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Your Friend Forever, A. Lincoln: The Enduring Friendship of Abraham Lincoln and Joshua Speed
In the spring of 1837, a "long, gawky, ugly, shapeless man" walked into Joshua Speed's dry-goods store and asked for supplies for a bed. He couldn't afford the price, but Speed was taken with the visitor, who "threw such charm around him" and betrayed a "perfect naturalness." "He could act no part but his own," Speed later wrote. "He copied no one either in manner or style." So Speed suggested the young lawyer stay with him in a room over his store for free, initiating what would become one of the most important friendships in American history.
Speed was Abraham Lincoln's closest confidant, offering this shy and anxious political talent invaluable support after the death of his first love, Ann Rutledge, and during his rocky courtship of Mary Ann Todd. Lincoln returned repeatedly to Speed for guidance even though the two disagreed on political matters. Your Friend Forever, A. Lincoln is a rich analysis of a relationship that was both a model of male friendship and a specific dynamic between two brilliant but fascinatingly flawed men who played off each other's strengths and weaknesses to launch themselves in love and life. Their friendship resolves important questions about Lincoln's early years and adds significant psychological depth to his later decisions as husband, war leader, and president.
Speed was Abraham Lincoln's closest confidant, offering this shy and anxious political talent invaluable support after the death of his first love, Ann Rutledge, and during his rocky courtship of Mary Ann Todd. Lincoln returned repeatedly to Speed for guidance even though the two disagreed on political matters. Your Friend Forever, A. Lincoln is a rich analysis of a relationship that was both a model of male friendship and a specific dynamic between two brilliant but fascinatingly flawed men who played off each other's strengths and weaknesses to launch themselves in love and life. Their friendship resolves important questions about Lincoln's early years and adds significant psychological depth to his later decisions as husband, war leader, and president.
352 pages, Hardcover
First published May 3, 2016
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
November 1, 2016
Excellent account of Lincoln's friendship with Joshua Speed and the role it played in Lincoln's courtship of his wife.
February 6, 2019
This was a book that I had to read a bit at a time, as it is very detailed and even occasionally somewhat repetitious, but nevertheless, in spite of its rather dry and academic approach, it is a fascinating and illuminating account of the friendship between Abraham Lincoln and Joshua Speed. I got a bit irritated with the author continually stressing that the relationship was not a homosexual one (who cares, now??) but overall I enjoyed it and certainly feel that I am a little closer to understanding Lincoln’s character and especially his struggle with depression. Well worth reading.
February 23, 2019
Strozier has done excellent scholarship on the friendship of Lincoln and Speed. I was impressed by his access to primary sources and his presentation. Nicely done.
February 12, 2016
In his book, Your Friend Forever, A.Lincoln:The Enduring Friendship of Abraham Lincoln and Joshua Speed, Charles B. Strozier takes an in-depth look at one of closest relationships of our 16th President. Using correspondence between the two men, other contemporaries’ accounts at the time, and historical context, the author examines what may be one of the lesser known but important friendships of American History.
Your Friend Forever, A. Lincoln chronicles the journey of two young men who have similar dispositions and find solace and support in the mutual friendship that would last more than thirty years. Filled with personal insights, it is a fascinating profile from beginning to end. However, it is disturbing that so much of the book is devoted to debunking accusations of deviant behavior and relying on psychoanalytic theories. It is not surprising that Lincoln’s bouts of depression are well-documented, but I am disappointed that much of the book dwells on conjecture rather than documentation of Lincoln’s and Speed’s friendship.
Although there are bright spots in Your Friend Forever, A Lincoln, I found it to be a rather academic and difficult read.
I was given a free copy from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.
Your Friend Forever, A. Lincoln chronicles the journey of two young men who have similar dispositions and find solace and support in the mutual friendship that would last more than thirty years. Filled with personal insights, it is a fascinating profile from beginning to end. However, it is disturbing that so much of the book is devoted to debunking accusations of deviant behavior and relying on psychoanalytic theories. It is not surprising that Lincoln’s bouts of depression are well-documented, but I am disappointed that much of the book dwells on conjecture rather than documentation of Lincoln’s and Speed’s friendship.
Although there are bright spots in Your Friend Forever, A Lincoln, I found it to be a rather academic and difficult read.
I was given a free copy from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.
August 14, 2016
I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. Thank you!!!
