your teenager or young adult is in the midst of crisis due to self-injury, mental illness, depression, bullying, or destructive choices, you probably feel broken, powerless, and isolated.
 
Dena Yohe wants you to know you are not alone. You are not a bad parent. And you are going to be okay.
 
Dena has been where you are. In You Are Not Alone, she speaks from experience as she offers healthy ways to maintain your other relationships, suggestions for responding to friends who don’t understand, and ideas for keeping up your emotional and spiritual well-being when your world feels as if it’s crashing down.
 
It is possible to find purpose in your pain, joy beyond your fear, and hope for every tomorrow.
 
Includes prayers, exercises, websites, and other helpful resources.

Genres: Self Help, Parenting, Christian

224 pages, Paperback

Published July 19, 2016

Reviews

[Stephanie]

Where do I begin with reviewing this book? I felt like the author looked inside my heart and wrote my own feelings. This is an account of what she and her husband experienced while raising their troubled daughter. It is a book to reach out to any parents who have raised (or are in the process of raising) a child who has abused drugs, harmed themselves, or experienced mental illness.

The author, Dena Yohe, is the wife of a pastor and missionary. She and her husband went through some real battles with their child, Rene, who has pretty much experienced everything that is a parent's worst nightmare. Mrs. Yohe shares her pain and heartache as well as Biblical advice on what helped her make it though. There are also a few excepts written by her daughter which gives a perspective from the troubled child's point of view.

Fortunately, God turned ashes in beauty in her and her daughter's life and used them to help start a ministry to troubled youth called To Write Love on Her Arms.

I strongly recommend this book for anyone who is having a difficult time with a child.

[Andrea · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book truly touched my life. As a parent of a wayward child I really needed the words of comfort and inspiration. It is hard as a parent to watch your child struggle and not feel responsible. This book really put everything in perspective and reminded me that God has a purpose for this pain and my suffering is not in vain. Thank you for the much needed truth.

[Erin Blechman · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a must read for any parent going through a difficult time with a child. The author tackles the myth that if we follow a certain formula in parenting we will get a specific outcome, namely perfect kids. She helps parents deal with disappointment, denial, shock, fear and worry, grief and loss and leads us to a place of hope. You Are Not Alone offers practical suggestions for maintaining emotional and spiritual health in the midst of the greatest struggle a parent can face - a troubled child.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a hug of "me too." For any family, or friend that has a person who is struggling with mental health, drugs, or more you will be able to relate to this book. It will give you hope and help you walk forward knowing God is beside you.


I received an advanced copy in exchange for my honest opinion and review.

[Go2therock · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the most comprehensive books I've read among those written for the parents of hurting adult children. Although I found the responses of Dena and her husband to be rather frustrating in their daughter's early years, that was their walk and their choices. If anything, it reveals the agonizing experience it is for parents to be caught in the dilemma of what choices to make when one's child is spinning out into darkness. We so much want to make the RIGHT choices, but these are uncharted waters and each situation is unique.

Dena does a really great job of exploring the various struggles we have as the parents. I was validated, understood, and encouraged. This book is here to serve as a ministry to you in the body of Christ. Dena comes alongside you with her own story and experiences, a loving arm drapes round you in comfort and love, and she points to the One who is sovereign over it all.

The Lord is our comfort, strength, and hope. We've heard it countless times. We know it. But walking through these valleys, we come to understand it anew.

[Jill · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you are struggling with a troubled teenager who suffers from depression, anxiety, addiction, etc., you will find compassion, understanding and encouragement from Dena Yohe who has been there with her own daughter. She dispels the notion that you are a bad parent because your child is depressed or struggling with addiction. You are going to be okay and, most importantly, you are not alone.

Yohe shares her struggles and periodically, throughout the book, her daughter shares her thoughts and feelings. Yohe discusses how to find purpose in your pain, joy beyond fear and hope for tomorrow. She encourages parents to set boundaries, find ways to get away for a well-deserved rest and offers scriptures and prayers that help you and your child. She encourages parents not to try to go through their pain alone.

[Nancy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a very well done book for parents of struggling children. Dena related to me as only the mother of a child in deep trouble could. I found myself feeling understood as I read her story. The scripture quoted in the book was so helpful and sometimes was a verse I had never seen before but was perfect for my current situation. On more than one occasion it was a verse that I had seen earlier in the day but had never seen prior to that. It was such a God thing for me. The resources at the back of the book are extensive and helpful for most any parenting trial. I will probably re-read this in the next few months and that is something I rarely do. I feel like I have a plan for having a life outside of this trial and not letting it rule my brain at all times. That is really hopeful.

[Barb Winters · Rating 5 out of 5]

I met Dena at a writers conference, and when I heard her story, I couldn't wait to read this book. It did not disappoint. You Are Not Alone is applicable to any parent with a child dealing with an ongoing issue. Even though my personal circumstances are slightly different than hers, her message was applicable. I felt like I was right there with her as she described her feelings of shock, denial, anger, and loneliness. Yes, the loneliness. I love how she walked me through her journey and continued to offer hope with Scriptures throughout the book. She gives practical advice, as well as leading us back to the One who knows all and heals all. Thank you, Dena, for this book. I highly recommend it.

[Amy Volk · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are a parent struggling with a prodigal or troubled child, this book is key to learning how to pray through and cope with your situation, loving your child and yet understanding that God loves him or her even more. I highlighted so much and used each chapter for my morning devotional, journaling as I went. I know I will be returning to this book as long as this struggle is with me and maybe beyond. I’ve already purchased a copy for a friend, who is also finding it tremendously comforting and edifying to her faith.

[Cyndi Carter · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a wonderful book, full of truth and grace. Parents of children with all sorts of issues will benefit from Dena's words. It would also be helpful for anyone to gain a perspective into what it's like to go through hard situations with children, even if the children are now adults. Renee is so honest about her own struggles, and gives a perspective from her point of view. I highly recommend this book.

[Christie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thank my mom for giving me this book just when I needed it. I felt many times that the author was speaking directly to me and my situation and there were a lot of kleenex used. Although I grew up in a Christian home, and still identify to some extent, I feel that the amount of religiousness could have been reduced a good bit. It could be a turn off to some and it could deter them from continuing with the book and obtaining a lot of insights, valuable information, and encouragement.

[Lori · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had the privilege of hearing Dena Yohe and her husband, Tom, speak at a local church a couple months ago. They are the most genuine, down-to-earth people who have experience tremendous struggles with their daughter, Rene'e. The book is rich with realistic advice while staying encouraging and hopeful. There is a wealth of resources in this terrific book that I found very helpful.

[Mary-Margaret Bundy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this for a graduate school assignment, as my focus is children and substance abuse, and this was wonderful. It is gentle, but informative. The religious tie in is wonderful for a Christian parent as well. I’ve sent this to mothers already, plan to have my own mother read it, and will encourage all parents to give it a look.

[Johnny Bennett · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was suggested from a child counselor. It's difficult to rate since it would have different applications depending on where you are with your child. Certainly intense if one is just starting on the journey.

[Ajht.evanscomcast.net · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish I had read this book a few years ago. It does not sugar coat the journey, but it gives you hope that you can be okay. Lots of links to resources are included.

[Jeni Newman · Rating 5 out of 5]

I highly recommend this book for any Christian parent with a child going through a crisis. So much truth and practical help. Nice to hear from someone who has been there.

[Phyllis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hopeful and filled with Biblical wisdom. Heartfelt, honest, painful and poignant. Encouraging. Worth the read.

[Thomas Rolwing · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought the book had some exceptionally good points. It was well written and an easy read. However, I do always find the put it in God's hands comments kind of bothersome. Clearly, it's never a bad idea to have some faith or to pray, but I do think when you're in the middle of whatever trouble that always comes across as patronizing and somewhat insulting.

[Helen · Rating 5 out of 5]

You Are Not Alone: Hope for Hurting Parents of Troubled Kids is written by Dena Yohe. Dena is a former social worker, pastor's wife and mother of 3 children. This is a look into their life as parents of a troubled child. Their middle child, Renee, has multiple diagnosis of mental illnesses. She was a cutter, an addict to drugs and alcohol and often on the edge of suicide. Dena's story included lists to help parents watch for signs of self-harming and relapse.
Dena also included valuable information for parents who are going through this struggle. She stresses the importance of taking care of yourself, seeking help, talking to family and friends and making sure your marriage and other children are not neglected as a result of the troubled child. Dena writes about the importance of prayer, not just for the troubled child but also thankfulness for other things in your life.
The authors daughter, Renee, has also included some input in the book. She lets us know what it was like for her to go through this, how she felt about her self and what she was doing to her family. She also writes about helpful things that could have been done to ease her pain and suffering.
I think this is a really good book for parents whether they have a troubled child or not. It would be very beneficial for parents of troubled children, but also very helpful to those who know families with troubled children. I like that the author included advice from other parents and a section from grieving parents who have lost a child to this struggle. I especially like the section in the book for those who want to help. This section gives suggestions on how to be helpful and what to say and not say. The author has also included a lot of resources and a chair exercise to help with anger and loss.
I received an uncorrected proof of this book from Blogging for Books for an honest review.

[George Hawk · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent read for parents that have children that have gone prodigal.

Once I started to read this book, I could not stop. We have a mentally challenged daughter and have struggled to get the help we needed. Dena is a wealth of information on many levels in dealing with troubled youth. My wife and I have finally found help after 40 years in the wilderness. All the topics that are in the Hope for Hurting Parents workbook are exactly what hurting parents are looking for. George and Candi Hawk, Facilitators for Hope for Hurting Parents in The Villages, Fl.

[Michele · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is full of practical information, encouragement and hope for parents who have children who are struggling with life due to any number of issues. As a Christian, I appreciate the biblical truths that are woven throughout the book. There are a lot of resources listed at the end of the book for further reading which is very helpful. This is one of the best books I've read as a parent of an addicted loved one.

[Jeannie · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is ok. Has support for parents but far too religious for my taste. With that said, it has some merit.

[Lynn Dickerson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Christian encouragement for those with troubled adolescent or adult children I found it helpful