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5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great
Contrary to what you’ve been told, keeping a marriage successful does NOT take hard work! All it takes is making a few small changes over time. If you’re feeling your good marriage is starting to show a little wear, zero in on those imperfections, right? WRONG! Focus on what’s going well! Enhance the good aspects of your marriage and build on the solid foundation you already have. Dr. Orbuch debunks many common marriage myths and you’ll find out who needs more compliments—men or women. Who falls in love faster—women or men? With engaging quizzes and checklists; easy-to-use tips; and new takeaways on compatibility, fighting fair, and relationship ruts, 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great will give you perfect ways to say “I love you” and show you how to reignite the passion in your relationship. You’ll find out why it’s okay to go to bed mad and why you don’t want to engage in kitchen sinking! The advice in this smart, entertaining book will help you put the excitement back in your marriage in no time, and you’ll be amazed at how easy it will be. 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great is based on the findings of a groundbreaking study directed by Dr. Orbuch, and funded by the National Institutes of Health. The study—of the same 373 married couples—began in 1986 and continues today. Dr. Orbuch is a professor, a renowned therapist, and a nationally recognized relationship expert known as The Love Doctor®.
256 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2009
118 people are currently reading
661 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews
May 24, 2019
I would like to thank Goodreads for my Kindle Edition.
I wasn't sure what this book was going to offer or if it could help at all. Like most people, I feel I have a good to great marriage depending on the events that happening in our daily lives but I would like a great to exceptional marriage. This book offers some helpful advice on how to deal with the various things that happen when you are married for a while. Most of the things my husband and I do already, but it was nice to read why these steps work and have suggestions for other things to try. While reading, "refresher course" kept running through my mind...because really sometimes we do need to be reminded not to take one another for granted.
I wasn't sure what this book was going to offer or if it could help at all. Like most people, I feel I have a good to great marriage depending on the events that happening in our daily lives but I would like a great to exceptional marriage. This book offers some helpful advice on how to deal with the various things that happen when you are married for a while. Most of the things my husband and I do already, but it was nice to read why these steps work and have suggestions for other things to try. While reading, "refresher course" kept running through my mind...because really sometimes we do need to be reminded not to take one another for granted.
June 14, 2019
This is a very readable self-help book. It is credible especially in that it presents the results of a long-term NIH study, and conclusions used to formulate the 5 steps. In this era it is encouraging to have validity and reliability presented as reinforces of behavior change. The author has implemented a positive approach to achieving success, and focuses on what works, not what an individual perceives as wrong. No need to waste time on the whys of a situation, but instead move confidently from one's own strengths. I enjoyed the quizzes, tips, and background data. My partner was impressed with my cursory presentation of this text, and we'll let you know soon how we fared, since going from good to great is a compelling outcome to work toward.
December 18, 2019
Marriage made easy
I really appreciated this book because sometimes I tend to overcomplicate things or overthink issues in my marriage when there are none. The author provides five simple steps to making your marriage joyful and how to rectify any issues. Great book!
I really appreciated this book because sometimes I tend to overcomplicate things or overthink issues in my marriage when there are none. The author provides five simple steps to making your marriage joyful and how to rectify any issues. Great book!
March 24, 2018
A good read
I found this book very incite full based upon real research. It has some very good recommendations for improving your marriage.
I found this book very incite full based upon real research. It has some very good recommendations for improving your marriage.
April 4, 2018
This was easy to digest and contained great reminders and easy-to-implement steps to improve a good marriage.
June 26, 2018
If you are in a great marriage and want to improve, I recommend reading Gottman. This was a skimmer for me.
November 10, 2018
Good reminders
June 17, 2019
It was a well researched book with tips for making marriages better.
September 11, 2020
2 to 2.5 stars.
Pretty basic stuff.
This is heavily weighted toward gender stereotypes
Pretty basic stuff.
This is heavily weighted toward gender stereotypes
August 31, 2024
Really nice positive twist on marriage advice
January 11, 2025
A great book filled with science backed marriage solutions.
January 24, 2016
Originally posted at Bunny's Review
I noticed this book at a reduced price on a newsletter from BookBub. Well I had to check it out. I admit upfront that I am divorcing my husband. But it will be explained why in the review.
When starting the book there are some praises from unknown people. That is fine. It is similar in all non-fiction books. I quickly jumped over these and directly started with chapter one. I wanted to read this book to see if I could find out if it was possible to save a marriage.
Directly on the first and second page (on my Kindle do not know about actual print) this book talks about expectations in marriages. Even goes too far as to state expectations and frustrations are the main reason for failed marriages. Quoted directly from the book <>
Really?!? It was frustration and not my husband being a drunk that caused a bad marriage. It wasn’t him being more concerned with the bottle and whatever he could pop/shoot/snort than caused the marriage to fail. It wasn’t that when he was drunk or high he because someone I did not know. Someone that had rather rape or beat me half to death than show an ounce of compassion to me.
The really funny part is in the description this author states a successful marriage does NOT take hard work. In the one marriage I have experienced it would not matter either way.