An enjoyable look at a man on the “edge of politics” who had a strong influence on Lincoln’s development. Joshua Speed is overlooked in the history of Abraham Lincoln and the American Civil War.
The author uses correspondence between Lincoln and Speed, the historical context and the recollections of other contemporaries of the time, to build a narrative of an under rated friendship in American history.
Both men have a similar outlook on life and their similar tendencies bring them closely together allowing them to find support in their friendship which would endure over thirty years. I found the insights of the author fascinating.
One criticism I have of the book is that it tends to over labour the point that Lincoln and Speed did not have a gay relationship. If the author believes this to be the case, I believe he should put forth that theory and then concentrate on providing documented aspects of their friendship and not rely on inconclusive evidence.
Overall it was great to learn of a man who has played such an important part, (but who has stood in the shadow), of such an important historical figure as Abraham Lincoln.
An enjoyable look at a man on the “edge of politics” who had a strong influence on Lincoln’s development. Joshua Speed is overlooked in the history of Abraham Lincoln and the American Civil War.
The author uses correspondence between Lincoln and Speed, the historical context and the recollections of other contemporaries of the time, to build a narrative of an under rated friendship in American history.
Both men have a similar outlook on life and their similar tendencies bring them closely together allowing them to find support in their friendship which would endure over thirty years. I found the insights of the author fascinating.
One criticism I have of the book is that it tends to over labour the point that Lincoln and Speed did not have a gay relationship. If the author believes this to be the case, I believe he should put forth that theory and then concentrate on providing documented aspects of their friendship and not rely on inconclusive evidence.
Overall it was great to learn of a man who has played such an important part, (but who has stood in the shadow), of such an important historical figure as Abraham Lincoln.
May 3, 2018
Good work. It reminded me that Farmington, the Speed home, is now a museum in Louisville, and I've never been there. Next time in Louisville I will visit it.
February 20, 2018
I received a free PDF copy of Your Friend Forever, A. Lincoln by Charles B. Strozier courtesy of Net Galley and Columbia University Press, the publisher. It was with the understanding that I would post a review to Net Galley, Goodreads, Amazon, Barnes and Noble and my nonfiction book review blog. I also posted it to my Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter and Google Plus pages.
I requested this book as I have read a number of biographies about the Presidents of the United States including several on Abraham Lincoln. This is the first book by Charles B. Strozier that I have read.
The subtitle of the book, "The Enduring Friendship of Abraham Lincoln and Josuha Speed", accurately describes the content. The primary focus is on Lincoln's early years before he becomes President. The book attempts to provide more of a pyschoanalytic look at Lincoln and the relations with Speed (stressing that they were not gay), the causes for Lincoln's dark moods and depression and his vacillation in his courting of Mary Todd.
I found the author's writing style to be on the dry side which can really hamper a history book, but the subject may be interesting enough for others to undertake reading it or find the author's writing style more to their taste that I did.
I requested this book as I have read a number of biographies about the Presidents of the United States including several on Abraham Lincoln. This is the first book by Charles B. Strozier that I have read.
The subtitle of the book, "The Enduring Friendship of Abraham Lincoln and Josuha Speed", accurately describes the content. The primary focus is on Lincoln's early years before he becomes President. The book attempts to provide more of a pyschoanalytic look at Lincoln and the relations with Speed (stressing that they were not gay), the causes for Lincoln's dark moods and depression and his vacillation in his courting of Mary Todd.
I found the author's writing style to be on the dry side which can really hamper a history book, but the subject may be interesting enough for others to undertake reading it or find the author's writing style more to their taste that I did.
August 11, 2023
Lincoln's friendship with Speed has always inspired me and I was excited to read a book dedicated to it. Overall, it provided a lot of new-to-me information regarding Lincoln and Speed's friendship while also refreshing my memory on some details I had heard before. One section that I found particularly interesting dealt with how Speed and Lincoln helped each other navigate the difficulties of courtship and how Speed's marriage
The only reason I give this book four stars instead of five is because it lacked the narrative "umph" that makes a truly great book stand out above the rest; it just wasn't a page-turner.
The only reason I give this book four stars instead of five is because it lacked the narrative "umph" that makes a truly great book stand out above the rest; it just wasn't a page-turner.
March 5, 2020
This book exceeded my expectations. It is packed with interesting information about Abraham Lincoln and Joshua Speed. Both of them had "issues" with women, but their mutual support for one another helped them move forward into relatively successful marriages.
August 13, 2024
A fascinating exploration of Lincoln from the inside out. While most historians focus on what Lincoln did, Strozier leads us on a journey through Lincoln’s emotional core in hopes of understanding the man’s why.
March 25, 2023
Well done and researched. My low rating for me personally is it was difficult to keep my interest, though there were parts that did, so I continued to slog through it.
April 12, 2017
This is a book that had to be written. Much has been said about the "enduring friendship" between Abraham Lincoln and Joshua Speed, but Charles Strozier covers the material better than any other treatment I've seen. As both a historian and a psychoanalyst, Strozier instills the benefit of dual insights into his examination of this somewhat unique relationship.
But how unique was it really? Strozier argues that these sort of male bondings were commonplace during the 19th century, filling a void between leaving the family home and setting up house with a wife. These friendships allowed men to build relationships and work through insecurities as they begin to make their way in the world. Normally the relationships stop once marriage occurs. Indeed, as both men took on wives their correspondence lagged for many years.
Early on in the book Strozier takes direct aim at the suggestion of some sort of gay relationship. In short, there is no evidence for, and overwhelming evidence against, such a thing. The idea stems from the fact of Speed and Lincoln sharing a bed for several years when Lincoln first moved to Springfield. With such a low standard, virtually all men of that time period would be considered gay.
The rest of the book delves into the individual and overlapping lives of the two men before meeting, the interactions during that period of living in the room above Speed's store (including their individual courtships of various women), and their letters once Speed moved back to Kentucky. It is these letters that offer the most revealing look into Lincoln's thoughts on friendship, love, and marriage, first as he prompts Speed on his impending matrimony, and then as Speed provides support to Lincoln's somewhat more tumultuous courtship of Mary Todd. Along the way Strozier inserts some of his own psychoanalytical thoughts in an attempt to evaluate what the two men meant to each other.
I do have some minor criticisms of the book, mostly to do with repetition of extracts from key letters. For example, in one section the author several times prints a large passage and then follows it with a paragraph or two in which he repeats virtually every line again with only rudimentary additional explanation. There is repetition in some of his own language and thoughts presented as well. I found these to be distracting, but not hugely so.
Overall, the book is an excellent, and much needed, examination of this sometimes controversial but deeply significant relationship in the life of our 16th president. It offers us much more about Joshua Speed himself, whose life outside of Lincoln is generally glossed over in other Lincoln biographies but which provides substantial insight into both men. Those who want to understand more about Lincoln, the man, should definitely add this book to their reading list.
But how unique was it really? Strozier argues that these sort of male bondings were commonplace during the 19th century, filling a void between leaving the family home and setting up house with a wife. These friendships allowed men to build relationships and work through insecurities as they begin to make their way in the world. Normally the relationships stop once marriage occurs. Indeed, as both men took on wives their correspondence lagged for many years.
Early on in the book Strozier takes direct aim at the suggestion of some sort of gay relationship. In short, there is no evidence for, and overwhelming evidence against, such a thing. The idea stems from the fact of Speed and Lincoln sharing a bed for several years when Lincoln first moved to Springfield. With such a low standard, virtually all men of that time period would be considered gay.
The rest of the book delves into the individual and overlapping lives of the two men before meeting, the interactions during that period of living in the room above Speed's store (including their individual courtships of various women), and their letters once Speed moved back to Kentucky. It is these letters that offer the most revealing look into Lincoln's thoughts on friendship, love, and marriage, first as he prompts Speed on his impending matrimony, and then as Speed provides support to Lincoln's somewhat more tumultuous courtship of Mary Todd. Along the way Strozier inserts some of his own psychoanalytical thoughts in an attempt to evaluate what the two men meant to each other.
I do have some minor criticisms of the book, mostly to do with repetition of extracts from key letters. For example, in one section the author several times prints a large passage and then follows it with a paragraph or two in which he repeats virtually every line again with only rudimentary additional explanation. There is repetition in some of his own language and thoughts presented as well. I found these to be distracting, but not hugely so.
Overall, the book is an excellent, and much needed, examination of this sometimes controversial but deeply significant relationship in the life of our 16th president. It offers us much more about Joshua Speed himself, whose life outside of Lincoln is generally glossed over in other Lincoln biographies but which provides substantial insight into both men. Those who want to understand more about Lincoln, the man, should definitely add this book to their reading list.
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews