Buying a Bride: An Engaging History of Mail-Order Matches

by Marcia A. Zug

There have always been mail-order brides in America―but we haven’t always thought about them in the same ways. In Buying a Bride, Marcia A. Zug starts with the so-called “Tobacco Wives” of the Jamestown colony and moves all the way forward to today’s modern same-sex mail-order grooms to explore the advantages and disadvantages of mail-order marriage. It’s a history of deception, physical abuse, and failed unions. It’s also the story of how mail-order marriage can offer women surprising and empowering opportunities.

Drawing on a forgotten trove of colorful mail-order marriage court cases, Zug explores the many troubling legal issues that arise in mail-order domestic abuse and murder, breach of contract, fraud (especially relating to immigration), and human trafficking and prostitution. She tells the story of how mail-order marriage lost the benign reputation it enjoyed in the Civil War era to become more and more reviled over time, and she argues compellingly that it does not entirely deserve its current reputation. While it is a common misperception that women turn to mail-order marriage as a desperate last resort, most mail-order brides are enticed rather than coerced. Since the first mail-order brides arrived on American shores in 1619, mail-order marriage has enabled women to improve both their marital prospects and their legal, political, and social freedoms. Buying A Bride uncovers this history and shows us how mail-order marriage empowers women and should be protected and even encouraged.

Genres: Nonfiction, History, Sociology, Research

320 pages, Hardcover

First published June 7, 2016

Reviews

[Darren · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hands up if you thought that mail-order brides were a relatively new phenomena, restricted perhaps to some Asian and eastern European countries. You would be wrong…

The author of this wonderfully engaging book looks at mail-order brides from an American perspective and it has its roots deep in history, importing ladies from many countries. In earlier times it was viewed as a form of future breeding stock and necessary to bring balance to the predominantly male pioneers. When there was difficulty attracting females to be exported, it could be time to dragoon in some convicts, trick a few people or make a very, very compelling offer and promise (that may be latterly broken).

Abuse, deception, trickery and failure has accompanied each successive wave of mail-order brides over time, although through adversity and trouble has also come empowerment and opportunity for some women. The author has dug into a rich seam of long-forgotten legal cases to bring this fascinating book to life. It does not hector or judge, but highlights a broad range of problems ranging from breach of contract to human trafficking and prostitution and these issues are not things consigned solely to the history books.

This is a meticulously researched book that could give much to the academic researcher whilst remaining open and accessible to the casual, interested reader. It was one of those great little finds that was hard to put down, despite it being a subject that might not have ordinarily been in the middle of this reviewer’s reading focus.

There’s not a lot more to add. If you hadn’t considered this book but are open to reading something different, take a chance on it and prepare to be lost in the book for a fair few evenings!

[Please Pass the Books · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a fantastic, fantastic chronicle! Detailing the various experiences and accounts of mail order brides, Buying a Bride: An Engaging History of Mail-Order Matches digs deep and delivers a no-holds-barred narrative on a subject that has been left (until now) to modern documentaries and fan-fiction that barely scratches the surface. Going into this, I suppose I expected something a little more like "Birthday Girl", but was instead engrossed in a fascinating history dating back to the founding of the US. Despite sometimes reading like a textbook, Buying a Bride is a captivating study. Zug forces a conversation about the good, the bad, and the ugly, but does so with a weapon that few will be able to argue with: The truth.

I'd like to thank Net Galley and the publisher, NYU Press, for providing a copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinion, which this certainly is.

[Suzanne LaPierre · Rating 5 out of 5]

I bought this book via the Virginia Museum of History and Culture. It begins with the immigration of English women to Jamestown to provide potential mates for male settlers, and goes on to explore the phenomena of large scale arranged immigration or relocation of women to address gender imbalances, as well as more specific mail-order matches in North America (Canada and the US) throughout the last several centuries.

While a few of these endeavors sank to the level of human trafficking (including forced transport of women from prisons, orphanages and poor houses when not enough willing volunteers could be found), in most cases these migrations were the deliberate choice of women seeking to better their economic, legal, and social status. Laws in states with few females often were made more advantageous to women in order to attract them, such as the right to retain their own property and inheritances after marriage, and later the right to vote. Many women who were stuck in very low wage jobs with little chance of improving their social and financial condition found opportunity by migrating from eastern cities to the western territory during the gold rush, for example. Often they would come for jobs as teachers and shop clerks and marriage was a secondary concern. A few went on to become successful businesswomen and even elected officials.