This book seems to be based only on couples this author worked with. Not a large and diverse selection of couples. The information in the book seems old and outdated. This book was originally published in 2009 but could easily been published in 1979.
The sad part about therapist and authors writing something as serious as marriage is that this is their opinion. This is NOT fact. The author does not know and is basing their opinion on what they have observed. 90% of people who write a book like this has never experienced such devastating heartache from a spouse. They have never experienced or lived with someone who drinks 2 minutes after waking up and is still drinking when they pass out hours later. They have never experienced the hurt from having a spouse beat them, rape them, and/or attempt to kill them.
No matter what communication is a very important part of marriage? When reading this book take the information with a grain of salt. This is just the authors opinion and does not amount to a hill of beans.
Disclosure: This book was borrowed as digital from my public library.
No the bunnies and I do not recommend this book. Well the bunnies recommend the print book as something great to chew on.
The bunnies and I give this book The bunnies and I give this book [image error] carrots.
I noticed this book at a reduced price on a newsletter from BookBub. Well I had to check it out. I admit upfront that I am divorcing my husband. But it will be explained why in the review.
When starting the book there are some praises from unknown people. That is fine. It is similar in all non-fiction books. I quickly jumped over these and directly started with chapter one. I wanted to read this book to see if I could find out if it was possible to save a marriage.
Directly on the first and second page (on my Kindle do not know about actual print) this book talks about expectations in marriages. Even goes too far as to state expectations and frustrations are the main reason for failed marriages. Quoted directly from the book <>
Really?!? It was frustration and not my husband being a drunk that caused a bad marriage. It wasn’t him being more concerned with the bottle and whatever he could pop/shoot/snort than caused the marriage to fail. It wasn’t that when he was drunk or high he because someone I did not know. Someone that had rather rape or beat me half to death than show an ounce of compassion to me.
The really funny part is in the description this author states a successful marriage does NOT take hard work. In the one marriage I have experienced it would not matter either way.
This book seems to be based only on couples this author worked with. Not a large and diverse selection of couples. The information in the book seems old and outdated. This book was originally published in 2009 but could easily been published in 1979.
The sad part about therapist and authors writing something as serious as marriage is that this is their opinion. This is NOT fact. The author does not know and is basing their opinion on what they have observed. 90% of people who write a book like this has never experienced such devastating heartache from a spouse. They have never experienced or lived with someone who drinks 2 minutes after waking up and is still drinking when they pass out hours later. They have never experienced the hurt from having a spouse beat them, rape them, and/or attempt to kill them.
No matter what communication is a very important part of marriage? When reading this book take the information with a grain of salt. This is just the authors opinion and does not amount to a hill of beans.
Disclosure: This book was borrowed as digital from my public library.
No the bunnies and I do not recommend this book. Well the bunnies recommend the print book as something great to chew on.
The bunnies and I give this book The bunnies and I give this book [image error] carrots.
April 22, 2010
This book was recommended to me by Linda Johnson and I'm so glad she recommended it! There is a ton of valuable and applicable information in this book. The "5 Simple Steps" are written in five chapters which make the ideas easy to understand and follow. I also love that all of the concepts are backed by her research of real couples (I do love sociology!).
It's a great book for both the husband and wife to read and learn the concepts of what's normal in a relationship (especially after the "newlywed" years) as well as how to enact specific behaviors to make marriage happier as things get harder with kids, work, etc... My husband and I read this book together (separately-together) and discussed each chapter as we finished it. One of my favorite things is that it's written for men and women and makes each of you feel empowered and like you can work on your relationship together (unlike another book I know a lot of people read, which basically tells women to give it up to men because they're idiots and don't need anything else to be happy...lame).
Also, I don't think you have to be struggling in your marriage to read this book and make positive changes to your marriage. It's really good to be prepared before you have problems! AND, just because you have a desire to read books about bettering your marriage, doesn't mean you have marriage problems (a common misconception, I think).
A tip: the book isn't at our local library, which is weird because it's by a lady that works at UofM. However, you can order it off Amazon and it's worth the investment!
It's a great book for both the husband and wife to read and learn the concepts of what's normal in a relationship (especially after the "newlywed" years) as well as how to enact specific behaviors to make marriage happier as things get harder with kids, work, etc... My husband and I read this book together (separately-together) and discussed each chapter as we finished it. One of my favorite things is that it's written for men and women and makes each of you feel empowered and like you can work on your relationship together (unlike another book I know a lot of people read, which basically tells women to give it up to men because they're idiots and don't need anything else to be happy...lame).
Also, I don't think you have to be struggling in your marriage to read this book and make positive changes to your marriage. It's really good to be prepared before you have problems! AND, just because you have a desire to read books about bettering your marriage, doesn't mean you have marriage problems (a common misconception, I think).
A tip: the book isn't at our local library, which is weird because it's by a lady that works at UofM. However, you can order it off Amazon and it's worth the investment!
