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Counting the Days While My Mind Slips Away: A Love Letter to My Family
“In this book, Ben doesn’t allow injury, setbacks, and disappointments to define him. His faith and love for his family provide perspective in the midst of challenging circumstances.” —Tony Dungy, Hall of Fame Coach and author of Quiet Strength
“I strongly encourage every parent, every child, and every person who plays or plans to play football and other high impact contact sports to read this book and become enlightened and empowered by Ben’s powerful story.” —Dr. Bennet Omalu, featured in the movie Concussion
After five major concussions, NFL tight-end Ben Utecht of the Indianapolis Colts and Cincinnati Bengals is losing his memories. This is his powerful and emotional love letter to his wife and daughters—whom he someday may not recognize—and an inspiring message for all to live every moment fully.
Ben Utecht has accumulated a vast treasure of tossing a football in the yard with his father, meeting his wife, with whom he’d build a loving partnership and bring four beautiful daughters into the world, writing and performing music, catching touchdown passes from quarterback Peyton Manning, and playing a Super Bowl Championship watched by ninety-three million people.
But the game he has built his living on, the game he fell in love with as a child, is taking its toll in a devastating way. After at least five major concussions—and an untold number of micro-concussions—Ben suffered multiple mild traumatic brain injuries that have erased important memories. Knowing that his wife and daughters could someday be beyond his reach and desperate for them to understand how much he loves them, he recorded his memories for them to hold on to after his essential self is gone.
Counting the Days While My Mind Slips Away chronicles his remarkable journey from his early days throwing a football back and forth with his father to speaking about the long-term effects of concussions before Congress, and how his faith keeps him strong and grounded as he looks toward an uncertain future. Ben recounts the experiences that have shaped his life and imparts the lessons he’s learned along the way. Emotionally powerful, inspiring, and uplifting, Ben’s story will captivate and encourage you to make the most of every day and treasure all of your memories.
“I strongly encourage every parent, every child, and every person who plays or plans to play football and other high impact contact sports to read this book and become enlightened and empowered by Ben’s powerful story.” —Dr. Bennet Omalu, featured in the movie Concussion
After five major concussions, NFL tight-end Ben Utecht of the Indianapolis Colts and Cincinnati Bengals is losing his memories. This is his powerful and emotional love letter to his wife and daughters—whom he someday may not recognize—and an inspiring message for all to live every moment fully.
Ben Utecht has accumulated a vast treasure of tossing a football in the yard with his father, meeting his wife, with whom he’d build a loving partnership and bring four beautiful daughters into the world, writing and performing music, catching touchdown passes from quarterback Peyton Manning, and playing a Super Bowl Championship watched by ninety-three million people.
But the game he has built his living on, the game he fell in love with as a child, is taking its toll in a devastating way. After at least five major concussions—and an untold number of micro-concussions—Ben suffered multiple mild traumatic brain injuries that have erased important memories. Knowing that his wife and daughters could someday be beyond his reach and desperate for them to understand how much he loves them, he recorded his memories for them to hold on to after his essential self is gone.
Counting the Days While My Mind Slips Away chronicles his remarkable journey from his early days throwing a football back and forth with his father to speaking about the long-term effects of concussions before Congress, and how his faith keeps him strong and grounded as he looks toward an uncertain future. Ben recounts the experiences that have shaped his life and imparts the lessons he’s learned along the way. Emotionally powerful, inspiring, and uplifting, Ben’s story will captivate and encourage you to make the most of every day and treasure all of your memories.
272 pages, Hardcover
Published August 23, 2016
25 people are currently reading
622 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 69 reviews
May 17, 2019
Counting the Days While My Mind Slips Away: A Love Letter to My Family is Ben Utecht‘s story about his life, including his NFL career, followed by post-football activity, as he now battles memory loss due to suffering from more than 4 major concussions.
Ben grew up in Minnesota, was and still is close with his family, and enjoyed playing sports throughout his life. He played football at the University of Minnesota, where he met his wife, Karyn. He then played in the NFL for the Colts, including the Super Bowl winning team of 2007, then the Bengals, before being cut. He had suffered multiple injuries over time in his career as an athlete, but did not let these setbacks get the best of him. Ben, along with his agent and legal team, filed a grievance against the NFL following his termination from the Bengals. This grievance took years! to resolve.
Karyn and Ben now have 4 daughters. Ben has enjoyed a post-football career in music as well as advocating for proper brain injury and concussion treatment. I have a great memory and there’s few things I don’t remember. Memory loss scares me! I felt for Ben and what he has gone through, as well as the difficulty this has caused for his family.
I listened to the audiobook of Counting the Days While My Mind Slips Away, read by Ben himself. He has a good voice for audio and I thought his story was interesting. It was heavy on football (expected) and on his faith. I respect everyone’s religious beliefs, but it’s just not generally a topic I prefer to read about, however, I found it to be ok in listening to this particular story.
Ben grew up in Minnesota, was and still is close with his family, and enjoyed playing sports throughout his life. He played football at the University of Minnesota, where he met his wife, Karyn. He then played in the NFL for the Colts, including the Super Bowl winning team of 2007, then the Bengals, before being cut. He had suffered multiple injuries over time in his career as an athlete, but did not let these setbacks get the best of him. Ben, along with his agent and legal team, filed a grievance against the NFL following his termination from the Bengals. This grievance took years! to resolve.