The title "Buying a Bride" is a little misleading because in most cases these women weren't purchased; if anything their transportation costs were covered and often they were free to choose who or if they wanted to marry after re-locating.

Unfortunately, the history of "mail order" marriage in the US was often tainted by racism- for example, to prevent European settlers from inter-marrying with Native women, religious and political leaders sometimes imported White women to serve as wives instead. This happened because the European settlers usually joined the Native communities of their wives rather than converting them to Christianity or "civilizing" them to European ways as had been hoped. Often Native women and their children were abandoned by their settler husbands when White women were imported as potential wives.

Part two of the book explores war brides and how the favorable reputation of "mail order" marriage took a downward turn when it resulted in women from other countries immigrating to the US. This part also explores the rise of individually-placed want ads that enabled people to be more specific about the kind of match they desired. The author (who specializes in law and immigration) also touches upon same sex marriage. When same-sex marriage became legal in the US, this opened the door for men in other countries (particularly Russia and the Ukraine, where homosexuality is still greatly stigmatized) to apply as mail-order spouses, so that it is no longer a single-gender phenomenon.

Overall, a very interesting study, particularly when it comes to how immigration and migration patterns designed to supply men with potential wives had a big impact on how North America developed after European settlement.

[Kara · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fascinating lens to view American history through – here we see how mail order brides have been a part of American since Jamestown and through today.

Critically, it reveals just how much this country is drenched in racism. When mail order brides provide white women in places like the Jamestown colony, the Oregon territory or the new state of California to provide men with an alternative to marrying the local indigenous women, the system is given government protections and publicly lauded – but when mail order brides bring in non-white brides – Chinese women brought in to marry Chinese railroad workers, Japanese war-brides coming home with American soldiers, Philippine women an American “courted” through an internet site – then the government does nothing or even throws up roadblocks, and the public clutches their pearls and screeches about morality. Verrrrrrrrry telling.

Gave me much to think about and I definitely now see both the subject and American colonization from a new angle.

[Susan Amper · Rating 4 out of 5]

BUYING A BRIDE by Marcia A. Zug is a fascinating timeline of bride buying beginning with the Tobacco Wives of the Jamestown Community through the post-Civil War era. While mail-order marriage offered women benefits including legal, social and political freedoms, many came at a high cost.

Zug wades through the court cases to tell many of the stories of women who were defrauded, abused, trafficked, and worse.

It's a fascinating story well worth the read.

[Killian · Rating 4 out of 5]

Zug has managed to put together a very interesting history of a small sub-set of people who have gotten some pretty negative press over the years. It was fascinating to read about the origins of the "mail-order bride" in America in Jamestown, and the sad story of the Filles du Roi in Louisiana. There is also an extensive section on brides from China, Korean and Japan, which introduced me to an entirely new type of mail-order bride I hadn't read about before.

The area that covered the modern era seemed a bit thin though. For the most part it was a treatise on why modern men feel the need to seek mail-order brides when, in America, our population is pretty evenly divided between the sexes. There was also a lot of time spent on exploring the women's perspectives and what they are gaining. All of this was interesting, and essential to understanding the issues as they stand today, but there was minimal time spent on the potential pitfalls inherent in the system aside from protecting these women from abuse. I guess it just felt like an overly cheery picture was being painted, but maybe I'm just another victim of the negative media campaign.

Overall this was a fascinating read, but it ended up feeling light by the time we got to modern day. The historical research and information covering the subject from colonization into industrial period is well presented, I just felt that it fell flat at the end.

Copy courtesy of NYU Press, via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Maria · Rating 1 out of 5]

i admit, i couldnt finish it.
it was more boring than even a history book.
Pretty much at least half of the book just quotes random ads in papers. Hundred pages!
I have barely seen any substance inside half of the book, i cant do it to myself any longer.

[Alycia Moore · Rating 1 out of 5]

I dislike this book for a number of reasons. Mainly because the author is hellbent in describing and emphasizing the “tragedy” of the poorly educated white man who is being “excluded” from marriage. So are “forced” to look outside the country because American women won’t even look at them.

Seriously? White men are the most privileged in America and the author seems to think that their plight is an external one. Or in reality, that they’re simply not handed a woman on a silver platter like they are in most situations. Look at wage gaps between genders and races. Author points to some debunked articles stating that women earn the same as men. This is simply false.

