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She Made Me Laugh: My Friend Nora Ephron
“A very personal remembrance of Nora Ephron’s life and loves, and her ups and downs” (USA TODAY) by her long-time and dear friend Richard Cohen in a hilarious, blunt, raucous, and poignant recollection of their decades-long friendship.
Nora Ephron (1941–2012) was a phenomenal personality, journalist, essayist, novelist, playwright, Oscar-nominated screenwriter, and movie director (Sleepless in Seattle; You’ve Got Mail; When Harry Met Sally; Heartburn; Julie & Julia). She wrote a slew of bestsellers (I Feel Bad About My Neck: And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman; I Remember Nothing: And Other Reflections; Scribble, Scribble: Notes on the Media; Crazy Salad: Some Things About Women). She was celebrated by Hollywood, embraced by literary New York, and adored by legions of fans throughout the world.
Award-winning journalist Richard Cohen, wrote this about She Made Me Laugh: “I call this book a third-person memoir. It is about my closest friend, Nora Ephron, and the lives we lived together and how her life got to be bigger until, finally, she wrote her last work, the play, Lucky Guy, about a newspaper columnist dying of cancer while she herself was dying of cancer. I have interviewed many of her other friends—Mike Nichols, Tom Hanks, Steven Spielberg, Meryl Streep, Arianna Huffington—but the book is not a name-dropping star turn, but an attempt to capture a remarkable woman who meant so much to so many other women.”
With “the nuanced perspective of a confidant” (The Washington Post), She Made Me Laugh “is a fine tribute to a fascinating woman” (Houston Chronicle): “Nora would be pleased” (People, “Book of the Week”).
Nora Ephron (1941–2012) was a phenomenal personality, journalist, essayist, novelist, playwright, Oscar-nominated screenwriter, and movie director (Sleepless in Seattle; You’ve Got Mail; When Harry Met Sally; Heartburn; Julie & Julia). She wrote a slew of bestsellers (I Feel Bad About My Neck: And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman; I Remember Nothing: And Other Reflections; Scribble, Scribble: Notes on the Media; Crazy Salad: Some Things About Women). She was celebrated by Hollywood, embraced by literary New York, and adored by legions of fans throughout the world.
Award-winning journalist Richard Cohen, wrote this about She Made Me Laugh: “I call this book a third-person memoir. It is about my closest friend, Nora Ephron, and the lives we lived together and how her life got to be bigger until, finally, she wrote her last work, the play, Lucky Guy, about a newspaper columnist dying of cancer while she herself was dying of cancer. I have interviewed many of her other friends—Mike Nichols, Tom Hanks, Steven Spielberg, Meryl Streep, Arianna Huffington—but the book is not a name-dropping star turn, but an attempt to capture a remarkable woman who meant so much to so many other women.”
With “the nuanced perspective of a confidant” (The Washington Post), She Made Me Laugh “is a fine tribute to a fascinating woman” (Houston Chronicle): “Nora would be pleased” (People, “Book of the Week”).
320 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 6, 2016
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September 25, 2016
3 stars means he didn't make me laugh.
Well, Nora might have made the author Richard Cohen laugh, but he sure didn’t make me laugh. For the first half of the book, I was all messed up. Although the writer obviously loved Nora (famous for I Feel Bad about My Neck: And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman and the movie "Sleepless in Seattle," among other brilliant works), the anecdotes he chose to share were ones that made Nora sound like a controlling and uncaring bitch. But calling someone a bitch is so acceptable these days, it’s like they’re wearing a badge that says two things: “Don’t mess with me.” And “Aren’t I cool that I don’t care what other people think?” So it wasn’t just that I thought she was a bitch, I thought she really wasn’t a very nice person. And thus the head-messing. The pedestal she was standing on had already started crumbling when I read her sister Delia’s excellent memoir, Sister Mother Husband Dog: Etc., and when I watched Nora's son’s equally excellent 2015 documentary called “Everything Is Copy.” But for some reason, this book knocked the pedestal over—at least until I reached the half-way mark.
Reading this book made me have some ah-ha moments, like how I projected onto Nora things I wanted her to be—loving, warm, empathetic, forever generous and nice. And lo and behold, these weren’t traits she displayed very often. She was bossy and controlling and arrogant and she didn’t like to show emotion, seeing it as a sign of weakness. She intimidated everyone, even her close friends. She's way dominant. I wanted her to be softer.
And she even fired a kid! (Friends, including Tom Hanks, all laugh and make this an endearing story now.) Nora was a perfectionist and she wanted things to be just right. The kid wasn’t right for the part in Sleepless in Seattle, so she fired him and found a different actor. Who can fire a kid??? Yet, wasn’t it the right thing to do? Everyone was in shock and in awe.
So she had all these unappealing traits. But so what? Everyone is a package, everyone is flawed. And friends adored her.
For Nora, if you weren’t interesting or funny or outgoing, she’d be all “off with your head” or at the very least, you’d become an insignificant crumb and she would sweep you under the carpet, never to be seen again. I probably need a therapist to explain why that horrifies me so much, but it does. I just couldn’t stand hearing reports of her selective dinner parties where she required that everyone play games and everyone be witty. I probably imagine myself being one of the buffoons that failed miserably (and I’d like to think I was just star-struck and tongue-tied, not dumb or mediocre), and I’d be sent home crying and scarred for life. I'm devastated with the fantasy that I'd be on the chopping block. How can a dead idol have that power?
But ah, enough about my neurosis! The book! What about the book, the writing? Since Nora was a 5 star, I just assumed that the book would be, too. But I can’t really take off points just because my idol worship was getting shot down--even though I wanted to. The book itself disappointed me. My biggest complaint (and thankfully this happened mostly in the first half of the book), was that the author Cohen, a political journalist, mentioned a zillion people, most of whom I never heard of and don’t care about. Tons of names kept popping up on every page. It was boring and confusing and frustrating when I tried to follow it. It didn’t seem like the author was aware of his audience; only fellow journalists living in Washington would really appreciate hearing about all of these players.
The reason Cohen was name crazy was because he was good friends with Carl Bernstein, one of the two people who uncovered the Watergate scandal back in the Nixon days. Cohen seemed to want to relive those days, spending way too much time describing the Washington people involved in Watergate. What did all the political stuff have to do with Nora, other than the fact that Nora married Carl Bernstein? Cohen did do a good job in describing their marriage and subsequent high-profile divorce. Bernstein cheated on Nora when she was pregnant; she wrote a book and movie about it, called "Heartburn," and it was this huge scandal. That kind of juice interested me; I prefer the human drama, not a roster of Washington journalists.
Another item for the Complaint Board—Cohen would tell little anecdotes about himself, stories that had nothing to do with Nora. For example, he described a time when he met Lauren Bacall. I found myself annoyed. I don’t know you, Richard Cohen, so why the hell do I care about you meeting Lauren Bacall? Luckily, the book wasn’t overflowing with his stories, but still, a biography about Nora should only be about Nora. I loved it when he talked about their interactions, but he should have resisted the urge to talk solely about himself.
But now let me talk about the second half of the book. Cohen stopped talking about her flaws. Maybe he had felt compelled to show us her flaws right up front, just so we could see that she hadn’t totally pulled the wool over his eyes. But the result was that by the second part, I mellowed. I liked Nora again! Besides being a brilliant, funny writer, she was also an energetic crusader, a wonderful friend, a stickler for justice. She was someone who went out of her way to help her friends, and she didn’t advertise her kindness. Cohen talked about her film work, and I was riveted. I think part of the reason that I mellowed was because I learned that Meryl Streep and Tom Hanks loved her. I love both of them—for their brilliance, versatility, but also for their kindness, openness, and humility. They are two of my favorite actors. And they love Nora? Then Nora has to be wonderful, too.
Cohen also talked about Nora’s death and about the secrecy surrounding it. He talked about the love of her life—her husband Nick. He talked about all the good things she did for friends. And I got a sense of how ambitious she was, a good networker who didn’t seem to be snobby or a name-dropper. She seemed to have unending energy, right up until her death. One particularly heart-warming thing she did was have a teenage penpal (she called it a pencil-pal). Cohen included one of her letters to this young girl and it was touching and real. I loved hearing about such small but wonderful acts of kindness.
So this was definitely a roller-coaster ride for me. My need to love my idol overpowered my reading experience. I broke up with Nora but then we made up, so at least there was a happy ending for me. I ended up making a list of movies she was involved in (as either a writer or director) and I want to see them all.
It is very clear that Cohen loved Nora and wanted to share her story. Luckily, he’s a good writer, but I wished he hadn’t gone crazy listing names of people that had nothing to do with Nora. The story wasn’t chronological (at times it felt like a bunch of connected essays), which worked okay for me but might frustrate others. Most of the anecdotes really gave me a sense of who Nora was, and for that Cohen gets many points. I did want something better (more anecdotes, for sure), but I’m not sorry I read it. Other Nora fans should read it as well.
Thanks to NetGalley for the advance copy.
Well, Nora might have made the author Richard Cohen laugh, but he sure didn’t make me laugh. For the first half of the book, I was all messed up. Although the writer obviously loved Nora (famous for I Feel Bad about My Neck: And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman and the movie "Sleepless in Seattle," among other brilliant works), the anecdotes he chose to share were ones that made Nora sound like a controlling and uncaring bitch. But calling someone a bitch is so acceptable these days, it’s like they’re wearing a badge that says two things: “Don’t mess with me.” And “Aren’t I cool that I don’t care what other people think?” So it wasn’t just that I thought she was a bitch, I thought she really wasn’t a very nice person. And thus the head-messing. The pedestal she was standing on had already started crumbling when I read her sister Delia’s excellent memoir, Sister Mother Husband Dog: Etc., and when I watched Nora's son’s equally excellent 2015 documentary called “Everything Is Copy.” But for some reason, this book knocked the pedestal over—at least until I reached the half-way mark.
Reading this book made me have some ah-ha moments, like how I projected onto Nora things I wanted her to be—loving, warm, empathetic, forever generous and nice. And lo and behold, these weren’t traits she displayed very often. She was bossy and controlling and arrogant and she didn’t like to show emotion, seeing it as a sign of weakness. She intimidated everyone, even her close friends. She's way dominant. I wanted her to be softer.
And she even fired a kid! (Friends, including Tom Hanks, all laugh and make this an endearing story now.) Nora was a perfectionist and she wanted things to be just right. The kid wasn’t right for the part in Sleepless in Seattle, so she fired him and found a different actor. Who can fire a kid??? Yet, wasn’t it the right thing to do? Everyone was in shock and in awe.
So she had all these unappealing traits. But so what? Everyone is a package, everyone is flawed. And friends adored her.
For Nora, if you weren’t interesting or funny or outgoing, she’d be all “off with your head” or at the very least, you’d become an insignificant crumb and she would sweep you under the carpet, never to be seen again. I probably need a therapist to explain why that horrifies me so much, but it does. I just couldn’t stand hearing reports of her selective dinner parties where she required that everyone play games and everyone be witty. I probably imagine myself being one of the buffoons that failed miserably (and I’d like to think I was just star-struck and tongue-tied, not dumb or mediocre), and I’d be sent home crying and scarred for life. I'm devastated with the fantasy that I'd be on the chopping block. How can a dead idol have that power?
But ah, enough about my neurosis! The book! What about the book, the writing? Since Nora was a 5 star, I just assumed that the book would be, too. But I can’t really take off points just because my idol worship was getting shot down--even though I wanted to. The book itself disappointed me. My biggest complaint (and thankfully this happened mostly in the first half of the book), was that the author Cohen, a political journalist, mentioned a zillion people, most of whom I never heard of and don’t care about. Tons of names kept popping up on every page. It was boring and confusing and frustrating when I tried to follow it. It didn’t seem like the author was aware of his audience; only fellow journalists living in Washington would really appreciate hearing about all of these players.
The reason Cohen was name crazy was because he was good friends with Carl Bernstein, one of the two people who uncovered the Watergate scandal back in the Nixon days. Cohen seemed to want to relive those days, spending way too much time describing the Washington people involved in Watergate. What did all the political stuff have to do with Nora, other than the fact that Nora married Carl Bernstein? Cohen did do a good job in describing their marriage and subsequent high-profile divorce. Bernstein cheated on Nora when she was pregnant; she wrote a book and movie about it, called "Heartburn," and it was this huge scandal. That kind of juice interested me; I prefer the human drama, not a roster of Washington journalists.
Another item for the Complaint Board—Cohen would tell little anecdotes about himself, stories that had nothing to do with Nora. For example, he described a time when he met Lauren Bacall. I found myself annoyed. I don’t know you, Richard Cohen, so why the hell do I care about you meeting Lauren Bacall? Luckily, the book wasn’t overflowing with his stories, but still, a biography about Nora should only be about Nora. I loved it when he talked about their interactions, but he should have resisted the urge to talk solely about himself.
But now let me talk about the second half of the book. Cohen stopped talking about her flaws. Maybe he had felt compelled to show us her flaws right up front, just so we could see that she hadn’t totally pulled the wool over his eyes. But the result was that by the second part, I mellowed. I liked Nora again! Besides being a brilliant, funny writer, she was also an energetic crusader, a wonderful friend, a stickler for justice. She was someone who went out of her way to help her friends, and she didn’t advertise her kindness. Cohen talked about her film work, and I was riveted. I think part of the reason that I mellowed was because I learned that Meryl Streep and Tom Hanks loved her. I love both of them—for their brilliance, versatility, but also for their kindness, openness, and humility. They are two of my favorite actors. And they love Nora? Then Nora has to be wonderful, too.
Cohen also talked about Nora’s death and about the secrecy surrounding it. He talked about the love of her life—her husband Nick. He talked about all the good things she did for friends. And I got a sense of how ambitious she was, a good networker who didn’t seem to be snobby or a name-dropper. She seemed to have unending energy, right up until her death. One particularly heart-warming thing she did was have a teenage penpal (she called it a pencil-pal). Cohen included one of her letters to this young girl and it was touching and real. I loved hearing about such small but wonderful acts of kindness.
So this was definitely a roller-coaster ride for me. My need to love my idol overpowered my reading experience. I broke up with Nora but then we made up, so at least there was a happy ending for me. I ended up making a list of movies she was involved in (as either a writer or director) and I want to see them all.
It is very clear that Cohen loved Nora and wanted to share her story. Luckily, he’s a good writer, but I wished he hadn’t gone crazy listing names of people that had nothing to do with Nora. The story wasn’t chronological (at times it felt like a bunch of connected essays), which worked okay for me but might frustrate others. Most of the anecdotes really gave me a sense of who Nora was, and for that Cohen gets many points. I did want something better (more anecdotes, for sure), but I’m not sorry I read it. Other Nora fans should read it as well.
Thanks to NetGalley for the advance copy.
July 26, 2016
3.5 Stars rounded up
Richard Cohen’s ‘She Made Me Laugh” is about his friendship for over 40 years with Nora Ephron, written from the heart. I suspect Nora Ephron would approve.
This isn’t a traditional biography, it’s partly a memoir, travel journal, throw in a few recipes and the sweet stuff: a love story to a woman he admired, loved and misses. A non-traditional love story, perhaps. Cohen refers to it as a third-person memoir.
You can’t really talk about Nora Ephron without talking about her career as a writer.
Cohen begins in the early years when she was a reporter, but she started out, at Newsweek, as a mail girl. A good deal of this book is devoted to Nora’s early years, as a child growing up in Beverly Hills, later moving to the northeast with her parents, and later still attending college on the east coast.
There’s a large amount of this book that covers Ephron’s friends, mostly Cohen’s friends as well. I wasn’t as interested in that. I was more interested in the Nora he knew, the Nora who was just his friend, the “girl next door.” Without the glamour and glitz, the name-dropping. I got that in snippets. It was touching to see those who kept in touch with her as the years passed. I was pleasantly surprised by her continued friendship with Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson.
Closer toward the end of the book, there’s a section about Nora’s early years with the children, the call of summer, leaving the city itself and heading for their summer home, and hearing the geese that she used to love hearing when the children were running and giggling alongside her. As 70 approached, these smells and sounds became a reminder of the past, a ticking clock. Reminders of time that is gone, people who are no longer with us. One of many tear-inducing moments.
Things I found out, things I loved about Nora:
Dorothy Parker was one of her role models
She had a “pen pal” named Fabiola, through the Writer’s Guild Pen Pal project. Included are two of her letters to Fabiola. A very touching addition.
She cooked for her own wedding!
Pub Date: 6 September 2016
Many thanks to Simon & Schuster, to NetGalley and to author Richard Cohen for providing me with an advanced copy.
Richard Cohen’s ‘She Made Me Laugh” is about his friendship for over 40 years with Nora Ephron, written from the heart. I suspect Nora Ephron would approve.
This isn’t a traditional biography, it’s partly a memoir, travel journal, throw in a few recipes and the sweet stuff: a love story to a woman he admired, loved and misses. A non-traditional love story, perhaps. Cohen refers to it as a third-person memoir.
You can’t really talk about Nora Ephron without talking about her career as a writer.
Cohen begins in the early years when she was a reporter, but she started out, at Newsweek, as a mail girl. A good deal of this book is devoted to Nora’s early years, as a child growing up in Beverly Hills, later moving to the northeast with her parents, and later still attending college on the east coast.
There’s a large amount of this book that covers Ephron’s friends, mostly Cohen’s friends as well. I wasn’t as interested in that. I was more interested in the Nora he knew, the Nora who was just his friend, the “girl next door.” Without the glamour and glitz, the name-dropping. I got that in snippets. It was touching to see those who kept in touch with her as the years passed. I was pleasantly surprised by her continued friendship with Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson.
Closer toward the end of the book, there’s a section about Nora’s early years with the children, the call of summer, leaving the city itself and heading for their summer home, and hearing the geese that she used to love hearing when the children were running and giggling alongside her. As 70 approached, these smells and sounds became a reminder of the past, a ticking clock. Reminders of time that is gone, people who are no longer with us. One of many tear-inducing moments.
Things I found out, things I loved about Nora:
Dorothy Parker was one of her role models
She had a “pen pal” named Fabiola, through the Writer’s Guild Pen Pal project. Included are two of her letters to Fabiola. A very touching addition.
She cooked for her own wedding!
Pub Date: 6 September 2016
Many thanks to Simon & Schuster, to NetGalley and to author Richard Cohen for providing me with an advanced copy.
August 30, 2016
She Made Me Laugh: My Friend Nora Ephron by Richard Cohen was an interesting personal take on Nora Ephron. Richard Cohen, who is a journalist and was one of her close friends for many years has written a book that reads more like a grouping of short essays than a biography.
Mr. Cohen presents Nora as a very human, strong, blunt and flawed person. She was a woman who never felt beautiful. She was both insecure and easily hurt and yet very sure of herself and her beliefs. She was a protective mother, but not until her third marriage was she completely happy in a marriage. She worked hard as a writer in newspapers, magazines and blogs, was a screenwriter and director, novelist and playwright. She could be the best friend you ever had or she could cut you out of her life completely.
This book was not what I was expecting. The stories were not in a consistent chronological order and they are written in a very stark style. I did feel that Mr. Cohen cared deeply about Nora and her friendship, but I don’t feel this book gives us any different insights into her life than any of her own writings or interviews except to tell us who were her friends by name and where they vacationed.
Thank you to Simon & Schuster and Net Galley for allowing me to read an eARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Mr. Cohen presents Nora as a very human, strong, blunt and flawed person. She was a woman who never felt beautiful. She was both insecure and easily hurt and yet very sure of herself and her beliefs. She was a protective mother, but not until her third marriage was she completely happy in a marriage. She worked hard as a writer in newspapers, magazines and blogs, was a screenwriter and director, novelist and playwright. She could be the best friend you ever had or she could cut you out of her life completely.
This book was not what I was expecting. The stories were not in a consistent chronological order and they are written in a very stark style. I did feel that Mr. Cohen cared deeply about Nora and her friendship, but I don’t feel this book gives us any different insights into her life than any of her own writings or interviews except to tell us who were her friends by name and where they vacationed.
Thank you to Simon & Schuster and Net Galley for allowing me to read an eARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
February 10, 2017
‘SHE MADE ME LAUGH’ MADE ME CRY.
“Nora had what the army calls a command presence. It was somehow picked up by, among others, passing waiters or, it seemed, even cabdrivers who were blocks away. She had immense self-confidence, a ready wit, a capacious hard drive of a mind, and absolute certainty. Some people feared her, a few people hated her, but nobody ignored her.”—(Kindle Locations 375-377)
Nora Ephron has long danced at the periphery of my fantasy circle of incredibly amazing contemporaries. Tough, brilliant, and lovable. I’m grateful to Richard Cohen for his intimate portrait of this sparkling lady: She Made Me Laugh: My Friend Nora Ephron.
Recommendation: Especially show-biz buffs, this is one you should read.
“…she was magical.”—(Kindle Location 830)
Simon & Schuster. Kindle Edition. 320 pages.
“Nora had what the army calls a command presence. It was somehow picked up by, among others, passing waiters or, it seemed, even cabdrivers who were blocks away. She had immense self-confidence, a ready wit, a capacious hard drive of a mind, and absolute certainty. Some people feared her, a few people hated her, but nobody ignored her.”—(Kindle Locations 375-377)
Nora Ephron has long danced at the periphery of my fantasy circle of incredibly amazing contemporaries. Tough, brilliant, and lovable. I’m grateful to Richard Cohen for his intimate portrait of this sparkling lady: She Made Me Laugh: My Friend Nora Ephron.
Recommendation: Especially show-biz buffs, this is one you should read.
“…she was magical.”—(Kindle Location 830)
Simon & Schuster. Kindle Edition. 320 pages.
October 9, 2016
She Made Me Laugh: My Friend Nora Ephron, notable columnist at the Washington Post Richard Cohen fondly recalls his nearly 40 year friendship with the extraordinary late celebrity journalist, author, film director Nora Ephron (1941-2012). Cohen was a close and trusted member of Ephron's inner circle, sharing an loving friendship that included mutual friends, entertainment at dinner parties, the best restaurants, and travel abroad to exciting locations. Nora knew everyone, according to Cohen and was his mentor, counselor and advisor in nearly everything, he never stopped being amazed at the high amount of others she also helped and mentored.
After Ephron's 1962 graduation from Wellesley, Ephron declared she wanted to be a writer. Moving to NYC working for Newsweek, she started out working in the mailroom. As a daughter of Hollywood screenwriters she was well connected, dropped famous names effortlessly, networked, dated several editors, authors, as well as others who later became famous. Nora advanced to positions where her writing was taken seriously, writing not only about social issues but her own life. "A Few Words About Breasts" was her 1972 essay for Esquire Magazine that gained her more fame.
Ephron's second husband Carl Bernstein (m.1976-1980) was the basis for her classic autobiographical novel "Heartburn" (1983). Bernstein was established in Washington D.C. where he gained acclaim writing about the Watergate scandal. Ephron preferred living in NYC, the Washington atmosphere nor culture never appealed to her liking. Cohen was cautious about the marriage calling his friend Bernstein a "prowler"-- enjoying the company of women not his wife. Bernstein insisted (legally) to be portrayed as a loving father of their sons Jacob and Max when Nora wrote about the demise/dissolution of their marriage.
Finding new direction in screenwriting and directing: Nora enjoyed enormous success with a string of hit films: starting with "Heartburn" with Meryl Steep and Jack Nicholson, she was thrilled to be portrayed by the talented Streep. "Silkwood", "When Harry Met Sally", "You've Got Mail", "Sleepless In Seattle" "Julie and Julia" were highly successful some won awards, yet there were several disappointing flops. In 1998 when she hired her personal assistant J.J. Sucha, who had previously worked for Rosie O'Donnell and David Letterman, she said: "I am a horrible person to work for, demanding, impatient, and I will make your life miserable. I am very serious." Sucha replied that this was just the thing he was looking for, and remained employed by her until her death.
Close friends and fans were stunned when Nora died expectantly of pneumonia related to acute myeloid leukemia at New York Hospital in June of 2012. Once telling Oprah she feared dying, she simply didn't want news of her illness known, and never wrote about it. Cohen was surprised news of her condition didn't leak to the media, and he had to be forgiven for not telling, but people understood. At the well attended memorial service of Vanity Fair columnist Christopher Hitchinson in NYC-- who wrote about his own dying, Cohen spotted Nora, looking terribly ill herself, when he went to talk to her-- she had already slipped away.
After Ephron's 1962 graduation from Wellesley, Ephron declared she wanted to be a writer. Moving to NYC working for Newsweek, she started out working in the mailroom. As a daughter of Hollywood screenwriters she was well connected, dropped famous names effortlessly, networked, dated several editors, authors, as well as others who later became famous. Nora advanced to positions where her writing was taken seriously, writing not only about social issues but her own life. "A Few Words About Breasts" was her 1972 essay for Esquire Magazine that gained her more fame.
Ephron's second husband Carl Bernstein (m.1976-1980) was the basis for her classic autobiographical novel "Heartburn" (1983). Bernstein was established in Washington D.C. where he gained acclaim writing about the Watergate scandal. Ephron preferred living in NYC, the Washington atmosphere nor culture never appealed to her liking. Cohen was cautious about the marriage calling his friend Bernstein a "prowler"-- enjoying the company of women not his wife. Bernstein insisted (legally) to be portrayed as a loving father of their sons Jacob and Max when Nora wrote about the demise/dissolution of their marriage.