Karyn and Ben now have 4 daughters. Ben has enjoyed a post-football career in music as well as advocating for proper brain injury and concussion treatment. I have a great memory and there’s few things I don’t remember. Memory loss scares me! I felt for Ben and what he has gone through, as well as the difficulty this has caused for his family.
I listened to the audiobook of Counting the Days While My Mind Slips Away, read by Ben himself. He has a good voice for audio and I thought his story was interesting. It was heavy on football (expected) and on his faith. I respect everyone’s religious beliefs, but it’s just not generally a topic I prefer to read about, however, I found it to be ok in listening to this particular story.
June 22, 2016
Wow! What an emotional, often heart-wrenching story this is. While in the NFL, tight end Ben Utecht suffered five serious concussions. He is now living with traumatic brain injury as a result and is losing memories without realizing it. This book is a love letter to his family where he shares his story and the things he wants them to know while he can still remember and get them written down. Many of the stories included had to be told by his wife or parents because he has no memory of very key events in his life. Other stories he tells and prays he will be able to keep those memories…like holding his baby for the first time.
This book gives a fascinating look into the NFL where being injured (at least in the past) might mean you’ll be replaced, never to regain a starting position. There was great pressure on Utecht and others to play injured. I was dumbfounded that he was able to play through so many broken bones and injuries. At one point he had a broken foot. If he had surgery, it would mean he’d be out for weeks on end. Instead, doctors put a cast on it for a week, cut it off for game day, shot him up with pain killers, and recasted it after the football game. This went on for weeks. CRAZY! I will be so much more appreciative and thankful for the new rules that protect players once football season comes around again this fall. What Utecht and so many others are going through now is too high of a cost for a game.
Utecht’s faith shines in this book. He is very honest and humble in retelling his story. He includes his shortcomings. His mom reminds him often that if he trusts God he won’t have anything to worry about. That is the crucial issue for Ben and for us. Will we trust God when things are bleak? When He doesn’t heal? When we don’t get the job or position we’re hoping for? Knowing that He is in control, especially when times are hard, can give so much hope and peace if we will trust Him.
I would highly recommend this book. It is a poignant memoir as well as a warning gong about the dangers of concussions and brain injuries. Thank you to Howard Books and Netgalley for providing me with a free e-copy of this book for the purpose of this review. I was not required to make it positive. All opinions are my own.
This book gives a fascinating look into the NFL where being injured (at least in the past) might mean you’ll be replaced, never to regain a starting position. There was great pressure on Utecht and others to play injured. I was dumbfounded that he was able to play through so many broken bones and injuries. At one point he had a broken foot. If he had surgery, it would mean he’d be out for weeks on end. Instead, doctors put a cast on it for a week, cut it off for game day, shot him up with pain killers, and recasted it after the football game. This went on for weeks. CRAZY! I will be so much more appreciative and thankful for the new rules that protect players once football season comes around again this fall. What Utecht and so many others are going through now is too high of a cost for a game.
Utecht’s faith shines in this book. He is very honest and humble in retelling his story. He includes his shortcomings. His mom reminds him often that if he trusts God he won’t have anything to worry about. That is the crucial issue for Ben and for us. Will we trust God when things are bleak? When He doesn’t heal? When we don’t get the job or position we’re hoping for? Knowing that He is in control, especially when times are hard, can give so much hope and peace if we will trust Him.
I would highly recommend this book. It is a poignant memoir as well as a warning gong about the dangers of concussions and brain injuries. Thank you to Howard Books and Netgalley for providing me with a free e-copy of this book for the purpose of this review. I was not required to make it positive. All opinions are my own.
February 7, 2017
"I now understand that our existence as human beings lies in our ability to remember. Everything that matters about our identities - our very sense of self - comes from our memories. We may live in the present, but that doesn't last. Every moment quickly slips into the stream of short-term memory and journeys toward the ocean that is the long-term memory center of the brain. There our memories take root, shaping us, refining us, defining who we are. We are the culmination of all we have experienced, all we have thought and read and believed, all we have loved. We are living memories. Without memories we cease to be ourselves. In a very real way we cease to be." (Pg. 9)
Ben Utecht played five years in the NFL for not the Indianapolis Colts and the Cincinnati Bengals, winning a coveted ring Super Bowl in Super Bowl XLI. Yet throughout his college and professional career he suffered five documented concussions and untold undocumented ones, often referred to as "getting his bell rung." The concussions eventually took their toll and he now lives with permanent decreased memories and cognitive abilities.
If you are a football fan or the parent of a sports participant this is a must read. There has been a much more focused spotlight by the NFL and former players. But Ben brings a personal touch with the fullness of his story. It's a poignant memoir about faith, love, and appreciating each moment with with the ones you love.
