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Killed Once, Lived Twice
In 2010, young Abby becomes infatuated with the old newspaper article about Jennifer who was shot and drowned the morning of her planned wedding in 1961. Abby learned that her old neighbor, Michael was Jennifer's fiance back in 1961 and he built a time machine in his garage. After he died suddenly, she uses his machine and time travel's back to 1961. There she meets a young Michael and Jennifer and befriends them. But now she must determine how can she save Jennifer from being shot then drowned and identify the murderer."
274 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 4, 2013
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Displaying 1 of 1 review
April 23, 2016
Firstly, I have not finished this book, indeed I didn't get further than the Prologue and then Chapter 1.
Regretfully I couldn't read his book. I do admire anyone who actually writes and publishes a book; it's a feat that I have been unable to accomplish. But I have to say that most books need editing. Many of them, like this one, need very serious editing. Unfortunately Mr Whitmore's prose involves a great deal of 'unsatisfactory' grammar; additionally (something I remember from a film about Mozart) it has far 'too many words'!
Here are two of many examples; remembering that I've only got half way through the first chapter:
Quote:
Behind the desk sat Dr Bowman.
He was eighty-two years old with glasses, thin framed, balding white hair, and a white goatee. He always wore a tweed jacket with brown patches on the elbows.
He read Abby's resume.
Dr Bowman placed her resume down on the desk and looked at Abby.
Unquote.
Criticism: "He always wore a tweed jacket..." How would she know that so soon?
And: how about: 'He read her resume, then placing it on his desk he looked at her'? We KNOW his name is Dr Bowman and we KNOW she was the only other person in the room!
Quote:
"Let me walk you to the door," Dr Bowman said while he walked out from behind his desk.
Dr Bowman walked Abby to his office door.
Unquote.
Why not: ' "Let me walk you to the door," said Dr Bowman, coming out from behind his desk.'
Obviously we can assume he walked her to the door! Thus 16 instead of 25 words. In the short amount that I read there were already more than a dozen such examples.
OK, so I'm picky. But the fact is I cannot read a whole book with literally (probably) hundreds of such over-stated and over-detailed sentences. I have another of his books, Murder Outside Haneyville, which one can be sure is written in the same style. So obviously I cannot read that also.
Really sorry Mr Whitmore, I hope you keep trying. But PLEASE get your books edited. Seriously edited.
Regretfully I couldn't read his book. I do admire anyone who actually writes and publishes a book; it's a feat that I have been unable to accomplish. But I have to say that most books need editing. Many of them, like this one, need very serious editing. Unfortunately Mr Whitmore's prose involves a great deal of 'unsatisfactory' grammar; additionally (something I remember from a film about Mozart) it has far 'too many words'!
Here are two of many examples; remembering that I've only got half way through the first chapter:
Quote:
Behind the desk sat Dr Bowman.
He was eighty-two years old with glasses, thin framed, balding white hair, and a white goatee. He always wore a tweed jacket with brown patches on the elbows.
He read Abby's resume.
Dr Bowman placed her resume down on the desk and looked at Abby.
Unquote.
Criticism: "He always wore a tweed jacket..." How would she know that so soon?
And: how about: 'He read her resume, then placing it on his desk he looked at her'? We KNOW his name is Dr Bowman and we KNOW she was the only other person in the room!
Quote:
"Let me walk you to the door," Dr Bowman said while he walked out from behind his desk.
Dr Bowman walked Abby to his office door.
Unquote.
Why not: ' "Let me walk you to the door," said Dr Bowman, coming out from behind his desk.'
Obviously we can assume he walked her to the door! Thus 16 instead of 25 words. In the short amount that I read there were already more than a dozen such examples.
OK, so I'm picky. But the fact is I cannot read a whole book with literally (probably) hundreds of such over-stated and over-detailed sentences. I have another of his books, Murder Outside Haneyville, which one can be sure is written in the same style. So obviously I cannot read that also.
Really sorry Mr Whitmore, I hope you keep trying. But PLEASE get your books edited. Seriously edited.
Displaying 1 of 1 review