Finding new direction in screenwriting and directing: Nora enjoyed enormous success with a string of hit films: starting with "Heartburn" with Meryl Steep and Jack Nicholson, she was thrilled to be portrayed by the talented Streep. "Silkwood", "When Harry Met Sally", "You've Got Mail", "Sleepless In Seattle" "Julie and Julia" were highly successful some won awards, yet there were several disappointing flops. In 1998 when she hired her personal assistant J.J. Sucha, who had previously worked for Rosie O'Donnell and David Letterman, she said: "I am a horrible person to work for, demanding, impatient, and I will make your life miserable. I am very serious." Sucha replied that this was just the thing he was looking for, and remained employed by her until her death.
Close friends and fans were stunned when Nora died expectantly of pneumonia related to acute myeloid leukemia at New York Hospital in June of 2012. Once telling Oprah she feared dying, she simply didn't want news of her illness known, and never wrote about it. Cohen was surprised news of her condition didn't leak to the media, and he had to be forgiven for not telling, but people understood. At the well attended memorial service of Vanity Fair columnist Christopher Hitchinson in NYC-- who wrote about his own dying, Cohen spotted Nora, looking terribly ill herself, when he went to talk to her-- she had already slipped away.
July 27, 2016
Huge fan of Nora Ephron, not so much of columnist, Richard Cohen from the Washington Post. It's hard to imagine Nora and Richard friends without Carl Bernstein around. Although I must admit I did enjoy his style of writing for this book; it reads more like a newspaper journalist wrote it than an author of novels! That's a positive for me.
Give me the facts, a comment or two, and let's move on. No unnecessary chitchat required. I vacillated between 3.5 and 4.0, but the subject matter, Nora herself pulled it up.
Thank you Netgalley for the pleasure of reading this book.
Notes:
Nora Ephron the writer, director of "Sleepless in Seattle" etc. not Nora Roberts, the author.
Richard Cohen the Washington Post columnist, not Richard M. Cohen, husband of Meredith Vieira, and author.
Carl Bernstein, part of duo from Washington Post who broke Watergate scandal, with Bob Woodward. CARL was married to Nora, and cheated on her while she was pregnant with their second child and their first was only 13 months old. I DO NOT LIKE CARL Bernstein.
Give me the facts, a comment or two, and let's move on. No unnecessary chitchat required. I vacillated between 3.5 and 4.0, but the subject matter, Nora herself pulled it up.
Thank you Netgalley for the pleasure of reading this book.
Notes:
Nora Ephron the writer, director of "Sleepless in Seattle" etc. not Nora Roberts, the author.
Richard Cohen the Washington Post columnist, not Richard M. Cohen, husband of Meredith Vieira, and author.
Carl Bernstein, part of duo from Washington Post who broke Watergate scandal, with Bob Woodward. CARL was married to Nora, and cheated on her while she was pregnant with their second child and their first was only 13 months old. I DO NOT LIKE CARL Bernstein.
January 25, 2017
This book was not interesting to me at all. It got better a little over half way through. The author drops a lot of names, a lot. Sometimes the stories seemed to be more about other people than about Nora. His stories about Nora did not come across as interesting or funny, more bitchy and bossy.
This is a bookclub pick so I finished it, otherwise I would have given up.
This is a bookclub pick so I finished it, otherwise I would have given up.
September 17, 2017
This book was not great. It seemed rushed. As though he wanted to market off her death. I feel awful saying that, but it's confusing as to why there was so many errors in this book. The timeline constantly jumped back and forth and it never seemed like a full story was told. There were tons of type-o's. The biggest one was the spelling of Jon Hamm's name (sometimes including an "H" in Jon, sometimes not. How did no one catch this before print?!) In his introduction it sounded like this was going to be a reporter's account of Nora. He heard so many stories about her after her death that he knew nothing about... and he felt he was one of her closest friends. How did everyone feel this way, too? I thought he would talk to these people and we would get multiple stories of Nora (similar to the documentary her son did, but in book form and more in depth). Instead we got half stories that were greatly influenced by the author (There was a little too much of the author to be honest. Was this a biography or an auto-biography?). It was all very disappointing. I love all things Ephron and I was very much looking forward to this book. If you want the good stuff check our her sister, Delia's book of essays, her son's movie, or really, just her own work. It's all there. This needed a couple more years and a thousand more edits before the public ever saw it.
January 7, 2017
What a phenomenal memoir of a woman, who lived life to the fullest. Nora Ephron's story is told with great reverence and love by one of her best friends, Richard Cohen.
Although names, famous and not-so-famous, litter the story of Nora, it is her personality that shines through. From journalist to author to playwright to director, Ephron does it all. She is multi-talented, and yet is a person that anyone would wish to know personally. She is a fierce friend, gathering friends far and wide...knowing everyone, connecting everyone, but often in intimate settings that show her love of the Round Table discussions held over dinner.
Although names, famous and not-so-famous, litter the story of Nora, it is her personality that shines through. From journalist to author to playwright to director, Ephron does it all. She is multi-talented, and yet is a person that anyone would wish to know personally. She is a fierce friend, gathering friends far and wide...knowing everyone, connecting everyone, but often in intimate settings that show her love of the Round Table discussions held over dinner.
October 23, 2016
Did not like this book at all, nothing made me laugh. The writing style was atrocious !
July 24, 2016
I couldn't be more happy when I received the notification from NetGalley that I could view, read and review She Made me Laugh - My Friend Nora Ephron - by Richard Cohen.
To me a dream.
I read it immediately!
The book published by Simon & Schuster tells the life-story of Nora Ephron my favorite director, and one of my constant inspirations.
I absolutely adore her wonderful and stunning love-stories. When Harry met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, You've got mail, fabulous, technically perfect.
I didn't know nothing of her 'till now. I just knew I love his movies.
I thought that thanks to this books I would have discover her private and public life. I haven't been deluded.
This book is beautiful, felt, written with the love of a sincere friend plenty of memories to share with his readers.
Richard Cohen one of his best friends, will tell you wonderful anecdotes that will permit you to discover the great writer, reporter, journalist, screenwriter and director with great intellectual honesty and thanks also to a friendship with her long more than 40 years.
What a screenwriter, Nora Ephron. I remember the first time I saw the poster of When Harry Met Sally in my city.
What a story When Harry Met Sally. I consider When Harry met Sally a masterpiece of the genre like also Sleepless in Seattle and You've got Mail.
I watched You've got mail a lot of times in original!
Sharon a correspondent of mine sent me that. I remember I cried like a kid when I received that VHS.
Her characters intelligent, in general the protagonists are journalists, now I understand the reason. Nora Ephron was also a reporter.
Men in her movies creative and smart ones. Not abstracts, but real, and with a very good sense of humor. Her love-stories cleaned, cerebral, intelligent, but tender as well.
The characters of Annie, Sally, Kathleen in search for a relationship but at the same time independent and realized women.Perfect lines, times, soundtracks. Her love-stories are spectaculars.
This book by Richard Cohen She Made me Laugh has been a complete and stunning discovery. Most of the movies by Nora Ephron for example autobiographical...But we will see it later.
If you want to discover the story of the most known newspapers and magazines of the USA go for it. There is the complete story. Or close to it.
The reporter, Richard Cohen a journalist of the "Washington Post" met the first time Ephron thanks to Carl Bernstein.
The name of this reporter pretty known don't you think so? He was one of "the two kids" as were considered Carl Bernstein and Bob Woodward at the Post during the years of the Watergate.Both very young, Bernstein and Woodward thanks to their their investigative work,
brought at the resignation of Richard Nixon and at the convictions of a lot of people close to the president.
Later Carl Bernstein married Nora Ephron.
Nora Ephron was born in a privileged environment and in a Jewish rich family. She was in the environment and surrounded by wonderful mind and friends, intellectuals, writers, reporters. She studied in the best schools of the USA like also all her friends. Her parents were two playwrights and screenwriters.
Ephron had all the cards to become a very successful woman. Reading this book is like to read the story of an Olympus of wonderful, creative people.
A fairy-tales, because you will meet only very important and intelligent people of the media and movies and you will enter in a different dimension. But of course there was more than this in Nora Ephron.
There was talent and geniality.
That talent that just few people have the luck to possess. That talent able to make the difference, that talent that can't be found anywhere. That talent that is just in that person.
At 15 years Nora Ephron's mom and dad started to drink too much becoming addicted. It was a drama she wouldn't never forgot.
She started to work as a mail girl for Newsweek becoming a clipper pretty soon, and later she worked for the New York Post and many many other very prestigious newsmagazines and magazine (The New Yorker for example) including the Huffington Post in recent years. When Nora Ephron started the profession of journalist girls not taken in consideration for the work of reporters too seriously. Voracious readers she tried to read all the drafts of the books that would have been released soon.
Ephron wasn't interested to become just a housewife. She wanted to realize herself, working. She wrote, till at the end although she has always avoided to speak of her illness. Clearly a big torment to her.
Cohen talks largely of her illness, a leukemia, and the long Calvary, of the beloved writer and screenwriter.
She was scared Ephron of falling sick with a cancer, and this one was one of her biggest fears.
She was a strong lady. Someone who didn't like to hug people. She loved to demonstrate her friendship differently. She was a woman and deciding to be a reporter, a writer, a screenwriter, a director, man's works she needed to be respected and so she couldn't be too soft, to me, but very strong and firm. Personal view.
When the wife of Martin Short died, she brought to the comedian wagons of food. At the end the actor told her that they were just him and his children and he had food. She replied him that he would have had much more food.
Nora Ephron loved round tables. There are no differences in round tables, no one is "the boss", no one is guiding the conversation. People, true, are more relaxed. Her dinners remembered because Ephron loved to ask to her guests some questions. She loved to stimulate their fantasy. In these special evenings invited actors, directors, reporters. She didn't eat a lot but her dinners sumptuous.
Strong character, famous for firing people during the first week of work during Sleepless in Seattle she also fired the first kid played the role of Joshua, the son of Sam.
Once Cohen said to VF USA that to him Nora Ephron could be a sort of dictator of Argentina the writer, screenwriter, reporter, pretty upset for it. She had a reserved character, in fact.
After the end of her marriage with Bernstein, and pregnant of Max their son, Nora Ephron back to New York City and other places as well. Soon she released Heartburn. She was becoming a great screenwriter.
The best gift donated her by life was Nick, the third husband (the first one Dan Greenburg.)
A wonderful couple, united, they lived for a long long time together, till the end of Nora Ephron.
And now the biggest discovery: the other face of Harry, the man inspired the character of Harry, in When Harry met Sally is Richard Cohen. There is, as said before in fact. a lot of Nora Ephron and her friends in her movies..
He was of inspiration because Nora Ephron and Richard Cohen for what told by the writer haven't never experienced any sexual intercourse.
Cohen adds that his writings, his conversations with Ephron, this asexual friendship were part of the movie and part of the soul of Harry, one of the funniest wonderful character ever portrayed on the big screen thanks to a brilliant Billy Crystal.
Although Nora Ephron had her own character, so a strong one, someone who wanted to run other people's lives, and someone who experienced everything in her life during the 1960s from marijuana to cocaine, passing through an abortion,- she was a feminist, surrounded by feminists - for sure on the big screen the love she wanted to donate to the viewers was a cleaned and intelligent one. A good love where the partner supportive but at the same time independent from the other one.
Her legacy is this one.
In the book many more facts, stories, like the trips in Italy and in other part of the world of Cohen, his wife, Carl Bernstein and Ephron. Her illness, a big pain for all the people loved her.
You will find a lot of pages dedicated to Nora Ephron's illness. There is to say that the screenwriter experienced many departures during her life and all the times always respected her friends, spending time with them during these difficult times, interrupting movies for being present at the funerals of her friends.
Christmas is not so distant.
I would warmly suggest you this book also as a Christmas gift if you know someone who appreciated Nora Ephron's movies because trust me, it is funny, nice, entertaining and well, it will transport you in another dimension, with famous actors, and big reporters big magazines and newsmagazines. It will transport you in the sophisticated intellectual life of this woman with a great open mind.
It's a genuine book She Made Me Laugh, a good and tender memoir. At the end you can just appreciate the strength of one of the most beloved icons of the American Cinema looked through the lenses of one of his best friends.
The real Harry! ;-)
To me a dream.
I read it immediately!
The book published by Simon & Schuster tells the life-story of Nora Ephron my favorite director, and one of my constant inspirations.
I absolutely adore her wonderful and stunning love-stories. When Harry met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, You've got mail, fabulous, technically perfect.
I didn't know nothing of her 'till now. I just knew I love his movies.
I thought that thanks to this books I would have discover her private and public life. I haven't been deluded.
This book is beautiful, felt, written with the love of a sincere friend plenty of memories to share with his readers.
Richard Cohen one of his best friends, will tell you wonderful anecdotes that will permit you to discover the great writer, reporter, journalist, screenwriter and director with great intellectual honesty and thanks also to a friendship with her long more than 40 years.
What a screenwriter, Nora Ephron. I remember the first time I saw the poster of When Harry Met Sally in my city.
What a story When Harry Met Sally. I consider When Harry met Sally a masterpiece of the genre like also Sleepless in Seattle and You've got Mail.
I watched You've got mail a lot of times in original!
Sharon a correspondent of mine sent me that. I remember I cried like a kid when I received that VHS.
Her characters intelligent, in general the protagonists are journalists, now I understand the reason. Nora Ephron was also a reporter.
Men in her movies creative and smart ones. Not abstracts, but real, and with a very good sense of humor. Her love-stories cleaned, cerebral, intelligent, but tender as well.
The characters of Annie, Sally, Kathleen in search for a relationship but at the same time independent and realized women.Perfect lines, times, soundtracks. Her love-stories are spectaculars.
This book by Richard Cohen She Made me Laugh has been a complete and stunning discovery. Most of the movies by Nora Ephron for example autobiographical...But we will see it later.
If you want to discover the story of the most known newspapers and magazines of the USA go for it. There is the complete story. Or close to it.
The reporter, Richard Cohen a journalist of the "Washington Post" met the first time Ephron thanks to Carl Bernstein.
The name of this reporter pretty known don't you think so? He was one of "the two kids" as were considered Carl Bernstein and Bob Woodward at the Post during the years of the Watergate.Both very young, Bernstein and Woodward thanks to their their investigative work,
brought at the resignation of Richard Nixon and at the convictions of a lot of people close to the president.
Later Carl Bernstein married Nora Ephron.
Nora Ephron was born in a privileged environment and in a Jewish rich family. She was in the environment and surrounded by wonderful mind and friends, intellectuals, writers, reporters. She studied in the best schools of the USA like also all her friends. Her parents were two playwrights and screenwriters.
Ephron had all the cards to become a very successful woman. Reading this book is like to read the story of an Olympus of wonderful, creative people.
A fairy-tales, because you will meet only very important and intelligent people of the media and movies and you will enter in a different dimension. But of course there was more than this in Nora Ephron.
There was talent and geniality.
That talent that just few people have the luck to possess. That talent able to make the difference, that talent that can't be found anywhere. That talent that is just in that person.
At 15 years Nora Ephron's mom and dad started to drink too much becoming addicted. It was a drama she wouldn't never forgot.
She started to work as a mail girl for Newsweek becoming a clipper pretty soon, and later she worked for the New York Post and many many other very prestigious newsmagazines and magazine (The New Yorker for example) including the Huffington Post in recent years. When Nora Ephron started the profession of journalist girls not taken in consideration for the work of reporters too seriously. Voracious readers she tried to read all the drafts of the books that would have been released soon.
Ephron wasn't interested to become just a housewife. She wanted to realize herself, working. She wrote, till at the end although she has always avoided to speak of her illness. Clearly a big torment to her.
Cohen talks largely of her illness, a leukemia, and the long Calvary, of the beloved writer and screenwriter.
She was scared Ephron of falling sick with a cancer, and this one was one of her biggest fears.
She was a strong lady. Someone who didn't like to hug people. She loved to demonstrate her friendship differently. She was a woman and deciding to be a reporter, a writer, a screenwriter, a director, man's works she needed to be respected and so she couldn't be too soft, to me, but very strong and firm. Personal view.
When the wife of Martin Short died, she brought to the comedian wagons of food. At the end the actor told her that they were just him and his children and he had food. She replied him that he would have had much more food.
Nora Ephron loved round tables. There are no differences in round tables, no one is "the boss", no one is guiding the conversation. People, true, are more relaxed. Her dinners remembered because Ephron loved to ask to her guests some questions. She loved to stimulate their fantasy. In these special evenings invited actors, directors, reporters. She didn't eat a lot but her dinners sumptuous.
Strong character, famous for firing people during the first week of work during Sleepless in Seattle she also fired the first kid played the role of Joshua, the son of Sam.
Once Cohen said to VF USA that to him Nora Ephron could be a sort of dictator of Argentina the writer, screenwriter, reporter, pretty upset for it. She had a reserved character, in fact.
After the end of her marriage with Bernstein, and pregnant of Max their son, Nora Ephron back to New York City and other places as well. Soon she released Heartburn. She was becoming a great screenwriter.
The best gift donated her by life was Nick, the third husband (the first one Dan Greenburg.)
A wonderful couple, united, they lived for a long long time together, till the end of Nora Ephron.
And now the biggest discovery: the other face of Harry, the man inspired the character of Harry, in When Harry met Sally is Richard Cohen. There is, as said before in fact. a lot of Nora Ephron and her friends in her movies..
He was of inspiration because Nora Ephron and Richard Cohen for what told by the writer haven't never experienced any sexual intercourse.
Cohen adds that his writings, his conversations with Ephron, this asexual friendship were part of the movie and part of the soul of Harry, one of the funniest wonderful character ever portrayed on the big screen thanks to a brilliant Billy Crystal.
Although Nora Ephron had her own character, so a strong one, someone who wanted to run other people's lives, and someone who experienced everything in her life during the 1960s from marijuana to cocaine, passing through an abortion,- she was a feminist, surrounded by feminists - for sure on the big screen the love she wanted to donate to the viewers was a cleaned and intelligent one. A good love where the partner supportive but at the same time independent from the other one.
Her legacy is this one.
In the book many more facts, stories, like the trips in Italy and in other part of the world of Cohen, his wife, Carl Bernstein and Ephron. Her illness, a big pain for all the people loved her.
You will find a lot of pages dedicated to Nora Ephron's illness. There is to say that the screenwriter experienced many departures during her life and all the times always respected her friends, spending time with them during these difficult times, interrupting movies for being present at the funerals of her friends.
Christmas is not so distant.
I would warmly suggest you this book also as a Christmas gift if you know someone who appreciated Nora Ephron's movies because trust me, it is funny, nice, entertaining and well, it will transport you in another dimension, with famous actors, and big reporters big magazines and newsmagazines. It will transport you in the sophisticated intellectual life of this woman with a great open mind.
It's a genuine book She Made Me Laugh, a good and tender memoir. At the end you can just appreciate the strength of one of the most beloved icons of the American Cinema looked through the lenses of one of his best friends.
The real Harry! ;-)
September 9, 2016
Early on in Washington Post columnist Richard Cohen's intimate, affectionate and engaging memoir of Nora Ephron, he reveals the problem of writing about her life and their 39-year friendship: "Nora wrote about everything. She not only chronicled her life, she consumed all the best material, leaving nothing but cinders for a biographer to sift through." Fans of the filmmaker (Sleepless in Seattle, When Harry Met Sally) and author (I Feel Bad About My Neck) need not worry; Cohen's SHE MADE ME LAUGH expands and enriches Ephron's familiar anecdotes by retelling them with a keen, questioning eye and adds new personal tales and insights.
The eldest daughter of two alcoholic Hollywood screenwriters, Ephron moved to New York City in the early 1960s to become a writer. Soon, she was writing for Esquire, Ms. and the New York Times. She turned her very public marital breakup (with second husband Carl Bernstein) into the comic revenge novel Heartburn. Calling Ephron "a deft literary pickpocket," Cohen recalls how everything in her life was fair game for an article, screenplay or blog post--except her six-year battle with leukemia. Outside of her immediate family, Cohen was one of the few people she trusted with her cancer secret. (Cohen’s longtime companion, Mona Ackerman, was also battling cancer at the time and would die two months after Ephron in 2012.)
Cohen's heartfelt tribute gives fans new insight into her work process, her successes and failures, her droll wit and enormous generosity and her decision to keep her final illness out of public view.
Richard Cohen's loving and intimate memoir, SHE MADE ME LAUGH, celebrates his four-decade friendship with writer/filmmaker Nora Ephron while offering keen insights into her personal and professional life.
The eldest daughter of two alcoholic Hollywood screenwriters, Ephron moved to New York City in the early 1960s to become a writer. Soon, she was writing for Esquire, Ms. and the New York Times. She turned her very public marital breakup (with second husband Carl Bernstein) into the comic revenge novel Heartburn. Calling Ephron "a deft literary pickpocket," Cohen recalls how everything in her life was fair game for an article, screenplay or blog post--except her six-year battle with leukemia. Outside of her immediate family, Cohen was one of the few people she trusted with her cancer secret. (Cohen’s longtime companion, Mona Ackerman, was also battling cancer at the time and would die two months after Ephron in 2012.)
Cohen's heartfelt tribute gives fans new insight into her work process, her successes and failures, her droll wit and enormous generosity and her decision to keep her final illness out of public view.
Richard Cohen's loving and intimate memoir, SHE MADE ME LAUGH, celebrates his four-decade friendship with writer/filmmaker Nora Ephron while offering keen insights into her personal and professional life.
November 26, 2019
This book was so good and seemed to address all aspects of Nora Ephron. What a shame she didn't get to live longer. She was complex and talented and generous with her talents, her money, and her time.
Was amused to read that one of her favorite books as a child was Homer Price and her favorite part was the donut machine. That was mine too. I recently read it to my 8 year old grandson, who listened but was not captivated. Guess that can't compete with today's life.
A very good book by a man who was a very good friend.
Was amused to read that one of her favorite books as a child was Homer Price and her favorite part was the donut machine. That was mine too. I recently read it to my 8 year old grandson, who listened but was not captivated. Guess that can't compete with today's life.
A very good book by a man who was a very good friend.
November 2, 2016
A beautiful remembrance of a dear friend. Although Cohen's book doesn't entirely break new ground (if you have read Nora Ephron or know anything about her movies, you will see familiar things in this book), but he does give us that glimpse into her final days, the people she loved, her wit, her wisdom and her food. It is a must read for Ephron fans.
January 30, 2017
This book is so terribly written that I only pushed through because I love Nora Ephron’s work. It felt not like a biography but a self-aggrandizing tribute to Richard Cohen, the author.
In the end, I stopped halfway through. I’m sure there are other places I can read more positive things about her and in a more readable format.
In the end, I stopped halfway through. I’m sure there are other places I can read more positive things about her and in a more readable format.
August 7, 2016
So glad to be done with this freaking book. Richard Cohen was clearly in love with Nora in more than just a platonic way and as for Nora? Wow. What a manipulative bully of a person.
October 4, 2016
Loved it!
November 26, 2016
Readers who love Nora Ephron's books and movies will enjoy this book, but her self-proclaimed best friend is not as witty as she was.
February 4, 2017
Loved Nora Ephron's work but not this book.
June 19, 2020
Five stars for the subject - a fascinating, complicated woman & writer
Way less stars for the writing. For many reasons it often rubbed me the wrong way (occasional condescension, multiple attempts at mind reading instead of fact, gross obsession with describing every woman referenced in terms of their perceived level of beauty), not least of which is that for a man this guy sure does spend a lot of time making sweeping statements about how women think/feel/react/age etc.
Ultimately, this book makes me sad that Nora didn’t get the chance to write her own detailed retrospective of her life and/or career.
Way less stars for the writing. For many reasons it often rubbed me the wrong way (occasional condescension, multiple attempts at mind reading instead of fact, gross obsession with describing every woman referenced in terms of their perceived level of beauty), not least of which is that for a man this guy sure does spend a lot of time making sweeping statements about how women think/feel/react/age etc.
Ultimately, this book makes me sad that Nora didn’t get the chance to write her own detailed retrospective of her life and/or career.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 29, 2017
Nora Ephron is an interesting piece of recent American history and I'm sad to say she is past instead of present. She gave us many gifts, especially with When Harry Met Sally and You've Got Mail, two of the better Romantic Comedies with the awesome pairings of Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.
I wasn't sure how reading/listening to this would affect me as my mom is currently marching through her world with the barnacle of AML attached to her person. I think it gave me perspective. This is an enjoyable read with several occasions that may lead to tears or at least a chance to pause and think. Enjoy. Thank you Richard Cohen for writing it.
I wasn't sure how reading/listening to this would affect me as my mom is currently marching through her world with the barnacle of AML attached to her person. I think it gave me perspective. This is an enjoyable read with several occasions that may lead to tears or at least a chance to pause and think. Enjoy. Thank you Richard Cohen for writing it.
April 27, 2020
DNF at 51%
Please Note: I received an ARC copy of this book in 2016 from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
While I love Nora and all her work, books, movies this books was not the interesting and the author was supposed to have known her personally. I found it interesting in the beginning, talking about her journalist days but nothing else really stood out. the writing was awful and I wonder if that is the reason I waited so long to read it.
Please Note: I received an ARC copy of this book in 2016 from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
While I love Nora and all her work, books, movies this books was not the interesting and the author was supposed to have known her personally. I found it interesting in the beginning, talking about her journalist days but nothing else really stood out. the writing was awful and I wonder if that is the reason I waited so long to read it.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 18, 2019
I was amazed at all of the people mentioned in this book, who were friends or acquaintances of Nora. If you are in your late 60’s or older it is quite fascinating. My sister started to read it and she is in her mid fifties. She did not finish. I told her she probably didn’t relate or recognize many of the names mentioned.
July 17, 2023
3.5 stars
October 5, 2016
Please Note: I received an ARC copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect the opinions in my review in any way.
As far as writers go, few have been as influential as Nora Ephron. She wrote one of the most romantic movies of the 1980's, Sleepless In Seattle, and also one of the most caustic, Heartburn. Both are compelling classics for different reason. Writer Richard Cohen was a close friend of Nora Ephron (it just doesn't seem right to say simply, Nora), and his book shows how brilliant and groundbreaking her writing was. This is a thoughtful and well-written book. Yet, this portrayal also makes Ms. Ephron seem rather elitist, a stereotype of a "New York Intellectual".
What I liked:
There are many interesting stories and anecdotes about what a force of nature she was. Apparently, her dinner parties were legendary. I will say that the author did not shy away from painting Ms. Ephron in a negative light, at times. She would preside over a dinner table, dictating what the topic of conversation would be. Guests were expected to perform, and heaven help them if they didn't deliver an entertaining repartee (they would not be invited back and sometimes were shunned from Ms. Ephron's social circle).
Most of the time, Ms. Ephron seems totally in control. It is one of the major questions of this book as to why she kept her terminal cancer a secret from even her closest friends. Was it vanity? Did she think it would make her appear weak? Maybe she couldn't stand pity. We readers will never know, as the author never quite revealed an answer. But I think that to even her closest friends, Nora Ephron remained a mystery.
What I didn't like:
As written, Nora Ephron comes off as a colossal snob. Although, she was friends with many people who were not famous, it seems like most people were judged by their fame or notoriety. This lady enjoyed name dropping. Of course, she did know many famous people and was married to one of the most famous journalists in American history, Carl Bernstein. But all the adoration of the well-known rubbed me the wrong way.
I would have been more interested to read about what it was like to be one of the only women directors in the 80's. Did she feel like she had to be tougher and shine brighter to gain legitimacy? Was she ever slighted by producers? Again, this book makes it seem that she simple commanded respect, and it was given. I find that hard to believe.
If you enjoy the writings and works of Nora Ephron, I actually would recommend this book. But, unless you are a super fan, you may find this book to be a bit self-congratulatory.
As far as writers go, few have been as influential as Nora Ephron. She wrote one of the most romantic movies of the 1980's, Sleepless In Seattle, and also one of the most caustic, Heartburn. Both are compelling classics for different reason. Writer Richard Cohen was a close friend of Nora Ephron (it just doesn't seem right to say simply, Nora), and his book shows how brilliant and groundbreaking her writing was. This is a thoughtful and well-written book. Yet, this portrayal also makes Ms. Ephron seem rather elitist, a stereotype of a "New York Intellectual".
What I liked:
There are many interesting stories and anecdotes about what a force of nature she was. Apparently, her dinner parties were legendary. I will say that the author did not shy away from painting Ms. Ephron in a negative light, at times. She would preside over a dinner table, dictating what the topic of conversation would be. Guests were expected to perform, and heaven help them if they didn't deliver an entertaining repartee (they would not be invited back and sometimes were shunned from Ms. Ephron's social circle).
Most of the time, Ms. Ephron seems totally in control. It is one of the major questions of this book as to why she kept her terminal cancer a secret from even her closest friends. Was it vanity? Did she think it would make her appear weak? Maybe she couldn't stand pity. We readers will never know, as the author never quite revealed an answer. But I think that to even her closest friends, Nora Ephron remained a mystery.
What I didn't like:
As written, Nora Ephron comes off as a colossal snob. Although, she was friends with many people who were not famous, it seems like most people were judged by their fame or notoriety. This lady enjoyed name dropping. Of course, she did know many famous people and was married to one of the most famous journalists in American history, Carl Bernstein. But all the adoration of the well-known rubbed me the wrong way.
I would have been more interested to read about what it was like to be one of the only women directors in the 80's. Did she feel like she had to be tougher and shine brighter to gain legitimacy? Was she ever slighted by producers? Again, this book makes it seem that she simple commanded respect, and it was given. I find that hard to believe.
If you enjoy the writings and works of Nora Ephron, I actually would recommend this book. But, unless you are a super fan, you may find this book to be a bit self-congratulatory.
January 8, 2017
This book is so terribly written that the author's attempt to praise Ephron actually shows her to be a crazed liar. Cohen, who somehow stumbled into becoming a Washington Post columnist, uses his lame writing skills to try to piece together an incoherent story of Ephron's life, claiming she was his "best friend." However, within the first few pages you discover that she actually kept many things from him and had many "best friends." He gives repeated examples of her lying and deception, yet objects when anyone implies that she wasn't telling a story accurately. She clearly skews stories to make them support her beliefs and others contradict much of what she said. He calls her a "journalist," yet she was a biased opinionated writer that was far from objective as journalists are supposed to be. He calls her "left of center" when in truth she was off-the-deep-end liberal and made sure everyone knew about it!
Bottom line this book is Cohen's attempt to honor Ephron but instead the reader might come away disliking her. He details her being extremely mean, rude, inconsistent, and elitist. She grew up in the home of rich drunk obnoxious snobby Hollywood writers that were mentally unstable and she magnifies many of their negative characteristics. While there are a few examples of where she helped one of the "little people" or took a positive stance about birthing children, she appears to have done everything in life defensively based on her past. She herself was given her start because of connections her parents knew, so she tried to help a few others in her later years. She questioned her own value as a child, so she wanted to make sure she let her children know that they were very much wanted. She was extremely anti-religion but would help those serious about her family's Jewish faith.
Cohen is a frustrating writer to read. An insecure know-it-all who seems oblivious to how much rewriting he should be doing, he skips around and has difficulty communicating a simple story--often leaving details out that he implies but most of us don't know. He may assume that only other D.C./New York elitists like himself and his friends are reading the book. One thing is for sure: he and Ephron and others in their liberal inner media circle are very insulated and don't have a clue how the rest of the world lives. Despite the fact that he claims to have been so close to her, he was the wrong person to write Ephron's story because in the end he makes us remember her faults more than her talents.
Bottom line this book is Cohen's attempt to honor Ephron but instead the reader might come away disliking her. He details her being extremely mean, rude, inconsistent, and elitist. She grew up in the home of rich drunk obnoxious snobby Hollywood writers that were mentally unstable and she magnifies many of their negative characteristics. While there are a few examples of where she helped one of the "little people" or took a positive stance about birthing children, she appears to have done everything in life defensively based on her past. She herself was given her start because of connections her parents knew, so she tried to help a few others in her later years. She questioned her own value as a child, so she wanted to make sure she let her children know that they were very much wanted. She was extremely anti-religion but would help those serious about her family's Jewish faith.
Cohen is a frustrating writer to read. An insecure know-it-all who seems oblivious to how much rewriting he should be doing, he skips around and has difficulty communicating a simple story--often leaving details out that he implies but most of us don't know. He may assume that only other D.C./New York elitists like himself and his friends are reading the book. One thing is for sure: he and Ephron and others in their liberal inner media circle are very insulated and don't have a clue how the rest of the world lives. Despite the fact that he claims to have been so close to her, he was the wrong person to write Ephron's story because in the end he makes us remember her faults more than her talents.
November 7, 2016
Sleepless in New Milford, NJ
In “She Made Me Laugh,” we learn that writer/director Nora Ephron is someone who would lead friends on a tour of Italy’s great restaurants, arrive late at one, and then stand and make an insulting gesture to the entire wait staff because they weren’t attentive enough.
This is what passes for loveable to Ephron’s friend, Richard Cohen, the Washington Post columnist and author of her bio.
Well, maybe not “loveable.” Even Cohen seemed to have mixed feelings about this anecdote. Perhaps (permitting me to put words in the head of a much-more-accomplished writer) he thought, “Nora has spunk!” -- in reference to a scene from the old Mary Tyler Moore Show in the type of 1970’s newsroom that Cohen and Ephron both obviously adored.
But, like Lou Grant, I hate spunk. So while Ephron may have made Cohen laugh, the sensibility on display in this book often made me cringe.
Cohen lovingly depicts an era when media and literary gatekeepers hobnobbed aboard David Geffen’s yacht or at a Ben Bradlee and Sally Quinn dinner party. Once, after being slighted this crowd, Cohen proclaims, “That summer, the Hamptons did without me.”
I’m glad that world doesn’t exist anymore. These summers, the Hamptons are doing without all the best journalists and artists and writers. They live, create and “summer” in all corners of the world, enabled and connected by technology. There are no boundaries or gatekeepers. Everyone can be critic, or a star.
These days, the only sure way to tell a decent person from an asshole is if he or she is kind to the wait staff.
Two good things came out of reading this book, however.
First, I am now much more aware of Ephron’s entire career, and I eagerly look forward to reading more of her writing. Before now, I had thought of her as the writer/director of “Sleepless in Seattle” and thought she had written the famous scene in “When Harry Met Sally,” which, it turns out, was improvised by Meg Ryan, Billy Crystal, and Rob and Estelle Reiner.
Second, I can now channel my inner Nick Carraway, since there are several remarkable anecdotes in this book involving the actor Tom Hanks.
So now, as the sun sets on this review, I see a vision of Hanks from across an imaginary lawn. “They’re a rotten crowd,” I shout to him, thinking of all his rich friends summering in the Hamptons. “You’re worth the whole damn bunch put together.”
In “She Made Me Laugh,” we learn that writer/director Nora Ephron is someone who would lead friends on a tour of Italy’s great restaurants, arrive late at one, and then stand and make an insulting gesture to the entire wait staff because they weren’t attentive enough.
This is what passes for loveable to Ephron’s friend, Richard Cohen, the Washington Post columnist and author of her bio.
Well, maybe not “loveable.” Even Cohen seemed to have mixed feelings about this anecdote. Perhaps (permitting me to put words in the head of a much-more-accomplished writer) he thought, “Nora has spunk!” -- in reference to a scene from the old Mary Tyler Moore Show in the type of 1970’s newsroom that Cohen and Ephron both obviously adored.
But, like Lou Grant, I hate spunk. So while Ephron may have made Cohen laugh, the sensibility on display in this book often made me cringe.
Cohen lovingly depicts an era when media and literary gatekeepers hobnobbed aboard David Geffen’s yacht or at a Ben Bradlee and Sally Quinn dinner party. Once, after being slighted this crowd, Cohen proclaims, “That summer, the Hamptons did without me.”
I’m glad that world doesn’t exist anymore. These summers, the Hamptons are doing without all the best journalists and artists and writers. They live, create and “summer” in all corners of the world, enabled and connected by technology. There are no boundaries or gatekeepers. Everyone can be critic, or a star.
These days, the only sure way to tell a decent person from an asshole is if he or she is kind to the wait staff.
Two good things came out of reading this book, however.
First, I am now much more aware of Ephron’s entire career, and I eagerly look forward to reading more of her writing. Before now, I had thought of her as the writer/director of “Sleepless in Seattle” and thought she had written the famous scene in “When Harry Met Sally,” which, it turns out, was improvised by Meg Ryan, Billy Crystal, and Rob and Estelle Reiner.
Second, I can now channel my inner Nick Carraway, since there are several remarkable anecdotes in this book involving the actor Tom Hanks.
So now, as the sun sets on this review, I see a vision of Hanks from across an imaginary lawn. “They’re a rotten crowd,” I shout to him, thinking of all his rich friends summering in the Hamptons. “You’re worth the whole damn bunch put together.”
December 22, 2016
What Cohen set out to do--tell a story of Nora--he does well.
Interestingly, not sure I would have liked Nora. According to Cohen she was a no hugs, no tears, no God, no talking about what is really happening (e.g. her approaching death) type of person. Also, extremely controlling, dropping people in her circle if they did not act as she felt they should.
Also interesting, Nora's life is an intriguing window into the phenomenon of how lives can look one way from the inside and another from the outside. For example, Nora looks to have had a cool life as the maker of movies like Sleepless in Seattle and You've Got Mail. Yet, during the same time, she also made Mixed Nuts, Bewitched and other movies that were not so successful. From a biography you see that often it is the failures, the projects that don't do so well, that monopolize the thoughts of the person on the inside, while those on the outside may not even know these failures occurred.
Book includes a great quote from Lillian Hellman, what she said to the House Un-American Activities Committee in 1952, when she told them she would not testify against people she knew: "I cannot and will not cut my conscience to fit this year's fashions."
Greatest passage I've read in a book all year:
From an appearance on Oprah, shortly after Nora had been diagnosed with her cancer:
"'Are any of you feeling the pressure that time is running out?' Oprah said.
"'Oh, yes,' Nora said. 'This is one of the reasons I'm so in love with one of the most important things in life at the moment--carbs. You know, because I've been really good my whole life. What if you are hit by a bus and the last thing going though your head is, I should have had the doughnut? You know?'
Oprah repeated, 'Carbs.'
'By which I just mean, savor everything. I mean, we live, let's just stick to carbs. We live in the greatest era of bread since the dawn of civilization. You can get good bread everywhere. But everything, you should just savor everything in some way or other so that every day is, did I do the thing I really wanted to do today?'" (pp. 223-224.)
Interestingly, not sure I would have liked Nora. According to Cohen she was a no hugs, no tears, no God, no talking about what is really happening (e.g. her approaching death) type of person. Also, extremely controlling, dropping people in her circle if they did not act as she felt they should.
Also interesting, Nora's life is an intriguing window into the phenomenon of how lives can look one way from the inside and another from the outside. For example, Nora looks to have had a cool life as the maker of movies like Sleepless in Seattle and You've Got Mail. Yet, during the same time, she also made Mixed Nuts, Bewitched and other movies that were not so successful. From a biography you see that often it is the failures, the projects that don't do so well, that monopolize the thoughts of the person on the inside, while those on the outside may not even know these failures occurred.
Book includes a great quote from Lillian Hellman, what she said to the House Un-American Activities Committee in 1952, when she told them she would not testify against people she knew: "I cannot and will not cut my conscience to fit this year's fashions."
Greatest passage I've read in a book all year:
From an appearance on Oprah, shortly after Nora had been diagnosed with her cancer:
"'Are any of you feeling the pressure that time is running out?' Oprah said.
"'Oh, yes,' Nora said. 'This is one of the reasons I'm so in love with one of the most important things in life at the moment--carbs. You know, because I've been really good my whole life. What if you are hit by a bus and the last thing going though your head is, I should have had the doughnut? You know?'
Oprah repeated, 'Carbs.'
'By which I just mean, savor everything. I mean, we live, let's just stick to carbs. We live in the greatest era of bread since the dawn of civilization. You can get good bread everywhere. But everything, you should just savor everything in some way or other so that every day is, did I do the thing I really wanted to do today?'" (pp. 223-224.)
August 27, 2016
I received this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. I requested the book because I have loved and followed Nora Ephron for decades. The book affirmed my admiration for her.
Written by her friend for ages,the journalist Richard Cohen, it is a tribute and a love story. Rampant with name dropping, but of course--that was her world. Nonetheless, it seemed to me that she was far from a snob. Rather, a loyal and good friend to those in her circle. And she had circles!
The book starts with her growing up in Hollywood and ends with her death. It covers a lot of territory. College, first job, next jobs, marriages, friendships, cooking, decorating, food, and so on.
I learned alot about Nora's life but there also was some journalistic history thrown in from the 1960s and 1970s when Nora was a writer at Newsweek [I was a subscriber] and wrote for Esquire [not]. (And much more about her coming up in the newspaper world of NYC when she was just starting out.)
There is much space devoted to her marriage to Carl Bernstein, stories about The Washington Post, the Washington social scene, and her novel Heartburn [and the subsequent movie]. And her move back to New York and all that followed.
So, while this was to me first and foremost a love story of friendship, it felt very flat to me. Cohen's ties to Nora [actually both he and his wife, who also was ill and dying the same time as Nora] were vividly detailed, but... I guess I wanted more.
Written by her friend for ages,the journalist Richard Cohen, it is a tribute and a love story. Rampant with name dropping, but of course--that was her world. Nonetheless, it seemed to me that she was far from a snob. Rather, a loyal and good friend to those in her circle. And she had circles!
The book starts with her growing up in Hollywood and ends with her death. It covers a lot of territory. College, first job, next jobs, marriages, friendships, cooking, decorating, food, and so on.
I learned alot about Nora's life but there also was some journalistic history thrown in from the 1960s and 1970s when Nora was a writer at Newsweek [I was a subscriber] and wrote for Esquire [not]. (And much more about her coming up in the newspaper world of NYC when she was just starting out.)
There is much space devoted to her marriage to Carl Bernstein, stories about The Washington Post, the Washington social scene, and her novel Heartburn [and the subsequent movie]. And her move back to New York and all that followed.
So, while this was to me first and foremost a love story of friendship, it felt very flat to me. Cohen's ties to Nora [actually both he and his wife, who also was ill and dying the same time as Nora] were vividly detailed, but... I guess I wanted more.
February 14, 2017
What a lovely tribute Richard Cohen has written about his dear friend Nora Ephron. Each little chapter was almost like an anecdote describing some facet of her complex personality or career. She was pretty amazing
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