9 Lovers for Emily Spankhammer

by Kaleesha Williams, Timothy James Brown

Spectacular southern belle Emily Spankhammer is driven by love and the dubious advice of Sparkle, her mostly invisible pink unicorn spirit guide, into a quest for romance. But with Sparkle more interested in his own deranged bucket list, and men as reliable as a 1971 1.6L Ford Pinto Runabout hatchback, what could possibly go wrong? Circus performers, billionaires, detectives, and a menagerie of wild animals; Emily and Sparkle work their way through the available talent like two raccoons through a picnic hamper.

Doing for romance what Spinal Tap did for progressive rock, “9 Lovers for Emily Spankhammer” has rewritten the romance novel one cliché at a time and left it noticeably unhinged.

Genres: Humor

189 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 2, 2015

About the author

Kaleesha Williams accomplishes her musing, writing, and goat-wrangling in rural southeastern Missouri—that is, when she has time between homeschooling and adoring her seven children, gardening, repairing small engines, planning projects, and trying to get her sourdough English muffins to cook up properly.

Reviews

[Wayne Ballinger · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's funny, it's a damn good read.

From the first page I was smiling and chuckling to myself, from then on it was all smiles and laughs all the way through. I can't stress enough how good this book is, how absolutely funny it is.

When I read this line "Emily's father was the sort of old school parent who would have been described as "uptight" by the Pakistan Taliban" I knew I was going to be entertained.

At £1.29 I feel as though I have robbed the Author,

[Kat · Rating 5 out of 5]

Outrageously funny! I laughed so hard I was in tears. Exactly my kind of humour, I did not want this book to end. Emily is awfully naive, and there were times, when I found myself forgetting she's supposed to be in her late thirties and not a teenager...a split second here and there when it almost bothered me, but I quickly got over it, whilst howling with laughter.
Sparkle! There needs to be a book about Sparkle - the horny creature is outrageously..well, well and truly horny. Such a feel-good book.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

A daft, innuendo filled, tongue-in-cheek romp, poking fun at Mills and Boon style romances. Emily, at the suggestion of her spirit guide, decides to drop everything and follow her heart. She sets off on a journey to find her true love - leading to many a too good to be true encounter. The spirit guide being, as it turns out, a rather less wholesome character than she expected.

[Pauline · Rating 4 out of 5]

Surreal romantic novel

Wow, I was not expecting that!
9 lovers in a surreal romp through Emily's life, adorned with mythology, tragedy, beavers, a sex obsessed unicorn, friends, gods, cattle, men and Ned the Loch Ness monster, what a read!

I highly recommend this book if you fancy a laugh and something a little different.

[C I KESZEI · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you don't laugh at this, then you should probably seek medical assistance

I chose this based on TJ Brown's other books and whilst utterly and completely different, it made me laugh.
There were enough double entendres and phfnar moments to satisfy anyone's requirements.
Well worth a read.

[Rebecca · Rating 4 out of 5]

While I am loath to say anything negative about anything that T J Brown puts his name to, I have to admit that at more points than I wanted to, I had to remind myself of the "Surreal Proportions" warned of in the title of this outing. Which is to say, it gets a bit silly awfully quick and worrisomely often. The tale actually does something that Brown's other work never does: It dips into the advanced slapstick and heavy-on-the-similies sort of comedy that lesser humorous fiction is prey to, and to its cost, I am afraid. I can't love Emily as I have loved others in Brown's collection, though she does deserve a passing look: The book is obviously an early work, one done with a co-writer (who, it must be said, did Brown few favors). If you look at it as a trying-on of Brown's comic voice, it is much easier to see it in a favorable light, which I chose to do. The story hums along, a little shrilly at times, but with certain rhythm, and a bit of a catchy tune; it's a pleasant read. That I still count it up there on my Favorites shelf, gave it four stars and actually paid to give it house room on my Kindle perhaps says enough about Emily Spankhammer.

[Trish Mullens · Rating 5 out of 5]

9 lovers for Emily Spankhammer,by Kaleesha Williams and Tim Brown was a hilarious, absurd adventure I very much enjoyed. The comedy, from over the top descriptiveness, to the fantasy characters, and not so romantic, romance kept me laughing and wondering what could possibly be the outcome!
Well written, and very entertaining!

[Justine Payen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting and Whacky Ride

This book lives up to the name, definitely a romantic comedy of surreal proportions. I recommend it if you are after a light hearted romp!