A could of items to note, however. I thought from the subtitle, "A Letter To My Family," is a bit misleading. I expected this to be structured as an epistolary form. The letter comes in the last chapter. Up until that point it is a recounting of his experience in football programs. Secondly, faith is at the core of Ben's life. If discussion of faith bothers you this is not the work for you. It isn't didactic in nature. In fact, while being a Christian myself I don't align with his interpretation of the manifestation of God's power in our lives, but it didn't take away from my appreciation of the story.
Ben Utecht played five years in the NFL for not the Indianapolis Colts and the Cincinnati Bengals, winning a coveted ring Super Bowl in Super Bowl XLI. Yet throughout his college and professional career he suffered five documented concussions and untold undocumented ones, often referred to as "getting his bell rung." The concussions eventually took their toll and he now lives with permanent decreased memories and cognitive abilities.
If you are a football fan or the parent of a sports participant this is a must read. There has been a much more focused spotlight by the NFL and former players. But Ben brings a personal touch with the fullness of his story. It's a poignant memoir about faith, love, and appreciating each moment with with the ones you love.
A could of items to note, however. I thought from the subtitle, "A Letter To My Family," is a bit misleading. I expected this to be structured as an epistolary form. The letter comes in the last chapter. Up until that point it is a recounting of his experience in football programs. Secondly, faith is at the core of Ben's life. If discussion of faith bothers you this is not the work for you. It isn't didactic in nature. In fact, while being a Christian myself I don't align with his interpretation of the manifestation of God's power in our lives, but it didn't take away from my appreciation of the story.
November 21, 2016
I was completely fascinated by the review on this true account of a football player who is suffering increasing dementia from concussions. I am very interested in how different people face declining health and he seems like a real sweetheart of a guy with a lovely family. But, he was going on and on about football and Jesus---two subjects sure to send me running for cover. The subtitle should have warned me too: I get someone wanting to praise his family: I appreciate it; it's admirable; the guy is a saint. But when authors do that, I always wonder, who, besides their immediate family is interested hearing that?
July 19, 2018
The first part of the book was very heavy on childhood, football and faith. I suppose it was necessary for some of it to be included as a base to the second half but I didn't enjoy it as much.
The second half of the book was more what I was expecting. Information about his injuries, symptoms, managing life with memory issues, how he's helping bring awareness and what he's doing to keep his hope alive for a long life with his family. That was the part of the book I really enjoyed. I also like the awareness this book may bring to people - especially those who think that concussion impacts aren't real.
Also - I didn't know he was from my home state!
The second half of the book was more what I was expecting. Information about his injuries, symptoms, managing life with memory issues, how he's helping bring awareness and what he's doing to keep his hope alive for a long life with his family. That was the part of the book I really enjoyed. I also like the awareness this book may bring to people - especially those who think that concussion impacts aren't real.
Also - I didn't know he was from my home state!
March 31, 2019
Listened to this with my 1o year old son and we both enjoyed it. Interesting story and perspective.
January 17, 2023
Such a good story. I will admit I have put off reading this book because I was afraid it would bring up too many sad memories of my own. However, even if it is emotional, it is an excellent book.
Ben Utecht was a football player for most of his life. He started out throwing the football in the backyard with his dad and then went on to have a career in the NFL. During this time he suffered several serious concussions. This books talks about the decisions he made, with the team staff, after each injury. These concussions have left him with traumatic brain injury and he is losing memories.
This book was written as a love letter to his family. I would say he shared his memories but most of the memories had to be told to him by family and friends. He talked about the difference in addressing concussions as to when a person injured his knee, at least in the past. With the knee the can take MRIs or Xrays to see how the person is progress but for head injuries. All the prayers are put under great pressure to play through concussions or risk losing their position on the team. Players relied on pain medication to get through many of the games. All this did was mask the pain while the players made the injuries worse by competing.
I love how Utecht would rely on his faith each day to help him make decisions and to guide him along his path. When he wrote and recorded a video of his song to his girls God told him to wait to publish it. When he did it was presented to a welcoming world where they could see another side of what he is facing.
I cannot begin to talk enough about this book. It is inspirational. I MOST HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT.
Ben Utecht was a football player for most of his life. He started out throwing the football in the backyard with his dad and then went on to have a career in the NFL. During this time he suffered several serious concussions. This books talks about the decisions he made, with the team staff, after each injury. These concussions have left him with traumatic brain injury and he is losing memories.
This book was written as a love letter to his family. I would say he shared his memories but most of the memories had to be told to him by family and friends. He talked about the difference in addressing concussions as to when a person injured his knee, at least in the past. With the knee the can take MRIs or Xrays to see how the person is progress but for head injuries. All the prayers are put under great pressure to play through concussions or risk losing their position on the team. Players relied on pain medication to get through many of the games. All this did was mask the pain while the players made the injuries worse by competing.
I love how Utecht would rely on his faith each day to help him make decisions and to guide him along his path. When he wrote and recorded a video of his song to his girls God told him to wait to publish it. When he did it was presented to a welcoming world where they could see another side of what he is facing.
I cannot begin to talk enough about this book. It is inspirational. I MOST HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT.
July 11, 2020
If I could give more than 5 stars to this book, I would!! It was an emotional book for me since I have one daughter (bless you Ben for having 4 daughters). This was a fantastic book. He talks about how his faith and God have been there through the valleys and mountains. I am so glad that I saw this book at the Dollar Tree.
April 24, 2021
This book was warm and touching as a man recalls his journey as a football player from a young age through several years in the NFL and suffering through and recovering from injuries and concussions and how his memory has been affected because of it.
October 10, 2016
Interesting book about a guy who isn't just a dumb jock. I liked hearing how playing the game he loves so affected Ben's life. A bit preachy at times with his love of God and how when he trusts him he delivers.
September 5, 2016
Loved the premise- but could have done without some of the very in-depth football play-by-plays. (I get it though.) Overall- loved some of the stories, and the final two chapters were my favorite.
February 4, 2018
Ben Utecht spent six years in the NFL as tight end for the Indianapolis Colts as well as the Cincinnati Bengals. Between those NFL years and his four years of college football, he suffered no less than FIVE documented major concussions. In the years following his last NFL game in 2009, he began to suspect that he was losing precious memories. This wasn't just temporary amnesia -- moments of his life appeared to be irretrievably wiped from his memory. With this realization, Utecht quickly became an advocate for brain health and education, nabbing a spot on the board of the American Brain Foundation. He's even spoken before Congress on the matter.
Despite his efforts to learn all he can regarding what's going in his mind and to preserve what's left, Utecht fears for what his future may hold. With that in mind, he wrote Counting The Days While My Mind Slips Away, what he calls "a love letter to my family" something tangible to capture his memories of the man he was in case his mind fails him. In these memories, readers are given an inside look at the questionable practices of the NFL regarding head trauma. Even within this text, several times Utecht admits that he had to refer to others to verify or remind him of what used to be some of his own memories. For instance, he discusses his experience with playing the Colts when they won the Super Bowl in 2006... he has pictures of him with the Lombardi trophy but in his mind it's like it never happened.
Utecht takes us back to the very beginning: his early days of growing up a preacher's kid. Like many a young boy, Utecht was introduced to football by his father, through many hours of tackles & tosses in the yard, even taking Ben (at age 11) to watch his first NFL training camp. As he says, "That's what I loved about the game...Football meant time with my dad." Utecht grew up big for his age, so by the time he started his school years, coaches took notice of his size and football seemed a natural path to take, as it also meant pretty much immediate social acceptance within school hierarchy. It doesn't read as intentional, but it's almost like he was groomed for this as a career choice from the very beginning, being quietly guided by something on life's sidelines .
Almost immediately upon completing high school, Ben is offered a full ride football scholarship to University of Minnesota (which he accepts, naturally). Pretty much right out of college, he is signed to the Colts. By this time, Utecht's formidable size weighs in at 6'7", 250lbs. A reader may go into this book thinking they're in for pages full of descriptions of head trauma but dang, I was distracted by all the skeletal issues this guy was having over the years of his NFL career --- popped ribs, hip fractures, pelvic damage, separated shoulder, broken ankle.. that's not even all of it -- left me wondering if this guy was ever tested for some sort of skeletal disorder, bone deficiency, something?!
In one portion of the book, Utecht shares some entries from a journal he began to keep of symptoms he was noticing after head injuries, most excerpts focusing on 2009, his last year with the NFL... and it wasn't a planned retirement. There's a whole swirl of drama surrounding him being cut from the Bengals. He describes being "cut" while still on the IR (injured roster), which is technically not supposed to be allowed. A player is supposed to be cleared for play before they can be cut. Utecht comes to find out that the doctor who signed off on his being cleared wasn't even a medical doctor! Amazing how shady the NFL comes out in these memoirs I've been picking up lately!
Utecht's story is interesting, but not necessarily the most riveting stuff (though he does offer some comedic stories involving Peyton Manning). But I feel like in the case of CTE, it's important to get as many testimonies out there as possible if a true solution is ever to be found. In that respect, this remains an important read. It does have a heaaaavy Christian lean to it though, so just a heads up if that's not your thing. I don't mind it most times but some stuff he says here... even I was giving some of the pages some side eye.
If you've read other books on this subject, many of them are likely referenced here. Utecht cited League Of Denial many times and Bennet Omalu himself is blurbed on the back cover of this book. Utecht also covers some of the material that was discussed in Cindy Feasel's book, After The Cheering Stops (to clarify, he doesn't mention her book specifically, he just discusses similar topics).
Despite his efforts to learn all he can regarding what's going in his mind and to preserve what's left, Utecht fears for what his future may hold. With that in mind, he wrote Counting The Days While My Mind Slips Away, what he calls "a love letter to my family" something tangible to capture his memories of the man he was in case his mind fails him. In these memories, readers are given an inside look at the questionable practices of the NFL regarding head trauma. Even within this text, several times Utecht admits that he had to refer to others to verify or remind him of what used to be some of his own memories. For instance, he discusses his experience with playing the Colts when they won the Super Bowl in 2006... he has pictures of him with the Lombardi trophy but in his mind it's like it never happened.
Utecht takes us back to the very beginning: his early days of growing up a preacher's kid. Like many a young boy, Utecht was introduced to football by his father, through many hours of tackles & tosses in the yard, even taking Ben (at age 11) to watch his first NFL training camp. As he says, "That's what I loved about the game...Football meant time with my dad." Utecht grew up big for his age, so by the time he started his school years, coaches took notice of his size and football seemed a natural path to take, as it also meant pretty much immediate social acceptance within school hierarchy. It doesn't read as intentional, but it's almost like he was groomed for this as a career choice from the very beginning, being quietly guided by something on life's sidelines .
Almost immediately upon completing high school, Ben is offered a full ride football scholarship to University of Minnesota (which he accepts, naturally). Pretty much right out of college, he is signed to the Colts. By this time, Utecht's formidable size weighs in at 6'7", 250lbs. A reader may go into this book thinking they're in for pages full of descriptions of head trauma but dang, I was distracted by all the skeletal issues this guy was having over the years of his NFL career --- popped ribs, hip fractures, pelvic damage, separated shoulder, broken ankle.. that's not even all of it -- left me wondering if this guy was ever tested for some sort of skeletal disorder, bone deficiency, something?!
In one portion of the book, Utecht shares some entries from a journal he began to keep of symptoms he was noticing after head injuries, most excerpts focusing on 2009, his last year with the NFL... and it wasn't a planned retirement. There's a whole swirl of drama surrounding him being cut from the Bengals. He describes being "cut" while still on the IR (injured roster), which is technically not supposed to be allowed. A player is supposed to be cleared for play before they can be cut. Utecht comes to find out that the doctor who signed off on his being cleared wasn't even a medical doctor! Amazing how shady the NFL comes out in these memoirs I've been picking up lately!
Utecht's story is interesting, but not necessarily the most riveting stuff (though he does offer some comedic stories involving Peyton Manning). But I feel like in the case of CTE, it's important to get as many testimonies out there as possible if a true solution is ever to be found. In that respect, this remains an important read. It does have a heaaaavy Christian lean to it though, so just a heads up if that's not your thing. I don't mind it most times but some stuff he says here... even I was giving some of the pages some side eye.
If you've read other books on this subject, many of them are likely referenced here. Utecht cited League Of Denial many times and Bennet Omalu himself is blurbed on the back cover of this book. Utecht also covers some of the material that was discussed in Cindy Feasel's book, After The Cheering Stops (to clarify, he doesn't mention her book specifically, he just discusses similar topics).
March 19, 2021
“I strongly encourage every sportsman, particularly who plays football to read this book to honor Ben Utecht. Sportsmanship creates a person as the best strategic planner, best leader, and kingmaker and lives with pride.”
I never thought that this book talks about a student who is a football player before I start to read. Sports management is a “Change Agent” in all aspects of human life, in my own experience, the model of sports modernize an individual in the perspective of civilly, decency, discipline, self-confidence, and social status, these attributes stimuli and evolve well-being of lifestyle in such health, intellectualism, academic, and career. An overall change agent is a self-insurance policy of everyone’s life.
Author Utecht is a Daddyyyy... of four daughters says “I try to value every moment, no matter how small,” he says. “Until recently, I never realized how special memory is.” He says that Bengals treatment by the doctor Robert Cantu he was placed on injured reserve. The author argues the work in the system is broken, perhaps the decision-making is wrong but the procedures and regulations in place.
They were Minnesota Vikings fans then. Growing up, Utecht recalls trips to training camps and following his teams. Meanwhile, he matured physically and mentally and excelled at high school football which, he was offered a college scholarship, and a chance to play with the Minnesota Gophers. But the college career Utecht dreamed of having didn’t happen he was injured, injured, and injured again. He played football, but not as much or as well as he needed to play, and when it was time for the NFL drafts, he wasn’t picked.
The story goes with struggle, love, emotions, and spiritual and the life runs up and down, why it is important to have Ben because he is a team leader and outstanding player, and my eyes were scanned the following from the coach and set it to the life “life is a season depend on the pain management”
In my conclusion, this book suggests that it should be read by parents and children. My greetings with love to my dearest friend Yasodhara Kapuge for sharing this book with me. Yes, I would say “Days are numbered, and steps are measured” with the Shakespearean reference.
I never thought that this book talks about a student who is a football player before I start to read. Sports management is a “Change Agent” in all aspects of human life, in my own experience, the model of sports modernize an individual in the perspective of civilly, decency, discipline, self-confidence, and social status, these attributes stimuli and evolve well-being of lifestyle in such health, intellectualism, academic, and career. An overall change agent is a self-insurance policy of everyone’s life.
Author Utecht is a Daddyyyy... of four daughters says “I try to value every moment, no matter how small,” he says. “Until recently, I never realized how special memory is.” He says that Bengals treatment by the doctor Robert Cantu he was placed on injured reserve. The author argues the work in the system is broken, perhaps the decision-making is wrong but the procedures and regulations in place.
They were Minnesota Vikings fans then. Growing up, Utecht recalls trips to training camps and following his teams. Meanwhile, he matured physically and mentally and excelled at high school football which, he was offered a college scholarship, and a chance to play with the Minnesota Gophers. But the college career Utecht dreamed of having didn’t happen he was injured, injured, and injured again. He played football, but not as much or as well as he needed to play, and when it was time for the NFL drafts, he wasn’t picked.
The story goes with struggle, love, emotions, and spiritual and the life runs up and down, why it is important to have Ben because he is a team leader and outstanding player, and my eyes were scanned the following from the coach and set it to the life “life is a season depend on the pain management”
In my conclusion, this book suggests that it should be read by parents and children. My greetings with love to my dearest friend Yasodhara Kapuge for sharing this book with me. Yes, I would say “Days are numbered, and steps are measured” with the Shakespearean reference.
December 2, 2018
I listened to the audio book and it's pretty good. I'm not much of a football fan any longer after the Concussion movie and I don't really understand plays so much of the first half of the book was boring for me. If you are not a football fan you may not enjoy this book.
Ben Utecht narrates his own book and in most cases I believe this to be a mistake though in this case Ben was the right choice to narrate his and this book.
The book details Ben's life growing up in Minnesota as a Pastor's son and a football player and how he gets a football scholarship to play for the Minnesota Golden Gophers on a handshake. What's interesting is that Ben get's injured during his Senior High School season and the Gophers coach sticks to his agreement and let's Ben red-shirt his freshman year.
Ben meets Tony Dungy, also a Gopher alum, and Dungy says that if Ben falls through the draft crack due to injury in his final college season he would call him and he does and he goes on to play for the Indianapolis Colts with Peyton Manning and wins a Super Bowl. Dungy further shows his ethical character when he advises Utecht to sign with the Bengals.
The latter half of the book details Ben's 4 or 5 concussions and how it affects his brain and memory, how he is cut from the Bengals team (which is a breach of contract), and his 3 year arbitration case against the Bengals for the remainder of his salary for the year during which they released him.
The book as the title says is a love letter of sorts to his wife and daughters. The book also details Ben's music career or quasi career and how he becomes a spokesperson and activist for other NFL players and their health with respect to concussions and now CTE.
I highly recommend this book.
Ben Utecht narrates his own book and in most cases I believe this to be a mistake though in this case Ben was the right choice to narrate his and this book.
The book details Ben's life growing up in Minnesota as a Pastor's son and a football player and how he gets a football scholarship to play for the Minnesota Golden Gophers on a handshake. What's interesting is that Ben get's injured during his Senior High School season and the Gophers coach sticks to his agreement and let's Ben red-shirt his freshman year.
Ben meets Tony Dungy, also a Gopher alum, and Dungy says that if Ben falls through the draft crack due to injury in his final college season he would call him and he does and he goes on to play for the Indianapolis Colts with Peyton Manning and wins a Super Bowl. Dungy further shows his ethical character when he advises Utecht to sign with the Bengals.
The latter half of the book details Ben's 4 or 5 concussions and how it affects his brain and memory, how he is cut from the Bengals team (which is a breach of contract), and his 3 year arbitration case against the Bengals for the remainder of his salary for the year during which they released him.
The book as the title says is a love letter of sorts to his wife and daughters. The book also details Ben's music career or quasi career and how he becomes a spokesperson and activist for other NFL players and their health with respect to concussions and now CTE.
I highly recommend this book.
June 18, 2019
I clearly do not understand. I started thinking I would question how anyone could know this story and still watch people destroy their minds and bodies (AKA play football) for entertainment. Yet Utecht, while saying he would not allow a son to play, remains proud of his career:. "I still have that paper" (110). Utecht never seems to reach the point of really questioningly a game that destroys lives. If he cannot abandon this game that has done so much damage to him, how can I expect fans to?
". . . . Florida State troopers shut down the highway for our team buses" (2). It must be nice to be this important in society's eyes. He knows that he may not be there for his wife and family: : ". . . . I now realize the person I was before is never coming back" (144). He knows"Elleora responded, 'Scared of Daddy's" (221). Yet the most he can give up is "I wish I had not played as long as I did" (230).
"I now understand that our essence as human beings lies in our ability to remember" (9). (John Locke would agree.). This guy compromised his ability to fulfill his roles as a husband and father to play a game. Is that something to be proud of?
"You can't play football without getting hurt" (24). "Playing hurt isn't optional" (107). I do not get this: this (wrecking your body as well as your mind) is virtue? For a game?
". . . . a healing miracle" (118). Apparently football is important to God. Or perhaps football, and the wealth and fame it brings, are Utecht's gods
I give this four stars as a qualitative example of is game twists our values and corrupts our society.
". . . . Florida State troopers shut down the highway for our team buses" (2). It must be nice to be this important in society's eyes. He knows that he may not be there for his wife and family: : ". . . . I now realize the person I was before is never coming back" (144). He knows"Elleora responded, 'Scared of Daddy's" (221). Yet the most he can give up is "I wish I had not played as long as I did" (230).
"I now understand that our essence as human beings lies in our ability to remember" (9). (John Locke would agree.). This guy compromised his ability to fulfill his roles as a husband and father to play a game. Is that something to be proud of?
"You can't play football without getting hurt" (24). "Playing hurt isn't optional" (107). I do not get this: this (wrecking your body as well as your mind) is virtue? For a game?
". . . . a healing miracle" (118). Apparently football is important to God. Or perhaps football, and the wealth and fame it brings, are Utecht's gods
I give this four stars as a qualitative example of is game twists our values and corrupts our society.
February 23, 2020
I listened to the audio version of this book. Audio quality was good and easy to listen to. I think it’s always better when the author reads the book themselves, as is the case here.
The book was a little different than what I expected. It’s more of an autobiography of Ben’s whole life (as it relates to football) rather than just the message he wants to leave with his family. I wasn’t really sure what direction the book was going to go, based on the title, but I enjoyed the background it provided.
As someone who works in sports medicine, I found Ben’s experience to be very interesting and insightful. It provides excellent facts and details of the long-term, and delayed, affects of concussions.
As expected, the end of the book does tug at the readers emotions (at least in my experience listening to it). I believe the authors do an excellent job of sharing Ben’s story without an agenda they are trying to sell to the readers but it does an excellent job of sharing facts that raise questions and reinforce the importance of more research on the long-term affects of concussions and rules and rule enforcements to help keep athletes safe and reduce the long-term affects of concussions.
The book was a little different than what I expected. It’s more of an autobiography of Ben’s whole life (as it relates to football) rather than just the message he wants to leave with his family. I wasn’t really sure what direction the book was going to go, based on the title, but I enjoyed the background it provided.
As someone who works in sports medicine, I found Ben’s experience to be very interesting and insightful. It provides excellent facts and details of the long-term, and delayed, affects of concussions.
As expected, the end of the book does tug at the readers emotions (at least in my experience listening to it). I believe the authors do an excellent job of sharing Ben’s story without an agenda they are trying to sell to the readers but it does an excellent job of sharing facts that raise questions and reinforce the importance of more research on the long-term affects of concussions and rules and rule enforcements to help keep athletes safe and reduce the long-term affects of concussions.
March 25, 2024
I feel the need to start by saying this is a review of the book, not the life, and again as I often times say I hope no one actually reads this review. I really hate reviewing memoirs because I feel like a bad review is a kin to saying it was a bad life and that is not what I am saying AT ALL! I just didn't love the telling. I am so sad for Ben and his family for what they are going through, CTE is no joke and I am so sad for all the numerous players who had struggled with this disease privately before it was officially recognized and made public. I fully respect Ben and his families faith and love of the Lord and it clearly had/has a MAJOR impact on all things he does in life but it was bit heavy handed for my personal preference in what I thought would be a more football/CTE focused book. And that is okay, this is HIS life, HIS love letter, HIS memories and Ben has every right to write it however best fits for him. As a reader it just didn't hit for me. It was an okay book for me, I am glad I read it, especially as my husband and I have always wanted our son to play football... it opened up a lot of things to ponder when thinking about his involvement in the sport.
June 5, 2017
This one would've been better as a long magazine feature.
You're in for a lot of football and a lot of Jesus with this one. It was on my memory-book list and I'm a sucker for completing a list, so...
Also, don't tell me that you didn't know about concussions in the early 2000s, or that you would've stopped playing had they explained the risk. BS. You played football, a risky sport by any measure and you were, by your own description, a hot-headed young guy who considered coming out of retirement for another shot even after the damage was made clear to you. I get it, at the time we didn't know the full danger/risk, but we've seen the decline of enough boxers and football players that we at least knew there was a risk. You gambled on yourself, I'm sure never thinking you would have problems. I get it, we're invincible at 20.
All of that aside, I am glad to see that there has been a big shift with our youth and how concussions are evaluated/treated. I have heard fathers make jokes about their kids "having their bell rung," but I don't hear that anymore.
You're in for a lot of football and a lot of Jesus with this one. It was on my memory-book list and I'm a sucker for completing a list, so...
Also, don't tell me that you didn't know about concussions in the early 2000s, or that you would've stopped playing had they explained the risk. BS. You played football, a risky sport by any measure and you were, by your own description, a hot-headed young guy who considered coming out of retirement for another shot even after the damage was made clear to you. I get it, at the time we didn't know the full danger/risk, but we've seen the decline of enough boxers and football players that we at least knew there was a risk. You gambled on yourself, I'm sure never thinking you would have problems. I get it, we're invincible at 20.
All of that aside, I am glad to see that there has been a big shift with our youth and how concussions are evaluated/treated. I have heard fathers make jokes about their kids "having their bell rung," but I don't hear that anymore.
January 10, 2021
This book reminded me that we all have struggles in life. Even people who seem have it all can endure some of the greatest struggles. Ben had it all- money, fame, popularity playing in the NFL, but in the end none of this mattered as much as his girls. It takes great faith to live this life with purpose and to make a difference each day. Ben has learned how to do this with Gods help! This was such a great read for me as a life long resident of Minnesota and die hard Minnesota Gopher fan. I remember watching Ben Utecht play and I also remember meeting him in person at my church a few years ago. He truly is a good man and seeks to be a man of God. It was also fun reading this book as my good friend Chris Murray was Ben’s agent. I learned a lot about Chris and Ben’s story that I never knew before. Also I have had the good fortune of getting to know Rick Barron through Marked Men For Christ. “Interesting how each mans life affects those around them” - Clarence from It’s a Wonderful Life
March 26, 2022
3.0/5.0 - I was partway through Arnie: The Life of Arnold Palmer when I decided it just didn't interest me, so I went looking for another sports memoir. This came up during my search for Peyton Manning and my library owned a copy. I remember Ben Utecht's name from watching Colts games, so it was interest to read his story. His father was a Methodist minister, so playing sports was a way to make friends when they were called to a different parish. He suffered many injuries throughout his sports career, broken pelvis and ankle, hernia, but most noticeably concussion after concussion.
The book is focused on three things, his football career, his faith and family, and his journey to rebuild his life after football, to deal with the loss of memories and the aftermath of his many concussions. Today, he is a motivational speaker, musician, and advocate for people with TBI.
The book is focused on three things, his football career, his faith and family, and his journey to rebuild his life after football, to deal with the loss of memories and the aftermath of his many concussions. Today, he is a motivational speaker, musician, and advocate for people with TBI.
September 20, 2017
There is a lot of conversation currently regarding head trauma in athletes, in particular, football players. Loss of memory, dementia, and inappropriate actions are some of the long lasting effects for these players. In this book, Ben Utecht tells of his life as a son, a football player, a Christian, a singer, and a husband and father. It was interesting reading an insider's story of college and professional football. His love for family came through very strong, which makes his possible future situation all the sadder. I found myself wishing the very best for him and his family.
January 6, 2019
Compassionate and compelling story of Ben Utecht and his struggles with TBI due to football and concussions. I read this as my brother was watching college football and it made me wonder and hope that things have changed since his devestating injuries. Thanks to Ben for continuing to work with the Brain Injury Alliance and keeping this subject in the limelight for future generations so progress can continue for those who have had TBI's, are family or friends and work in the field. The research needs to continue!
March 30, 2024
I have never been into football, and what Ben has to say about the violence of the game turns me off even more. I am so glad my sons didn't want to play.
That being said, it was an interesting story of one man's journey in life, love and faith.
I met Ben once when he spoke at a function I attended. His father is a clergy colleague of mine; in fact, I was the associate pastor at the church in Hastings that Ben grew up in several years before Utechts moved to Hastings. That made his story extra interesting for me. I knew some of the people from the church that he alluded to.
That being said, it was an interesting story of one man's journey in life, love and faith.
I met Ben once when he spoke at a function I attended. His father is a clergy colleague of mine; in fact, I was the associate pastor at the church in Hastings that Ben grew up in several years before Utechts moved to Hastings. That made his story extra interesting for me. I knew some of the people from the church that he alluded to.
February 17, 2017
I think this is one of the sweetest love stories a man can give to his parents, wife and children. After an ride in the college and pro football arena, those wonderful sports collisions are causing him to loose pieces of my memories and life. His trust in God and opportunities to sing have been the perfect chance to record how much his life has been loved and valued.
Great eye opener for traumatic brain injury and effects.
Great eye opener for traumatic brain injury and effects.
September 30, 2017
Even though I'm by no means a football fan, this book was still interesting to me. I first heard of Ben Utecht either on Focus on the Family or Family Talk. I wanted to read his book, but then forgot about it, only to discover that my local library had a copy of it. This book chronicles the football career of Ben & how he trusted God though it. He is still trusting God as he deals w/ the aftermath of his many concussions.
August 18, 2018
3.5 stars - Heartfelt story of an athlete who had to give up on his dream and embrace the uncertainty of his future. I added this book to my ‘to read’ list after seeing the movie ‘Concussion’ which amazed me - crazy & sad findings. This book was more about football/religion and less about science/medicine. It was also titled “a love letter to my family” but that really only applied to the last couple chapters.
January 19, 2020
Overall loved the aspect of his journey in football, spiritual, and dealing with the repercussions of injuries. What I did not care for, was the focus on Jesus. I am not religious, however, I still cannot take away ratings for that reason because it helped him through his journey and continues to help him. I wish him and his family continued healing thoughts and hope that he's able to continue his promotion and education on the effects the injuries.
April 11, 2020
Meh- was hoping he would be more vulnerable in describing his symptoms and issues with concussion to hopefully recommend to some of my patients
It was more a mediocre memoir with superficial touchings on the impact of brain injury in life. He spent more time talking about he became a pro football player than his brain injury- maybe I was disappointed because the title of the book was misleading in my opinion about the topic of this book.
It was more a mediocre memoir with superficial touchings on the impact of brain injury in life. He spent more time talking about he became a pro football player than his brain injury- maybe I was disappointed because the title of the book was misleading in my opinion about the topic of this book.
September 26, 2021
The title of this book is very misleading. The first 2/3 of this book covered football, growing up and a bit of family stuff. The last 1/3 (starting around chapter 17 of 24) finally covered only “minimal” discussion on the actual topic of the book... brain injury and memory loss. I found myself waiting for more details but they never came. Sadly I was disappointed and not really overly interested in this story.
January 16, 2023
I enjoyed this book and loved the behind the scenes of football. I did think the writing was a little dumbed down for the reader aka every football play he had to explain what an audible was, cross route etc. I thought it would be more geared towards his wife and kids but was more geared towards the industry of football and the protocols that led to him having such traumatic brain injuries. I thought the ending was sweet and never heard his hit song before.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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