July 25, 2010
This book was all right. I know it says that it's for people to take their marriage from good to great, but it seemed more geared toward people who are having a not-so-good marriage. I didn't feel like some of the steps applied to us because we weren't having issues in those areas, or we had already figured it out after a couple of months of being married.
At one point, I was asking my husband a bunch of questions about our relationship and he said something along the lines of, "Why do you want to talk about this stuff? It makes me feel like you're questioning our relationship." I kid you not, the very next paragraph I read indicated that women like to talk about their relationships because they see it as a positive, reassuring thing, whereas men see it as a negative thing. I read that out loud and we both laughed. It made the frustrating moment disappear instantly.
This book made me appreciate my marriage more, even though we are having no issues.
At one point, I was asking my husband a bunch of questions about our relationship and he said something along the lines of, "Why do you want to talk about this stuff? It makes me feel like you're questioning our relationship." I kid you not, the very next paragraph I read indicated that women like to talk about their relationships because they see it as a positive, reassuring thing, whereas men see it as a negative thing. I read that out loud and we both laughed. It made the frustrating moment disappear instantly.
This book made me appreciate my marriage more, even though we are having no issues.
November 29, 2015
This book doesn't say anything new. What is interesting, though, is that the book is based on actual research with married couples.
Unfortunately, the participants were white and black "couples matched in their racial background who applied for marriage licenses in a Midwest county in 1986." That means, that the advice on this book might apply, appeal, relate, and be understood by white people only. The issues that marriages face and the way couples communicate varies from culture to culture. And while I'm not saying that the book should address each culture we have in the U.S., at least the research should've been done with more diversity.
Thank you Netgalley for providing me a free copy of this title.
Unfortunately, the participants were white and black "couples matched in their racial background who applied for marriage licenses in a Midwest county in 1986." That means, that the advice on this book might apply, appeal, relate, and be understood by white people only. The issues that marriages face and the way couples communicate varies from culture to culture. And while I'm not saying that the book should address each culture we have in the U.S., at least the research should've been done with more diversity.
Thank you Netgalley for providing me a free copy of this title.
September 29, 2012
If you want to just read the chapter titles, you'll probably get everything you want to out of this book. Also, it turns out I need a book called "Five Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage From Great to Awesome." Because my husband and I have already got everything she suggests here down. That's pretty cool, right? Hint, communicate and do fun stuff. Marriage shouldn't all be a slog through your problems with each other.
May 23, 2010
Recommended by Linda Johnson. Great so far.
Lots of good ideas in this book based on the author's (Ph.D. in Sociology) 20-30 year study of 300+ married couples, following them from their wedding throughout their marriage to try to understand what makes a successful marriage. She summarizes her main points at the end of each chapter in case you don't have time to read the whole thing.
Lots of good ideas in this book based on the author's (Ph.D. in Sociology) 20-30 year study of 300+ married couples, following them from their wedding throughout their marriage to try to understand what makes a successful marriage. She summarizes her main points at the end of each chapter in case you don't have time to read the whole thing.
March 5, 2011
I'm a sucker for self-help books that advocate easy-to-do actions based on lots and lots of scientific research. The most curious part of this book is the fact that women who have clear memories of their wedding days are less happy than those whose memories have faded. Could it be that a key to happiness is a general inability to remember one's past?
April 9, 2016
The part I thought was most valuable was Chapter 2 on Incentives and Rewards (p.56-86). Although the first chapter had good information as well, I don't think it was organized in the best way possible. The rest of the book didn't feel that helpful but as other reviewers have stated maybe this is just because our marriage is already on really solid footing.
November 20, 2010
Great advice. The list of costly vs. rewarding behaviors is helpful. Also the idea that most couples rarely make time to just have conversation, to get to know each other, which this book recommendeds each day.
June 15, 2015
I try to read at least a couple marriage books each year. It keeps me on my toes and focusing my energy on what matters most. This was a super-simple, easy book to read that will hopefully inspire you in being the best spouse you can be. Nothing new, but a good reminder.
July 12, 2016
Realistic and practical advice for couples of all ages, and stages of their marriage. Since we don't have kids yet, I plan on creating a FHE out of the five steps and going through them with my wife.
February 8, 2012
Confession ~ I'm only on the 50 pages in and I already think it's worthy of 5 stars! FANTASTIC and should be mandatory reading before you get married :) We'll see what my end result rating is...
April 26, 2012
The information about the author's marriage study was interesting, but I didn't think the actual advice was anything that new or revolutionary.
August 18, 2012
Said the same thing over and over again.. avoid frustrations by not expecting much and you will have a great marriage. Simple yes, but makes a boring book.
July 7, 2013
There were many parts of this book I fully agreed with, but there were also a lot of sections I read and went, seriously!? As long as you take the reading in stride, it's a decent book.
January 20, 2016
I really appreciated the wisdom and advice in this book. I feel like I already have a wonderful marriage which is why I love reading books like this to help me keep things fresh and fun.
January 28, 2016
This was a great book with so many wonderful ideas on how to eliminate marriage frustrations and how to make things better.
December 29, 2012
Somehow, it does help me to configure what I should do next :)
Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews