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294 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 26, 2015
The Realm Of You by Amanda Richardson
Heartbreaking, Captivating, Deeply Emotional and Haunting this is the story of what could have been, and how it’s never too late to get your happy ending even when you’ve made a wrong turn.
Warning: this book deals with dark themes such as self-harm and suicide, possible triggers tread carefully.
I really liked this book; it was very thought provoking. It made me think about a lot of things I’ve done in the past that may have seemed insignificant at the moment but made a big impact on how my life turned out.
I highlighted so many passages if it was a physical copy it would look like a coloring book. Every word spoke to a darkness deep inside me that I kept carefully buried to avoid looking at it. The author did an outstanding job of depicting characters with mental illness, she avoided stereotypes and clichés and I appreciate it so hats off to that.
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“My eyelids flutter open. Morning, again.
Some people say that mornings bring renewal- the dawn of a new day, or some bullshit like that. I can’t seem to agree. Mornings for me are just a reminder of the end I failed to give myself. There is no hope for someone like me. I’m broken. I’m too broken. There are cracks in my heart that will never heal over.” Sebastian.
I love how she didn’t make Sebastian’s illness a result of some trauma because in real life sometimes depression hits and the will to live simply cease to exist for no apparent reason.
Marlin has a boyfriend Charlie who is emotionally abusive and controlling. She stayed with him because he was her first and she felt like she owed him because he pulled her trough a traumatic experience; she also thought she loved him.
“Charlie loves me-all of me. He loves the hell out of me. That’s why I let him do this. That’s why I stay. Sure there are things I might modify about him, about us, but right now he’s all I have. So I deal with it. I deal with lackluster sex. I deal with his shitty parents and his idiocy. He loves me despite my flaws, so I can and should love him despite his. It’s not like I have anywhere else to go. He saved me simple as that. You should always stay with your hero.”
One day she wakes up in stranger’s bed and thinks she was kidnapped only to realize later on that she was in an alternate universe living in another state and engaged to a man she doesn’t recognize. As she tries to make sense of her new surroundings she spends the day trying to figure out how she ended up there and discovers that she doesn’t want to leave. It was a glimpse of the perfect life, everything she could have ever wished for.
“I’m shocked to feel so normal here, like I already fit in. It’s as if I was plucked from my real life and placed right into the life I was supposed to be living”
The next day she wakes up in a hospital bed and figures out that that the other life was nothing but a dream. But having experienced the happiness and wonderful life she could have instead of the one she was currently living she finds the courage to leave her boyfriend and uproot her life to Vermont to regain the joy de vivre she felt in her dream.
What she finds there, are things she never thought she would ever have, and thus begins her journey of recovery and finding real love. In an unputdownable, consuming read you’ll keep turning the pages and biting your nails right along with her trying to figure out what’s going to happen next.
Surprisingly there was some good natured humor thrown in, it balanced the darkness of the theme and I loved it.
“You know all morning you’ve avoided looking at King Henry.”
No, no, no. Please don’t let King Henry be the name for his penis. That’s so wrong is so many ways but the way he’s shaking his hips in my peripheral vision makes me cringe.”
I liked Marlin a lot she was a very relatable character and good hearted but in a very dark place before she fell apart.
“When the water starts to warm, I sit in the corner, and I cry. My hands are itching for the razor. I turn my palms over and study the white lines left from last time-a month ago. A familiar detached sadness fills my entire being.”
“Once people have gone through certain things, felt certain things, and been broken in certain ways, they can’t be fixed. I cannot ever be fixed.”
“I think of life as jail, and I think of death as freedom.”
The story is told from Marlin’s point of view. Alternating between the past and the alternate universe in the first couple chapters and the switch is done so seamlessly and beautifully that it feels like the natural way this story should be told.
Sebastian her fiancée in the other life was sweet, tender and loving and immensely sexy. But when she found him in real life he was a total mess more broken then she was.
“Once I get outside, I feel it- the crackle in the air, the fire in my belly. Life is magnanimous. Life is durable. Why can’t I be durable? This is the one thing I think I might actually hate myself for: that I want to voluntarily end my life when so many people fight for theirs every single day.”
He was so completely broken and it was heartbreaking to watch but slowly and surely Marlin made him want to live again. I don’t want to spoil the rest of the story and I recommend you go in blind because there are so many great things that happen, you’ll be glad you read it without knowing beforehand.
If you feel like you’re misunderstood, down and plain depressed give this book a shot it may just take you out of your fog.
This is a great story of healing, learning to love life and hope for a better future.
Highly recommended. 4.5+++ Stars
Purchase Kindle: Here