Second thing that bothers me - saying something a million times doesn’t make it fact. Saying that mail order brides benefit equally as the men - WITHOUT CLARIFYING THE MAIN REASON is misleading. Anyone who actually knows anything about this topic knows it’s mainly socioeconomic.

Overall, if you’re a white man that feels like no American girl wants to look at you - and you want to wallow in your self made pity then read this book.

It starts off interesting about the history of mail order brides (TLDR used women as ploys to get early white colonizers from going off with Native American women) and then spirals quickly downhill as it finishes that arc and enters the modern era.

[Kirbook · Rating 4 out of 5]

Zug's "Buying a Bride: An Engaging History of Mail-Order Matches" details the history of mail-order brides arriving to North America. Focusing on the motivations of the brides to travel to different countries or states, Zug demonstrates that mail-order brides have faced positive and negative sentiments from society over the last 400 years. She challenges the negative connotation this practice has received in recent history, and argues that though some brides found themselves in undesirable situations, mail-order marriage was also a way for women to assert independence and found the practice liberating. This book shows that love should not be the only supported reason for marriage, but that choice (for other reasons such as financial, geographic, safety, ect) should be the center of marriage motivations.
I personally found this book eye-opening, as I had not considered the feminist argument behind mail-order marriage. That mail-order marriages could be an empowering life choice for some. Or that mail-order marriage has been affected by and has affected racist and sexist ideologies. Through the positives and negatives, none-the-less "Buying a Bride" has been an interesting and educational read.

[Evan Þ. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Zug, despite writing from a mainstream feminist standpoint, is surprisingly positive about "mail-order brides" both historically and in the modern day. She argues that advertisements for spouses - such as from the colonial authorities in early Canada, or from individual suitors in 1800's America - played a similar social role to modern internet dating by expanding people's marriage possibilities and giving women the option of emigrating to places where they were more "in demand."

Though Zug doesn't use these terms, she portrays the "marriage market" through modern history as, indeed, an economic market. For example, the shortage of women on the 1800's American frontier spurred states to liberalize their laws to attract women - such as California's letting married women manage their own property, and Wyoming even giving them the vote. Society and government often tried to intervene in this market - sometimes to help it, such as 1700's France bringing suitable women to Canada; sometimes to impede it, such as 1700's England banning marriage without the brides' parents' consent.

There's room for many more studies here, both from a sociological and economic point of view. I'd love to see them.

[Bethany Swafford · Rating 5 out of 5]

From the first colony in America to modern day, there have been mail-order marriages. Many believe it to be the last resort of a desperate woman and rife with abuse and deception. The truth, however, might differ greatly from what is commonly believed.

I thought this was a fascinating read. It starts with the Jamestown colony. The author shows how beneficial it was for woman to agree to cross the ocean for marriage. It was the choice of each woman to do so, and there were harsh consequences for those who tried to force a woman against their will to the colonies. Women had more rights than they'd ever had before, a fact that remained for decades.

The author details how mail-order brides went from a respected course of action to a reviled idea. It was interesting to read how much Americans detested when a woman from another country married and gained citizenship.

For those who would like to know more about the history of mail-order brides and what makes it different from human trafficking, I would recommend this book!

[Adam Cummings · Rating 5 out of 5]

Super interesting, this book goes into a history of migration and marriage noting that the frontier is often male and the presence of women and the establishment of families indicates a “civilizing” of said frontier. From the demands of the colonies, westward expansion, picture brides and so on. Zug skillfully shows another way to look at marriage throughout history, the roles of the bride their incentives for marrying in this manner.

Overall I think differently about transactional elements in all marriages and their place in society, and how historical demands and circumstances shaped the union of marriage.

100% recommended for anyone studying marriage history, family history, gender history, etc. but I also think even if you’re not interested in any of that, you will still learn a whole lot and get an interesting facet of social history.

[M.A. Nichols · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a fascinating view into the history of mail-order brides. Beginning in the 1600s, it discusses that history during colonial times in both America & Canada, and goes all the way up to modern times. It is really comprehensive and focuses on explaining the social acceptance of that practice and how it's shifted throughout the centuries.

If you're interested in this subject, I found it very fascinating. It provides a ton of first hand accounts and historical context for the practice, even dispelling quite a lot of the myths surrounding it.

[Martha · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting study of mail-order brides throughout American history. Since this is a fairly academic book, I'll make a couple of academic criticisms: I would have liked a bibliography, in addition to the notes; and the editing was not very careful. There were a few typos, but I was mainly bothered by the fact that the author consistently used the word "immigration" when she actually meant emigration. Yes, I'm a quibbler by nature. Otherwise, this was an interesting and accessible book.

[Susan Tan · Rating 3 out of 5]

this is an engaging read about history of settlements and immigration to West in 1800s and before from POV of women. I learned about marriage courtship throughout western history and how much more power women had in negotiating marriage deals for themselves in places where colonial settlements had very few women. the story of mail order brides is re framed by author as female empowerment which is not completely persuasive because lack of hard data.

[Darnell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fascinating book, in that I knew next to nothing about this thread of history and some of what I thought I knew was wrong. Very readable, with a good balance of scope and depth.

However, the book falters when it reaches the modern era. This isn't a huge concern, as seven of eight chapters are purely historical, but it was disappointing that the ending really pushes for a hasty conclusion. Aside from a few issues (like domestic violence) it lacked rigor and just brushed past numerous issues.

[Courtney · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent overview of the history of "mail order marriage", from the Jamestown brides to the rise of modern marriage agencies. There was a lot more focus on historical mail order marriage as it related to the expansion of immigration into the American West, while comparably little was given towards modern concepts of the mail order bride (though Zug did include anecdotes from modern brides, which I appreciated). Her defense of the mail order bride concept was well thought through with solid sources as well.

Would have easily been a 5 had there been just a little bit more focus on the rise of modern marriage agencies, and perhaps some additional information on why there's a stigma around certain countries.

[Shannon Ferguson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Incredibly informative, non-fiction view of mail order marriage across American history — from the colonial period to frontier times to post-Civil War to current. It would be interesting to look at migration patterns to other countries aside from the U.S., but that wasn’t covered. This book reads like someone’s thesis, but I found it interesting nonetheless.

[Vasil Kolev · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book starts with the earliest historical cases, and moves to the present day. It's overly focused on
USA, and for me lacks depth and information on the more recent developments (I found the last chapter lacking).

Otherwise, this is a good introduction to the topic.

[Maggie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this clear-eyed account of mail-order brides. The book was well-written and contained interesting anecdotes. I appreciated the closing remarks about the reality of modern-day marriage.

[Maddy Barone · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was interesting and well written. I learned a lot, and my views changed a little bit about present day mail order brides.

[Rochelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a very interesting read -- I learned several things that I never knew before which is always my favorite thing about a book!!! A great history of marriage and women's property rights.

[Amy Turner · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good defence of the practice of arranged marriages from a distance.

[Rt · Rating 3 out of 5]

Zug traces mail-order marriages made by Europeans in North America, first as part of the colonial project/to prevent European men from marrying and becoming loyal to Native American women, and then later to allow American men who feel excluded from the marriage market because of American women’s demands to find women who appreciate what they have to give. She argues that most such marriages are successful, and that, because many of the women who come are well-educated and ambitious, and perceive the most “traditional” of American men as incredibly progressive compared to Russian or Korean etc. men, prejudices against mail-order marriage are bad. Though the participants in today’s versions say they’re not feminists, Zug thinks that’s really code for “not feeling like winners in today’s economy,” as if those are mutually exclusive things.

It is indeed an engaging history, but also frustrating. Questions that, if grappled with, could have made this project better: Does the fact that individual women have really good reasons to do a thing make that thing feminist? If foreign brides are a good way to deal with “unmarriageable” American men, what happens to the now-more-disproportionately-male society they have left? Does the racist history of mail-order bride programs, in which women were imported in order to preserve racial purity so that European men wouldn’t intermarry with Native Americans, have any analog in today’s attempts by mail-order brides and bride-seekers to preserve gender distinctions? Did the successes of those mail-order European brides come at the expense of native women (in some specific cases where native wives and children were cast off, the answer is clearly yes), and would something else have changed in those societies had mail-order brides not relieved some of the pressure?

[Zippergirl · Rating 4 out of 5]

Here come the brides! This scholarly examination of the history of mail-order brides by Marcia Zug, an associate law professor, digs deep into the phenomenon of marriages of convenience, yes, and love, between strangers. Her initial reaction to marriages of this sort, given her background in family and immigration law, was negative. What she found turned that gut reaction upside down.

Instead of victims of exploitation, Zug discovered that "despite significant risks, mail-order marriages are typically beneficial and even liberating for women."

This historical survey from the earliest English settlement in North America, Jamestown Colony, to the present day of internet marriage brokers, presents personal accounts and corollary evidence that "matrimonial advertisements' allowed women to bypass societal constraints and pursue greater freedom and marital equality.

The earliest mail-order brides were sponsored by political and religious organizations to settle the new colonies and frontiers, and allowed women who had few prospects to emigrate and take control of their destiny. "In Virginia, men outnnumbered women six to one.," while "England was panicking over its 'surplus' woman problem."

The second part of this book delves into modern-day marriages arranged through internet sites, and the ability of "otherwise isolated women" to state explicitly what they want in a potential husband, and also provides an opportunity for a green card. Win-win situation for both betrothed.

Readers with an appetite for those little known nooks and crannies of American history (or feminist literature, it is that also) will like this "engaging" expose of mail-order marriage.

I received an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Sara G · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a free copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

This book is a fantastic history of "mail order" marriages in the US, from the Jamestown colony in Virginia until modern times. The author especially focuses on the popular opinion of these matches. The author's assertion is basically that the earliest mail order relationships were intended to prevent European men from getting into relationships with the native women, and as such these women were very well regarded and even government sponsored at times. The later mail order relationships, from the Civil War era on, were less fondly looked upon because they were not solving any real social problems on a grand scale, and in some cases were bringing women from "undesirable" racial groups into the US population. The author ends with some information about modern internet mail order bride type relationships, and even touches upon same sex marriage in this context.

I knew very little about these sorts of relationships prior to reading this book, and I really enjoyed the historical aspects. The modern day relationships chapter, while still very well researched, seemed to be relying a bit more on hearsay and speculation, as well as data from the companies enabling these sorts of relationships. I think it's a subject that has not been widely cataloged before, so there is probably a lack of primary source material. Regardless, this is an enlightening read, and sparked a few conversations with my own significant other about how the dynamics of the mail order bride relationships differ from our own.

[Laura Lacey · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a really interesting scholarly piece on the history of mail order brides in America.

It is interesting to see how Zug goes into her study believing that mail order brides in the Colonial and Frontier eras must have been desperate women who were duped into giving up their home comforts, but upon further research it turns out that some of these women were leading the feminist movement. They took their lives into their own hands and in these areas where women so vastly outnumbered men they could behave with greater freedom; be more selective about whom they married and divorced and the law granted them more rights around property ownership etc.

This was flipped in the 50s and 60s as American women saw mail order brides as a threat to feminism. Women in this period traveled to the US to fulfill traditional housewife roles to the men they married and it was felt they were undermining progress.

I found the last section of the book really interesting - what drives modern women to travel to the US to marry men they have never met. Also how the world of mail order grooms is increasing in the gay community as men look to escape countries with terrible attitudes towards LGBT individuals.

All in all an enlightening work and I learned a bit about American history on the way too.

[Kristin Holt · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is not only for scholars. The nonfiction work is an easy read, informative, amusing, enlightening, and draws heavily from original sources. Approximately 1/3 of the page count (at the end of the text) is a careful, detailed listing of all sources cited in this scholarly work. But you'd never know that when reading for pleasure--or for information. If you're merely interested in an informative, fun, enlightening read that sheds light on your favorite fictional trope (Mail Order Bride Romances), you won't be disappointed. If you're looking for solid historical information (citations), you won't be disappointed.

Congratulations, Professor Zug. It is my genuine pleasure to review your new release with FIVE STARS and recommend it to readers of fiction and nonfiction alike.

My complete review of this title will post on September 20, 2016: http://www.kristinholt.com/archives/8180

[Olivia Ard · Rating 5 out of 5]

This history of "mail-order brides," or matrimonial immigration, is well-written, fast-paced, and downright fascinating. Most Western minds balk at the thought of marrying a virtual stranger based on financial exchange and lifestyle compatibility rather than love, but as Marcia A. Zug points out in Buying a Bride, the love match tradition is relatively new--less than a century ago, people were marrying each other for much more pragmatic reasons. The question here is, were they right, or are we? If you are a strong believer in a match based purely on love, don't be surprised if you find yourself questioning your views by the end of this thoroughly researched apology for the way things were.

I received a complimentary copy from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Michele Minor · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book discusses the history of mail order brides in the United States from colonial times to modern times. She discusses both the positive and negative views of mail order brides and how the opinions of them had changed due to the women who became mail order brides and their countries of origin. She provides a more through view of the history of mail order brides than previously known and disproves the stereotypes of mail order brides. I received a copy of this book in exchange for a review from Netgalley.